Date: April 30, 2008 07:24 pm Title: Sex in Awkward Places
I was curious about what nose and ear sex were so I googled it. Brave I know. I must say that I'm a little less disturbed about what nose sex entails (if I go by the urban dictionary's definition). But completely horrified about ear sex, I don't even like water to get in my ear! On the plus side I found out that sex can cure a runny nose! Ahh, the internet has such a wealth of knowledge.
So I'm really enjoying this story, mostly because I'm a little disturbed by it, but also because it makes me laugh out loud and then recoil in horror. Well done! I look forward to more.
Author's Response: Yeah, don't google things like that. It'll only serve to scare you.
Date: April 30, 2008 06:39 pm Title: She Likes the Sex in the Beet Fields
This is hilarious and disturbing. I somehow feel bad for Andy, Angela, and Dwight. But I like how Andy is slowly winning her over. And I love this line:
"You know, Bernard," Dwight says, "that some people think her cookies are better."
No one notices Angela turn white. Whiter.
"Yeah, I really don't really care that much for Angela's cookies," Andy replies, washing down his brownie with a tall glass of lukewarm milk. "A little bit dry and bland."
Angela is incensed into albinism. Dwight smiles. Just a little bit.
Author's Response: I feel bad for all of them too. I think the only solution to their problem is a threesome.
Date: April 30, 2008 12:27 am Title: She Likes the Sex in the Beet Fields
Angela is incensed into albinism. Hah.
This continues to be odd and silly. It's a good thing I like odd and silly. I love Angela's idea of role-playing.
I hope your hockey team starts winning and your friend stops drinking. I also hope that your friend with a drinking problem isn't like Ryan's friend with a drug problem.
Author's Response:
Actually, my team was eliminated in 4 straight in the first round. So this is my backup team, which is now down 3-1.
My drinking problem is that I can't afford alcohol. But actually it is my friend and not Ryan's friend that has the problem, but she's getting better. It was mostly symptomatic of other problems of hers and now that she's solving those she's been a lot more stable. Thanks.
Date: April 08, 2008 09:07 am Title: Sex in Awkward Places
My favorite lines...
Then he went to see if he was peeing blood.
It was scary, but not unhot.
Shave and a hair cut, two bits. Andy.
Question: When Angela said she almost peed, did you mean to have Andy say "Also possibly unhot"? Because I think it's definitely unhot, but maybe Andy thinks it's possibly hot. The wording just confused me a bit.
Ear sex. Sounds unsatisfying to all involved. Nose sex sounds worse. Up until that part, I liked this chapter better than the first.
And you thought my Easter at Schrute Farms thing was weird. :) What will be next? (Well, I guess that nose sex.)
I'll be reading.
Author's Response:
Oh come on! Of course ear sex is unsatisfying - that was the whole point of the Family Guy episode I stole it from. Well, actually the point was exposing the senselessness of abstinence only sex education. But either way it sounded like something an uptight chick like Angela would do instead of actual sex. And the nose sex was an in-joke that wasn't meant to be actually funny or sensible on its own. Also, watch for an Angela talking head about that in the next chapter.
To answer your question, Dwight, Andy thinks it's possibly hot, hence 'not unhot' which is something that a creepy guy like Andy would say. There's a whole genre of porn involving defecating, and while to sane people like us it is entirely disturbing, I guess some guys are turned on by it. Shudder.
Your Easter at Schrute Farms thing was weird. It was also awesome and a very tightly written story at that.
Date: April 08, 2008 08:59 am Title: Deprived and Depraved
Alex Wert! I happen to think they should bring those bathing suits back. I'd rock that look. ;)
I'm not sure I needed Andy's right buttock scratching. This story is certainly interesting so far.
Angela's mother's advice: The only dating advice my mother ever gave me was that if a boy tries to touch my bathing suit areas, go limp. Probably not the best way to get him to stop touching, but...I guess at least Angela's mom was trying.
I have no idea where you're going from here. I also have no idea (in your story or on the show) why Andy is even bothering going after Angela. There have to be looser chicks around. Like nuns, for instance.
I'm going to try to be better about reading stories sooner. We'll see how that goes. :) Also, I'm glad you still exist.
Author's Response:
TLK, you'd rock any look.
You might not have needed Andy's right buttock scratching, but I certainly did. And Angela's mother's advice may not have been about getting the boy to stop touching, but possibly her thoughts on what 'relations' was supposed to be like. Missionaries don't know a lot of positions. (This advice is not original. In Andy's words: "I stole it" from a show no one outside of Canada will ever see.)
Andy is bothering to go after Angela because she has a tight ass. He's also possibly masochistic.
I'm glad I still exist too.
Date: March 19, 2008 12:31 am Title: Deprived and Depraved
Andy and Angela spending quality nuts-to-butts time is cool, but only if it's just a lead in for Jim/Pam gentle pink-pony rainbow lovemaking. I hope in your absence you haven't forgotten the rules.
Oh and welcome back. Perv.
Author's Response: Since when did I ever care about the rules? Thanks TK, it's good to be contributing again (to everyone's horror).
Date: March 16, 2008 10:15 pm Title: Deprived and Depraved
...
... ...
Hmm. Well, it made me giggle, and that's all that matters really. I adored the convo between them about the 1900 era bathing suit. And I love that he had to look it up on Wikipedia. And I loved the reference to Andy's old dominatrix friend and his little smile as he's touching his butt. Hee. I look forward to the next chapters? Yes... yes I think I do.
Author's Response:
I had to look it up on Wikipedia. Actually, Wikipedia wasn't that useful and I ended up just doing a Google search.
I imagine that there were whips involved with Andy's dom friend. If I really wanted to know I'd ask Team Karen, but I don't want to know, so I won't.
Date: March 16, 2008 06:39 pm Title: Deprived and Depraved
Okay, I'll admit it, I posted a fake review. I had only read half the story when I posted. But that last bit, literally priceless.
"You were warned."
Author's Response: I'm glad I never got my teeth broken like that. ::shifty eyes::
Date: March 16, 2008 06:33 pm Title: Deprived and Depraved
OH MY GOD! </Best Dundies ever, Pam>
About DAMN time! omg.. I can't wait till the next stories.. OH, and I know HOW much more terrifying they'll be.. I just want to see which way you'll go with them.
Glad to have you back writing for us ::salute::
Giggle Factory.
Date: March 15, 2008 09:09 pm Title: Deprived and Depraved
WERT! Glad to see that you're still, well, you.
This was freaking hilarious! Andy getting ready to make a celebratory gesture (of course) and Angela not being allowed to drink Kool-Aid as a child. It explains a lot.
Author's Response:
I think the Kool-Aid thing is why she doesn't like Kevin so much.
I'm not sure why you're glad to see that I'm still me. The world would be a much better place if I were someone else.