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Reviewer: a little teapot Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: May 31, 2023 11:51 pm Title: Halloween (October 31, 2013)

I really enjoyed this collection of stories. I could totally see them saying and doing everything as you described it. I liked all of them, of course, but my favorites were without a doubt Jelly Bean Day, Casino Night, and Halloween II. I hope you will get the inspiration to write more,

Thank you for writing and sharing these with us!

Reviewer: tinydundie Signed [Report This]
Date: November 03, 2022 11:12 am Title: Halloween (October 31, 2013)

*she’s MERIDA FROM BRAVE with shamefully straight hair.*

love this detail!

*JIM (snapping a black eyemask onto his face):
It’sssssssssssss showtime!*

It's a crime we did not get to see JK actually do this

*PETE (in talking head):
Oh, Erin adores The Incredibles. She says she really likes how they come together and fight evil as a family. (beat) She also roots for Simon in Die Hard With A Vengeance. (beat) Not sure the fighting evil thing is that big a part of it.*

OMG I can't believe you made a Die Hard 3 reference and worked it so seamlessly into a character's very believable library of knowledge. Bravo.

*This may be one of the top 10 most disappointing things to ever happen to ERIN. If you discount anything related to the orphanage. Or sex with ANDY. Or GABE.*

Stop being amazing. Just stop it. These are the best. (The absolute best.)

Author's Response: Truthfully? Erin should've put more work in here. A non-curly haired Merida? I mean, what's the point?

I think he would've enjoyed this scene.

This, the force field joke and Pam being excited she's gotten Jim to wear a costume were the foundations on which all the rest of it was built. But yeah, that worked out way too well.

I'll see what I can do for you there. Thanks for taking the time to review!

Reviewer: Maxine Abbott Signed [Report This]
Date: October 31, 2022 03:42 pm Title: Halloween (October 31, 2013)

 

 

So there was a Caffeine Corner fic after all...you sneaky devil.

So I'm old as a vampire so some of the pop culture references were lost on me but I knew exactly what a reach extender was even without the link.

Wish that Erin had gotten a monster perm to look more like Merida.

Believe it or not, I do know Blackadder (Mr. Bean too).

The best part of this fic was imagining Jim as Mr. Incredible, but seriously you really touched the mummy in me in that the family went as The Incredibles. It so just warmed my heart  - it's one of my kids favorite movies still and I have video asking "Jeffery Dahmer" (only you know who I mean) as a little kid if he was fast like Dash.  And Cece trapping Dwight in a force field - be still my heart, how adorable. 

I know why Dakota is featured and why she goes as Tes McGill - again because I'm from the dark ages.  SHould I spoil it for all - naw you know I know. Let them look it up.

I also caught the good at Jellos - and Clark dressed as HP and was there a nod with the phrasing 'like a traveler' or am I just overthinking as usual? 

Gotta tell you the Incrediperts had me howling.

And really the reason Angela goes along on this prank does track. 

Fun stuff - thanks for posting!! 

 



Author's Response: I mean, not a Caffeine Corner *fic*, but yes. (There's a talking head in the Jeffrey Dahmer chapter set there too. Apparently it's in my head.)

I was very unsure whether or not people would get the reach extender thing... I feel like that was a part of daily life at my house growing up.

It's such a perfect family costume, if you've got the people for it! And such a fun family movie. That's a very sweet story about your serial killer there. And there should be more Cece-Dwight fanfic moments.

I was thinking of making it more pointed within the script exactly why that costume worked, but nah. That's an Easter egg, dammit.

The like a traveler part was just me trying to be overdramatic with my metaphors... but going with Harry Potter was an intentional tribute.

Glad the Angela bit worked... this one came together pretty slowly, but I thought in the end it all grew fairly organically.

Thank you! And thanks for such an extensive review!

Reviewer: MrsKHalpert Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: October 31, 2022 08:44 am Title: Halloween (October 31, 2013)

Oh this was so much fun! Love that Jim FINALLY dressed up and that it was all to prank Dwight.
Loved the part about Dwight’s scarecrow care 🤣

Happy Halloween 🎃 👻

Author's Response: There is no limit Jim will not overcome if it means pranking Dwight.

Lol. Dwight has so many oddities that must try Angela's poor Christian soul.

