There were days when Ryan Bailey Howard wished he'd never taken Jan's job. These times were in addition to all the other days when he wished he'd never even heard of Dunder Mifflin. It haunted him sometimes, that one morning nearly three years ago now. If he'd just ignored that ringing telephone that woke him from a pleasant sleep, things could have been so different. But no, a guy in need of an income needed to answer every morning call, in the hopes that a new temporary job would be waiting that could lead to something else. And so that one simple act - getting out of bed and answering the phone - was the proverbial flap of the butterfly's wings that had him on his way to Michael Scott's office that morning, for a meeting he never in a million years imagined he'd be a part of.

Pam knew the day was off to a strange start when she and Jim arrived to find Michael already in his office. Michael was never that early.

“Do you think he and Jan had another fight?” Pam whispered to Jim as they stood together in the kitchen.

“That or she wanted sex before work,” Jim quipped, sipping his coffee.

“Please,” Pam wrinkled her nose. “Don't put that image in my head before I've had some caffeine.”

“Sorry,” he grinned, clearly unapologetic. “Would you feel better if you focused on remembering our morning instead?”

She returned his teasing smile, and nudged against him as they walked back towards their desks. “Who said I'm not already doing that?”

Ryan arrived by nine o'clock, and shortly afterwards was joined by Dan Beals, the executive producer of the documentary they'd been a part of for several years. The number of times Dan had been to the Scranton office since the filming had started could be counted on one hand, so clearly something was up. At nine-thirty an attractive, well-dressed woman in approximately her mid-thirties arrived, and she was quickly escorted into Michael's office.

Jim raised his eyebrows at Pam and nodded his head back towards Michael's closed door. Pam rolled her eyes and shrugged back, revealing nothing. So Jim sent her a message:

jhalpert: who was that?

pbeesly: how should I know?

jhalpert: You're sleuthing skills are falling, Beesly - there was a time I wouldn't even have to prompt you for information. It's your job to know!

pbeesly: Yeah, right. I'm sorry, but you'll have to find a way to ask her out without my help. :-P

jhalpert: Some friend you are.

pbeesly: Thank you. :-)

jhalpert: You didn't even get a name?

pbeesly: I'm pretty sure I heard her say her name was Samantha something.

jhalpert: Samantha Something? I like that.

pbeesly: dork.

While they bantered, Toby joined the meeting that was going on in Michael's office. From that point on, the door remained closed for well over an hour, though occasionally Michael's muffled voice could be heard. He did not sound particularly pleased.

“So, what do you think is going on?” Jim fished around the jelly bean container as he leaned against Pam's desk.

“If Michael is in the same room with Ryan and Toby, it can't be good.”

“I know,” Jim laughed. “But who's that woman?”

“You mean your new girlfriend Samantha Something?”

“Yep,” he grinned.

“My guess,” Pam said conspiratorially, “Given that Dan is here as well, is that she is from the FCC, and Michael's being brought up on obscenity charges.”

“Nice,” Jim nodded. “You might be on to something there.”

Michael's office door swung open just as Jim was returning to his desk. “Can I have your attention please?” Michael announced, with a look on his face that defied description. He looked afraid and excited at the same time, and he kept looking at the yet unidentified woman with something akin to awe. “I need to have all the women in the conference room right now.”

Pam looked over at Jim, who shot her a look that told her he was as puzzled as she was.

“Is this really necessary?” Angela asked. “I have payroll to finish before noon today.”

“Yes, it is absolutely so,” Michael insisted.

“You always say that,” Kevin replied.

“Well, this time I mean it,” he grumbled back. Ryan noticed Karen standing up and whispered something to Michael.

“Um, except you.” Michael pointed at Karen. “You aren't a woman.”

“Excuse me?” Karen looked annoyed.

“We don't need you. You're not a woman for, uh, the purposes of this meeting,” Michael said. “You can stay out here.”

“Fine,” Karen huffed, sitting back down. “Works for me.”

Jim raised his hand. “What exactly is the purpose of this meeting?”

“I can't tell you,” Michael said quickly. “You don't have the right parts.”

Ryan sighed. “Could we just talk to the women for a moment? This really isn't a big deal.”

“Of course you'd say that,” Michael sneered. “These aren't your women anymore.”

“You got that right,” Kelly said flippantly, walking past Ryan and into the conference room.

“Michael, I insist that I be allowed to attend this meeting,” Dwight said.

“No,” Ryan replied.

