Date: August 15, 2020 06:41 pm Title: Chapter 5: closed, but not forgotten
Very much on point with the angst. I do wonder--you say it will continue with the episodes, but the arc you've sketched here emotionally is different than canon: Pam and Jim have talked a bit about the show, and Pam isn't single right now. So does that mean a different pace for their relationship going forward?
Date: August 15, 2020 05:21 pm Title: Chapter 3: status quo and chinks
So...no points to Paul if Jim was able to get there first. But mainly of course never any points to Roy. This is doing a good job of staying on story without being duplicative of what is canon, if you know what I mean.
Date: August 15, 2020 05:16 pm Title: Chapter 2: we are moving back and forth
Interesting choice to change Oscar and Gil's interactions with Pam at the show to positive. I'm generally leery of OCs but given you said you considered Danny I definitely think a non-salesman is an improvement.
Date: July 25, 2020 08:42 pm Title: Chapter 5: closed, but not forgotten
“sometimes in her charade Pam forgot Jim was human too” Oh, I absolutely love this. The idea that Pam can control all these elements of the narrative she’s telling apart from Jim and that’s where the whole thing becomes a little more dangerous. So good.
“It was almost robotic, but comfortable.” It’s funny (in a way) because this is essentially the life Pam was living with Roy... And now Jim is living it with Karen.
Oh boy. The moon bounce. I’m feeling all the feelings. Talking about the art show. Ahhh. There’s some confident Pam in there demanding an answer. My heart.
This was a really lovely, well written chapter. I get them needing to resolve the art show.
Date: July 25, 2020 04:10 pm Title: Chapter 5: closed, but not forgotten
Yes, all sorts of angsty here. Both of them trying to move on, both of them still having thoughts wrapped up about the other one. From where I sit, they're nowhere near over each other. Even as they tell each other they are and want to be, the heart knows what the heart wants.
Each time I see an update I wonder if this will be the chapter they'll finally get together. Looks like we still have a little more to go in that regard.
Date: July 14, 2020 09:05 am Title: Chapter 4: being fancy sucks
Lots of emotions all over the place here. I feel like they're both giving each other hugely mixed signals through everything. Hugging, kissing, are we friends, do we want more, what are they trying to tell me. They're both all over the place.
Now in the general timeline of JAM this fits. In canon this is one of the lowest spots of their relationship. So in that sense you've got their emotions spot on.
I have no idea what's gong to happen from here on out. You're doing a great job at keeping people guessing that's for sure.
Author's Response: Thank you so much for reading and staying with this. I am glad the emotions are coming off right! :)
Date: July 14, 2020 04:13 am Title: Chapter 4: being fancy sucks
“she looked at him with such an ache written all over her that Jim forgot about everything else” Oh, my heart. I love this scene so very much. Of course Jim is drawn to her side in the face of aggressive Roy.
“He opened the door to find Pam standing there” Yes!
Ugh. So much good, and so much left unsaid. There are hints of Fancy New Beesly and courage, but the honesty is not quite there yet.
I don’t think Pam realizes how cruel she’s being pushing Jim to reaffirm their friendship, after she’s essentially pushed him away once again... The angst factor is certainly strong here, but it doesn’t seem completely unbelievable. I hope Pam finds a little more honesty with her courage soon!
Author's Response: Thanks so much for this review! I am glad it does feel believable and isn't way over the top. Glad you are liking this! :)
Date: July 14, 2020 02:54 am Title: Chapter 4: being fancy sucks
Ahhh the angst. I would love to shake pam! I'm really engrossed in this you have written Jim and pam perfectly. They are both so stubborn. Really hope they get their act together soon even so I can't help but like Paul but I really need some Jim and pam closeness xx
Thanks so much for reading! Glad you like it.
I wanted to do more with Paul but I am finding myself focussing more on jim/pam nevertheless lol!
Date: July 13, 2020 01:17 pm Title: Chapter 4: being fancy sucks
Please when is the romance and fluff coming? It’s amazing angst but I hope there is an end in sight
Author's Response: Haha I am sorry I love season 3 angst. But as I am going episode-wise, it will end soon :) Thanks for reading!
Date: July 08, 2020 10:25 pm Title: Chapter 3: status quo and chinks
Really enjoying this story! Paul seems sweet, but of course he's no Jim. I'm excited to see how the next chapter goes, between Roy, Paul and Karen, with Jim and Pam trying to figure out how they fit in! :)
Author's Response: Thanks for reading! Jim and Pam need some serious figuring out to do LOL.
Date: July 08, 2020 08:47 am Title: Chapter 3: status quo and chinks
Wow! Lots of emotions on this one. I loved how described everything with Pam as being increasing chinks in the armor around Jim's heart. Cleary Casino Night hurt him deeply so he put up guards. However here we can easily see that despite everything his head is saying, Pam is the one who can always get through those defenses.
Simillar with Pam. How she's not letting things get to serious with Paul. Easy dates, a few kisses, but that's really it. Deny it all she wants her heart still longs for Jim.
It's really felt like something needs to break and if feels like that's happened with Roy's drunken encounter here. Nothing like the heat of a moment to make things clear. Paul doesn't know her, Jim does, and it's finally in Jim's arms that she really feels safe. Hopefully she remembers that despite all the margaritas. I know I loved the fact that she finally feels safe in Jim's arms.
Speaking of that confornation, loved that as soon as he sees what's happening, Jim's at her side. Rage and agony as you say, but he's there. And in front of both Karen and Paul. The next chapter should be really interesting to read. Nice job with this one.
Thanks so much for such a detailed review!
I always felt it was quite clear to both of them suring S3 that all the feelings were just right there but they judt didn't know how to go about it.
Hope you like where this is going! Thanks for reading.
Date: July 08, 2020 03:44 am Title: Chapter 3: status quo and chinks
Oooh yes, I like that you’ve maintained the tone of canon here. Jim’s reactions make a lot of sense through that lens.
Somehow picturing Paul as Mark Brandanawicz automatically makes me find him just a little bland - every though he seems like a super sweet guy. I just... Mark is not my fave... That said, I’ve definitely got a clear visual!
I got too caught up in reading to review the last chapter, but the line where Paul says his last name is Bernard, but quickly distances himself from Andy was hilarious!
Both these chapters were lovely. I like that you’re essentially following the episode storylines with your original story weaved throughout. This ending has me so keen to see what happens next!
Thanks so much! I am glad keeping the episode tone makes sense.
Hehe, well, sweet and bland was what I had in mind when I was writing Paul so that's good.
Thanks so much for reading and reveiwing!