Date: May 22, 2020 08:49 am Title: I will be as white as snow if you allow me to be
I love a good star wars reference sandwiched into a chapter
‘Well, Roy Anderson had always been the personification of the word 'injustice,' but now it added even more layers, hues, and shades. He became a granite statue, looming over the heads of people like an old Soviet monument, repressing and coarse.’
THIS! This was my favourite part of this chapter, and while all of it was really good, I loved this, it shows how Jim feels about Roy so clearly
Date: May 22, 2020 03:19 am Title: I will be as white as snow if you allow me to be
“He wished her to be independent.
Unfortunately, she also became independent of him” This is heart wrenching! I mean, it’s good for Pam in a lot of ways to find herself without jumping into anything with Jim. It’s still so hard to read, especially because Pam seems so miserable too. I’m glad Roy is gone, but his memory is still lurking. I hope Pam is a little happier next chapter...
Date: May 21, 2020 09:06 pm Title: I will be as white as snow if you allow me to be
Good chapter to get us moving. Yeah it's a hard time for them. But at least Roy's out of the picture now. Kinda figure it's going to take Pam some time to get her feet under her. Hopefully things start shifting for the better sometime soon.
Jim's ache as he's still just the friend felt very real here. He really wants to be more. You really get the fact that following his sister's advice is wearing on him.
Date: May 21, 2020 08:59 pm Title: I will be as white as snow if you allow me to be
I'm glad Pam's gained her independence, now I just want to see her happy! You've written the mood so well in this chapters because it really feels like a great trouble at the same time as a triumph. Looking forward to seeing how Pam moves forward with her new life.
Date: May 18, 2020 05:44 am Title: Not today for sure tomorrow
Wow. I just read all four parts at once. This is such a great story! Keep the storyline, change the setting. Brilliant. Can’t wait for the next update!
Author's Response: Thank you so much for your kind words! I hope you'll enjoy the next chapter as well :)
Date: May 13, 2020 11:25 pm Title: Love in payphones is doomed to be short-lived
“Apparently, all this time, Pam was drinking from the mug with the chipped edge as well.” This whole metaphor is perfection. I love it so much. Roy is definitely the equivalent of chipped china when the good stuff is right there, within reach.
Kelly being obsessed with Eurovision in this world made me smile despite all the heavy emotion swelling in this chapter.
“She also failed to bring back the time when butterflies in her stomach had turned into apathetic chrysalises and they — into caterpillars, wriggling in dread.” I love, love, love this. This is such beautifully written description of Pam’s feelings for Roy.
“She could live with Roy's anger, but wouldn’t be able to stand Jim's disappointment.” Damn, that hurts. For Pam to feel that way is utterly heart wrenching. I can totally see her thinking that though.
This chapter was all kinds of wonderful. I can’t wait to see independent Pam.
Thank you so much, Jenna! I'm excited that you liked these lines :)
I can't understand and explain the popularity of Eurovision, but it had to be last weekend, and many of my friends gushed about it so much... even if they aren't into music and show-business. So Kelly, for sure, wouldn't miss that!
Date: May 13, 2020 07:11 pm Title: Love in payphones is doomed to be short-lived
I like that she's listened to her friend's advice and is making the changes in her life that she wants, even if they are indirect, like botching her Visa application or direct, like handing back that ring and slapping Roy out of her life!
Heartbreaking that Roy wasn't understanding, comforting or willing to wait for Pam... and she was just looking for any scrap of love he had to offer her. Any reason to stay. I'm glad it propelled her to make those big changes.
Like Jim, I'm also wondering what her next step will be!
Thanks for writing!
Thank you for reading and reviewing!
I felt a little heartbroken when I was writing that part about Pam's decision, but... eventually, it turns out well for her :)
Date: May 13, 2020 04:45 pm Title: Love in payphones is doomed to be short-lived
Quick pause in my reading or I'll forget to comment on this. "Rodents of unusual size," and "as you wish?" Lots of Princess Bride quotes on the archive right now and I am 100% here for that. Ok, back to reading.
Ok so starting off this chapter still on the heavy side. Roy the jerk is on fine display here. I mean you paint the picture here very clearly that Roy is only in the relationship with Pam for what he can get out of it. He's in no way interested in putting in any actual effort to make her happy or even find out what would make her happy. Sorry to tell you Roy, but in general making decisions for someone else usually doesn't end up well. Now of course he's paying for that with Pam leaving him. He still seems really pissed off though and I wonder how that's going to pan out.
