Date: January 10, 2021 12:53 pm Title: Is this the start of something wonderful and new?
This is a fantastic start! This is super cute. Welcome to MTT and to writing! I got my start here too and this is a wonderful, supportive crowd to help you along the way. I can't wait to see more of this story!
Author's Response: Thank you for your review! I must admit, I was very nervous to post here but I was definitely overthinking things. Hopefully, writer's block won't get to me and I can update this soon.
Date: January 10, 2021 08:35 am Title: Is this the start of something wonderful and new?
I love seeing the Dunder Mifflinites with fresh eyes, especially with Jim who ends up being our eyes to them as well - I like this take on meeting Michael for the first time. The noogies and the hottest single in the office conversation feel very much like canon.
There are some really good lines in here, especially with Jim's consideration of Pam: "You're almost jealous because up until today you've never felt that kind of passion for anything." "Memories of a life not yet lived overwhelm you"
Congrats on posting your first story! Welcome (again) to MTT!
Author's Response: Thank you! Also, thanks to you and everyone else in the discord server for giving me the push I needed to post this. Funny thing is, I participate in a speech competition at my school and my coach's wisdom to end strong. I guess that's seeped into my writing as well. Anyways, your review is very much appreciated!
Date: January 10, 2021 04:16 am Title: Is this the start of something wonderful and new?
Aloha and welcome.
Welcome to our little kingdom.
I enjoyed your first fic here, Jims first day seems pretty much what you'd expect from a first day with Michael. But then there's Pam and you captured the moments so well of their first meeting.
Love all the little breadcrumbs. And the last 2 lines really are just perfect.
Author's Response: Aloha and...hello! Thank you for welcoming me to your little kingdom. The Jim and Pam banter was actually the hardest part of writing this for me. I'm a zoomer so I don't know that much about corporate culture or 1999. Fortunately, it appears that I was able to at least emulate it. Thank you once again for your review! I look forward to interacting more with this community in the future.
Date: January 09, 2021 10:45 pm Title: Is this the start of something wonderful and new?
Welcome to writing! It's always a big leap to post that first story.
This first chapter really was a treat. Jim just falling for her right from the off rings true. Loved all the callbacks you put in there. Scranton Witch Project, the expired yogurt, the line about Dwight. All really a lot of fun.
Writing from 2nd person too. That's not something we really see a lot. It really worked well here. Especially as it gave us a great peak into Jim's mind.
Wonderful job for your first time. Looking forward to more.
Author's Response: Thank you so much! I was nervous doing second person but I wanted to ring true to the boy meets girl theme and make Jim feel as normal as possible. If that makes any sense. Hopefully, inspiration will strike soon and I can get the second chapter out there. 'Tis an honor to receive praise from the great warrior4.