Date: April 12, 2021 09:11 am Title: Can you see me using everything to hold back?
This is great! I like the way you've drawn out the more positive aspects of Pam and Roy's relationship, which you never really saw on the show, and gives you a better sense of why she might have stayed with him for so long: but also tempered it with the idea that she is settling/stuck, and how the introduction of Jim is making he realise that (particularly with the final line here about Jim always understanding). Also, as a huge Arctic Monkeys fan...I *love* the second chapter title :D
Date: April 12, 2021 06:48 am Title: Can you see me using everything to hold back?
Feels like the beginning of the end (though we all know that's still a long ways off) of the Pam and Roy relationship. The constant delay to set a date. Him not asking about her day and just walking right back out to be with buddies rather than her.
Still even as the Roy/Pam relationship starts to decline, the Jim/Pam relationsip starts to build. Love the way he brings her into the prank. She's also starting to notice him. How he treats her, how she feels around him. Really great to see.
Nice job with the layout and editing with this chapter. Big imporvments that make it a lot easier to read.
Date: April 06, 2021 10:49 am Title: Landed in a very common crisis
Again, I love that you're finding a realistic kind of sweetness in Pam's relationship with Roy - you can see where problems might come down the line, but you get why she stayed with this guy for a decade. The steadiness and predictability isn't just good because it's steady and predictable, there's also some genuine joy there. (The note of genuine enthusiasm for having her working with him, and that the idea came at a moment when Pam genuinely needed a break, is solid.)
And Jim's intro worked, I think - you can see this Pam really not SEEING these problems until he arrives in her life.
Date: April 05, 2021 06:35 pm Title: Landed in a very common crisis
i love the progression in this chapter! all the characters were introduced and you covered the pre-show very well. i can’t way to see how you write the rest of the story! it’s especially good that you’re motivated to do a whole story bc as a newer writer myself, i can’t bring myself to do more than one shots. you’re amazing! xx
ps. i love the chapter titles with my entire heart- and now i have fluorescent adolescence stuck in my head.
Author's Response: This review made my week! Iím so happy your liking the story so far and that you enjoy the chapter titles (thats personally one of my favorite things to add). Also I have no idea why I thought it was a smart choice to start a multi chapter fic as a new author, lol. Thank you for the kind words!
Date: April 03, 2021 08:08 pm Title: Landed in a very common crisis
Nice way to bring us up to speed on how she's doing. I can see how she'd get into a routine like this with Roy. Right now it feels she likes the way her life is going. She has a steady job, a fiance. However now Jim is there. The first feeling of her ring being heavy seems telling. Almost as if she can already look ahead and see the engagement is going to drag on. But anyway a nice look at pre-camera Pam.
A couple writing tips quick. Might want to find someone to proofread for you. There's a few typos that popped up. Also one usually starts a new paragraph whenever a new character starts talking. A couple things to help make your writing better.
Author's Response: Thank you for the tips! Iím VERY new to all of this and appreciate all the help I can get. :)
Date: March 26, 2021 11:03 pm Title: How you get the girl
There's some fun stuff in here! First, I love the Katy sighting, and it's nice to get a sense of the early ears of Pam and Roy being positive - him being a good boyfriend, her enjoying the benefits of being his girlfriend. It puts her later tolerance of his behavior in a different, more understandable context.
Congrats on your first story here - welcome to MTT!
Date: March 26, 2021 04:54 pm Title: How you get the girl
Welcome to writing! Always fun to have a new author on the site. Good look into teenage Pam and how her relationship with Roy started out. Considering they were together for around ten years, the start would probably have been good. In the show we really only saw the end as it was falling apart. It's good to get a reminder that at one time Pam and Roy were very much a thing.
Any chance for the next chapter you could make the text a bit bigger? It's a little hard to read when its that small. Should be interesting to see where this goes.
Author's Response: Thank you for the review! Iím also really excited to see where this fic goes, I have most of it mapped out but itís still fun to get to bring it to life. And Iíll be sure to fix the problem with the text size next chapter. :)