Date: February 14, 2019 07:30 pm Title: How it should be
Very nice way to end this. Them sitting on the bed at 2am playing thumb war is very Jim and Pam. Lots of nice touches throughout. Jim's reassurance that Pam can go through with the breakup. Her nervousness and leaning into him. I love how they've connected throughout all of this and that it ends with them together. Nice job.
Fortes Fortuna Adiuvat
Thanks so much! I'm gald I managed to keep them in character. Plus, they are fun to write in these simple contexts.
Date: February 12, 2019 01:27 pm Title: The plan... or lack thereof
Oh, I loved this. I mean, the ending (pre-epilogue) was unexpected but well- choreographed, and the emotional beats were great, but before all that I wanted to highlight a paragraph:
“You got me. And I must say you’re a great victim. Very cooperative.”
This just hits the jam dynamic perfectly for me, between the joke and the context and the tone. Well done.
Author's Response: Thanks so much! I wasn't really sure about the ending, but I always wondered what would have happened if Jim didn't disappeared after Casino Night and gave Pam a little time to think things through :)
Date: February 12, 2019 12:54 pm Title: The plan... or lack thereof
This started out a lot of fun and only got better as it went on. It was a lot of fun to envision Jim and Pam at the arcade and then using their spoils to get out of the office. Everything else after that was wonderful to see too. Jim coming home to see Pam there waiting for him and their conversation afterwards was just icing on the cake. Nicely done.
Author's Response: Thanks very much! It was fun to think of ways of ending this with the together, making it both Jim's and Pam's efforts.
Date: February 12, 2019 04:57 am Title: Two too many
So far so good. Looking forward to seeing what Jim has planned. You've got them nicely in character here and it comes off very cute.
Author's Response: Thanks so much! Those two are great to write, I'm glad you think I got them in character :)
Date: February 11, 2019 08:49 pm Title: Two too many
So I saw this, and I started reading, and halfway through I clicked back to make sure it was going to continue (and I was so glad to see "Complete: No"). I really like your setup, and I'm intrigued by where you're going to have Jim go with this. Also, independently, I'm flattered that what I wrote in some way inspired you. But more importantly, I'm very excited for where this might go.
Thanks a lot!
No, this is far from done. I wanted to post it all last night, but I got sleepy and didn't get to finish it. I couldn't help myself from posting that first part, though. An introduction of sorts.