Reviews For Murder in Savannah
You must login (register) to review or leave jellybeans
Reviewer: warrior4 Signed [Report This]
Date: December 14, 2020 05:20 pm Title: Chapter 5

More and more layers coming into everything here. Sounds like Stanley, and was that Phyllis in the library, are also under Packer's thumb. Toby showing up like that is also quite interesting. I got it! It was the butler, in the dining room, with the candlestick! Or was that supposed to be Colonel Mustard? Not sure I never really played a lot of Clue.

Then of course to add to everything swirling in Jim's thoughts is the image of Pam just on the other side of the door naked in the tub. Considering the connection they've built up and his total enamoration with her, yeah that would be quite a bit more than distracting. Though well done Jim for staying the gentleman.

Ominous last line there. It feels like Packer is about to meet his fate, however it's also enigmatic enough that it could be something else. Still loving this story. Considering it's a murder-mystery story and we haven't had a murder yet, it proves how skilled a writer you are to keep this all so compelling.

Reviewer: darjeelingandcoke Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: December 14, 2020 04:15 pm Title: Chapter 5

Happy to see this week’s edition!

I love this version of Stanley. No matter what the universe, he remains an intense cruciverbalist, an insatiable adulterer, and someone doesn’t give a hoot about your feelings. Certainly he’s a man with plenty of secrets he might kill to keep… if he could summon up the energy.

Nice seeing Jim getting more and more aware of Packer’s strings, and I’m glad he’s taking better care of his notebook… although I fear it’s too late.

This is a good use of Toby – being Packer’s much-maligned staff manager is basically this universe’s version of running H.R. in Scranton. I’m guessing it’s not Toby, in tribute to Toby not being the Scranton Strangler.

I love this very sweet and very sexy moment with Pam in the bath and Jim’s mind essentially needing to reboot, and Jim trying to work while the moment invades his senses. It’s just very well written. And his use of the fine arts to discuss how he would describe his first sight of her is a nice touch.

I am eagerly awaiting the next chapter after that ending. New theory: Murder on the Orient Express. The victim will be Packer, and the murder will be a conspiracy of virtually everyone.

Reviewer: WanderingWatchtower Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: December 14, 2020 12:46 pm Title: Chapter 5

I just love this story so much, BT. It’s written so well (no surprise) and so intriguing!

“He could have sworn he felt his heart explode before stitching itself back into the shape of her.” This might be my favorite sentence ever. Beautiful description.

Can’t wait for more!!

Reviewer: Kuri333 Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: December 14, 2020 12:16 pm Title: Chapter 5

This was a very interesting chapter. Lots of information and ugh... really getting hot in the end.
I'm looking forward to the next one. Thanks a lot for sharing

Reviewer: nicemorningtoo Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: December 14, 2020 10:50 am Title: Chapter 5

That last sentence made me audibly gasp. Oh man, this is just getting better and better. Jim's reaction to Pam being in the bath and her trusting him to stay was perfect. It almost reminded me of Jim reacting to Pam in his bedroom during his BBQ, just on a whole other level. Your description of Toby was perfect as well. I'm glad you've included him!! This is a great story, BT!!

Reviewer: boredhswf Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: December 07, 2020 01:29 am Title: Chapter 4

I love that the balcony is their little respite where they really connect and that you tied in the ‘not a bad day’ absolutely perfectly. All these little threads of information and characterization are beginning to wind together wonderfully and I can’t wait to see the end result.

Author's Response: Bored, thank you so much! I knew right away that I wanted there to be a balcony and have it be one of the places that they really got to know each other and develop that relationship. I'm so glad you like it! Your reviews and compliments always mean so much!

Reviewer: Dernhelm Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: December 06, 2020 04:47 am Title: Chapter 4

I enjoy your storytelling so much! The beauty of the picture you're painting (rain and thunderstorm — love it! that's probably one of my favorite romantic places — under the rain), these hints on crimes that have been done and that about to happen... and, of course, all the nods to the canon that you weaved into the events of the different era with such excellence.
Can't wait to see the next chapter!

Author's Response: Thank you so much, Dernhelm! I'm a sucker for romantic tropes and I'm so glad to see that you're enjoying them. Thanks for reading and reviewing!

