Reviews For The 4th Wall
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Reviewer: Aivilo Signed [Report This]
Date: March 17, 2011 09:54 am Title: There ain't no use in lying

No joke! This chapter really did fly by!

The tension Pam was feeling Friday at the office was so well written and true to life. From her worries of what her place was gonna look like, to more so, what she would look like to Jim, it was all so real! My favorite part of the office scenes from this chapter was when Pam decided she wouldn't suffer the anxiety on her own and she daringly sent Jim a text so he could have some pressure to deal with as well.

That said, I am so nervous, and there is a part of me that suspects that Mean Nick may know that the producer and receptionist have a relationship beyond what would be considered appropriate.... But then again, I could just be slightly paranoid.

I loved them at Pam's home. Jim was perfect, cooking her dinner and really just making sure that she was comfortable. All that pressure-free sweetness just about guaranteed him some action at some point during the weekend!!!

I may have cheered aloud when he initiated plans for the two of them for after filming. And meeting the parents, no less! I felt just like Pam, scary month of May might become the best month the calendar has to offer!

Author's Response: I could have sworn that I responded to this but alas there's nothing here. I've always loved Daring! Pam. Those moments when she surprises everyone are some of my favorites. Your paranoia might be onto something! Might be... All will be revealed about Mean Nick in an upcoming chapter very soon.

Reviewer: NanReg Signed [Report This]
Date: March 17, 2011 07:51 am Title: There ain't no use in lying

Fact:  This crazy long chapter went by in the blink of an eye.  Great pacing.  I think that’s partially due to the manner in which you chose to cover the consummation of their relationship.  You know I’m a big fan of smut, but detailed sex scenes don’t always work.  Know what I mean?  The details in this story are enough to convey their increasing level or intimacy and comfort, their willingness to spill secrets and reveal themselves to each other, but not so much as to bog the story down.  Having said that, please feel free to get down and dirty in future chapter(s) :D    

 

I thought this little interlude was so funny and in character:  “Whatcha got there, Ducer?” Andy said, taking a peek over Jim’s shoulder..He immediately shoved his phone back into his pocket. “Doocer?”…“It’s more like Due-cer. Short for producer.” Andy was lingering, and it was evident that he wanted something.  Very Andy :D 

 

This is lovely:   “I’m yours,” he said reassuringly….It was the first time he had said that and she imagined the feeling it evoked inside of her was similar to what the first I love you would feel like.  And this:  …they had gotten so good at pretending that this very real relationship wasn’t real ... 

 

This is what I was talking about at the beginning of my review.  In this little paragraph, you paint a beautifully intimate scene:  He had never done this in a kitchen in the middle of the day. Never felt so complete with anyone else wrapped around him. He had never had sex and felt like uttering the words “I love you” to the person so she would know this was more than a fuck. That this was him offering all of himself to her.  *sigh*  All kinds of swoony ;)  The fact that they’re on the same page makes it all the better. 

 

Needless to say, I can’t wait for more.



Author's Response: Thanks NanReg! I will get down and dirty eventually! We're still a few chapter off though. This chapter took a lot to write, and it means so much that you liked the specific pieces that I loved the most too.

Reviewer: iwantphillyjim Signed [Report This]
Date: March 17, 2011 04:10 am Title: There ain't no use in lying

Very nice. Sexy stuff here lady, well done and sweet too. I'm nervous about May, but you have never steered me wrong. Toasting to you and waiting anxiously for the next chapter.

Author's Response: Thanks! I promise this won't go anywhere extremely sad... without coming back...

Reviewer: BluetimesTwo Signed 10 [Report This]
Date: March 15, 2011 03:16 pm Title: Brave New Girl

I read this the day you posted it, but couldn't review because I was on my phone. Anyway, that was very hot. Well done!

