You must login (register) to review or leave jellybeans
Reviewer: lisahoo Signed [Report This]
Date: December 14, 2008 06:27 pm Title: But Not Forgotten: Jim, Karen

Oh, Jim.  None of those exotic dishes for you.  Stick to ham & cheese.  And mixed berry yogurt.

Author's Response: He just won't learn, will he? ;)

Reviewer: NanReg Signed [Report This]
Date: December 14, 2008 04:53 pm Title: But Not Forgotten: Jim, Karen

I love updates to this story. 

 “Maybe you should call her,” she says, and he can tell it hurts her to say it. Oooo...hurts to read it, too (in a good way, of course). 

And this:  “So, going for the old stand-by then?” she asks, smirking. Poor Jim.  And poor Karen.  I certainly don't toss that one around.  In fact, it might be a first. 

I hope Dorothy continues to provide you with inspiration :)



Author's Response: I'm glad you're sticking with me (and enjoying it). :) I try to make Karen as real as possible because we never really found out who she was on the show. She might as well have just come onscreen and said, "Oh, hi. I'm Temporary Roadblock, or you can call me Speedbump." I try to see beyond Speedbumpery, haha.

And I think Dorothy's got me covered, thankfully. :)

Reviewer: JAMtastic Signed [Report This]
Date: December 14, 2008 01:34 pm Title: But Not Forgotten: Jim, Karen

I have so enjoyed each of these chapters.  I love the angst and glimpse into their thoughts at different points. The poems/parts of poems are so appropriate.  Are you using poems from one Dorothy Parker book or several?  I'd love to know your recommendations!



Author's Response: Thank you. :) Glad you liked it. I would recommend The Portable Dorothy Parker - it's a collection of her writings (lots of poetry). I love it. You can also find a lot of her poems online at poemhunter.com.

Reviewer: jazzfan Signed [Report This]
Date: December 01, 2008 07:14 am Title: A Very Short Song: Pam

I'm still enjoying these very much, please keep them coming - can't wait to see which one is next.
In this poem, I always thought that the person felt worse about breaking the other person's heart than having their own heart broken. Pam seems a lot sorrier for herself in this story than she does for Jim at this point, but then, if only she knew how he really felt.

Author's Response: Glad you're liking it. I always thought it was... odd? unusual? (or something) how they are so in sync but can misunderstand each at the same time.

Reviewer: NanReg Signed [Report This]
Date: November 28, 2008 03:31 pm Title: A Very Short Song: Pam

You may not know how you feel about this, carbondalien, but I know that I love it, angst and all.  The part about the lipgloss kills me, just envisioning poor Pam making her selection only to feel that it just didn't matter. 

 She moved the kettle to a cool burner so that the whistling would stop and she wouldn't have to hear anymore. The last words trapped in the kettle escaped as wisps of steam and disappeared into the air. Love that.  Such a great image.

I could go on but I'll spare you the rambling.  Suffice it to say that this was a great read.



Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it. I haven't gone back to read it and see how I feel about now, but maybe I'll do that.

Reviewer: Vampiric Blood Signed [Report This]
Date: November 25, 2008 04:48 pm Title: News Item: Jim/Pam

I'm feeling dopey.  I've reread this about four times and I don't understand what Jim means by this:

 "That's how you look ridiculous in those glasses. You, however, with or without the glasses, look beautiful."



Author's Response: Jim put her glasses on then took a picture of himself on his phone for her to look at once she had the glasses back on (since she obviously wouldn't be able to see him without wearing her glasses), then he was telling her that he looked silly in the glasses, not her.

Reviewer: jazzfan Signed [Report This]
Date: November 24, 2008 10:32 pm Title: News Item: Jim/Pam

Another nice job, perfect poem.

Jim's giving Pam just what she needs, confidence.

Author's Response: Thank you. :) Pam may be Fancy New Beesly but there's still that little bit of insecurity there.

Reviewer: NanReg Signed [Report This]
Date: November 24, 2008 12:19 pm Title: News Item: Jim/Pam

This little bit of fluff was just what I needed today, carbondalien. 

"Settle down there, Mr. Magoo," he says playfully and reaches out to hold her hand. "I wouldn't call what you were doing reading."   Adorable. 

 



Author's Response: I'm glad you liked the fluff. It's a little tough getting another fluffy out of DP's poems haha. The next piece is another trip to angst town, so I thought I'd put this up.

Reviewer: Sea Legs Signed [Report This]
Date: November 24, 2008 11:47 am Title: News Item: Jim/Pam

I love this. I like that Jim gives confidence to just stop being worried about what other peeps feel about her.