Reviewer: SprinklesTheCat Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: December 05, 2020 07:12 am Title: Chapter 4

Ooh this is so good! The scene on the porch was hot - thank you for bringing wet Jim into things. I love how the mystery is unfolding with Packer and Michael and Roy. Great set up.

Author's Response: Is it too controversial to say that wet Jim is the best Jim? Hmm...maybe my next AU will be a mermaid story so that we can have wet Jim all the time, lol!

Reviewer: 3vasectomies Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: December 04, 2020 02:10 pm Title: Chapter 4

I'm gonna sparse out my reviews with multiple chapters, so I'll cover what I've read so far.

First off, Dwight/Oscar/Angela/Senator Lipton material. I knew it was gonna be there from Chapter 1, but I love how you did it. The fact that both Lipton and Oscar both have a position in government makes the dynamic all the more crushing for Angela, and her bitter resentment towards Dwight contributing to Lipton's campaign is something I didn't expect. Appreciate the Angela/Andy nod as well. Jim's immediate annoyance with Dwight fits with his character and him and Pam bonding over his intricacies makes their story feel straight out of The Office.

Speaking of which, this is a JAM story through and through and I love their portrayal. I think you've accurately translated how one would conversate during this time, and seeing all of these familiar lines and moments executed differently is interesting to see. Jim's line about marriage is very him, and her reaction of contemplative silence is very her. Their connection is there and it's obvious, and to me, it feels a bit more forward than their friendship was in canon (especially with this chapter) but they're not quite there yet; them sharing a connected bedroom only heightens this.

Also, hi Kelly. Figured she'd be a staff member, but I love how you characterized her as absolutely done with everything. You've truly captured the Business Bitch.

Roy is similar and different in a lot of ways. Him being a gambler and it affecting his own business in the process is an angle I never would have expected but makes sense in this setting. His possessiveness under the guise of reliance on her to work is very in-character, and Pam wanting to marry him solely for financial security reminded me of *Lee and Dawn's* dynamic from The Office UK. His befriending Packer adds a new level of unlikability and is an indicator that he may not make it.

Speaking of which, there's the Pack-Man himself. It's easy to see why he was a salesman in-canon, despite how uncouth he is in general; he knows just what to say and I could hear and see David Koechner be charmingly slimy as this version of Packer. Also, he wanted a reporter? Guess he's going after that sweet clout. “There’s a story in everything, isn’t there? You just pay attention and you’ll find it.” I love the irony that the pseudo-villain gives the most profound and thematic line in the story. And his friendship with Michael is right on point. THIS GUY!

And, last but not least, Michael. I love how you kept both his charm and his absolute cluelessness. It's interesting that he owns his own supply company and actually made it a success, like if the Michael Scott Paper Company really did run Dunder Mifflin out of business. It's Britney, Bitch. The Jan reference adds a whole new layer to their workplace relationship since they become business rivals, which won't be touched on again, but it's neat. Finally, as much as Jim is put off by Michael, it warms my heart that he does find him enduring and considers him a good man, despite his many faults.

I'm curious when the Muhduhs in Suhvayanuh commence, and I'm looking forward to when that ball starts rolling.

Looking forward to more!

Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much! I love that you went so in depth with this review. Your Lee and Dawn comparison is so spot on, I have recently rewatched the UK Office and definitely drew inspiration from the way they interacted more than I did the US Office. I didn't want there to be any romantic ties that kept Jim and Pam from getting together, so it made sense to me to have their arrangement be less love and more stability. As for her relationship with Jim being a bit more forward I'd also agree with that, and that was done in order to fit the entire story into one week. They have to meet, develop feelings, and then see where that takes them in the timespan of the story, so it's moving pretty quickly. I don't think any of us here mind that, though, lol! Anyway this review was so lovely to read and I am so appreciative of you being so thorough with it. Thank you SO much! I hope you keep enjoying!

Reviewer: Sam Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: December 04, 2020 02:37 am Title: Chapter 4

Your writing is very evocative, BT. In the settings and the characters and their relationships, it's all very colourful and alive. Also loved the metaphor with the fragile bridge.

Author's Response: Thank you so much, Sam!

Reviewer: lazyloris Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: December 03, 2020 03:59 pm Title: Chapter 4

I love this fic so much!

Author's Response: Thank you so much!

