That fateful day when he once again walked through the doors of Dunder Mifflin, walked back to that which he held most dear, walked back to Pam.  She had been excited to see him, he could tell. 

As he walked in, pretending to listen to Martin talk about football, his heart leapt as he was struck once again with her simple beauty.  She sat at her desk, nervously pulling her loosely curled hair and trying hard to hide the excitement that was bubbling from within. 

He had spent the previous night going over all the possibilities that this moment might hold: what would she do, what would she say, would she acknowledge him at all?  He could feel her eyes on him the second he walked through the open door, but before he could meet her gaze Michael had come up to him, said something about not wanting him there and shoved him in the chest, jolting him from the trance like state the sight of her had put him in.  Michael herded Martin away and he was left with Pam.  Pam. 

He looked down at her, but before he could even start to get out the joke he had rehearsed the night before, she had bolted from her seat and was rushing toward him, a huge grin on her face.  Before he knew it she had wrapped her arms around his neck and as he enveloped her in his long arms, time came to a standstill.   

How many nights had he spent alone in his bed in Stamford, thinking of this woman?  Thinking of Pam.  His Pam.  He wrapped his arms around her and held her close, unable to wipe the goofy grin from his face.  He tried to take it all in, tried to burn it to his brain, every little detail from this moment.  This moment that he had not expected.  This moment that might not ever happen again.  Pam.  In his arms.  Again.  As he breathed in her scent his thoughts shifted to the last time Pam was in his arms.  How many times had he gone through the events of that night over and over again? 

He had been at the end of his rope.  He had given it a shot.  Given it two shots.  But it wasn’t enough.  She had said No and he walked away.  Walked away from Pam.  Walked away from his best friend.  It was the last time he had seen her.

The rest of the day had been awkward.  Ryan had taken his old desk and he was forced to sit with his back to Pam.  His first instinct was disappointment, but he soon changed his attitude and was glad not to have her as a distraction.  Besides, his new desk faced Karen.  Karen.  Karen had been his ally in Stamford.  She’d been his friend.  His only friend.  She took the job in Scranton because of him.  She had followed him to another state.  She never said so, but he knew.  They had only gone out four times and she had followed him when he left.  He left and she followed.  Something to be said for that, he thought as he glanced up at her from his computer.  She smiled shyly at him and gave him a “this place is crazy” look before turning back to her screen.  You have no idea, he thought.

At one point in the afternoon, Pam had followed him into the break room.  He knew she had followed him.  He knew her.  She had commented on his switch from grape soda to bottled water and he told her he was evolving.  She had asked him to grab a coffee with her and he told her he was still unpacking. 

Later that night, in the parking lot, he had told her he was sort of seeing someone and she told him they would always be friends. 

Nothing has changed, he thought as he drove to meet Karen.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

After their brief talk in the parking lot Pam had kept her distance, only talking to him when she needed to for work.  She never looked up when he hung up his coat in the morning and she never looked up when he said a quick goodbye to her at the end of the day. 

At staff meetings she always managed to sit behind him and the one time that fate sat her directly across the table from him, she didn’t look up from her pad of paper once.  Jim spent the majority of the meeting watching her out of the corner of his eye.  Watching her take notes on Michael’s latest marketing ideas on the top page of her pad and sketching something on the page beneath.

He wondered what she was sketching.  He had heard from Phyllis that she had enrolled in some art classes but he had yet to find the chance to ask her about them.

Lunches were spent with Karen.  She would come over and sit on his desk, chatting at him until he was ready to go.  On the days they didn’t go out they ate together in the break room, sitting at a table with Kevin and Meredith or whoever else was eating at the same time as them.  Pam never was.

It was Friday afternoon of his second week back in Scranton.  Michael stood in the doorway to his office giving a lecture on the importance of something or other.  Jim sat with his legs crossed and his hands behind his head facing Michael.  He leaned back in his chair, closing his eyes and sighed deeply.  As he sat there, trying to block Michael’s voice from his head, a strange feeling came over him. 

Her eyes.  He could feel them.  Burning into the side of his face like little laser beams.  He swallowed hard and turned his head, opening his eyes slowly.  Pam sat watching him, only a few feet away.  Her face was blank but her eyes spoke volumes as they took in Jim’s face.  He had never seen Pam look this way before.  Her eyes were filled with sadness and longing, hurt and anguish.  It was the first time in two weeks that she had not looked away.  She looked as if she was trying to tell him something.  Trying to tell him something with her eyes.  Jim’s mouth fell open as he stared back at Pam, trying desperately to hear what her eyes were trying to say.  Just as he was about to say something, he felt a hand on his knee.  Karen. 

He quickly turned his head toward her as she snapped her fingers in front of his face, “Earth to Halpert,” she said, smiling widely. 

He gave her a lame grin and a short chuckle, “Oh, hey, I guess I sort of spaced out there,” he said as he glanced back to Pam’s desk.  She sat staring intently at her monitor, once again back to ignoring his existence.

Jim was in a daze for the rest of the afternoon, going over her face, her eyes, in his head.  If only Karen hadn’t interrupted them. 

When five o’clock finally came, Jim slowly got to his feet and made his way to the coat rack.  He pulled on his jacket and slung his messenger bag over his shoulder.  Karen had left earlier to go see her cousins in the city for the weekend.  Jim had plans to meet Mark for dinner but no definite plans for the rest of the weekend.

On an impulse, he turned to Pam’s desk, “Hey Pam,” he said softly.

“Bye.” Pam said, not looking up from her typing.

“Oh,” he started, “actually I, uh, well, I was wondering if you wanted to grab that coffee sometime this weekend.”

Pam stopped typing and looked up suddenly, her eyes full of anxiety and fear.  “Um, well, actually I, um, don’t you have plans with Karen?” she finally said.

“No, she went to New York to see some family for the weekend.” He said. 

“Oh.” Pam said and stopped.  He could see the debate going on inside her head, her eyes darted around and she looked down at her hands.  “Um, ok.  I guess I am free tomorrow afternoon.  I have a class in the morning until 1.” She said, looking up at Jim.

“Ok.” Jim said, “Do you, uh, want to meet somewhere then?  How about at Fernando’s on 3rd Street?”

“Ok.” Pam said with a small nod.

“Ok.” Jim said, giving her a small, forced grin, “I’ll see you tomorrow then, Beesley.”

Pam nodded without smiling, “Bye, Jim.”

He shook his head and climbed out of his car, making his way to the door of the restaurant.  Inside, Mark was sitting at the bar waiting for him.  “Jimmy!” he said as Jim climbed onto the stool next to him.  Mark smiled and clapped his friend on the back.

