Date: October 02, 2020 02:02 pm Title: We're Both [Finally] Showing Hearts
I thought you made really good use of the dual POV structure here - it ends up being something like three stories in one.
And man, the kiss at the beginning circling around to the heavier stuff at the end... ::waves hand at face:: Getting hot in here.
Date: August 15, 2020 11:58 am Title: We're Both [Finally] Showing Hearts
So it was very interesting to go over the same ground twice each time. I expected an anticlimax, and sometimes it was, but overall I think it was very effective: the second time really let you focus on the differences and similarities between their points of view. Nice work.
Date: July 20, 2020 04:15 am Title: We're Both [Finally] Showing Hearts
“Now he could see her space for how she lived in it on a daily basis” I really like this, Jim coming into Pam’s space unplanned and getting to know her even better. It’s almost an act of intimacy in itself. (On the other hand, I’d be like wait in the car while I vacuum, thanks... But that could just be a me thing).
This was all so incredibly sweet. This story was a nice glimpse into what could (should?) have been. I really liked the way you gave us both perspectives too. I think you handled it well - it didn’t feel repetitive. You balanced having the scenes line up from both perspectives without it feeling too predictable. Thanks for sharing!
Date: July 19, 2020 09:04 pm Title: We're Both [Finally] Showing Hearts
If your goal was to work on getting more into the minds of the characters, you absolutly succeded. The alternating POV's were delightful to read. It really showed they've been on the same page for a long time. And now that they're together that bond is even stronger and still growing.
Great way to get into Jim's thoughts with this final chapter. His anticipation is paplable. For him this is the culmination of years of thoughts and fantasies and it's lovely to read that the reality is so much more than what he imagined.
Great job with all of this.
Fortes Fortuna Adiuvat
Date: July 16, 2020 04:48 pm Title: Magical Mystery Ride
Definitely a raised eyebrow. I'm so happy that they're moving on to better things with each other, and I can see how this is all ready to be nicely wrapped up. This has been a great alternative and I look forward to your conclusion!
Author's Response: Thank you! I just added the last chapter so be sure to check it out!
Date: July 15, 2020 04:35 am Title: Magical Mystery Ride
“Her heart was calling the shots for once.” As it should! (In this instance anyway).
Ahh, this is all so steamy and sweet. The tension, oh the tension. I’m so glad they’re finally giving in to it!
Author's Response: Thank you! It's about time they did!
Date: July 15, 2020 02:05 am Title: Magical Mystery Ride
Wonderful chapter. Even though there's not a lot of talking, the running commentary of Pam's thoughts were splendid. All the hype to this moment, the long sorrowful looks, the moments they denied, all of it doesn't matter anymore now that they're together.
That one last trickle of fear before Pam repeats Jim's words to her makes complete sense. They've been on shaky ground before it seems natural that there would be some worries they're still there. Of course they're not and it's lovey to see Pam fully embrace and accept her true feelings for Jim this time around.
Author's Response: Thank you so much! It was enjoyable to write this and get inside her mind.
Date: July 14, 2020 10:01 pm Title: Magical Mystery Ride
Yay! My morning starts with a fantastic update!
"They needed this. Whatever this was exactly," - I like this line so much. And I like the colliding metaphor. It describes their journey so perfectly...
And then I had no words except 'awww.' So soft and tender, and I'm here for it.
Thank you for this story!
Author's Response: I'm so glad you enjoy it! This chapter was a favorite of mine to write!
Date: July 14, 2020 09:30 pm Title: Magical Mystery Ride
"They’d spent years chasing each other in circles, neither catching up until Jim turned around and ran smack into her, finally colliding their lives to become one. It took Pam a bit to gain consciousness from the hit, but now that she was awake and he was there, she was ready to dive into the deep end with him."
LOVED that part. What an absolutely perfect way to describe their relationship up until this point. This story is fantastic, I love it!!
Author's Response: Thank you! I was a bit hesitant about that part actually so I'm glad you liked it as much as I did!
Date: July 08, 2020 09:49 am Title: Perfect Imperfections
This is such a great alternative to series 3 you have written pam and Jim amazingly well here. I can't wait to see what happens next.
Author's Response: I agree, this is a much better alternative to season 3! Thanks for reading!
Date: July 07, 2020 05:45 pm Title: Perfect Imperfections
This is much better than the blank page I was greeted by last time, so you're already winning!
I don't know what to put here really. I liked it, and I want to read more. The echos of last chapter are of course strong, and now I'm looking forward to seeing where they go from here.
Author's Response: Thanks, DG! New update just posted!
Date: July 06, 2020 11:14 am Title: Perfect Imperfections
Well, I'm glad that Jim felt how much he messed up and how much this 'Evolved Halpert' wasn't him. I'm still sorry for Karen though...
But oh, how in sync he was with Pam! Just lovely to watch :)
Author's Response: So happy you're enjoying it!
Date: July 06, 2020 01:23 am Title: Perfect Imperfections
I love how you’re giving up both perspectives of the entire day, not just jumping to Jim’s after the kiss in the car. It really fills in those Karen blanks.
“His heart felt guilty that he’d thought of Karen as just someone standing in the way of his happiness.” Damn. I like his awareness here.
Jim noticing that Pam brewed his preferred blend of coffee is everything that is good in this world.
“He figured he would always carry a bit of this for the rest of his life.” That’s heavy. But at the same time, using Karen is pretty low in Jim’s dating history (although is dumping Katy without warning on the Booze Cruise worse?) I can imagine he would carry it.
The tension as he follows her to the elevator is so, so great. I think I forgot to breathe the entire time he was in her space. And then the car, oh boy, I love the car...
Author's Response: The car was so fun to write! I can imagine he would carry some remorse about Katy, but maybe not as much as Karen...not positive myself!
Date: July 05, 2020 06:18 pm Title: Perfect Imperfections
Great way to show what was going on in Jim's head through all this. I loved the fact he knew who it was that brewed that particular brand of coffee. How even after leaving and coming back they're still so in tune with each other. I get the feeling that they have a lot to say to each other. To explain not just why they acted the way they did on Merger Day, but also get everything else out in the open too. The way you have them being in sync non-verbally is so great, when they really start talking though, I'm sure will be just as good. Whether that happens tonight in this story or tomorrow morning is also ok by me. After all there are important things and then there are "important" things. ;)
Lovely as always to seen an update.
Author's Response: I haven't decided the direction I'll be going just yet with that, but agreed, they need to chat! Thanks for reviewing!
Date: July 05, 2020 12:10 am Title: My End and My Beginning
Oh, I have so many mixed feelings... On the one hand, I want to pump my fist because they finally on the same page. I want to scream in delight because their silent communication is so genuine and pure. I want to melt into a puddle at "Come home with me" and "he'd follow her anywhere."
But, on the other — poor Karen. My heart hurts for her. I don't like her to be around Jim in any role other than colleague/friend, and her collision with Pam was quite rude, but... she doesn't deserve to make these changes in her life only to be dumped. Jim was an ass with her... I hope in the next chapter would be something that justified him a little.
Author's Response: Jim is a total ass to her for sure. I'm about to post the next update so I hope it justifies him just a tad more!
Date: July 04, 2020 10:22 pm Title: My End and My Beginning
Love this update! I love that they are together way sooner than canon! Love your writing! Can't wait for more and thank you for sharing.
Author's Response: If only this is how it had all happened! Thank you for your sweet compliment!