Reviewer: warrior4 Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: December 03, 2020 03:53 pm Title: Chapter 4

"The ass in human form that was Todd Packer." If there ever was a more apt and succinct description for Packer, I've never heard it. I do find it enormously interesting that apparently Packer called Jim into the library yet the meeting didn't seem to last very long. Of course there's the whole thing of Packer saying he needs a reporter, so clearly Packer anticipates something is going to happen. So he would want a reporter on hand to influence the spin of the story?

More layers uncovered. Packer has been an investor to both Micheal and Roy. Thus both Roy and Micheal are either in debt to Packer, or Packer has some kind of leverage over both men. Leverage he might want to use for favors. Now all of a sudden I have a feeling of Packer starting to set himself up as a mafia like boss. The spider at the center of the web who pulls on the threads of the web to make other jump and fall deeper into the trap.

I don't blame Jim for panicking about his notebook going missing. Considering some of the players in this game, players who seem to be keen for any information on all of their fellows, Jim's notebooks would be a prime piece of ammunition in those kinds of schemes.

And of course all the everything with Jim and Pam is just so wonderful. Pam checking him out on the porch, the almost kiss, the lines and timing from Booze Cruise, the leaning of her head on his shoulder, you're bringing in all the highlights and oh dear god am I here for that. I love that Pam is starting to open up to Jim some more. After she said he wouldn't understand he understandably get crushed. Yet then they cuddle on the porch and she starts to confide in him more. In some regard that does feel like a bit of whiplash, but it also feels genuine. Pam seems to want someone to confide in and Jim is right there ready and willing to step in and be there for her.

Loved the way you described Jim's relationship with her. A razor thing crystal bridge. Beautiful writing to invoke that kind of imagery. Again it just feel so very on point. But look at Jim go and start walk out on that bridge. Will it shatter? Will it hold? Will it strengthen? Who knows, but it's going to be a lot of fun finding out.

Author's Response: Loving the speculation as to what Packer's up to! Time will only tell whether your guesses are right. I know it does seem like Jim and Pam are moving pretty quickly, but that's completely by design. This story takes place over the course of a week, after all, so we have to establish their connection/form their feelings/see where it takes us pretty quickly. And she did give him some whiplash throughout the early seasons, as did he with her, so hopefully it's not too out there. I'm glad it still feels genuine! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing, I'm glad you are a liking it!

Reviewer: darjeelingandcoke Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: December 03, 2020 02:23 pm Title: Chapter 4

This is a really good balance of burgeoning forbidden romance and growing mystery - the way you're going between them and intermingling them feels very natural. You’ve built in these great little moments of Jim and Pam tiptoeing up to the lines of impropriety as they try to wrestle with their growing connection. Moving. And definitely, you know, *moving*. VERY curious about what it is Pam can’t afford, though.

I love the characterization of Kelly, which you have again made very strong very quickly. I am keeping a close eye on the household staff, though - between uber-innocent Erin, clever Kelly and full-of-himself Ryan and the room cleaning in which Jim's notebook was free to be examined, feels a lot like they might be involved in whatever comes next.

Like what you’re doing with the deepening of the mystery of Packer's involvement with his guests - clearly he's pulling the strings behind a bunch of them. I have to confess it did not occur to me that there was something inherently suspicious about the fact that Michael's company was so successful in taking down his old employer before now. And I am still very much rooting for Packer to be the murder victim - clearly he has some sway over a bunch of people at The Laurels who might want to be out from under his thumb, and also I hate him. Feels very possible he wants Jim there specifically because he wants to be able to more easily blackmail some of these guests and then will use something he has on Jim (or Wallace) to keep it quiet until he needs it. This seems like a poor plan with intrepid reporter Jim in play, though.

I love that you’re working in Michael’s tendency to put his leg up on the table a little too close to people. Also, congrats! You can officially use the Wet Jim/Pam tag on this story!

Author's Response: I love love love your speculations and theories. Time will tell how they turn out, but please keep them coming! Thank you so much for another great review, I appreciate it so much. Also, "and also I hate him" made me laugh out loud!

Reviewer: nicemorningtoo Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: December 03, 2020 11:33 am Title: Chapter 4

"All things considered, not a bad day." Ugh, well that just killed me. I don't know how you do it, but you make me love every chapter even more than the last. Their almost-kiss on the porch was great and then again on the balcony. You portrayed Michael beautifully. I'm so glad that Pam isn't as blind to Roy's attitudes and antics as she had been in the show, and that she trusts Jim so fully. So great.

