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Reviewer: darjeelingandcoke Signed [Report This]
Date: November 28, 2021 10:49 am Title: Part II: Chapter 10. House Guests

Thought you did well establishing Pam's disorientation here - and how it extends beyond just not knowing *where* she is.

Maybe it's having just spent the weekend with my nieces and nephew, but I found myself particular amused by Pam's parental exasperation with Michael here - how she tires of the constant whys and needs to be constantly warning him to be behave himself. Of course, he also has the childlike ability to accept this bizarre situation for what it is, so maybe he's not the worst possible partner for time travel. (Angela. Definitely Angela.) Wondering what Pam's corrected eyesight means going forward...

I honestly feel a little bad that Current Michael is getting yelled at for such an innocent mistake with the car here... I mean, *he's* not the one who ruined those folks' evening, that was... you know. Past him. And this reminder of Roy's less admirable tendencies right on the heels of all of this sounds like just the ticket for Pam.

Yikes. That's a bullet dodged with Angela. Not that she would've bought the time travel, but she definitely would've made a HUGE fuss about seeing Michael and Pam in whatever she assumes is a compromising position.

Of course, I'm also kind of with Michael in assuming that having a spare two weeks feels like a good time to do something he might not otherwise have time to do. If he's got to stay out of sight, why not learn a new language? I know it's pre-Duolingo, but I think he could make some progress.

Yikes. With great power comes great responsibility, and with knowing Michael Scott is time travelling means accept him as a houseguest. Poor Randall!

Reviewer: warrior4 Signed [Report This]
Date: November 27, 2021 04:27 pm Title: Part II: Chapter 10. House Guests

So now where do we go from here? No big internal debates other than where are they going to spend their time. I'm sure we'll get more of those as Future Pam has a lot to mull over based on the events of the evening.

Though I do wonder about something. Future Pam now has clear physical vision. I'm wondering if that clarity will translate to other areas of her life. Time will tell.

Author's Response:

Cleverly worded review...always fun to read what you have to say.

It's true our characters need to stay away for a few weeks and that means we won't be seeing Jim for a while but that doesn't mean we won't be thinking of him. Roy, too. 

Thanks for the review as always.

Reviewer: Little Toro Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: November 27, 2021 02:54 pm Title: Part II: Chapter 10. House Guests

My two favorite things, the office and harry potter! I am really enjoying this story. Thank you!

Author's Response:

Thank you for coming on the journey and sharing your review. It truly makes me happy to hear.

What always fascinated me about JK Rowling and her story besides all the fun magic and wild imagination was her ability to weave together things across 7 books and how things introduced had a way of coming back later.

Hope I do just a fraction of that. 

Thank you again for reading and reviewing. 

Reviewer: boredhswf Signed [Report This]
Date: November 26, 2021 05:19 pm Title: Chapter 9 -The Brig

This is a fun chapter with a rollercoaster of emotions to drive us mad (in a good way). At first, I wanted to scream "Where's Michael!" You built up the tension well.

"She’d been given a rewind button, a chance to hear the song that she hadn’t the first time, but because her own playlist was stuck on repeat, she missed it again." LOVE this and for obvious reasons

"Once more history gave her foresight" - clever!

I was so hoping she would overhear Jim's conversation with Michael but you were right, oh my God how frustrating! So great. :)

Author's Response:

 

Thought you'd like that note... told you those lines spoke to me in a different way.

As much as writing time travel is tricky, it does allow for some cleverness when describing the passage of time or events that have simultaneously happened and are yet to be. Hoping I don't overdo it. Hoping you will let me know if I do.

Glad you felt this was a good balance. Leave something for her to imagine and interpret and we know how she can always find a way to tell herself something other than what is clearly the story. 

Always so happy to get your reviews so thank you as always.

Reviewer: warrior4 Signed [Report This]
Date: November 16, 2021 09:31 am Title: Chapter 9 -The Brig

"He’d told her to make sense of the future you had to revisit the past."

This is it. For me the key line for this chapter. Future Pam is still kind of running around not really knowing what to do. Her head says she wants to watch Roy have his big moment, but it feels like her heart is still pulling her another way. Not that she's ready or willing to really listen to her heart right now.

