You must login (register) to review or leave jellybeans
Reviewer: darjeelingandcoke Signed [Report This]
Date: October 26, 2020 04:26 pm Title: Chapter 5 - Canvas

For the record, I like the title change! And it fits in well with All That Glitters Is Gold well!

Author's Response: Thanks. Now I am trying to figure out what to name the series since I am already working on 2 more stories that tie back to the main story.  


I’ll serialize once I’ve come up with a name. 

Reviewer: darjeelingandcoke Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: October 20, 2020 07:26 pm Title: Chapter 5 - Canvas

Well, call me goofy, but I missed the entire time theme developing (so that's how Frequency made the list!), and that all came together in quite clever fashion. (AND while I still don't have a precise title to suggest, it does occur to me there might be something to be done with the idea that a lot of high quality watches are stainless steel?)

And the way you brought it back around to the painting she didn't want to show anyone before them was just beautiful - a lovely sentiment and something that I feel like would've been very true to Pam in this period of their relationship.

And I think this is a solid explanation for WHY Jim didn't ask her to marry him until when he did. I do think it's maybe more about fear than he's admitting to himself, but the importance of making sure they get the timing right for this next step feels like something that would've weighed on him.

Personally, I like the idea of doing this all as a series - leaves you more room to write it as you'd like it without trying to reconcile a couple of different ideas into a single narrative. Like I like the way this one wrapped up, but definitely being able to jump over in the story where you bring it all the way around would be fun.

Kudos on putting the cap on this one! This was a fun ride through this particular relationship milestone.

Author's Response:

Ok - Goofy.

I'm a little surprised as you are usually so tuned in you sometimes pick up on things that even I didn't know I meant. But I hope the big reveal moment made it that much more satisfying - yeah, I know TWSS.

So I'm thinking maybe Golden Sands - now that it's completed I can give away an element from end. What do you think? 

Yeah, I'm starting to lean into the series idea. I'll keep on with the main story but now have a few more offshoots I'm thinking can tie back.

I'm glad you enjoyed the ride...it feels good to have a completed story. Thanks for all your commentary, insights and praise. It makes writing these all the more fun to see how others react.  

 

Thanks heaps again - see you in another cold open.

 

 

 

Reviewer: warrior4 Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: October 20, 2020 12:40 pm Title: Chapter 5 - Canvas

Lovely painting, especially with the associcated meaning behind it all. Loved the theme that worked through it all. Great way to bring everything together like that. It was sweet to read with each chapter.

I don't think you need to add this to "All that Glitters," but that doens't mean you can't reference it. Series' are fun since you can expand a lot more. I've done that a lot with my "Jamie and Morgan," series. However it's also you story to write.

Also I really like Jim's proposal speech there. Granted we know what he said in canon, but buidling a story around that would make for a really fun AU.

Great job with this one.

Fortes Fortuna Adiuvat
(Fortune Favors the Bold)

Author's Response:

Thanks for your reviews and commentary throughout. It feels great to have a story completed. Now I can get back to my regularly scheduled programming. 

As I moved toward the end of this I was leaning more and more towards series - especially with a few other ideas floating around that fit in this universe. I'll likely take that approach. 

I did always think Jim could have done more with the proposal but cut him slack because - "When you realizes you want the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible." -Harry Burns, When Harry Met Sally

Perhaps a one-off - "Other Ways Jim could have Proposed"   - Maybe an Open Series? 

Thanks as always for the insights, advice and praise. 

 

Reviewer: darjeelingandcoke Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: October 18, 2020 06:47 pm Title: Chapter 4 - Prank

Okay, the detail about Pam getting Jim to come over to retrieve things from high shelves that she absolutely needs right now, promise is just unbelievably cute and very believably them.

The movie marathon is a good note, and well-selected (and Pam's right - Frequency is an underrated movie).

As you might have guessed, I am a sucker for some good office hijinks and ensemble fun, and I'm psyched you ended up including it! You've got some good stuff going on here - Michael's misuse of words (and Oscar being the one to correct him) and subsequent conference meeting (you hit the Michael beats well!), some quality Kelly banter. And Pam's prank is genius and shows her soft spot for Dwight (and to a lesser extent Jim's) all at once. It's a quality prank - basically harmless but bound to drive Dwight insane.

