Date: November 21, 2019 03:28 am Title: Chapter 19: Parking Lot
Now that's a different take on the confrontation. It really gets out of sorts with Micheal right there in the middle of it. Angry Roy is in true form here. Kinda hoping Darryl and the warehouse guys can maybe talk some sense into Roy but I kinda doubt it.
I did like how through your writing everything seemed to slow down from Jim' POV. Michael's "punches" Roy's tackle, falling into the car. It's actually a very real effect of the flight or fight response. Not sure if you knew that going in but for me at least it comes out in the writing.
Looking forward to seeing how this all shakes out.
Date: November 20, 2019 11:41 pm Title: Chapter 19: Parking Lot
Of course Michael was the one to draw blood. I’m not surprised & it was a fantastic plot twist all at the same time...
Speaking of twists, the spin on the Churchill quote was fun. I love the Jim was the one to say the never, never give up in this instance.
All of Michael’s response to the situation & checking in on Jim’s injury was great. For a chapter charged with potential violence, this was a whole lot of fun.
Date: November 20, 2019 02:30 pm Title: Chapter 18: Pam's Morning
The plot thickens! Did Jim punch Roy? Was it because Roy said insulting things about Pam, or maybe Roy just tried to deck Jim out of jealousy but was too slow? Or maybe it was Michael. Can’t wait to read the next chapter
Date: November 20, 2019 01:18 am Title: Chapter 18: Pam's Morning
Way to get in Roy’s head! I could definitely see a fight playing out this way. Boy oh boy, would Roy arc up and see himself as in the right if - in his mind - Pam was completely to blame for an argument. The idea that Roy didn’t like Pam hanging out with his friends also feels like a perfect fit for his character. I would never have thought of it, but does it make sense!
Way to leave it on a cliffhanger. I’ll be hanging out for that update!
Date: November 19, 2019 10:05 pm Title: Chapter 18: Pam's Morning
I think this may have been the fastest I've seen you update a story in a good lone time. Not complaining in the slightest mind you. Really glad to see this one going.
Lots of introspection here, kind of. Part of me would have liked to have had the actual dialoge of Pam and Roy's fight, but still we got the jist of what was going on. Pam was trying to mend fences, Roy's a jerk, and hopefully this all spells the end of the Roy/Pam relationship in this universe.
I've got a feeling Angela didn't mean Roy when she said Pam's boyfriend was bleeding there at the end. Great job as always getting into the feelings of your characters.
Date: November 19, 2019 01:02 pm Title: Chapter 17: The Office
I love seeing this side of Michael, at his heart he is so well intentioned and that’s what we see here. Dwight, grating on Jim all the more with Pam absent felt very true to character. Nice to see an update!
Date: November 19, 2019 08:35 am Title: Chapter 17: The Office
Lots of emotion right now. I can very easily see how Jim would get so tense around Dwight like this, especially since Pam's not there to calm him down.
By the way those lines at the start of this chapter? Pam in a truck with a drunk Roy. Her getting injured and losing her memory. *taps his nose* Nicely done.
However the real thing here is Michael. I really liked how you had a Good-Micheal moment here to diffuse the tension. Behind all the bluster, Micheal is a good guy and you brought that out well.
Great to see this one again.
Date: November 09, 2019 08:06 am Title: Chapter 16: Penny's
Oh, that's intriguing. The start of JAM dynamic is sooo good. Hope you update soon!
Author's Response: Sorry for taking so long, but hopefully we'll be back on the update track now. Thanks for the review! Glad you found it intriguing.
Date: November 06, 2019 12:38 pm Title: Chapter 16: Penny's
Ah, the wisdom of sisters... I’m glad Penny felt she could say as much as she said & that Pam wasn’t too on the defensive & could hear it. Hopefully it will spark some more critical reflection from Pam...
Author's Response: I hope so too! Thanks for the review.
Date: November 05, 2019 03:51 am Title: Chapter 16: Penny's
Short and sweet but powerful. Seems like Pam's heart is a couple steps ahead of her mind here. I liked that she looks up and it seems that only then she notices that she's basically packed everything up in order to move out.
What I'm curious about is Penny saying leaving Roy "this time." This implies there have been other times Pam's shown up like this, Penny has expressed her disapproval of Roy, but Pam's gone back to him. Interesting tidbit there.
Also welcome to the baby-kicks-while-on-the-computer club.
Author's Response: Thank you! I think this is going to accelerate a little, but you're still right that Pam's not entirely caught up with her own heart yet. And yes, good catch on the tidbit--that's fleshed out a little (not a lot) in the next chapter.
