Summary: Five different scenarios in which our man finds out Pam is pregnant.These are five separate scenarios that I pictured, not one linear storyline. Some will be cheesier than others, but that's what makes life good, isn't it?
Many thanks to edo518 for the beta!
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
1. One by McGigi
2. Two by McGigi
3. Three by McGigi
4. Four by McGigi
5. Five by McGigi
Jim pulls up to work one chilly morning and winces when the cold air hits his tender cheek. It throbs when he looks at the warehouse door, and he replays the incident of several days before, when Roy presented him with this black eye.
Now Roy was gone, but his acts lingered, his legacy physically on Jim's face and intangibly in the air. Jim couldn't even be a bit relieved that Roy had been let go; it had been so shaming for Roy and for Pam, and even for himself. Now things were rockier than ever with Karen, and he can't blame her for being wary of practically anything.
He shoulders his bag and is about to go inside when he sees Pam's little blue car parked in a far corner. He knows her well enough to know that this is unusual. He looks again and sees a figure slumped over the steering wheel. His heart thuds and he breaks into a cold sweat as he runs the few yards over to her.
She looks up as he stops at her door, and she's got tears streaking down her face and he's never seen her look so defeated. He opens her door and crouches down, and she crumples. "What's wrong?" he asks, and it seems like she can barely get the words out. "Ph-phyllis's wedd- I'm pregnant," she sobs, and falls into his shoulder.
He hugs her shaking body and feels his heart ache for her. This is the biggest remnant of Roy, a cluster of cells, and he has no idea what Pam will do, or should do. There's a lump in his throat as he tells her, "I'm here, I'll help you get through this." and he feels selfish but so sad, because he knows no matter what happens, hearts will be broken.
Jim is back in Scranton, visiting his parents, taking a few days off to be with his dad during the surgery. While visiting the hospital, he takes a break and goes down to the massive cafeteria to get some lunch and to bring his mom some coffee.
He pauses to open the door for a few people and is startled to hear, "Jim?" He turns, and Pam is standing in front of him. "Pam. Hi!" he says, surprised, "How are you?"
She smiles that quick, nervous smile that he had known so well. "Oh, yeah, I'm good. You?"
"I'm good."
She nods. "That's good. And how's..."
"Emily? She's great. How's..."
"Oh, Rick? Rick is good. He just got a promotion at Sterling."
Jim nods. "Sounds great. Promotions are great," he says, and mentally kicks himself. Why is this so difficult?
Pam smiles and nods, "They are nice" and pauses before continuing, "So, um, do you have kids?"
For the first time, he looks into her eyes for more than just a second, and sees wistfulness? Sadness? Regret?
"Yeah, actually, I have a son, Ben. He's two," says Jim, and at that moment, although the mother of his child isn't always who he imagined it would be, he's very proud of his boy.
"Oh, named after your dad?" asks Pam, smiling more genuinely, which sends a tiny surge of anger through Jim. How dare she remember the tiny details of his life when she isn't a part of it any more? Then he feels remorseful, and he smiles slightly when he answers, "Yeah, we named him after my dad. Uh, that's actually why I'm here. My dad's having surgery today."
Her eyes widen in shock, and she looks so sad when she answers, "Oh, my gosh! I hope it's not major!" and he feels that tiny shock of anger again because she cares so much.
"No, it's angioplasty, and I guess it's pretty routine. Still scary, though," he replies, and he watches as she nods, and her hand reaches out slightly, as though ready to touch his arm and comfort him, the way she used to. He can't have this; he can't unfold old feelings that are buried within him. He adores his wife beyond words, but there's a part of him that still wonders what could have happened with this woman in front of him. He has to talk about something else.
"So what about you? Kids?" he asks. Pam smiles again, proudly. "Three, " she says, "Logan is six, Mary is three, and Robert is eighteen months."
Jim is surprised. "Wow, three? I had you pegged as a two-kid person," he says, because one day long ago, they had shared a sweet conversation on the subject, delicately dancing around the fact that both wanted two kids, ignoring the implications, because that's what they did back then.
