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Reviewer: secondrink Signed [Report This]
Date: June 09, 2007 10:01 pm Title: The Line

I really like the possibilities of the post-Karen aftermath that you laid out here.  I hadn't thought of them before but they make a lot of sense.  I'm so interested in how the writers are going to deal with all of that in the fall. 

Reviewer: Too Late Kev Signed [Report This]
Date: June 06, 2007 09:11 pm Title: Man Up, James Halpert

Well, I guess it all makes me think a bit, which is a good thing.  It definitely seems tragic.  If Jim was really in love with Karen, he should have figured it out and taken the job in NY.  This way, nobody's happy in this triangle!  And, boy, would he have a lot to prove to Karen.  She wouldn't be trusting him for a long time!

As usual, Night Swept, you've made me think.  Hey, now my brain hurts!  Why'd you go and make me have to think? ;)

Keep writing your own interesting take on things, Night Swept.  We need different views. 



Author's Response: Thanks Too Late Kev.  I take that my stuff makes you think as a big compliment.  So you brain is hurting, eh?  I broke my brain a long time ago-- Now I'm coming after yours!  Seriously, though, thanks for the comments.

Reviewer: Alamos Signed [Report This]
Date: June 06, 2007 07:41 pm Title: A House Divided

Okay... I finally sat down and read this story from start to finish at work...

I loved this story even though it didn't like a happy JAM story. I liked how you described Jim's inner struggle and demons. I actually felt "a little" sorry Karen.



Author's Response: Thanks a lot.  "A little" is good, although this was about as happy and ending as she could have gotten, I think.  Thanks for the feedback.

Reviewer: StarShine Signed 10 [Report This]
Date: June 06, 2007 04:14 pm Title: A House Divided

I know I commented already, but I just had to say, I blame you for the guilt lingering in the back of my mind every time I read not just first date stories, but any JAM stories. ^_^ And yet, I'm still reading them. Seriously, can't get over how powerful this was! Bravo again!

Author's Response: I'm honored to be the source of your guilt-bone ailment... is that mean?  Seriously, though, this is a really nice thing to read about a story.  Thanks for writing such great feedback.    

Reviewer: tunalover Signed [Report This]
Date: June 06, 2007 01:58 pm Title: Man Up, James Halpert

This would NOT happen!

Reviewer: feared_or_loved Signed 9 [Report This]
Date: June 06, 2007 01:27 pm Title: Man Up, James Halpert

Ok, I read your chapter end notes and I've got to disagree.  Yeah, yeah you're the author, but clearly Jim is not wracked with guilt, he has been possessed....by the Devil.  That is how I'm choosing to read this because the real reason makes me too sad.  very nice writing.

Author's Response: If he were possessed by the Devil, wouldn't he have pawned Karen's ring to help offset the $80000 he owes Dwight ?  Thanks for the review!  About that sad feeling... if only someone would post a happy story, maybe about Jim and Pam's first date.  

Reviewer: tunalover Signed [Report This]
Date: June 06, 2007 01:26 pm Title: A House Divided

Interesting take on the aftermath of Jim's happy ending.  Although I didn't relish this side of Karen or Jim, it is probably pretty real.  Thanks for writng

Reviewer: sherlockelly Signed 10 [Report This]
Date: June 06, 2007 12:08 pm Title: Man Up, James Halpert

I like this! I love when characters have weaknesses and are idiots because, hi. That is life, is it not?

And obviously TV world is different from real world, but when I'm really something to connect with it, it's the hurt that resonates, not the 'it's a date.'

So, I'm proud that you wrote this. And the ending doesn't suck, it's beautifully written and if people think it suchs, they just don't like the content. Your end notes sum it up brilliantlly and I can absolutely see the roles changing hardcore.

And, it wasn't until I read the part where Karen was everything that he'd hoped Pam would be, it kind of hit me that's true. Probably very true. So, yes. I really love this.



Author's Response: Thanks a lot--  I think we think a lot alike.  We all act like idiots sometimes, and in real life we don't get a nice happy ending all giftwrapped for us as a reward.  I'm glad you noticed the part about the strengths of Pam vs Karen.  I think Pam can spend her whole life trying to get strong with varying degree of success, while Karen was just born with a natural, innate toughness (with one Jim-sized loophole).  So it kindof riled me that Jim appreciated Pam's so much and completely ignored Karen's.  Thanks again for the feedback!  

Reviewer: KarenTheJimSlayer Signed 10 [Report This]
Date: June 06, 2007 10:49 am Title: Man Up, James Halpert

I guess I should tell you I liked this so much that I finally bothered registering so I could make a comment.  I should start by saying I love Jim and my screen name is only cause my first name is also Karen.  Im very new to the Office (dvds and itunes) , and I never really caught the whole Jam bug with the same intensity that most people have, so the way he dropped Karen for her kindof put me off.  Im glad you took the hard road with this story.  But where I disagree is I think its a happy ending.  Once he leaves Scranton, hell win her over eventually, because hes a much cooler guy (to her) in Stamford than Scranton, so NY or Boston shouldn't be any different.  Thanks!

