1 [Report This]Date: May 25, 2020 02:42 pm Title: Logic and fear and doubt
Oh this is so heartbreaking. And so well written. You capture each of their voices so well and I have no trouble at all immediately accepting their actions and thoughts and dialogue. I hate that they’re so distant but I have no doubts that the angst and heartache is going to be worth it. Welcome to MTT! Way to make an outstanding first impression!
1 [Report This]Date: May 21, 2020 09:05 pm Title: Logic and fear and doubt
Aw man, yikes. Jim really rustles my jimmies in this story - and in S3 in general. This chapter was really hard to read, especially the last couple lines, ouch!
You're doing a really great job colouring the mood here, can't wait to see what you have in store for us next.
1 [Report This]Date: May 21, 2020 09:11 am Title: Logic and fear and doubt
Ouch. Well, at least Jim knows a little bit of how much he screwed up.
1 [Report This]Date: May 21, 2020 05:53 am Title: Logic and fear and doubt
Ugh this is painful to read. This plot is breaking my heart, but you're doing a great job at capturing both of their emotions.
1 [Report This]Date: May 21, 2020 02:28 am Title: Logic and fear and doubt
Ouch. This chapter is angst incarnate. Pam is doing what she needs to to survive. I just hope Jim will hang in there long enough for Pam to start to want to trust him again...
Date: May 21, 2020 12:01 am Title: Logic and fear and doubt
Oof, that was a heavy chapter to be sure. Especially how you used those lines from A.A.R.M. that Jim uses to say how strong his relationship with Pam is. The new context here gives it quite a bit more depth.
I fear that it's too little to late for Jim right now. Or at least it feels like that. Part of me is thinking that as long as Jim is in his relationship with Karen, Pam is still going to give him that cold shoulder. He's trying, but without removing that last hurdle, I fear it'll all be for naught.
Jim's clearly going through a huge emotional time right now too. No where near what Pam's gone through, to be fair. I do hope that somewhere, someway Pam realizes that he's trying. That he screwed up and the Jim she deserves is still there.
Great writing to bring all that out.
1 [Report This]Date: May 20, 2020 11:47 pm Title: Logic and fear and doubt
I love it, and I hate it and everything in between. Especially Jim's attempts to reach Pam and his uninventable failure. Amazing work!
I need to look at some happy Jam gifs to recover after this chapter, but that emotional vortex totally worth it!
1 [Report This]Date: May 10, 2020 07:00 am Title: The calculus of loss
It's so sad to see Pam lose faith in those around her like this, if totally understandable. I really hope Jim can get his head out of his ass and let his actions speak for him, to repair the tatters of their relationship.
Looking forward to more. Personally, I don't seek out angst, but you're doing a great job, so you do you and pace it as you see fit.
1 [Report This]Date: May 10, 2020 01:33 am Title: The calculus of loss
The only thing that keeps me sane is your promise that it gets better.
Poor Pam, I can feel and relate with her every emotion, thought, and worry. Gosh, I admire her intention to become stronger, but I worry that she has to pay a big price for that...
Oh, and these two lines:
'Who is she without Roy? Without Jim? A receptionist who likes to draw doodles no one would see. She’d been a ball-and-chain fiancé to one and an easily discarded crush to the other. It’s humiliating.'
and
'Fancy New Beesly refuses to be defined by only the men around her anymore.'
Excuse me, I need to have some good cry.
Well done with setting the right emotional background and I'm dying to know what happens next!
1 [Report This]Date: May 09, 2020 07:44 pm Title: The calculus of loss
No not overdone angst here. Especially considering she had to watch the video of the attack. I'm sure there's still a lot of fear, doubt, anxiety, anger, shame, and every other kind of feeling flooding through here.
It does make me wonder what's going to happen with her. The story description says she rises like a phoenix. That can mean any number of things.
All that being said, her internal thoughts through everything here are very real and haunting.
Date: May 09, 2020 06:55 pm Title: The end before the beginning
A tough read, but you wrote it so well. Lots of hard things here, but so much hope in that Pam is hanging on to a bit of her self worth. I always love stories where Pam defines herself apart from the men in her life.
Thanks for writing!
Date: May 09, 2020 04:34 pm Title: The calculus of loss
I think it's moving along nicely! Looking forward to what happens next 😊
1 [Report This]Date: May 09, 2020 04:24 pm Title: The calculus of loss
Wow! This is so beautifully written, and so introspective. Everything that is going through Pam’s mind is so on point. Even her thoughts on Jim.