"Yeah, I guess I always thought I'd have just two, but now I can't imagine life without my Robbie," she says and her eyes almost sparkle. Jim can imagine what a beautiful child he must be, if this is his mother. The Pam's smile falters so minutely that Jim wonders if he is imagining things. "And I'm actually...I'm pregnant," she says, smoothing her coat down, and he can see her softly rounded belly beneath it, and he feels a strange sadness because there was a time where he couldn't get this image out of his head, for all it promised of the future.
But then she smiles again so happily, and runs her hand over her stomach. "It's a girl, we just found out. Mary is so excited and she keeps asking when Baby Phoebe is coming over."
Jim laughs, but then looks at Pam again, and the part of him that wishes he could just erase a decade and go back in time scares him, so he holds up the coffee and says, "I guess I need to get back upstairs."
She looks startled. "Oh, yeah, my appointment is in a few minutes, too," she says, flustered.
Jim smiles at her. "It was really nice to see you, Pam, and congratulations on the baby," he says.
"Yeah, it's really good to see you too," she replies, and after one last glance, they part ways. As he moves down the hall, he hears her voice again calling, "Bye Jim!" and he turns to wave one last time.
He bends down to whisper in her ear, "If it's a boy, we should name him Peter, and if it's a girl, Petra." Her eyes are closed, but she smiles and says, "Shut up. I hate you," in his favorite tone, which means the exact opposite of that, and he's glad she's smiling because he knows how scared she is.
He had told her in the car, "Third time's the charm, Pam" and her retort was, "Well, three strikes and we're out," which was so unlike her, but he felt the same anxiety. They can't afford this again, fiscally or emotionally. He knows she's just being cautious, she won't allow herself to think about it yet. She has grieved twice before this, when it simply didn't work, and three times before that, before they even knew they had a problem, when she thought she might be pregnant and it turned out to be nothing. He sits next to the table she's laying on, his head close to hers. He strokes her hair gently, noticing the familiar feelings of guilt well up because he's the reason they are there. Her eggs might be released erratically, but his sperm refuse to swim at all.She knows him too well because she says, "It'll be okay if it doesn't work. We'll be fine, we can look into other things, and we've been a family for seven years already," and though he needs to hear it, he knows she's hoping for something else. This is the same pep talk she's given him both times before, and a part of him wishes she wouldn't say anything, because her being nice is acknowledging that she is trying to make him feel better, because it's his fault. She had only blamed him once, in the heat of an argument, and then had fallen to tears in apology, but Jim will never forget how angry she had sounded.
He kisses her cheek gently, and she smiles, reaching up to touch his cheek, as Dr. Shaw and a nurse come back into the room.
"I'm sorry about that," Dr. Shaw says, moving the flimsy sheet off of Pam. Jim can see her smooth, white stomach and winces slightly when the doctor squeezes the gel onto it. So does Pam, who gasps, "Ooh, it's cold!" the same way she does every time.
Even though he knows gel can't possibly hurt, Jim looks away, not wanting to see her recoil. He looks at the bulletin board of smiling baby faces and hates it. He just wants one little round face, just like all the others here- why do other families get one and not he and Pam, who want it more than anything?
He turns away from those mocking babies and watches as the nurse helps position the ultrasound machine so they can all see it. Dr. Shaw runs her wand over Pam's abdomen, and Jim sees shadows flit across the screen. She moves the wand over a little more, and Jim can see a black expanse, a little cave. He breaks his gaze from the screen and looks at Pam. She's looking back at him, and he reaches for her hand to squeeze.
Dr. Shaw breaks out into a huge smile, and Jim's heart thumps. Pam looks scared, and they squeeze hands again.
"Pam, Jim, it looks like three of the embryos have taken and are nice and firm on the uterine wall!" she says, and though she's calm, Jim can hear the excitement in her voice, and feels a lump in his throat as he realizes what she is saying. Pam bursts into tears, and though Jim knows they're not out of the woods yet, that some of the embryos might be reabsorbed, all he can think of is that right now, he and Pam have created three tiny lives.
Dr. Shaw and the nurse step out into the hallway, but Jim barely registers this. He has eyes only for the three miniscule blobs on the screen, and for Pam, who is sliding her arms around his neck. "Jim," she sobs, "I'm pregnant!"
"I know," he whispers into her hair, "We're going to have a baby."