Good for Pam to get that bit of backbone though. Really good to see her emerge from the fog of that relationship and realize it doesn't hold anything for her. Of course now she has to deal with the fear of the unknown. That anxiety is also very palpable.
Jim is of course doing what he's best at. Taking care of Pam. Good to see him just being there for her. Hopefully now that she's clear of the fog bank of her failed relationship, she'll be able to see more what it right in front of her.
Still a heavy chapter, but not as much as last time. There's a ton of pressure to be sure, but there's clearly a corner that's been turned. Great to see.
Thank you very much for your review! I really enjoy reading it. I like to add some moments from the movies (books, shows, etc.) I like into my stories (if it fits the storyline, of course), and I'm happy when these moments are noticed.
Thank you for reading, and I hope you'll enjoy the continuation as well.
Date: May 13, 2020 02:07 pm Title: Love in payphones is doomed to be short-lived
Wow, that's one way to really remove Roy from the picture, just straight up exile him! I really liked Pam's take on that confrontation, just waiting for any sign that Roy was as invested in the relationship as she was... And getting nothing.
Well done, looking forward to how Pam copes with her newfound independence.
Thank you so much! I spent a lot of time thinking about what could be the reason for Pam to left Roy without Jim's confession and ended up with this. Glad it turned out well :)
Hope you'll find an answer in the next chapter (or two)!
Date: May 13, 2020 01:27 pm Title: Break my chest not knowing the measure
Oh wow. The way that Jim thinks of himself as Roy? I’ve never thought about it that way before. So heartbreaking!
Author's Response: Oh, thank you for your comment! Perhaps, sometimes I'm too harsh to Jim...
Date: May 13, 2020 11:52 am Title: Love in payphones is doomed to be short-lived
Well that was a good turn of events. Time for some independent Pam. Can’t wait to read how her relationship with Jim develops
Thank you for reviewing! The development might be slow a little... but it will progress :)
Date: May 13, 2020 11:49 am Title: Not today for sure tomorrow
I love this, a lot! That tea-set metaphor was such a good realisation for Pam, and her having that discovery was a long time coming! The start of this chapter made me want to wrestle Roy, but by the end of it I was smiling, filled with some classic jam love. Well done :)
Author's Response: Thank you very much! The start is rough a little, but I could promise to save some special moments for the next chapters :)
Date: May 13, 2020 11:27 am Title: Love in payphones is doomed to be short-lived
Aww. Good for Pam. She definitely needs to stay away from Roy long enough for him to get out of the country though...for all our sakes, including hers.
Oh, yeah... I don't like Roy in this story, so... she needs.
Thank you for commenting!
Date: May 09, 2020 03:34 pm Title: Break my chest not knowing the measure
Your writing is hauntingly beautiful. I love how the Jamness is the same but also different, how you capture that banter so well. I'm so excited to read more!
Author's Response: Thank you very much! I'm very insecure about the dialogues (though I like to include them), so your kind words mean a lot to me!
Date: May 08, 2020 04:15 pm Title: Break my chest not knowing the measure
Oh, this chapter is both hauntingly beautiful and utterly heartbreaking. When you used the “you have to take a chance on something sometime,” it destroyed me. The angst just rolls off the page. It all feels a little darker in this world at the moment. I hope Jim has the courage to talk to Pam when he’s sober...
Oh, Jenna, it destroyed me as well when I was writing it, but some things just have to be done...
Buuut... things might change ;)
Date: May 07, 2020 08:53 pm Title: Break my chest not knowing the measure
That felt very heavy. Interesting to see them square off like that. I do have to wonder if Jim's bluster has more of an effect than he knows.
Jim's introspection is key here I think. Even before he got drunk, I think it's telling that he is realizing that all the distraction wasn't doing anything to get her away from Roy. It was just covering up things to make the bad relationship easier to forget. I wonder how he might now react after this epiphany.
A heavy but a good chapter to be sure.
Author's Response: Thank you for your great review, Warrior! This chapter was hard to write, but I hope it was worth it. I'll try to keep the story on the same level!
Date: May 07, 2020 08:07 pm Title: Break my chest not knowing the measure
You got me with the pump fake on the phone call. I was all 'Noooo you can't say that while drunk Jim!'
