Jim Halpert was suffering from the flu that day and decided to stay home from work. For the rest of his life, he would always regret that decision. He thought about going in, but Pam insisted that he stay and promised to visit him on lunch. They had been dating for almost a year now, and despite some rocky moments in the beginning, things were going very well. He even started the process of looking for a ring.

It was a couple hours later when Dwight called from the office because Pam hadn’t arrived yet. This immediately frightened Jim, who knew she wouldn’t just blow off work without telling him. Frantic calls to her cell phone went unanswered and driving around town resulted in nothing. It would be several more hours before he finally received that fateful phone call. Pam Beesley died that morning in a car accident.

It would be three months later before Jim returned to work. That would be one of the hardest days of his life. Everyone was kind and sympathetic, greeting him with hugs and affection, but that only served as a painful reminder of something he was trying to forget. The most difficult moment was meeting Valerie, the new receptionist. She seemed nice enough, but he couldn’t even bear to talk to her or even look to her.

It was a week before he could even answer the phone and a another week before he finally made another sale. Corporate was a little nervous, but backed off due to Michael and Ryan ‘s request for more time. It was a slow and painful process, but eventually Jim’s numbers started to improve. In fact, they soon surpassed his previous totals, as the renewed focus on his job was the only thing that helped him get through each day. It wasn’t long before Dwight started irritating him again, Kevin started telling him dirty jokes, and Michael included him in all the pointless meetings. Jim felt that things would never completely get back to normal, but now at least he was able to get through each day with minimal pain.

It was almost nine months later when Angela first noticed something was wrong with Jim. The office had to file their quarterly expense reports and she had come over to his desk to check on some of his figures that didn’t seem right. At first he seemed to be working on something, but he didn’t even budge when she walked over and greeted him. How rude, she thought. She had never thought highly of him, and suspected that he felt the same, but to outright ignore her? That was uncalled for.

She waved her hands in front of his face. “Hello!” she said, an irritated tone to her voice.

He finally snapped out of it. “What? Oh, I’m sorry. I was…” and then he seemed to drift again.

For a moment, Angela felt some concern creeping in, but that couldn’t be the case. She didn’t worry about other’s problems, especially not Jim’s. “Jim,” she said flatly.

“Oh, sorry. Um, can I help you with something?” he asked, but was clearly distracted.

“I was going over your expense forms and these two columns don’t add up correctly.” She pointed out the columns that didn’t match. “Also, we’re missing a date for this one.”

“My bad,” he said offhandedly. “I’ll go over my figures again and get back to you.”

It didn‘t seem like he took it seriously, which always bothered her about him. Accounting was serious business, and she couldn‘t just wait around for people who didn‘t care. “Well, I need them by four.”

He finally had enough of her and snapped, “Then you’ll get them by four, Angela!”

“OK…Thank you.” As she walked back to her desk, she closed her eyes with a horrific realization: It had been so long and things had returned to normal that she completely forgot what Jim had been through. Now she couldn’t believe she had spoken to him that way. Angela knew that most people in the office thought she was mean. Kevin had certainly mentioned that more than a few times. She normally played it off with an excuse, but this time she felt that maybe they were right.

It was a couple days later when Angela finally worked up the courage to apologize. She saw Jim make his way to the break room and decided to follow him in there. He noticed her enter, but immediately looked away. “Hello Jim.”

“Hey Angela,” he replied without looking at her.

She could tell he didn’t want to talk to her and almost left. Finally, she gathered up the nerve to speak. “I wanted to tell you that I feel I should not have spoken to you in that manner the other day.”

Having never seen Angela apologize before, this took him by surprise. “Really?”

“Yes. I seemed to have upset you but that was not my intent.”

“No offense, but you’re usually like that,” he replied. “I just normally don’t let it get to me.”

This wasn’t going the way she expected. She figured an apology wasn’t going to matter to him now. “Okay,” she replied. “Very well then.”

“Angela?” Jim said before she got to the door.

“Yes?”

Somehow, Jim could tell that she was making an honest effort. “I accept.”

She shook her head and said, “Thank you, Jim.”

It would be a rough week for Jim. His behavior started to become more erratic and he even snapped at Michael a couple of times, no longer having the patience for his foolishness. Each time, Michael retreated to his office and didn’t come out for hours. Finally, at Angela’s request, Toby held a meeting with Jim, trying to get him to open up about what was bothering him. Jim had known Toby for a long time and could tell that he was really trying to help, but it wasn’t really doing any good. Nobody could understand what he was going through and he just wished they would leave him alone.

Angela didn’t even know why she kept trying. If someone asked her, she wouldn’t be able to logically explain to them why she cared so much. It was a few days later when Angela decided to make another attempt. She spotted Jim in the kitchen, gathering something out of the fridge. Angela carefully walked over to him and said, “Hello, Jim.”

“Hi?” responded a confused Jim. He thought he’d already met his quota of Angela for the year.

“You always seem surprised when I talk to you.”

“Um, I guess because you hardly ever did that before?” replied a somewhat annoyed Jim.

“Yes, I guess that does make sense then.” Realizing this attempt had failed, she started to leave.

“I’m sorry,” Jim said sincerely. “I don’t mean to be rude. I just wish people would treat me the same as before. All of the attention, well, it just brings up bad memories, so…”

Angela walked up to him and gently said, “I know I can be … short with some people.” He gave her a quick glance. “Okay, most people. However, I am a Christian and we are taught to help those that are suffering.”