However it's Jim's words, not Roy's that resonate with her. Especially when she hears that his feelings are still very much in the "present," not a discarded crush. Very much a bit thing. Then of course due to habit and denial her hand goes to her ring. Almost as if that circle of gold isn't so much a promise for a better future, but a cage holding her heart from true joy. I mean the only times she seems to acknowledge it is when she's worried or upset and that worry triggers more anxiety. If her current ring is supposed to be a symbol of her feelings towards Roy, well it's actually fairly accurate. It's leaving her with feelings of uncertanty rather than comfort for what may come.

So now there's some time before Future Pam catches up with her own timeline. Really curious to see what's going to happen here. Past Pam will be off in the Poconos leaving Future Pam to do what exactly? Really looking forward to seeing where we go from here.

Author's Response:

YES- my whole intention in bringing it around from HP and Invisibility CLoaks to Jawas and Star Wars was so I could bring up prequels and get in that line.  

But also YEs, she's still got something in her eyes (and its not what you think) and it's too damn windy to hear her own heart. Good thing she'll be getting off the boat soon.  

I like how you call the ring a cage - good analogy.
I'm so excited to bring you Part II soon.

Thanks for always leaving such wonderfully detailed reviews.  

Reviewer: darjeelingandcoke Signed [Report This]
Date: November 14, 2021 11:59 pm Title: Chapter 9 -The Brig

"It reminded her of the cockpit of an airplane, which she’d seen up close as child, back when it was a regular practice to visit the pilots in flight and be given a pin of metal wings." *sigh* I'm nostalgic for those days. No wonder Gen Z is angry all the time. It's a cute - and effective - metaphor for Pam losing her sense that the future is wide open as she grows up.

Oooof. Pam always has to learn her lessons the hard way, doesn't she? Her fear here yet again holds her back from getting what she really wanted. And you did well letting us feel her frustration - if she's not getting to see hre re-engagement, what the heck is all this FOR? (Patience, Pam - the purpose of the evening is coming if you're willing to see it.)

I kind of love having Ryan spotting the two Michaels - he's definitely not open-minded enough to believe in something magical or curious enough to investigate, and also it's more or less his worst nightmare.

Lovely grace note with Michael's humanity - and well placed, too. He really is a kind soul, buried well underneath at all and when his ego is no longer at risk. Just because he can't ADMIT it's his fault and that people got hurt, doesn't mean he doesn't know it is and want to change it. And as always, Pam being able to work with the childlike elements of Michael is sweet. I bet she makes Cece and Phil pink swear all the time.

Props to working in the reference to Jenna's Star Wars skepticism - and of course this is one of those rare things Dwight and Jim totally agree on. (They definitely have secretly watched AT LEAST one piece of geek culture together. Firefly maybe?)

Okay, GAME-CHANGER. So Pam is going to get the answers here she was denied at the end of The Secret, hearing at least some of it from the horse's mouth... and getting time to consider what it all means before having to respond. Very much looking forward to how all this plays out, and seeing the road forward in this story a little more clearly: much like the time-turner, they're going to keep having adventures right up until the moment they rejoin the present day!

P.S. I *may* have missed my shout-out but I'm gonna keep reading for it.

Author's Response:

Hey- it was just a shout out in the sense I wanted to acknowledge your support for this story and the help with weighing in on the lines - I don't think I slipped anything into the story. I'll try to in a future chapter if I can find a way that's organic. But I do appreciate your excitement for this story so wanted to let you know.

Pam's romantic problems are not all her problems, when we meet her in season 1 and get to know her more in season 2 she seems a little broken like she's lost her way - I wanted to bring that out too, in a subtle way. Remind the reader and her too - and you know I like my symbolism and circularity. Glad you are noticing these mentions.

Still not sure exactly how time travel works and i'm still making it up as I go along -taking all my movie references into account- but I'm having fun with all the ways having a second set of M and P affect the original timeline and well as the other way around, case in point, this one with Ryan.

