Jim was at his desk, working hard (or hardly working? It was hard to tell some days), when an alert popped up that he had a new email. From Karen. Jim caught himself before he groaned, he knew Karen was looking at him; he just wanted to ignore her right now – okay, always.

            you want to do dinner tonight? my place i’ll cook and then maybe a movie and a little dessert?

            How could Jim reply to that? Say, “No thanks, I would rather be off in dreamland, imagining myself with another woman who has made it pretty clear she doesn’t want me, but I find it impossible to get over her?” He knew that wasn’t going to help. It would just invite more long, sleepless nights of talking. Dammit. Karen seemed so desperate to make this relationship work. He was sure any normal woman would have long since left his pathetic ass, quit, and moved back to Stamford. But not Karen. She was like a Pam Patch, trying to wean him off of Pam slowly. Jim had news for her – it wasn’t working.

            can’t. already made plans. mark and i are going to hang out and play his new wii. just a good guys night in.

            Okay, so that wasn’t a total lie. He did have plans; they just didn’t involve Mark or playing video games. But hopefully she would buy that, and with the last sentence, not invite herself along.

            Jim looked up, and watched Karen’s face fall when she read the email. She looked over at Jim, sad and curious, as if not quite wanting to believe that he was ditching her for a video game. Jim just shrugged, and went back to work.

            The rest of the day, Jim just tried to avoid looking at Karen. When lunch rolled around, he pointed to the stack of papers on his desk, and said he was just going to eat at his desk and work through lunch. “Damn, what is it going to take to drive this woman away?” he thought. She glared at him as she left to eat lunch in the kitchen.

            Karen ate lunch in silence in the kitchen. Of course, no one really noticed her silence, since Kelly was in there chattering about some celebrity or another. Karen actually laughed when she noticed that Ryan had an earbud in, and was nodding along to the music, not to whatever Kelly was talking about. Good to know she wasn’t in the only dysfunctional relationship in that office. What was up with Jim? She had long since given up on thinking about why he could even be attracted to someone like Pam. Pam was meek and mousy. In her head, Karen had taken to referring to her as M&M. Once she had accidentally mumbled it out loud, and had to quickly recover by saying something about Kevin.

            Karen had always thought, and it had been repeatedly proved, that she was basically every guy’s dream. She was smart, beautiful, and exotic looking. She loved video games, was competitive, and liked action movies more than chick flicks. She was always the one that ended relationships. But with Jim, it was different. She had to find a new plan of attack. “Gah! Stop it Karen, stop thinking of dating Jim as an attack.” She liked him, and didn’t want to lose him. She was really working on this relationship, something he didn’t seem to want to do. Hanging out with Mark, shesh. He knew that she had wanted to try out the new Wii, but with her salary, she just couldn’t afford it. He had been hanging out with Mark a lot recently. It seemed like nearly every couple of days he was seeing Mark. It was practically like they were roommates again. Couldn’t she come over just once and play video games, hang out like one of the guys? “Apparently not.” Karen sighed as she got up and threw away her trash.

            Jim spent the rest of the afternoon acting like he was working. He had actually gotten a lot of work done in the morning. “Hum, avoidance as a good working strategy. I am on to something…” thought Jim. Now he was just clicking around on his computer, trying to act busy, and waste time. Thankfully, Michael had decided that everyone needed a morale booster, and had brought in a mint chocolate chip ice cream cake around 3, and after that, the afternoon was a waste. He tried to be the polite boyfriend around Karen, but it was near impossible. She didn’t seem to be in the mood to talk either – “Probably pissed about Mark.”

            Jim slipped out after four, mumbling a quick goodbye and apology to Karen. She just glared and asked him to call her later that night.

Jim walked out into the parking lot. He needed to leave early. Just being at work was hard enough, with Pam being so close – yet so far – and with Karen watching his every move. At least when he was pretending to work, he had an easy out. But the forced socializations were awful. It reminds him of summer camp. Plenty of activities, but you had to participate no matter what. His friends and he had called it ‘mandatory fun.’ Mandatory it was, fun rarely.

            However, leaving work an hour early meant he had time to kill. Just long enough to do something, but to short to do anything worthwhile. Jim climbed into his car, and just started driving. He didn’t know where he was going, but he would know it when he got there.

            Karen sulked for the rest of the day. She was already angry and upset at Jim, but he didn’t seem to care – he had just left early. She glared at Pam, who was chatting with Phyllis and Kelly. Even after working there for nearly four months, she still didn’t really feel connected with anyone in the office. Not that she wanted to, god knows. But, it would be nice to have someone to talk to, especially when Jim was acting like this. When she first arrived, she thought that maybe Pam could be that someone. She was about her age, and reasonably normal. But then, it started coming out - Jim’s feelings for her, their kiss, all that history. She wasn’t able to confide in Pam now.

            When five o’clock rolled around, most people had already left; it was just Dwight, Michael, Toby, and Karen. Karen accepted that this night was just going to suck, and decided to go home, drink a lot of wine, and sleep it all off. “The perfect solution – alcohol and unconsciousness”.  By the time she reached her house, she had another idea. Mark’s place wasn’t that far away, she had been there once or twice. Grab a six-pack, get her game face on, and just show up. What’s the worst that could happen? “He hates you for coming when he specifically told you not to? He dumps you? You prove you are better at him at yet another video game?”

            Stupid or not, Karen decides to try. Their relationship couldn’t really get any worse, could it? Grabbing the beer from her fridge (it wasn’t the brand she likes, but Jim preferred it), she gets back in her car and drives the two miles to Mark’s house. “Come on Filippelli, just do it,” Karen says, giving herself a pep talk on her way to ring the doorbell.

            “Uh, Karen? Right?” Mark asks, looking confused and tired when he answers the door.

            “Yeah, is Jim here yet? I know he said it was just the two of you, but I figured I had wanted to try out the new Wii, and I brought beer, so I figured I could join you. You guys will probably beat the crap outta me, since you have been practicing so much, but it could be fun.”

            “Um, Jim isn’t here. I haven’t seen him for a while now, and I don’t have the Wii. I don’t even really play video games.”

            “Oh…” Karen isn’t sure how to reply. Jim was lying to her. For how long, about what? Why? Her? Karen walks back to her car, unsure what to do.