Author's Response: Glad you liked it. :)

Reviewer: Vampiric Blood Signed [Report This]
Date: November 02, 2008 08:23 pm Title: After Spanish Proverb: Jim

No time to give a proper review tonight but I did want to let you know I read Jim's chapter and enjoyed it, as always.

This was definitely the line with the most pathos for me:

He gingerly removes the necklace from around the lamp and slips it over his head. It doesn't feel the same as it did that day. He doesn't feel like a winner.



Author's Response: Thank you. :) I'm glad you're liking these.

Reviewer: jazzfan Signed [Report This]
Date: November 02, 2008 08:52 am Title: Unfortunate Coincidence: Jim/Karen

Therapy writing is the best kind, I hope it's working for you because I think your readers are sure getting a treat.

I literally fliched when he crumpled the papers:

He picks up the health care form and reads the words, but he can't find that laughter again. This is the most he's ever felt of nothing.

He sighs, crumples up the health care form and tosses it in the trash


Argh, that's good writing.

Author's Response: Thank you. :) I'm glad you liked it. I'll definitely be writing over the next few days. I just need to not be in my brain, if that makes sense.

Reviewer: katiej Signed [Report This]
Date: November 02, 2008 07:03 am Title: After Spanish Proverb: Jim

I'm glad you were in need of some writing therapy--this is by far my favorite one. You captured Jim so well: He gingerly removes the necklace from around the lamp and slips it over his head. It doesn't feel the same as it did that day. He doesn't feel like a winner.

wow.



Author's Response: Writing this did help me a little bit. I'll probably be writing a lot in the next few days. I'm glad you liked it. :)

Reviewer: lisahoo Signed [Report This]
Date: November 01, 2008 08:08 pm Title: Bric-a-Brac: Jim/Pam

Guh.  Does that tell you anything?

Btu seriously, I thought what made Casino Night such a turning point, (or the reason S2 Jim!Angst was easier to take than S3 Pam!Angst, was that in S2, they still pretended there wasn't anything between them.  But Jim 'broke the rules' when he told Pam how he really felt, and S3 was so hard to take because both their hearts were out there on the table.  Ouch.

Nicely put, carbondalien. 



Author's Response: Exaaaaactly!

I'm glad you liked this one. :)

Reviewer: Vampiric Blood Signed 10 [Report This]
Date: October 31, 2008 01:01 pm Title: Bric-a-Brac: Jim/Pam

You sure do a lot with not many words!  I love this one too!  Such great metaphors you've woven here with the toys on the shelves.

For some reason, I found the passages where you call Jim a "boy" particularly affecting:

He's never sure of all the rules in this game, but he thinks he might be able to win it someday if he's a very lucky boy.

He is a real boy (who just wants to be her man).



Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it. :) Something within me is always like "This is going to be an epic! 10,000 words, I betcha!" then it just kind of starts writing itself and thankfully another part of me weeds out what doesn't need to be there. I'd rather play with language in a short piece than agonize over something super crazy long. Calling Jim a 'boy' is one of those things that just happened on its own and I liked the tone of it for this.

Reviewer: jazzfan Signed [Report This]
Date: October 31, 2008 06:02 am Title: Bric-a-Brac: Jim/Pam

I started to copy parts I liked and there were too many of them to put in this little space.

Love this, just love it. Please keep writing.

Author's Response: I'm glad you like it. :) More will of course be on the way!

Reviewer: NanReg Signed 10 [Report This]
Date: October 31, 2008 05:59 am Title: Bric-a-Brac: Jim/Pam

So diggin' this fic, carbondalien, and my love of Dorothy Parker is growing, too. 

...but it's in these unguarded "nothing" moments where "everything" starts to take shape. Oh how true.  Love how this poem inspired the game analogies you use here. 

He is a real boy (who just wants to be her man). *sigh*  That just breaks my heart.  I'm sappy that way ; ) 

Excellent job as always. 



Author's Response: Thank you. :) It actually started off as a fluffy idea and then it started writing itself and this happened. Maybe I'm channeling Dorothy haha.

Reviewer: jazzfan Signed [Report This]
Date: October 29, 2008 06:16 am Title: Unfortunate Coincidence: Jim/Karen

Niiiice. /Kev

I especially loved this line:
Even though she's never touched them or felt them on her own, she's memorized every curve of them and knows just that one spot that quirks up first before a smile.

Keep 'em coming.

