Reviews For Straight Lines

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Name: Chicgeek (Anonymous) · Date: January 16, 2007 09:07 pm · Chapter: The Half-Truth
Oooo, what a revealing last line! I love it, keep going with this series!


Name: kaystar (Signed) · Date: January 16, 2007 05:59 pm · Chapter: The Gift
Another awesome chapter, and another beautiful line - "Not for the reason he’d given her, but because taking it from her meant taking back everything about her that he’d already tried to let go." 


Name: kaystar (Signed) · Date: January 16, 2007 05:52 pm · Chapter: The Silence

This chapter was so bittersweet. I loved these 2 lines:

"...he wonders if he’s said too much, even though he never says a word"

 "It takes a week before she stops getting her hopes up every time the phone rings."



Name: Paper Jam (Signed) · Date: January 16, 2007 04:00 pm · Chapter: The Half-Truth
These are all great. I really like how you've found all these little moments that mirror each other.


Name: Chicgeek (Anonymous) · Date: January 06, 2007 09:15 am · Chapter: The Persuasion
I really like the first one. It was perfectly in character. I loved this line: He tells her she should take it. It's not wrong to want something more. Guh. Heartwrencher.


Name: moofoot (Signed) · Date: January 05, 2007 11:24 pm · Chapter: The Persuasion

Ah. I'm starting to see that their relationship is more of a circle than a line, especially sniffing nearly twice as much as I did after watching Back from Vacation than after Boys and Girls. I think it's very intentional; our writers are genius for a reason. Anyway hopefully that means that when they go full circle they get back to that kiss, except move forwards from there before falling back into routine. 

I adored this line:
But maybe she wants to be bigger than that. Better than that. Not only for him, but for herself, too.
Because how true is that? I'm almost completely convinced that if Jim and Pam ever become JimandPam, it's Pam that has to do make the first step, and this sentence shows that she probably thinks so, too. Love that.
And the way you described how she's standing and fidgeting and the way she's wrapped her arm around her stomach so tightly [the actors are just beyond amazing, goodness] and the way you described what their argument is - not an argument. Bah. 

And I seriously adore the slight repetition in detail; how he notices she's been crying and how she hopes he doesn't notice she's been crying - it's in two different situations, but something about those lines remind me that so much of the first years of their friendship [before Casino Night, that is] is about pretending and acting and hiding. Thanks, because I feel sniffy at the end of this, too. :P 



Name: lisahoo (Signed) · Date: January 05, 2007 02:47 pm · Chapter: The Persuasion
Wow -- the parallels are amazing -- really love the last lines about him noticing that she'd been crying.


Name: Semby (Signed) · Date: January 05, 2007 02:32 pm · Chapter: The Persuasion
Ooh, these are all such interesting parallels, and you show that so well. It'll be interesting to see more of these, if more little comparable moments come out throughout the season, which I'm sure they will.


Name: nomadshan (Signed) · Date: January 05, 2007 02:09 pm · Chapter: The Persuasion

Wow, you're finding really good parallels in these.

But maybe she wants to be bigger than that. Better than that. Not only for him, but for herself, too.

I'm convinced that Pam stepping back, being the bigger person, and becoming even more herself, is what will bring them together. You've captured the first hint of that here.

Loving these, 69 cups!



Name: ImDissertating (Anonymous) · Date: January 03, 2007 10:07 pm · Chapter: The Gift
One thing I love about this show is the paralleling of scenes, dialogue and situations. Therefore, I *love* that you've taken to paralleling these in your fic.  So great....


Name: Nestani (Anonymous) · Date: January 03, 2007 04:25 pm · Chapter: The Kiss
Drabbles are among my favorites, because saying less is so much harder than saying more. Beautifully done.


Name: chicgeek (Anonymous) · Date: January 03, 2007 12:35 pm · Chapter: The Gift

Wow, everything was dead on. How do yo do that? The last two lines really rung true to me. It's getting harder and harder to tell which way the two of them are going. Is a ressurected friendship the ending of things or the bgining, or merely stalling? Gah!

You have such a poetic way of writing though, can't wait for more!



Name: ElizabethLynn (Signed) · Date: January 03, 2007 10:36 am · Chapter: The Gift
Nice!  I like the way you've paralleled (is that a word?) these two.


Name: lisahoo (Signed) · Date: January 03, 2007 08:44 am · Chapter: The Gift
The parallels in these scenes are freaking brilliant, 69cups! And I love how this one ends an a slighty hopeful note.  Let's hope Karen is over by the end of sweeps!!!


Name: mamzalini (Signed) · Date: January 03, 2007 07:57 am · Chapter: The Gift
love it!! great parallels.


Name: nomadshan (Signed) · Date: January 03, 2007 07:20 am · Chapter: The Gift

I really like how you've found similar events across seasons - it gives canon even more of an arc - and more depth (for a TV comedy that already has more depth than any other comedy on now).

