1 [Report This]Date: October 07, 2020 02:28 pm Title: Chapter 1
Interested to see where you go with this - feels like some good choices being made here, with Pam's fundamental loneliness and passivity being recreated by the mores of the society she lives in.
1 [Report This]Date: December 05, 2019 02:28 pm Title: Chapter 1
I had to check this out as I am also a huge Jane Austen fan (another vote for 'Persuasion' as the favorite, here!). I would be sad if you didn't continue... Looking forward to what's next!
1 [Report This]Date: December 05, 2019 12:43 am Title: Chapter 1
Hope you do continue - looking forward to seeing where you take this! I wouldn't have known - as others have said - that English isn't your first language. Great start!
Author's Response: Thank you, that means a lot to me!
1 [Report This]Date: December 04, 2019 02:03 pm Title: Chapter 1
I agree with everyone else, please do continue!
I also wouldn’t have known that English isn’t your first language, so truly, great job!
I’m intrigued to see how your versions of the characters differ in this century - I’m getting some Cinderella vibes, with Pamela becoming the house keeper - but she’s not treated as badly by Mr Scott.
Thank you for writing this :)
Author's Response:
Thank you!
I love Pam to much to make her suffer from Michael's behavior... but there were a few horrible moments in the past, and, probably, I'll mention them in the next chapters.
1 [Report This]Date: December 03, 2019 09:43 pm Title: Chapter 1
Please continue! This contains two of my favorite things - Jane Austen and JAM! You’ve set it up really well here. Your writing is lovely, particularly for a second language. I would never have guessed you weren’t a native speaker without you mentioning it in the end note.
I’m very excited to see where you go with this. I’d be happy to help out with beta-ing if you can’t find anyone. Although, I’m not American so there may be things I miss in terms of spelling, terminology, etc. I can’t imagine that would be the biggest issue for this particular story, given the context of the time period... I don’t have a great deal of experience beta-ing (but, I was an English teacher earlier in my career).
Persuasion is one of my favorite novels. As previously mentioned (but, well worth saying again) I’m so very excited to see where you go with this.
Author's Response:
Thank you so much for your review! I would love and appreciate your help.
By the way, 'Persuasion' is also my favorite Austen's novel :)
1 [Report This]Date: December 03, 2019 04:41 pm Title: Chapter 1
Oh, please do continue. This is lovely, and you're doing a good job of picking up the language of Regency or eighteenth century novels. I like the setup; interested to see how this goes!
Author's Response: Thank you, I'll do my best and try not to delay with updates!
Date: December 03, 2019 02:31 pm Title: Chapter 1
It's intriguing to be sure. The changes as to who is who look promising as well. Truth be told I've never read any Jane Austen so I only know of the general plots of her more famous works. So good for me going forwards as I won't know what to expect.
Quick thing on the technical side of writing. Titles of nobility are always capitalized. So rather than writing sir or lord Michael, it should always be Sir or Lord Micheal. Same goes for things like Mr., Mrs., or Miss. Hope that helps for things going forward.
Author's Response:
Thank you very much for your review and your remarks. I'll try to update the story regularly.