So I was listening to the NPR radio show, This American Life, and they did an episode where they "spoof" a poem by William Carlos Williams. I couldn't get the idea of doing one myself for The Office out of my head, and this is what I came up with.
As a warning, I've never written fanfic or poetry so I apologize for posing as a writer tonight. I promise it is not likely to happen again. But I do hope someone enjoys this and that it might inspire a real writer or another poser to try it herself, or himself as the case may be.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Dwight
This is just to say
I put
the white
fluffy one
in the freezer
I know
Monkey
you loved
her best
Forgive me
I am a man
and a farmer
and I did it because I love you
Pam
This is just to say
I drew a picture
of you as a pervert
removed your glasses
disguised you with a mustache
I was impressed
with the likeness
I think I captured your creepiness
perfectly
Forgive me
you were being an ass
I was bored
and I knew he would appreciate it
Jim
This is just to say
I told you I couldn’t do coffee
that I was busy
still moving
and unpacking
it was a lie
you said ‘I can’t’ twice
I was protecting my heart
and breaking two others
Forgive me
but I wanted you to feel some pain
just a small portion
of what I felt that night
Angela
This is just to say
I know I said green is whorish
really I meant red
but actually
I meant Orange
perhaps
if you could spell “launch”
I could trust you
to do simple tasks
Forgive me
I thought you could work spell check
now I know you can’t
I’ll do it myself next time
Michael
This is just to say
I burned the candles that you left
and your bowflex
put my Dundies
on the coffee table
I’ve stopped
washing my hands
after going number one
and two
Forgive me
come back
I like your boobs
a lot
Ryan
This is just to say
I know
I said I liked you
really I meant
can’t stand
I think
it’s your voice
more likely
your personality
Forgive me
for dumping you
it’s not me
it’s you
Here is the original:
This Is Just To Say by William Carlos Williams
I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox
and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast
Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold