I just found this story and I have to say it is written really well. I think you captured Ryan and Karen's personalities perfectly. With Karen's tomboyishness and Ryan's passive attitude. This is also a great look into Ryan's past and why he is how he is. 

I also love the contrast between Ryan and Karen's personalities like this line:

She hates the resignation in his voice. Quitters piss her off, and he looks so pathetic, like he doesn't even care enough to stand up for himself.