Date: May 25, 2019 03:40 pm Title: Chapter 14: Trial, But Mostly Error
I’m always down for a good movie montage. I’m actually pretty grateful not to see angry Roy over and over again. Poor Pam. At this point, I have no idea how you’re going to have her break up with Roy without it ending in disaster... I have no doubt that you have conjured up a way to make it all work out in the end though!
That whole Pokémon exchange was very cute, & put my childhood knowledge base to good use. Even though this cycle/s was about the Roy breakup, it was nice to have Jim injecting some levity into the situation (as Jim tends to do). I hope Pam has some success with everything she is setting out to achieve in the next cycle...
Date: May 25, 2019 11:57 am Title: Chapter 14: Trial, But Mostly Error
Yeah, that's kind of how I pictured Roy would react. Knee jerk anger. Something happens he doesn't like, get lashes out. See also Jim's face during the Office vs. Warehouse basketball game. Maybe she needs to enlist Darryl. Roy might not pay attention to her, but he does pay attention to his buddies. Still I admire Pam here. She's sticking to her guns and still trying to figure things out. Granted she doesn't really have much choice what with the whole repeating day thing, but still it's great to see the steel in her spine is staying strong.
The pokemon chat was also a lot of fun. Nice way to add in some humor. Also shows that Jim and Pam know each other really well. Well mostly since Jim did get her favorite pokemon wrong, but he was close to be sure.
Still doing a wonderful job with this. I always get excited when I see there's a new update.
Date: May 25, 2019 09:01 am Title: Chapter 1: Day 1
The arc that you have chosen for this story is working so nicely. The way that you have intermixed the canon from the show into your work is amazing. It is nice that you show the friendship that Pam and Karen could have had is refreshing, I for one am not a Karen hater. Looking forward to the next chapters.
Author's Response: Thank you so much! I like Karen-Pam friendships, so I enjoyed the chance to toss it into S2 here. Thanks for reading!
Date: May 21, 2019 10:55 pm Title: Chapter 13: Coors and a Couch
You really know how to excite me with a brief author’s note. I loved the lines about Jim’s smile being oxygen. I feel for Pam here, breaking up with someone is never an easy task, even if you’re the one initiating it. So to think that she’s going to have to do more times is painful. Although, I suppose it’s one of those of things you replay after the fact & refine your language choices in your mind, so she has that to look forward to I suppose. I am so very excited to now be in a world where Pam consciously loves Jim. I wish we could see Jim’s reaction to Roy appearing on the Booze Cruise & drowning his sorrows after being dumped by Pam...
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm pretty committed to this being Pam POV, but I agree that Jim's POV on that cruise would be an interesting exercise...
Date: May 21, 2019 05:21 pm Title: Chapter 13: Coors and a Couch
Have I mentioned how much I'm loving how you're taking canon elements and re-purposing them for this story? Pam breaking up with Roy at the bar at Poor Richards and his similar reaction here is very well placed. Same goes for the 27 seconds of silence, but at her desk rather than on deck this time around.
Also, the line that "it decided right then to turn over and grumble," also made me chuckle a bit. Roy being an "it" is one kind of fun dig on him, but also a great way to show how that Pam has mentally cut herself off from that relationship. So now I'm very curious to see how she'll manage to break up with Roy, get him off the cruise, get Larissa on the cruise, and make it to the cruise herself. Lots of steps to complete to be sure.
So to continue my analogy, because why not, Pam's got a new and better firelay built up, it might needs some adjusting though but the foundation is there. It also seems like she's figured out how to hold the flint and steel now to get more than just sparks. The sparks she is making are flying towards the tinder and starting to catch, but due to a strong gust of wind (read in this case Roy getting angry) they're not lighting things on fire, yet. However she's well on the right track. Can't wait to see how brightly her fire burns once she gets it all figured out.
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm enjoying the freedom to remix that this particular premise gives me. I'll be interested to see what you think of this next chapter and the way I've written Roy.
Date: May 21, 2019 07:48 am Title: Chapter 12: The Penny Drops
"If this was what Socrates was like, Pam could understand why the Athenians gave him hemlock." Great line. That you reference one of the most well known philosophers during this section great. Adding in Pam's sense of sarcasm to it, also great. I really liked how you had Penny as Pam's sounding board here. It makes for a wonderful dynamic in their sisterhood. Also we have a double confirmation now from the sisters. First when Larissa told Pam that Jim's hers. Also now here with Penny not only being seen as cold toward Roy, but encouraging Pam's feelings towards Jim.
I also liked the use of Pam's line from the Beach Day speech there as well. That speech is a big moment for Pam. In canon it took her a while to get there. Here it's taken time too but she's come to a lot of the same conclusions. Roy's not right for her and there is something better out there for her.