"Or two or three," she sniffles, and he can feel her laugh.
"I told you three’s the charm," he pulls back and smiles at her through his own haze. She sobs again and pulls him back into the hug. She whispers, "They just needed to take their time. They just needed a little push, like we did, “and he tightens his grip around her, knowing that his world will never be the same.
My entire knowledge of in vitro fertilization is gleaned from lots of Discovery Health, so take it with a grain of salt. I apologize if I'm way off with any of it!
Jim comes home from work one chilly afternoon and tosses his overcoat and bag onto a chair in the living room. It's very quiet in the house, but he knows Pam is home because her car is nice and snug in the garage next to his. He takes the stairs two at a time, loosening his tie and untucking his shirt, very excited to change into jeans and a sweatshirt.
He finds Pam in their bedroom, laying on the bed, still in her work clothes. Jim's knees creak slightly as he kicks off his shoes and dives onto the bed next to her. "Hello, pretty lady," he says, kissing her loudly. She gives him a tired, quiet smile. "Hey," she says softly.
He leans up on one elbow, looking at her. He can tell something isn't quite right with her, he's usually good at recognizing her expressions and tone, and something is just a little off. "What's going on? Where are the kids?"
Pam's eyes are closed. "Patrick is at Drew's house, and Janie's at Girl Scouts, and I swear to God, if she even throws another fit about that horrible outfit she wants, I'm going to lock her in her room and she's going to have to climb down her hair to escape," she spouts, getting louder and sitting up, "I'm sorry if I don't want my ten year old dressed like a hooker!"
Jim sits up at this diatribe, and looks at her. "I thought the teenage moody stuff isn't supposed to happen to her for a few more years," Pam says, sighing ruefully and laying down once more, turning onto her stomach.
"Well, I don't know either. Maybe I should call your mom?" he asks, smiling a little.
"Don't. She'll just remind you that I was the exact same way at that age," she says, her voice muffled by a pillow. Jim laughs a little and rubs her back. "What's going on with you, are you feeling okay?" he asks.
Her voice is still dimmed by the pillow. "I've been so unbelievably tired lately, and I feel so bloaty and my boobs feel insane," she says.
"They feel fine to me," Jim says in his wickedest voice, which usually makes her laugh. Today though, she turns to face him, and her face crumples. His laugh dies in his throat as he watches tears start to drip out of her eyes.
"I'm pregnant."
He stares at her, slowly comprehending what she is saying, as a growing knot tightens in his stomach. "What?" he asks, hoping he hadn't heard her correctly and knowing that he did.
" Jim."
He continues to look at her. "How?" he asks in a low voice, wishing the knot would go away.
Pam's tears have stopped flowing now, and she glares at him. "The usual way," she says, "Think about how crazy the past few months have been with my dad's heart attack and Pat's eighth grade camp and all of the other stuff, and tell me there were times when we weren't careful."
Jim finds his voice again. "But the pill and the condoms," he says confusedly, and she starts to cry again.
"I know! I'm sorry, Jim, I didn't mean for this to happen!" she sobs, and now he can move, so he puts his arms around her.
"I know you didn't, I didn't either," he says to her, and she squeezes him.
She pulls back and looks at him. He can see the crow's feet around her eyes and the greying hair at her temples, but at this moment, she looks very young, the way she did when she was forced to choose which path her life was going to take.
"We're OLD, Jim! I thought we were past the baby stuff!" she cries, and he 's convinced they were past it too, but now things have changed.
"I thought so too, but I guess we can do it again," he says, trying to smile, "We love babies."
Pam smiles sadly and then looks startled. "Oh my gosh, what are the kids going to say? They're going to freak out, I know it. How can we disrupt their lives like this?" she says, a few tears dripping from her cheeks. Jim looks at her and says," It's our life, not theirs, and they'll have to be okay with it."
"Can we really do this again?" she asks quietly, looking back at him," Can we start over, after we've raised two already? I mean, Patrick is starting high school next year, and Jane's almost in middle school. Can we add a baby to that and do it all over again? Can we do the feedings and the diapers and the potty training again?"
Jim looks down. "I don't think it'll be easy, but I think we still remember how, and I think we'll be better at it this time," he says.
