New Year’s Eve:

Pam Beesly sat on the bed in her bathrobe, her hair wrapped in a towel. She stared at the dress hanging from the front of her closet. Why did I buy this dress? Yesterday, she went to the mall to catch some of the after-Christmas sales. She saw the dress in the first store she went in, but refused to buy it. The bright blue dress haunted her for the rest of her shopping trip. She had to buy it and now it hung there, mocking her.

The dress was perfect. It perfectly accentuated her slim frame. It was the shade of blue that brought out her eyes and hair perfectly. The perfect dress.

Pam sighed. She didn’t want to go to this wedding tonight. It was New Year’s Eve and everyone would be at the reception with their respective partners while she was alone. She continued to stare at the blue dress.

Finally, she stood up and walked through the living room on the way to the kitchen. Her apartment looked so empty without Roy’s belongings.
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Pam had gotten married in June, separated in September and divorced by November. She felt bad for those celebrities whose short-lived marriages filled the gossip magazines. With the gossip surrounding her in Scranton, she could commiserate.

It was Roy’s idea. He left her.

One evening after work, they were eating dinner. Roy put down his fork and turned to her, “Pammy?”

“Hmm,” she replied as she absentmindedly speared a carrot on her fork.

“This isn’t working out.”

“What’s not working out? Dinner? I thought that you loved meatloaf.”

“We’re not working out. You and me. Marriage.” Pam looked up at Roy as if she saw him for the first time. Roy continued, “I just don’t think I’m the marrying type after all. And I know you’re miserable. I’m not blind, I’ve noticed.”

“I’m not miserable,” she mumbled, looking down at her plate.

“You’ve been weird and moody since May. At first, I thought it was wedding nerves, but you didn’t change after we got married. I can‘t remember the last time we made love. All we do is fight.” It was true. They had always argued, but from their wedding day onward, all they did was fight. Every day. About everything.

The first fight of their marriage occurred as they walked out of the church as husband and wife. Roy had gotten drunk with his buddies the night before and showed up to the wedding hung over. She couldn’t remember a single detail of the ceremony because she was so mad. They argued and didn’t speak to each other for two days. Giving her husband the silent treatment was not how Pam always imagined her honeymoon.

Pam’s bottom lip trembled as Roy continued, “I’m not happy either. I don’t like being tied down. Being married is tying me down. I can’t breathe.”

Pam tearfully suggested that they attend marriage counseling and try to work out their problems.

Roy said, “Pam, we’ve had years to work out our problems. I’m tired of this. Let’s just end it before it gets any worse.”

Pam did not try to argue with him. She was too tired to fight any more.

Roy moved out the next weekend. Before he left, he kissed her on the cheek. “I’ll always love you, Pammy.”

Word spread pretty quickly through the office when Roy quit the warehouse and took a job in the next county. Luckily, most people left her alone. Most people, of course, excluded Michael Scott.

“Wow Pam, getting divorced after only being married for a summer. You and Roy are like the Renee Zewellger and Kenny Chesney of Scranton, P.A.” She slammed Michael’s office door shut and cried in the stairwell.

By Thanksgiving, everything was sorted out.

For Christmas, she had gone to her parents’ house. On Christmas morning, she woke up alone in her childhood bedroom. Not exactly how she imagined her first Christmas after getting married.
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Pam walked into her kitchen and opened the cabinet. She was looking for a casserole dish she had borrowed from her mom. Pulling out the dish, she found a small mint green teapot. Months ago, she had put the teapot in the cabinet because she cried every time she looked at. She placed it on the counter and stood back, getting a better look at it.
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Last May, Jim declared his love for Pam and then kissed her. She was shocked. No, she was more confused than shocked. She loved him too, probably always had, but she suppressed her feelings for him. She was getting married. How could she possibly have feelings for another man?

That night as Jim kissed in front of his desk, Pam did the only thing that she knew to do. She pushed him away, literally and figuratively. The look of pain on his face still haunted her at night.

As Angela drove her home, Pam tried to figure out what to do. For once, Angela did not say anything as Pam cried. She just looked at her with compassionate eyes.

She didn’t tell Roy what happened. She fell asleep on the couch in her dress and shoes. The next morning, he did not ask her why she slept on the couch. He just assumed she had too many drinks at casino night.

She called in sick to work. By noon, she received half a dozen calls from people at work, including Michael. Every caller told her the same thing: Jim was transferring to the Stamford branch. He didn’t call her though. She waited by the answering machine all day.