“Thanks Angela, but the only help I need right now is a steady diet of liquor, so unless you’re a bartender, I don’t think there’s much you can do.” With that, he went back to his desk. Angela was now more concerned than ever. She really wished that unusual feeling would go away.

At Poor Richard’s, the usual Friday night crowd was swarming throughout the place. Jim was sitting at the bar without a thought in the world except downing that next shot. He had several women sit down next to him, seemingly to strike up a conversation or maybe even proposition him, but he wasn’t having any of that. The only thing he was having was a refill. After a few hours he was clearly wasted and the bartender stopped serving him, much to Jim’s chagrin. The bartender called a cab for him, but an irritated Jim got up and left, vowing to find another establishment that would serve him.

Angela hated bars, but here she was spending her Friday night at one. She didn’t even understand why she was really there. Why did she care so much? It didn’t make any sense. She’d tried to offer support and he rejected that. Now she was looking for him in a crowded bar with smelly drunk perverted men that would love to take advantage of a 90 pound woman. Finally she spotted Jim and he did not appear to be in a good mood. He was arguing with the bartender over something and eventually stormed off. Angela followed him out of the front of the bar.

“Jim!” she called out to get his attention.

He almost stumbled trying to turn around. “Oh, it’s you again. Isn’t that great?” he slurred.

“You’re not driving. Give me your keys.” She held her hand out.

“Excuse me?”

“You’re drunk. I‘m not going to let you drive drunk.”

Jim laughed derisively. “Oh right, this is the all new Angela Martin who actually cares about people. I think I liked the old version.”

“Please give me your keys.”

”And why should I do that?”

“Because you are drunk and I’m not letting you drive,” she said, but he still wasn’t responding. “You could get into an accident!” That really struck a personal blow for him. He stopped and looked at her for a moment, and Angela was briefly worried that she’d gone too far. Jim finally gave in and handed over his keys. He then started walking back towards the bar, having great difficulty going in the right direction.

“Where are you going?” she called after him.

“Back inside. They called me a cab.”

“No. I’ll drive you home. I trust the average cab driver only slightly more than I trust a drunk driver.” She motioned for him to follow her.

“I don’t understand what’s gotten into you lately.”

“I don’t quite understand it either,” Angela said as she pointed him to where her car was parked.

I hope this isn’t like a ‘Pay it Forward’ thing, because that movie sucked.”

It took some time to get to his apartment because in his state he was not giving the best directions. When they finally arrived, he was no longer conscious. Angela eventually got his attention, at least enough to get him out of the car. She helped guide him to his front door, but it wasn’t easy given the huge disparities in weight involved. Eventually, she managed to get him inside and he immediately crashed on the couch. His apartment was a mess, but she was able to locate a blanket, which she then draped over him.

It was the next Monday, and this time he approached her. She was sitting at her desk when he came over. “Hey, can I talk to you for a second?“

“Of course,” Angela flatly replied.

Jim looked at Oscar and Kevin and then tried to signal Angela towards the break room.

A confused Kevin asked, “What are you guys doing?”

“Nothing, Kev, I just need to talk to Angela.” This explanation did nothing to end Kevin’s confusion. Angela got up and followed Jim to the break room.

“I‘m not sure whether I should say thanks or if I should apologize.”

“You don’t need to do either.”

“I’m sorry you had to see me like that. It wasn’t my finest moment.”

“It’s quite alright,” she replied, not wanting to get into a long conversation about it. She’d done her good deed, and now it was time for someone else to help.

Jim could tell something was different, but not unfamiliar, about her reaction. He sighed for a moment and then said, “It’s just that…Friday was one year.”

“Oh.” It was all she could think of to say. That unfamiliar feeling of concern began creeping up on her again.

“Yeah. It‘s just been really hard. I got to a point where I could pretend that it didn‘t happen and then this brought it all back.” Angela was nodding at him sympathetically. “You know, I haven’t even been to visit … you know.”

“Maybe that would be good for you,” she suggested. She couldn’t believe what she was about to suggest, but it just seemed like the right thing to do. “You know, I could go if you needed someone to go with you. If you think that would help.”

Jim decided to go ahead with it that afternoon, figuring that if he didn’t go right away, then it might not ever happen. He caught Angela after work ended for the day and said he was ready. They took her car because he was shaking way too much to drive safely. Also, he didn’t want to chicken out at the last minute. This was something he needed to do.

As they arrived at the cemetery, all Jim could think about were the hundreds of people buried there. All of them had loved ones, most of whom were probably grieving as much as he was. While he got out of the car and made his way through the cemetery, Angela said a silent prayer and then followed him a few yards behind.

Angela could tell he had found her headstone because he stopped and sank to his knees. There it read:

Pam Beesley
1979-2008

Jim had always made a habit of repressing his feelings, especially around those he still didn’t completely trust, but he couldn’t do so any longer. He lost control of his emotions and suddenly found himself weeping. In that moment, his only conscious thought was to be glad that Angela was there because he appreciated the tender way she was holding his head in her arms as he cried the night away.

“Where do you see yourself in 10 years?”
 
Last year when Jim was faced with this question, the answer was simple. He saw himself with the woman of his dreams, not really caring about superficial things like money, status, or career. He passed up his chance at all of those goals so he could spend the rest of his life with Pam. Now all he could think about was if he’d chosen differently, maybe she would still be alive. She wouldn’t have been driving from his apartment that morning and wouldn’t have been in that accident. But no, he had to be selfish.