“Definitely not,” Michael said. “That's - that's just a disgusting idea.”

Phyllis and Meredith got up and joined Kelly in the conference room. Angela finally grudgingly stood up, and Pam shrugged at Jim as she passed. Michael, Ryan, Toby, Dan and the mystery woman followed, and the door closed behind them. Dwight walked over to the window to try and read their lips, only to be rebuffed when Ryan closed the blinds.

“Damn temp,” Dwight muttered as he walked back to his desk.

Jim glanced at the closed door, and for the first time he actually wished he'd been required to attend a meeting. It all seemed so weird. Michael was entirely too subdued for Michael. The appearance of Dan made it clear that it had to have something to do with the documentary, and Jim wondered if perhaps it was finally being canceled. He had to admit he kind of hoped that was the case.

Not that they'd become stars in any sense of the word, but ever since the show debuted on Bravo early last year it had developed a bit of a cult following. And to everyone's surprise that introduced the appearance of interested fans into their lives. Every featured employee ended up changing their phone numbers, dealt with bags of unsolicited fan mail, and on occasion were asked to make personal appearances. It was completely surreal as far as Jim was concerned.

The most annoying aspect of it all was the producer's requirement that they maintain the facade of the show. Because of the time lapse between the time it was filmed and the time it aired, the watching world believed Pam was still engaged to Roy, with Jim still playing the role of the pining best friend. That meant the reality of their lives - their new romantic relationship - had to be hidden away whenever they appeared in public or gave interviews. It irritated Jim because they'd waited so long to get to this point that he had no interest in hiding his feelings to anyone any longer. Jim thought it would be wonderful to fall back into anonymity, and just get back to being themselves. He'd almost forgotten what that was like.

By the time the women's meeting ended, the only people who still seemed curious about what was going on were Dwight and Jim. Jim swiveled around in his chair to see Pam's reaction to the events, but she uncharacteristically avoided meeting his gaze and headed straight back to her desk. Kelly was giggling, as was Phyllis, while Meredith had a smug look on her face. Angela looked more annoyed than usual, if that was even possible.

“So what's going on?” Dwight asked accusingly, standing up. Ryan glanced at Toby, who shrugged.

“Okay, we I guess we might as well explain what's happening here,” Ryan started.

Michael could keep quiet no longer. “They want our girls to get naked.”

“Michael,” Toby warned.

“Everyone, this is Samantha Weber,” Dan Beals said, stepping forward. “She's an associate editor from Playboy. Because the season finale of our little documentary is coming up soon, they would like to do a tie-in feature in their magazine called The Women of Dunder Mifflin.”

The general reaction to Dan's announcement was immediate and chaotic. Kevin's insane giggle was met with a gasp of “Oh my Lord,” from Stanley, while Oscar just shook his head in disbelief. Creed turned toward his computer, remembering he had some eBay auctions ending soon. Dwight stood up angrily, as if he were suddenly required to defend Angela's honor.

“That is completely unacceptable,” he said, glowering at Dan. “You can't force them to do something so degrading.”

“Nobody is forcing anyone to do anything, Dwight,” Toby said, stepping closer in case he need to stop what looked to be an imminent fight. “They are just here today to explain the possibility of some new marketing for the show.”

“Marketing?” Michael said crossly. “That's exactly the word I'd use for it. Meat Marketing. I should have known you'd support this, Toby. I bet you can't wait to see all that exposed flesh. You disgust me.”

Toby sighed and glanced over to Jim, hoping for some backup from a more levelheaded source. But Jim didn't appear to even be paying attention, his eyes focused more or less on the top of his desk. “Listen, this is still in the planning stages, so let's not get all worked up here,” Toby finally replied. “Ultimately, the final decision is up to the women, right?” He looked over at Samantha Weber.

“Oh, absolutely,” she said, taking a step forward. She was well aware that this was her moment to sell the men of the office on the idea. She'd made this type of speech many times in the past, and to be honest she was really quite good at it. She knew that getting their support would go a long way in convincing the women to take part.

“I know this plan probably does come as a shock to you, but it's really a wonderful opportunity for everyone. You may have seen our past articles on women from other companies - like McDonald's and WalMart and Home Depot - but this is really our first attempt to focus on such a small company. You're already in such a unique position, being the center of such a successful television show, and we think the magazine article can only make Dunder Mifflin that much more popular. And name recognition translates into dollars, which is something I'm sure you all can appreciate.”

“Who cares about money?” Michael mumbled.