Karen continued driving the next two blocks, but as she got close, she could already tell Jim wasn’t there. His car was nowhere to be seen.

“Shit!” she said, just pissed at the whole situation. He was lying to her, avoiding her, hiding from her, and who knows what else. She didn’t want to admit the possibility that he was cheating on her with Pam. He was too much of a nice guy for that, right? Maybe he was…. Nope, her mind kept going back to Pam. “Shit Shit Shit!”

Karen drove back to her house, and in her mind, decided that wine just wasn’t going to cut it – vodka it is. Lots and lots of vodka.

Jim found himself driving back to his old neighborhood. So many memories of his childhood just came flooding back.

the old train tracks, mostly abandoned, but still a rare train came along every once in a while. the train whistle was always comforting to jim. it reminded him he was safe. once, his friend and him had been walking along the tracks, not really paying attention to anything in particular, just talking. it had been a long day at school, and they were complaining about life. being a teenager is rough, you know. suddenly, john had the sense to look back, and there was a train bearing down on them. they heard the whistle that time. it scared the crap out of them. they jumped off the track and ran.

the lake, half hidden behind soccer field and playgrounds. it was nearly two miles back from the main road, a long windy path. it was a huge lake. it had only frozen once in jim’s memory. he remembered tossing rocks on it, seeing how far it would go. the few ducks in the winter, only able to move in the small, unfrozen area in the middle. the most fun however, was walking around the lake. it was a hidden, dark forest area. there was rarely anyone else around, quite often, jim would be there alone. it was a great place to think, to relax. whenever jim was stressed out, he would go there.

the old, rickety playground, used really only by high schoolers. parents were too scared that the old equipment was unsafe. it was a meeting ground after school. if you got there fast, you could score one of the swings. it was a place to complain about school and being adults (as much as you could feel adult while still in school), and try to go back to when you were little kids, and life was carefree.

the little graveyard, just two blocks down from the elementary school. it was fenced in, the plot of land taken from someone’s yard. it held the remains of the fred family. jim used to make up stories about them when he was little. they lived during the civil war. jim and his friends would always make up battle scenes. jim was always henry fred, the most courageous of the fighters.

Jim pulled over into an empty parking lot and parked. He still had two hours before his class. He pulled out his camera and started walking.

Jim walked around. For being a Thursday afternoon, it was surprisingly quiet around town. He could hear the cars off in the distance, but this area was silent.

Clicking his camera without really paying attention to what he was shooting, Jim thought about what brought him here. He had never really been into photography before; he most definitely didn’t like having his picture taken. But, a few weeks ago, he was shopping, trying to find a good present for Karen, to appease her for … well, who cares what for. Anyway, he was shopping, and he came across this camera. It was insanely expensive, a few hundred dollars, especially since he didn’t really know anything about photography. But it caught his interest.

He had wound up buying some cheap earrings for Karen, which had helped the situation temporarily, but the camera still occupied his thoughts. Two days later, when the camera was still on his mind, he decided to go for it. Apparently, his subconscious wanted him to buy that camera, and he was in no mood to argue.

It took a few nights to figure everything out. After spending the day at work and then the evening with Karen, Jim would be up until the early hours of the morning figuring out how the lens worked and what aperture meant.

Up until right now, most of his photography was at night, or at least evening. This was the first time he was able to photograph in the bright mid afternoon sun – or at least the setting sun.

The first shot, Jim knew didn’t turn out the way he wanted. It was of a random bike rider. Jim wished he had gotten it focused a bit quicker, but it would have to do. It would have been better if the bike rider weren’t nearly disappearing behind the tree. Live and learn.

Jim really enjoyed photography. It let out a creative side of him that he didn’t know existed. Sure he had proven it in creative pranks, but this, this was different. It was artistic. He liked to think of it as a common bond with Pam, imagining showing her his photographs while she showed him her paintings. A famous art duo they would be. Travel the world and the seven seas.

As Jim walked to the lake, he passed a tree. Some of the flowers had already bloomed, but most were still unopened, just a symbol of the beauty that would awaken. Jim found one bud that just seemed to have an inherent beauty. Maybe not as obvious as those that had already flowered, but still beautiful, just waiting to get noticed. Its tip was just opening, with the promise of beauty when in the right hands.

The lake was exactly how he remembered it, sheer nature. He felt like running around, climbing trees and just being a kid again. He stopped short however, when he noticed ducks sitting on a log near the shore. He laughs, remembering the Duck Crossing sign he had passed.

Glancing at his watch, he knew it was almost time to go. The sun was setting, and he only had thirty minutes to get back to Scranton. “Just a few more shots, then I will leave.”

He found a secluded piece of the lake, one that was nearly hidden by vines and branches. The setting sun was reflected in the water, broken up by small ripples and shadows. After that shot, Jim turned his camera skyward. It looked like it could possibly storm, the clouds gray and heavy with rain.

As he walked back to his car, the darkness of night quickly took over. It went from still being bright to nearly pitch black.

“Last shot of the night, this is a perfect shot,” he thought, as he saw a small bench alone in a field.

Jim packed up his camera and drove to Scranton Community Center where he was taking a photography class.

            “Thank god! Made it in time,” Jim thought, as he pulled into the parking lot five minutes early. It was closer than he would have liked, but the photography session that afternoon was worth it.

            Jim hurried into the building, carrying his camera. He was hoping he could stay after class a bit and develop the pictures he had taken. He was so lost in thought that he ran into his instructor.

            “Oh, crap, sorry Nick. I didn’t see you.”

            “Jim, its good to see you. Have you been working with exposures?” Nick asked.

            “Yeah, a bit. Its hard trying to find times though.”

            “Ah, but its worth it when you get it though.”

            From down the hall, a voice called out, “Nick! I need to ask you about something.”

            Both Nick and Jim turned to the voice.

            “Crap!” Jim thought.

            The shock on her face was apparent as well. “What is he doing here?”

