Date: November 19, 2007 06:17 pm Title: 6:22 AM
Oh wow. This was such a treat -- I'm sitting here grinning like an idiot (seriously -- god forbid my husband should wander in here; I must look like a crazed woman).
The "love scene" you write here is absolutely perfect -- love the slow and languid feel you build; your prose flows like poetry at times...melodic and lulling and almost mesmerizing. Love it.
And I love this glimpse of them -- it's almost outrageously idealistic and romantic, yet it seems so incredibly believable. How could it not be like this for the two of them, once the walls are down and nothing's left unsaid anymore?
This has been such a joy to read, and I'm so looking forward to the rest. ...As for this waking up the part of you "that's been asleep for a long, long time" -- I think I know what you mean there, and all I can say is that you should take this newfound awakening and run with it, because you're so talented and so obviously in your element here.
Again I say: Brav-o. :o)
Date: November 19, 2007 06:11 pm Title: 10:45 PM
My god. (I'm frustrated at the way words seem to just escape me as I finish each chapter -- I suppose not breathing'll do that to you.)
All right, maybe it's selfish of me to say, but in the interest of honesty.... It's so gratifying to see someone take Jim this dark; I wrote him as sort of teetering on the edge of this a few times (right down to the very visceral physical response he had -- the barfing, LOL), and I always felt incredibly self-conscious about it.
I think it really works here; god, his shame and regret and fear are all so palpable and heartbreaking. And what an intriguing Pam this is -- and, I suspect, a fairly accurate rendering of her.
Yet again -- should write more, just can't because I know there's another chapter.... :o)
This is really incredible -- thank you!
Date: November 19, 2007 06:02 pm Title: 9:40 AM
So could you add to the list of side effects of your fics (alongside "breathlessness") "blurred vision"? Totally teary-eyed right now.
Again: Fics that explore the dark side of their relationship intrigue me, because I really think it was very much *there*, and I think that if Jim hadn't transferred, it would've bubbled over.
And you know, you were brave to write a sex scene between them (their first time, no less!) this raw and almost brutal. It works (IMO) because I get the sense that its fueled by desperation -- on both their parts. And my god, Jim's reaction afterward -- the apology, the shame -- just heartbreaking. Because I could so see it going down like this, and I could absolutely believe he'd react that way.
The ending was particularly touching, Pam -- for once -- rescuing *him.*
Really a compelling fic here, Ms. Shassafrass. :o)
Date: November 19, 2007 05:56 pm Title: 9:20 AM
Wow. (Again with the not breathing -- a good thing, BTW.)
For the sake of honesty: I didn't like the slap. That said, god knows (as a fellow writer), I've had plenty of people tell me in reviews that they didn't like the way I handled something, and when it comes down to it, we're all entitled to our own opinions...just as we're entitled to write our stories the way we see fit! :o) (Read: That's just my proverbial humble opinion.)
That said: This was breathtaking, yet again, in its honesty; we've never seen them as raw and...bare as they are here. Personally, I think it'd have done them some good to get to this place -- to just saying it all. There's so much hurt between them, and the kinds of things they leave unsaid don't just fade away.
I think Jim's response to her confession here ("What the hell do I do with that?") is pitch perfect.
Wow. Off to the next chapter (and note to self: Take a big breath before you start reading). :o)
Date: November 19, 2007 05:50 pm Title: 8:55 AM
I've never been so glad to re-read a chapter in my life. ;O)
This was so intense -- raw and honest. I think there's just so much to be explored between these two with regard to the things left unsaid. It's funny, because during season 3, it seemed that a lot of people were either for Jim or for Pam -- and really, I was always for both of them, could see both their points of view. I think that's what's so brilliant about these two characters and what the writers did with them -- they're human, and they're both guilty of being horribly careless, but in different ways. Yet it was all out of fear, and that's understandable.
This chapter was just breathtaking.
Date: November 19, 2007 05:46 pm Title: 8:32 AM
Hear that? Yeah, that's the sound of me exhaling for the first time since re-reading this chapter.
Wow. So intense and so real -- I love this. I'm intrigued by the darker side of things, by the thought that before he transferred, Jim was likely hanging on by a thread.
I should say more -- this chapter is certainly deserving of my saying more -- but I'm sorry; I gotta get to the next one. :o)
This is amazing, by the way!
Date: November 19, 2007 07:24 am Title: 6:22 AM
oooh. i love this feisty, confident Pam. not only is she unafraid of what she wants, but she takes confident strides (as opposed to baby steps or giant leaps) to get there. your portrayal of Jim as the unassuming, sensitive but still very dominant and very masculine contrast to Pam...is excellent :) i'd love to see more in their story!
Date: November 18, 2007 07:46 pm Title: 6:22 AM
Ahhhhh! Satisfied JAM, who could want more. I liked how tortured this story was from Jim's perspective. I love me some aggressive Pam, but i really like the tortured Jim, aggressive Pam combo. This story was just ughhhh. So what I wanted to be reading. This last chapter was very visually artistic. I could very much picture the actions you were describing. I think your writing in general is very visually descriptive, but this chapter hit it in particular. Well done.
Date: November 18, 2007 03:25 pm Title: 9:40 AM
How do you do it? How do you write this angsty,angry, outdoors in the rain hot sex interspersed with such gems as "Her eyes, as open and as unblinking as a hunting trophy, look into me, and they find…everything." and "I fall out of her with all the grace of a raw sausage falling off a table..."
Date: November 18, 2007 03:18 pm Title: 9:20 AM
I imagine the only thing worse than having your heart ripped to shreds by the one you love in a ladies room is having all of your coworkers evesdropping at the door. And Jim's "Show's over, folks" as he left was just so perfectly sad.
Date: November 18, 2007 03:08 pm Title: 8:55 AM
“Wait just a fucking minute!” It’s my turn. “You KNEW! You KNEW and you—and you LIKED IT!” I feel a sob rip my chest in half. “Do YOU have any idea what it’s been like for ME?! My God! I can’t even think straight! I can’t turn around without seeing your FACE! And you’ve been pretending to not see it! How SELFISH is that?!”
I agree with Jim, how can she be angry at him? I'm so glad he got to speak his
piece peace mind.
Date: November 18, 2007 07:36 am Title: 8:15 AM
Thanks for this beautfiul ending, Shass. I was missing this story. "I decide against showering. I want to carry her smell with me for as long as I can get away with it"--wow...what a fantastic line. Absolute perfection.
Date: November 18, 2007 07:27 am Title: 6:22 AM
You don't know that one of my earliest thoughts upon waking this morning was "what happened to Earlier? Did that ever get finished- I need to check" and then WHAM! There it is. Thanks for this story- I thoroughly enjoyed it.
I also really liked this Pam. I think the "Earlier" title applies for her as well... because it depicts a more S4 Pam: unafraid take charge Pam without the gut wrenching 'growth' of S3. So, it's not out of character at all, just ..."earlier"!