Jim’s last two weeks were hell for her. They did not speak, not even a “hello” or “goodbye.” In fact, he left his desk and worked in the back, next to Kelly’s desk. Pam received sympathetic looks from everyone, but as far as she could tell, no one knew what had happened on casino night.

At Jim’s farewell party in the conference room, they avoided each other like the plague. It was too much for Pam and she escaped to the break room. She leaned against the counter and cried, hugging herself. Jim found her. He took her into his arms and let her cry. After a few moments, he pulled away from her and cupped her face with his hands, tracing her tears with his fingers. She lifted her face and he kissed her lightly. Her mouth responded to his.

“Oh! I’m so sorry!” Jim and Pam jumped apart. Ryan had opened the door of the break room and quickly shut it again.

When Pam returned to the conference room, Michael gave a stirring and emotional farewell speech about how much he meant to Jim. Stanley’s head was nodding. Kevin was picking out red M&Ms from a bowl. Meredith was mysteriously pouring a small bottle into her punch. Toby looked at his watch while Angela picked at a hangnail. Oscar was talking on his cell phone. Only Dwight found the speech stirring.

When the party ended, Pam cleaned up the conference room while Jim packed up his desk. They silently walked to the elevator. The elevator door opened but she pushed the button so that it would close, leaving them standing there.

Pam turned to him, tears streaming down her face, “I’m sorry. I…I…I don’t know…what… I’m going to do…without you…here.”

Jim placed his box on the floor and hugged her tightly but did not try to kiss her again. It was as if he wanted to memorize the moment. Then he released her and they stepped into the elevator without saying anything. When the door opened, Roy was standing there, waiting for Pam.

“Goodbye, Jim.” Her voice weak from her tears.

“Goodbye, Pam.” His voice barely audible.

“Halpert, have fun in Australia and good luck in Stamford.” Roy patted Jim on the back and Jim nodded at him before getting in his car. That was the last time she ever saw Jim.

Roy put his arm around Pam, “Let’s go home, babe.”
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Pam picked up the teapot one more time before placing it back in the cabinet. She grabbed a bowl and poured cereal in it. She collapsed on the couch and turned on the television. A marathon of The Office was playing on BBC America. She loved this show but never watched when Roy had been around. He thought British humor was gay.

Pam sighed as she ate her cereal. She did not really want to go to Phyllis’ wedding. Phyllis had invited all of the office employees and she was expected to be there.
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On the last day at Dunder-Mifflin before the holidays, the women of the office, including Stanley’s wife and Kevin’s fiancée held a lingerie party for Phyllis. Actually, everyone but Angela brought lingerie. Angela’s gift was a set of dish towels and potholders.

Before the party, Pam sat at her desk and stared at Jim’s empty desk. For financial reasons, his position had not been refilled. So his desk sat there, empty. Though every day, Dwight put more and more of his belongings on the desk.

“Pam?” Phyllis gently patted Pam on the shoulder. She shook out of her reverie. “You’re still coming to my wedding, aren’t you?” Phyllis asked timidly.

“Of course.” Phyllis had asked Pam the same question two or three times a week for the past four weeks.

“Good. It means so much to me that you’re going be there,” Phyllis smiled genuinely. Pam knew that they were friends but outside of the office walls, they didn’t really have much of a relationship. Still, it pleased Pam to know that her presence meant so much to Phyllis.
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It was the end of the “Christmas Special” of The Office. This was Pam’s favorite episode. Tears of joy streamed down her face when Dawn and Tim got together at the end. They were meant for each other. Sighing, Pam looked at her watch. Oh no! She had spent all afternoon watching television and had less than an hour to get ready for the wedding.
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Pam stood in the narthex of the church, where she took off her coat and draped it across her arm.

“Bride or groom?”

“Bride,” she replied to the young man who stood at the door. She remembered Phyllis saying that both of Bob Vance’s sons were in the wedding party. As she walked down the aisle, she looked ahead at the beautiful decorations in the sanctuary. Red and white flowers filled the room. The display could have looked cheesy if done the wrong way, but this was breathtaking.

“Here we go,” Bob’s son said as he released Pam’s arm so she could take her seat. She turned to sit down and gasped.

Jim Halpert was sitting in the pew and he was sitting next to a very pretty blonde.

Jim’s eyes grew wide, “Pam!”

“Jim!” She just stared at him.

“Well, don’t just stand there. Sit down.” He laughed uncomfortably and moved over so that she would have room to sit. He looked her up and down. He shook his head and asked how she was doing.

“Fine. Snowing outside.” Pam inwardly groaned. She sounded so stupid and her face was bright red. She hoped that he thought her cheeks were flushed from the cold weather.