He had to have her, and she paid the price.
 
This was the fifteenth interview Jim had been on in the last year. He wanted to leave Dunder Mifflin so he could forget all about what happened. Transferring to other branches was not an option, as most of them were rolling back staff. His connections with David Wallace weren’t enough right now, as even Corporate had a hiring freeze for the moment; he’d heard that even Ryan’s job might be in jeopardy. These interviews for other companies had all been horrendous, as he simply couldn’t focus on the questions being asked. He hadn’t taken the job last May and his friend, his lover, his dream; she had perished as a result. Now his punishment was to be stuck in the same office with constant reminders of the life they shared together and what they would never share again.

Jim couldn’t remember how he answered the interviewer’s question, but then that was nothing new. The whole thing was pretty much a blur.  If asked, he wouldn’t even be able to tell anyone what his answers were. He got up and left the interview knowing that it was a foregone conclusion. He wasn’t going to get the job, just like he didn’t get the last fourteen. Once it was mercifully over, he knew exactly where he was headed.

The cemetery was a familiar place for him now. It was two weeks ago when he broke down and cried in Angela’s arms, and he’d been back to visit every day since. Each day he brought something different to put next to her grave: flowers, yogurt lids, his yearbook photo, a can of Coke. When he ran out of items, he started talking to her. It was hard at first. He could barely get more than a few words out without choking up, but with each passing day, he found himself able to bare his soul a little bit more.

I really miss you, Pam.

I’m so sorry, Pam. This shouldn’t have happened to you.

I was selfish. I should have just gone to New York and let you lead your life. You were doing so well. I was very proud of you.

Hi, Pam. I was at an interview and they asked me where I saw myself in 10 years. I don’t think I answered the question very well because all I could think about is our house with a terrace with our children running around. I still see that happening, even though I know it never will.

Pam, I’m so sorry I didn’t go to your first art show. I mean, sure I went to plenty of art shows after that, but I could never go back in time and erase the fact that I failed you. I let you down. I was your friend and I acted like a jerk. And I wish you were here so I could apologize to you again.

I’m not even sure if you can really hear me. I’ve never been a big spiritual person. If you can hear me, then you’re probably up there calling me a dork and telling me to get on with my life. I wish it were that easy. I really want you back, Pam. Every morning I wake up, I hope the last year has just been one long nightmare. Every day I come home I hope that you’ll be behind that door to greet me with your warm smile, but every day I open the door to emptiness. I really miss you, Pam. I’m so sorry.

It was Sunday morning, and Jim didn’t know exactly what he was doing. It had been a long time since he’d been at any place like this. His mom would take him to church when he was younger, but even then it had only been occasionally. The only time he’d been since was on special holidays like Easter or Christmas. It didn’t hurt that Angela would be there. It was strange, but of all the people in the world, she was the one that was finally able to get through to him. While he had significant support from his family and friends, all he could see in them was sadness, and that only served to further his own despair. For some reason, she had actually reached out to him, and it meant so much more because he knew it wasn’t out of some friendly or familial obligation. She even prevented him from driving drunk, possibly saving his life. She actually cared, and although he didn’t quite understand why, he knew he’d never forget her for that.

Angela spotted him immediately and seemed genuinely excited to see him arrive. “Jim! I’m so glad you could make it.” She was actually … smiling.

“Yeah, I don’t know how long I’m gonna stay.”
 
“Well, it’s rude to leave in the middle,” she said with a bit more edge in her voice than she had intended. Jim simply smiled in response. “But of course, you should only stay as long as you’re comfortable,” she added more pleasantly. “We wouldn’t want to pressure you. “

He kept smiling and even let out a slight laugh. “Okay, I guess I’ll sit over here?”

“That’s excellent. I have to greet some people, but I’ll be right back. I hope you enjoy the service.”

He did enjoy the service. He had never seen Angela more energetic or happy. She was belting out the songs, not caring what anyone thought about her voice. This was an entirely different person than the one he’d known for so many years. She seemed so full of life and spirit. This was obviously her nightclub, her afternoon ballgame, her bowling alley. This was where she wanted to be. He wasn’t exactly sure if it was where he wanted to be yet. There was less of the fire and brimstone stuff than he had expected, but he still felt a bit uncomfortable. It’s not that he didn’t believe, he was just uncertain if this was a place where he belonged. He was, however, definitely intrigued by what he saw of Angela.

The next day at work he timed his lunch to coincide with hers. “Hey, mind if I join you?” he asked.

She looked up from the table, a bit surprised. “That would be fine,” she said formally.

“I really enjoyed the service,” he said. “It was … interesting.”

“Well, I’m glad,” she said flatly.

“Is everything okay? You seem kinda upset today.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“You sure?”

She sighed and reluctantly told her story, “Well, it’s just Oscar and Kevin are really getting on my nerves today. Kevin will make these racy inappropriate comments to me. Oscar will just sit there and stay quiet, even though I know it bothers him, too. Then the only time he doesn‘t stay quiet is when he criticizes my baby poster.”

“That sounds like a normal day.”

“Yes, but today has been excessive.  I just want to work. I take my job seriously. Why don’t people understand that?”

“Why don’t you just sic Dwight on them?” he asked. “I’m sure he could figure out a way to terrorize them.”

“What are you talking about?” That comment definitely took her by surprise.