To me Michael never means to be awful and with his childlike behavior has trouble taking blame ( I believe he was internally devastated in Scott's Tots) but something about Pam allows him to peel away some of that armor and get out what he truly feels. and Pam knows exactly how to deal with her first child even if he was not her *firstborn*. #MammaPam

Star Wars bit was more about getting in the lines about understanding the past/future with the knowledge of the other - but had secondary to it was the whole JF & Star Wars idea and the idea that Dwight and Jim also have a bond even if they too can't admit it.

I would have liked to have her come to her senses right there - but where would be the fun in that - and what would we do for two more weeks (and 16 or so more chapters?) 

As always  - big Thank you! 

Reviewer: grc73 Signed [Report This]
Date: November 14, 2021 01:11 pm Title: Chapter 9 -The Brig

Well that was a big ol' chunky chapter of goodness! Lots going on here, some great descriptions around Pam's fear of losing Michael, Ryan's "woah" moment, and that ongoing river in Africa we call denial. Great stuff, Lady!

Author's Response:

"Chunky" chapter comes later but you know that. LOL.

Hope you enjoyed all the new additions to this one since your last read - and the subtle little line that is a call forward to something in the later one you just got. 

Hope I messed up Ryan a little bit - he can use a little taking down a notch (although he really wasn't all that bad yet in the show.)

Thanks for taking time to read both then and now again.

 

 

Reviewer: tinydundie Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: November 14, 2021 08:59 am Title: Chapter 9 -The Brig

Ooh, interesting. So she knows for sure the "crush" is current. I do like that she has not actually heard the L word from his mouth, so she can still pretend this isn't as big a deal as it is. Still, I'm eager to see what she does with this information. Clever the way you had the wind cover up some of the more pertinent bits of that conversation.

*She wondered however, if they still gave out those wings? How she loved hers as a child. Not because she was so interested in aviation, but because the shiny memento somehow gave her a lift and the sense her future was wide open like the skies the planes soared through to get from one destination to the next.*

I love your idea of correlating these wings to something Pam wants that she could not go after out of fear.

Ryan seeing duplicate Michael made me laugh… he’s the perfect choice to see it and then immediately disregard it.

I like that you had Pam not liking Star Wars… perhaps because of Jenna? Haha. (Blasphemous to the both of them!)

*At the same time, she couldn’t help being washed over by a wave of disappointment, the same one she felt when in the same instance she both learned of Jim’s previous infatuation with her and that it had long since passed. That any romantic feelings he had for her were a momentary tick on the timeline of their relationship, a flash of heat that cooled before it could flourish beyond a friendship, because she was involved with someone else and Jim was not the kind of guy to pursue someone else’s girlfriend, much less fiancée.*

I really like this summation of what she must have been feeling when she first learned of his "crush." Really on point.

Another great chapter!

Author's Response:

Thanks TD - always excited to see what stood out for you ...

Yeah, hearing it this way while a little more impactful that when she heard it in the secret is nonetheless not quite hearing him say I'm in love with you and seeing him tear up - and yet even there, even after that kiss she still decides to stay with Roy so not so far-fetched that she would do the same here.

Ahh, but what she didn't have then was time - since he took right off for Stamford -and this story is all about time. 

I am hugely into symbolism - there was so much sprinkled in this chapter - you picked up on a lot of it - the wings. I guess your story was an influence here - with its focuses on 9/11.

The Star Wars (more about the lines about better understanding of future /past with knowledge of the other than Jenna connection but I will admit it was that as well.

She definitely was a little sad in the Secret when she found out - my take at least.

Thanks so much for your review on this one. So glad you are along for the trip. 

Reviewer: boredhswf Signed [Report This]
Date: November 13, 2021 06:06 am Title: Chapter 8 - Questions

“There was one voice she knew could shut hers up so she asked him to take a walk with her, but instead of a diversion, she got silence. Silence so loud, she had to return to the rowdiness of the crowds to stop hearing it.” —Ugh this part was so good.

I love how you had her focusing on spinning her ring on occasion. It ties in wonderfully with the underpinnings of the true reason she does it and the time turner in this story.