Author's Response: You might recall the set up for the second shelf bit from chapter 5 of All the Glitters (or you might not since you read so much) but either way I’m glad you enjoyed it.  


Right, wasn’t Frequency so good?
 
I think I have the most fun and am the most proud of when writing the office antics. I was Really happy with Kelly bit.  Wasn’t sure if the Michael stuff would land so thanks.   My favorite was actually the Angela line. And I only wish there was a way to phonetically get across Toby’s whiny slurry quiet speaking tone.  I feel like he always has to be heard to get the tone.  

Thanks as always for reviewing.   

In the home stretch of this one.  

Reviewer: warrior4 Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: October 17, 2020 09:04 pm Title: Chapter 4 - Prank

First of all, the movie marathon and card were absolutely the third present. Nice little saucy line there to get us going.

The whole "I need something on the 2nd shelf" passage was just a delight. They've always had kind of their own way of communicating, but this adds such a lovely layer to that. It's fun, it's teasing, it's adorable. Especially when Jim starts to do things like jump out of the bushes or come into the kitchen in a towel. You're doing a fantastic job of getting their BF/GF banter back and forth. Then of course the whole Jim lets the towel down to smash cut of "well we were both kind of late to work." Just brilliant. You're less is more leave it to the imagination for scenes like that approach is working great.

Love that the next gift is also a prank. And yeah, if I were Jim I'd upgrade the grade to A+ after she explains everything. That was just a solid prank.

Loved the Dwight sidebar. You're right, Jim and Dwight may have started out as rivals, but in the end they're friends. The sibling rivalry fits nicely. Likewise the friendship between Dwight and Pam is lovely to read as well.

Great chapter.

Author's Response:

Thanks again -big smiles here reading your review. 

since the timeline was bouncing all over the place on this one and with the dream sequence I wanted to establish it was that morning at the onset. If it was saucy well that was a bonus.

 

I'm not sure if you recall the first mention of the 2nd shelf back in Chapter 5 of All that Glitters... (I know you read so many stories you may not remember) but I wanted to bring it back as a running thing for them. It really came to life as I wrote right up to being late for work. I was really happy with how it came together.

 Likewise with the prank, and the whole office scene. I enjoy writing JAM fluff and stuff but the challenge and fun writing for the ensemble really is a hoot. Hope I do a good job jumping into their characters. 

Whenever I watch my boys, I see shades of Jim and Dwight and when I watch Jim and Dwight I see shades of my boys and you know how Pam truly does care for Dwight. 

 

Thanks and hope to see you over at Silver Wings later. I've got my bathing suit and ready to go to Coney Island. 

 

Reviewer: darjeelingandcoke Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: October 16, 2020 11:27 pm Title: Chapter 3 -Football

I’m really enjoying seeing Pam form the beginnings of a bond with her future in-laws – and that said future in-laws are IMMEDIATELY conspiring with her against him.

This is an interesting twist on Pam’s relationship towards football – you often see in fic her finding it boring or being resentful of Roy’s interest, as opposed to it being something that bonds her with other members of her family.

The casual quoting of movie lines feels VERY them. And I’m hooked by the tease of what his presents are going to be.

Sharing the line from the video is A+ parenting from you and Betsy both.

Also: boy, a quick Google search suggests this was a really good fall for Jim to be able to enjoy a new relationship, because there was not much to look forward to on Sundays for Eagles fans. Also, I am definitely thinking about a metallic title for this story...)

Author's Response:

I don't know how much it was alluded to in the show and I'm only first getting to deep dive into the fics but I always saw Pam as a mild football fan. You know being around it with Roy in HS and in what I think of as a kinda football town. Not such a die-hard that she watched every game or her mood depended on how the season was going but one that could follow and even enjoy the games, cheer on her team and even get caught up in the ups and downs of the game if she were watching.  And it would be one more thing that would draw a sports fanatic like Jim to her - her being able to talk FB. and yes, it was not a good season.

They are watching a lot of movies right now. Little Red envelopes are in the mailbox everyday (do you know what I'm referring to?)

Sarcasm or real - not sure my teen agreed with your grading when I showed her the video. But he's a good sport.

Looking forward to updating with a AKA for my little story with a credit to you.

Thanks as always!!!!! 

 

 

 

Reviewer: Makeda526 Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: October 16, 2020 09:10 pm Title: Chapter 1 - Dolly

Can’t wait for the next update. Love it so far’

Author's Response:

 

Thanks - that's really great to hear, especially since I took time off from my main story to focus on this one.

