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Reviewer: darjeelingandcoke Signed [Report This]
Date: November 06, 2021 11:55 am Title: Chapter 8 - Questions

Kinda love the Katy-Pam interaction here. Interesting to see how those two deal with each other and how Katy regards Pam. This feels true to Booze Cruise in the way that Katy treats her more as a potential ally than a threat. Poor Katy... you can really tell how much Jim's held her at arm's length here. On the other hand, the leap from "I know zero about my boyfriend" to "I'd like to be engaged" is a big one. Feels like she's more enamored with the idea of Jim than the real Jim here.

"There’d most surely be a major upheaval, a commotion that would bring everyone aboard to the site of convergence, creating confusion and panic, screaming and fainting, and quite possibly more people jumping out the windows into the freezing waters." That would be my exact response to discovering myself on a boat with two Michael Scotts.

This idea of the voices of doubt constantly crowding Pam's head and how Jim's voice is the only one that quiets them... I like that. I like that a lot. And you continue to make highly amusing use of Pam's hard-earned understanding of Michael here, too. I bet you he would at least have *tried* to get to the real command center of the boat.

Pam trying to apparate is hilarious. #JimIsPamsPatronus

Author's Response:

In this interest of getting back to writing will try to be brief - but always do want to let it be known how much I appreciate each and every review...

Filling in the early part of the Katy /Pam conversation felt like a good place to layer in some more of Pam's connection to Jim that she still doesn't quite understand the significance of.

Glad you are still digging on the Pam and Michael relationship - this story is as much about them as it is about Jam.

Thrilled you mentioned the apparating...I was a little worried it was a step to far from Pam's character but after time traveling I figured she'd have to be a little more open to stuff like this....and besides I promised there'd be Harry Potter stuff in the summary.

Jim absolutely is Pam's Patronus!!!!!!!! Kinda love that hashtag! Only she doesn't know it yet. 

 

Reviewer: boredhswf Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: October 28, 2021 12:24 pm Title: Chapter 7 - 27 Seconds

I love the format that you used here counting down the seconds and how painfully aware she was that is was that long.

What surprised me about this chapter was the complete heartbreak of Jim standing there long after she had left and her murmured ‘Oh Jim’ that echoed into his soul. SO good!!

“ In less than an hour she would once more have an actual wedding date set. Her dreams of becoming a bride would be closer than they’d ever been, so close that she had an appointment booked to try on gowns with her mom and Penny.

In no more than 60 minutes, both versions of herself would be experiencing happiness she’d been waiting so long for.

Right now, she couldn’t worry that a second look at the incident that preceded that pure joy, was causing conflicting feelings to form around that happiness.” —Yep. That’s Pam all right. Completely circumventing her true feelings for the ‘idea’ of love and holding on to a manufacturered dream built with nothing false promises and wishful thinking.

Love the Randall reveal and the calm all knowing vibe he has.

This was a GREAT chapter!

Author's Response:

Thanks so much -as you know I was afraid this chapter might be hard to "buy" but it seems I've sold it well. And that bit with Jim standing there after she went downstairs - broke my heart a little to write it so thanks for mentioning it. 

Glad you're all in agreement about what Pam we are dealing with- even with the chance to see it all again she still is rooted in who she is - and I blame a lot of that on the evil brute doing snorkel shots down below. It will take a little more that 27, err 54 seconds, to crack that shell.

Again many thanks for always sharing your thoughts. They mean a lot.

Reviewer: darjeelingandcoke Signed [Report This]
Date: October 28, 2021 11:05 am Title: Chapter 7 - 27 Seconds

"her auburn hair seemed more brown than red" - this is a whole twist in the "what color is Pam's hair debate" I don't think we've discussed. Is Pam being accurately depicted on camera?

I think you did well digging into what a mindscrew this would be for Pam, living through this moment a second time. This is all too new to her still to not be bizarre and unsettling above all.

But I think the thing I like best about the chapter is that you've put Time Traveling Pam in the shoes of the audience. It all seems very obvious to us as observers, but we're seeing plenty that In Timeline Pam doesn't, including things she couldn't like what Jim looks like after she leaves and the look on her own face. Yes, she's still having trouble reaching the obvious conclusion, because she's Season 2 Pam, but you get the sense here that if she saw everything we saw, it'd be as obvious to her as it was to us. Same thing with Roy's speech - detached from the emotions of the moment, and her being too busy experiencing it to analyze it, maybe Pam will see it in a different light.

