Date: December 01, 2020 10:27 am Title: Law and Order: DMS
Ooh I liked this one. This is the kind of messed up stuff I sit around and wonder about when my friends. I loved everyone’s rationale for why they chose who they chose and how almost everyone picked Michael as the victim. Creed giving random names is spot on. Really everyone’s voices were excellent, once again.
I think Meredith might be the most likely to kill somebody, although inadvertently. Hitting someone with her car, them falling through a hole in her floor that she’d covered with a rug, getting rabies from a rat she lets live in the basement. Stuff like that. I feel like truthfully Erin might be the most likely to be a victim...she’s too trusting!
Author's Response: Thank you! I had far too much fun writing this. (I have several backstories I invented for myself just because I couldn't stop thinking about this one.) And I really appreciate you saying so about the voices - was a big concern here. 100% agree - Meredith would've gone much higher if it weren't for the no-accidental-deaths rule. She's fundamentally good-hearted, but kind of a disaster waiting to happen. You're probably right about Erin, sad to say - although I hold out hope that they'd find her too bright and cheerful to murder in the end.
Date: November 26, 2020 04:56 am Title: Law and Order: DMS
Laughing out loud right now. Creed's line "Lester" was what did me in.
Honestly, darjeeling, those guys at the writers' room really missed A LOT of fantastic opportunities when they didn't look for you and hired you to write their cold openings. Lack of vision!
Author's Response: I've got to be honest, I've gone back and forth a few times on who Creed means there, too. My theory is Roy, which would make Creed pretty sharp in his way... but who knows? You are far too kind, Kuri. Thanks for taking the time to review!
Date: October 03, 2020 05:26 pm Title: Law and Order: DMS
So I've just discovered these cold opens - they're incredible! And hilarious. I actually laughed out loud at several points during this. You've captured all of their voices so well I can see all of this happening on screen: and it's so amazing that you've managed to do that in your writing just with dialogue and a few stage directions. (Did you secretly used to be a writer on the show?) And obviously I love the little Jim and Pam moments woven in. The network notes also really cracked me up (YES on the random attempts to make Andy a romantic lead that season). This is all just brilliant!
Author's Response: Thank you so much! That's an amazing thing to hear, I really appreciate it, especially about capturing the voices - I'm always really concerned they're just going to end up sounding exactly like me. (Look, I get it, Ed Helms was becoming a movie star at this time, it made sense from a business perspective to put him out front, but from a creative standpoint, you're kind of asking us to forget A LOT about Andy.) So glad to hear you enjoyed this!
Date: September 27, 2020 08:24 am Title: Law and Order: DMS
"Most likely Non-Dwight Dunder Mifflinite to commit murder." Creed. He litterally came into the office covered in blood one day. The only reason no one suspected him was because it was Halloween.
"Most likely Non-Micheal to be a murder victim" I'm sorry to say this, but Erin. She's a little to trusting and naive. Easily able to be lured into a trap. Most everyone else probably has a bit more wherewithal to avoid something like that. Sorry Erin.
So anyways, this was fun. I'm really enjoying this series. As a writing technique to find everyone's voiced I think you're really doing a great job. Pam's shy little nod of embarrasment. Jim explaining things. Oscar and Kevin going back and forth. Even Dwight's tone of boredom, not to mention the order of his list. Everyone sounds great.
The Network notes and the Forward to Legal are just a ton of fun too. More please!
Author's Response: Creed did spend a lot of the 1960s high. It's possible he's killed many people. There would be no way of knowing. Erin's an interesting pick! I've been thinking of this mostly in terms of who's likeliest to provoke someone to try to murder them, but Erin is definitely *very* prone to being manipulated. I'm glad the voices are coming through well! The next step is developing Karen and Michael voices. *shudders* More is coming soon! Glad you're enjoying these!
Date: September 27, 2020 07:58 am Title: Law and Order: DMS
Okay, this is excellent! The way you capture everyone's voice is outstanding! And I kinda like dark humor sometimes, so this story is my cup twice!
Especially I want to point at Pam's choice of a possible murderer (totally agree with her!) and Meredith's plan (firstly, it's so, so fun and absolutely in her character, secondly, I have of an idea to combine Pam and using poison in one of my own stories, so...)
I hope you have more ideas for this series because they all are fantastic! Thank you!
Author's Response: I'm thrilled to hear the voices work - and to find someone else enjoyed the darkness. (This is definitely my favorite of these so far.) I think Pam made a smart call - especially because in my head she wasn't at the original gathering and managed to pick up Toby despite being like the 7th pick. Personally I'm with Oscar, though. And I very much want to see what you do with Pam using poison. There should be a few more coming... glad you're enjoying them!
Date: September 27, 2020 05:29 am Title: Law and Order: DMS
Another great one. Once again I can hear and picture them all in the talking Heads. Love Michael’s. He is hard to write as and you nailed it. Pam’s too. The way she gets excited when she knows what Jim has said, that totally came through. It’s so clever too (if a little dark but I’m as much a fan of L&O SVU as the Office so I’m there). Grinning with glee as I’m reading the Forward to legal part. So funny.
How do you come up with the ideas? Are you really Schur posing as one of us?
Keep these up. They are so entertaining.
Oh and Kevin. 3 words and it was him. And Ryan’s ‘putting in the effort’ spot on. I could go on and on.
Author's Response: Thank you so much, that's great to hear! I am... not wild about Michael as a character (I feel like I get more stunned by him each rewatch) and I'm glad to hear that's not stopping me from writing him effectively. Always nice to discover someone else who appreciates a little darkness. :) I can guarantee you that I'm not Schur - although I am tooling around with a The Office/Good Place AU, so there's that? (For the record, Ryan's actual first choice was Jim, whenever Pam started dating seriously again, but he didn't quite have the guts to say that with Jim at the table.)
Date: September 27, 2020 03:21 am Title: Law and Order: DMS
Are you ever going to run out of very unique disclaimers? That’s the real question here...
This was pure chaos - which for a cold open, particularly a rejected one totally fits. I think I liked your Oscar voice the best. It’s not an easy choice though! They’re all a whole lot of fun.
Author's Response: I've got a lot more disclaimers ready to go than I do stories ready to post, so I think we may be good for a while. There are a lot of good rants to drop some legalese in in this show. Oscar's really fun to play with because he's relatively normal and kind of detached observer in his own mind, but is actually pretty prone to get involved in office shenanigans. I'm glad you enjoyed them!