Author's Response: Aww, thank you so much! I appreciate you reading and reviewing and am so glad you're liking it. I hope you continue to!

Reviewer: Sam Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: December 02, 2020 10:49 am Title: Prologue

I'm really enjoying this. I like the characters' various backstories and Pam and Roy's 'arrangement', and it all opens up lots of intriguing possibilities. Pam and Jim's developing relationship is really cute too. It's subtle, but it's quite clear how they're feeling about each other.
Really looking forward to reading more. And I have theories...

Reviewer: Dernhelm Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: December 01, 2020 10:19 am Title: Chapter 3

I have a weird habit of putting my reading on pause and making a few circles around my room when I'm getting excited or agitated or something like that. And reading this chapter, I did that at least... five times? I didn't really count...
Your writing is so beautiful! The scenes on the balcony and near the lake are my favorite so far — I'm a sucker for everything gentle and subtle yet meaningful, and these episodes gave me goosebumps... And I like your inclusion of mystery too (my piece of speculation: Todd Packer would be killed, and the only reason I don't want to see Roy as a corpse is because Jim would become the suspect t70;1 (and I don't like it!)).
And I feel like Pam's prank on Dwight might play a significant role in following events (I hope it turns into his invaluable help with the investigation).
Also, Erin is such a cutie!
Thank you so much for writing! Sorry that this review is disordered a little...

Reviewer: Sam Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: December 01, 2020 06:11 am Title: Chapter 1

I'm loving the way you're telling the story, and describing the location. I don't know anything about that part of the US, and you've made it very vivid for me (and I've googled some pics of the Spanish moss, which is just as you say!)
Intrigued, and looking forward to seeing where you take it next. Thanks!

Reviewer: Merria Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: November 28, 2020 02:40 pm Title: Chapter 3

I’m jumping in a little bit late. But, man, what a great story! I’m loving the Jim and Pam interactions and how you wove all the characters into this story.
So here’s my speculation: Senator Lipton is the one to get killed, there will be many suspects because of political rivalries and Angela’s past affairs. We will learn that Angela’s son is secretly Dwight’s.
And since Packer sucks, he’ll be the killer and Roy will be involved some way. So they both go to jail and we get rid of them.
Jim and Pam will figure things out and √Āngela and Dwight will also rekindle their romance. Probably by sneaking around during their stay.
Am I close?

Author's Response: I'm glad that you like it so much so far! I hope you keep enjoying it. It has been a labor of love for me, for sure. And I can't give anything away! I like your theories but as to whether or not any of them are close to what I have planned, you'll just have to read on to find out!

Reviewer: darjeelingandcoke Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: November 28, 2020 01:29 pm Title: Chapter 3

Yes to Jim-Pam bonding. Although the fact that Pam is so moved by the simple fact of someone paying attention to her hurts, seeing them get to know each other and somewhat openly express their growing affection is lovely. A good memory to hold onto when the bodies start dropping. Talk about storm clouds on the horizon with her relationship with Roy, though.

Carefully noting another possible path for them to follow in the nebulous business relationship between Roy and Packer and Roy's early discharge... perhaps related to the mysterious money Packer has come into?

I am highly amused by Jim's take on Erin, although the more it gets described this way the more she's my dark horse pick for the murderer. Very much looking forward to Jim's conversation with Packer.

Author's Response: I had to throw some angst in there somehow, haha! I knew going in that I didn't want them to be engaged or really committed, but I knew that I needed there to be *something* there to give it that drama. It would have been too easy for them to just get together right from the start! Packer's money and Roy's military history and all the other little things will come in due time, but please keep the guesses coming! I love reading them!

Reviewer: boredhswf Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: November 28, 2020 02:37 am Title: Chapter 3

Okay, I am very, very curious as to why Roy was discharged. I have so many Questions. This is so beautifully written that I am immediately immersed with each update. I love how you are building their relationship and the turn of 'I can't' was brilliant.

Love this so much, BT!

Author's Response: You know, it never even occurred to me that you might have some insight into discharges from the military and I just kind of threw that in there without any further to do some research, haha! Thanks for RUINING MY FUN jk obv but I definitely have plans to make it juicier than I'd intended just for you! Thank you so much!