“Michael,” Ryan warned.

“Anyway,” Samantha continued. “I've left all the paperwork with Toby, and I'll be back at the end of the week to see where we go from here.”

“Yeah, well, that's just great,” Michael said glumly. He turned and walked into his office, shutting the door behind him.

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“How do I feel about all of this?” Michael repeated, sitting straight up in his chair. “I think it should be obvious how I feel. I don't appreciate strangers coming into my office - into my family's office, my family's living room, if you like - and telling the women to take off all their clothes. That's my job.”

“And who's decision was it that everybody be included? I don't get that at all. I can understand wanting to see Pam naked. I mean, who doesn't? But Angela?” He made a face of complete disgust. “Or Phyllis? God... And trust me, nobody wants to see Meredith. I've been forced through that. It's just wrong.”

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“Of course Michael is overreacting,” Ryan sighed. “For a start, that associate editor made it pretty clear that it would be one of their tamer pictorials. No one one's going to be put in an uncomfortable position. They aren't even being asked to be nude if they don't wish to be, although I'm not going to be at all surprised if Kelly doesn't insist. I think the whole idea is more about sexing up the Dunder Mifflin image. Not that I don't already know how bizarre that is just to say, much less think about.”

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“Absolutely, positively not,” Angela huffed at the camera. “I can't believe you even have to ask. What would my family say? Or my friends from the church? No woman with any self-respect would just, just.... spreads it all out for the world to see. So to speak. It's completely ridiculous, and I'm just stunned that I work for a company that would condone this sort of 'marketing'. It's just another term for whorage. Commercial whorage. And I for one will have no part in it.

“As for the other women, Phyllis is a married woman, so I am sure she's as offended as I am. I have no illusions about other people, though. Kelly will do it. And of course Meredith. She's already shown more around here than what the magazine wants.”

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“Oh yeah,” Phyllis grinned, “I'm thinking about it. Why not? I've told Bobby about it and he says if you've got it, flaunt it.”

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Pam absentmindedly played with her necklace, her eyes not quite able to keep looking at the camera. “Well, I don't really know what to say. It's not something I ever thought I'd be in the position to consider, you know? I'm not exactly the material I would expect to see in Playboy.”

“Not that I've spent a lot of time looking. I mean, of course I've seen a copy of Playboy or two - Roy used to buy them, although he preferred the ones with less articles and more photos, like Maxim or Hustler. He had quite a stack of Hustlers out in the garage at one point. Anyway, I know that if you are going to take provocative photos and put them in a men's magazine, Playboy is probably the best choice. So there's that.”

“I suppose I should be flattered that Angela doesn't think I would pose. Obviously she must think I'm not completely past redemption, right? The truth is, though - I can't honestly say I've ruled it out. Sure, the old Pam would never do it, but I keep saying I'm not that girl anymore, right? So I guess I need to figure out what the new Pam will do.”

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Lunchtime arrived before Jim and Pam had even discussed this morning's events.

“Hey,” Jim slid into the seat next to hers at the back break room table.

“Hey yourself,” Pam replied, smiling softly.

Jim opened his soda, the quiet sound of fizzing and crinkling aluminum the only noise. “Wow, what a morning, huh?”

She nodded. “You could definitely say that.”

“So what happened in there?” He took a sip of his drink and opened up his lunch bag.

Pam shrugged. “Pretty much what that woman said afterwards. Playboy approached the documentary producers about having an article on us come out the same time as the season finale. They thought it was an interesting idea so they both went to New York and pitched it to Dunder Mifflin.”

“Who did they talk to? I just can't see Wallace agreeing to it.”

“I don't know. I think it's more likely they were only pitching the idea to the department that deals with marketing. And they would have been paying attention to the part where it would increase their profile. Besides, when other companies have made a fuss about Playboy approaching them, they tend to get mocked in the media.”

“Mocked?”

“Yeah, for being stuffy and prudish and not with the times. That sort of thing.”

“So you think maybe Dunder Mifflin is shooting for that cosmopolitan urban paper product buyer?”

Pam giggled. “Why not? Who else has got to them yet?”

“True. Anyone who's anyone knows never to walk into Staples.” They shared a smile and then continued eating in silence.

Jim ate his sandwich slowly, pausing often to look over at Pam. The third time she caught him she frowned. “What's the matter?” She asked.

“Nothing,” he replied. “I'm just thinking.”

“About?”

He looked as if he were weighing his words carefully. “I was just wondering if you were going to do it.”