And of course it’s always humorous when she has to essentially babysit Michael and now he is an errant child. Great job!

Author's Response:

Thank you - thank you - thank you - you know how much I love reviews and hearing the parts you enjoyed.

This was one of my favorite lines too.

Lots of spinning in this story, lots of circularity and much more symbolism to come. 

I've said before this story will be so much more than Jim and Pam's - Michael's a big part throughout - among other reasons because he is is so fun to include.

 

Reviewer: warrior4 Signed [Report This]
Date: November 08, 2021 12:14 pm Title: Chapter 8 - Questions

Interesting getting in on Past Pam's thoughts. How she's surprised the Jim has barely told Katy anything about himself. How he has told her just about everything and did so quickly too. Why could that be Pam? Why would a guy be so quick to talk to you but not other women? Granted Past Pam is still a LONG way from figuring that out, but still it feels like one of those doubts that's causeing Future Pam to twirl her ring so much.

Speaking of Future Pam. Kinda feels like she's lost here. She has some information about how to go forward, but it's just dead end after dead end. The only way forward requires some courage to do somthing she normally wouldn't do. In what I would call typical early Pam fashion she does everything she can to avoid the hard choice that requires some more courage until there's just no other option.

20+ chapters and we're only on number 8? Wow, looks like there's still a long way to go till things get all straigtend out. I'm here for it though.

Author's Response:

Warrior - love these reviews - how you put together what Pam just can't figure out yet. And see the cause and effect of events in both timelines.

And as usual you are great at seeing the subtleties that were layered in to Pam's wandering - not just there to fill up the chapter.

Pam's been at this denial game for so long she's become quite the expert so it's going to take a lot to break the Imperius curse cast over her - a lot! Glad you are here for it.

Thanks so much for the review - really means so much to read them.  

 

Reviewer: tinydundie Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: November 07, 2021 07:41 am Title: Chapter 8 - Questions

I like a lot of your Pam inner monologue in this chapter, it's like she knows something is wrong with her life but isn't actively facing it. It's a lot easier to swallow this way than a Pam who seems actually happy. I really hope you are doing Past Pam's inner mono when Roy sets the date next chapter because I always wonder about that Pam.

*There was nothing exciting about a wedding that wasn’t being planned or a fiancé who after asking her to marry him three years ago, seemed to have forgotten he had.*

Ouch. See, I would love to see her thought process going from this to the next phase.

*Solitude, it was a treasure for some, not always for Pam. There were times when the subtle voices in her head that formed questions about her choices got a little too loud when there weren’t others around to drown them out. *

This is so good. Ignore, deny, look the other way. Now that she's being forced to watch some of this stuff it'll be interesting to see how those things might change...

Author's Response:

Pam is pretty complex in these early seasons - I think she believes that she is truly happy and she even has moments of true happiness - but it's pretty apparent she really isn't satisfied with where she is at in love or life. I'm just trying to bring that out a little more.

This episode actually showed it well - she went from 'not getting Roy' to one of those pure joy moments; even if it was misplaced/false happiness I saw it as real.

That's what she's been doing for so long she's become an expert at it - so it's going to take a whole lot of being forced to confront it to break the spell.

Thanks as always for your wonderful reviews.

 

 

Reviewer: grc73 Signed [Report This]
Date: November 07, 2021 04:54 am Title: Chapter 8 - Questions

Lots of important set-up for future chapters (I've done some time travelling myself ;)) - lots of great writing!

Author's Response:

Well thank you - 

I hope you are enjoying all the new stuff layered in - as a time traveler you know how some of it plays in - but even have some surprises left for you.

Thanks again for reading and reviewing from both ends. 

Reviewer: darjeelingandcoke Signed [Report This]
Date: November 06, 2021 11:55 am Title: Chapter 8 - Questions

Kinda love the Katy-Pam interaction here. Interesting to see how those two deal with each other and how Katy regards Pam. This feels true to Booze Cruise in the way that Katy treats her more as a potential ally than a threat. Poor Katy... you can really tell how much Jim's held her at arm's length here. On the other hand, the leap from "I know zero about my boyfriend" to "I'd like to be engaged" is a big one. Feels like she's more enamored with the idea of Jim than the real Jim here.