Author's Response: Thanks for taking the time to come back and review. Very awesome. :)

Reviewer: ftmill16 Signed 10 [Report This]
Date: March 14, 2011 03:15 pm Title: Brave New Girl

OK... this just gets better with each chapter! I really and truly adore how you start this out with them just talking to each other on the phone telling about their families, getting to know each other better. The fac that Jim has talked to his mom about Pam enough for his mom to inquire as to if he's in love with her, well it sounds like his mom is totally tuned in to how her son is feeling and maybe she even knows it's love before Jim is willing to admit it even to himself.

You did a fantastic job of transitioning this talking on the phone, getting to know each other into first Pam suspecting that he just might be doing 'things' and then into them talking about if they have had phone sex or more generally if they do 'that.' I laughed out loud at the line where Jim said something like, I'm a guy. I'd do it all day if I could! What I really love about him saying that is how candid and honest he was. Oh wait.. I love that before this went any further they made plans to get together for real, outside the office. It was great how you had them kinda questioning each phrase, wondering if it meant what was actually being said or if it was like code for something sexual. Hilarious and I think pretty n character for Jim and Pam. Anyhow... I thought easing them into phone sex, especially with the weekend that they will spend together coming up, was really pretty brilliant. It allows them to gain lttle bits of knowledge of the other person and it REALLY builds up sexual tension! It was pretty adorable how they would at various points, well, before things were too far, offer, we don't have to do this or do you want to hang up... it was cear they were each wanting this and I felt it really showed how they are totally feeling the chemistry with each other and the sexual stuff is building up and they kinda wanted a way to relieve it with each other. I though you dd a fabulous job with what was said and done without making it real graphic or too unreal to the people that Jim and Pam are and the fact that they ARE still getting to know one another.

Finally, the ending was also so strong. I love how she tells him he makes her feel brave but he turns it around telling her that she does that all on her own and giving her examples of how. Such a great chapter. Sorry that my review is shorter (I kow... sooo disappointing ) but I'm not really feeling up to par. Give you a bit of a break here! I cannot wait for the next chapter and the fact that it may be coming quickly is way exciting. I can't wait for more in office stuff but I REALLY can't wait to read about their weekend together.

Author's Response: Thanks, ftmill16. I was so nervous about this chapter but it was the first idea after many tries that I was able to write straight through. I think we're still a few chapters off from more than a few lines about being in the office. But weekend stuff is coming up! I'm working on it right now. Hope you feel better soon!

Reviewer: NanReg Signed [Report This]
Date: March 14, 2011 06:02 am Title: Brave New Girl

::claps wildly::  That was fantastic!  If Jim and Pam were to have phone sex, it would be like this.  Seriously.  Once again, you nail the sexy-awkward-cute thing.  "Witnessing" them gaining confidence from each other, both on the same page and so ready to move this relationship forward was brilliant.  This didn't feel like smut for smut's sake, you know?  Nothing gratuitous about it, which, I think, is why it works so well.  I'm giddy with anticipation :D

Author's Response: Aww, thanks! I was hoping that people wouldn't think I was just writing smut for the heck of it. Although that's still fun, I just wanted it to be right.

Reviewer: Aivilo Signed [Report This]
Date: March 14, 2011 04:39 am Title: Brave New Girl

I'm so nervous for them! The fact that Jim's stay in Scranton has an end date as well as the fact that, if people find out about the sneaky relationship he is having with Pam, he could lose his job. And while that may help take care of the end date problem, I'd be sad if it ended that way.

I'm happy they are having a good time together, but I do hope they are being safe!

I love the middle of the night phone call. I loved how Pam was walking the line, sometimes being brave and saying what was on her mind. Jim was so perfect, too his mind turning everything Pam said into something about sex. Funny.

More today!?! Pinky swear?

Author's Response: Oh Aivilo, I've been diligently typing away all day, and yet I've hit a block. But I promise to work on it through the night. Sigh.

Reviewer: Vampiric Blood Signed [Report This]
Date: March 13, 2011 11:53 pm Title: Brave New Girl

Exciting stuff! I did like that, after Pam's little burst of confidence & innuendo, Jim had to get her, uh, started on the actual business at hand. That seemed in character to me.