“Hey, man,” Jim said, happy to see his old friend.  “It’s been a long time.”

“Yeah, it sure has.  How is it being back in good ol’ Scranton?”

“It’s good … weird, but good.”

Mark nodded and took a swig of his beer, “You wanna go sit down?”

“Sure,” Jim said smiling widely.  He had missed his friend.

Three beers and a gigantic burger had left Jim feeling pretty relaxed.  “I thought I was over her, I really did …” he trailed off, taking another drink.

“Jimmy, man, you gotta get over that chick.” Mark said, shaking his head, “What about this new girl, Karen?  Is she hot?”

“Yeah, she’s great, she’s …”

“Jimmy, is she hot?” Mark interrupted.

“Yeah, she’s hot …” Jim said, nodding.

“Then what’s the problem?” Mark asked, his eyebrows raised.

“I don’t know.  I just, she’s great, she’s just not …”

“Pam.” Mark finished.  “Man, Jimmy, what is the deal with this chick?” He laughed and took a swig of beer while he waited for the answer.

Jim paused for a minute, looking down at mug of beer in front of him.  His face fell and he sighed deeply.  “She’s just, … I don’t know man, I just can’t get her out of my head.”  He looked up at his friend, “She won’t even look at me at the office.  Today was the first time she even talked to me in two weeks.  I just don’t get it, I mean, she was so happy to see me on my first day back.  I could see it in her eyes.  And then, all of a sudden the next day she wouldn’t even look at me.  She hasn’t looked me in the eye in two weeks …” Jim said and let out a long breath, “… until today.”

“She looked at you?” Mark asked, a confused look on his face.

“Yeah, she was outright staring at me.  It was the weirdest look I’ve ever seen on her before.”

“Did you talk to her?”
            “Yeah, well, no.”

“Uh, what?” Mark asked, wondering if Jim was reaching his limit.

“Well, I was going to say something to her, but Karen was there and when I looked back, she wouldn’t look at me again.”

“So…”

“So, I don’t know.  I asked her to get a coffee tomorrow.”

“What?”  Mark asked and reached across for Jim’s beer, “You are making no sense, man.”

Jim laughed and shook his head, “Yeah, I don’t even know.  Everything is so damn complicated … anyway – how’s your love life these days?”

Mark and Jim stayed at the bar for another hour or so, laughing and catching up on the months since Jim left.  As they walked out into the parking lot, Mark shouted, “Oh, hey, I almost forgot, I got some mail and other odds and ends from the apartment.” He reached into his truck, pulling out a brown paper bag.

            “Thanks,” Jim said as he took the bag.  He gave his friend a quick hug before getting into his car and driving the four blocks to his new apartment.

            Inside he threw his keys and the bag from Mark on the kitchen table and grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator.  After taking off his shoes and selecting the new Shins CD to play on his stereo, he sat down at the table and dumped out the contents of the bag.  Inside was a stack of mail held together with a rubber band, a Penn State t-shirt, a couple of CDs and a six-pack of grape soda.

            Jim leaned back in his chair, stretching his arms out over his head and yawning deeply.  When he was done, he leaned his arms forward on the table and grabbed the pack of mail, pulling off the rubber band.  He quickly thumbed through the bundle; the first six pieces were junk.  But the seventh stopped him in his tracks.  He slowly set down the rest of the mail and held the small white envelope in his large hands.  It was postmarked June 10th and addressed simply to Jim Halpert at his old apartment.  There was no return address but he didn’t need one to know who it was from.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Pam sat at her desk, her fingers poised over her keyboard, motionless.  The office was empty, quiet except for the hum of the computers.  And the rapid pounding of her heart.  She breathed in and out slowly for a few minutes while she waited for her pulse to return to normal.

The last two weeks had been a living hell, and now she was going to get a coffee with him?  It had only been twelve days since he had come back and nothing was going right.  What was I thinking? She thought.

She had been so excited to see him again.  She had been planning for his return ever since Phyllis had leaked the news to her over lunch one day.  On the morning of the big day she had gotten up extra early, taking extra time with her hair and applying a bit more makeup than usual.  She had felt giddy the entire ride into the office and had to physically calm herself down before getting out of her car, so she didn’t embarrass herself by skipping across the parking lot like she wanted to.

She sat at her desk waiting for what seemed like eternity for him to arrive.  Her heart raced every time she heard the door to the office open.  She would look up expectantly, hoping it would be him, only to be disappointed as new face after new face appeared around the corner.  When it finally was him, she was overcome with nerves and immediately looked down at her desk, nervously pulling on her hair. 

She hadn’t planned on hugging him, though the thought had crossed her mind, but as soon as she saw him, standing alone in front of her, looking down at her the way he had a thousand times before, she couldn’t contain herself any longer.  She jumped up from her desk and wrapped her arms around him.  Jim.  Her Jim.  She felt his arms wrap around her back and closed her eyes.  She breathed in his smell, God how she missed his smell.  She tightened her arms around his neck and prayed that the world would end right now and she would never have to let go of him again.

Her prayer went unanswered however, and she eventually had to let go.  They made small talk and a minute later he was gone.  He was only a few feet away, but to Pam it was too far.  She sat back down at her desk and watched as Jim said hello to Dwight.  She was impressed at how fast he could ruffle his feathers.  She had missed pulling pranks with Jim in the office.  She had tried a few of her own while he was away, but it was never as much fun. 

When Ryan wouldn’t give Jim his old desk back, Pam nearly jumped out of her chair.  She frowned as Jim sat down at his new desk, his back to her.

The morning had progressed slowly; Pam had trouble concentrating on anything besides the back of Jim’s head.  All she could think of was how soft his hair had been in her hands that night.  That night.

She sat next to him during Michael’s orientation and was so happy to have things back to normal.  She didn’t think twice when Karen tapped him on the back and handed him a piece of gum.

After the meeting was over, Pam saw Jim get up and walk into the break room.  Now is my chance she thought and got up to follow him.  She was surprised when she saw him choose bottled water from the machine instead of his normal grape soda, and commented to him on it.  She didn’t think anything of it when he told her he was evolving and went ahead with her plan.  She tried to act casual as she invited him to get a coffee with her, hoping that it would give her the chance to tell him all the things she had wanted to say for so long.  When he rejected her offer and then left shortly after to get back to work?, she began to wonder what was going on. 

She went back to her desk, feeling a bit deflated.  Things weren’t going as she had planned at all.  After answering a few voicemails and playing two games of FreeCell, she looked at the clock on her computer.  It was 11:25, almost time for lunch.  She knew Jim liked to eat lunch early at around 11:30, so she got up and walked quietly into the kitchen. 