A Happy Halloween to you!

Reviewer: warrior4 Signed [Report This]
Date: October 31, 2022 08:33 am Title: Halloween (October 31, 2013)

Yeah I could see this as a way to get Jim in costume. Pam started wearing him down with Popeye and he's found it's a lot of fun to make the two best girls and guy in his life happy. And prank Dwight at the same time.

Erin being all about the costume and her and Pete still going strong was great fun too. Same with all the other costume descriptions. Dwight going through HR staffers seems to track. Not that he was as antagonistic to them as Michael was, but almost as if he's trying to out-to Michael in his disregard for things HR.

The best part though was Cece forcing Dwight into a force field. Love how that came across.

Great job and Happy Halloween!

Author's Response: Jim's love for his family, and perhaps more importantly his love for pranking Dwight, would make him do far worse things than dress up for Halloween.

Erin's sheer joy in things always makes her fun to use. And I had *way* too much fun thinking up costumes.

I think that's about right... Dwight isn't *purposefully* hateful towards HR guys the way Michael is, but he's certainly not going to let an HR guy prevent him from doing anything.

There should be more Cece-Dwight fic.

Thank you, and a very happy Halloween to you!

Reviewer: WanderingWatchtower Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: October 29, 2022 10:35 am Title: Halloween (October 24, 2&*#)

I'm running out of ways to tell you how good you are at this. Because you're, like, really good at this. This was the perfect opportunity to capture everyone's characters and you freaking nailed it. Everyone's reactions were so perfect and exactly what it wouldn't have been like in the show. As far as I'm concerned this is just a deleted scene. Amazing.

Author's Response: Stop. You are far too kind and are going to make me verklempt. I'm really glad you enjoyed this little bit of actors-in-other-shows inspired frippery.

Reviewer: warrior4 Signed [Report This]
Date: October 27, 2022 06:38 am Title: Halloween (October 24, 2&*#)

Wow, Toby's doing a really good job of covering his tracks. Got everyone all convinced, planted evidence, everything.

That all being said, great voice for everyone through all of this. Creepy Gabe, self important Dwight, Pam and Angela sniping at each other, Kelly ready to rock her interview, Kevin not picking up on what Oscar is saying, Jim feeling out of place that there was a threat so close to his family, Michael being distraught. Really good work with this one.

Author's Response: Toby's Netflix show is going to be *epic.* (I *think* what's going on here is there have been *two* serial killers stalking Scranton at this time, like LA in the 70s and 80s, and Toby is hoping to palm off/seeing some of his murders being attributed to Luke.)

Thank you so much! And thanks for taking the time to review!

Reviewer: tinydundie Signed [Report This]
Date: October 24, 2022 03:57 pm Title: Halloween (October 24, 2&*#)

I'm going to take credit for inspiring this chapter even if it wasn't me. So, you're welcome :) This was my fave:

*OSCAR (with KEVIN initially nodding along like he has the slightest clue what OSCAR is talking about):
Luke claimed to be this big film lover, but he once told me he fell asleep halfway through Rashomon. *Rashomon.* He should’ve been locked up for that alone.

KEVIN (surprised confusion):
And… the murders.

OSCAR (a little embarrassed):
Yes, and of course also the murders, Kevin.*

Thank you for blessing us with these gems, Joe. You are a true hero around these parts.

Author's Response: I mean... I believe you were in fact the person who insisted this should be posted, so, thank you.

I don't know why, I just really like the Oscar-Kevin duo. I think more should be done with them.

*Kevin voice* I... am a hero.

Reviewer: grc73 Signed [Report This]
Date: October 24, 2022 03:49 pm Title: Halloween (October 24, 2&*#)

This was so incredibly good, totally played out like a real episode in my head. I love Mom Detectives too, I hope they do something with it once they finish the rewatches towards the end of next year.

Author's Response: Thank you! And they absolutely should. Get Hollywood on the phone, dammit.

Reviewer: MrsKHalpert Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: October 24, 2022 12:18 pm Title: Halloween (October 24, 2&*#)

Oh this was just so great! I started copying the talking heads I liked the most, but then I just had the whole fic copied into this box. Top shout outs to Pam & Angela and Dwight. So good!!!!

Author's Response: Thank you so much!!!!