“Um, I guess you didn’t know, but I kinda saw you two one day.”

“Oh. I see. Well I thought you might know because…” but she cut herself off before she brought up something uncomfortable. “Never mind. What I’m trying to say is we are no longer together.

“Wow. What happened?”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” she said seriously. “I mean it this time.”

“No, no. That’s fine. I have an idea, though.”

“What?”

“An idea of how to get Kevin and Oscar off your back.”

She seemed intrigued. “Really?”

“Well, it’s been a while but I’m sure I could reach back into my repertoire of tricks to find something you can use on them.”

“You mean one of those childish pranks? I think that would be inappropriate,” she said disapprovingly.

“You’ve really got to stop saying that word,” he said.

“What word?”

“Inappropriate. No more. I have banned that word from your vocabulary for one week.”

“You can’t do that.”

“Too late. It’s already done. Just like that,” he said with a snap of his fingers. “Now, about Oscar and Kevin…”

Angela gave in.  “Okay, what did you have in mind?”

Later that day, Oscar and Kevin were returned from their break. When Kevin got back to his desk, he noticed something wrong with his keyboard. “Heeeeeey. Who did this?”

“What happened?” Oscar asked.

“Somebody stole the six and nine keys from my keyboard!” As he said the words he began to figure it out. Kevin and Oscar both looked at Angela. “Angela?” Kevin asked suspiciously.

“What?” she replied without looking up from her current task.

“You did this, didn’t you?”

“That doesn’t sound like me,” she said, still not looking up, but betraying a smile that gave her away.

It was a moment later when the other shoe dropped. “What is this?!” Oscar shouted at her. Kevin came around to see that Oscar’s screensaver was now a picture of the babies dressed as adults poster.

“What?” Angela replied, trying to act innocent.

“Come on Angela. I know you did this.”

“Really? How would I have managed to do that? Now if your question is, why someone would do that, my guess is they wanted to be left alone…” she said pointedly. “…so they could work.”

Oscar and Kevin got the point and sat back down at their desks. “When can I have my six and nine keys back?” Kevin asked.

“We’ll see how long you can go without being disgusting.”

Oscar quickly went to work on fixing his screensaver and Kevin sat down, a little frightened that his arch nemesis was apparently now ready to play dirty. Angela turned around to sneak a glance at Jim. He grinned and gave her a thumbs up.

Over the next several months, lunch became a regular daily routine for them. He had his usual ham and cheese sandwich with a grape soda. She ate a salad and drank water. Sometimes they’d talk about the usual nonsense going on in the office, like Michael’s latest telemarketing scheme or that ever changing strange smell coming from Creed’s desk.  Sometimes they’d just sit there, silently enjoying each other’s company. Jim forgot how much quicker the hours ticked away when there was a friend around to keep his mind off the dreariness that was Dunder Mifflin. He tried not to think about that too much, though.

He was still not sure if he fit in at church or not, but he still attended Sunday, sitting right there next to her. He even joined in on some after church activities at her urging. The charity bake sale was not a good fit for him, but he was a trouper. The softball team didn’t really work out either, as he had trouble relating to any of the other guys. He was at his best during events where there was direct contact with the needy, such as the homeless or sick children. There his natural charm was put to good use.

“Do you think you could give me a ride to my car?” Angela asked. They’d just finished up working kitchen duty at a homeless shelter and her car was parked on the other side of the parking lot, while his was nearby.

“Certainly,” he responded, but instead of walking her to his car, he picked her up and put her on his shoulders. Then he began to walk across the parking lot to her car.

“Jim! What are you doing?”

“You said you needed a ride to your car.”

“Jim, this is not appropriate adult behavior!”

“Then how come you’re smiling?” he asks.

“You don’t know that,” she responded, not very convincingly. “You can’t see my face.”

“But you are, aren’t you?” he asked knowingly.

She knew that he was right, but did not want to concede defeat. “That’s not the point.”

“You sure?”

“Okay, I’m having fun, but can you please put me down?”

He obliged, but upon looking at her noticed that her smile betrayed her.

Jim started to get a feeling in his gut, an uncomfortable feeling, something he hadn‘t felt in a long time. It was the same way he felt every time she smiled. “You should have fun much more often,” he says carefully, trying not to let his sudden nervousness show. “I think it brings out the best in you.”

“I have fun all the time,” she protested, but he gave her a sarcastic glance.

“I do. I … play with my cats. I knit. I go to church.”

“Okay, I’m sure you have a grand time doing all of that, but you’re not, you know, a grandmother. You can do other stuff.”

Joking around had always been Jim’s way of dealing with things he was uncomfortable with, or wasn‘t ready to face, and he was still a pro at that.

“Are you going to give me a ride to my car or not?”  Jim just smiled in response. “Fine,” Angela said.

Jim put her back on his shoulders and carried her to across the parking lot to her car. The whole way there, Angela tried her best not to smile. That wouldn’t be appropriate.

They were in the break room for lunch when it happened. It was routine procedure by now.  Instinctively, he had grabbed her lunch out of the refrigerator along with his, and set it out on the table. Seeing this, she thanked him and smiled. He had to look away, though. He couldn’t face what he was feeling. Not now. It didn’t make any sense.

“He loved someone else more than me,” she blurted out.

“Excuse me?” a confused Jim responded.

“Dwight. I’m talking about it. You asked.”

“Wasn’t that like three months ago?”