She opened the refrigerator and pulled out two brown sack lunches.  As she sat them on the counter, she thought she saw Jim out of the corner of her eye.  She turned just in time to see him as he pulled on his coat and walked out of the office, followed by Karen. 

She looked down at the two brown paper bags sitting on the counter in front of her and felt foolish.  It was stupid of her to think Jim would want to eat lunch with her today after having no contact for months. 

She grabbed the two bags and walked quickly through the office to Creed’s desk.  He looked up at her through his bifocals as she plopped the bag marked with a little purple J down on his desk, the can of grape soda inside making a loud clink as it hit the wood.  “Here.” She said and walked back to reception.  She sat down and pulled out the mixed berries yogurt she had brought for herself.  She opened it up and sadly put a spoonful in her mouth.

A minute later Creed came up to her desk, “What is this?” he asked, holding the sandwich open in his hands.

“Ham and cheese,” Pam replied.

“Hmm, it tastes like chicken.” He said and walked away.

            Pam’s day only got worse from that point on.  After seeing Karen affectionately rub Jim’s back in the parking lot that afternoon, Pam just wanted to go home.  When the end of the day finally came, she wanted nothing more than to leave but had to stay late to get some last minute faxes out.

            She rejoiced when it was finally her turn to go home.  As she walked across the dark parking lot, all she could think of was Karen’s hand on Jim’s back.  She felt sick.  Jim’s voice startled her. 

She didn’t know how to respond when he told her he was “sort of seeing someone” so she said the first thing that popped into her head.  Looking back, she realized her answer had been out of habit.  Her and Jim were friends.  They’d always be friends.

That was two weeks ago.  She hadn’t spoken to him or looked at him since then.  She couldn’t.  She didn’t think her heart could handle it.  It wasn’t that she wasn’t looking at him at all, she was, every chance she got, she just couldn’t bring herself to look him in the eye.  She was scared of what she might see there.  Several times she had almost been caught looking at him, but was able to look away quick enough at the last second. 

Today was different.  This time when he turned to look at her, she didn’t flinch or turn away.  She didn’t have the energy.  She just stared.  Stared into those beautiful eyes that used to be so full of love for her.  They looked different now.  They were filled with questions, full of hurt and confusion.

Pam shook her head to clear away the picture of his eyes in her mind.  Her pulse had finally returned to normal, so she stood up and grabbed her jacket from the coat rack.  She took a deep breath and walked out of the office, scared as hell of what tomorrow might bring.

            Jim took in a big breath and let it out slowly, turning the envelope over to the back and gently tearing open the back flap.  A flash of color jumped out at him as he carefully pulled out the single 3x5 piece of cardstock. 

On the front was a watercolor.  A small teapot sitting on a light brown table, blanketed in what looked like sunshine was delicately painted on the card.  The background of the picture was a soft lavender color; the teapot itself a light shade of teal.

Jim studied the small watercolor for several moments before noticing the small letters in the lower right hand corner.  PB.  He looked at the picture once more before carefully turning the card over.  There was printed text on the back:

Lackawanna Community College Art Show

Saturday, June 24, 2006  4-9 pm

LCC Gymnasium

382 Elmhurst Drive

Below the typed information was a small handwritten note.

Will you come?

-Pam

P.S.  I didn’t marry him.

          Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

            Pam looked at the clock on her dashboard as she pulled into an empty space in the parking lot of the small coffee shop.  1:05. Putting the car in park, she cut the engine and pulled out the keys.  Jim’s car was parked to her right but he was not in it – he must have gone in already, she thought as she slowly opened the door and got out.

With her head down, she slowly made her way to where Jim sat leaning back in his chair, his legs crossed, looking out the window.  She slowed as she neared the table, trying to convince herself not to chicken out and leave.  Before she could act though, Jim turned his head, making her decision for her.

            “Hey,” he said a big smile on his face, “Glad you could make it.  I was kind of scared you wouldn’t show.”  He uncrossed his legs and sat up in his chair, his eyes glued to her as she took off her coat.

            “Oh.  Yeah, no.” Pam said, smiling awkwardly, sitting down in the chair opposite Jim.

            “So ... how was your class?” he asked, tilting his head to the side, waiting for her reply.  You could cut the tension between them with a knife.

            “Oh, it was good.  Yeah, it was good.” Pam said, nodding a little too enthusiastically, her lips pursed together, “Hey, do you want to get something to eat?  I’m starved.”

            “Oh yeah, no, yeah good idea,” Jim said as he stood up.  He waited for Pam and followed her to the counter. 

The café was fairly busy, mainly with people coming in to grab a coffee or a bagel to go.  They stood side by side in line, Jim with his hands in his pockets, Pam with her hands knotted together at her waist, both their heads tilted up towards the menu above the register.

            When it was their turn to order, Pam ordered a chef salad and Jim ordered a grilled ham and cheese sandwich.  The cashier rang up the order together and Jim insisted on paying.

            Once they had their food, they headed back to their table.  Jim set his food down and grabbed Pam’s paper cup, “Diet Coke right?” he asked as he headed off toward the pop machine.  Pam nodded as she watched him go.  He was wearing worn jeans and a thick dark blue sweater with a white t-shirt hanging out underneath.  It had been a long time since she had seen him in jeans, and she couldn’t help but admire how good he looked in them.

            Jim returned shortly with the pops and sat down, handing one to Pam.

            “Thanks,” she said as she set down her cup on the table and opened her straw.  She poked it through the whole in the top of the lid but it only went down about ¾ of the way into the cup before it hit something and stopped.  She tried to jam it down several more times, but it seemed that something was blocking it.

            Jim watched as she struggled with the straw, “Oh, sorry, I put two lemon wedges in there; I thought you liked lemon in your coke, I can get you a new one …“ he said.

            “Oh.” Pam said, looking surprised, “No, I mean, yeah, I do like lemons, thanks, no this is great.”  She tried once again and managed to maneuver the straw down into the cup. 

            They sat in silence as they ate their lunches.  Why did I order a salad? Pam thought to herself as she tried to crunch the lettuce quietly.  They are so messy and loud.        She chewed slowly with her head down, trying to be as quiet as she could.  After a few moments of silent eating, she glanced up at Jim.  She watched as the insides of his sandwich plopped out the other side and onto his plate as he took a bite.  He looked like he was having trouble controlling the juicy sandwich and she couldn’t help but let out a small giggle at the face he was making at it.

            He heard her giggle and looked up, holding the empty sandwich dripping over his plate. 

            “Having some trouble?” she asked, her eyebrows raised innocently.  “Do you need me to get you some napkins?”  She paused for a second, “Or a towel?”