            Pam had just finished her drawing class. It had gone well, Pam could tell she was making improvements every day. Today was a tough assignment; draw an object without using lines. Pam had chosen a leaf, it had seemed like an easy enough choice. Once she started drawing however, it turned difficult. How can you draw without using lines? She spent the night shading and smudging and trying to get it right. At the end, it resembled a leaf, and that was a start. She was going to work on it more during the week (mostly at work, it wasn’t as if she had anything to do there), and it would be turned in next class.

            As she was leaving, she noticed Nick standing in the hall, talking to someone. She needed to ask him about the experimental medium class he was teaching. Pam really wanted to take it, but it overlapped a bit with a watercolors course she also was interested in taking. Hopefully, she could be a bit late to the one class, or leave the other early. These classes were taking up so much of her time, but she loved every second. Besides, it wasn’t as if she had an exciting life that she was missing out on.

            “Nick! I need to ask you about something!” she called out.

            “Wha? What is he doing here? Talking to Nick?” Pam was shocked as she saw the faces turned towards her.

            “Oh, Pam. Hey.” Nick said, not noticing the shock and discomfort on their faces. “What can I do for you?”

            “Um… um…. Oh, the experimental mediums class…” Pam fumbled around for the right words.

            “Yeah, are you interested? I think you would really enjoy it, you did a great collage last year.”

            “Oh yeah. I am. Its just that…” Pam kept looking at Jim, trying to figure out what he was doing there. “Well, its just that I also want to take the watercolors class, and they overlap by like 10 minutes, so, is that going to be okay if some days I am late?”

            “Oh sure. Who’s leading that? Krista, right? We can work something out,” Nick replied. Noticing the glances going on between Pam and Jim, “Oh, Pam, this is Jim. Jim, Pam. Actually, know what. You two both deal with really different mediums, but your styles are similar. I think you could do a really cool project, sort of combining your passions.”

            “Oh, um, I don’t know…” Jim broke eye contact with Pam and was busy studying his shoes. “Oh, crap, that lace is loose. Oh yeah, that’s what I should be concentrating on. A loose shoelace.”

            “Um… yeah, I mean…” Pam stared at anything that wasn’t Jim. “Interesting texture on that wall, hum, maybe I could use that. Great. Distract myself.”

            “Do you two know each other or something?” Nick asked, picking up on the tension that was surrounding them.

“Do you two know each other or something?” Nick asked, picking up on the tension that was surrounding them.

            “Um, yeah, we work together,” Pam explained. If you can call it that.

            “Yeah, buts it’s like a big office,” Jim said. But I spend 8 hours a day just a few feet from her.

            “Yeah, I mean, we don’t talk a lot really.” But, god, I wish we did. I miss that.

            Ouch. We talk… right? “I knew Pam was interested in art though… never thought I would run into her here though.” Okay, maybe on some level I hoped I would.

            “Yeah, I mean, I talked about it some. But Jim had never mentioned his interest before.” What type of art? I mean, never once in the four years I have known him.

            “I mean, I just got started… I didn’t really want to tell anyone about it yet, I mean, Pam is just a co-worker.” Ouch. She isn’t just a coworker. It’s Karen I didn’t want to tell. What have I gotten myself into?

            Just a co-worker? “Oh yeah, I can understand that. I mean, it took me a while to share anything when I was starting out.” Expect for with you. I could tell you anything. Could. Not can.

            Nick glanced back and forth between Pam and Jim. He wasn’t a part of the conversation anymore – he realized he never was. He didn’t know what had happened between the two of them, but he figured, there was more to the conversation than what was being said. He slipped out, and went to his class. He figured Jim would join in when he was ready. This conversation was more important than the class.

            “Yeah, some things should just remain private,” Jim explained Like the fact that I love you. Then we wouldn’t be in this hellhole we are in right now.

            “Exactly. I mean, co-workers are just that. It’s not like we’re family,” Pam replied. Even though I imagine living the rest of my life with you.

             “I know. Its just, combining personal stuff and work, it just doesn’t work.” But we could make it work. Screw it. She isn’t interested.

            “Yeah. I mean, think of how messy that would be.” It would be worth all the mess in the world if I could be with you.

            “It’s better this – “ Jim suddenly pauses. “Nick? Oh crap, I guess I am late… um, bye Pam.” Jim rushed off down the hall, his face flushed. What the hell did I just do?

POSSIBLE HORRIBLE NEWS:

I have a malicious ghost on my computer I named Fluffon. Well, it turns out earlier today, he turned off my computer while I was working, and now it won't turn on again. So, this means no computer access for a while, and a bunch of lost chapters for this fic.

I am really hoping its a bad dream and when I return to my room, it will all be happy and healthy again. But I wanted to warn people, because I tend to have a pessimistic side when it comes to computers, and also, because, well, Fluffon has proved himself a very malicious ghost.

I have a few more chapters that are recoverable, and that my betas have, so its a start. But, right now, I am just hoping.

Will update this with either a new chapter or more bad news when i know it.

            Jim didn’t pay attention during class; he kept reviewing the conversation he had had with Pam. They don’t really talk? Just a co-worker? Messy relationships? What had they said? More importantly, why was he so flustered about the whole thing?

            Jim left the building quickly after class. He had to get home. He had to think. He wanted to analyze every thought, every word from that conversation. Why hadn’t he mentioned it to Pam? He had always thought of it bringing them closer together, but it sure wouldn’t happen if he didn’t tell her. Was he afraid that it would get back to Karen? Crap! Karen… he was supposed to call her tonight. It wasn’t that late yet. He was supposed to be over at Mark’s, so he could easily call her at eleven, and just make up some stuff.

            Jim realized he had to tell Karen the truth soon. Eventually, she was going to wise up that he wasn’t spending all his time at Mark’s. Why hadn’t he wanted to tell Karen about it in the first place? Now that was a thought that could keep him awake for hours. He wasn’t exactly sure. Maybe it was just because he considered it a private thing. Maybe because it was a connection to Pam. Just, he had never wanted to mention it. He hid that part of is life from her. Eventually though, Jim would have to ‘fess up… or break up.

            Pam watched as Jim hurried off. What had happened? Jim was interested in art? Nick worked with a lot of classes, so that wasn’t a help. Pam went to the office. They had a complete schedule of classes, so she could at least figure it out from there.

            She ran her finger down the sheet, trying to find the class. “Introduction to Photography…” she murmured. Ah, so he is taking a photography class. That … that explains nothing.