Oh, and your cylon blew through the chapter too fast. I found a couple of things I missed. (Oops...) I sent you an email with a few more corrections.



Author's Response: Thanks, Vampiric Blood! I didn't want to go all out with them right away. Taking it slow while not taking it slow. If that makes sense...

Reviewer: Hannah_Halpert Signed [Report This]
Date: March 13, 2011 10:13 pm Title: Brave New Girl

That was not too soon at ALL. I laughed SO loud at “Park your car in my garage?”, I think I actually snorted lol. That was brilliant, and I could totally picture Jim's face as she said it.
The way he talked her through what he wanted her to do - that was hot. And just the way he gives her the confidence to be sexy Pam. Love this so much!!!

Author's Response: Yes! A snort! So, so, so happy that you loved it.

Reviewer: OfficeKristin Signed [Report This]
Date: March 13, 2011 07:43 pm Title: Forget about the office

Loving this! Looking forward to an update :)

Author's Response: Thanks OfficeKristin! Update coming very soon. Done with it, I think. lol. Just waiting to hear if it's totally insane.

Reviewer: Hannah_Halpert Signed [Report This]
Date: March 12, 2011 04:43 pm Title: It's what it looks like

Loved this as usual. Love how Michael knows what Pam smells like LMAO :)

Author's Response: Thanks Hannah! ;)

Reviewer: NanReg Signed 9 [Report This]
Date: March 12, 2011 05:18 am Title: It's what it looks like

This keeps getting better! The hickey and Pam's scent on Jim had me in a tizzy--great details. Their chemistry and the tension are outstanding. Must remember to breath when I read this!
Oh! Can't forget to mention that I adored their interaction as they're about to jump in, about their expectations. I could envision that conversation. It was perfectly in character--sexy, tense, awkward, cute and really just perfect

Author's Response: Thanks NanReg! Yes, please remember to breath! HAHA. I'm so glad that you're enjoying their interaction. We'll focus more on just them next chapter, so more sexy, tense, awkward, and cute coming up.

Reviewer: BluetimesTwo Signed [Report This]
Date: March 12, 2011 04:32 am Title: It's what it looks like

YAY, an update! I loved this. The hickey stuff was great! I loved Meredith's line, "I know a hickey when I see one." That was so Meredith and I could hear her saying that in my head.

Just a question, though, are they only going to interact in the office in the morning or will they eventually start spending time together outside the office?

Author's Response: We will actually get to the out of office stuff next chapter. I just couldn't skip the talk the next morning. It won't be all sneaking around, there will be nice regular couple stuff. :)

Reviewer: Aivilo Signed [Report This]
Date: March 12, 2011 03:52 am Title: It's what it looks like

Oh my goodness, I love it! I'm so happy that they decided that they would just go with it and decide in May how they should proceed. Its funny, in the previous chapters I never even considered the fact that Jim doesn't live there as part of the issue they'd have. Cue uh-oh music...

I really like Pam's style, deny no matter what! Although my go to was always to freak out and call it a spider bite.... She may want to get some coverup to stay in her purse or invest in some scarves, it had gotta be chilly in the office during the day, right...

But a couple of things I got confused over... Why was Mean Nick nice to Pam? And did they have thier end of chapter conversation in the hallway just outside of where all the coworkers were? They got daring quickly if so...

An entire weekend off! I'm so excited for updates! I cannot wait for more sneaky...

Author's Response: Thanks Aivilo! Oh, spider bite. That's a good one! For the confusion stuff, you'll see soon why Mean Nick (as I've now decided to refer to him always. lol) was nice. And yes, they were just right outside in the hallway. So slightly daring, really sloppy. Remember their first kiss was also in a hallway where crew and coworkers were bound to go to eventually.

