Date: March 28, 2021 07:41 pm Title: Chapter 13
I love how Jim and Pam have become each other's person so quickly in this story. Like, snuggling to sleep? I love it.
We hadn't seen much of Roy till now, but boy did he come into the spotlight here. I can't wait to see what happens next!
Date: March 27, 2021 01:07 pm Title: Chapter 13
ACH, poor Creed! He's with his horses now. It's strange to think of him being gone, you always sort of thought he was immortal.
I love Dwight being undeterred by murder. This is very much the Dwight who eats his way through the awkwardness of Dinner Party.
How *did* that notebook get back in his room? You have Pam, being there without him... Ryan, free to wander while Kelly and Erin occupied Pam... really any of the staff.... hmmmmmmm. ::suspicious look at Pam, who definitely mentioned yet another possible motive here with her appearance of complicity with any wrongdoing of Roy's::
As stated in chat: my bet is Roy killed Creed, perhaps for having discovered him destroying some evidence of his nefarious doings, but someone else killed Packer. (Probably Pamme Fatale. Or... maybe Erin.)
Date: March 27, 2021 12:18 pm Title: Chapter 13
I know I've told you this numerous times but I am obsessed with this story. You have given us a masterclass on how to weave intrigue and mystery with this ensemble of characters and have it feel so natural. It is so, so good.
Date: March 26, 2021 03:55 pm Title: Chapter 13
RIP Creed. Sorry that he had to go but it’s an interesting choice being that every can assume and seems to assume it was natural causes.
Ah the mystery of the journal book. It does seem very much like it was Pam. It will be interesting to see.
I happen to love Erin and it was nice to get a little bit of her story here too.
You are doing such a wonderful job of weaving tougher the mystery and the love story and keeping us all intrigued.
And then to have it end with that Roy confession. You are quite the queen of cliffhanger.
For once I don’t have to worry about being spoiled in the chat. Yeah me. And yeah you for such a great job with this chapter.
Date: March 26, 2021 11:22 am Title: Chapter 13
Okay first of all, Creed. Ugh I'm so sad for him. He just wanted his horses and old life back and now he's in an icehouse with Packer. And then Jim finding the notebook. Did Pam take it? I keep wanting to think the best of Pam, she couldn't have done anything wrong... but what if she had? Wanted to know if Jim had ulterior motives?
okay but then ROY. Who didn't he mean to kill?? Did he kill both of them? How is Jim going to react to that? Is Jim going to be the next target if Roy finds out about Jim and Pam?? So many questions and I don't know any of the answers but holy crap BT I love thisss.
Date: March 25, 2021 11:41 pm Title: Chapter 13
One cliffhanger resolved and another one shows up. Not that I would really expect anything less in this story. But I'm also getting ahead of myself.
I think it's fitting that Dwight is the only one to have a decent appetite after Creed's body is discovered. Most of the time Dwight is a very practical kind of guy and his theory does seem plausible. However I still feel like there's foul play afoot. Especially since it's Roy that was the one to discover the body.
Lovely time with Jim and Pam there. Even a fun hey/hi moment. So Pam's been doing some snooping of her own. Nice to get some info on a few of the others. I really don't want Pam to be involved in anything nefarious, but she's in his room before he gets there, and now all of a sudden Jim's notebook reappears. Just enough to make one go "hmmmm." But then she has her emotional response there, which seems genuine. So again I say, "hmmmmm." I'm sure you're just grinning with delight as we all try to guess whodunit.
Then Roy. Drunken, slovenly, in vino veritas Roy. "I didn't mean to kill him." I mean how do we even start to process this? Is he talking about Packer? Creed? Someone else? Please update quick as this story just continues to pull one in and leave us all wanting so much more.
Date: March 25, 2021 11:16 pm Title: Chapter 13
First time catching one of these things in the nick of time!
Okay, first off, Creed? How *dare*. Where will we get our Creed Thoughts now? I kid, of course, but I'm just glad he's at peace.