When the idea came to me I really was excited about it and I'm glad you enjoyed it. More coming soon.

Always appreciate hearing from readers so many thanks again. :)

 

Reviewer: warrior4 Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: October 16, 2020 03:59 pm Title: Chapter 3 -Football

Well done on the football research. Going back to find details of a real world event like that must have been tricky so kudos to you.

Yes a little disappointing the Eagles lost, but more than made up for in the sense that Pam slides so nicely into the Halpert family. They're warm and accepting of her and it's a joy to envison.

Nice little domestic scene there back at Pam's place. They are just happy being with each other and it's great.

Also sorry this is kind of late, but to answer one of your questions from a couple chapters ago. The family's doing fine. Still getting used to new routines, but they're coming.

Author's Response:

#1 - As you can see I have given up on sleep - consider it my stand in unity with you (and/or Mrs. Warrior) as with I have been there and know how little you exist on in the early days.

#2 - As soon as those routines really set in they will change but glad everyone is doing well. What an amazing time you have ahead. Enjoy it all.

 on to story...

Football research actually should have been easy - with the Internet you should be able to find everything BUT one of the stat sites had it wrong and it became harder than it should. But all the stat-seeking I was able to get into the game watching mindset.

 I feel very at home with them - glad you enjoy my depiction.

Keeping this short to get back to some reading - wink wink.

Thanks for your insights and reviews always.

 

Reviewer: WanderingWatchtower Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: October 15, 2020 09:54 pm Title: Chapter 2 - Golf

What a sweet update! :) I love seeing their families incorporated into fics and you did a nice job with that here. And the picture was an excellent touch!

Author's Response:

I feel like someone asked about meeting the parents fics recently and almost shared it would be coming. More in next chapter too.
Big moment  -meeting the folks - didn't want to tackle the first time but I thought I could handle meeting number 2. It must have taken a lot for Pam to reach out to arrange the golf but anything for her Jim.

Glad you liked the art. Really liked the idea of making story more visual.

Thanks as always for reviewing. Love to see what my fellow JAMmers think. 

Reviewer: darjeelingandcoke Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: October 15, 2020 07:53 pm Title: Chapter 2 - Golf

I really love this portrait of the early months of JAM - feels very accurate to them. Very strong details like Pam's mini-golf skills making a match take the same time as a regular golf game.

I'm also pleased you explored Jim's decision-making process about the ring. We don't read a lot about the time between him being it and Chair Model, but it's interesting to get a sense of where his head was at this point and how he's working through his decision on when to pop the question.

For the record, I think the idea of digging into Jim and Pam's relationships with each other's families is very worthwhile - it certainly feels like it would be a concern of THEIR parents, given their history and recent experiences, and I think it gives the whole piece more depth.

Adding in the artwork was creative - it's an odd thing with writing Jim and Pam stories, because such a huge part of Pam's life is expressed visually, and I think it's a really strong touch to try to account for that.

(Also, I love the note that Jim hadn't seen The Graduate, considering how much Benjamin Braddock gets referenced in early seasons Jam fic! And I think copper-headed is a reasonable compromise on Pam's hair color.)

Author's Response:

I've got one word for you, Plastics. The Graduate is a weird movie but iconic movie. It's what I pictured in the dream sequence when they ran away so I made this the foreshadowing element.

I'm into Metallics- Gold, Copper  - Think of an alt title for this story that is metallic and I'll make you some art for your next story.

Anyway, onto your review (thanks for always taking the time to go deep). I like to think it was a tricky decision due to their history and situation (when to pop Q) but I won't go into it too much here. But hearing his say how nervous he was (season 7) always sticks with me - glad I didn't have to do it. ****SPOILER ALERT FRIENDS*** (I think about the line from, and forgive me for bringing up Friends, about the reason girls don't.

Families are so important...I know on show it wasn't about the families but I think they hint at the strength of the relationship they had with each other's and I wanted to bring it to life some more.

I was excited to add artwork - part of the reason why I chose to jump to this story (since I had the vision to add it here) and temporarily neglect ATGIG but I hope to be back on that soon, too. 

There I go being wordy again so I'll finish off by saying THANKS.