Reviewer: ftmill16 Signed 10 [Report This]
Date: March 11, 2011 10:44 pm Title: It's what it looks like

YAY!!!! I kept waiting all day Thursday and Friday to see if this story (or the other story I've been following) had an update and just when I was certain I was going to have to suck it up and wait another day, you posted!!!! YAY! I did remind myself that I KNOW that you DO sometime post late so I hadn't given up on you completely. My waiting paid off. I was just especially eager because we had just gotten to that point where things were happening, so I was ready to read about them happening!

SUCH a great chapter. It's great that you picked up with their early morning meeting the very next morning and honestly, I thought the talk they had was extremely realistic. I would think that for Pam, the fact that he was only suppose to be here until May, another 4 months, would weigh heavily on her mind when thinking about what his intentions are, is this a fling? What happens in May, do they just say hey, it's been fun, have a good life? Is there any chance he would want something that would last beyond May? oh and I am SO glad that you had Pam smart (or insecure) enough to ask him about if there was someone waiting for him at home. You can never just assume these things no matter how they seem.

Love that they actually discuss that they probably shouldn't be doing any of this in the office, yet they go on to make out enough that Jim is grasping for skin under her shirt AND he unbeknownst to either of the, give her a hickey! Oh Meredith! She has so little interest in the world around her, especially at the office, yet she watches Pam closely enough to spot the hickey. Then there's Ryan, sory but I've always thought he was a douch! Instantly texting his friend in spte of the fact that he and Kelly witnessed all interaction between Joe and Pam and the he just has to share it for the camera. Thng is, I actually have gotten a curling iron burn and they really can resemble hickeys so it's not really an outlandish claim for Pam to make although it IS the claim that every girl that doesn't want to fess up to having a hickey makes. I don't know what to make of how Nick was about it with Pam. I actually thought that he really believed her. Do you put ice on a hickey? I haven't heard of that. On the other hand you would want to put ice on a burn. I still just love that neither of them knew about it.Oh yeah, I'm also not sure what to make about Nick's comments to Pam about her conversation with Roy. Maybe he's feeling a bit better about the situation with Pam and Jim because Pam DID go on te date and it sounded lke the tape probably showed her having a good time so maybe Nick is trying to be nice and the things he is saying are his way of encouraging her to keep dating.

I wondered where it was all going with the scene with them going after Dwight and Jim ending up riding back with Micheal. I was laughing when Micheal of all people comments on the way Jim smells and then even connects it that Jim and Pam must use the same soap, yet Micheal, being Micheal, simply is clueless and has no idea what he has connected. I have a feeling that Jim and Pam are going to have to both go to non scented soaps/body washes, lotions and no perfume or cologne on workdays or weekends if there are work events to be filmed.

Great chapter! I can't wait to see how they start working out seeing each other outside of the office because lets be honest, while there WAS an accidental hickey that happened in the office this morning, the things they can do outside of the office HAS to be a lot more interesting!

I have to say, I'm just really glad that Jim realized that he needed to take a chance on this and that if the worst were to hapen, there ARE other jobs. I just have this feeling that Jim may be looking for another job either way because I think they are going to find that what they have is a lifetime thing. SO if that is the case, someone will have to move (I think a long distance thing between PA and CA would be impossible and doomed from the start) and since Jim doesn't particularly feel he realy has roots since he moved around most of his life, and Pam is from Scranton, ot at least PA ALL of her life and that's where her life has always been, I just see Jim moving there for her. Just my prediction for down the road. I DO tend to get ahead of myself. I can't wait to see how they work on things and how things happen in the meantime. Also I can't wait to see if/when they discover they actually are in love. I've ALWAYS thought with Jim and Pam it happened really soon after meeting even if one or both was deeply in denial. It will be interesting to see how it all plays out here! Oh and the whole weekend off... you should be able to crank out I'd say a good 10 or so chapters in that time! ROFL

Author's Response: Sorry that you had to wait both days. Okay, where to start... I had to start with the morning. I played with the idea of skipping ahead but I knew it wouldn't be right. Mean Nick will play a bigger role soon. As far as the relocation thing goes it will be for sure a big thing for them. I think you'll like it.