"There’d most surely be a major upheaval, a commotion that would bring everyone aboard to the site of convergence, creating confusion and panic, screaming and fainting, and quite possibly more people jumping out the windows into the freezing waters." That would be my exact response to discovering myself on a boat with two Michael Scotts.

This idea of the voices of doubt constantly crowding Pam's head and how Jim's voice is the only one that quiets them... I like that. I like that a lot. And you continue to make highly amusing use of Pam's hard-earned understanding of Michael here, too. I bet you he would at least have *tried* to get to the real command center of the boat.

Pam trying to apparate is hilarious. #JimIsPamsPatronus

Author's Response:

In this interest of getting back to writing will try to be brief - but always do want to let it be known how much I appreciate each and every review...

Filling in the early part of the Katy /Pam conversation felt like a good place to layer in some more of Pam's connection to Jim that she still doesn't quite understand the significance of.

Glad you are still digging on the Pam and Michael relationship - this story is as much about them as it is about Jam.

Thrilled you mentioned the apparating...I was a little worried it was a step to far from Pam's character but after time traveling I figured she'd have to be a little more open to stuff like this....and besides I promised there'd be Harry Potter stuff in the summary.

Jim absolutely is Pam's Patronus!!!!!!!! Kinda love that hashtag! Only she doesn't know it yet. 

 

Reviewer: boredhswf Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: October 28, 2021 12:24 pm Title: Chapter 7 - 27 Seconds

I love the format that you used here counting down the seconds and how painfully aware she was that is was that long.

What surprised me about this chapter was the complete heartbreak of Jim standing there long after she had left and her murmured ‘Oh Jim’ that echoed into his soul. SO good!!

“ In less than an hour she would once more have an actual wedding date set. Her dreams of becoming a bride would be closer than they’d ever been, so close that she had an appointment booked to try on gowns with her mom and Penny.

In no more than 60 minutes, both versions of herself would be experiencing happiness she’d been waiting so long for.

Right now, she couldn’t worry that a second look at the incident that preceded that pure joy, was causing conflicting feelings to form around that happiness.” —Yep. That’s Pam all right. Completely circumventing her true feelings for the ‘idea’ of love and holding on to a manufacturered dream built with nothing false promises and wishful thinking.

Love the Randall reveal and the calm all knowing vibe he has.

This was a GREAT chapter!

Author's Response:

Thanks so much -as you know I was afraid this chapter might be hard to "buy" but it seems I've sold it well. And that bit with Jim standing there after she went downstairs - broke my heart a little to write it so thanks for mentioning it. 

Glad you're all in agreement about what Pam we are dealing with- even with the chance to see it all again she still is rooted in who she is - and I blame a lot of that on the evil brute doing snorkel shots down below. It will take a little more that 27, err 54 seconds, to crack that shell.

Again many thanks for always sharing your thoughts. They mean a lot.

Reviewer: darjeelingandcoke Signed [Report This]
Date: October 28, 2021 11:05 am Title: Chapter 7 - 27 Seconds

"her auburn hair seemed more brown than red" - this is a whole twist in the "what color is Pam's hair debate" I don't think we've discussed. Is Pam being accurately depicted on camera?

I think you did well digging into what a mindscrew this would be for Pam, living through this moment a second time. This is all too new to her still to not be bizarre and unsettling above all.

But I think the thing I like best about the chapter is that you've put Time Traveling Pam in the shoes of the audience. It all seems very obvious to us as observers, but we're seeing plenty that In Timeline Pam doesn't, including things she couldn't like what Jim looks like after she leaves and the look on her own face. Yes, she's still having trouble reaching the obvious conclusion, because she's Season 2 Pam, but you get the sense here that if she saw everything we saw, it'd be as obvious to her as it was to us. Same thing with Roy's speech - detached from the emotions of the moment, and her being too busy experiencing it to analyze it, maybe Pam will see it in a different light.

(This interests me in particular with Pam's discovery that Randall is filming and the growth of that relationship... she now knows she has indefinite opportunities to observe scenes like this, even once she's back in her own timeline.)

