Date: May 11, 2023 02:52 pm Title: Chapter 6
Very sweet, would love to sit on such a gorgeous porch and enjoy a night like that.
Date: January 18, 2021 11:14 am Title: Chapter 6
I'm super happy you got more Jim and Pam time here too! I'm glad to see their dynamic and their appeal to each other being developed a little more. And I appreciated that it's mainly just them having a fun, normal night with real conversation about real things. You can see them working in real life, as opposed to just on dates.
You worked some good comic moments into this one - obviously Singer giving Pam the silent treatment was great, but the slapstick with Jim finding out Pam needed him, his awkward moment with soaking wet Pam (and hye, now you can use the Wet Jim/Pam tag!) and Singer trying to be his assistant. Plus, you worked some of them Noticing each other in between. There were some really funny visuals here.
A *very* interesting development with Roy's backstory. He may have hoped he wasn't his father's son, but I suspect his controlling nature and hatred of weakness are things he shares with him, and maybe he's aware of it.
Date: January 18, 2021 03:47 am Title: Chapter 6
Ooooh, finally some Roy backstory. That’s not at all what I expected his motivation to be... It garners some sympathy, but at the same time, he’s still giving off a super weird/creepy vibe so I can’t feel all that sorry for him...
“I won’t stop thinking of you.” There’s that creepy vibe again.
“It was gradual, like a sunrise, growing warmer and brighter as the minutes passed, and the next thing he knew it was morning and everything felt brand new.” This line is absolute perfection. I love it so much.
Big yes to those thoughts about starting to see Jim in more of a relationship sort of light!
1 [Report This]Date: January 17, 2021 08:55 pm Title: Chapter 6
As he tied the bag closed, she imagined for a moment, just a moment, that this wasn’t happening right now. It was happening sometime in the future, just another ordinary evening in a long procession of evenings together.
This whole chapter was so good! But I really loved this little bit. You’re writing their dance around each other really really well. And I can’t wait to find out what Roy is up to. Nothing good, I’m sure. Can’t wait for the next update!
1 [Report This]Date: January 17, 2021 05:00 pm Title: Chapter 6
Starting out with Roy. That's one helluva backstory you've given him. How I read it is that now as an adult he's got a bit of a hero complex to him. He has to be strong, thus everyone needs to be strong too. If what he sees isn't strong it's his duty to whisk them away to a better place. It give a really good insight into his character. However his approach is of course flawed. Pam doesn't need to be rescued. If he really paid attention to her, he'd realize that. She's very happy where she is even if it's not big and exciting. Setting up what feels like a very interesting conflict there.
Speaking of Pam, part of me is starting to think she's seeing Jim as more than just a friend. Singer goes right to him when the dog snarls at any other guy. Good boy Singer, have another good boy treat. When she's in a tough spot the first person she turns to is Jim. Then they have the kind of evening she DOES dream about. Not hot air balloons or fancy dinners. Just an easy time with pizza on the porch. Feels like she gets another glimpse of the life she really wants. One that's full of love, is steady, and warm. Hopefully soon she realizes that all she wants is right there, she just has to reach out and take it.
Jim is also great here. He's just there for her. The fact he's not trying to impress her with a big gesture feels a lot more impressive for her than any extravagant date she might go on. He spends time listening to her, letting her talk about what she wants, not what he is trying to impress on her. It's the slow easy way that I really feel will ultimatly win her heart. He may feel inadaquate, but what he's doing is speaking her laungauge more than anything.
Back to Pam real quck. The last line is what is making me think she's seeing Jim as more than a friend. She's trying to deny it, but it really feels that she can't help but have feelings for him. Her heart knows what it wants (as does her dog) but her brain is in the way. But there may be a few cracks forming in her mental wall. Looking foward to see if those cracks get any bigger. Great chapter.
1 [Report This]Date: January 17, 2021 09:12 am Title: Chapter 6
Awww aly. This was such a good chapter. Roy's backstory is very telling of his behavior, and I especially liked how the way he beats himself up over his reaction to Pam not wearing her locket reflects the way he's struggling.
And then, of course, the Jim/Pam interactions were awesome. I got MAJOR S2 vibes, which is always a sign of well-written dialogue. I loved them eating pizza together, and Pam realizing there's a happy casualness with Jim that she's felt with Mark, too. Like both of them, I wanted their conversation to never end.
1 [Report This]Date: January 16, 2021 08:50 pm Title: Chapter 6
UGH these two. I love their friendship and I love how they talk to each other about Mark and everything else. I also need Pam to listen to her DOG. Something is up with Roy and we all know it, Singer included.
I just really love this little world you have put them in and basically I just want to be friends with them and live by them and have Jim fix my car, okay?!
1 [Report This]Date: January 16, 2021 08:50 pm Title: Chapter 6
UGH these two. I love their friendship and I love how they talk to each other about Mark and everything else. I also need Pam to listen to her DOG. Something is up with Roy and we all know it, Singer included.
I just really love this little world you have put them in and basically I just want to be friends with them and live by them and have Jim fix my car, okay?!