Date: October 07, 2020 03:30 pm Title: Chapter 9
I like this chapter a lot - Holly's observations on the idle rich are entertaining and her commentary gives her a good roll to play, and you've also done well to give Pam a scene between Jim and Karen to witness that fairly causes her pain while letting the reader know that Jim is a ways away from truly letting her go.
Author's Response: Thank you! I like the idea of Pam having female friends a lot — and I guess I wanted to make her a little less lonely and sad here. And I enjoyed adding a scene of Toby arriving and revealing Pam's name...
Date: March 19, 2020 03:43 am Title: Chapter 9
I keep expecting not to be all that surprised by this story - after all, it’s loosely following the plot of two others that I’m familiar with (The Office & Persuasion) and then you do something like fit the Dwight finding Pam crying scene seamlessly into the story & it makes me gasp. It’s just so perfect & unexpected (even though I think I know what to expect). I love that you keep surprising me with this.
Toby, was also a little shock, followed immediately by the thought of well, that makes sense. Although, is he Benwick or Elliot? You’ll have to write the next chapter quickly so I can find out!
Author's Response:
Thank you so much! I hope I'll keep to surprise you :)
I wish I could write as quickly as I want, but... oh well. So... when you find out who Toby turned to be, I hope you won't be disappointed!
Date: March 18, 2020 09:51 pm Title: Chapter 9
Ah, I am quite loving this. The transformation of Dwight finding Pam was particularly well done: "'Your idea of duties and your loyalty to Sir Michael do you honor,' he said cautiously, yet solemnly. 'I realize how painful it could be to let the guests encounter regrettable imperfections, but I truly believe that the unbaked biscuits are not your fault.'" Just a perfect transformation of that moment into a Regency-appropriate response. And I quite like the choice of Toby to come join the throng, and to excite Jim's jealous eyes. Wonder what Sir Michael's response to him will be. Looking forward to more.
Author's Response:
Thank you for your review! It means a lot to me.
I am glad I could keep believable the Regency stylization. Perhaps, this is partly why the thing goes a little bit slower than I'd like them, but, I hope, I'm not dragging the story. The next chapter is ready :)
Date: March 18, 2020 06:29 pm Title: Chapter 9
Ooohhhh.... is Toby our Mr. Elliot?! Perhaps we are at a turning point for poor Pamela. I like the friendship that you have created between Miss Flax and Pam. I always liked Holly - reasonable, yet silly.
Thank you for sharing the poems - I can see Pam and Karen in both of those, though I especially liked the Wordsworth poem.
Thanks for writing!
Author's Response:
Thank you for reading!
I tried to mix characters a little, so... yes, here is some part of Mr.Elliot in Toby (but only a part!).
Date: March 18, 2020 11:40 am Title: Chapter 9
Nice way to incorporate Dwight finding Pam alone there. I do find it interesting that thus far Jim and Pam have had no serious interaction since his return. I get why, he has Karen on his arm and she's trying to avoid him. Looking forward to the inevitable when they do find themselves directly face to face.
Author's Response:
Thank you for your review!
Though Pam and Jim are good at avoiding (both in the show and here), I do promise they find a way to interact - one or another.