Author's Response: Welcome!  I'm glad you registered and wrote this.  I think they probably have a good shot at making it, but it's not going to just fall into Jim's lap like it did the last time.  He'll have to be the insecure outsider this time around.  There weren't any conventional happy endings available, so I'm glad you like this one.  Thanks again!

Reviewer: StarShine Signed 10 [Report This]
Date: June 06, 2007 10:18 am Title: Man Up, James Halpert

Wow. Of course, being the Jammer that I am, I would expect to hate this ending, but surprisingly, your Jim pisses me off so much, he deserves this miserable life. In fact, Karen should go and break his heart. Yep. Ouch.. this hurt so much to read, but it was soooo good! Oh, and you made me really really hate Jim, but in a very believable way... THAT is talent!

Author's Response:  Thanks a lot!  I wanted Jim to be well-intentioned but completely unprepared to handle his new desire to grow up.  And Karen will probably give it an honest go with him but she's justifiably weary, and if they do fizzle out Pam will have long moved on to somebody without all the self-inflicted baggage.  Not the happiest of endings, but I'm glad you liked it.

Reviewer: Ozana Signed [Report This]
Date: June 06, 2007 06:47 am Title: Man Up, James Halpert

I am leaning towards sadistic.  LOL    Well written!

Reviewer: Maybe Once Signed [Report This]
Date: June 06, 2007 06:26 am Title: Man Up, James Halpert

Well, it is a twist, I'll say that.   This is an unusual story.   Usually, the "Jim ends up with Karen" stories are all "Karen is AWESOME! Pam SUCKS ROCKS!" but, in this story, Pam comes out looking like the best person of the three flawed players.   Jim is a total douche and Karen is melodramatic and Pathetic....so, I suppose in a way they deserve each other.   

Author's Response: I'm glad you saw it this way... Pam's supposed to be relatively clean while the dirty dirty Jim overreacts and tries to man up all at once, then deludes himself and takes advantage of the also-relatively-clean Karen's one giant flaw (overcommitted).  She can tell him to f*** off, but can't follow through with it.  I hope you enjoyed the mess.

Reviewer: fasterthansnakes Signed [Report This]
Date: June 06, 2007 05:50 am Title: A House Divided

If karen takes Jim back after this she is officially the most deluded idiot alive. interesting story.

Author's Response: If I had a nickel for every confident, capable, strong woman I know who does everything right except fall for guys who jerk them around... I'd have about a quarter... 30 cents if I get to count Office characters.

Reviewer: officenut Signed 10 [Report This]
Date: June 06, 2007 01:41 am Title: Man Up, James Halpert

Man up, Night Swept.  This is really cool.  I like how you left this in such a mess.  Pam is the big loser now, which I am not thrilled with, but this is so much more true-to-life than sitcommy taht I don't even care.  Great Job.  You're probably going to eat some serious crap for this but I love it.

Reviewer: Alex Wert Signed 10 [Report This]
Date: June 06, 2007 01:28 am Title: Man Up, James Halpert

It does feel a little awkward to end it there and in the manner that you did, though that certainly shouldn't take away from the quality of this chapter or your writing as a whole.

I have a healthy respect for someone who has the cajones to put something like this on the table and not pull any punches.

Repost to comment on the wonderful review posted 4 minutes after mine (albie at 1:05 am):

Awesome!  I couldn't incite that kind of rage even by killing Pam, but I heartily congratulate you on besting my most anger for a single posting mark (even if that wasn't the goal either of us set out to achieve).

Though she may have a bit of a point: when I reread from chapter 3 a second time to refresh myself as to the setup, I think it felt a little disjointed between 3 and 4, like the path from one to the other really wasn't easily bridgeable.

RE:So where did it leave us? Jim, unhappy and ready to take his punishment as he feels he deserves. Karen, on the pathetic side embarking on revenge that will feel good at first and then leave her feeling just as empty and possibly guilt-ridden. And Pam, blissfully unaware and stupidly supportive. That's... Well, that's something.

Yeah, that's pretty much where I see this situation heading, too.  That could be fun as well.



Author's Response:

What can I say, we're artists... As for ch3-4 I can see the disjoint as well.  I was worried that if I wrote a transition chapter, it would just be more of the same and the story would bog down.  As far as the anger mark... I was going for "queasy and messy," but I'll be the first to admit I drifted into some blasphemous waters.  (although I did mark the story "Angst" not "Fluff.")  Thanks for the comments.  I look forward to seeing what you come up with next. 