 

Reviewer: warrior4 Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: October 15, 2020 04:21 pm Title: Chapter 2 - Golf

The inclusion of the artwork was just lovely. Espeically with the little "Beesly" there in the corner. Great addition to this update.

I think as writers we always add part of ourselves to our writing. Write what you know and writing is easier and what does someone know better than their own life and experiences?

Jim's thoughts as the day progressed were great. How he's just glad to be with Pam that everything else is just extra. I like that Pam is also setting things up that they don't have to be together all the time. Yes together time is nice, but it's a good sign of trust that they don't have to be. Show's she not a clingy girlfried who has to be attacted to his hip and the same for him. However here she also gives him time with his family. She's setting a wonderful president that family is imporant and I love that.

Great job.

Author's Response:

Thank you, thank you, thank you. 

I do put so much of my own experiences into my writing as I know a lot of us do. I hope I have the kind of relationship I wrote about with the wives of my boys someday. It is something I do think about especially as they get older. It was hard to express in a sentence or two but I hope it came across.

As for the art, I was thinking about how excited she would be to share her art with someone who was truly excited by it. And with her own true happiness it would change the tenor of her art and there would be a lot more of it around.  And I want to bring it to life somehow. Glad you enjoyed it. 

Reviewer: warrior4 Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: October 13, 2020 10:00 am Title: Chapter 1 - Dolly

So that was a fun way to start out things. The dream sequence stuck home, things randomly changing from one thing to the next but while in the dream they make complete sense. Why wouldn't Katy turn into Dolly Parton? Of course they go right from the boat to Pam's bedroom.

Don't feel bad about not getting into graphic detail about things. Many times less is more. You did a good job with that here.

Love that Pam is right there with Jim and they're set to have a good time together. Looking forward to where this goes.

Author's Response:

Hey Warrior,

Thanks as always for your review. Always love to hear from you.

I do like to leave more to the imagination (at least when it come to the sex - everything else I go on and on about, right?) and glad to hear that the less is more approach works here.

I'm really into this story and hope it will be enjoyed as much as I enjoyed working on it. There a new thing I'm trying out starting in the next chapter.

Stay tuned.

Best to you.

PS how is the family? 

Reviewer: WanderingWatchtower Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: October 13, 2020 09:48 am Title: Chapter 1 - Dolly

Okay, I loved this dream. Haha it perfectly, but not glaringly, included so many little nuggets from the show. It was great.

I’m not opposed to reading a little smut, but if I’m being completely honest I think I prefer reading steam that walks the line of smut and you did a great job. :)

Author's Response:

WW-

Thanks for the review - nice to hear the love for this piece especially since it started so different.

I was so excited to see your Islands in the Stream piece since I was just finishing mine at the time. I knew you'd be in tune with where my nuggets came from. Crazy thing was that the other day my son came downstairs singing 9 to 5 (I have no idea where he even heard that song) and then my hubby was flipping stations a day later and there was this documentary piece about Dolly on TV (which he wound up watching). So many coincidences around this story.  I'm only a little stitious but took it as a sign. 

I'm really into this story and I hope the gang here will enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it. I've go a little something coming in next chapter I hope works so stay tuned.

As for the steam, I too like it a little less detailed - so glad to hear that it works the way I approached it. 

 Thanks again. 

 

 

Reviewer: darjeelingandcoke Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: October 13, 2020 08:59 am Title: Chapter 1 - Dolly

Personally, I think steam as opposed to, you know, showing the fire can work really well, so I'm all good.

The dream was charmingly bizarre. Jim's subconscious sounds like a fascinating place to be, and possibly a lot like its own version of MTT.

(Also, I can't help but think of Cece's reaction to this story. "You were conceived on my birthday, after I had a sex dream about your mother that prominently featured Dolly Parton.")

Author's Response:

Thanks Darjeeling,

I can always count on you for a review that makes me smile with its praise and wit. Pretty funny to think of the stories here are the dreams of our beloved characters.

Dreams are pretty fascinating and I thought that would be fun to explore. 

Some crazy stuff occurred after I finish writing about Dolly -my son came downstairs singing 9 to 5 (who knows how he even knows that song) and my hubby was flipping channels next day and stumbled on a feature on Dolly (and watched it). I'm only a little sticious but weird stuff right?

Glad my "steam" worked. That's my style, too, at least when writing it.

I'm excited about this story and hope you continue to enjoy it.  

You must login (register) to review or leave jellybeans