“Yeah, I noticed.” Jim turned away from her as he felt a pat on his shoulder. Oscar and Gil sat behind them.

“Jim, how are you doing?” Oscar shook his hand and asked, “How is Stamford?”

“Good, good. I actually enjoy my job. Crazy, I know! By the way, this is Julie. Julie, this is Oscar and Gil.”

Just then, the processional music started and Jim turned back in his seat. Pam caught him glancing at her from the corner of her eye. She wondered who Julie was. She was very pretty, but young. She looked too young for Jim. And Jim looked handsome in his navy blue suit. Had he lost weight? He looked so good. Pam tried to push those thoughts out of her head as the wedding party proceeded to the front of the sanctuary.

The wedding ceremony was beautiful. Phyllis and Bob looked so happy. Pam thought with regret of her own wedding and how unhappy she had been during it. She hoped Phyllis and Bob had an entirely different marriage.

After the ceremony, everyone stood outside of the church, arranging rides for the reception. Pam stood with her fellow co-workers. The snow was falling softly on the ground. Everyone turned with delight when Jim and his date joined them in the parking lot.

“Jim Bob! Good to see you,” Michael grabbed Jim in an uncomfortable hug. Though he had not said anything to her since she first sat down in the sanctuary, Jim shot Pam a look of horror. Pam hid a laugh in her gloved hand.

After pleasantries were made, Jim turned his attention to Pam. “Going to the reception?” She nodded. “Great, we’ll see you there.” He and Julie walked over to his car, where he held open the door for Julie. Pam stabbed at a pile of snow with her high heel.

The reception was held in the ballroom of a local hotel. Just like in the sanctuary, the ballroom was decorated in Christmas colors. The room looked like a winter wonderland. The artist in Pam delighted in seeing beauty.

Pam found her name card on a table. It turned out that the Dunder-Mifflinites were sitting at two round tables near the front of the ballroom. She noticed that Jim’s card lay next to hers. She was tempted to switch it so he had to sit with Dwight and Angela at the next table. But that would be mean, she laughed an evil laugh to herself.

Soon, the table was full. Jim and Julie were on Pam’s right. On her left sat Oscar, Gil, Toby, Meredith, Ryan, and Kelly. Stanley with his wife Terri, Kevin with his fiancée Stacy, Dwight, Angela, Creed, and Michael sat at the next table. Everyone was chit-chatting but Jim didn’t speak to Pam directly. He seemed to only acknowledge her when he addressed the whole table.

“Pam, your dress is gorgeous,” Julie leaned over Jim.

Pam blushed, “Thanks.” Jim was looking at her with eyes that she had not seen in a long time. He gave her a wide grin and said, “Yeah Pam, you look great.” The moment passed as he turned to ask Toby a question.

Dinner was served. As they ate, Oscar leaned toward Pam and asked about her art courses.

Her face lit up and she noticed that Jim had abruptly stopped talking to listen to her.

She answered, “I love my classes. It has been a while since I really focused on my art, so it’s great to brush up on my techniques. Then, in January, I’ll start my graphic design internship. I spoke to Jan Levinson about it before Christmas.”

Oscar smiled at Pam, “That’s so great.”

She felt a hand on her arm. It was Jim. “Nice, Beesly. I’m so proud of you.” He genuinely looked proud.

She excused herself to go to the restroom. Kelly followed her and chatted annoyingly away. “Wasn’t that a beautiful wedding, Pam? It was so pretty and I loved Phyllis’ dress. I hope I get married soon because I want to start having babies. Isn’t Jim’s date pretty? She’s so pretty. I love her dress. Doesn’t Ryan look so hot tonight? I think he looks so hot.” Kelly stopped and grabbed Pam’s arm. “Does being at a wedding make you sad? If I were you, I would feel so depressed.”

Pam shook her head to say no and Kelly let go of her arm.

She sat in the sitting room next to the ladies’ restroom and opened her purse. Her hand was shaking as she ran it through her wavy brown hair. The thought that Jim would come to the wedding had never occurred to her before. She especially did not imagine that he would bring a pretty girl. She blinked back tears. When she composed herself, she stood up and smoothed out the skirt of her blue dress.

When Pam got back to her seat, Jim was sitting by himself, a sad expression on his face. She did not see Julie anywhere.

“Hey.” She touched his arm as she stood next to the table. Jim broke out his reverie and stood up to pull the chair out for her.

“Hey,” he said softly. He looked adorably boyish. He had removed his jacket, which was sitting on the back of his chair. He had unbuttoned the top button of his shirt and his tie was getting loose. He ran a hand through his hair.

