Date: December 12, 2018 10:59 pm Title: Sunday Afternoon Delight Part 2
Sprinkles! When I realized this was the last chapter I wanted to be mad at you. But then I read this glorious thing, and how could I be mad?! Oh! This whole story was just lovely. I hope you have more plans for other stories. You did Amazing with this one! Thank you for such a treat!
Author's Response: Thank you, thank you! It was fun. I have a couple of ideas percolating but December is too busy.
Date: December 07, 2018 04:04 pm Title: Sunday Afternoon Delight Part 2
Very sexy way to end things. They've clearly deeply in love with each other here and its very sweet to see. Excellent writing, very detailed and descriptive. Thanks for sharing this one.
Author's Response: Thank you for the comments. I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Date: December 06, 2018 06:06 pm Title: Sunday Afternoon Delight, Part 1
SO here's what I like about this chapter -- you briefly touched on how Jim thought Pam would be much shyer or tentative with him and then having her not be... It's so easy to go the other way with this that I really enjoy when I see a more assertive, going-after-what-she-wants Pam. I mean, after Beach Games, we knew she was a badass, right?
Your descriptions are so vivid, I could actually picture the tree scene in my head. You're really great at this, Sprinkles! :)
Date: December 06, 2018 10:54 am Title: Sunday Morning on Memory Lane
Ever since I read the line “the earth move”, I haven’t been able to get the AC/DC song out of my head. “You shook me all night long”
Keep those chapter coming, this story is so much fun! :)
Author's Response: Nothing wrong with a little ACDC! I'm glad you're enjoying. Thanks for the review.
Date: December 05, 2018 05:24 pm Title: Sunday Morning on Memory Lane
Ugh. I do love the suspense. And what a way to end it. Sprinkles, this is so great.
Author's Response: You're not allowed to read more until you give us a new chapter of Old Heart. :-) Pretty please. I love that story.
Date: December 05, 2018 05:19 pm Title: The Do-Over
Sprinkles! (In my best Jim Halpert saying "Beesly!" when he's proud of her.)
Fluff and steam and going back to the scene of the crime are so great and you did it justice!
He went by before to check that his swipe card worked. Reason #4,296 that women worldwide swoon over Jim Halpert.
Eek! I love interrupted kissy-times. It's another favorite technique of mine to read, and you wrote it beautifully. But now I'm out of jellybeans. :(
Thank you again. Only problem with the gate...I just rewatched the one where they're all locked in after working late and the gate is actually locked with a big padlock. I had to take creative license for that.
Date: December 05, 2018 05:09 pm Title: Dinner, At Last
Your first fanfic? You jest.
I mean from the giddiness when they were thinking about the date until they were practically undressing each other with their eyes, it was all so good.
Sure, you two. No sleeping together tonight. Okay. It's going to end at the doorstep with a goodnight kiss on the cheek. Right. Sure thing. Let's see how that works out for you two...
Author's Response: Omg I think I love you! Thank you, thank you for all the reviews. I love getting your thoughts on each chapter.
Date: December 05, 2018 05:00 pm Title: The Smoke Clears
Jim was an idiot about Karen. He was totally using her and likely didn't really GET that until this moment. Nicely done.
Oh, and I didn't mention before, but I love that Karen broke up with him outside of her door, that she didn't even let him in. He kind of deserved that and it won back a little bit of Karen's dignity.
But, more importantly, onto the Jam...
Date: December 05, 2018 04:56 pm Title: The Dust Settles
Oooooh! I love love love love the whole serendipitous, by-chance tactic. It is really one of my favorite techniques and I love how you played it out here.
You write anxious and embarrassed Pam very well. What a sweet visual of these two holding hands in a coffee shop the day after she told him (which he deserved) how he made her so tired. That is sometimes how love goes, especially with these two idiots.
Date: December 05, 2018 04:48 pm Title: Aftershocks
Love what Pam's mom said about the milk. That's a really great "Mom" thing to say, but it's also very true.
I think you captured Conflicted Pam very accurately here. I can see her taking blame, being fearful, etc. You unfolded this nicely without it being overdone.
Oh! I really like the line about trying to live in a world of black and white after you've seen color.
Date: December 05, 2018 04:39 pm Title: Pam Explodes
First fanfic ever?! Woohoo and congrats. Once you start writing down those ideas it becomes kind of addictive like crack...or breadsticks...or scrapbooking.
Okay, from the first line I was sold because I believe that is 100% accurate about Pam. When Pam and Michael had that conference room stare down when he was dating Helene, Pam squared up that chin in a way that just screamed someone who can have a temper. (Well, that, and later when she slapped him...)
I like how the gloves are off, everyone's reaction, and Toby's soft interruption! Can't wait to see where you take this story!
Date: December 02, 2018 06:27 pm Title: The Dust Settles
This was so great! I love that they were able to start this conversation and actually express their thoughts without any interruptions or drama or even just their own fears getting in the way.
I like this Pam. I like her a lot.
Date: December 02, 2018 10:17 am Title: Aftershocks
“And she needed him to know that the kiss was what convinced her that it was real. If his words had jolted her heart, his kiss had lit her on fire, body and soul. And it was terrifying.” SPRINKLES! This is my favorite line I’ve read in a story in a very long time. I love it so much!
Another great chapter - I love how even when they’re fighting, they’re still so very much feeling the same things as the other.
Author's Response: I have to confess that when my husband and I got together it was a similar situation to the Jim/Pam/Roy triangle. I've dug into the dusty archives in my mind to remember how it felt and write that here. I'm so glad it resonates. Thank you for the feedback!
Date: December 01, 2018 05:48 pm Title: The Dust Settles
A very heartfelt conversation. Great to see them communicating clearly for once. So many things could have been avoided if they'd been this brave in canon. I liked how you brought this about. Bringing back jinx was also a fun call back.
Author's Response: Ugh, canon. They said nothing about anything in canon! Even in re-watching it I can hardly pick up the tiny cues they give. Thank you for your continued encouragement. It's good to hear from you.
Date: November 30, 2018 10:49 pm Title: Aftershocks
Good introspection chapter here. Nice to know what they're all thinking. Hopefully now that we've cleared all that we can see what will happen next time Jim and Pam see or talk to each other.
I might suggest you upgrade the rating to M, due to adult language. If we're going by movie ratings you currently have this rated G when due to the adult language and forthcoming steam it should probably be rated R, or M here on the site.
Author's Response: Thank you for the feedback, and for the advice about the rating. I'm totally new to this so I appreciate that. I've changed it now so it should be good for the whole story.