            Pam had hoped that the class name would be a dead give away. Something that would make everything click. She was glad to know the class, but what did it all mean. Pam stared at the class schedule for a few more minutes, hoping it would give her the answer. She sighed, and walked away.

            Jim spent the next few hours trying to keep his mind off of Pam, off of Karen, and off of photography. It was stupid of me to buy that camera. All it’s doing is fucking up everything.

            It was almost ten o’clock when his phone rang. Karen. Jim sighed, he knew he had to face her, he had promised her a call. She was just making sure he followed up on his promise – something that he hadn’t been very good at the past few weeks.

            “Hey, babe. I’m just leaving Mark’s now.”

            Drunkenly, Karen replies, “Oh Jim. Mark is soooooooo nice. You should buy him a Wii. Wheeeeeeeeeeee!” Karen giggles at herself. “It sounds like a fun game. Wheeeeeeee!”

            “Karen! Are you drunk?”

            “Yeah, vodka tastes goooooooood. Do you like vodka?”

            Karen never drank vodka; Jim had no idea why she was like this. “Karen, why are you drinking vodka?”

            “Well… see, I went to Mark’s.” Karen giggles, and continues. “There was beer. Mark said he didn’t know you. See you. He didn’t see you. I was angry.” Another giggling fit from Karen. “So, I decided to drink vodka. It tastes good. Would you like some, ‘im?”

            Jim hung up on Karen soon after that. How in the world… Karen was drunk off her ass, and knew that Jim was lying. Okay, she still didn’t know about what, but it wasn’t a good start.

            “Maybe she will be so hung over she will forget about this in the morning…” Jim hoped.

            Jim got to work early the next day, hoping to catch Pam alone, and tell her not to mention last night. When he got to the office, however, Pam wasn’t at her desk. Sighing, he sat down.

            “Hm…” There was a package on Jim’s desk. It wasn’t there when Jim left yesterday, but then again, he had left early. Opening it carefully, he knew instantly who it was from. He looked around, and noticed movement in the break room. Putting roll of film on his desk, he walked back to the break room.

            After last night, Pam didn’t know what to think. She wasn’t even sure if she should act like last night even happened. It was obvious Jim didn’t want her to know; obviously they weren’t as close as she thought. Still, the fact that Jim was taking photography classes wouldn’t leave her mind. She dug around in some boxes she had stored, and found what she was looking for. An old roll of film. She had switched to digital a last year, and this roll was never used. Maybe it would be a nice icebreaker.

            She went to the office extremely early. She was usually always one of the first ones there, but today, she needed to be the first. And it gives me time to take it back, she thought, doubt still lingering whether it was the right thing to do. After she places the envelope on his desk, she went to the break room. She didn’t want to be around when he opened the package. For nearly fifteen minutes, she stayed in the break room. She tried to draw, but wasn’t able to concentrate. Then, she heard the door open.

            “Hey…” Jim said, hesitantly.

            “Hey.” Pam replied. She had no idea what to say. He had seen the film, right?

            “Thanks for the film… I’m using a lot of it these days.” Why does this not feel natural? It’s just Pam.

            “Yeah, I figured. I mean, photography, that’s neat.”

            “I’m enjoying it…” Jim lets that thought linger. “Um, I guess I better get back to my desk… that paper doesn’t sell itself.” Okay, that was officially pathetic.

            Karen arrived close to ten. Jim spent the entire morning wondering about her – should he call? Okay, he knew he should have called, she was probably very hung over and sick. Jim feared the anger. If she had any memory of going to Mark’s, it was going to be messy.

            Karen walked in, and very deliberately avoided Jim. Yep, messy indeed. She walked straight into the break room, and Jim cautiously followed.

            The door hadn’t even closed when Karen started. “Where the hell where you last night?”

“Where the hell where you last night?”

Okay, crap, so, she remembers Mark’s… “Karen, not now.” Anything to give me more time to think of an excuse.

“Yes now! Where were you? Where you with her?” Karen says the last word with such disgust, it physically hurts Jim.

“No! I…”

“Where were you? You have been lying for weeks now. Mark says he hasn’t seen you in a while, you are always avoiding me; it has to stop. Where were you?”

Okay, note to self, always tell your alibi that they are your alibi. “I was… it’s private, okay. I don’t want to talk about it here.”

“Jim! We’ve been dating for months now. I have been putting myself into this relationship, while you have just been… there. Not even always that. I thought we finally reached an area where we could at least trust each other –”

“And we can!”

“No, Jim. Apparently you can’t. Why else would you not tell me where you have been going after work?”

‘It’s complicated!”

“Complicated because of her?”

“No! It has nothing to do with Pam!”

By this point, their voices were raised enough that everyone outside could hear the conversation. Pam had looked up, surprised at the mention of her name. Dwight looked like he was ready to pounce, should it escalate. Most others were just staring at the scene before them.

“Well, explain it to me, because right now, you are just a fucking son of a bitch!”

“Karen! I told you, it’s personal! I don’t want to explain it here.”

“Too bad, because if you don’t start explaining in five seconds, I am walking out of that door and leaving. And we’re through Halpert.”

“Karen! I mean, please. I will explain it all, tonight. Promise. Not here.”

“No! I am sick and tired of excuses and lies. I’ve tried to make this relationship work. I liked you Jim. I think I could have even loved you. But I can’t keep standing by, while you lie, hide facts, and don’t try at this. But most importantly, I can’t stand by when you are really in love with someone else.” The anger drains for Karen’s voice and her voice starts breaking. A lone tear runs down her cheek. “I’m leaving Jim. I will be back at the end of the day to fill out the paperwork. Don’t be here.”

“Karen.” Jim moves closer to try to comfort her, but she walks out of the room. What was he supposed to say? It was all true, as much as he didn’t want to admit it. He had tried to love Karen, but he couldn’t. He was helpless. Unrequited love. What a bitch.

After Karen left, Jim stayed in the break room for nearly ten minutes. Everyone left him alone and returned to work. They didn’t know what to say, and Jim didn’t know how to act. It was the most public break-up he had ever had, and he wasn’t exactly happy about having to face it.

