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Reviewer: Shawnie Signed 7 [Report This]
Date: March 24, 2007 08:14 am Title: Chapter 1

I disagree w/ the other reviewers; do we know Ryan well enough to say how he would act?  He can be an ass at times.  I thought Kelly seemed very in character.  I liked this, and it answers the question everyone has; why the heck does Ryan stay w/her??

Reviewer: dolcianiblows Signed [Report This]
Date: September 23, 2006 05:44 pm Title: Chapter 1

I agree with nomadshan; the characterization is WAY off. If you're aiming for this to be an AU piece, then I would mark it as AU. If not, I would suggest finding a beta reader.

Reviewer: nomadshan Signed [Report This]
Date: September 16, 2006 03:03 pm Title: Chapter 1

But now, where is that stupid slutty Kelly? Ryan thought.

Even with how you've set up the story so far, that line is incredibly out of character.

Consider looking up authors of other Ryan/Kelly stories here, or at ff.net or Live Journal, and asking one to beta your story for characterization.

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