Pam being too blind to recognize her idea that Roy must put *the same* sparkle in her eyes as Jim does is telling, and VERY Pam. *sigh*

Pam getting some of Randall's guidance as she moves forward should be fun to see play out. And as an aficionado, I really appreciate you putting Pam explicitly in conversation with the time travel rules of various fictional universes. Be a natural enough thought for someone in her shoes, and we're all thinking it too. Delightfully meta.

Author's Response:

I knew if anyone was going to dig on the haircolor bit it would be you. Love that it was. I thought it would be a fun way to spark that debate some more (now if only a few more debaters read the chapter so they could weigh in.)

I was really nervous I was going to get a little push-back on the reaction Pam has here but I'm so glad that most are in agreement about Season 2 Pam's blinders. She does wear contacts after all.

as usual I love YOUR reviews- you always seem to flag the very things I was hoping someone would notice.

Are you time travel obsessed too? WHy have we not discussed this? 

Thanks as always for making my own eyes light up as I read your reviews. 

 

 

Reviewer: warrior4 Signed [Report This]
Date: October 28, 2021 10:56 am Title: Chapter 7 - 27 Seconds

Loved all the Harry Potter metaphors with this one. Future Pam watching the 27 seconds of silence as if looking through a pensive. Randall quoting and acting as the proverbial Dumbledore. All great.

Yes it would have been nice for Pam to have her wake up moment here. But you're right there's a very thick layer of denial she's living under right now. However there's also still a bit more of the Booze Cruise to unfold as well as two more weeks of perspective to get before Future Pam catches up with her own timeline. Also she now knows Randall is aware of Future Pam. Another outside observer which could also add some insights.

She may be living under denial but it felt as if the thoughts and feelings under that denial are getting just a bit stronger. Not strong enough to break through yet, but pushing harder. Wearing things down just a bit more. Nice work.

Author's Response:

The HP stuff was really fun to throw in and I felt I owed it to my readers with the original story description. 

You are right, it's too soon and Pam too closed off now to see clearly but you are also right maybe the experience defogged her windshield if only just a smidge. And once more - there's a while to go on the boat and in the past.

Thanks as always for a review that let's me know I'm doing my job with this one. And let's me know you are enjoying it. Always a thrill to get them. 

Reviewer: grc73 Signed [Report This]
Date: October 28, 2021 07:26 am Title: Chapter 7 - 27 Seconds

Yep. This is spot on. And Pam is seeing things from a different viewpoint for the first time and very likely shocking herself.

I loved the counting of every second and that denial is going to be difficult to maintain as time goes on!

Author's Response:

Don't you know it- wink, wink.

Many thanks for this review and for all the help in the past and the future.  

 

 

Reviewer: tinydundie Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: October 28, 2021 07:18 am Title: Chapter 7 - 27 Seconds

This chapter was so good! I was anxious to see how you'd handle this one, since you're adhering to canon and Pam obviously can't have some sort of wakeup call here. But her thought process felt very true, and I love that she was able to watch Jim afterwards like that.

*Being here reminded Pam of another Harry Potter phenomenon, that of the swirling blue liquid in the pensive which, upon the addition of a fluid thread pulled from out of his brain with his wand, allowed Dumbledore to see the things he’d seen before. Pam wondered if what she was feeling now was similar to how it felt when Harry fell into the eddy in the large silver urn to relive a time from the past. She had the slight sensation of being underwater, as if floating, but that she could attribute to the motion of the boat.*

Love all the HP references but this one especially hit me.

RANDALL! How brilliant that he's seen this before but no one will believe him because he's a great editor? HA! My husband the editor would appreciate this.

*All the thoughts, all the feelings bubbling up from way down below, both times she was on this cruise—the ones that had been fighting so hard to make their way up through the depths, that nearly rose to the height where they might break through the surface, they were drowned once more. Her rejection of transformation of any kind causing them to sink way back to where they came from, almost as if they never existed.*

And that, ladies in gentlemen, is Pam in a nutshell.

Great work on this one! Can't wait to see what Michael thinks of Randall seeing them and the effect this will all have on the rest of the series...