Oh what else did I like about this chapter? Oh yeah! The conversation she has with Jim. The tension on his end is still there. As far as he knows, she's still fully committed to Roy. That he gets quiet when she starts probing deeper than the safe waters of friendship makes sense. Jim has no idea she's had the revelations she's had. I did like that he is honest with her in telling her he's in love, but it makes complete sense that he still can't bring himself to tell her who he's in love with. After all he's still probably beating himself up for taking back the teapot card at this point.
In this case, to keep using my fire starting analogy, it feels like she's not so much using the flint and steel here. Rather she's resetting the kindling and tinder. I'm not sure how much she's really aware that's happening, but it's there. In order to have a good campfire, one needs a good base from which to build said fire. Pam seems to have cleared away the old dead fire that wasn't going anywhere that was her relationship with Roy. Now it seems she's built up or is almost done building a base for a romantic relationship with Jim. Maybe a few more adjustments with how she holds the flint and steel and that fire will catch.
Author's Response: Wow, thanks for the even-more-in-depth-than-usual response! I appreciate hearing about each of these things, they help confirm that I'm on the right track here and that the story is communicating what I want it to. To borrow a phrase from Churchill (and thus the setting of your current AU) "this is, perhaps, the end of the beginning": Pam has an idea now of what she wants, but now she has to put it in practice.
Date: May 21, 2019 04:07 am Title: Chapter 12: The Penny Drops
Boy, oh boy! What a chapter! Penny was a very welcome addition. I loved how you made her the measured opposite to Pam - forcing Pam to answer it all for herself in a very logical way. Not to be that person, but I’m going to need the next update ASAP! I think/hope Pam’s going to find out some very agreeable things on the next Booze Cruise edition...
Author's Response: Thank you! One of the things I'm enjoying with this format is the chance to toss in whatever characters I want because I can conjure them up from Pam's changed actions. Penny was fun to play with. I hope you enjoy the next chapter!
Date: May 17, 2019 07:04 pm Title: Chapter 10: Once More into the Stamford, Friends, Once More
I love Karen being a nice and happy person and I will protect every chapter that gives me so with an army of jellybeans.
Author's Response: Well then I will have to write more such chapters (though probably not in this fic)!
Date: May 17, 2019 03:18 pm Title: Chapter 11: Oh, Snap
Yes, yes and yes. An enthusiastic yes to everything about this chapter. I very much loved that Larissa was back, & that she’s a bold & lovely version of Larissa. Although, I’m itching for Pam to have some of these conversations with Jim himself. I’m still dying for the “save the receptionist” line to be overheard in a little more context. It was nice to see Pam helping out her colleagues - sweet little twist there with Toby & Brenda. I’m sure her being absent would dull down the Michael factor every so slightly. As per usual, I can’t wait for the next installment.
Author's Response: Thank you thank you thank you! I assure you we will get more save the receptionist, and generally more JAM as things go forward!
Date: May 17, 2019 07:57 am Title: Chapter 11: Oh, Snap
This was intense! But I love how Pam is finding what she wants more and more each time she goes through a cycle.
Well done, once again, I really do love this story.
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm really glad you're enjoying reading Pam's slow journey here as much as I am writing it!
Date: May 16, 2019 08:16 pm Title: Chapter 11: Oh, Snap
Wow! Comfect, I think this just might be my favorite story written by you!
The alternating days are so much fun and really gives the reader something different to look forward to.
I don’t think I’ve ever read a fic that gave me both of my favorite versions of Karen before either... hit by a truck Karen and friend to pam Karen. That was just brilliant!
I think the only thing I’m really kind of missing is the pam jim interactions, there’s just not a whole lot of it. I imagine at this point you’ve got things pretty much worked out but I was wondering if she invites jim on an adventure to spend some time with him? Or maybe call him up after she skips the cruise to chat with him a bit about their days. I figure at this point she’d want to get in a little extra time with him maybe.
Aw, thanks so much! It's a story I've been planning to tell for a really long time, so I'm really glad it's getting this warm of a reception. Being able to fit in both the optimal Karens was just a plus ;)
The thing with JAM interactions in this story is that I don't want to rush them; I promise they're coming, but I really want Pam to get there on her own, and that means avoiding using Jim too too much as a catalyst. That said, they do talk this next chapter...
Date: May 16, 2019 02:25 pm Title: Chapter 11: Oh, Snap
Part of me kind of wishes we could have seen a bit more of Roy's reaction after Pam's speech to him and her giving back the ring. Like if he had any answer to when she said she wasn't even in the room. But then again Roy's also drunk right here, and you did imply it wasn't pretty so then again maybe not.
I also liked Kelly's line there. How Pam already has Roy AND Jim. Just goes to show that just about everyone knew she and Jim were meant for each other long before she did. Nice way to bring that out and give Pam another sign she's on the right track.
You're right it seems Pam's building up a lot of confidence here. Starting small with helping some others looks to be a good way for her to build her courage.