            He pursed his lips and cocked his head to the side, an amused look on his face, “Thank you for your concern, but uh, I think I can handle it.  These tomatoes are just really … succulent.”

Pam giggled again as he set the soggy bread down on his plate and tried unsuccessfully to reconstruct his sandwich.  In the end he ate it with a fork.

Jim’s sandwich troubles put Pam at ease with her salad, allowing her to eat it without worry.  They didn’t talk much for the rest of the meal, but the air between them was noticeably lighter after Jim’s sandwich incident. 

After they had finished their meal, Pam reached across the table and grabbed Jim’s plate.  “Wow,” she said as she regarded the messy table in front of him.  He looked up and shrugged at her, a faint smile hiding in his eyes.  She carried the plates away and returned with several napkins, stopping to wipe off the area in front of Jim before she sat back down in her seat.

“Thanks.” Jim said as she finished.  An awkward silence followed as the tension began to build again.  “So … uh, how was your art class?”

“It was good,” Pam replied, nodding.  Why do I keep nodding at everything he says? She thought to herself, willing her head to stay still.

“Good.” Jim said, nodding.  “Is it a painting class?”

“Yeah,” Pam said, concentrating on holding her head in one place, “It’s a watercolor class.”

“Oh.  Yeah . . .” Jim said, “I uh, saw Mark last night, my old roommate, and he gave me …” he was interrupted by a dull ringing coming from his pocket.  “Sorry,” he said as he quickly reached into his pocket, pulling out his cell phone.  He looked at the Caller ID, then up at her “Do you mind if I take this?”

“Yeah, no sure,” Pam said, this time shaking her head instead of nodding.

Jim flipped open the phone and said, “Hey,” as he stood and walked to the door of the café.

She grabbed her coat from the chair next to her and put it in her lap, waiting as Jim walked across the room toward her.  As he neared the table, she stood up, “I need to get going, I didn’t realize what time it was.” She said, pulling on her coat.  “Thanks a lot for lunch.”

“Oh.” Jim said, “Um, you have to go?  It’s only 1:45.”

“Yeah, I have to um, meet a friend at 2, I totally forgot.” Pam said, giving him a shrug and nodding her head again.

“Oh, ok.  Um, … ok.” Jim said and pulled on his coat.

He followed Pam outside into the parking lot and they walked to their respective cars.  “Did you get a new car?” he asked, pointing to the car between them.

“Yeah.” Pam said, nodding.

“Nice.” He said, peaking in the windows.  “Fancy new car for Fancy New Beesley.”

“Yup, that’s me.” Pam said, wishing she could just leave.

“Wow, you must be painting some big pictures.” He said when he noticed several gallons of paint on a tarp in her back seat.

“Oh no, I was just helping a friend paint her apartment.” She said, “I should really get going though.  Um, thanks for lunch.”

“Oh yeah, right, yeah, no problem.”  Jim said, stepping away from her car and leaning back on his own, nodding.  

“See you later.” She said as she climbed into her car and started it up.

“Yeah … see you later,” Jim said as she slammed her door shut.

He raised his hand to wave goodbye as she pulled out of the parking lot, but she never looked back.

            Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

            Jim stood in the parking lot leaning against his car, his arm still in the air as he watched Pam’s taillights disappear down the road.  Well, that went well, he thought as his arm dropped to his side and he pulled his keys out of his pocket.  He clicked open his doors and climbed inside.  His key in the ignition, he paused before starting the car, replaying the last hour in his head. 

            He had arrived at the café at 12:45 and grabbed a small table toward the back, hoping it would be a comfortable place for them to sit and talk.  He had debated all morning about what to wear, in the end deciding to try to look casual, but not too casual.

At first he sat in the chair facing the door, but then decided to sit in the chair facing the window so he could watch for her car.  As each minute after one o’clock ticked by on his watch, he became more and more convinced that she wasn’t going to show.  At 1:09 he had just about given up hope, when he noticed a faint reflection of her standing behind him in the window.  She looked as if she were debating on whether or not to stay, so he quickly turned around, preventing her from sneaking away.

He couldn’t help but smile when he first saw her, her cheeks were pink from the cool breeze outside and her hair was up in a loose ponytail, she looked fresh and beautiful.  When she took off her coat, he saw that she had on a pale purple turtleneck and an old pair of jeans.  They must be her painting jeans he thought, noticing several small splashes of color scattered on the legs.

She sat down in the chair across from him and put her hands in her lap.  When he started to ask her about her art class, she seemed flustered and nervous and mumbled something about being starved.

Jim cringed to himself and sat back in his car seat as he remembered how lunch went.

As soon as he ordered the grilled ham and cheese sandwich, he regretted it.  Fernando’s was one of his favorite places in Scranton to go for lunch, and the ham and cheese was his all-time favorite.  However, the ham and cheese was also the all-time messiest.   

In an attempt to be thoughtful, he had gotten Pam’s pop for her, remembering to put in two lemon wedges like she liked.  It had backfired on him however, as he watched Pam try in vain to poke her straw through the poor lemons resting at the bottom of her cup.  When he told her why her straw was getting stuck, she looked genuinely surprised and then immediately embarrassed.

The silence during lunch was almost unbearable; Jim tried to eat his sandwich carefully, being sure not to take too big of a bite in case Pam wanted to talk.  She didn’t seem to be in the talking mood however.  Every time he glanced up at her she had her head down, poking around her salad with her fork and chewing her food slowly as if it were made of glass.  The sight of her eating so awkwardly caused him to momentarily forget about his own plan for eating carefully, and he took a big bite, causing his sandwich to dismember.  He watched in horror as the insides of his sandwich squeezed out from between the slices of bread and plopped down onto his plate. 

He sat back in his chair, glaring angrily at the sandwich, cursing himself for ordering it in the first place, when he heard her giggle.

It had been months since he’d heard her giggle and the sound immediately brought a surge of warmth into his heart.  He looked up at her as she tried to hold back a grin, offering to get him some napkins, or a towel.  He politely declined, but couldn’t help but grin to himself at her happiness over his misfortune.  God I've missed her laugh he thought to himself.

Jim tried to salvage the rest of his sandwich and his pride, by eating the remainder of his lunch with a fork.  They were both quiet for the rest of the meal, but Jim could tell by the way Pam was eating her salad that she had relaxed some.

When they were done, Jim was once again embarrassed when Pam took his plate away, revealing the large mess he had created on the table.  Pam leaned in front of him, quickly wiping the table clear.  Jim reveled in the clean scent she left lingering in the air as she sat back down in her chair.