The ending with Roy was ingenious. You captured his actions and mannerisms perfectly here. His absolute drunken state, the knawing guilt, relying on the man he probably already knows is trying to steal his fiance... it's extremely tragic. I'm not sympathetic to Roy, but I can't help but feel that he doesn't deserve what's happening... I'll get to that.
But nooo, Erin! Please! Look, I love Kelly too, but I will say if it was her, we're getting some premiere Ryan moments, and I am here for that.
Phyllis and Andy's revelations were welcome, the latter making complete sense given the canon character's history. He seems fine financially, but Nard Dog will be ruined if the Bernards' reputation tanks. He cares about status more than money.
Okay, the two are Pam and Toby.
Pam? The book and possibly manipulating Roy as she laid peacefully despite all that unrest and Jim is running ragged, probably doing this *for* him in the first place. Sweet Irony.
But... I dunno, Toby just seems more plausible. We now know absolutely nothing about him- heck, we know more about Erin now, the poor thing, and *he knows this house*. Inside and out. And with the book, he not only has an idea of Jim's thought process but also knows exactly which buttons to press, when, and how often. And returning the book is only gonna drive Jim even madder, now that he's crafting an extremely useful alibi in Pam.
Do believe Roy is a killer? Sure. But he's not one to pull the strings, especially not in the state he's in right now. He wants Pam framed and jailed, preventing him or anyone else-especially Jim-from having her.
Michael dogs on him a lot in canon, but if Season 4 has proven anything, he can act like a spineless coward when it comes to Pam, a mere infatuation. Obvious? Not too much, but definitely plausible.
And finally... Never change Dwight, never change.
Date: March 14, 2021 01:23 pm Title: Chapter 12
My head is a little empty after this chapter (my brain is broken again, thanks to you!), but I just want to say I hope it wasn't Erin who was murdered. I mean she might be (she might've found Jim's notebook when she tidied his room and been eliminated as an unwanted witness by the real murderer — I still refuse to accept that it was Pam who stole Jim's notes), but she's such a lovely character, and I don't want her to be hurt...
Date: March 10, 2021 07:29 pm Title: Chapter 12
Oscar... in the sitting room... with the candlestick? You slay me.
I love Jim’s gambit here with Dwight and how perfectly it hits the mark. I'm glad you're showing us Jim being a clever reporter who knows how to get information with people. The Money callback here was also great... I am very interested in what the 1940s version of Sprinkles being euthanized was.
Pam sliding into bed with him and them waking up cuddled together was ADORABLE. And the bathtub scene... wow. Also, very femme fatale move, Pam. #PamIsTheKiller #TeachTheControversy
THAT CLIFFHANGER. HOW DARE YOU, MADAM. PLEASE WRITE FAST.
Date: March 07, 2021 02:47 am Title: Chapter 12
“eclipsing the late afternoon sunlight and giving his every breath a brand new meaning” this is how I feel about my life with your writing in it...
THE BATHTUB. How dare you.
What in the actual cliffhanger fuck is that ending, BT?!!!!! I will be begging you for an update incessantly from this point forwards...
Date: March 04, 2021 12:09 pm Title: Chapter 12
And the murderball begins to roll.
The Agatha Christie novel thing was great, and my word Dwight and Oscar were the absolute highlights of this chapter. The exchanges full of regret and resentment and bitterness are just so eloquently translated. The subtle callback to "Money" and the attitude towards homosexuality at the time does demonstrate Jim's truly empathetic nature, despite his fast-talking snark. Hell, you did this whole love square plot better than the show did.
So the guessing game:
I don't think it's most of the staff. Kevin and Erin are none too bright and total sweethearts (despite the former's gambling problem), Kelly couldn't care less, Creed just wants to be left to his own devices, Devon's not even around half the time, and the closest I can see is Ryan, but he wouldn't really have the motivation or the drive other than Packer's a prick (or his paycheck).
