OH MY GOD. So much greatness in this chapter, I've been waiting for this one for a long time, Max and it did not disappoint!

*She knew time was still progressing and yet her sense of it felt irrelevant, the days ahead for her original life were preordained to exist much as they had been, as she remembered.

But now it was if she could feel time moving again. In the silence of the room, the ticks of the clock on the wall were thunderous, synchronized in step with her own beating heart that seemed almost as loud. No longer on a path she knew where was taking her, no more certain what her future had in store, she felt lost and unable to make decisions for the Pam that was that enclosed in the conference room. That Pam was still stuck in her past, acting without the knowledge she alone had.*

Beautiful.

*Plus, the incongruity of messages from her brain and her heart were like flies at a picnic, relentless in their increasingly loud buzzing and becoming harder to ignore. Better she be the fly, unnoticed on the wall, catching small bits of information through the interaction with Jim. She knew she couldn’t trust what her other self might be remembering anyway; that version had long since accepted there were flies in her life and was content to live with them.*

This is a great analogy. Makes me think of fireflies, if you know what I'm referring to :)

*What happened to the woman who stood up to him last night? Where had she gone?

She knew. The other Pam would soon be back, the one who let him crush her spirit and her ambitions in order to keep their relationship from becoming volatile and unstable.

But when did she learn to accept his dismissal of her aspirations?

When did she come to hide what she was all about because her dreams weren’t aligned with his?

When did she become so quick to follow in his wake, even when it wasn’t the direction she wanted to go?*

These are really great story beats. The momentum in this chapter is fab.

*Though he would never admit it, she knew he’d seen and loved everything the SNL alum starred in, most notably, The Wedding Singer, which she like to tease was the real number one movie on his desert island list and not When Harry Met Sally as he liked to claim.*

Okay, I knew you did this for me before I even read your author note and I love you for it.

*Though her other self still refused to see it, or perhaps she did now that Kelly so persistently pointed it out, but that her song with Roy was about a couple who didn’t wind up together was a big tell. That Jewel believed her lover would come back to her was almost as delusional as Pam thinking Roy still made her happy.*

Love that you brought this back and YES. So true!

*She needed to see Randall bend the rules to let her see what she missed and hear his words of wisdom so she could learn the future was not immutable, not because of time travel but because she could control it herself.*

God I wish this had really happened, that Pam could have been this brave after this episode. She was in such denial. Until recently I thought you weren't going to diverge from canon but I'm really happy you did (or at least it seems you will...?)

Wonderful chapter. Sad I'm out of jellies. Excited to see what's next!

Author's Response:

Thanks- really made my morning getting this review. It Took a long time to get to this chapter and I'm so glad it lived up.

So glad you recognized and appreciated my little nod to you - one of my fav things about writing on this site is the community vibe and dropping in little connections like that to other stories and writers.

You know I can't say....but there will be more that feels familiar and also some surprises.

Thank you again for your review.  

*Rolls neck around, stretches out hands, and hopes to all things good and JAM the radio here at work stays quiet for the time it takes to write this*

So we plunge right in here. Love that Pam is sneaking around like this. Trying to observe everything and get more information about it all. She's a very clever woman and it shows here how she's able to keep tabs on most everything and at the same time stay hidden. Her time as Jim's partner-in-crime have served her well.

Some longer thoughts to get things started for sure. I also really love that she turns to her art to start and focus things. I didn't get it at the time, but it was a nice bit of foreshadowing as to how she was going to try and hold onto everything she's gone through at this point in her journey.

Then she can get a look at herself talking to Jim and she sees how they both light each other up. I think she's realizing that she's never really been able to shine like that unless she's around Jim. Contrast that with how downtrodden she becomes after she talks to Roy about the internship. One man makes her burn like the sun, the other pulls in any light like a black hole. No wonder it's after that viewing that Future Pam finally comes to realize she needs to take that ring off her finger. I'm right there with you Future Pam. Where is the woman who held her own against Roy?