He had been anxious to talk about the card he received from her over the summer and thought that a good way to lead into it would be to ask her about her art classes, so he asked how today’s was again.  She answered anxiously, nodding like a maniac.  If Jim hadn't been so nervous himself, he might have made a joke about her bobbing head, but instead asked another question.  When she answered that it was a watercolor class she had gone to this morning, he felt excited that the opportunity had come up to talk about the card.  His excitement was short-lived however when his phone interrupted them.

It had been his mother.  Jim had been playing phone tag with her since returning home to Scranton and knew she was anxious to talk to him.  He had excused himself to take the call, thinking that it would give him a good chance to go over what he wanted to say to Pam again before actually saying it.

He quickly invited his Mother to have dinner at his new apartment on Wednesday night and tried to end the conversation as fast as he could.

When he got back to the table however, he could tell he’d missed his chance.  Pam looked dejected and wouldn’t look him in the eye. 

He knew right away that she was lying about her 2pm meeting with her friend, but decided not to call her on it as she seemed in a hurry to leave. 

Jim sighed heavily and started his car.  He pulled out onto the road and drove the three miles to his new apartment.  Once inside, he walked to his refrigerator and looked inside.  He pushed past the six-pack of grape soda from Mark and half-empty carton of orange juice and grabbed a bottle of water.  He sat down on his couch and put his feet up on the coffee table in front of him, taking a long drink of the cold water. 

What a disaster, he thought as he screwed the top onto the water bottle and set it on the table.  He laced his hands together behind his head and stared at the empty white wall in front of him.  This place really needs some color he thought to himself as he drifted off to sleep.

             Pam was sitting on her couch, mindlessly flipping through an art magazine when she heard her cell phone vibrate on the cushion next to her.  She blindly reached over and picked up the phone, flipping it open without checking to see who it was.  She put the phone up to her ear and said hello as she continued to flip through her magazine.

            The second she heard his voice, her hand froze, holding page 49 mid-turn.

            “Uh, hi,” Jim said.

            “Hi.”

            “Hey are you still with your friend?  Am I interrupting you?” Jim asked.

            Pam had to think for a second before responding, “Oh.  No, she just left actually, I’m um, I’m at home now.”

            “Oh ok.”  The line was silent for a few moments before he went on, “So, uh I was wondering, um, well I just, when I got home today from lunch with you, I just noticed that my walls are really white, uh the walls in my apartment are really white and I was thinking, um you said you were painting your apartment or I mean painting your friend’s apartment and I was wondering, uh if you would want to paint ... mine.”

              Pam waited patiently as Jim rambled through his request, he sounds so nervous she thought to herself.  After he had finished, Pam was silent for a moment before answering, “Um, I’m actually pretty bus …”

            Jim interrupted her, “Oh, hey can you hang on a second?”

            Jim interrupted her thoughts, “Pam, are you still there?” he asked.

            “Yeah.” Pam replied sadly.

            “I’m sorry about that.  It was my Mom, she uh, keeps interrupting us.  Sorry.”

            “Your Mom?” Pam asks, the surprise evident in her voice.

            “Yeah, um when she called earlier, when we were at lunch, I invited her over to dinner on Wednesday but she just called to change it to Tuesday. We’ve been playing phone tag, and … yeah you probably don’t care, sorry.”  Jim chuckled nervously, “Anyway, um what do you think?  About the painting I mean.”

            “Your Mom called when we were at lunch?” Pam asked, ignoring Jim’s question.

            “Yeah, sorry about that, I probably shouldn’t have taken the call, I just …”

            “No, that’s fine, I mean, it’s your Mom, you should totally talk to your Mom when she calls.” Pam interrupted.  It was his Mom!  Of course Jim is the type of guy to answer his Mom’s phone calls!  It was his Mom!

            “Yeah.”  After a short pause, “So, um, do you think you could do some painting for me?  I mean I’d pay you.  I just um, I don’t know it seems really … blah in here all of a sudden.  All the white.  I don’t know…”

            Pam was quiet for a second as she thought about what painting Jim’s apartment would entail. Firstly, it would definitely include spending more time with Jim; and while this afternoon was totally awkward, Pam still felt the desire to spend as much time in his presence as possible.  Secondly, she would get to see his new apartment, see where he sleeps, what he eats, …

            “Pam?”

            “Yeah, um, yeah, I could paint for you.”

            “Really?  I mean, ok, cool.”

            “Yeah.  Um, what rooms do you want to paint?  I mean, how big is the space?  Do you have colors picked out?”

            “Um, no.  Well, I think I want the whole thing painted.  So that would be like two bedrooms, two bathrooms, the living/dining room and um … all three kitchens.”

            Pam giggled, “Oh wow, so you found one with three kitchens in Scranton, huh?”

            “Of course!  Geez Beesley, do you really think I could live without three kitchens?”

            “No, I guess not.” Pam replied, a smile on her face, “Ok, so do you have any colors picked out for these three kitchens or are they all going to be the same?”

            “Well, I haven’t given much thought to that yet I guess.  I kind of didn’t even think about painting until I saw that paint in your car today.”

            “Okay, well, it’s going to be sort of hard to paint if you don’t have the colors picked out.”

“Really Beesley, I thought you were a professional.  Can’t you work around that?”

Pam laughed again, smiling at the playful tone in Jim’s voice.  “Sadly, no.  I think you need to pick out the colors first.  When did you want me to come over?  I mean, come over to paint?”

“Oh, well,” Jim let out a nervous chuckle, “I guess I didn’t really think about it.  Um, I guess as soon as you have time.  I mean, whenever works for you.  I still haven’t really unpacked much of anything, so there isn’t anything on the walls, and not a lot of stuff to move around, so I guess, yeah, whenever works for you.”

“Okay.  Well, I don’t really have a lot going on right now.  My schedule is pretty clear, I mean, well, who am I kidding, it’s bare.” Pam said, repeating Jim’s nervous laugh.  “I could start … Monday

“Monday?  Yeah ok.  Yeah, that sounds good.  Like after work?”

“Yeah, that would be ok.”

“Ok, cool.”

“Jim?”

“Yeah?”  his voice sounded softer, almost scared.

“You do realize that this means you will have to pick out the colors by Monday, right?”

Jim let out a breathy laugh, “Yeah, ok, I’ll go tomorrow and get the paint.”

“Ok.”

“Ok.  Um, thanks.”

“Yeah, no problem.”
            “Ok, so, I guess I’ll see you Monday then?”

“Yup.”

“Ok.”

“Ok.”

“Um, bye Pam.”
            “Bye Jim.”