(This interests me in particular with Pam's discovery that Randall is filming and the growth of that relationship... she now knows she has indefinite opportunities to observe scenes like this, even once she's back in her own timeline.)

Pam being too blind to recognize her idea that Roy must put *the same* sparkle in her eyes as Jim does is telling, and VERY Pam. *sigh*

Pam getting some of Randall's guidance as she moves forward should be fun to see play out. And as an aficionado, I really appreciate you putting Pam explicitly in conversation with the time travel rules of various fictional universes. Be a natural enough thought for someone in her shoes, and we're all thinking it too. Delightfully meta.

Author's Response:

I knew if anyone was going to dig on the haircolor bit it would be you. Love that it was. I thought it would be a fun way to spark that debate some more (now if only a few more debaters read the chapter so they could weigh in.)

I was really nervous I was going to get a little push-back on the reaction Pam has here but I'm so glad that most are in agreement about Season 2 Pam's blinders. She does wear contacts after all.

as usual I love YOUR reviews- you always seem to flag the very things I was hoping someone would notice.

Are you time travel obsessed too? WHy have we not discussed this? 

Thanks as always for making my own eyes light up as I read your reviews. 

 

 

Reviewer: warrior4 Signed [Report This]
Date: October 28, 2021 10:56 am Title: Chapter 7 - 27 Seconds

Loved all the Harry Potter metaphors with this one. Future Pam watching the 27 seconds of silence as if looking through a pensive. Randall quoting and acting as the proverbial Dumbledore. All great.

Yes it would have been nice for Pam to have her wake up moment here. But you're right there's a very thick layer of denial she's living under right now. However there's also still a bit more of the Booze Cruise to unfold as well as two more weeks of perspective to get before Future Pam catches up with her own timeline. Also she now knows Randall is aware of Future Pam. Another outside observer which could also add some insights.

She may be living under denial but it felt as if the thoughts and feelings under that denial are getting just a bit stronger. Not strong enough to break through yet, but pushing harder. Wearing things down just a bit more. Nice work.

Author's Response:

The HP stuff was really fun to throw in and I felt I owed it to my readers with the original story description. 

You are right, it's too soon and Pam too closed off now to see clearly but you are also right maybe the experience defogged her windshield if only just a smidge. And once more - there's a while to go on the boat and in the past.

Thanks as always for a review that let's me know I'm doing my job with this one. And let's me know you are enjoying it. Always a thrill to get them. 

Reviewer: grc73 Signed [Report This]
Date: October 28, 2021 07:26 am Title: Chapter 7 - 27 Seconds

Yep. This is spot on. And Pam is seeing things from a different viewpoint for the first time and very likely shocking herself.

I loved the counting of every second and that denial is going to be difficult to maintain as time goes on!

Author's Response:

Don't you know it- wink, wink.

Many thanks for this review and for all the help in the past and the future.  

 

 

Reviewer: tinydundie Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: October 28, 2021 07:18 am Title: Chapter 7 - 27 Seconds

This chapter was so good! I was anxious to see how you'd handle this one, since you're adhering to canon and Pam obviously can't have some sort of wakeup call here. But her thought process felt very true, and I love that she was able to watch Jim afterwards like that.

*Being here reminded Pam of another Harry Potter phenomenon, that of the swirling blue liquid in the pensive which, upon the addition of a fluid thread pulled from out of his brain with his wand, allowed Dumbledore to see the things he’d seen before. Pam wondered if what she was feeling now was similar to how it felt when Harry fell into the eddy in the large silver urn to relive a time from the past. She had the slight sensation of being underwater, as if floating, but that she could attribute to the motion of the boat.*

Love all the HP references but this one especially hit me.

RANDALL! How brilliant that he's seen this before but no one will believe him because he's a great editor? HA! My husband the editor would appreciate this.

*All the thoughts, all the feelings bubbling up from way down below, both times she was on this cruise—the ones that had been fighting so hard to make their way up through the depths, that nearly rose to the height where they might break through the surface, they were drowned once more. Her rejection of transformation of any kind causing them to sink way back to where they came from, almost as if they never existed.*

And that, ladies in gentlemen, is Pam in a nutshell.

