Disclaimer: I don't own The Office or any of its characters. I just like to walk a mile in Oscar's shoes and try on Phyllis's pants every now and then.
Another bout of insomnia forces me to write fluff.
"Halpert, you asleep?"
"You talking to me, Halpert?"
"Who else?"
"You can't call me that. You're Halpert. If you call me Halpert too, it'll just be confusing."
"Oh. Of course. So sorry. What nicknames am I allowed?"
"Well...Pam, for everyday use. Beesly, when you're teasing me."
"Me? Tease you? Never!"
"Suck it."
"Ouch. Continue, Beesly."
"And...Goddess Divine."
"Catchy."
"But only on really special occasions."
"Well, I think you've covered just about every contingency. Except, what'll I call you when I'm upset over something? Maybe Mrs. Halpert?"
"No way. Uh-uh. You can only call me Mrs. Halpert when you're...completely and perfectly and blissfully happy."
"Okay, if that's what you want. But I hope you like that name. You'll be hearing it an awful lot, Mrs. Halpert."
If you haven't seen the movie, you really should.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/handle-buy-box/ref=dp_start-buy-box-form_1/102-4161862-4043365