Pam watched in horror as the small blue jar of paint clattered to the floor, sending paint flying out in all directions.  Luckily, she had put down a newspaper cover over the hardwood floor of the tiny dining area in her apartment, so the damage was not too bad. 

Unfortunately however, the glass jar had shattered and the shards had mixed with the paint, ruining it.  She looked down at the blue mess for a second before bending down to pick up the ringing cell phone that had caused the accident in the first place.               

“Hello?” she answered.               

“Hi, um, this is Jim.”                

“Oh, hi.”  Pam suddenly forgetting about the blue disaster and walking over to her couch.             

“Hey, so yesterday when we talked, you failed to mention that picking out paint is perhaps one of the most difficult tasks I’ve ever encountered.”  He chuckled as he finished.               

Pam smiled knowingly, “What do you mean?”               

“What do I mean?  Well, let’s see.  First, there are the colors, as if that isn’t hard enough.  Then, there is the, um, well, I don’t even, what does eggshell even mean?” Pam interrupted with a short giggle before Jim continued, “and honestly, how am I supposed to know how much to get?  Should I buy brushes?  And what’s up with the blue masking tape?”

Even though he sounded all worked up, Pam could still hear the smile in his voice.  “Ok Halpert, slow down.  Let’s take this one step at a time.  Did you buy anything yet?”

“Not yet.  I can though, I’m still at the store.”

“What store are you at?”

“Scranton Hardware.”

“Oh.  Um, downtown?”

“No, the Scranton Hardware in Philly.”

“Ok, ok.  Well, actually I could come down there and help if you want.  I mean, well, I need to pick up some paint and the art store is like three stores over from the hardware store, so I mean, if you need help.”  She paused, “and it sounds like you do, I could …”

“Yeah,” Jim broke in, “I mean, if it’s not too much trouble, I could use all the help I can get.”

“Ok, yeah, ok, um I’ll be there in like ten minutes?”

“Ok, sure, I’ll be here.”

“Ok, see you soon then.”

“Yup, ok.”

“Bye Jim.”

“Bye Pam.” 

Pam closed her cell phone and set it on the couch next to her.  She couldn’t help but grin at the thought of seeing Jim again.  Even after the way he had treated her, confessing his love for her and then leaving the state the very next day, she just couldn’t hate him.  She stood up quickly and jogged down the hall to her bedroom.  She grabbed an old sweatshirt from her closet and pulled it on over her t-shirt and slipped into a pair of loafers.  In the bathroom, she regarded herself in the mirror and sighed.  She quickly twisted her hair and clipped it up in the back and rinsed her face in cold water.  After brushing her teeth, she grabbed her purse and jacket and made her way to her car. 

She pulled into a parking space in front of the Scranton Hardware store and checked her appearance in the reflection of the glass window of the door before entering the building.  She made her way to the paint section, which was in the back and found Jim sitting on the floor next to the wall, surrounded by a rainbow of paint chips.  His legs were crossed and his elbows rested on his knees.  His eyebrows were knotted in concentration and confusion and Pam couldn’t help but smile at how cute he looked.

             Jim’s eyes slowly scanned the colors as he sat waiting for Pam to show up.  He had been in the hardware store for over an hour now.  Most of that time was spent getting up the nerve to call Pam.  He would never tell Pam this, but Jim’s grandpa owned a hardware store when he was growing up and he used to spend his summers working for him there.  Ironically, his main job was mixing and selling paint.

            He shook his head at the multitude of colors in front of him and suddenly caught a glimpse of standing near him out of the corner of his eye.  He turned just in time to see a goofy grin fall from Pam’s face only to be replaced by a shy smile.

            “Hey, you made it,” he said smiling broadly.

            “Yup.  How’s the color selection coming?” 

            “Ha.  Uh, well …” Jim motioned to the paint samples spread out before him, “not so good.  I’ve only ruled out four so far.”

            Pam giggled, “Oh, and what four are those?”

            “Um, well, let’s see, hmm I seem to have lost my “No” pile.” He leaned forward, scanning the various piles in front of him.  “Oh, here they are.” He said reaching out to grab a pile made up of only one sample.

            Pam took a few hesitant steps forward.  “This is some system you have here.” She said, shaking her head, her eyebrows raised in mock awe.

            “Yes, well, picking out colors is an important task and I am taking it completely seriously.”  Jim replied, looking her in the eye as he stared up at her.

            “Here would you like me to show you what I’ve done so far?” he asked.

            “Sure.” Pam said, a faint smile on her face.

            “Ok, well have a seat Beesly, this might take a while.” he patted the floor next to him.

            Pam smiled and sat down gingerly beside him, careful not to sit too close.  She sat Indian style and placed her hands neatly in her lap, “Ok, I’m ready.” She said, turning her head to face Jim.

            “Ok, well as I said before, here are the colors I’ve ruled out.  First we have white.  Duh, right?”

            Pam smiled, “Duh.”

            “Um, next we have off white.  Next is cream, and um this is called ivory.”

            “Wow, you’ve made a lot of progress.” Pam said, giving Jim a teasing close-lipped smile.

            “Yes, you have no idea!  I’ve been here since 9 this morning.”  He paused, “Ok, so, yeah, that’s about as far as I’ve gotten.”  Jim smiled as he turned to look at Pam, “I was hoping you would have some advice.”

            “Hmmm, well …” Pam turned to look at the rainbow of colors spread out before them.  “Ok, well let me ask you some questions first.” She said turning back to look at Jim.

            “First of all, what is your favorite color?”

            “Wow, bringing out the big guns, huh?  That’s a tough one.  Hmm, I’d have to say, um well, I don’t really know I guess.”

            “Jim.  You don’t know what your favorite color is?” Pam asked, cocking her head to the side in disbelief.

            “Not really.”

            “Hmm, ok.  Well, that’s probably something you should work on.  Um, maybe we should do this room by room.  Which do you want to start with?”

            “Um, how about my bedroom.” Jim said, swallowing a bit harder than normal.

            “Ok.  What color is the comforter on your bed?”

            “Blue.”

            “Ok, how do you feel about having a blue bedroom?”

            “Sounds good,” Jim replied nodding, “Wow, you are really good at this.” He said giving her a goofy smile.

            Pam rolled her eyes, “Ok, um, let’s see.  What color is your couch?”

            “Green.”

            “Ok, how do you feel about a green living room then?”

            “Good.”

            “Ok.  What color are your dishes in your kitchen?”

            “My dishes?  Well, they are clear.”

            “Hmm, ok, um what about your tablecloth or placemats, do you have any color in your kitchen?”

            “Um, hmm, well, I have some teal I guess.”

            “Ok, how do you feel about a teal kitchen then?”