Great work on this one! Can't wait to see what Michael thinks of Randall seeing them and the effect this will all have on the rest of the series...

Author's Response:

Here I was worried that everyone would be like 'come on...what are you trying to pull?' and you all seem with me that it will take a lot longer than 27 seconds (or 54 since it's the second time around for Pam 2) to get her to make a change...

Glad you liked the HP stuff too. Lots of great stuff there when it comes to time bending and the mystical.

Randall kinda snuck into this story when I was writing - glad it's also working out.

Thanks for the review. Always highly appreciated! 

 

 

 

Reviewer: boredhswf Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: October 24, 2021 12:15 pm Title: Chapter 6 - Code Word: Hermione

Okay so the part where he does his Elvis impression at the checkout was so funny and I definitely appreciate the level of attention to detail you have going here. I imagine your notes are extensive with so many things to keep track of.

On the boat, I love the whole concept of her seeing things she didn't see before (like Roy) and also her awareness that Jim would notice things like her clothing. I keep thinking she's going to turn a corner and find him cheating.

I'm veeeery interested in this Randall angle! What does he know?

I love how you are setting this up and I really hope she sees and hears something that will open her eyes. GREAT cliffhanger.

Author's Response:

Lots of things to pay attention to that could circle back or mean something later - good thing you have an eye for detail.

Speaking of eyes - yes she needs to open her eyes but it's Pam - it's going to be a long journey. 

The Randall angle just beginning. 

Thanks for reading and your reviews. 

Reviewer: boredhswf Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: October 22, 2021 09:31 am Title: Chapter 3. The Discovery

As anyone knows who has ever read anything I’ve written, I’m firmly in the camp of Roy is just an irredeemable, terrible human being but I always thought there was more to the the Jim and Pam interaction at the beginning of this episode. It always seemed like the way she said “a little” was very loaded and you can tell it messed with Jim’s head a bit. I love that you give us a little insight to what happened there and to the fact that she might of actually enjoyed herself.

I appreciate how she quickly realizes she can’t alter the past for the sake of the present. I also appreciate how you wrote Michael as completely unfazed by the entire notion that they have time traveled. Again, you write him really well.

Great chapter!

Author's Response:

One of the biggest challenges in writing this story (especially once getting into it) was the whole Roy bit. I mean in canon she was with him for almost 10 years and I struggled throughout my creating this to figure out why.

I decided there had to be some happy times, some good memories, something like I said besides inertia. If ever there was a time she and he would be getting along and she would be feeling loved by him, it would be post re-engagement. 

But don't worry, plenty of hateable Roy to come too.

Thanks as always for sharing your feelings and your thoughts on this story. It's always so inspiring to hear from you.

 

 

 

Reviewer: tinydundie Signed [Report This]
Date: October 18, 2021 12:15 pm Title: Chapter 6 - Code Word: Hermione

*But she did enjoy being able to show off what little knowledge she had, and while they both still laughed when she did, Jim’s amusement seeming more of the ‘with her’ variety, while Roy’s leaning a touch more towards ‘at her’, they both showed their pleasure at her attempts.*

Oh, Pam. Wake up, lol.

I screamed at the "Cocktail" reference. This strikes me as a movie Pam would enjoy and then be embarrassed to admit to Jim she enjoyed it.

Still digging Pam Momming Michael, and very interested in seeing what (if anything) they affect on the cruise...

Author's Response:

So behind on everything-thanks for sticking with this story and the review.

Pam's got a long journey ahead and a lot to see before she 'wakes up' but i promise this is not a dream.

Glad you liked and got the Cocktail reference - I imagine that didn't play for everyone but I still can see Tom doing the Hippy Hippy Shake and so Pam could too.

Lots more of Michael and Pam to come.

 

Reviewer: darjeelingandcoke Signed [Report This]
Date: October 17, 2021 10:15 am Title: Chapter 6 - Code Word: Hermione

"He must have looked up nautical terms back a few weeks ago when planning this shindig and learned the meaning of coxswain, hoping to find some way to work in a that’s what she said joke over the course of the night." Yep. That... that is what happened. Absolutely. This feels like a huge missed opportunity in canon too.