Reviewer: Maxine Abbott Signed [Report This]
Date: October 24, 2022 03:57 am Title: Halloween (October 24, 2&*#)

It's always fun to see you expand one of the Discord quickies into a real live fic. The meta connection of this one while trouble for your timeline, also makes it so. I don't know why, as I sip my much needed AM coffee, but the Darryl one really landed for me.

Kelly's seems very Kelly. I'm totally seeing Gabe fanboy over having a serial killer's signature and getting banned for his SK glorification.

But I totally see and hear Toby in this one. 

Fun stuff!

 

Happy Early Halloween!!! 



Author's Response: Purposeful denial of caffeine is definitely an indication of deep-seated cruelty, and I enjoy getting into how fundamentally weird and off-putting Gabe is... especially when I don't have to torture Erin to do it.

Oh, Toby's starring in his own episode of How To Get Away With Murder here, for sure.

Thanks! Happy early Halloween to you!

Reviewer: warrior4 Signed [Report This]
Date: September 27, 2022 09:19 pm Title: Rosh Hashanah (September 13, 2007)

A very nice look into the Jewish!Jim world for sure. I like that now that he's past the troubled waters he has the head space to reflect on some of the aftermath of the last few years. O e gets the sense that this Jim was really being quite selfish while he was pining away. To recognize that, gave it, and let it go would yes be a moment of lightness.

Feels like Pam gets to reap the rewards of that after, during, or before dinner.

Belated Happy Birthday Max.

Shana tovah!

Author's Response: I feel like he has to have had this moment at some point post-The Job, you know? Given both the opportunity to safely reflect and the very noticeable human cost of that episode.

Well, Pam's earned it!

Thanks as always for taking the time to read and review!

Reviewer: MrsKHalpert Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: September 27, 2022 12:38 pm Title: Rosh Hashanah (September 13, 2007)

Well Shana Tova Jim! And Shana Tova DJC!
The idea of Jim doing Taslich here is really nice, and I love how you included pretty much EVERYONE (including Sara-without-an-h). Maybe Dwight could have snuck in there though hehe
Very cute of Pam trying to make the meal the next day
Would love to see Michael's attempt at Yom Kippur for next week (joking, but kinda not, chop chop)
Have a jellybean while you can still eat it!!

Author's Response: Shana tovah to you, my friend!

Well, Jim has a lot of wrongs to think about. He's casting a wide net here.

Pam is a good egg. She's doing her level best here.

I shudder to think what Michael would do with Yom Kippur.

Thanks so much, and thanks for taking the time to review!

Reviewer: tinydundie Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: September 26, 2022 09:39 am Title: Rosh Hashanah (September 13, 2007)

I don't necessarily buy Jim as Jewish, but I don't have anything against it either. He needed this, and so did we. Thanks for writing it.

*“You get so much more Jewish when there’s food to be eaten or work to be skipped, Halpert”*

Haha, THIS I can buy.

*Except… now he has his happy ending. Jim woke up this morning spooning Pam Beesly, just like he’d always dreamed. Her clothes are in the top drawer of his dresser and her ring is in a shoebox on the high shelf of his closet.*

swooooon

*Bread for his mom, and how sad he saw his own sadness made her. “A mother is only as happy as her least happy child,” she always says, and that’s been him for a long damn time.*

This really got me.

*For all the snippy comments when she wouldn’t give him what he wanted. For all the times she needed a friend and he was something other than one. For dropping a bomb on all her plans. For leaving her without saying goodbye. For how cold he was when he came back to Scranton. For taking the olive branch she offered him after the pepper spray incident and snapping it over his knee. For the week she had to wait for him to come back after her Beach Day speech.

He has more to make amends to Pam for than anyone.*

Eep. You right, though.

This was beautifully written, great job!

Author's Response: Jewish!Jim (and Jewish!Toby, another of my personal hobbyhorses) undeniably took multiple fatal blows in canon in Seasons 5 and 6. But as with Thanos, reality can be whatever I want, and you are very welcome. It's always fun to dig out that headcanon.

Pam has his number, for sure. Although I maintain this comes across a little meaner that she strictly speaking intended it and that leads her to her actions in the conclusion.

Season 4 is so light and happy. It's great.