Author's Response:

Here I was worried that everyone would be like 'come on...what are you trying to pull?' and you all seem with me that it will take a lot longer than 27 seconds (or 54 since it's the second time around for Pam 2) to get her to make a change...

Glad you liked the HP stuff too. Lots of great stuff there when it comes to time bending and the mystical.

Randall kinda snuck into this story when I was writing - glad it's also working out.

Thanks for the review. Always highly appreciated! 

 

 

 

Reviewer: boredhswf Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: October 24, 2021 12:15 pm Title: Chapter 6 - Code Word: Hermione

Okay so the part where he does his Elvis impression at the checkout was so funny and I definitely appreciate the level of attention to detail you have going here. I imagine your notes are extensive with so many things to keep track of.

On the boat, I love the whole concept of her seeing things she didn't see before (like Roy) and also her awareness that Jim would notice things like her clothing. I keep thinking she's going to turn a corner and find him cheating.

I'm veeeery interested in this Randall angle! What does he know?

I love how you are setting this up and I really hope she sees and hears something that will open her eyes. GREAT cliffhanger.

Author's Response:

Lots of things to pay attention to that could circle back or mean something later - good thing you have an eye for detail.

Speaking of eyes - yes she needs to open her eyes but it's Pam - it's going to be a long journey. 

The Randall angle just beginning. 

Thanks for reading and your reviews. 

Reviewer: boredhswf Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: October 22, 2021 09:31 am Title: Chapter 3. The Discovery

As anyone knows who has ever read anything I’ve written, I’m firmly in the camp of Roy is just an irredeemable, terrible human being but I always thought there was more to the the Jim and Pam interaction at the beginning of this episode. It always seemed like the way she said “a little” was very loaded and you can tell it messed with Jim’s head a bit. I love that you give us a little insight to what happened there and to the fact that she might of actually enjoyed herself.

I appreciate how she quickly realizes she can’t alter the past for the sake of the present. I also appreciate how you wrote Michael as completely unfazed by the entire notion that they have time traveled. Again, you write him really well.

Great chapter!

Author's Response:

One of the biggest challenges in writing this story (especially once getting into it) was the whole Roy bit. I mean in canon she was with him for almost 10 years and I struggled throughout my creating this to figure out why.

I decided there had to be some happy times, some good memories, something like I said besides inertia. If ever there was a time she and he would be getting along and she would be feeling loved by him, it would be post re-engagement. 

But don't worry, plenty of hateable Roy to come too.

Thanks as always for sharing your feelings and your thoughts on this story. It's always so inspiring to hear from you.

 

 

 

Reviewer: tinydundie Signed [Report This]
Date: October 18, 2021 12:15 pm Title: Chapter 6 - Code Word: Hermione

*But she did enjoy being able to show off what little knowledge she had, and while they both still laughed when she did, Jim’s amusement seeming more of the ‘with her’ variety, while Roy’s leaning a touch more towards ‘at her’, they both showed their pleasure at her attempts.*

Oh, Pam. Wake up, lol.

I screamed at the "Cocktail" reference. This strikes me as a movie Pam would enjoy and then be embarrassed to admit to Jim she enjoyed it.

Still digging Pam Momming Michael, and very interested in seeing what (if anything) they affect on the cruise...

Author's Response:

So behind on everything-thanks for sticking with this story and the review.

Pam's got a long journey ahead and a lot to see before she 'wakes up' but i promise this is not a dream.

Glad you liked and got the Cocktail reference - I imagine that didn't play for everyone but I still can see Tom doing the Hippy Hippy Shake and so Pam could too.

Lots more of Michael and Pam to come.

 

Reviewer: darjeelingandcoke Signed [Report This]
Date: October 17, 2021 10:15 am Title: Chapter 6 - Code Word: Hermione

"He must have looked up nautical terms back a few weeks ago when planning this shindig and learned the meaning of coxswain, hoping to find some way to work in a that’s what she said joke over the course of the night." Yep. That... that is what happened. Absolutely. This feels like a huge missed opportunity in canon too.