            “Teal kitchen?  Um no, Beesly, in case you haven’t noticed, I am a man.  I need a manly kitchen.  How about …hmmm, how about a red kitchen?”
            Pam gave him an odd look and nodded, “Why red?”
            “I don’t know, I guess I have always liked teal and red together.  Is that bad?”

            “No,” Pam answered quickly, “It’s not very manly though,” she added.  “Um, ok, let’s see, what color are the towels in your bathroom?”
            “Yellow.”

            “Are you serious?”

            “Yeah, why?” Jim laughed and gave her a confused look.

            “Nothing, I just … um … didn’t peg you as a yellow towel type of guy.”

            “Oh Beesly, you have so much yet to learn about me …” Jim said shaking his head.

            “I guess I do.” Pam said quietly, “Ok, are there any other rooms you want painted?”
            “Yeah, actually I had this idea – I have two bedrooms you know, and well, I’ve always wanted to have a movie room.  You know like a room that is dedicated completely to watching movies?  Like with a nice big couch, and comfortable chairs and no light.  You know?”
            Pam nodded.

            “So, I was thinking, that maybe I would paint my second bedroom black and turn it into a movie room slash office.  What do you think?”
            Pam smiled, “That’s a great idea, Jim.”

            “Really?  You think so?”

            “Yeah, totally.  Who doesn’t like watching movies in a comfy chair in total darkness, I hate watching movies when there are lights on and you get all that glare on the TV and stuff.”
            “Yeah, me too.  But, well, Karen thinks it’s a dumb idea, so … I don’t know.”
            “Oh.”  Pam said, suddenly looking down to her folded hands.

            “Yeah, I don’t know, you know what, let’s just do it.  It’s my apartment, right?”

            Pam nodded and spoke without looking at him, “Yup.  It is.”

            “Ok, it’s settled then.  What’s next?”

            “Well, now we have to pick what shade you want for each room – that’s where these guys come in,” she said motioning to the paint samples. 

            “Ok.” Jim said.

            “Oh.” Pam said suddenly, “What time is it?”  She quickly reached for her phone, leaning toward Jim in the process as she fished it out of her right pocket.

            Jim sat completely still as Pam leaned into him, crossing the imaginary barrier that separated his space from hers.  Her shoulder brushed gently against his right arm and Jim felt himself lean ever so slightly into her, rejoicing in the unexpected contact.  Pam pulled out her phone, “Oh shoot,” she said, “I completely forgot my landlord is coming over at 3 today to fix my kitchen light.  It’s 2:45 right now.”

            “I can give you a ride home.” Jim said,

            “Thanks but I have my car.”

            “Ok, um, well, what should I do now then?”

            “Well, you should bring the samples home with you and try to figure out which ones look best in each space.”

            “Ok.” Jim said looking confused as he quickly scooped up the samples before him.  “How do I do that?”

            “You don’t know much about painting do you?” she asked, standing up and straightening out her shirt.  Without thinking, she stuck her hand out to Jim, offering to help him up off the floor.

            Surprised, Jim reached out to hold her tiny hand.  He took it gently in his and stared at their clasped hands, united in the air, fitting together perfectly and couldn’t help but smile a little.

            Pam pulled up on his arm as he stood up stiffly, and reluctantly dropped her hand as he gained his balance.

            Jim stood straightening out the samples as Pam bent to pick up her purse.  “Ok.  Well, I have to go home now, where do you live?”

            “Where do I live?”

            “Yes.  Where.  Do.  You.  Live?”  Pam asked, smiling.

            “On Cherry Street, why?”

            “Cherry?  Ok, well I live on Randall.  How about you give me a ride to my house so I can meet my super, and then we can run to your house and get these colors picked out and then can you drop me off back here at my car?”

            “Um, yeah, sure.  Ok, that sounds good.  Did you have plans today though?  I mean, if you’re busy …”
            “Jim, no, it’s ok, I’m not busy.”

            “Ok, that sounds good then.”

            Jim clicked his car unlocked as they walked out of the store. 

            “Looks like you got a fancy new car too,” Pam commented, buckling her seatbelt.

            “Yeah, it was about time to put the Corolla to sleep.  I kind of miss her though.” He said, glancing at Pam as he spoke.

            He put the car in reverse and turned in his seat to look through the back window.  As he did so, he placed his right hand on the corner of Pam’s seat, his fingers just barely grazing her shoulder.  He backed out quickly from the parking space and put the car in drive.  “Where to Ms. Beesly?” he asked as he returned his hand to the steering wheel.

            Pam gave him directions to her apartment and a few minutes later they pulled into a space at the back of her complex.  Pam unbuckled her seatbelt, “Do you want come up?” she asked.

            “Ok, sure, if it’s ok.”

            “Yeah, it’s fine.” She said getting out of the car.

            They walked in silence up the three flights of stairs to Pam’s apartment.  Jim stood patiently behind her as she pulled her keys out and unlocked the door.

            Pam opened the door and stepped inside, sliding off her shoes and dropping her purse on a small table near the wall.  Jim followed her in, closing the door behind him.  He slipped out of the old pair of running shoes he was wearing and followed her into the apartment.  Down a small hall from the door was the small living room.  In the center of it was a large sage green couch draped with a thick dark green afghan and several throw pillows.  A coffee table sat in front of it with a scattering of newspapers and magazines and a large floor lamp and end table sat at one end.  There was also a large bookcase sitting against a wall that was filled with what looked like art books.  The dining area was just off of the living room and from what Jim could see, had been converted into a makeshift art studio. 

            “Have a seat,” Pam said, motioning to the couch.

            Jim walked slowly to the couch and sat down, “Wow, this is a nice couch.” he said as be leaned back into the soft cushions.

            “Thanks, we got it, I mean, Roy and I got it two years ago.  But he let me take it.  I picked it out.”

            “That’s cool.” Jim said.

            “Do you want something to drink?” Pam asked, as she hurriedly picked up the blue paint that had spilled on the floor earlier that afternoon.

            “No thanks, that’s ok.” he said, “Did you have a little accident?” he said, watching her.

            “Yeah, actually when my cell phone rang this afternoon, it startled me and I knocked over my jar of paint.” She explained.

            “Oh, was that when I called?” Jim sounded concerned.

            “Yeah.  But it’s ok, don’t worry about it.”

            “Sorry Pam.” Jim said as he got up and kneeled down next to Pam on the floor, “Here let me help you clean it up.”

            “No, that’s ok, don’t worry about it, really, you can just go sit down, my super should be here any minute and then we can go.”