“Where is everyone?” she asked with a small smile.

“The bar,” he replied as he returned her smile.

“That was such a beautiful wedding. Phyllis and Bob looked so happy.”

Jim looked over at the happy couple, who were giggling to themselves. “It was.”

Pam bit her lip and said, “I am really surprised to see you here.”

Jim ran a hand through his hair again and laughed uncomfortably, “Um, yeah, I’m surprised to be here myself. But Phyllis emailed me, like, twice a week for the past month, asking me to come. She kept telling me how important it was for me to be at her wedding.”

“Really?” Pam hid a smile.

“Yeah, I mean, I was in Scranton anyway to visit my family for the holidays so there wasn’t really a good excuse for me not to come.”

Pam looked over at the bar and saw Julie flirting with one of Bob’s sons. She wondered if Jim saw Julie. If he did, he didn’t seem to care. Pam turned in her seat so that her entire body was facing Jim. “Julie is really pretty.”

Jim was very aware of how close Pam’s knee was to his leg but he did not move. “Yeah, I guess. She’s still an annoying little kid to me.” Pam looked at him oddly. Jim smiled, “She’s my little cousin. She’s home from college for Christmas break. When I told her I was coming to a wedding, she tagged along. Probably hoping to she’d meet a cute groomsman to hook up with.”

Pam breathed a sigh of relief, “It looks like she has.”

Jim noticed Pam’s face had become cheerier and followed her gaze over to the bar, “Apparently!” He was about to say something else when the rest of their companions returned to the table. Pam turned in her seat back to the table.

After dinner, Phyllis and Bob shared their first dance as husband and wife. The music was provided by a DJ. Kevin hadn’t offered for his band “Scrantonicity” to play. His band mates decided against playing any more weddings after the last one they played ended in divorce.

As Pam watched them, she noticed Jim’s arm was casually draped behind her chair. After the first dance had finished, the DJ opened up the dance floor to the entire room by playing the Bee Gees’ “You Should Be Dancing.” Everyone at her table, including Jim, took a spot on the floor. Pam remained in her seat until Kelly grabbed her hand and dragged onto the floor.

Pam loved to dance but was always embarrassed to do it in public. She had been so angry with Roy at her wedding that she had refused to dance with him, even during their first dance. But she took a large gulp of her wine and began dancing with her coworkers. Jim met her eyes and danced his way over to her. He took her hand and led her to the center of the floor. Jim wasn’t the best dancer, but he didn’t care. He just wanted to have fun. With the atmosphere of the room surrounding her and Jim’s infectious laugh in her ear, Pam let herself go and danced.

She stayed on the dance floor with her friends for the next few fast songs. The Dunder-Mifflin employees gathered in a dance circle, with one person dancing in the middle. Pam thought she was going to die laughing as Michael slithered across the floor to Madonna’s “Holiday.”

When it was Pam’s turn in the circle, she got nervous and dragged Jim in the circle with her. He casually put his hand on her hip as she threw an arm around his neck. They danced until it was Meredith’s turn in the circle.

The mood in the ballroom changed when a slow song began to play. Eric Clapton’s “Wonderful Tonight” was filling the room as she turned to walk off the floor. Jim caught her hand again.

“Come on, dance with me,” Jim whispered as he took her into his arms. Pam felt awkward at first but he held her close and she gave in. She rested her head against his chest and he leaned his head gently against hers. The hand on her back was warm and comfortable. She could feel his heart pounding, or was it hers?

“You look so beautiful tonight,” he murmured into her hair. She felt her face turn warm. She curled her fingers tightly around the hand that held hers. Is this a dream?

When the song ended, it took them a few seconds to separate. She was having a hard time breathing and he was looking at her face with those eyes. She took a step back, almost bumping into Kevin.

“I need a drink,” she blurted out as she walked as quickly as one can while wearing high heels. Her heart was pounding and her head was spinning.

She turned from the bar with a martini in hand and ran into Phyllis.

“Pam!” Phyllis hugged her. “I’m so glad that you’re here.”

“Oh, Phyllis, this was such a beautiful wedding,” Pam gushed.

“Thank you. You look like you’re having a good time,” Phyllis smiled mischievously.

Pam looked at her with squinted eyes and then looked down again. “I am.”

Phyllis squeezed her hand, “Make the most of tonight.” With a smile still on her face, Phyllis walked off to greet her other guests.