Author's Response: She just knows him so well (even if she doesn't want to admit it sometimes). Glad you liked it. :)

Reviewer: kaystar Signed 8 [Report This]
Date: October 28, 2008 07:33 pm Title: Second Love: Pam/Roy

Wow. This is my favorite so far - you did an awesome job bringing the story to life to tie in with the poem.

"...but she wonders what the hands on her sketchpad would feel like if they came to life, slid up her body and tangled in the mess of her hair. (She thinks that would be the only electric company she would really need.)"

Wonderful line.



Author's Response: In this one I tried to be more literal with the poem, just to see how it would turn out. Glad you thought it was a success. :)

Reviewer: kaystar Signed 8 [Report This]
Date: October 28, 2008 07:23 pm Title: Interior: Pam

Another great poem, another great chapter.

"I can't marry him," Pam chokes out between sobs. "He isn't... I don't... I can't! I can't."

I like the different spin you put on Pam's "I can't."

 



Author's Response: Thank you. :) I always try to find a way to play with words/lines if I can.

Reviewer: kaystar Signed 8 [Report This]
Date: October 28, 2008 07:14 pm Title: Unfortunate Coincidence: Jim/Karen

I've never read Dorothy Parker and I really liked the poem you quoted here - both as a stand alone and as a great tie-in to this story.  I enjoyed Jim's knee-jerk reaction to her admission - spilling lo mein on the floor.

Author's Response: I'm glad I'm exposing people to Dorothy Parker. If she were still alive, I'd probably be her stalker haha. I'm glad you enjoyed it. :)

Reviewer: lisahoo Signed [Report This]
Date: October 27, 2008 08:52 pm Title: Unfortunate Coincidence: Jim/Karen

Ouch -- you captured the 'not quite enough' aspect of Jim/Karen wonderfully here.


Author's Response: Thank you. Glad you liked it. It's always been obvious that they were always missing a few pieces.

Reviewer: NanReg Signed 10 [Report This]
Date: October 27, 2008 01:12 pm Title: Second Love: Pam/Roy

I really enjoyed this, carbondalien.  The poem was so perfectly suited to this scenario. 

They're the hands of her Monday through Friday man...  Her "Monday through Friday man"--how perfect.  LOOOOOVE that.

...she's memorized every curve of them and knows just that one spot that quirks up first before a smile. How thrilling!  I wonder if she recognizes that spot on Roy.  If she ever has, I suspect she's forgotten.

She feels a bit of guilt rise in her stomach, so she closes her eyes and reaches across the table to give him a quick kiss. Oh, Pam.  Such an easy way out ; ) 

These are the lips she knows intimately, but they aren't the ones she's kissing. Naughty girl.

 



Author's Response: I'm really glad you're enjoying these. Thanks for the support! :)

Reviewer: Vampiric Blood Signed 10 [Report This]
Date: October 27, 2008 01:00 pm Title: Second Love: Pam/Roy

This is WONDERFUL!!  You have done a beautiful job of melding your vignette with the poem.  And what a great phrase: her Monday through Friday man.

I love that you've chosen NOT to write your vignette as a bed/sex scene but at the breakfast table with Pam's drawing Jim's hands and lips from memory.  How wistfully she brushes her fingers over the drawings and wonders how it would be do touch him for real.  I also like how simply you present Roy's being "tolerant in his security" by laughing off the fact that Pam wasn't listening.

I haven't read Dorothy Parker's poems, but I'm sure hoping there are a LOT of 'em!



Author's Response: Dorothy Parker has about a bazillion poems and I've gone through to select the ones that inspire me in the Office way. And I've still got plenty left! :) I'm glad you're enjoying this. It never even occurred to me to make this an in-bed sort of scene - I just think it's more interesting to find something deeper in the moments that seem so simple (but may not be).

Reviewer: nandance Signed [Report This]
Date: October 08, 2008 05:05 pm Title: Unfortunate Coincidence: Jim/Karen

Wow, what a perfect poem for this situation. I really like what you've done here, can't wait to see it continue!

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it. :) I was surprised by how many Dorothy Parker poems actually fit in with Office scenarios.

Reviewer: WhatAWaste Signed 9 [Report This]
Date: October 07, 2008 12:51 pm Title: Unfortunate Coincidence: Jim/Karen

I'm really enjoying this and looking forward to seeing it continue. I like how you describe a night for Jim and Karen and give some background on her. I can definitely see this happening. Her interest in him, his hesitation... just great. Got anything on the quick and thankfully short reunion of Pam and Roy?

Author's Response: Something about the Pam/Roy reunion will probably pop up. Poems and ideas are swirling around in my brain as we speak. I'm glad you liked it. :)

You must login (register) to review or leave jellybeans