Pam's pride at using the baseball analogy is sweet... and also a very apt description of Michael. Just when you think he's out of trouble, he always finds a way to leap right back in. His not-quite-getting-it password suggestions were spot on, too.

For the record: I think Stanley noticed. He just doesn't care. "Yes, Pam is time traveling. I wish I could time travel too... forward. To me being in my head asleep and not on this damn boat."

There's some fun bar material too... I would actually be willing to be at a lot of money that both canon Creed and the actual Creed Bratton are pretty good shakes as a bartender.

I'd actually kinda love to see a conversation between the two Pams. I think they'd have a lot to talk about.

Eeeeeep. That's a heck of a cliffhanger to leave us on. And feels like a good way to get Pam to reset her expectations - on the boat to make sure he gets engaged, but incidentally and accidentally getting a second chance to observe the 27 seconds. Looking forward to seeing how that goes for her...

Author's Response:

As usual, I'm grinning widely as I read your review. 

You crack me up with the comment about Stanley - now you have nailed him.

I 100% believe that about Creed - but wonder who if anyone gets the Tom Cruise, Cocktail reference. 

Don't worry - while Pam won;t get to talk to herself she will get someone to talk to...

Again I really am sorry to make these chapters so short but each one short as they are are taking a lot of careful planning. 

But two things happen in next chapter I hope will please you - even if they don't make this story get written any faster.

Thanks as always for the review!!!! 

 

 

Reviewer: grc73 Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: October 16, 2021 04:41 pm Title: Chapter 6 - Code Word: Hermione

I love this chapter. Pam nearly bumping into herself, Michael being Michael, I got the end of the chapter wanting even more!

Author's Response:

 

MOre -You Want more?

Oh I got more for you.

Seriously though, thanks for both the early reviews and the current ones.

Cheers. 

Reviewer: warrior4 Signed [Report This]
Date: October 16, 2021 12:53 pm Title: Chapter 6 - Code Word: Hermione

Ok, need to pause reading this because of the opening lines. I have this image of Micheal saying coxswain like how it reads, "cox-swain," which also translates to his new nickname for Pam. This rather than the correct nautical pronuciation of, "cox'sun." Ok, back to reading.

Kind of an introspective chapter this time around. With maybe just a couple more puzzle pieces falling into place. Jim laughs with her while Roy laughs at her.

At this point in the night it's interesting that you still have her in denial about how Roy behaves when he's drunk. I wonder if that will change at all as the night goes on. I know past Pam was over the moon that Roy finally set a date that night. Will Future Pam feel the same way if she happens to overhear the coversation that led to that declaration? Likewise if Future Pam overhears how cool Jim was with Katy at the end? Lots of possiblities as to how this can go and I'm 100% here for it.

Author's Response:

However the latter pronounced, the first part has cox and since Michael is like a 8 year boy, I could only imagine his laughter at thinking of how he could put it in use on the night- but thanks to your pointing this out in the review I added a line to clarify how he also botches another word here. SO big thanks there -writing FF - It takes a village.

I few more little insights - yes. 

I know this story is moving along at a slow pace - but it is meant to be a slow burn. In fact, just because she is time travelling -she still is the person who took ten years to see how wrong Roy was for her - and then went back to him again. But perhaps seeing things again, from different angles and ...nope I won't say more now - that would take away the fun.

I'm glad you are here for it - and thanks for that and as always your thoughtful review.

 

 

 

Reviewer: boredhswf Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: October 15, 2021 02:14 pm Title: Chapter 2. Strange Trip

I’m so intrigued at how they are going to get out of this! It was such a well written chapter that the end snuck up on me.

Excellent use of Gaussian, by the way.

The entire sequence of them traveling was so well done and the imagery so vivid that I could see everything so clearly in my mind. Great chapter!

Author's Response:

You know how certain scenes come to you - and are written before everything else...and the everything else gets filled in around it? That was the time traveling sequence so I'm tickled you noticed it and could see it. 

Time travel does create a lot of limitations but half the fun here is getting them out of it (the other half is the hard part).

Thank you again for such high praise - really does mean so much. 