I'm not sure where I first heard this phrase, but it's always stuck with me.

Truth hurts, Jimbo. Not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat removed, but it hurts.

Thank you so much! And thanks for taking the time to review!

Reviewer: Maxine Abbott Signed [Report This]
Date: September 26, 2022 05:02 am Title: Rosh Hashanah (September 13, 2007)

It's the morning after my personal new year and the morning of the one of my people. Like Jim, I'll be heading to synagogue myself soon. Is that why this fic got me so verklempt? A bit, but even without my personal attachment, this one was moving and very sweet.

Thank you for the birthday wishes and fic. I am touched by it. Thank you also for the image of Jim above the water. I can't help but think he might have been thinking of some other moments by the water as they pertain to Pam, on their boat trip where he could not find the words, and after the beach games, standing ankle deep in it as he maybe finally starting coming around to the 'right decision'. It conjured up other similar ritual images, him fisting his chest, reciting more general sins and (I borrow these words but it fits so well here) defibularating his heart to awaken a better self...one that Pam helped bring about.

Now Jim can just… be. And wouldn’t you know it, it turns out Pam loves him just as he is, unfiltered and unrestrained. Because Pam loves him. (Pam loves him!) - this was beautifully written.

Cute that Pam calls him out on his selective devoutness and I so relate with the uncomfortable folding chairs - (see Pam, many people become more Jewish around this time, so much that extra chairs need to be brought out). We've had to sit in them many times - hard to get two young boys dressed for temple (plus fancy myself up, since we all know that looking around to see everyone is what we all do) - and get to synagogue in time to get a seat in the pews.

Now the section where he atones via bread thrown in the water for all those he had wronged, that just got me. You got me starting with Karen (who as you said he had a lot to be sorry about).

Bread for his mom, and how sad he saw his own sadness made her. “A mother is only as happy as her least happy child,” she always says, and that’s been him for a long damn time. OH HOW TRUE THIS IS. More so as they are older since its no longer silly stuff, but real troubles that we moms feel as strongly perhaps as they do. I feel for what Betsy must have gone through during his darkest days following Casino night.

Of course he must atone for Dwight, even if he will be back to it by the next work day.
And for Roy, this was so poignant - the line about coveting...you don't often think about it how it was that, but for years he was breaking the 10th commandment. Not to mention how he upended what Roy had with Pam, even if he didn't appreciate it like he should have.

'For taking the olive branch she offered him after the pepper spray incident and snapping it over his knee. For the week she had to wait for him to come back after her Beach Day speech.' - another line that just got me.

The ending was just so sweet and perfect... the taste of the honey on her lips..delish.

And I love the justification for your continuity discrepancy. I say if GD (that being Greg Daniels) can do it, so can DJC.

Thanks you again for the birthday wishes and the fic. A Sweet New Year to you and all.

Author's Response: Well, verklempt was definitely my goal here, and I'm happy to take credit for the work of the calendar. A happy and sweet fresh start to both of your new years.

The latter images were very much intended, and I'm glad that came through. The comparison to all the Jim-and-Pam-by-the-water moments hadn't occurred to me and I wish I'd referenced it now!

Season 4 Jim is really fun to write sometimes. He's just so giddy.

The plight of the High Holy Days-only synagogue attendee is REAL.

I think, or at least hope, the pain he caused Karen is very much on his mind at this point in the story, not yet knowing that she's getting her happy ending.

Hmmm. By the way, if anyone non-Max is reading this and agrees, you really ought to read "Sleepless Nights."

He is sorry! Just not sorry enough to in any way restrain himself!

It's kind of hard to define what Jim did to Roy without getting into touchy questions about what the "theft" of a person is... I think coveting covers it pretty well, though.

Pam really does take it on the chin a lot from Jim in Season 3, and while I am a staunch Season 3 Jim defender or at least explainer, I think he would've been cringing at a lot of his behavior with 20/20 hindsight.

The ending mainly came about because I thought the "you get more Jewish when there's worked to be skipped or food to beaten" line, while funny, was maybe a little meaner than Pam might be and I thought she'd feel bad. She's a good egg, that Pam Beesly. Glad you liked it!

Continuity is for mortals.

You are very welcome, and thank YOU for being born.