            After about ten minutes, Jim heard the door creak open.

            “Hey,” Pam said quietly.

            “So, I guess everyone heard that?” Jim asked, already knowing the answer.

            “Um.” Pam decided against lying. “Yeah, most of it at least.”

            “Great,” Jim sighed. “Any chance I can go out there and pretend it didn’t happen?”

            “Well, Michael overheard it, so I think he is planning on taking you to Hooters soon.”

            “God, Michael. Could this day get any worse?”

            “Well, Dwight could lecture you about relationships. Because, you know, he is such an expert on them.”

            “Thanks, now I am really looking forward to going out there.”

            Jim survived lunch at Hooters and managed to ignore Dwight’s lectures on how you treat a woman. Then he left early for the second day in a row, although this time, in a much more somber mood.

            Jim didn’t really feel like taking photographs this afternoon. He didn’t feel like doing anything. He knew it had to end with Karen. He knew that, but it didn’t make it any easier. And it had been so public – people were staring and whispering all day. Worse yet, the whispers often involved Pam. They started putting two and two together – Jim’s crush, Pam’s ended engagement, Jim breaking up with Karen. It was bad enough to hear it, but Jim wanted to protect Pam from the whispers. It was just like high school.

            Pam had heard her name being thrown around when Jim and Karen were arguing. She couldn’t help being glad that they were fighting and breaking up. Even if she and Jim were never going to happen, Karen still took away her best friend.

            When Karen left, looking broken and angry, Pam had looked into the break room. Jim was standing there, in shock at everything that had happened. Pam hadn’t been able to hear the last few minutes of conversation. Karen’s voice had died from a scream to a mere whisper at the end. She didn’t know if she should go into the room with Jim or wait. After ten minutes (the longest ten minutes of her life), she decided to take a chance. After all, that’s what friends do – they comfort each other.

            The rest of the day, people were quiet. Somehow, the spectacle of the fight that morning made everyone be on their best behavior. Even Michael and Dwight were normal. Every once in a while though, Pam overheard whispers. About Jim, about Karen, and about her. To listen to those conversations, one would think Jim and Pam had been having an affair for years now, and Roy and Karen had found out about it, and that is why the subsequent break ups had occurred. I wish we had had an affair. I wish I could spend every day of my life with him. It would make all this childish whispering alright.

            My god, what happened to me? Karen wondered as she left the building. That had not happened like she had planned. She had thought it would be a rational discussion. Why did I say I could have loved him? That was just stupid.

            For the rest of the day Karen made plans. She didn’t really know what to do next. Should she stay in Scranton – she still had nearly 10 months left on her lease. But then again, it was so close to Jim. She couldn’t stand to be that close after what he had done. All her family and friends were still back in Stamford. But moving again… “Gah, why isn’t life simple!” Karen exclaimed in frustration.

            Karen made list after list, weighing pros and cons and everything in between, just trying to get a handle on her life right now. At the end, she was out of paper and more confused than ever. This had never happened before. She knew where she wanted to go and how to get there, but Jim had turned her life upside down. What she knew was no longer known and it scared her.

            At about four, Karen sent a quick email to Toby. She asked if he would be willing to stay past five so she could fill out the paper work without Michael there. She couldn’t deal with Michael today. On a good day, Michael was bearable, but today, he would be in rare form.

            After she got a response from Toby, saying that he would wait, Karen puttered around the house. By the time she left for the office, her house was as organized as it had ever been – expect for the stacks of paper scattered around her table.

            The office was nearly empty when Karen arrived. Angela was finishing up some work, and gave Karen a disapproving look when she entered. Karen crossed her fingers, hoping Kelly had left for the day, and then went back to the annex.

            Thankfully, Toby was there alone, and had the paperwork all ready for Karen.

            “Rough day?”

            Karen could only nod in response. The process was relatively silent; Karen was not in the mood to talk. Toby only explained the forms when needed.

            After Karen signed the final form, Toby asked, “What’re you planning on doing now?”

            “I have no idea.”

            Karen had thought that maybe once she signed the papers, it would feel releasing, that suddenly, it would all be clear and she knew what she needed to do. Instead, she felt even more lost. She hadn’t made friends in Scranton really, she didn’t have a job and she just broke up with her boyfriend. Life was spiraling out of control, and she had no way to stop it.

            Stamford. That was the only option. She would move back to Stamford and pretend the past year hadn’t existed. Maybe even forget Dunder-Mifflin entirely. Sure, she would be starting over back in Stamford, but her friends and family where there. It was the right decision.

            Karen’s last action of the day was to gather up Jim’s stuff from her house. It wasn’t a lot – Jim had never really seemed to want to leave anything there and had never encouraged her to leave stuff at his house (Now it all makes sense). It was just a toothbrush, some deodorant, and other things like that. Karen even stuck the beer from last night into the box, sighing as she did so. Last night seemed so long ago.

            Karen drove the box to Jim’s, dropped it on the stoop, rang the doorbell, and left. She heard the door open; looking back, she gave a quick wave to Jim, and drove back to her house.

            Jim looked down at his feet, noticing the box there. There was a scribbled note on top.

            Jim – I realize now that we could have never become what I wanted us to be. Not saying I forgive you, but I understand. I’m moving back to Stamford, which is probably the best for both of us. Maybe if we run into each other on the street, years from now, we can say hello, maybe catch up. But for now, it is what it is. If you ever get together with Pam, don’t screw her over like you did me.

            Jim walked back into his house, and sat the box down. There wasn’t much in it. He reread the note over and over, feeling guilty about the way he treated her. She was right – no one deserves to be treated that way. He hadn’t meant to. This whole year had just been a train wreck. Everything from the Casino Night confession, Stamford, Karen, even last night at the community center. Huge train wreck. All it did was manage to screw with everyone Jim cared about, and make his heart a broken mess. Not exactly one of my finest moments.

            Right before bed, Jim checked his emails.

            “Spam. Spam. Spam. Useless spam catcher.” Then an email caught his eye.

            Jim, I figure I would at least ask. I could tell something happened between you and Pam, and it wasn’t exactly over. But, it’s worth a shot. I meant what I said about you and Pam having similar styles. If you also enroll in the experimental mediums class Pam was talking about, I think you could do a really cool collaboration, combining your strengths and styles. Think about it. The class meets MW at 7 – starts next week.