"I hope so," says Pam, "Remember how many times we had to change the sheets because Pat peed the bed? Remember when Janie was a toddler and she'd just start screaming in the grocery store?'
"That feels like it just happened, " says Jim," and now Pat won't let me take him anywhere unless it's just to drop him off, and Janie wants streetwalker clothes like her friends, and they're so old!"
Pam scoots up the bed to the headboard and motions for Jim to follow. He lays his head on her chest and she runs her fingers through his hair. He can hear her voice rumbling when she speaks. "Yeah, but Pat still lets you kiss him goodnight, and Janie still likes to watch movies in your lap," she says, and he smiles a real smile.
"Won't it be fun to have someone crawl into our bed at 6 am on Saturdays and stare at us until we wake up?" he asks, and she laughs. "As much fun as it'll be to explain exactly what it is those two squirrels are doing outside, remember that?"
Jim laughs out loud at the recollection, but then the tiny thought that had been feeling its way through his mind pushes through, and before he can stop himself, he's choking up and silent. Pam notices immediately, because she always does, the way she has for over sixteen years. "What's wrong?" she whispers into his hair, and her concern makes him want to cry even more.
"This sounds so horrible, but what if we don't love it as much? What if it doesn't fit in with us?What if we've lived too much of our lives with our other kids?" he asks, and feels some of the pressure from his chest loosen.
'Well," says Pam slowly, "I feel the same way, but then I remember how we felt before Jane was born, we thought we could never love anyone as much as we loved Patrick. But now, I can't imagine life without her. I hope it'll be the same way. "
Jim is relieved at her admission and hugs her tightly. "But we're old, Pam, we'll be past sixty when it turns twenty. Is that fair to a kid?"
Pam looks uncomfortable for a moment. "I don't know. I guess you'll just have to be really careful not to break a hip when you're playing basketball," she says, and finally, he can laugh again.
She fingers his lapel and says dreamily, "Remember when Patrick was little and you said something about having to go buy a new monkey suit, and you came home with this suit and he cried because he thought you were buying a monkey costume?"
Jim laughs and wipes a few lingering tears away. "And remember when Janie saw you with a pudding cup and asked for her very own little can of pudding? She was what, three?" asks Jim.
Pam laughs, "Yeah, three. I brought it up to her recently, and she flipped out and thought I was making fun of her."
She is quiet again. Jim sits up and puts his arms around her. "We get to start all over again, just think of what we can do," he says, and Pam pulls him in tight.
One hand of his rests on her belly, and she whispers in his ear, "I think this is going to be the best thing that's happened to us" and he knows she is right.
You want fluff? I'll give you fluff.
***
Jim awakes from a deep sleep sometime around six a.m. It's still dark outside, but his alarm is buzzing. He notices immediately that the bed isn't as warm as usual, and reaches out for Pam, who usually radiates so much heat. She's not in bed, which is strange, because she loves sleep more than almost anything. It's almost impossible to get out of bed in the mornings because it's so cozy to snuggle under the covers, and they've both been late to work more than once because of this.
All of this spins through Jim's mind as he blearily tries to wake up. He drags himself out of bed and it's chilly, which makes it even worse. He wakes up a bit more as he leaves the bedroom and wanders into the living room, rubbing his eyes. He finds Pam in the living room, curled on the couch with an afghan. Her cheeks are flushed, even though it's cold, and she breaks into a smile when she sees him. "Happy birthday!" she says happily, and he remembers that it is indeed his birthday.
He's thirty two today, and absolutely does not feel it. Sure, he and Pam have done some very grown up things recently, like the whole getting married thing and putting an offer on a house thing. And sometimes when he's wearing a suit and discussing the prices of bulk cardstock he feels like an adult, but mostly, he feels the same as he ever has. When he was younger, he thought being an adult would feel different somehow, but it hasn't.
He crosses over to Pam and sinks down next to her, kissing her with his mouth tightly close so as not to offend her with his horrible morning breath. She hugs him and tucks the afghan around him.
"Are you excited about work today?" she asks, and he grins. Michael is so bad at playing innocent that Jim knows very well that around one p.m., a surprise party will be held for him in the conference room.
