Date: April 26, 2013 07:05 pm Title: Chapter 4
OOOOH i like this story alot!! Please finish!! :(
Date: October 02, 2007 02:03 pm Title: Chapter 4
FINISHH ITT !! WOAHH DANGG YOU BETTERR !!
i wantt to see what happenss [: i love it so farr !!
Date: April 21, 2007 08:59 pm Title: Chapter 3
This is the best chapter yet... by not taking the easy way out (demonizing Karen, having Jim immediately run off with Pam, etc.) you're setting the story up for a great ending. Life is always complicated and full of gray areas, and you're capturing that well. Nice work!
Author's Response: Thank you so much! I really appreciate it! =)
Date: April 19, 2007 04:04 pm Title: Chapter 2
Very well done. I think your writing is best/most powerful when you let the narrative jump into one of the characters heads, like you do here:
Jim looked around the office to distract his eyes from her beautiful body, but nothing else could catch his eye. It was just him and her now, alone in the dark office, almost exactly like last May...
So don't be shy about showing more thoughts-- that's the best part . I'm not sure where you're taking this, but I would like to vote for the "Karen goes totally apeshit" route.
Nice job. Keep it up!
Author's Response:
Thanks so much! I promise next chapter moew thoughts! =)
*Emily
5 [Report This]Date: April 19, 2007 02:04 pm Title: Chapter 1
very cute! i love FNB.... karen is going to have a coronary...good!
Author's Response: Thank you very much!
10 [Report This]Date: April 18, 2007 07:44 pm Title: Chapter 1
*jaw hits ground*....*picks jaw up* I loved it!
Author's Response: Thanks! After my classes today, I'll beging writing chapter 2!
Date: April 18, 2007 06:39 pm Title: Chapter 1
OK, I'm in. Write more. Especially if Pam is a Sassy Lassy. P.S. Teensy nitpick -- it's morale, not moral.
Author's Response: Yay! Hah thank you, I'll be sure to fix that ; )