“Why do you always have to joke about everything?” she snapped.

“Sorry,” he replied. “I don’t know. I’m a little nervous. I guess it’s kind of like a defense mechanism?”

“Defense mechanism for what?” she asked.

He gulped, “Maybe because I think I’m falling in love with you?”

“Oh,” replied a momentarily stunned Angela. “I see.”

Jim was extremely nervous as he walked up to Angela’s door to pick her up for their first date. Last week, he’d made a declaration of love to her, and things had been awkward the rest of that day. After a day of reflection, she agreed to go on a date with him, but she still seemed a bit uneasy, and that unanswered love declaration was still hanging out there. Because of this, he wanted everything about the evening to be perfect, and arrived with a dozen roses in hopes of getting off to a good start.

“Hello, Jim,” Angela said in a flat tone as she opened the door.

“Uh, hi, Angela,” Jim replied, confused by her formal and stilted greeting. “I brought these for you.” He handed her the roses, but she didn’t seem extremely impressed.

“That is very nice. Thank You.”

“Uh, you’re welcome,” Jim replied, getting more nervous by the second.

“Now just let me put these in some water and then we can leave,” she said with an obviously fake smile.

“Okay,” Jim replied. He had started to wonder if Angela really wanted to do this.

Things didn’t get much better when they arrived at the restaurant. He thought picking a vegetarian eatery would impress her, but she seemed oddly annoyed more than anything else.

“Why did you take me here?” Angela asked.

“I don’t know. I thought this would be a good place since you’re a vegetarian.”

“But you’re not. What are you going to eat?”

”Oh, I’ll find something on here that’s has… flavor,” he said sarcastically, but she was obviously not in the mood for jokes.

Dinner was a mostly silent and awkward affair. Every attempt Jim made at small talk was cut short by an abrupt, seemingly dismissive answer from Angela. He didn’t quite understand it. The woman he fell in love with had turned back into the cold, brusque woman who used to be his enemy. What was going on? Perhaps she didn’t really want to be on a date with him, and was just being kind in accepting his offer. He had to admit that his love declaration came out of the blue and she probably still hadn’t completely recovered from that. She’d been nice to him for a long time now so maybe she agreed to the date out of fear of hurting his feelings. Whatever the case, this certainly hadn’t gone as he expected.

“Thank You, Jim,” Angela said at the front door to her apartment. “I had a nice time.” Her voice was flat, and he could tell she didn’t mean it. The invitation to a good night kiss definitely wasn’t there, not that he was sure he wanted one anymore.

“You sure?”

“Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?”

She obviously wasn’t going to talk about it. Jim figured it had already been uncomfortable enough and bugging her about it would probably just make things worse. “No reason. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow, right?”

“Yep,” she said, plastering on a fake smile.

The date hadn’t gone even remotely like Jim planned and he couldn’t figure out why. It bugged him all night long, and the next day at work, he decided he couldn’t wait until lunch to talk to her about it. He saw Angela get up to make some copies, and walked over there. He stood right next to her and looked straight ahead so no one could tell they were talking to one another.

“Hey,” he started.

“Hello,” she responded.

“Things seemed pretty weird last night.”

“Did they?”

“Yeah, you know, you were kind of… distant.”

“Was I?”

“Stop that.”

“Stop what?”

“You know what I’m talking about,” he said with a bit of annoyance. “We’ve been spending a lot of time together lately, and it’s been fun, but last night was anything but fun. You seemed like you’d rather be anywhere else.”

This got her attention. “That’s not true.”

“It isn’t? Then I guess I don’t understand.”

“I don’t know what to say, Jim,” she said as her voice wavered a bit. “You told me you loved me. You, of all people, told me that. How do you expect me to respond to that?”

“I guess maybe I could have gone about that a better way, but if you didn’t want to go on a date, you should have said no.”

“It’s not that. I did want to go. I mean, I do want to go.”

“You do?” he asked hopefully.

“Yes,” she replied quietly.

“How about tonight? We can try again. I know the perfect place.”

“Where?”

“Trust me,” he said.

At this point, Kevin walked up. “Are you done with the copier, yet?”  

“Yes I am, Kevin,” Angela replied a little too quickly. With that, she quickly turned and walked back to her desk.

Kevin looked over at Jim, who was still standing there. “What are you doing? You don’t even have something to copy.”

Jim looked down at his empty hands. “Oh, yeah, I left it on my desk. You go ahead, Kev. I’ll take care of it later.” Jim went back to his desk, leaving a very confused Kevin in his wake.

“Jim! This place is disgusting,” Angela complained as they walked through the bowling alley.

“Well, last night you told me I should have picked a place I would enjoy, so here we are,” Jim replied as they walked over to a rack of bowling balls.

“I must have been out of my mind when I said that. It smells like a locker room here. And that spray stuff they put in the shoes, I don’t think that did the trick.”

“You had them spray them three times.”

“Some of us don’t want to catch a foot disease.”

“Quit complaining, Martin. Now, let’s find you a ball.”

“This one is fine,” Angela said as he picked up one of the smallest balls on the rack.

“8 pounds? You won’t be able to knock over anything with that. Try this one.” He hands her a much larger ball.

She picks it up and almost immediately drops it. “Jim! This one is heavier than I am.”

“Hey, look at you, you made a joke,” he said with amusement.

“No I didn’t,” she protested.