            “Ok.” Jim said straightening up and looking at the picture Pam had been working on when the blue explosion occurred.  “Wow, Pam. This is really good.” He said, staring at the half-finished canvas in front of him.  It was the beginnings of a landscape.  The view was looking out over a lake in what looked like the early morning.  The painting was mostly blues and greens with a hint of yellow and orange in the sunrise.

            Pam stood up, “Oh, thanks, but you don’t have to say that.”

            “No.” Jim said and turned to face Pam.  He bent his knees slightly and looked into her eyes, “Pam.  You are really talented.  Seriously, this is really good.”

            Pam looked back into Jim’s eyes and felt her heart flutter at the warmth and sincerity she saw there.

            “Thanks” she said shyly, looking down at her feet.  “Um, are you sure you don’t want something to drink?”  She asked as she walked into the kitchen.

            Jim followed her, “Well, what do you have?” he asked.

            Pam gestured to the refrigerator as she washed her hands in the sink, “Take a look, you can have whatever you want.”

            Jim opened the refrigerator and peered inside.  The shelves were scattered with vegetables, yogurt, Chinese takeout containers and several unidentifiable Tupperware containers.  Jim’s drink choices appeared to be skim milk, cranberry juice, bottled water, a few cans of Coke and a six pack of grape soda, with one can missing.

            “Do you drink grape soda now Beesly?” he asked, smiling at her.

            She looked over her shoulder, “Oh, no.  I mean, yeah, well, I don’t know.”

            “Ok.” Jim said and laughed as he grabbed a bottle of water from the top shelf.  He closed the refrigerator and leaned against the counter next to the sink.  Unscrewing the cap to the water, he took a look around the small kitchen.  The two walls above the sink and cupboards were painted a deep red.  “Wow, so I guess this is what a red kitchen looks like, huh?” he asked.

            “Oh, yeah.” Pam said as she turned off the water and stood drying her hands with a red dishtowel.  “This is it.”

            “Hmm, well, I like it.” Jim said as he turned his head taking in the whole room.  He stopped when he noticed a small teal teapot sitting on the back right hand burner of the stove.  He felt a pang in his chest as he remembered the Christmas party and the excitement he felt when Pam had chosen his teapot over the ipod.  He stared at the small ceramic piece, lost in thought.  Pam followed his eyes, “Jim, I …” Just then the doorbell rang, giving them both a start.  Jim looked down at his water and took another drink as Pam walked to the door, greeting her landlord cheerily in the hallway.

            Jim sat down his water on the counter and walked back into the living room, “Can I use your bathroom?” he asked Pam after she had informed the super of what was wrong with her light.

            “Sure, it’s the last door at the end of the hallway.” She said, gesturing to her left.

            Jim walked slowly in the direction she pointed, breathing in the happy smell of Pam’s apartment.  Smells like apple pie in here. He thought and smiled, that is just how he had always imagined it would.  There were only two doors in the hallway, both of which were open.  As he walked by the first, he peeked discreetly into what appeared to be Pam’s bedroom.  It was a simple room, painted a lovely shade of blue, to match the navy blue comforter on the neatly made bed.  A small stuffed monkey sat in its center.

              Jim kept walking toward the end of the hall, flipping on the light in the small bathroom as he stepped inside.  The room was painted a pale yellow color.  Jim shut the door quietly behind him and leaned back against the counter.  He looked around the tiny room, smiling at the small touches Pam had added to it, the fresh flowers on the counter, the detailed border of daisies along the top of the wall near the ceiling that Jim was sure she painted on by hand. 

               A small closet was on the wall opposite him.  He paused for a second before slowly leaning forward and pulling open the door.  He couldn’t help but smile to himself at the large stack of yellow towels that were neatly folded inside.

Pam nervously played with her hair as she stood in the doorway to her kitchen blankly watching her landlord as he worked to fix her kitchen light.  She turned suddenly when she heard the bathroom door open and watched as Jim made his way down the hallway and into the living room. 

He had on a pair of loose fitting blue jeans and a dark blue hooded sweatshirt that looked like it might have been washed a thousand times or more.  She’d never seen him wear a hoodie before and thought that she liked the way it looked on him.  His hair was a little messier than it was on workdays and she wondered to herself if he actually took the time to style it during the week.  The thought made her smile.

            “Whatcha thinking about Beesly?” Jim asked with a smile to match hers.

            “Oh, nothing,” she paused for a second, debating if she should really tell him or not, “well, actually, I was just wondering if you do anything extra to your hair when you go to work or if it just goes that way naturally.”

            “My hair?” Jim asked, bringing a hand to the back of his head, “Why Beesly, do you honestly think it could look like this on it’s own?”

            Pam smiled.

            “Look at this hair, Beesly.  Seriously, look at it,” he bent forward, displaying his head of hair for her, “this takes work, notice the shine, that doesn’t just happen by itself!  It takes work!  It takes conditioner!”

            “It’s very nice, Jim.” Pam said, still smiling.

            “Touch it, go ahead, feel it, its silky smooth … like silk.” Jim said with a laugh as he shook his head in front of her, “Go ahead, feel it.”

            “Silky smooth like silk?  That’s ok.” she said, then added quietly, “I remember.”

            Jim stopped shaking his head.  Did he hear her right?  She remembers?

            Pam swallowed hard, trying to quickly think of something else to say, hoping he didn’t hear her last thought.

            Jim straightened up and stood facing her, his eyes searching her face for something, anything that might tell him what is going on inside her head.  “What do you me….”

            “Alright Pam, she’s all fixed,” the landlord interrupted as he walked out of the kitchen and toward the door, the folded up ladder under his arm.

            Pam spun around quickly; “Thanks!” she said a little too loudly, “I really appreciate you coming over here, Matt.”

            “No problem Pam, you two have a good night now.” He said as he closed the door behind him.

            Pam clasped her hands together in front of her and turned around to face Jim, “Ready to go?” she asked cheerily, trying to hide the awkwardness she felt inside.

            Jim paused a second before nodding his head slowly, “Yup, lead on Beesly, I’m ready to pick out some paint.”

            Pam let out a sigh of relief when Jim didn’t press her on her comment and walked to the door, slipping her shoes on and grabbing her purse.  Jim followed suit and a few minutes later they were back in his car. 

            No one spoke as Jim made his way back out to the highway and after a few moments, Jim turned the radio to the local oldies station and they rode rest of the way in heavy silence, both pretending to listen to the music.  Jim’s house was about eight miles away from Pam’s, and though it seemed like forever, the drive only took about ten minutes.

            Pam hadn’t yet been to Jim’s new house, and was excited to see it as they walked up the sidewalk to the front door.  Jim pulled out his keys and quickly unlocked the door, stepping aside to let Pam enter first.