Reviewer: Team Karen Signed 10 [Report This]
Date: June 06, 2007 01:16 am Title: Man Up, James Halpert

My God. I love it.  I didn't think you'd have the guts to end it this way so major major props.  Jim deserves a crappy ending.  Karen deserves to be in the drivers seat.  Nice job.  I know you'll get panned for doing this, but great, great ending.  Mad props on your guts.  thanks again.

Author's Response: I knew I could count on you. Thanks for all the support.  

Reviewer: albie_ Signed [Report This]
Date: June 06, 2007 01:05 am Title: Man Up, James Halpert

Love can be a selfish thing. Love can make you do insanely stupid things. I think many people and these characters certainly displayed that. It's no excuse, of course, but life sometimes works that way. You DO gamble when you love someone and sometimes, you lose. Jim saw both ends of that and I kinda hoped he'd learn something. Not here, apparently. I don't think it's realistic to be wrenched with guilt the way Jim was. I kinda found it amusing and drama queenish and expected to see him slitting his wrists by the end of this while listening to some Travis or Death Cab song. May have made a bit more sense than what I think you wanted to be a "cool" twist.  So where did it leave us? Jim, unhappy and ready to take his punishment as he feels he deserves. Karen, on the pathetic side embarking on revenge that will feel good at first and then leave her feeling just as empty and possibly guilt-ridden. And Pam, blissfully unaware and stupidly supportive. That's... Well, that's something. I guess you can pat yourself on the back for being a sadistic ass, though I think that's a bit more complimentary than I'd say. I think it comes off as you wanting to piss off the OMGJAMMERS. And since you'll probably get many "OMG MEAN" replies, maybe that's an accomplishment. But that doesn't make you a "sadistic ass". It just seems kinda childish. Ah well. 

Author's Response: I think you read things worse than I had intended, which is probably my fault.  I certainly didn't want to imply Pam was going to be supportive of him after this.  She'll probably want to kill him.  And Karen's not out for payback, rather she's the one harboring all the doubts this time around and Jim's the confused outsider.  Anyways, this is the most useful kind of feedback and thanks for taking the time to write it.

Reviewer: missmargaret Signed [Report This]
Date: June 06, 2007 12:58 am Title: Man Up, James Halpert

My jaw...is on the floor. Okay, so I TOTALLY didn't expect that. But you know what? It was really good to be surprised this time.

Great job. Like, really. Great job!

Wow.



Author's Response: Thanks a lot Margaret.  I'm glad you like it!

Reviewer: PamPongChamp Signed [Report This]
Date: June 06, 2007 12:55 am Title: Man Up, James Halpert

you are insane. definately a sadistic ass.

and youve got balls to post something like this.

ugh, youve just pissed me off beyond belief, and it's a shame since this is written so well. 



Author's Response: Certainly wasn't going for the pissing off anyone beyond belief... rather trying to write something with a flailing, queasy feel to it that may or may not have worked.  But hey, you can appreciate all the fluff a little more now, right?  Thanks for commenting.

Reviewer: gotkona Signed [Report This]
Date: June 04, 2007 08:41 am Title: The Line

I look forward to more Man Jim. 

Reviewer: gotkona Signed [Report This]
Date: June 04, 2007 08:38 am Title: A House Divided

I agree Jim is a good guy and tht breaking up with Karen had to be hard for him. I just wish we would have seen it.;)

Reviewer: Green Eggs and Pam Signed 10 [Report This]
Date: June 03, 2007 04:47 pm Title: A House Divided

I do like this a lot.  I'm a total Pam fan but her behavior on her beach speech annoyed me a bit, and her breakroom conversation with Karen in the Job really struck me as self-centered, entitled and disrepectful so I like how this story shows some of the dark side of things.  FOr me Pam is easy to forgive so I hope you dont go too hard on her.  Great story.  I'm hooked.

Reviewer: Team Karen Signed 10 [Report This]
Date: June 02, 2007 12:52 pm Title: The Line

I have to admit this chapter makes me more sympathetic to Jim, but more Karen fallout in ch4 please!  She still deserves to really  say her piece.

Reviewer: jinx Signed 8 [Report This]
Date: June 01, 2007 10:20 pm Title: The Line

Thanks for your fresh take on 'the job' aftermath. I'm curious to see how Jim will evolve.

Reviewer: staingirl Signed [Report This]
Date: June 01, 2007 09:19 pm Title: The Line

I was so pleased to see you updated!  I think that it's a good sign that Jim is telling Pam about the changes he wants to make; it makes all the difference between running away and taking a step forward.  I would love to see him end up with Karen, but this interaction between Jim and Pam restored a bit of my faith in the both of them, and I could see myself wishing them well by the time you're through with them.

Also?  "[O]r is he just a flailing man-child" made me giggle out loud.

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