“Well, unless that ball actually does weigh 95 pounds, then I think you did. Let me see.” As Jim took the ball from her, he brushed her hand, causing her to smile. “Nope. This isn’t 95 pounds.” She actually laughed and as they walked over to their lane, he could tell this was going to go much better than the previous night.

It was later that night when they kissed for the first time. Jim walked her to her front door once again, but this time the atmosphere was much more inviting. Still, he was a little nervous, worried about overplaying his hand. They stood there for a few minutes, smiling at one another and exchanging monosyllabic pleasantries. Jim was waiting for what he felt would be the right moment when Angela impulsively pulled him close to her and kissed him. The initial kiss was brief as they pulled back and looked at each other for a brief moment. Then they went back in for a much more passionate, deeper kiss.

“Good night, Jim,” Angela said as they finally broke apart, but the pounding in his chest was far too loud for him to hear anything else. Angela smiled and retreated to her apartment.

Jim walked into work the next day happier than he’d been in a long time.  He was so happy that he decided it was finally time to do something different. “Hi, Valerie,” he said to the receptionist.

This definitely took Valerie by surprise. “Oh, Hi.”

“I just wanted to say that I’m sorry I’ve ignored you for so long,” Jim said.

“Oh no, it’s okay,” Valerie said, still a bit unsure of where this was headed.

“No it’s not. I was rude to you for a long time. Still, you managed to make sure I got all my messages and transferred all my calls. You did a great job despite me being a jerk, so thanks.”

She smiled and said, “You’re welcome.”

“Keep up the good work,” he said before going to his desk.

It was the start of a new chapter in his life. The old Jim Halpert, who had ever so slowly started to reappear over the last couple years, was finally back. He was in charge of office morale once again, leading the group in time-wasting activities whenever he had the chance, although Angela pretended to hate them because they were keeping things a secret for now. He even got back into his weekly poker games, and when Angela sat in for a couple hands at his urging, even she had to admit that it didn’t make her “completely nauseated“.

Jim went all out for their one month anniversary, showering her with gifts and taking her to a fancy restaurant. She tried to pretend that it was silly to make such a big deal out of it, but deep down she absolutely loved it. He understood this complexity about her by now. It was that night when they made love for the first time. He held her in his arms the same way she had done for him at the cemetery last year. And for what seemed like the first time in her life, Angela was no longer afraid of letting go with her emotions.

“I love you, Jim,” she said in the darkness.

“I love you, too,” the darkness replied back.

Jim and Angela were dating for six months when he decided it was time to introduce her to his mom, something he had only done previously with Karen and Pam. She was sweet to both of them, although he sensed his mom did not really care for Karen. He waited so long to introduce Angela because he was afraid his mom would feel the same about her, even if she wouldn’t show it. He really wanted her to like Angela.

Angela was certainly nervous herself. She sensed that his mom was bound to be much like Jim, touchy feely and overly happy all the time. She was afraid that his mom would not approve of his new cold and judgmental girlfriend. Her trepidation certainly didn’t end when Jim’s mother warmly greeted both of them and immediately asked to speak with Angela alone in the kitchen. Angela braced herself for the criticism: Jim isn’t like you. He’s a caring sensitive person, and deserves to be with someone who can give him the same. Why do you dress like a pilgrim?

“So, Angela…”

“Yes, Mrs. Halpert?”

“You can call me Larissa.”

“I’d rather not. I think that’s disrespectful.”

Larissa looked at her oddly for a moment, then smiled. “Suit yourself. I wanted to talk to you alone because there‘s something I wanted to tell you.”

Angela gulped, “Okay.”

“Thank you,” Larissa said.

“What?” a surprised Angela asked.

“Thank you. For bringing him back,” Larissa said, trying to say it without tearing up. “He was gone for so long. I was so afraid that I lost him. I tried to help. We all did. We couldn’t get through to him. But you did something. You were there for him in a way that none of us could be, and you brought him back.”

Angela could probably count only ten times in her life where she had cried, and at least eight of them had to do with the party planning committee. Yet there she was, crying because Jim’s mom hugged her in the kitchen.

“Is everything okay?” Jim said as he entered the kitchen. “I heard crying and I just wanted to see if it was happy crying or you know, the result of hair pulling.”

“He can never resist a joke,” Larissa said to Angela. “You’ll have to get used to that.”

“I’m getting there,” Angela replied with a smile.

It was a regular Saturday afternoon when Jim decided to do something he hadn’t done in a very long time. He stopped by the cemetery to talk to Pam:

“Hi, Pam. I know it’s been a long time since I’ve been here. Things have really changed in my life lately. I’m still not even sure if I believe you can hear me or not. I know that Angela would probably say that you can hear me, and I guess that’s what I came here to talk to you about. I’ve fallen in love with someone else, and believe it or not, her name is Angela Martin. I know what you’re probably thinking. Angela? It doesn’t make any sense. Actually, knowing you, you’re probably up there teasing me right now. I can just hear it. ‘Angela and Jim sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G.’ But it’s true. I really do love her. She’s just, underneath that bossy, judgmental exterior, there’s this warm and wonderful person inside. Now, I’m thinking maybe this isn’t a surprise to you. Maybe you’ve been looking over me this whole time. Maybe you chose her to come to my rescue, and to be the one I’m supposed to end up with. If so, what were you thinking? I know you’re laughing at that, so don’t try to pretend otherwise.”