So my three possible culprits now are:
PHYLLIS: We know the least about Phyllis, and her actions indicate she's hiding something.
ANDY: We know even less about Andy, only that he's flamboyant, a singer, and went to Cornell (so, canon). He *does* come from big money, after all; the Bernard family is loaded and can definitely have some secrets, none of which may even involve him. And he is the one who found the next body, so he may be responsible for that murder alone?
Not JIM, not PAM... but TOBY. Who seeks to frame one or both of them for the murders.
- Jim: I've mentioned before his silence towards Pam and his shock when seeing Packer's body being indications of guilt, but there's the fact that he would do *anything* for Pam, how the story has been pushed aside for Pam.
- Pam: His notebook was missing the next morning after he and Pam made love (more on that later), she was gone for a period of time this morning before she cuddled by his side, and if Jim is the genius this story paints him as, he guessed it was her from the start.
- TOBY: He's the HoH. He has access to every room in the vicinity, knows the place inside and out. Kevin is an easy target (the poor thing), as can the other staff... well mostly just Ryan, but that's because he's an ass.
He has barely interacted with anyone in this story, and it's always Jim, always antagonistically. He responded to Packer's death with "stunned silenced", which can easily be faked. He snuck around while the Schruperts were hot on the case.
He knows Laurels' estate inside and out. If anyone can trap all of them there, it's him.
- Jim: Someone is already onto him and has stolen it. Bear in mind, he flipped out when it went missing, and who knows what other info he had *besides* the profiles of the various guests and employees? He may have info of the house itself, he's gone for walks in the past.
- Pam: She knows how smart he is, and he can deduce how any one of them can be framed for their crimes. So she stole it, not to incriminate him but one of the others, giving him the story he's been looking for, a story that will give them a lovely life of luxury.
- TOBY: With the notebook, he now has access to Jim's entire experience in the house so far. And he can easily craft something out of that, something that will incriminate either party. Hell, Jim probably wrote some passages about Pam, giving him more ammo.
- Jim: He wants to write the biggest story The Philidelphia Tribune has ever seen, to give Pam the life she deserves.
- Pam: She's so sick of Roy's bull, of Packer, of this whole damn life and wants to live a fancy new life with Jim, possibly on the run.
- TOBY: obviously his immediate crush on Pam. This probably isn't the first time he's seen her, either; Roy must've visited with Packer a lot and they get along despite the leverage he had over Roy, and Pam - of course - would always tag along. Her bright face and sunny disposition warmed his heart, but he hoped one day Roy can be out of the picture, and that nearly could've happened... but she wants Jim.
And if *Toby* can't have her, *then nobody will*. And both lovers will suffer for it. Because his bitterness and resentment took control of his life.
"'What kind of notes are you taking?'"
"He made an entry for Toby that included only that he was head of the house staff and not that he had sent a chill up Jim’s spine."
"Jim wasn’t sure where Toby’s sudden hostility had come from, but he didn’t care to stick around for more of it."
"Others were missing, too--Kelly and Erin, TOBY, PHYLLIS, Ryan, Michael--but it didn’t matter."
And this is the most telling:
"This outwardly benign line of questioning and the way Toby talked was starting to get underneath Jim’s skin and make him feel...unsettled. And not just because he didn’t know how to answer Toby’s query, but also because he suddenly was struck with the realization that these were people, real people, and he’d been sneaking around the house hoping to dig up dirt on them so he could jot it down in his little leatherbound book."
Jim and Pam seem to be too empathetic and kind to kill someone... but Toby sure isn't. It may be too obvious, but the plausibility and the motives are certainly there. This is why I believe if any of the three *actually* did it, Roy is that dead body Andy found.
My hope is that the ending isn't a tragedy (since that's not one of the genres) and that if either Jim or Pam really *is* the killer, the two have some sort of happy ending (which is legit my only concern right now because *it's well-deserved*.)
If you've ever read my writing, I'm a big fan of character studies, and you got me roped into a piece of fiction that meets that niche.