-Nick

            Jim knew he wouldn’t be sleeping now. Did Pam get the same email? Was she interested? Was he? It was everything he had wanted since he bought the camera but was he just putting himself back to a year ago, starting up with friendship, never being able to have more? His heart wasn’t ready for that.

            Jim spent the night tossing and turning, trying to decide. He kept fighting the desire to enroll. Ever since he came back to Scranton, he had promised himself he wouldn’t get back in that position. But working with Pam? It was too much to resist. Besides, she had been acting different, possibly jealous, or maybe that was just his imagination at work.

            At 3 a.m., Jim got up, turned on his computer, and replied to Nick.

            i’m in.

            Pam checked her email obsessively. When she wasn’t painting, it was almost all she did. She knew it was pathetic; she hardly ever got email. It gave her something to do. She would be on her computer anyways, mostly trying to improve her graphic design skills. She wasn’t used to working on the computer very much, she liked to feel the paper.

            Pam. Today I put two and two together. You drew him constantly. I didn’t connect it until I saw the two of you together. I just emailed Jim, asking if he wanted to be in the experimental mediums class. Maybe you two could work together on a project. I meant what I said – you two have a complimentary style, and maybe, the project won’t be the only thing that happens. :) – Nick.

Pam was a bit shocked by the email, but excitement quickly took over. She hadn’t realized how obvious she had been with her art. It started with simple sketches on her papers – his face, his hands, his eyes, his smile.

            Last year, the class’s final project was a collage. Pam had included most of those sketches plus pictures of other things that reminded her of Jim – an iPod, teapot, fireworks. It was her favorite piece. Pam kept it in her bedroom and looked at it whenever she was feeling lonely, which was more often than she liked to admit.

Pam could hardly wait until Monday evening. The weekend dragged slowly on. The thought of taking an art class with Jim… well, she could hardly believe it. And Jim was single again. Pam couldn’t help but feel amazing.

            She had resisted the urge to call Jim all weekend. She specifically spent time on her appearance that morning, taking time to put loose curls in her hair, more make up than usual. It was everything she had been neglecting for the past few months, ever since she first thought there wasn’t a chance with Jim. But now there was.

            Jim had the best night of sleep of his life after he sent the email. Working with Pam? Amazing. All the doubts he had about it disappeared once he hit send.

            Jim spent the weekend working with his camera. He wanted to make sure he was as good as possible before working with Pam. He wasn’t going to screw this opportunity up.

            Jim woke up early on Monday, nervous about what the day would hold. He couldn’t believe he had to sit through eight hours of work, and then two more hours before the class started. But then, for an hour and a half, he would be in the same room as Pam, both doing what they love. He couldn’t wait.

            During work, they tiptoed around each other, neither sure if the other wanted them to bring up the class, the possible project, and most important, the fact that they were both single.

            Jim was more like his old self than he had been in the past – he even got up to eat a few jellybeans during the day. They chatted about topical things such as Sudoku times, how annoying Dwight was, nothing too in depth. It was a start.

            Pam left work quickly, to get to her watercolor class. She had originally planned on staying for the full watercolor class, and arriving to the experimental mediums class late, but now, she figured it would be the other way around. As much as she enjoyed watercolors, she didn’t want to miss out on any second she could be spending with Jim.

The experimental mediums class fascinated Jim – he never realized there was so much to learn. Art was just photography for him. He knew slight manipulation techniques, but that was all. But there was so much than the point and shoot version Jim knew. His mind was racing with all the possibilities.

            Pam loved hearing about everything that they were going to learn in the class. She had only done a bit of experimenting before, mostly in her collage. Most of what she did was with generic paper. For this class, however, it didn’t matter what utensil you used, it was the medium involved. Pam could see the possibilities in front of her.

            After the class ended, Jim and Pam both nervously stayed back, neither speaking, but both wanting to. After a few minutes of silence, Jim laughed. “Wow, so, um, fancy seeing you here.”

            Pam smiled, the old Jim was back. “I should say the same. How come you didn’t tell me about this newfound interest in art?”

            Sighing, Jim replied, “I don’t really know. I guess I wanted something that was mine. But something convinced me it was better when you share.”

            “Yeah, it is.” The smile lit up Pam’s face. “So what did you think of the class?”

            By now, they had started walking out to the parking lot. “I didn’t realize there was so much more to learn. So many techniques and… stuff.” Jim couldn’t think of a more artistic term besides stuff.

            “Yeah, it boggles the mind. I’m excited though.”

            “Totally. And, I don’t know if…” Jim hesitates, “I don’t know if you are interested, but I was thinking about what Nick said Thursday,”

            “I would be.” Pam knew what he was going to ask. She resisted the urge to start that night. Give it time. He just broke up with Karen.

            “Hey, Beesly.” Pam looked up, surprised. He hadn’t called her Beesly in months. “Talk to you tomorrow.”

Pam showed up for work nearly an hour early. She couldn’t wait to see Jim and with able to talk with him, and be friends again. And maybe more than that, she thought, remembering their conversation from nearly a year ago.

Jim showed up for work early; he smiled when he saw Pam already there. He had broken up with Karen, and already, it was returning to the before days – before Casino Night, before his confession, before Karen. “So, Pam, I was thinking that Dwight’s bobbleheads are a little hot.”

Pam smiles, but looks confused.

“Think Iceman.” Jim holds up a Tupperware container filled with water. “Let’s go.”

They grab Dwight’s bobbleheads from his desk, and go into the kitchen. They carefully put one in each Tupperware, and stick them in the freezer. “Now we have to hope they freeze fast enough so I can get my Tupperware back.”

Pam cranks up the freezer temperature, “That should help.”

They walk out of the kitchen. “Uh, Jim?” Pam stops short.

“Yeah?”

“I’ve missed this.”

“Yeah, me too,” Jim replies, smiling.

Later, they went back to the freezer. Each bobblehead was incased in ice, and was easily removed from the Tupperware. “So, should we leave them in the freezer, or put the blocks on his desk?”

“Wow, Pam, I like the way you think. Desk. Totally.”