Pam's pride at using the baseball analogy is sweet... and also a very apt description of Michael. Just when you think he's out of trouble, he always finds a way to leap right back in. His not-quite-getting-it password suggestions were spot on, too.

For the record: I think Stanley noticed. He just doesn't care. "Yes, Pam is time traveling. I wish I could time travel too... forward. To me being in my head asleep and not on this damn boat."

There's some fun bar material too... I would actually be willing to be at a lot of money that both canon Creed and the actual Creed Bratton are pretty good shakes as a bartender.

I'd actually kinda love to see a conversation between the two Pams. I think they'd have a lot to talk about.

Eeeeeep. That's a heck of a cliffhanger to leave us on. And feels like a good way to get Pam to reset her expectations - on the boat to make sure he gets engaged, but incidentally and accidentally getting a second chance to observe the 27 seconds. Looking forward to seeing how that goes for her...

Author's Response:

As usual, I'm grinning widely as I read your review. 

You crack me up with the comment about Stanley - now you have nailed him.

I 100% believe that about Creed - but wonder who if anyone gets the Tom Cruise, Cocktail reference. 

Don't worry - while Pam won;t get to talk to herself she will get someone to talk to...

Again I really am sorry to make these chapters so short but each one short as they are are taking a lot of careful planning. 

But two things happen in next chapter I hope will please you - even if they don't make this story get written any faster.

Thanks as always for the review!!!! 

 

 

Reviewer: grc73 Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: October 16, 2021 04:41 pm Title: Chapter 6 - Code Word: Hermione

I love this chapter. Pam nearly bumping into herself, Michael being Michael, I got the end of the chapter wanting even more!

Author's Response:

 

MOre -You Want more?

Oh I got more for you.

Seriously though, thanks for both the early reviews and the current ones.

Cheers. 

Reviewer: warrior4 Signed [Report This]
Date: October 16, 2021 12:53 pm Title: Chapter 6 - Code Word: Hermione

Ok, need to pause reading this because of the opening lines. I have this image of Micheal saying coxswain like how it reads, "cox-swain," which also translates to his new nickname for Pam. This rather than the correct nautical pronuciation of, "cox'sun." Ok, back to reading.

Kind of an introspective chapter this time around. With maybe just a couple more puzzle pieces falling into place. Jim laughs with her while Roy laughs at her.

At this point in the night it's interesting that you still have her in denial about how Roy behaves when he's drunk. I wonder if that will change at all as the night goes on. I know past Pam was over the moon that Roy finally set a date that night. Will Future Pam feel the same way if she happens to overhear the coversation that led to that declaration? Likewise if Future Pam overhears how cool Jim was with Katy at the end? Lots of possiblities as to how this can go and I'm 100% here for it.

Author's Response:

However the latter pronounced, the first part has cox and since Michael is like a 8 year boy, I could only imagine his laughter at thinking of how he could put it in use on the night- but thanks to your pointing this out in the review I added a line to clarify how he also botches another word here. SO big thanks there -writing FF - It takes a village.

I few more little insights - yes. 

I know this story is moving along at a slow pace - but it is meant to be a slow burn. In fact, just because she is time travelling -she still is the person who took ten years to see how wrong Roy was for her - and then went back to him again. But perhaps seeing things again, from different angles and ...nope I won't say more now - that would take away the fun.

I'm glad you are here for it - and thanks for that and as always your thoughtful review.

 

 

 

Reviewer: boredhswf Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: October 15, 2021 02:14 pm Title: Chapter 2. Strange Trip

I’m so intrigued at how they are going to get out of this! It was such a well written chapter that the end snuck up on me.

Excellent use of Gaussian, by the way.

The entire sequence of them traveling was so well done and the imagery so vivid that I could see everything so clearly in my mind. Great chapter!

Author's Response:

You know how certain scenes come to you - and are written before everything else...and the everything else gets filled in around it? That was the time traveling sequence so I'm tickled you noticed it and could see it. 

Time travel does create a lot of limitations but half the fun here is getting them out of it (the other half is the hard part).

Thank you again for such high praise - really does mean so much. 

 

 

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