Reviewer: iwantphillyjim Signed [Report This]
Date: March 09, 2011 08:18 pm Title: To ask them why?

Hello my dear, this is going so well, I loved Jim being jealous and that kiss, yes! it was hot. This is very enjoyable and as always, I am a total groupie for your stories. I liked the desperation Jim felt, to risk it anyway and kiss her. Looking forward to more.

Author's Response: Thanks so much! We should email soon. Catch up. Are you going to finish The Treehouse?

Reviewer: Vampiric Blood Signed [Report This]
Date: March 09, 2011 10:46 am Title: Forget about the office

There is an Italian_Food over on the boards. Is that not your account? If it is yours, you can PM. me from there. If not, can you please try to send a message to ascharpf at yahoo dot com... even if it's not the chapter?

BTW, I loved this chapter! I love how effective a plot device you've created with Jim's job. Evening though there isn't a PERSON standing between them, Pam & Jim STILL must hide their feelings from everyone else. At least in your scenario, they can be honest with each other. BUT that inconsistency in stories may lead to some interesting wrinkles.

Author's Response: Different Italian Food. Still waiting on my account to be approved for the boards. I think I'll just have to send you an email from my personal email. My fun fic email seems to not be working. Glad you liked this chapter! Next chapter we'll see how they start to or at least try to work on their stories.

Reviewer: Hannah_Halpert Signed [Report This]
Date: March 08, 2011 10:37 pm Title: To ask them why?

The more you write, the more I fall in love with this story. Jim saying “I can’t do it. I can’t just flirt with you and turn it off like you do.” was just.... really HOT. And him kissing her like that and admitting he liked her, so freaking perfect. Screw work and stuff, stay home and writeeeeeee!

Author's Response: Thank you! More hotness to come. And yes, screw work!

Reviewer: Aivilo Signed [Report This]
Date: March 08, 2011 08:11 pm Title: To ask them why?

I'm screaming! That was awesomely worth the wait! Jealous! Jim is always a favorite of mine and I love that he was so upset with himself for Pam's decision to go out with Ryan's friend, he couldn't even reel it in for the sake of looking professional.

Oh my goodness, I know now the sneaking around is really going to get awesome. Really, though, I have to wait until Thursday or Friday for more? I'm loving this so much, I don't know if I can stand it.

Author's Response: Yes, Aivilo, sadly still Thursday or Friday. I really feel like I'm leaving you guys hanging but the sneaking around will be worth it, I hope. Eek.

Reviewer: Bayjb Signed [Report This]
Date: March 08, 2011 07:36 pm Title: To ask them why?

LOVE this fic! I've been catching up and cannot wait for the next update. I can sense the tension between them!

Author's Response: Thank you, Bayjb! Things will become really fun between these two next chapter! So watch out for that.

Reviewer: CatherineZetaScarn Signed [Report This]
Date: March 08, 2011 02:52 pm Title: To ask them why?

I don't usually review. I kind of just lurk about here reading all the stories, but I would constantly check for an update to this story basically every day... Haha. I made an account just so I could leave a review though! :-) I have to say that I am in love with this story and this chapter just made me so happy! Please never stop writing, what ever it is. You have a real talent for it and thank you for sharing it with us. I can't wait for the next chapter!

Author's Response: Love the name, CatherineZetaScarn! So so funny. And thank you so much for registering to review. That is so great. I will keep writing as long as the ideas keep flowing and you all keep reading.

Reviewer: ftmill16 Signed 10 [Report This]
Date: March 08, 2011 12:06 pm Title: To ask them why?

OMG I was SOOOOO excited to see this update today. You have spoiled me with the quick updates and great stories so I was checking for an update CONSTANTLY! I thought for sure this was going to be another chapter where they didn't connect but OMG did you make this one worth the wait! It made me SOOOOO happy!