Reviewer: WanderingWatchtower Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: September 25, 2022 10:29 pm Title: Rosh Hashanah (September 13, 2007)

Uh hi, why did this make me emotional?

But for real, Jim's introspection here is really good. His self-awareness and concern for those around him, especially pre-Pam, was great to read and felt true to his character as well.

And of course Pam being adorable and them being adorable together and fluff and happiness and I love it all thank you sir.

Well done!

Author's Response: I know he's happy about how it ended and thinks the sacrifices were worth it... but I do strongly feel that there's a lot he did in this period of his life Jim would ultimately feel pretty awful about, and probably did at the time, too.

The last bit sort of came because I thought the crack about him being more Jewish when it got him something was too funny not to use but also maybe a little meaner than Pam typically is, and she might want to make up for it, and it wound up in a delightfully fluffy place.

Thank you so much! Really glad this one worked for you.

Reviewer: Sam Signed [Report This]
Date: February 18, 2022 11:13 am Title: Joe Biden's Birthday (November 20, 2008)

Hahaha... ! I can totally see Creed and Joe cruisin' Syracuse in a stolen Cadillac.

I've been looking forward to catching up with this , and you haven't disappointed. These chapters have all been great, and I can really hear the characters talking.
Super stuff!

Author's Response: Oh, the Joe Biden and Creed shenanigans would've been a whole documentary unto themselves.

Thank you so much! Really appreciate your kind words and you taking the time!

Reviewer: Sam Signed [Report This]
Date: February 18, 2022 10:50 am Title: National IT Professionals Day (September 21)

This has made my evening! I thought Sadiq was great, and I wish we'd seen more of him. And I love how you got him to humanise Dwight. Poor Nick...
Thanks!

Author's Response: Sadiq does feel like he'd fit into the daily life of Dunder Mifflin pretty well, doesn't he? He'd be a valuable addition to the Coalition for Reason. I know, Nick seems like such a nice guy, he just wanted to be friends! *sigh* Thanks for reviewing!

Reviewer: Sam Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: February 18, 2022 10:29 am Title: Casino Night (May 11-12, 2006)

Well, that was lovely. I feel genuinely emotional, and I'm glad you managed to fit in a happy ending. Great insights into both of their states of mind, at that point in their story.
Super!

Author's Response: This may well be my favorite thing I wrote last year tbh, so I'm really glad to hear you liked it!

Reviewer: Sam Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: February 18, 2022 10:14 am Title: 05-05-05 (May 5, 2005)

I said before that I'm always interested to read about the tension caused by the nature of Jim's relationship with Pam, and what he would like it to be, and I like the way you've explored that here.
You shouldn't be so hard on yourself! I actually forgot to count look for things to count, because I was caught up in the story - don't know if that counts as 'harsh criticism' or not... :o)

Author's Response: I don't think that counts, no. :D

Appreciate the review, friend!

Reviewer: Sam Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: January 22, 2022 08:37 am Title: Pretzel Day (April 26, 2005)

You're great at painting vivid pictures with these scripts (if that's the tight word for it?) You really bring them to life. I particularly liked seeing Jim trying to fill his time at reception, and your clip package with the abused microwave. Oh, and happy Stanley with his pretzel!
Thanks!

Author's Response: I don't know why that microwave gag amuses me so much, but I've gotten a lot of mileage out of it. And it is always a treat to write happy Stanley.

Thank you so much! I do think John and Jenna are doing most of the work, but I appreciate it.

Reviewer: Basscop69 Signed [Report This]
Date: December 23, 2021 04:31 am Title: Joe Biden's Birthday (November 20, 2008)

Ok, every time I hear Joe Biden is from Scranton I immediately go to THE OFFICE! (I feel like I also got into the show at roughly the same time he got elected last year?) so I’m really really glad there’s now a fic about this. And this was a brilliant one: I feel like you’ve nailed every single character’s political views / relationship with politics (including Oscar’s and Stanley’s, who I’d never even really thought about before. And Angela and Sarah Palin, LOL). I love Michael getting way too carried away with the whole thing, Jim genuinely and earnestly feeling connected and inspired by Biden - it’s so very Jim - and you’ve tapped into something that just feels very in keeping with the spirit of the show, with the sort of small-town excitement and pride about all of this. (I’m also with Pam on being confused about what the VP does. I’m not sure Veep has helped me with this). And then Kelly!! I really love your Kelly is secretly much smarter than she lets on theory - and linking Biden with that random note in the show about her sister dying, to create a more human moment that she then immediately puts aside for the cameras, is so amazing. I love it.

