Date: January 17, 2008 01:12 pm Title: Breathe
this was beautiful. really :) great job
Author's Response: Thanks very much!
Date: January 17, 2008 05:27 am Title: Breathe
Very nice. The show makes much of being set in a specific location, with 'native' characters, so I like the idea of going beyond simply using the real name of a local pizza joint or bar. Also - the idea of Pam speaking fluent 'Jim' is perfectly put - she knows the code - long explications are unnecessary. Something else I liked about this idea - by confiding his family history, and letting her comfort him about its legacy, he's in a (positive) way making her part of it. And that's a connection beyond dates and rings and private jokes.
Author's Response: Thank you for putting into words that connection with Jim's family. Yes, I was trying to get at that, in a not very effective way. As you say, by letting her in on a family tragedy, he lets her further into his life. That's the kind of intimacy that I see between Pam and Jim. Colette, as always, you bring so much to a review! Thank you so very much.
Date: January 16, 2008 07:22 pm Title: Breathe
When I was doing research for "Chesterfields and Lace" I came across a small mine collapse in the 1950's..Roy is a coal miner in that story but I couldn't bring myself to mention it...the whole thing terrified me.
I'm glad you were brave and wrote something that was romantic and bittersweet but touching on a history shared by so many people in the northeast. Awesome job.
Author's Response: Yeah, it's pretty sad stuff. Wasn't sure it was appropriate for a fanfic based on a comedy show, so I sat on it for awhile, but in the end I decided to go with it. I'm glad it came across well. Thanks for reading!
Date: January 16, 2008 07:17 pm Title: Breathe
Wow. That was great. Sad history...I didn't even know about it. Thanks for sharing it!
Author's Response: You're welcome. I'm glad you liked the story.
Date: January 16, 2008 08:42 am Title: Breathe
This was very hauting and sweet at the same time. I really got the impression that Pam understood Jim's fears in a way that was real and true to both of them. Her compassion stood out. This story was made all the more poignant by your author's notes. So thank you for that.
Author's Response: Thanks, BBG. I'm glad the author's notes didn't detract from the story. I appreciate your feedback!
Date: January 16, 2008 06:59 am Title: Breathe
This is lovely. That Jim is still haunted but Pam can ease him with a touch and the right words seems exactly right for the evolution of their relationship. The juxtaposition of warmth and cold is perfectly done.
Author's Response: Haunted. Good choice of words, nqllisi. Thanks for reviewing!
Date: January 16, 2008 06:32 am Title: Breathe
That was a beautiful story, NEJ, both as a tribute to the miners, and to the emotional intimacy between our couple. I love how you conveyed how well Pam knows him, and how Jim doesn't need to fear being vulnerable with her. Lovely and poignant. Thanks.
Author's Response: Thank you, EH. I was trying to show emotional intimacy between them without having them actually sit down and talk about emotional intimacy, to have it expressed as subtext, if you will. Glad it seemed to work!
10 [Report This]Date: January 16, 2008 06:00 am Title: Breathe
So glad to see this posted; it was good to read again. What struck me about this is you managed to get the tone just right, sort of somber but not melodramatic, and I love your depiction of Pam here, her natural compassion and her connecton to Jim. Well done.
Author's Response: Thank you for beta-ing it! Your comments helped me refine it. I am glad you liked the final version!
10 [Report This]Date: January 16, 2008 05:58 am Title: Breathe
So beautifully written.
Author's Response: Thank you! Very kind of you to say that, NanReg.
Date: January 16, 2008 04:23 am Title: Breathe
this was.... spectacular! i love how it honored the victims of that terrible disaster. I also love how Jim/Pamish it was! it fit them perfectly.
Author's Response: Thanks, flonkertonxx! (Love your nick.) I'm glad you thought it sounded like Jim and Pam.
Date: January 16, 2008 03:32 am Title: Breathe
That was very nicely done. Beautifully modulated and paced giving me a real sense of time and place. A very fresh take on showing us how Jim and Pam truly "get" one another...how they truly love one another. And a very respectful tribute to the memory of the victims of a horrendous tragedy. Again, well done!
Author's Response: Thanks, Mr. Bill. I always love exploring that unspoken connection between Jim and Pam. Also glad you found this to be a respectful tribute.
8 [Report This]Date: January 15, 2008 06:43 pm Title: Breathe
This was incredible, NEJ. From a Pam and Jim perspective, it was lovely that he was able to share that with her and what had been a bad dream was able to bring them even closer. From one who loves history, does genealogy with a passion and feels extremely connected to my ancestors, it truly brought tears to my eyes to read his GGG-GF's thoughts as you wrote them, especially when he was holding his son as they died. I appreciated your authors notes about the fathers and sons who were found holding each other in one last embrace. A beautiful story and a very sad and tragic disaster. And I'm going to check out the link you provided. Oh - and welcome back! It's been a while since I've seen anything from you!!
Author's Response: I'm glad you enjoyed this, kaystar. I love history and genealogy, too. I actually stumbled across the mine story when I was researching "Dunderheads". It finally resolved itself into a tale, which I hoped would show a more serious side to Jim and Pam.
Date: January 15, 2008 06:41 pm Title: Breathe
What a good job incorporating a true story into your story, NEJ.
I especially liked the lines "I was ten before I knew that not every town had a mine in it" and "He remembers that all of his ancestors, and all of hers, all of everyone's, are underground now, that someday she and he will be too, and it's not a morbid thought. It feels like connection, a link to a long line of bones of people who lived and loved and worked, who would be glad to know their line survives in him."
You really get across the image of coal country and how it's shaped them a bit.
Author's Response: Thanks, TLK. I wasn't sure if this would be perceived as a "downer" of a story; I don't want to be insensitive about a tragedy. I wanted to show how the echoes of something so painful can still be heard generations later, and can affect even someone as sunnily optimistic as Jim Halpert. At any rate, I'm glad you liked it. :)