Giggling, Pam grabbed two of the blocks and went out to Dwight’s desk. Thankfully, they were still alone in the office. A few people had arrived, but were in the break room, and didn’t see what Pam and Jim were doing. “Cold, cold, cold,” Pam exclaims, rubbing her hands together to try to get them warm again.

“Hurry Beesly, we still have more bobbleheads to get out here.” Jim places the two he was carrying on the desk. They hurry back to the kitchen to get the last few, and place them on the desk. Both of their hands were freezing now. They sat down at their desks and pretended to work.

When Dwight arrived a few minutes later, before he even sat down, he noticed the bobbleheads. “Dammit Jim!”

Pam and Jim turned to each other and smiled. Yep, things were looking good.

At lunchtime, they sat together in the break room for the first time in months. They caught up on everything that had happened since Jim left (carefully avoiding talk of why Jim left). Then they talked about art and the possible project.

“So, um,” Pam starts to say, not really sure how to phrase it.

“Exactly. How do we start?” Jim knows what she is going for.

He always knows what I am thinking. “Well, usually, when I do joint projects, I think its best to sort of, um, see the other person in their element, how they work, and stuff like that.”

“So, like, I watch you draw, and you watch me take pictures?”

“Yeah. Except right now, I’m really into watercolors, not just drawing.”

“Awesome. So, maybe after work, I could stop by your place, see how you work?”

“Sure.” Pam smiles – this was going better than she thought. “And I could make dinner. Unless that would be too weird.” She adds the last bit on quickly. She doesn’t want to seem too forward.

“No, sounds great.”

Technically, I have a class tonight, but, this; this is worth skipping it for. “Okay, see you around 6:30?”

“I’ll be there.”

Pam excitedly got ready for the evening. She refreshed her makeup (and then washed it all off, because it seemed to0 fake), brushed her hair out, and started dinner. It was just pasta, but Pam hoped that it was the balance between casual and romantic she was hoping for.

            After the water started boiling, Pam tried to clean up her apartment. She had paints, charcoals, and drawings all over the place. She quickly gathered all the drawings of Jim and put them in a drawer. As much as she wanted to tell Jim, she didn’t want to come off as a scary stalker or something. She ran upstairs and hid the collage under her bed. Not so creepy anymore, she thought, as she surveyed the organized mess that was her apartment. When she lived with Roy, she kept their apartment very clean and organized. Now that she lived on her own, she could keep it how she liked, no keeping up appearances. This apartment was her.

            Jim watched as Pam quickly left the office right at five. He was glad he wasn’t the only one who was excited about that night.

            He went back to his place, wondering if he should bring anything. Wine? His camera? Some photos he has taken? He settled on just the wine. Tonight was about seeing Pam and how Pam worked. Besides, if they split it up, it could mean two nights of seeing Pam.

            Jim arrived at Pam’s house a few minutes before 6:30. He wiped his palms on his jeans, and walked up to her door. Before he even rang the doorbell, Pam opened it.

            “Hey. I heard the car door…” Pam realized she sounded a bit too eager, and let the sentence die.

            “Yeah, cool. Um, I brought some wine,” Jim held out the bottle.

            “Great! You wanna come in?” Pam took the bottle and moved aside so Jim could come in.

            Jim walked in, and looked around. “So, I guess this is where you work?”

            “Yeah, it’s kind of messy, I know, but I guess I like having everything out.”

            “Nah, I mean, its cool. That way you can see everything. Organized mess.”

            Pam smiled. He thinks the same way I do. “Exactly. So, I guess, yeah, I mean, I normally just sit at the table,” she says, hanging him a glass of wine, “and draw, paint, whatever. Right now I’m working on a project for another class.” She shows him the drawing of the leaf without lines, “Its harder than it looks. We aren’t allowed to use lines, just shading and stuff like that.”

            “Wow, I don’t think I would even know where to start.”

            “Yeah, I spent like an hour trying to start, but once you get it, it just flows.”

            “Awesome. Wow, you did all these?” Jim starts flipping through the papers that were laying on the table.

            “Yeah,” Pam’s cheek’s flush.

            “These are awesome, Beesly. You’ve got talent. I mean, I’ve always known that, but, seriously.”

            “Thanks,” Pam’s smile lights up her face. “Um, so, dinner will be ready in like 30 minutes, so I guess we can do stuff until then.”

            “Lead the way.”

            Pam nervously explains how she normally works. “Well, normally I just, sit here and work. Nothing really exciting I guess. I mean, the light is really good here, and it’s comfortable.”

            Pam shows Jim all of her supplies, explaining the purpose of each of them, and how she uses them.

            Soon, the over timer dings, and they break for dinner.

            “It’s just pasta. Hope that’s okay.”

            “Well, I mean, it’s probably not as good as my grilled cheese, but I guess it will have to do.”

            After they sat down to eat, Pam asked, “So, tell me about how you work. More importantly, when did this start?”

            “Well, only a few weeks ago. I saw a camera and it stuck in my mind, so, I bought it.”

            “And, um, didn’t tell Karen?” Pam didn’t know why she was bring it up, but felt she needed to know.

            Jim sighed, “Yeah, probably not the best thing to do. I just felt it was private.”

            “Oh.” Pam looked away, embarrassed. I wonder if I should even ask anymore. Private explains a lot.

            “Don’t worry, I don’t mind sharing with you. It’s… special.” Jim tried to find the right word to describe how it felt. “Anyways, yeah, it was just that. I bought the camera, started taking classes, and that’s how I got here.”

            “Awesome. I mean, art just sort of finds you, I guess.”

            “Yep.”

            The rest of dinner is light conversation interspersed throughout the eating. After Jim left, he couldn’t wipe the smile off of his face.

The next day was Wednesday, and Pam and Jim had their class again. They made plans to meet up afterwards so she could see him in action.

Pam was more excited than she could imagine. Last night had been amazing, and tonight held even more promise. It wasn’t dinner, but it was at night, outside, and photography. It seemed so romantic in Pam’s mind.

“Got your walking shoes on?” Jim asked Pam as they left the class. Pam shows off her tennis shoes. “Wow, not the Keds. I’m impressed.”

“I do own other shoes, silly. So where are we going?”