I'm really looking forward to seeing how this progresses, keep up the good work.
Thank you! I'm terrible with jokes and I'm excited when they work out well :)
Date: May 07, 2020 07:36 pm Title: Break my chest not knowing the measure
Oh no Larissa! I laughed even though my heart was breaking for Jim! Looking forward to the next chapter!
Author's Response: I'm glad this story made you laugh and thank you for reviewing!
Date: May 07, 2020 07:28 pm Title: Break my chest not knowing the measure
I love that you included their special moment of silently acknowledging the ghost station here with Jim acknowledging what is about to happen, the train slowing to a halt, her being carried away by the crowd, so much lost because:
Jim relied so much on 'maybe,' 'perhaps,' obscure miracles, and lucky chances that he basically did nothing to make them come true. And now it was too late.
I also like that he had the revelation that in some ways, he has failed Pam just like Roy. So many strong feelings.
I would have thrown myself into the pit of despair at the end of this chapter had it not been for the humor in him calling "Pain in the Ass" instead of Pam!
Thanks for saving me and for writing!
Oh, I'm glad that you had some laugh and I'm sorry that this story almost made you fall into despair :(
I have many feelings about first seasons Jim and I think that he needed a good push to reconsider his feelings and his actions towards Pam. Hope, that would work out well!
Date: May 07, 2020 07:11 pm Title: Please don't cry
Oh, Pam. Don't settle. Her spiraling thoughts at the end of this chapter are so heartbreaking.
On another note, I loved the imagery that you've created placing them in another country and culture.
Also, love the backstory on Ma Anderson. It gives us a much better understanding of why Roy is the way he is and how out of place Pam already feels in his family...
Looking forward to some hope for Pam!
Thanks for writing!
Thank you so much for your wonderful comment, H&C! I'm glad that you enjoyed this story.
I was thinking a lot about Pam and Roy's relationship and I came to conclusion, that one of the things, why they were together for so long, was the involvement of the members of both families (the traditions still have a strong influence here, especially in the countryside). So, maybe, they just didn't have another choice than to stick together... did they?
Date: May 07, 2020 05:24 pm Title: Break my chest not knowing the measure
Oh man. That's a misdial all right. At least it's his sister, and not someone he could be romantically linked to...
Yeah, it would be a disaster if he called Kelly, for example...
Date: May 03, 2020 09:03 pm Title: Please don't cry
I appreciate the teaser. I think this is a great AU and I love it. Thanks for placing JAM in your chosen context! It's glorious.
Thank you so much, I'm glad you enjoyed it!
I forgot to put a teaser after the first chapter, but I won't repeat that mistake :)
Date: May 02, 2020 08:16 pm Title: Please don't cry
I love small town Pam so very much. Feeling too changed for her childhood bedroom, but easily falling back into the routines and chores.
Her relationship with Roy’s mother is too real. There’s something about mothers and their sons - especially youngest sons. It’s not hard to believe that Mrs Anderson doesn’t see her as good enough. No one ever measures up when it comes to beloved younger sons!
Oh Pam. It breaks my heart that Roy is making these huge decisions without her, that the biggest sign that he doesn’t value her.
Her thoughts on Jim and falling out of touch are so real. A lot of friendships fade with distance (some make it through though!)
A couple of random things that I love: I think it’s cool how Europeans call birthdays “anniversaries”. My Dutch relatives will often say “congratulations” instead of “Happy Birthday.”
Is it common for young people to move away for work? We met a friend on the train between Lviv and Kyiv and she works in Dubai. She introduced us to another girl living in Moscow who had also worked in Dubai. It surprised me a little, that they had moved so far for work.
I’m kind of curious to see why Jim is called a moron next chapter!
Oh, thank you so much for your amazing review! I'm glad you like the idea, and I'm glad that these ideas worked out well!
Yes, young people often seek better jobs and a better life elsewhere. The most common countries for work migration are Poland, Italy, Russia, Czech Republic. However, some of my friends work and live in Sweden, Germany, Singapore, Australia (and I still envy my husband, who had a business trip to San Francisco!). It's hard for me to imagine how it could be to uproot the whole life and move out, but for others, the salary (or the received knowledge) pays the discomfort off.
And the chapter is almost ready, so the answer will be soon :)