At the start of the chapter Pam was exactly where I thought she was going to be mentally after Jim told her they wanted to see her dating, she was doubting herself and everything she had thought was happening between her and Jim. I loved that she felt compelled to go and talk to Roy, ask him what is wrong with her. I love even more that Roy actually gave her a confidence boost, one that was greatly needed after what she felt was, or should I say what she now thought wasn't, going on with Jim. I also love that Roy gives her advice telling her that if a guy doesn't want her, he isn't worth it so she shouldn't waste her time. That's something I think he was only able to do because he HAD actually moved on.

SO next, brilliant move bringing in that part in Ben Franklin where she asks Ryan to set her up with one of his friends. That was aside from Beach Day and the job, that was one of the very few parts of season three that I really liked. I loved on the show how Jim, standing there with the confidence of hiding behind having a girlfriend he doesn't even want, teases Pam about the Ben Franklin guy hitting on her because I think Jim would have felt pretty darn safe that Pam simply isn't going to be into that oddball. So I loved how she turned it around so quick with the , 'Gosh, I need a boyfriend. Hey Ryan, I'm ready to be set up with one of your business school friends. Whenever.' Then she walks out without even looking back at the stunned Jim whose comments just completely backfired on him and he is left standing there, the smug look having been wiped right off of his face and instead he looked to me to be a bit of a mix between panicky and stunned. That right there is why I always thought Jim was simply a jerk in how he took Pam getting back with Roy a week after that. I mean, she just said there in not so many words that she's lonely and she needs someone. Why wouldn't she go back to the one guy that was familiar to her and who had appeared to have cleaned up his act and who kept anging in there and trying as hard as he could to get her back.

Okay, sorry I talked not about your story but about the show. Like I said, it was just a rare season three moment that I really liked so it was awesome that you were able to bring it in to this story but you did what I wished they would have done and that was you basically used that as the catalyst to prompt our Jim, who I think felt relatively safe in that Pam wasn't really interested in dating at this point, it spurred him into action. I have to say, I sure wish he could find a way to get stick in the mud Nick sent back to CA and get someone nicer, more agreeable, to replace him. I mean, the only way anyone higher up would know about Jim and Pam is if a member of the crew found out and told and heck, why do that? Live and let live! Especially if it doesn't apear that he's just trying to get her into bed or something which obviously he isn't. SO, I love how this Jeremy goes in and tells Jim about Pam going down and talking to Roy and then coming up and not only asking Ryan about fixing her up, but actually agreeing to gom out that very night. Jim can no longer just play it safe. It's so great how Jim then immediately decides to interview her which I think is abvious that he doesn't really so much want to interview her for the show, he wants o hear from her just what she is doing and let her see how it makes him feel. I think Jim needed ths because I don't think he really understood that him just flirting around with her and then basically asking her to date for the sake of the show, without presenting the rest of the story, that she didn't have to and that he really REALLY idn't want her to, it was really messing with her mind. I LOVE how he basically decides, if she is going on a date, he's going to be there too. I think the whole time, even if he didn't realize it was his intention, he was going to run interference if things seemed to be going well, which is exactly what he did. Oh, and I was so glad that Jim realized that it just may be worth osing his job because she just may be that something special and he may never get another chance with a relationship like this.

You were brilliant the way you had Jim sitting in the bar, watching, seeing exactly what this guy was doing to loosen her up and I imagine his imagination was working overtime as to what might happen after she got loosened up, and as he is sitting there watching it happen he is chastising himself realizing that he is the one that put this entire thing in motion and that he could have been patient, explained himself fully and worked out a solution to their problem, anything but this. I thought it was great that he immediately intervened when he thought she was getting a bit too comfy and the things that she said when they were intervieing here there at the bar wee PERFECT to let him know just how she was feeling.

I have to say, I totally did not see the next part coming and I think I actually squeeled out loud! When she came out of the bathroom flirty and he told he not to flirt because he couldn't do it like she oes, it was a confident (and a bit intoxicated) Pam that was able to be honest and tell him, hey, it's all on him because after all, HE is the one that told her to date. When he just decided the heck with it and went for it and kissed her I was just SO excited and also ike FINALLY, way to stop dancing around it all and show her how you feel. The second kiss was the cherry on top! Hopefully they won't fall back into classic Jim/Pam miscommunication 101 and can tal about their feelings and how they are going to handle things since this is an extremely touchy situation that has the potential to become explosive.