Date: November 01, 2019 03:51 am Title: Chapter 15: A Good Parking Lot
Congrats on your new little one! That definitely takes precedence over quick updating!
I loved how you incorporated Pam’s point of view on Jim’s drinking. It served a very strong purpose in the comparison with Roy. I was also very glad to see the chapter end with Pam frustrated & taking a step away from Roy. Although, I suspect it’s a little two steps forward, one step back for the time being...
Author's Response: Thank you! Yeah, I'll probably update a bit slower with the kid...but we shall still see how Pam works out with the steps forwards and back.
Date: October 31, 2019 07:50 pm Title: Chapter 15: A Good Parking Lot
Congrats on the kiddo! That's wonderful! Best of luck to you, sleep when you can as often as you can.
Interesting to see Pam's initial reaction to seeing Jim in the bar. I get it. She's had to pull Roy out of there so often that's right to where her mind goes. I love that the more she looks, the more Jim surprises her in a good way. I also like that she's starting to do more to separate herself from Roy. It's adding more and more to the pattern that she needs to get out of that relationship. Wonderful to see an update.
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm working on it! I do think Pam has certain patterns for men so thus certain reactions she'll have to recognize and possibly fix...
Date: October 23, 2019 05:26 am Title: Chapter 14: The Bar, Redux
I bet Pam’s going to do a double take when she sees Roy and Jim in the same bar. Hopefully this will help her contrast drunk, annoying Roy with charming Jim. Hope this pushes Pam and Roy’s breakup forward
Author's Response: I think it will! Thanks for the review (and the idea).
Date: October 22, 2019 11:27 pm Title: Chapter 14: The Bar, Redux
Way to leave it on a cliffhanger (of sorts). I hope Jim drinking at Poor Richards doesn’t diminish his standing in Pam’s eyes. I almost feel like she’d view him as not all that dissimilar from Roy if it were a regular occurrence... Not that I get that vibe at all, it just makes me think about it... Looking forward to another delightful Pam & Jim interaction that feels them both a little flustered & confused (in all the best ways)...
Author's Response: I promise to unhang the cliff. And thanks for the thought about her POV, I used it (as you'll see).
Date: October 22, 2019 07:53 pm Title: Chapter 14: The Bar, Redux
Feels like kind of a filler chapter here. Yes Jim's getting better at reading Pam so that's good to see. Still it's nice to see how Jim got set up in the house with Mark. A curious little tidbit there about Jim's folks and Larissa. Looks like a bit of Halpert family drama. Still an enjoyable story. Looking forward to seeing how thing go over with Pam showing up there at the end.
Author's Response: It is filler! But necessary filler I think. Thank you for reading, as always.
Date: October 21, 2019 02:22 am Title: Chapter 13: Pizza
Ugh. This is just another glimpse that confirms that Roy is the absolute worst. The. Worst. I’m hoping that it takes Pam far less time than canon to come to her senses...
I think you might be right...
Thanks for the review!
Date: October 20, 2019 09:48 pm Title: Chapter 13: Pizza
Hell yeah Pam! Tell that big caveman brute what for! I know this is well before Fancy New Beesly and all, but clearly she has that spunk within her. After all we did see Pam and Roy fight on camera in canon the night of the Dundies so it's not like this is out of character or anything.
Good on ya Pam for not letting Roy get away this kind of brutish behavior. I get that there may be some backsliding, but still good to see her stand up for herself like this. Keep up with those instincts.
Wonderful writing as always.
Author's Response: Thank you! We will generally see a more self-assertive Pam here because one of the changes I'm positing is that her relationship with Roy declines because of the weirder but more connective way she and Jim meet.
Date: October 15, 2019 01:11 pm Title: Chapter 12: Masks
Interesting introspection on Jim's part. I get why he'd be so confused. For the most part he and Pam get on great, but there's the flinch creating this tension. I like how he really starts to get to know her as a way to try and get to the bottom of it.
The DC vs. Marvel debate was wonderful. As was the fact that she carries around a comic book like that. Especially an issue that's not nearly as well known as some of the Marvel standards.
Hey look it's Roy in need of a punching. She's a person you dope, not a dog for you to command. You make it so easy to hate Roy in all the best, this that's the word for it, ways.
And it in now way surprises me that Dwight would go for Dark Horse. Probably go on some big rant about the over commercialization and trite narratives of DC and Marvel.
Author's Response: Yeah, sometimes the arguments just write themselves. Even the Dwight bits. Thanks!