Reviewer: warrior4 Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: November 27, 2020 05:26 pm Title: Chapter 3

Nice to have some backstory here. About Pam's relationship to Roy and how she sees her life going forward. Likewise for Jim, the fact he did serve but didn't see any action. He's right, an early release from the Army, especially in wartime, rarely means anything good. Adds some depth to Roy's character.

Pam and Jim are adorable with everything here. It really feels like she's just as smitten with him as he is with her. However here, like canon, her perceived realities appear to be in the way of anything more than friendship. Though that walk through the woods to the pond and all the flirting they're doing are really pushing the boundaries of friendship, so in that regard it feels a lot like canon.

Overall, like Jim pointed out, there's something afoot. The pieces are being laid out and more than likely moving. Not really a whole lot to go on that I can see with this chapter. Other than Roy and Packer seem to have a good business deal. The fear of loss of wealth is a powerful motive for a crime. There's still a lot more to think about though. Great job, can't wait for more.

Author's Response: Thanks so much warrior!

Reviewer: nicemorningtoo Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: November 27, 2020 02:20 pm Title: Chapter 3

Ugh, BT. Every chapter of this story just amazes me more and more. The way you are able to keep these characters true to the show while also having them placed in this completely different universe is beautiful. I'm sad to hear that Pam and Roy's relationship isn't as simple as originally introduced, but I also love the slow burn of them getting together, so I cannot wait to see how you do that. Also the imagery of that lake was breathtaking. I could picture it so easily and I wish I was actually there. I can't wait for the next chapter!!

Author's Response: I wish I was there too! The lake is one of my favorite parts when I picture the house and the grounds. Can't you imagine it all still right before a big storm? Ugh. And as you might have seen in the chat the other day, I love some angst! I couldn't just let them get together right off the bat, that'd be way too easy. Gotta hurt 'em a bit first, you know? ;)

Reviewer: darjeelingandcoke Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: November 23, 2020 01:08 pm Title: Chapter 2

Between the interlocking relationships of Oscar, Andy, Angela, Dwight and the (State) Senator, Packer's mysterious motives and undefined monetary gain; and whatever is going on with Pam you've given us (and Jim) a lot of paths to follow when the chaos starts. I am very, very intrigued and very, very much hoping the pace of updates keeps up!

I love poor Jim's being utterly consumed by thoughts of Pam right from the jump, much to the detriment of his actually doing his job. Some things don't change in any universe. And I really appreciate how well you've slotted Packer into the role of the mysterious millionaire up to no good - you've found a sort of sinister element to his obnoxious canon personality that leaves room for him to be clever as opposed to his usual dopey self.

"You gathered as much information as you could, even if it seemed like nothing worthwhile. And then, once you started to put it all together, the different elements clicked together into something?" "No detail was too small?" If you are trying to get me to reread this, madam... you have succeeded. I for one feel vaguely suspicious of Jim's conclusion that it was Pam who walked in on him earlier.

Some great table-setting in this chapter - looking forward to what comes next!

Author's Response: I'm trying hard to make sure I keep all these little paths straight! I have a hundred sticky notes pinned my homescreen, lol. It looks like Charlie's conspiracy board in that episode of IASIP when he's talking about Pepe Silvia. But I am so glad to read that you're enjoying them and intrigued so far! I have 9 chapters of this story written so far so I hope to do weekly updates! Maybe imposing a schedule on myself will keep me on pace with writing it since NaNoWriMo is over soon. Anyway thank you so much for this review! I appreciate it so much. I truly hope you keep enjoying it the way you have been.

Reviewer: lazyloris Signed [Report This]
Date: November 23, 2020 09:20 am Title: Chapter 2

I'm so intrigued! And relieved Pam in engaged!

Author's Response: I hope the intrigue stays!

Reviewer: GreenyshEyed Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: November 23, 2020 06:25 am Title: Chapter 2

This is one of the best canon divergent/AU stories I've read here and I've worked my way through almost all. Your talent SHINES. I can't wait to see how you weave these threads.

Author's Response: I really am kind of left speechless by this review. It's super meaningful to have someone say such kind things to me about my writing! Thank you SO much!

You must login (register) to review or leave jellybeans