"What began as small observations and droplets of understanding had over the course of two weeks snowballed to an avalanche that with its collapse created this new Pam, somebody who had the strength to call off something she knew neither of the versions wanted any longer, even if only one of them knew it." *Grins* Thank you. The avalanche is here in full force for sure. While Past Pam might have been flattened by it, Future Pam though has some steel in her spine now. Even though there's a rush of snow and debris crashing around her, it feels like all that debris is stripping off the layers of denial and self doubt she's been holding onto. Roy is exposed as a guy who is still the same guy he was in high school. Only interested in her for what she can do for him in the relationship. Jim though (skipping ahead a bit but I think it still fits) is seen as someone who not only will stand by her during the onslaught of the avalanche but challenge her to continue to refine the steel she's forged and make it even stronger. Hard to see that for sure in the forging process, but it's there.

What I really loved the manifesto she creates for herself. Not just because of the image of the silver wings she got from that pilot ( ;) ) but because Future Pam here has really figured out what she wants and who she truly loves. She's being an active agent in her own life rather than letting life happen around her and I love it!

It's really no wonder that she breaks out in tears when she watches her and Jim fight. Also nice callback to canon Pam's final talking head. She's right, the signs have been there all along. It's feels like Future Pam has been ripped out of the show and she's now sitting with us the fans screaming at Past Pam at what's right there in front of her.

So now Future Pam knows where she wants her path to go and who she wants to walk down that path with. She's doing everything she can to do that, but the fog of the future is now on her. I'm really looking forward to seeing what happens with Past Pam finds that manifesto and what will happen because of it. Also finding out just what's up with Randall and Gabby. There's something there for sure.

Great job as usual and thanks for the shoutouts. Wish I still had some jellybeans to give this chapter.

Author's Response:

Argghh - working on my desktop when the power went out (for no apparent reason) and with it so did my internet and my response to your review. 

Anyway will try to remember what I had said. 

What a detailed review. Thanks to a quiet radio and to you. You really do have a pulse on what I am setting up here, so much so that it has impacted some of the writing. Thank you for that snowball/avalanche metaphor. It did work well here.

Yes, there is more to come. Let's see if Pam (which one you ask?) can retain her steely spine? TIME will tell. Okay I'm being cagey to try and keep some suspense as you have been as clearsighted here as Pam has become and very in tune with my foreshadowing. What I can say is your reviews are just so enjoyable to read.

Thank you ever so much.

Okay, definitely accidentally refreshed halfway through, let's see how much of that review I can recreate.

The way Pam felt safer when she was unable to change things and desperately trying not to than now, when she's experiencing new things, is a *really* good use of genre to explore characterization.

This description of trying to hang onto dreams is Spot. On,

I'm just starting to get that Pam Prime has effectively time traveled into the future. Fun!

PAM'S POKER FACE. I love her being able to see what we all see again, and the call-forward is clever.

THE CHIPMUNK STORY!

Holy CRAP BREAKTHROUGH MOMENT FOR OUR PAM. MULTIPLE BREAKTHROUGH MOMENTS IN FACT.

I continue to really enjoy how you're giving Pam a chance to analyze her behavior the same way we all did, and let her reach the same conclusions.

Author's Response:

I hate when that happens - and it has happened more than once to me. 

Thanks first for all the typo pickups - I knew there were a lot and I do appreciate you catching them and so fast too. 

So that dream thing - I'm glad it came across, and don't you hate that. You know you had a dream - a good one - and you have no idea what it was and even if you could remember - either way - poof its gone and with it that amazing feeling you were in. I worried that part would not translate well. Works with nightmares too, that heart racing panic you have no idea why you wake up having, but that description is for another story (and I already know which one).

Not quite, but all the things she's doing in her travel to the past are having their effect on what the other her is experiencing in her present and effectively that's getting her to the future maybe a bit "ahead of schedule"?!?!?

You know how I like to meld my stories together and even bring in parts of other's too (always hoping it's viewed as intended as a tribute and not otherwise)

Thank you again for the editor's eye, and the review. It means the world.