"Very much so. I can't wait to see the cake," he says, remembering the Happy Birthday Kim cake that Pam herself had altered with a little masterful icing manipulation, to read Happy Birthday Jim.
She smiles and he remembers that she has been out here for awhile. "Why are you up so early?" he asks, looking at her. She turns pinker and looks down at her lap. "I was just having a moment with myself, thinking about your present," she says quietly. "Ooh, nice! When do I get it?" he asks, giving her a charming smile.
"You'll have to wait a bit, but you'll love it," she says and then falls serious. She meets his eyes and asks, "Jim, what do you want more than anything right now?" and her voice seems full of meaning, but he can't figure that out.
"A Wii Neo," he answers truthfully, because it's so much cooler than the first generation Wii, and he had been so close to camping out for one. He wouldn't put it past Pam to have gotten one on the sly; she knows how much he wants one.
Apparently, this answer annoys her, because she glares at him and climbs out from under the afghan. "All right, birthday boy, you'll just have to wait," she says and stalks off to the bathroom. He's confused, and then thinks why that might have been the wrong answer. "Hey Pam? I also want us to get the house!" he calls after her, not too loudly, so he won't wake the neighbors. Pam doesn't answer; she's already in the shower.
He drops the subject (wisely, he thinks) and makes breakfast instead, as a peace offering of sorts. Pam grins and thanks him when she walks into the kitchen, toweling her hair, and they sit down together at the tiny table to eat their eggs and toast. Pam eats a few bites of eggs and then pushes her plate away. "Not hungry?" he asks, clearing both plates. "Nah, I don't feel like eggs today," she says, "I'm going to dry my hair."
He follows her into the bathroom and does a silly striptease while she's drying her hair, and she laughs at him, but it's a misty laugh, and as he steps into the shower, he wonders what on earth is going on in her head.
They make it to work without incident. In the car, Pam reaches over and takes his hand, which he likes. He squeezes her hand and she smiles again, but she seems distracted.
She giggles as they walk through the door at Dunder Mifflin, because Michael is leaning against Jim's desk in what could only be a carefully planned casual pose.
"Morning, Jimothy. Nice day, huh?" he asks, and Jim smiles and nods. Humoring Michael is the easiest option, because he seems to forget that he pulls the exact routine with every person in the office on his or her birthday, with the exception of Toby and possibly himself.
"Yeah, it's chilly, but a nice, normal day," he says, and Michael grins. Phyllis walks by and calls out, "Happy birthday, Jim!" and Michael glares at her. He sighs and turns to Pam to tell her, "Pam, the ...thing... is in the kitchen, if you want to see it."
Jim tries not to smile too widely as Pam pretends to look confused. "What thing?" she asks, and Michael looks exasperated. "The...thing...you know.." he says, and motions blowing out candles. "The wind thing?" Pam asks, and Michael waves a hand at her. "Just go in there and look," he says.
Pam heads to the kitchen and Jim settles in his chair. He's got a lot of e-mails to answer and orders to confirm, and it's the same old routine. He's absorbed in his work, and everything goes like clockwork until he realizes Pam hasn't returned from the kitchen. He is puzzling over this when she opens the door and beckons him to come into the kitchen. He's slightly weirded out by the look on her face. She looks like she's about to laugh and cry at the same time, and he's not sure why.
He follows her through the kitchen, through the back office and into the break room. By the time she pulls the door closed behind her, she really is crying. She might be smiling nervously, but tears are leaking from her eyes, and now he really has no idea what's going on.
He steps closer to her and asks, "What's wrong? What's going on?" and she laughs and wipes her eyes. "I wanted to give you your birthday present now," she says and motions toward the bakery box on the table. He opens it and looks at the cake inside.
Happy Baby, Jim! it reads messily in blue icing that she's rearranged, and his stomach twists as he looks up at her. She's smiling bigger than he's ever seen, and he's trying to comprehend what it means.
"Jim, I'm pregnant," she says in a wavery voice, and the words hit him and suddenly he's choked up and she's in his arms, sobbing and tears are falling from his own eyes. He pulls back from her, and she's laughing and now he's laughing from shock.
"We're having a baby!" she says gleefully, and he hugs her again. "I love you," he says into her neck, because it's the only thing he can think of to say.