“Lake Scranton.”

“Seriously?”

“You think I’m joking?”

“No, just, Lake Scranton? I’ve been there before, but I never thought of it as an artistic spot.”

“Ah, you just haven’t looked right then. Like, I mean, look. Right now.”

The sun was just setting, and the clouds were stretched across the horizon. The colors were amazing – from bright orange to deep blue.

“Wow…” was all Pam could say.

Jim drove to Lake Scranton and parked in his favorite spot. It was away from the main “touristy” area of the lake, along a deserted side road.

“Is this even a parking space?” Pam asked. It seemed as if they just parked in an abandoned alleyway.

“It works as one. Besides, I’ve been here a few times, and no one has complained. Now let’s get walking, Beesly.”

Jim led the way through the forest surrounding the lake. As he walked, he explained how he worked.

“I just try to notice the beauty in nature. It’s so pure. I mean, it sounds cheesy, I know. But, look at that tree. Notice all those branches sticking out, and all those little bugs flying around.” Jim notices Pam shuddering at the thought of bugs. “Don’t worry, they don’t bite or anything. But, really, I just think that is such a cool little scene.”

They walked in silence for most of the night, Jim taking pictures, Pam just watching him. She loved this side of him (well, I love all of him, she admitted to herself). He was so quiet and passionate.

“Wow…” Jim stopped short, staring at the sky.

“What?” Pam asked, looking up. She saw the moon, but she didn’t think there was anything that special about it.

“Come back here,” Jim said. Pam couldn’t tell what difference a few feet would make, but she obeyed. “Now, look up, through the trees.” Pam looked and saw. The moon was shining through the branches. She couldn’t describe how amazing it looked.

Jim kept fiddling with his camera, trying to find the best settings. He wanted to hurry, he didn’t want the moment to change before he got the shot. Finally, he found some that worked – letting enough light in that you could see the branches and the moon.

As they walked back out to Jim’s car, Pam felt his hand close around hers. It just felt right.

Right before they got there, Jim let go. He took one last photograph – of her. “I couldn’t leave without taking a picture of the most beautiful thing I saw.”

            The next few weeks were much of the same. They pulled pranks at worked, laughed, and were friends. They spent much of their evenings together, working with pictures Jim shot, and trying different developing techniques, overlaying drawings on top of them, anything to make a unique effect.

            They didn’t official say they were a couple, just best friends. They went out for dinner, watched movies, and spent most of their time together. Although they both wanted to, they hadn’t kissed – both were too nervous of possible misinterpretations of friendship.

            One night, Pam decided it was time to tell the truth. It had been nearly a year since Jim had first admitted his feelings, and Pam needed to do it this time. She ran upstairs to her bedroom and pulled the collage out from under her bed where it had remained for the past few weeks. She put it back up in its place of honor on her wall.

            When the doorbell rang, she was nearly sick with worry. She answered the door, but before Jim had a chance to speak, she told him. “I have to show you something.” She didn’t say anything else, just led him to her bedroom. Then he saw it. The collage.

            He recognized it all immediately. Much of it was him – his eyes, his smile, his face. Even in the other pictures, he knew it was him – an iPod, a teapot, even a Boggle timer. He knew now that it had never been a misinterpretation – she loved him too.

            “Pam…” He turned to face her.

            “Jim, I didn’t know what happened. I thought I was doing the right thing when I said I would marry Roy. But, after you left, and the date got closer and closer, I found myself sketching you. You were what I was excited about, not Roy. I don’t know why I didn’t call you right then. It was probably the stupidest thing I have ever done. And then you came back with Karen... Even when you broke up, I didn’t want to get my hopes up. Then, spending these last few weeks with you, I realized I had to do something. I couldn’t spend the rest of my life without you in it. Jim, I love you.” Pam’s voice was breaking near the end, a few tears running down her face.

            Jim was shocked – he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He had wanted to hear that for years, he thought he was dreaming. He pulled Pam into his arms, trying to comfort her.

            “Pam, I never stopped loving you. I was so hurt when you didn’t call. When I decided to come back, I was only dating Karen to protect myself. I couldn’t stand to see you happy without me, to know that even though you weren’t with Roy, you still weren’t mine. I didn’t know how I would make it if I had to face that reality every day. I didn’t want to even get close, I didn’t want those feelings to come back.”

            “We were both pretty stupid weren’t we?” Pam mumbled into Jim’s chest.

            Jim cupped Pam’s face in his hands and wiped away the tears. “No, what is stupid is me not kissing you right now.”

            The next moments were heaven for both of them. Everything they had wanted for so long was put into that kiss. Breathless, they finally broke apart. “I love you, Jim.”

            “I love you, Pam.”

“Damn, Beesly! You have way too much stuff.” Jim sat the last box on top the coffee table.

“Speak for yourself. I know I carried in at least 5 boxes for you.”

It had been only a few months since that night, but Pam and Jim had quickly decided that they should get a place together. They spent all their time together anyways, it was cheaper just paying one rent.

Their class had ended, but both were taking other classes. Pam had fallen in love with experimental mediums and was currently in a class that dealt with varying textures. Jim had dabbled in a few other art forms, but kept going back to photography. When they bought the new house, Pam had surprised Jim by giving him a darkroom of his own. Now he would be able to develop pictures and test new methods without having to stay after class.

“So what should be the first thing we do in our new place?” Jim asked.

“Well, I say light a fire, relax on the couch, and who knows,” Pam says suggestively. “But first, we have to unpack one thing.” Pam pulls out their art project.

It had taken nearly a month to complete. It was the biggest undertaking either one of them had done. It had drawings, paintings, pictures, sketches, even some items glued on, making it 3D. The theme was Journey, and it showed everything that they could think of, items that symbolized their journey together. Sketches of Jim, the photograph that Jim took of Pam that one night, petals from the first flowers that Jim gave Pam, a napkin from the restaurant of their first real date, all overlayed and overlapped each other. On top was written the lyrics to ‘My Everything,” which they both thought described their relationship pretty well.

Jim took the picture frame from her, and set it on the mantle. “It deserves a place of honor.” Jim lit the fire, and they cuddled up on the couch.

“Love ya.”

“Love ya, too.”

They never got tired of saying that.