Jim paused for several minutes, doing anything in his power to stop from crying. After a few moments, he continued, “I guess what I’m saying, Pam, is that while I’ve fallen in love with someone, that doesn’t mean I’ve fallen out of love with you. I will always love you, Pam, and I will treasure every second I got to spend in your company.”

That afternoon, Jim had finally arrived at his destination. He pulled into a parking space and turned the ignition off. Then he just sat there and waited for a long time. He had to decide if this was what he really wanted. This next step was bold and frightening. He had always planned to make it at some point, but this was certainly far off from his original dream. However, he also didn’t want to end up like Ryan, trying to live the rest of his life pretending he wasn’t in love. Jim got out of his car and made that fateful walk. He opened the door and entered. The sign above him read:

J B JEWELERS

“Elevator! Now!” Angela snapped. She immediately stood up and started walking in that direction, while he waited a few minutes before following her. The elevator door opened and he walked in. “What are you speaking to me for?” Angela said harshly. They had dated for several years, but she no longer wanted anything to do with him. It just wasn’t going to work.

“Monkey,” Dwight attempted to say affectionately.

“Stop that! I am not your monkey. I haven’t been for a long time,” Angela said. For the past two weeks, Dwight had made contact with her, whether through e-mail or phone calls or giving her suggestive looks as they passed each other in the office. Her anger had increased with each passing day. She was with Jim now, and certainly didn’t want him to think anything was going on. At the same time, she couldn’t tell Dwight about it, because he certainly wouldn’t believe her, and even if he did, his reaction would quite likely alert everyone in the office to the relationship.

“Don’t you miss me?” Dwight said, trying to do that smoldering eye movement that used to get her right there, but she would not meet his eyes.

“How could I possibly miss someone who always puts me second?” she said as the elevator doors opened and she quickly walked out through the lobby and to the parking lot.

“That’s not true, monkey,” Dwight said, hurrying to catch up to her.

“I told you to stop calling me that!” Angela shouted, immediately silencing him. “It was either your career or it was Michael,” she said quietly. “Twice you had, or at least thought you had, Michael’s job, and neither time did you let me help you out. No, you just cast me off to the side and basked in the stupid glory of your newfound power,” her voice beginning to waver with emotion. “Any other time, you’re sucking up to Michael left and right, even helping him pass a drug test, going against everything you believe in. You never once did anything like that for me.”

Dwight just stood there quietly taking all of this in, but he still couldn’t completely resist being himself. “But you don’t take drugs.”

She couldn’t believe she had wasted her time. This was probably the most she had ever said to him, and if he still didn’t understand, it would probably never happen. Angela quickly fixed him with an evil glare and finally decided it was best to get back to the office before anyone noticed they were gone. She had no way of knowing that Jim witnessed this conversation from the window. She also had no way of knowing that in his coat pocket was a diamond engagement ring, and that he planned to propose to her with it later that night.

Jim was really confused right now. Here he was spending a romantic evening with Angela at a nice restaurant, and he was hiding an engagement ring in his pocket. This is something he’d thought about for a long time. Sometimes he couldn’t shake the feeling that this was Angela Martin. It all felt very surreal to him. However, they had been dating for nine months and he was completely in love with her. Sure, they certainly had their fare share of differences, but there was an unmistakable connection between them that had developed through the past couple years. He knew that despite their differences, this is what he wanted, to spend the rest of his life with her.

However, something else was on his mind this evening, and try as he might, he could not shake it. What exactly did that conversation between Angela and Dwight mean? It looks pretty heated, a little too heated if you asked him. He tried to put it out of his mind. This was supposed to be a special night. Certainly he trusted Angela by now, but there was just a little sliver of doubt creeping up in his mind and he knew he wouldn’t be able to propose until he got rid of it.

“I saw you and Dwight this morning,” Jim said.

“When?” Angela asked, trying to feign innocence.

This didn’t help to ease his concern. Why was she trying to play dumb? “In the parking lot.”

“Oh. Did that bother you?” she asked, while staring down at her plate.

“Well, it didn’t seem like a friendly conversation, so...”

Angela tried to play it off in a way he would understand. “Dwight’s an idiot. That’s all.”

“Is it?” he asked with a trace of suspicion in his voice.

“I really don’t want to talk about it,” Angela said, staring down at her plate.

Dinner was mostly silent after that. There were awkward glances across the table, both of them wondering if the other was mad but neither wanted approach the subject. Dinner was almost over and Jim was about to ask for the check when something awful happened. It was the last thing either of them had expected.

“Oh my god! Jim? And Angela? What are you guys doing here?”

“Um, hi, Kelly,” Jim said as Angela shifted uncomfortably in her chair.

“You guys are dating, aren’t you?” Kelly asked, but she wasn’t waiting for an answer. “Never in a million years would I… I mean, it’s so cute, the two of you.”

“Thanks,” Jim said with an uncertain smile.

“Yeah, thanks, “Angela followed as she stabbed her food with her fork.

“Is this your first date?” Kelly excitedly asked. “That is awesome!”

“No, actually, we’ve been dating for nine months,” Jim said.

“Nine months? Jim! How could you not tell me?!” she said, punctuating each word in the sentence by playfully punching him on the arm.

“Ouch,” he said in a joking manner, although he wasn’t entirely joking.

“Oh, I can’t wait to tell everyone!” Kelly squealed. “It’ll be awesome!”

“No,” Angela said, causing Kelly to stare at her with confusion.

“What she means is…” Jim said, but was quickly cut off.