I can't stand it. Thank you.
Date: March 04, 2021 09:47 am Title: Chapter 12
Just have to get this out of the way. Oscar, in the sitting room, with the candlestick. I mean the set up was perfect.
So a few more puzzle pieces uncovered, but how to they all fit into the whole? Nice use of the canon storylines to have it so Dwight, Angela, and Oscar all have motive.
Pam appearing tucked in next to Jim is all sorts of lovely. Same with their bath. REALLY hoping this isn't some ploy she's got going on to distract him.
Always fun to get an update for this one.
Author's Response: Couldn’t write this story without at least one solid Clue reference!
Date: March 04, 2021 03:39 am Title: Chapter 12
Oh my word this is so good, has me absolutely gripped!
I have a question - do you know who the murderer is already, do you have that plotted out? Or are you just winging it really well? ;)
Author's Response: Maybe a little bit of both! ;)
Date: January 28, 2021 11:02 pm Title: Chapter 11
My brain is melted from being back to work so the coherency of my reviews is down a keleventy percent, but I need you to know that this is perfect & I’m genuinely devastated that Jim and Dwight solving crime in the Savannah isn’t a spin off show that NBC has run with. You should pitch it to them, with this story.
Date: January 27, 2021 10:21 pm Title: Chapter 11
Okay, I am still deeply suspicious of why Packer wanted Wallace here.
I like how this came out when Jim observing Dwight and Angela's relationship. It felt like you struck the right balance between recognizing that the audience feels like they've got a good idea of what the dynamic is, and acknowledging that Jim doesn't and wouldn't just be able to tell somehow.
I will say, I Feel like Pam is still very much alive as a reasonable murder suspect, and I am going to be just tickled pink if you end up going that route. That feels like it would be fascinating. But also, my suspect after this chapter is... Schoolboy Rowe, probably in consultation with Creed, who has been giving him illicit steroid-like substances.
Date: January 27, 2021 08:45 pm Title: Chapter 11
The plot thickens. Proof that Packer has been blackmailing just about everyone there in Savannah. However Roy's not in the ledger. We also still don't know where Jim's notebook is.
You're doing a great job of for every question answered two or three more take its place. I honestly still don't have any idea who the real murderer is. It still could be anyone there.
I do like that one of Jim's motivations is to steal Pam away from everything though. However it's also good that he can push those thoughts aside and focus. Great job.
Can't wait to read more. Hope you can find time to keep up with the writing.
Date: January 27, 2021 03:30 pm Title: Chapter 11
Oh BT! I am so enthralled by this story! All the delightfully intricate details and canon elements woven so seamlessly together, it feels so original. Jim and Dwight working as a team is just perfect. I can’t wait to read all these clues unfolding like a flower in the coming chapters.
Date: January 27, 2021 02:58 pm Title: Chapter 11
“I’m protecting someone I love. That’s all you’ll hear from me.” ...DAMN, THAT HURT
There's that Lipton-Angela-Dwight-Oscar love square mess I've been waiting for! I really feel for Dwight here, the near pet-name got to me.
I love that Jim is pushing for evidence, despite all odds. Even Dwight, who he's already had a rapport with. But he's methodical, too, telling them the truth but with a easy, calming tone. It gains their trust, and thus, spills their secrets. No wonder he wants to write bigger stories.
Angela is SO in character here. Stubborness, denial, regret, deflection... excellent. Also, Oscar, being a Georgian native? Great, now all I can hear is his voice from the real "Murder" episode. "...We'got no greenbacks..." Curious as to what his deal is (outside of the obvious).
I mean... I dunno, I'm still pointing my finger at Phyllis, but we'll see. As I said, Toby is too outwardly weird to be the guy, Michael is well, Michael, and Jim? Okay, I'm going to say no, but I'm keeping that in my back pocket. Not letting that go, not completely.
Still, though, an amazing turn of events, can't wait to read more!
(How did you do this to me?)