Pam took a long sip of her drink and walked back to her table. Michael and Dwight sat on either side of Jim, whose face was blank. Pam heard Michael say, “Come on, Slim Jim, tell us what makes the Stamford branch tick?”

It was just as well. Pam was not sure what to say to Jim at the moment.

Pam found her coat and stepped outside of the hotel. The snow fell heavily and was beginning to pile up. She wondered if she should try to go home now before the snow got any worse. But she did not want to go home to her lonely apartment. Instead, she stood under the awning and looked out at the snow. It was so beautiful. She wished she had her sketchbook.

A group of party revelers stumbled out of the front door of the hotel. Pam had forgotten that tonight was New Year’s Eve. She was spending the first New Year’s after her wedding alone. Not how I had imagined it. Just ten minutes ago, she had been dancing in Jim’s arms and he looked at her with eyes full of love. Did I imagine that? She shivered.

“Hey.” Jim walked outside, his hands in the pockets of his long winter coat. “Aren’t you cold?”

“I thought you were talking to Michael and Dwight.”

“I was. They were grilling me on trade secrets I’ve learned from Stamford.” He rolled his eyes and stood next to her.

“Isn’t it beautiful?” she asked, looking out at the falling snow.

Jim looked at her, “Yes.”

She turned to him but wouldn’t look at his face. “Um, I don’t know if you heard, but I’m, um, not married anymore.”

“Yeah, I was told.” Jim laughed nervously. “More than a few times.”

She finally looked up and met his eyes. “Who told you?”

He laughed again and looked down at his hands which were still in his pockets. “Well, I guess the day you announced it, Michael and Kelly both called me. Everyone else in the office emailed me. Dwight’s email was the best.” Jim took his hands out of his pocket so he could air-quote. “’Fact: Pam and Roy are divorcing. Conclusion: She will soon be single and eligible.’ Even Creed emailed me. Though he referred to me as ’Tim’ and couldn’t remember your name.” Jim smiled awkwardly. “Periodically, I got email updates from this or that person. And, of course, there were Phyllis’ biweekly email reminders to get my butt to her wedding.” Pam smiled.

Jim’s expression grew serious. “Pam, I’m sorry that your marriage didn’t work out. I don’t know if what I said to you had any impact but I had no right to do that to you. Especially so close to your wedding.”

“It definitely affected me but I learned the hard way that Roy was not the one for me. I never should have married him.” Pam crossed her arms to warm herself.

“I meant it though. You know, the whole, um, love part.” He looked nervous but his gaze never left her face.

Pam was trying to formulate the words in her mouth when more party revelers ran out the door. “Hey, it’s almost New Years! Ten more minutes!”

The moment passed.

Turning toward the door, Jim placed his hand gently on Pam‘s back, “Its cold. Let’s get back in there with the others.”

Jim and Pam walked back into the ballroom and took off their coats. Everyone was standing on the dance floor with champagne glasses in hand. Bob and Phyllis were standing beside the DJ’s stand.

Bob had his arm around Phyllis’ shoulder. “We want to thank all of you for being here tonight, especially on New Year’s Eve. It means so much to have family and friends here on such an important night for us. Let’s have a toast.” Everyone raised their glasses. “To love.”

The sound of clinking glasses echoed throughout the room. Pam took hold of Jim’s hand as they drank from their glasses.

Bob continued, “And don’t forget to take a complimentary Vance Refrigeration magnet on your way out.”

The DJ took the microphone from Bob. “OK, everybody. Its almost time for the New Year to begin! Let’s count down the old one. Ten-nine-eight-seven-six-five-four-three-two-ONNNEE!” The room erupted into cheers.

Jim pulled Pam into his arms and looked deeply into her eyes. He kissed her softly and warmly. He pulled his lips from hers and continued to look into her eyes. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him with such passion that he had to steady himself. Music, cheers, and applause surrounded them, but they did not hear a sound.

An hour later, Phyllis and Bob were leaving their wedding reception. The guests followed the happy couple out into the lobby. The Dunder-Mifflin employees stood with each other. Dwight had his arm around Angela’s waist. Angela’s face shone from the huge smile on her face. Oscar and Gil held hands, as did Kevin and Stacy, and Stanley and Terri. Kelly tried to take Ryan’s hand but he pretended to not notice. Michael just grinned. And next to them, Jim had his arms wrapped around Pam’s waist. He was never going to let go of her again.

As Bob and Phyllis walked to the door, Jim yelled out, “Thank you, Phyllis.”

Phyllis turned around and smiled. “My pleasure.”

As Pam happily leaned against Jim’s chest, she was glad she bought that blue dress.