“What I mean is, we don’t want anyone else to know,” Angela said, a little more kindly, but not too much. “And we would appreciate it if you respected our privacy.”

Kelly felt a bit uncomfortable now, but obliged Angela’s request. “Oh, totally.” She eyed Jim and Angela suspiciously, noticing that neither of them looked too happy at the moment. “Are you guys fighting?” she asked.

“No, we are not fighting,” Angela said a little too sharply.

“It’s okay Kelly, we just need a little privacy.” Kelly nodded and began to walk away. “And please don’t tell anyone, because that would be horrible,” Jim sarcastically said to her as she walked away.

“I thought you agreed we should keep it a secret,” an annoyed Angela said.

“Of course I did. I guess I just wish you weren’t so adamant about it,” Jim said. “Also, it’s almost been a year. How much longer should we wait?”

“Our relationship is not the business of anyone else!” Angela said loudly, drawing the attention of people nearby.

Jim quietly said, “It doesn’t have to be, but that doesn’t mean we have to keep hiding or lying to others. It doesn’t have to be like…”

“Like what?” Angela said, having an idea where this was going and not liking it one bit.

There was a battle raging in his head over whether to finish that sentence or not. He knew that no good could come of it, but some small part of him felt it needed to be said. He would soon hate that part. “Like you and Dwight,” he said.

The reaction was exactly what he expected, as she immediately stood up and stormed off. After quickly calling for the check, Jim looked at the box in his hand. It wasn’t their first fight, and it certainly wouldn’t be their last, but the occasion was no longer right and so he slipped the ring back into his pocket.

“Well, I was a jerk last night, and you know jerks have to get up pretty early,” Jim said with a grin. “It’s a long day and we have plenty of people to treat like crap.”

“I never said you treated me like crap,” Angela said as she took the roses and a smile began to form on her face.

“Well, whatever you want to call it, I’m sorry it happened.”

Angela pondered this for a moment as she smelled the roses. “Okay, you can come in.”

“I can? So you’re giving me permission, like I’m a vampire?”

“You can be a vampire if you want,” she said, a small devilish smile appearing on her face.

“Oh really? We better get out of this sunlight then,” he said with a sly grin. “I think it might be dark enough in your bedroom, for example.”

“Yes, I believe it would. Let me put these in some water and then I can … shield you from sunlight.”

After she finished putting the roses in a vase, Jim snuck up behind her and wrapped his arms around her. “I think you might need shielding, too,” he said, before kissing her on the neck.

Unfortunately, the happiness of that morning did not completely dissuade their insecurities. Thankfully, Kelly had actually kept her promise not to tell the rest of the office about the relationship, although this disappointed Jim a bit. Surely, he could count on Kelly for something, and at least Angela would no longer be able to hide behind excuses. The next day at work, Jim got increasingly annoyed at the attention Dwight was paying to Angela. During lunch break, as Jim and Angela sat in the break room together, Dwight came up to her and asked if he could have a word.

“I really don’t want to, Dwight,” said Angela, clearly looking uncomfortable.

“Please,” he said intensely.

“I said no,” Angela replied, glancing at Jim to see how much this was bothering him.

“But monkey…” Dwight said, but he didn’t get to finish that.

“Look, Dwight, Angela and I are dating, alright?” he said, a little louder than he intended. Looking around, he could see Kevin was also in the break room, now with a confused look on his face. As Kevin hurried out, Jim turned back to Angela, who was clearly furious.

“That’s not funny, Jim!” Dwight shouted.

“It’s true,” Angela said, still with intensely angry eyes burning a hole in Jim’s face. After an obviously hurt Dwight stammered and stumbled his way out of the break room, she let him have it. “How could you do that?!”

“Do what? Let people know we’re dating? Oh no, the horror!” he said with angry sarcasm.

“You know I didn’t want that. I didn’t want people whispering and butting in to my private life!”

“Who cares what people think? Sometimes, it’s good to just to be carefree and not give a damn what others think.”

“Well, that may be how you and…” she said, trying to stop herself here but the words were coming out faster than she could think, “…Pam wanted to do it, but that’s not me!” Instantly, she regretted saying that, especially after seeing his face, which was a mixture of confusion, hurt, and anger. She quickly saw the back of him and heard the door slam shut. 

As Jim stormed out of the office, the only thing he could overhear was Kevin loudly proclaiming that Oscar owed him one hundred thousand dollars.

Later that night, Jim was sitting on the steps leading up to his apartment building when Angela approached him. She instantly noticed the black box in his hand.

“Hi,” Angela said cautiously.  Jim acknowledged this, but did not respond. “I’ve been trying to call you,” she said.

“I’ve been out here,” he said blankly.

Angela nodded and finally got up the courage to ask, “What are you holding?”

Jim looked down at it and said, “It’s an engagement ring.”

“Oh,” was all Angela could think of to say.

“Yeah,” Jim said, recognizing the awkwardness of the situation.

Angela sat down next to him. “I don’t usually apologize,” she said in an apologetic tone.

He looked at the ring and put it in his pocket. Looking at her, he softly said, “I know.”

“I love you, Jim.”

“I love you, too.”

They had said these words many times before, but this time it was different. The words were no longer filled with hope and joy, but with the sad realization that love might not be enough. Maybe they were too different after all. Jim and Angela sat there on those steps and as the night passed them by, they wondered how many more nights they’d spend together before their differences drove them apart for good.