 

 

Reviewer: boredhswf Signed [Report This]
Date: October 15, 2021 01:53 pm Title: Part I: Chapter 1. New Carpet

I’m FINALLY getting caught up with everything and this story was one of the first. So sorry!

Also, I’m not sure how much advice I give beyond “hey that sounds great!” but I’ll take it!

So I think Michael is actually a pretty tricky character to write and you seem to do such a great job at nailing his voice. This whole opening scene is no exception and I can absolutely see him doing all these things.

I love that you mentioned Faulkner and using it to insult Roy is just an added bonus.

I also think it is quite clever how you are setting this up. It’s very believable, which I feel was not easy to accomplish. Can’t wait to keep reading!

Author's Response:

Never underestimate what a little support can do. Even just being able to bounce ideas off my friends and having them to be excited for me is a big boost.

Thanks for the vote of confidence with my Michael writing. There will be a lot of him in this story and getting him right is crucial. Don't know what it says that I can get in his head so well, but I'll take it.

Love to stick it to that ignorant buffoon.

Again so glad you are coming along on this trip - can't wait for you to read more too.  

 

Reviewer: warrior4 Signed [Report This]
Date: October 03, 2021 09:12 pm Title: Chapter 5 -Twins

For a short chapter there seems to be a lot here. Future Pam has already been spotted by Past People. And it's Roy, and he is his typical boorish self. Basically yelling at Pam to bring him booze the not even hiding the fact he's got a wandering eye. Great job in painting him as the oaf who Pam really should have grown past by now.

Again Future Pam's thoughts betray her. Almost feels like she's putting together a puzzle piece by piece but the box that has the final picture on it is facedown. However she's smart enough to know how the pieces go together even if the final image is still a mystery. In this case the piece is that while Roy wouldn't realize she's different due to her clothes, Jim would. Jim is the guy in her life who notices the small details that bring her to life. Looking forward to her adding a few more puzzle pieces as she reflects on things further.

Randall is on to things now. That should be fun. Nice way to keep that going.

Future Michael is kind of behaving himself. Granted he's also sick as a dog, though I wonder if that's due to bad pizza or the effects of time travel. I don't remember Harry or Hermione becoming sick to their stomachs due to Time Turner effects. Still it's an effective way to keep the two Michael's apart which could only be a good thing right now.

Also feels like Pam has a little hiding place. Mayhaps a perch to observe other instances from this night? As always looking forward to more.

Author's Response:

The more I write him, the more I hate him and then wonder why oh why did that relationship last as long as it did - (I'll tell you writing her thoughts on that may be harder than keeping up the continuity in a time travel story)

But I think you described it well as a puzzle and I'm excited to share the pieces with you chapter by chapter.

Original Michael had his bout of seasickness in the episode so lets just say this is a combo of the pizza, the time travel, the boat and plot device.

Thanks for the review as always. 

 

Reviewer: darjeelingandcoke Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: October 03, 2021 08:52 pm Title: Chapter 5 -Twins

You continue to do well plumbing the dark depths of Michael's brain. Because clearly his first reaction to the thought of twin Pams would be the sexual implications, and of course he would think someone might mistake Katy for Pam's twin, and of course this would all, somehow, in his head, turn into a justification for rebellion against Captain Jack. That's Michael to a T.

So we already have one revelation - Roy's wandering eye. Feels like there's a lot Pam could witness tonight that would be a difference-maker.

You did well using the multiple Pams to set up the contrast between Pam and Roy with [ast!Pam's thought about not wanting to engage in their in-jokes in front of Roy and Katy and between Roy and Jim with present!Pam's presumption that obviously Jim was more likely to notice her clothing change than her actual fiancee.

I like that Pam is genre aware here... she's coming to this with a basic understanding of the risks of time travel and it shows, and she's also aware that both in general and in dealing with Michael the chances that this very important night for her will be knocked off course are high. I share her worry... you know, kind of.

I am increasingly desperate to know what's going on with Randall. Although given that he clearly knows something about time travel, maybe however that happened also explains how they were able to get the shot of Dwight...

Author's Response:

Thanks - Michael seems to come natural to me (a little scary, right) but maybe it's because I raised boys who are still not quite adults...or maybe it's that with him as long as its kind of ridiculous (or sex-related or inappropriate) it can work.