I could quite easily turn this into a list of all the moments in this that cracked me up, but I think my particular favourites are Angela ratting them out to Wallace, Michael’s hasty about-turn on Republicans buy paper too after his call (in fact, that entire speech that he gives them: but also, hail to the Chief Financial Officer - you’re killing me), the sneaky reveal on Wallace’s political preferences, and the cut to Jim’s face after Dwight’s talking head. Oh, and then the ending with Creed. Basically, this was just fantastic from start to finish.

Author's Response: Exactly! Those are the things everyone thinks about when they think of Scranton, Dunder Mifflin and Joe Biden! A killer combo imo. I will freely confess I have spent far too much time thinking about the politics of each of these characters and may or may not have detailed headcanons as to each of their voting patterns over the last decade and a half, so I'm glad to hear that did this fic some good.

Michael getting overexcited was a given, but it was fun to write earnest Jim in a non-Jam scenario - feel like I haven't done much of that. (I think Veep captures it pretty well tbh.)

There are *so many good stories* to be told about Secretly Savvy Kelly. She's delightful as a dingbat, it opens up a lot of plot options.

I'm glad so many of these moments worked for you... fun to write. Thanks so much for taking the time to read and review, friend.

Reviewer: Sam Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: December 23, 2021 12:52 am Title: National Jelly Bean Day (April 22, 2006)

Oh... this is very moving and insightful.
The clash between Jim's role in Pam's life and his actual hopes and intentions always grabs me, and I liked this bit which sums it up very well:
"Jim freezes, because if he can’t give her this, than what good is he to her? And there are moments when he is not the funnest most super awesome source of entertainment, there are moments when he can’t come up with some new game,... there are moments when he just wants to drop the act he always puts on for her and just be honest, be a man and not a playmate, and he’s… He’s got it."
I also really liked:
"The odds have always been against him. The idea that Pam was secretly harboring feelings for him, enough that she might leave Roy, while also dragging Roy kicking and screaming to the altar? It just didn’t make sense."
On the one hand we have the received truth of Jim's cowardice / weakness. But we're probably being more than a bit unfair, because, yeah, he spends his days being confronted with a bit of a Pam paradox. He thinks he can see that she has feelings for him, and he sees that Roy makes her unhappy, she sees it too and complains about him... yet she's the only one in that relationship who's actually invested in getting into a church and wed. You've illustrated his dilemma very well there, and the direction his thoughts would likely be taking in the run up to his big moment.
Great stuff!

Author's Response: Thanks for bringing me back to this one - trying to create a Season 2-style Jam moment that felt like it had something to say and wasn't just a carbon copy was a challenge.

I maintain a lot of sympathy for Jim (up to and through Season 3) for just that reason - without the awareness of the genre of show you're in and everything we're seeing of Pam's reactions without him around, he's wrestling with a lot of information that just doesn't fit what he wants things to be.

Thank you, and thank you for taking the time to review!

Reviewer: Sam Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: December 23, 2021 12:16 am Title: National Grilled Cheese Day (April 12, 2008)

Well, this is very sweet and it's a lovely piece of writing. And also funny. And... generally great.
Thanks!

(And yes, you're right to be concerned about the preparation of the grilled cheese. I'm choosing to believe, because Jim has done this before, that they have access to something that isn't a microwave.

Author's Response: Thank you so much! Glad you enjoyed it.

That's possible. Jim's very ingenious, he probably has his ways, and maybe keys to one of the other offices in the building.

Reviewer: ThePinkButterfly Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: December 13, 2021 09:56 am Title: Joe Biden's Birthday (November 20, 2008)

This was absolutely hilarious. I have to be honest though, my favorite line was the one in your end note: "The latter of which is funny to me because Meredith has definitely never voted in her life."

I need to stop reading your fics while in class and on camera.

Author's Response: It's weird to think of Kate Flannery being her own person sometimes. And I wish I could say I'm sorry to be a distraction, but that would feel dishonest.

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