GREAT job with tis chapter and I'll say, the wait was agonizing but this chapter was worth it. You really are SO extremely talented, I LOVE reading your work SO much! I Love it all but I really love Learing to love again becauseof how much you followed them into the future as they got married and started a family and you also had them start a family at the end of Would you still love me. I LOVE getting those glimpses of what happens after the issues are resolved. Where do they go from there and you have such wonderful talent with telling the story. Thank you for sharing your talent wit us in each of your stories! I will absolutely be on pins and needles waiting for the net chapter!

Author's Response: And you spoil me with long reviews. Glad I could keep you on your toes with the last part. I have something slightly different planned with this story. I don't really want the angst which is normally what I write but I still want to add the drama. And yay for Learning love. I've ironically only read the whole story once while writing it. lol

Reviewer: NanReg Signed [Report This]
Date: March 08, 2011 10:43 am Title: To ask them why?

This chap was thrilling!  So glad things have come to a head and that he finally kissed her!  

 “I can’t do it. I can’t just flirt with you and turn it off like you do”...“I like you,” he said meekly. “More than as a friend.”  The jealously, the frustration--awesome.   



Author's Response: Thanks, NanReg! I felt the same way while writing it and then I remember it's only been a month for him being there. I just can't keep Pam and Jim from kissing anymore.

Reviewer: Aivilo Signed [Report This]
Date: March 06, 2011 11:32 pm Title: The Thrill of It

I really liked the format you used, with the o'clocks. It made for great pacing on the chapter.

Poor Pam, I can imagine her that morning, spending time with Jim, the two of them exchanging banter or flirty conversation, at that point she is feeling good about things because, she is right, friends don't get to work at 6:30am, just to see each other. But as the day wears on, Jim has to be professional and keep his distance, so now, when he comes to her and tells her they want to see her dating, she doubts the time they spend together in the office early in the morning with the lights off.

I guess then I'll feel bad for poor Jim as well, his
morning getting off to the start he likes only to have a wrench tossed in there when his California bosses let him know they want to see the girl he likes dating. I wish he had waited and told her during thier early am rendezvous, this way he could've really explained to her that she should say no and gotten it across to her that he wanted her to say no as well.

Hopefully we will get an update soon and see how this all will play out.

PS- I like it alot when they sneak around, so more of that please!

Author's Response: There will be a lot more sneaking around! And you won't have to feel bad for either for too much longer. :D

Reviewer: Vampiric Blood Signed [Report This]
Date: March 06, 2011 09:51 am Title: The Thrill of It

I am SO loving this story! I am so intrigued to find out if Jim will just quickly explain all this to Pam or if this dating request will be a temporary snag. I liked the timeline format for this chapter. I don't think you'd want to overuse it, but it worked very well for this chapter, showing Jim's building the tension throughout the day.

You have a really fine grasp of character development, dialogue and pacing. My only constructive criticism is that you sometimes have run on sentences. I think you it would help to have a grammar check beta buddy take a quick look at the chapters before you post them. (VB raises hand to offer services!) If you would want to take me up on my offer, you can PM me from the message boards.

I am hoping you have about 50 more chapters planned! There is so much you could do with this.



Author's Response: Thank you, Vampiric Blood! Yeah, the timeline was just a this chapter only thing. The pages breaks and horizontal rules looked really bad with the interviews. Kind of harsh on the eyes. Thankfully it worked with the chapter. Sadly I know I'm a big run on sentence girl. :( I normally spend about an hour or two trying to fix it while posting but things always slip through the cracks. I'm totally up for taking you up on your offer! I'm not on the boards but my aim sn is on my profile. I guess we can figure it out. Perhaps I'll just get on the boards. I know where I'm ending the story at but the chapters between now and then are somewhat tentative.

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