Date: March 02, 2018 06:34 pm Title: "It's Too Soon"
I've read this before, more than once, yet I'm still here with tears streaming down my face! That is so clearly the sign of an amazing storyteller. To bring out that type of emotion, when one knows basically what's going to happen, and with fictional characters... you are just really awesome at telling this. I find that there are some fics out there in the medical genere, that really have far too much medical jargon in them. I bow to an author for really wanting to keep it accurate but it gets cold. Also when you read too many terms you are unfamiliar with your eyes kinda glaze a bit and I know I'll find myself starting to skim which leads to me missing important or cute moments I wouldn't have wanted to miss. On top of that to tell a very real story, keeping it relatable yet keeping the heart in the story, well, let's just say I'm ashamed I didn't review this years ago when I first read it. I don't know if you said somewhere in here that this is based on an experience of your own or if it's just something I've taken for granted but assumuing I'm right about this then I really want to applaud you. The thing is, there are some really great writers, ones that are well loved that put too much of themselves into the stories. For example, they start giving Jim or Pam so many of their own or their spouse's qualities that pretty soon they've kinda lost me because that person has pretty much become someone else. Or if it's a younger person for instance and they are writing about Jim and Pam's kids, often Jim and Pam as parent's stop being the people from the show and instead are just stand ins for that writer's parents I don't know if I'm making any sense. I just know that through the nearly decade I've been on these boards those stories that authors put too much of themselves into have really kinda lost favor with me. I think maybe my idea of who Jim and Pam are is now so strong from rewatches etc that I know when it just seems off. SO... sorry I got caught up in too much explaination (not that you'll read this anyhow as this story is quite old) I just wanted to say that I really admire how you really did a balancing act of experience/medical knowledge/general Jim/Pam. I'm going to reread your other stuff next. I remember a couple fondly, one where Jim and or Pam write letters to the kids and another where the kids kinda mirror the DM staff a bit too much. I've decided I want to try harder to review fics I'm rereading as I know that I often will read reviews first, especially if I'm on the fence about a story. This one honestly is just far too good to pass up. I'm so grateful that you shared your talent with us.
Date: August 28, 2010 04:24 pm Title: Dear J.D.
OK, apparently I don't know how to reach you on the message board, so I'm going to post my rambling here:
I hope you won't mind if I offer a suggestion about your story.
I think you have a really touching, sweet idea, but the reason it may not be garnering as much feedback as you'd like (and believe me, I know how frustrating that is), is that the letters, while great to read, only give us a glimpse of the potential the chapters have.
A professor I had in college once told me the first rule of writing is "show, don't tell." With making an entire story of only letters, you do all the telling and none of the showing. Jim and Pam trying to bathe a wriggling baby? Jim's head exploding in Babies R Us, or where ever? Jim and Pam celebrating J.D. gaining a couple of ounces? Those sound like great scenes.
If you're inclined, I think it might be really interesting if you went back and actually wrote the scenes you're describing in each letter. Use the letters as the intro to each scene, or even break up them into pieces and use them as a sort of narration.
I think the letters are really only the tip of the iceberg of what the story could be. I know that was the concept and I don't mean to criticize it, but I think there's a lot of untapped potential there. You have these really good ideas, and I for one would like to see them come to fruition.
Please feel free to ignore this if you think I'm completely off-base, and whether you decide to take the idea or not, please know that I write, not in the spirit of criticism, but in the spirit of friendship and encouragement.
Author's Response: yeah, i see your point. however, this is meant to be a companion piece to "It's Too Soon", so those scenes have already been written.
Date: August 11, 2010 07:17 pm Title: Dear J.D.
1st - JKras getting married = saddest day of that month for me. :( This was really sweet, I like Jim describing the room, and how big of a deal him gaining a pound was. Even though this is AU, I think you hit on the emotions of what a parent is going through during this time when all they want to do is bring their baby home. (a friend of a friend is going through this right now, so this hits a bit close to home for me.)
Date: August 07, 2010 09:01 am Title: Dear J.D.
I prefer the chapters (like this one!) that are just between Jim and JD, with a touch of Pam. I think they feel more "real" than the ones that try to pull in the whole cast. This is sweet; I have a sense of Jim's keeping a stiff upper lip and a concerted effort to be optimistic.
Date: July 12, 2010 04:47 am Title: Dear J.D.
Oh I Loved the summary's of each person. Creed's, was just.. well Creed:) Are the camera crew's names a tribute to our awesome office writers? Okay except for that last episode. I'm with you, it was disaponting, didn't feel like a season finale at all. But anyway, please keep writing these, I love how easily you write Jim. 5 stars from me!
Author's Response: yes indeed, the crew is named after the writers!
Date: May 17, 2010 09:42 pm Title: Dear J.D.
this reminds me a lot of "its too soon" i dont really remember who the autor is, only the title(maybe is u xd). i love how he talks to him as a baby if the letters are for a 18 year old =D
Author's Response: i'm the author of "it's too soon"
Date: May 16, 2010 09:32 pm Title: We Just Can't Escape The Madness
oh my gosh, this happened at work????? where do you work? this is awesome. Kevin *grins stupidly* lol. I really do love your sense of humor. Keep going, and yeah, this is from 1066, but who cares!
P.S. I just love how Nan Reg's bday prompted all of these old and new authors to show their faces and come out to join the party. And then everyone else started posting again! I think it's really May... I can't wait to read every one's fic's this summer!
Author's Response: i work at babies r us. some 10-year-old boys were giggling at all the breastfeeding stuff. they were saying, "look, this says breast too!"
Date: May 16, 2010 06:34 pm Title: Dear J.D.
Oh, I like this very much. I think you hit the right notes of a young man trying to write this type of message to his baby. Not too mushy but still very tender. I especially liked this passage:
I hate that I can't hold you right now. You keep trying to cry around your tube, but you can't. Your face scrunches up and gets red, and you open your mouth, but you can’t make a sound. You’re killing me here, buddy. I just want to pick you up and cuddle you, but all I'm allowed to do is touch your little hand.
I'm looking forward to more.
Date: February 21, 2010 11:29 pm Title: The Name Game
u have used those name before right, they ring a bell.
im guessing u'r the same flonkertonchamp who leaves comments at officetally, if not, someone is usurping u.xd
Author's Response: yes, same flonkertonchamp from OT... and yes i've used the names before, they're in my other fics