I am wondering if she's going to do another non-cruise night next, or head back to the boat on the next cycle. Also how she'll figure out to break up with Roy without causing the ruckus as you mention.
I wanted to leave the detailed description of Roy's reaction for the next time she does it--it's the nature of repeated storytelling that it'll be a bit repetitive, so I try to focus on different details each time.
Thanks for the feedback; I'm glad this is working for you, and I promise to make some things clear in the next few chapters about the points you're making here ;)
Date: May 16, 2019 09:12 am Title: Chapter 10: Once More into the Stamford, Friends, Once More
Karen and Pam are friends (ish) and I’m here for it! Short and sweet is what you could call their interaction, and it’s everything I could’ve asked for. It’s interesting to see Karen pre-season 3 because we get to see what her and Pam could’ve been like if it wasn’t for the awkwardness of the whole Jim situation.
I’m excited to see the next groundhog! Keep it up
Author's Response: I feel like this is the kind of thing they should have done with Karen. Well, not this specifically but it would have been so nice for Pam to have a real female friend she could talk to in the office. Thanks for the review!
Date: May 16, 2019 04:50 am Title: Chapter 10: Once More into the Stamford, Friends, Once More
Yeash! That's the fanfic Karen/Pam relationship I love, thanks so much! Great chapter! (Sorry I haven't reviewed in ages. I'll get back to it later).
Author's Response: Yeah, that friendship is addictive for me, so I'm glad you share my joy! Thanks for the review :)
Date: May 16, 2019 02:26 am Title: Chapter 10: Once More into the Stamford, Friends, Once More
The second I saw the title for this chapter I thought, “oh my goodness, it’s going to be Karen!” and I was not disappointed. She’s so much more likable when she isn’t dating Jim/crushing everyones hopes & dreams for an entire season... I really loved the way you’ve used her here. I also love that Pam’s beginning to dwell on Jim much more! That bodes very well for what’s to come. Your explanation of how Pam’s friendships have disintegrated over the years felt very true to character - you know I feel for her about that. I know I’ve said this many a time, but I’m very much looking forward to seeing where you go next!
Author's Response: I'm so glad you weren't disappointed! I love Karen as a person; I just hate how the show used her, so I try at every turn to get a glimpse of the person behind the narrative obstacle. I'm glad this worked for you!
Date: May 15, 2019 10:06 pm Title: Chapter 10: Once More into the Stamford, Friends, Once More
Great way to give Pam some more perspective on everything. I think the non-Cruise days have done really well in that regard. Allowed Pam to have the time to process everything she's been seeing through these cycles. So now she's got two big pieces of information. Jim doesn't really want to be with Katy and even if she's not willing to fully admit it yet, she wants to be with Jim. The grip on her flint and steel seems to be adjusting a bit more here in the right direction. Looking forward to what the next time on the boat brings.
Author's Response: Thank you! I think she's going to find it's all downhill from here (in the sense of easier, not worse...I hope).
Date: May 15, 2019 12:36 am Title: Chapter 9: Save the Cheerleader, Save the World?
It’s nice to see Pam digging deeper into everything happening during the Booze Cruise - especially what’s going on with Jim. I’m hoping the unexpected source is Larissa back on board? But that’s a wild guess at best. I love that the highlight of all her repeating days is the prank on Dwight. That itself is telling enough (to everyone except Pam apparently...) I wonder if the Jim stuff will pique her curiosity enough to repeat a Booze Cruise day instead of an activity from her brochure pile? I’m sure the next update will answer that one for me.
Author's Response: You'll 100% see Larissa again, but I'll be interested to see what you think of Pam's mystery confidante. Thanks for reading!
Date: May 14, 2019 10:51 pm Title: Chapter 1: Day 1
You're doing a great job with this! I get really excited at every update, please keep it going, can't wait to see what's next
Author's Response: Thanks! I consider it a point of pride to not leave Works in Progress unfinished, so I promise it'll keep getting updates.
Date: May 14, 2019 03:41 pm Title: Chapter 9: Save the Cheerleader, Save the World?
I get where you'd say that Pam is a little further away from Jim here. After all if she thinks he's about to propose to Katy it makes sense she'd be hesitant to delve deeper into anything Jim related. However she also has a potentially huge new piece of information here. I'm sure you're going to have her over analyze it in the coming chapter, but that's all part of figuring this whole thing out.
Also confession from me. I've never seen "Groundhog Day." I know the gist of the movie obviously, but I've never actually seen it. That being said you're doing a great job here because for someone like me who hasn't seen the movie, I'm able to follow along with the parallels you're drawing between this story and the movie. Bravo for that.
She'll get there pretty quick ;) but it is important I think that her initial instinct isn't "he's into me."
I cannot recommend Groundhog Day enough, but I was trying to write this so you didn't have to have read it--I'm glad so far that's working! Thanks for the feedback.