Remember the mention of the blue sweater (a little cheat for a loyal reader).

Yes, remember Pam does believe in ghosts and while up until now not time travel, she does have an interest in things slightly mystical (and love her some Harry Potter) so she would be somewhat versed in the rules.

More Randall is coming but really he is a step to - nahhh, I can't - sorry you're going to have to wait - you'll thank me. I hope it will be worth it. 

 

Reviewer: tinydundie Signed [Report This]
Date: October 03, 2021 08:19 pm Title: Chapter 5 -Twins

I love the idea that Pam thinks Michael is playing hide and seek, lol.

Oh my god if Future Pam catches Roy cheating on her I will scream (in a good way). Can't wait to see what's next...

Author's Response: I think that's the one line he won't cross (or will he?). I really do enjoy the Pam/Michael relationship - glad you do too.

Reviewer: warrior4 Signed [Report This]
Date: September 28, 2021 08:04 pm Title: Chapter 4 - New Coats and Fancy Cars

So it feels a bit like a filler chapter, but there'e nothing wrong with that. There's a lot of great stuff in here. From Pam feeling like she has to switch between mother to embarrassed daughter due to Micheal's antics. You wrote that relationship really well. Especially with Micheal pulling out a character like that.

Seems like Pam is doing more thinking about the night of the Booze Cruise. Hindsight may be 20/20 but Future Pam here only has two weeks of hindsight to reflect on as well as her recent trip with Roy which appears to have overshadowed some of the other things going on that night. But she is also becoming more aware of everything that happened. Her relief that Jim and Katy were done. How she was feeling while up on deck with Jim. So she may not have 20/20 hindsight just yet, but it's getting clearer.

Hoo boy, she's heading back to the boat with Future Micheal? This seems like it's going to be a challenge for sure. However we also have Randall who appears to know there's a Future Pam on the prowl. Maybe she'll have an ally. She also has two more weeks to mull things over before she catches up with her own timeline. Lots of possibilities for sure. Nice job.

Author's Response:

A bit of filler - a bit of set up and explanation, a bit of foreshadowing. A little appetizer before we get to the real meal.

As usual you have good insights - and I think you'll enjoy where this is going but there will still be some surprises along the way.

 

Thanks as always for a great review.

 

Reviewer: darjeelingandcoke Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: September 28, 2021 11:42 am Title: Chapter 4 - New Coats and Fancy Cars

You always do such a good job with the mother-son dynamic between Pam and Michael, and you put it to really great comic use here. As if time travel wasn't challenge enough for her. He really just finds so many different ways to be irritating in this chapter... appreciate you pulling out the Elvis accent! Seriously, though... he really is about the last choice you'd make for a partner in time travel.

Michael thinking that time travelling means he gets two paychecks this week is perfect Michael logic, and his attempt to joke with the cashier is perfect Michael cringe - harmless enough that you feel okay laughing about it.

Pam being relieved at knowing that this was the end of Jim and Katy... and that being part of why this turned out to be a good night for her... is a good choice. And I *really* liked this description of Pam's reactions to Jim's near-confession... this feels very much in line with a Pam in total denial of what she's feeling, someone whose body is sending messages that her mind is refusing to translate into conscious thought.

Looking forward to seeing where the rest of the evening takes our travelers!

Author's Response:

Aww thanks - probably comes from experience (the mother/son part, not the dealing with Michael).

I can always count on you to appreciate my humorous stuff (and find it funny enough) - I do think this situation present plenty of moments for Michael to be Michael so taking advantage of that.  

Yes, denial and inner conflict big players here. Let's see what 2 weeks of reflection will do.

I'm so thankful for your excitement about this story and all your reviews and comments. 

 

Reviewer: tinydundie Signed [Report This]
Date: September 28, 2021 07:04 am Title: Chapter 4 - New Coats and Fancy Cars

*She only hoped Elvis would not stick around for the rest of the afternoon as he often did once he made his debut. *

This sentence cracked me up.

Love the way you wrote the booze cruise moment. I still think it's such an interesting choice for you to place Pam in the headspace where she is probably the happiest with Roy we ever see her. Love her interactions with Michael as always.