This is such a heartbreaking story in the best of ways. I think Pam talking to her mom is the right first move. I wonder how it will play out between Jim and Pam. Looking forward to so much more.
Many jellybeans!!!
1 [Report This]Date: May 09, 2020 03:03 pm Title: The calculus of loss
“Pam needs to get out. Not today, not tomorrow—even now it is not in her nature to be impulsive. But soon. Somehow, she’ll make her way out. Roy, Jim, Michael be damned; Fancy New Beesly refuses to be defined by only the men around her anymore.”
I love this so much. I mean, it breaks my heart how hopeless Pam feels about Jim in this moment. But, that passage is perfect. I love this fierce side of Pam refusing to let the men in her life define her any longer. This is a powerful Pam and I am here for it.
Author's Response: I'm so glad you liked that part!!! It hopefully sets up the turning point for Pam's trajectory, and I hope it wasn't too abrupt.
Date: May 09, 2020 02:57 pm Title: The calculus of loss
It has to get worse before it gets better but Pam needs this. It’s so good of you to show her breaking and hitting this bottom so that she can piece herself back together. Excellent chapter!
Author's Response: Thank you! I really wanted this to be like her art show moment--where she has to kind of be broken down to fully rise. Better things should be in sight for her.
1 [Report This]Date: May 06, 2020 07:48 am Title: The end before the beginning
You’ve captured the raw emotions so well. I’m totally hooked - please update!
1 [Report This]Date: May 04, 2020 11:04 pm Title: Heartache and a thousand natural shocks
Oh. My. God. My whole damn heart. Ugh, Michael is so unthinkably cruel without meaning to be. This is pure angst. Your writing is vivid and utterly heart wrenching. I can’t wait to see where you go next.
Author's Response: I feel like Michael really does straddle the line between unintentionally, horribly cruel and just bumbling. I hope it's not too much angst--I really want to get to fairer seas soon!
1 [Report This]Date: May 04, 2020 10:00 am Title: Heartache and a thousand natural shocks
You captured all their emotions so well! I'm a little mad at Jim myself right now too. Why should he be assuming the worst? I feel very strongly about this meaning you did a great job. Can't wait for your next update!
Author's Response: I'm really glad--thank you! Jim I feel like doesn't mean to be cruel, but can be in self-defense. I hope I can redeem him properly :)
1 [Report This]Date: May 04, 2020 08:40 am Title: Heartache and a thousand natural shocks
Yikes, the mood of the writing is on point, you're stressing me out over here friend.
Looking forward to more.
Author's Response: Hahahaha thank you! I live to stress people out :D
1 [Report This]Date: May 04, 2020 08:35 am Title: The end before the beginning
Ouch, right in the feels with that last line. The writing for this chapter was on point and really set the mood. Great work.
1 [Report This]Date: May 04, 2020 05:16 am Title: Heartache and a thousand natural shocks
That was so powerful. This chapter left me with heartache, but it was really, really well-written.
My heart is with Pam. Oh, poor girl... I feel for her so much. And that little detail, that she flinched from Toby's touch, was especially realistic and painful.
As for Jim... I understand his motivations, but somehow it doesn't make me feel sympathy for him. Hope that will change.
I'd like to see how this situation will be resolved so much!
Author's Response: Thank you so much! Hopefully I haven't made Jim too unlikable--I have a harder time with him than Pam.
1 [Report This]Date: May 03, 2020 11:47 pm Title: Heartache and a thousand natural shocks
Oh wow. This story is so intense and I absolutely love it! The way you describe the tension is amazing. Looking forward to more!
Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm so glad you liked the chapter.
1 [Report This]Date: May 03, 2020 10:21 pm Title: Heartache and a thousand natural shocks
Ugh. This is so crushing. Michael not knowing what to do at the end kills me.
Author's Response: I try :) Hopefully the coming chapters are enjoyable!
Date: May 03, 2020 09:31 pm Title: Heartache and a thousand natural shocks
Holy crap! And I thought the last chapter was a gut punch. To have Pam there to experience it all over, especially with Jim there! Wow! That's...intense.
I have absolutely no idea where this one is going to go from here. Yeah, just wow.
Author's Response: First Jam story, so I'm not 100% sure either. Thanks for reading!
1 [Report This]Date: May 02, 2020 08:52 pm Title: The end before the beginning
Damn. This was good. Dark, but good. That last line though? Oh god. Is there more to come? That last line makes it feel - heartbreakingly - complete...
Author's Response: Definitely more to come! Thanks so much for reading :)