"I am so in love with you it's not even funny!" she says, and pulls away. She's a mess, tears and hair everywhere, and he feels much the same, and as if she's reading his mind, she takes his hand and pulls him out of the room.
"Toby, Jim and I need a little while to talk," she calls out, leading Jim toward the back exit stairs, and Toby looks confused, but nods.
They're shivering in the car before either of them says anything else. "I can't believe it," he croaks, pulling the car door shut. "I know," she says, eyes shining. "I've been feeling kind of weird lately, and so I took three tests yesterday," she says, and this makes him love her so much more.
He puts his arm around her and she lays her head on his shoulder and he still can't believe this is real. They had talked about laying off the birth control a few months ago, and have been saving money for a house and kids since they got married two years ago, living frugally on Pam's salary and socking Jim's away.
"This is the best birthday present ever," he says and she laughs, snuggling next to him. "I know it's no Wii Neo, but I thought it was pretty good," she says.
"We could name it Wii Neo, and then it would be kind of like I got one," he says, and she laughs again. "Sometimes you're such a boy," she says, "It's very reassuring."
"Maybe we'll have a little boy, and he'll like video games and basketball, and you won't know what to do with yourself," he grins, and a second thought occurs to him, "Maybe we'll have a little girl, and she'll like video games and basketball, and you really won't know what to do with yourself."
Pam laces her fingers in his. "We're having a baby," she says quietly, and he nods. He turns the key in the ignition, and they go for a drive, talking about everything under the sun, but mostly about this little person that they've created.
By the time they come back to the business park a couple of hours later, the baby is so real in Jim's mind that he can't imagine not knowing about it just a few hours before. He's grinning and his head is still spinning.
"We'd better get back upstairs for your surprise party," Pam says and she climbs out of the car and heads toward the building. "Hey," he calls, moving next to her, "Can I ask you one more thing? Why'd you tell me here?"
She nods, and he remembers swaying, not dancing with her in this very spot and when she answers, it's the perfect answer. "Because I fell in love with you here, and you fell in love with me here, and this is where it all began. It just felt...right," she says.
"You're perfect, you know that?" he says, taking her hand and walking into the building, "I love you more now than I ever did."
He doesn't stop kissing her until the elevator door opens, and then they find themselves in the middle of the best birthday party Jim's ever had, even better than his Superman birthday in second grade. This party has pink and blue balloons and the Happy Baby, Jim! cake and Kelly launching herself at them, shouting "I can't believe you're pregnant!"
Jim almost chokes up again as he and Pam are presented with gifts; their coworkers obviously went out on their lunch hours to make this impromptu baby shower special. Angela passes out baby carrots, Stanley presents them with a check for the baby's college tuition, Meredith and Oscar bring them diapers. Phyllis leans over and whispers, "I've thought this was coming," and places a soft, knitted blanket on Pam's lap.
They play Baby Bingo with office supplies as prizes; Michael serenades them all with a loud rendition of "Having My Baby". Kelly asks Pam to please delete all the e-mails she's ever sent regarding baby names until Pam promises not to name the baby anything from Kelly's top ten lists. A call from Jan only adds to the din in the room. "Hey, Button," Michael shouts over the speaker phone, "Pam and Jim are preggers! Doesn't this make you want to-"
"No, Michael."
Jim claps Ryan on the back and says, "You're next, buddy," and Ryan replies, "God help us" as he pops an aspirin and moves across the room.
The party reaches its zenith and is quieting down as five o'clock nears. Dwight positions himself in front of Pam and Jim and looks at them both before speaking. "My gift to the baby is the gift of life itself. I would like to offer my services as midwife for the pregnancy and delivery. I've been apprenticing with a doula, and I would like you to be my first birth," he announces magnanimously.
Jim is truly touched and a little skeeved out, and is thinking of a polite way to refuse when Creed walks in with a brown paper bag. He hands it to Pam, who hands him a wad of bills. She turns to Jim and says, "Here's the rest of your present," and of course it's his Wii Neo, and he hugs her, because now he truly has everything he wants.
As they pack up to leave, she looks at him and smiles. "Ready to go?" she asks, and he smiles at his wife and takes her hand. "As ready as I'll ever be," he says, and she squeezes his hand.