Brava, 69 cups of noodles!



Name: nomadshan (Signed) · Date: January 03, 2007 07:15 am · Chapter: The Silence

Talking again means not saying what he wants to say.

Wow. I hope I'm the 37th person to quote that line, because it's excellent.



Name: nomadshan (Signed) · Date: January 03, 2007 06:58 am · Chapter: The Date
Some really nice parallels in these! Nice way to show that, as close as they were before, and as intimate the confession, they feel a bit like strangers now.


Name: nomadshan (Signed) · Date: January 03, 2007 06:54 am · Chapter: The Kiss

Nice - just enough to intrigue us!

Suggestion: consider formatting why, how, Pam, and kiss in italics to parallel your second paragraph stylistically.



Author's Response: Thanks for the suggestion...I will do that!


Name: moofoot (Signed) · Date: January 03, 2007 05:25 am · Chapter: The Silence

Ohhhhhh. *breathes* How absofreakinglutely gorgeous. I know writing drabbles is sometimes beyond hard because there is so much that you can say and it always, always, always seems like there's a billion things that you have to cut out, in the end. But this all comes together in this flowy, almost poetic manner, and it's just - lovely.
It’s not coincidence that all of her sketches now consist of straight lines.
has got to be one of the most brilliant almost-introductory lines I have ever read in fanfiction.

Especially the way you bring out the parallels, the straight lines; from when they kissed, first of all, that meeting point, and then the date, and breaking silence, and the gift: I find it strange how it seems like all of this is on a *line*, and all the sides of *Jim*'s story moves backwards from the meeting point [the kiss] and all of Pam's move forwards, from the meeting point. As they diverge it seems they become more of the same. Wow. I know I'm not getting the message across the way I want it to but I figured it was worth trying. ;)

And I adored the way you brought out the similarities in their ways and the events that've happened without adding anything on except a style of writing that makes all the parallels completely tangible; instead of adding on something that the writers never gave us. I loved that.

I'm sorry, is it too obvious that I'm going to take literature as a major? I'm sure this review is probably almost as long as your story. oO

Steadily growing into one of my favourite authors, you are. :D Awesome talent.



Author's Response:

Ok, before I thank you for writing me the most awesome review ever, I just wanted to tell you that "Two" was one of the most beautiful, brilliant things I've ever read.  I loved the way it was pieced together and every part is so different but yet it's like a perfect timeline, a progression of things, and it just amazingly flows.  I know this sounds stupid but it reminded me of a patchwork quilt.

Anyway, back to you really making my day...I wasn't sure how this one came out because I tend to be way too descriptive and use lots and lots of words.  My goal for myself was to be as succinct as possible yet still get the feeling across.  I'm just really glad you liked this and thanks for taking the time to review it.

 



Name: kells8995 (Signed) · Date: January 03, 2007 05:08 am · Chapter: The Kiss
these are beautiful.  It's amazing how you can capture their relationship and feelings in just a few short sentences. 

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing!


Name: Colette (Signed) · Date: January 03, 2007 05:07 am · Chapter: The Gift
Exactly, rejecting Pam's gift wasn't about his promotion at all. And I like the way you've suggested the ambiguity in whether accepting it is a step forward or back...he really is in limbo now. This gets that ambivalence across so succinctly.

Author's Response: Yes, and it's so obvious that it wasn't about his promotion.  I think we all saw right through that.  When are these two going to stop dancing around each other?


Name: Colette (Signed) · Date: January 03, 2007 05:02 am · Chapter: The Silence

...he wonders if he's said too much, even though he never says a word.

Another line that captures one of my favorite moments on the show (which also summed up so much about their relationship.) And, yeah, it was precisely like  suddenly they are who they are again during that phone call in Initiation. Beautifully put.



Author's Response: I've always loved that moment too, and the way Pam looks at him, it's like she just knows.  And the whenever I watch the Initiation, I always have to stop it when Ryan comes in because I can't stand the way that phone call ends!


Name: Colette (Signed) · Date: January 03, 2007 04:57 am · Chapter: The Date
Reading this, I can just see the look on Jim's face during The Convention, when hears Michael mention Pam's date on the phone...like his third rejection (because if she's already dating, and still not contacting him...) This really captures that painful moment.

Author's Response: Funny, I never thought about it that way...so true, though.  I always hate Michael for saying that to her on the phone. You'd think of all people, he'd know...


Name: Colette (Signed) · Date: January 03, 2007 04:53 am · Chapter: The Kiss

His eyes had been full of please, then okay, then goodbye.

What a poignant line...really distills his whole state of mind at that moment. So sad. Lovely. 



Author's Response: Thank you.  I love Jim's eyes and his voice in that scene of GWH.  So much emotion.


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