Author's Response:

Glad you appreciated the Elvis sighting- Like I said, I expect Elvis was a common visitor to DM.

Yup - it will make for an interesting experience when revisiting where she'd been before.

Thanks for coming along and sharing your thoughts. What I love about being here in MTT - the input and appreciation we show each other.

Reviewer: grc73 Signed [Report This]
Date: September 28, 2021 06:59 am Title: Chapter 4 - New Coats and Fancy Cars

I see what you did there! Uh-huh-huh. A lovely written chapter setting us up for what's to come, and a reminder of Pam's recent journey.

Author's Response:

Wink wink..

thanks for the sweet review. 

Reviewer: Basscop69 Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: September 21, 2021 03:46 pm Title: Chapter 3. The Discovery

I really appreciate the look into Pam’s slightly happier vacation with Roy here - as much as I’m biased to think Roy is just awful all the time, it makes much more sense that she must have had at least some good moments with him that weren’t captured on camera, and it’s very in keeping with the way she is in that episode afterwards. Although the line about his attention ‘only’ being split between her an the skiing is also so sad (and telling). And oooh we’ve come back to a v interesting time - can’t wait to see how this plays out! I love the little note with the coat too. And Pam and Michael on this escapade together continues to be a joy - I particularly love Pam’s parental softly whispered bark, this is such an excellent description of the way she is with Michael. And Randall at the end!!! The plot thickens…

Author's Response:

So yes, had to be some better time with Roy - she did seem happy some of the time with him even if fleeting and even if he was awful a lot.

Pam and Michael - I have a soft spot for them together although their relationship has not yet grown to the sweetness I see in later seasons, - who knows maybe after this experience it will - or will she just want to kill him after this...we'll have to see.

Thanks as always for being a regular reader and reviewer - I do appreciate it and enjoy sharing this with you.

 

Reviewer: grc73 Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: September 17, 2021 10:55 am Title: Chapter 3. The Discovery

I think they really did have a good time. Pam seemed quite happy after she came back from that trip if I remember the episode after correctly. I love how this chapter really starts to open the story up. And so the realisation of the time travel paradox begins - you can't interfere in the past! Mwhahahaha!

Author's Response:

Sinister laugh noted.

The paradox begins indeed as does my challenge in writing double timelines - thanks for your help in making sure I don't mess anything up and the reviews. 

Reviewer: grc73 Signed [Report This]
Date: September 17, 2021 10:53 am Title: Chapter 2. Strange Trip

Behind with my reviews. In we go... you've totally nailed the characterisations, especially Michael, in this one.

Author's Response: Behind on my responses so we're even....thank you - Michael is fun to write.

Reviewer: warrior4 Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: September 17, 2021 08:09 am Title: Chapter 3. The Discovery

I don't disagree that Pam and Roy enjoyed that trip. It was right after they set the date and Pam did look genuinly happy that night on the booze cruise. Makes sense that some of those feelings would still carry over. I always kind of saw it as the last gasp of the Pam and Roy relationship. It kept life support going until Casino Night when everything finally came to a head and the realities really settled in. So that's my take on that.

Otherwise interesting choice to send them back to this time. I can see a lot of possibilites for how things could happen. Will future Pam and Micheal get aboard the boat? If so what will future Pam overhear/see that could give her pause? Will future Pam go insance babysitting a Micheal who wants to re-live the time and "fix" things?

It's also telling to me how much introspection Pam is doing. Despite everything going on it feels like she's is unintentionally comparing her two main relationships. Roy is only 100% with her when there's nothing else to distract him. Jim is 100% with her despite distractions. Nice juxtaposition. I wonder if Pam will be able to figure that out any time soon?

I also liked how you set past Jim and Pam apart there at the end. The italics were a good way to clue us in there. However Randall seems to know what's up too. Nice little twist. Looking forwared to seeing how that plays out as well.

Author's Response:

Last gasp indeed - but yes, she seemed happy enough both on Booze Cruise and even when she returned from trip.

Good questions indeed - time will tell (pun intended)

Look out for the italics in chapters to come - one of the challenges in writing 2 versions of the same timeline but good to see you picked up on the shift.

Thanks for reviewing as always - very helpful to see what you see (and get verification my story is coming across as intended). And of course I just adore reviews.

 

 

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