“You mean be in the magazine?”

“Yeah. You haven't really told me what you think about it.”

Pam drew imaginary swirls on the table with her finger. “Well,” she said, glancing up at him, “it's a pretty crazy idea, don't you think?”

“Crazy is the word I would use, definitely.”

“I mean, if I had to make a list of things I never planned on doing, I'm sure posing in Playboy would be on the list.”

“That is an interesting idea for a list. What else would be on it?”

“Oh, all sorts of things I don't expect I'll get a chance to do, nor really desire to.”

“Is having sex with Dwight on that list?”

“Bleaugh,” she replied with an appropriate grimace. “It's locked in at number two.”

“Do I even want to know what would be less likely than having sex with Dwight?”

“I don't know. Do you want to know?”

“Tell me.”

Pam leaned in conspiratorially. “Marrying Roy.” She watched as the smile spread across his face.

“Good to know,” he replied.

“Yeah, I keep the list pretty much up-to-date,” she said.

“So I guess you turned her down then?”

“Oh no,” Pam shook her head. “She didn't want our decisions today. We have a whole folder of paperwork to look through before we decide.”

Jim made a face. “Are you seriously considering it?”

“I don't know yet. I'm still processing the fact it's been offered.”

“But it's on the list.”

“I know,” she nodded. “But did you know we'd get paid for doing it?”

“I hadn't really thought about it.”

“We would. And we aren't talking pennies. They'll give us the actual figure on Friday, but she said to expect compensation to be in the thousands of dollars - thousands!”

“Well money's not the only deciding factor, right?”

“No, of course not. But I certainly wouldn't have to worry about art school tuition with that in the bank.”

“You don't need to worry about it anyway,” Jim said seriously. “I've told you before I would be happy to help with that.”

“I know you have,” she said gently, a determined look in her eye. “But it's important that I do things for myself.”

“And posing in Playboy would really be for yourself?”

Pam tilted her head and stared at him for a moment. “You don't want me to do this, do you?”

Jim shifted in his chair and finished his soda before speaking. “It's entirely up to you. I just don't want you to regret anything.”

“But you don't want me to do it.”

“It's not my call. If you want to do it, that's fine. I'll support you.”

Pam smiled as she stood up, then leaned down to kiss his cheek. “Thanks.” She threw her trash into the garbage can near the door. “I better get back to the phones. Do you want to see all the paperwork she gave me later tonight?”

“Of course,” he nodded. “I'd love to see it.”

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“Yeah, it's been quite a day,” Jim sighed, giving his best resigned face to the camera. “You could certainly say that.”

“Does it surprise me that the Dunder Mifflin corporate executives would think splashing photos of 'The Women of Dunder Mifflin' in an upcoming issue of Playboy might result in more paper sales? The sad thing is that no, it absolutely doesn't. Something tells me they thought this was the best idea they'd heard in a long, long time. I mean, there's no such thing as bad publicity, right?” Jim bit his lip for a moment, then frowned slightly, only to immediately recover into a more neutral expression.

“I really don't know if it's going to happen or not. I guess it depends on whether they really need every woman in the office to do it, or if they're willing to just take who they can get. From what I overhead this afternoon, Kelly definitely wants to do it, which should come as a surprise to no one, as does Meredith. Phyllis is seriously considering it, and that shocks me less than it probably should. Angela is still seething with outrage so I'm guessing she's going to need a lot more encouragement before she signs up, and Karen isn't even part of the whole process because the current time line of the broadcasts mean she hasn't even been introduced yet. So she really lucked out.” He laughed slightly. “Wow, I still haven't gone to Stamford according to the rest of the world. How weird is that?”

“So, yeah - I guess that leaves Pam. She hasn't really said much about the whole thing yet, so I can't give you any inside scoop." He grinned.  "Not that I would if she had.  My impression is that she seems a bit freaked out about the whole idea, which is how I would feel in her position, so I would be really, really surprised if she agrees. She's just not that type of person. She likes her privacy, like I do, which is odd considering I'm sitting in front of a camera saying this, but it's true. So I guess what I'm saying is that I don't think she'll do it. I mean, I'm sure she won't. At least, I'm pretty sure she won't.”

Jim sat at his desk and rubbed his hands over his face. He hadn't had much sleep the previous night, his mind overcrowded with images of Pam in photos that left little to the imagination, disturbingly mixed with the resulting expressions on the faces of men who were looking at said photos.

To be honest, he felt a little ill. When the magazine offer was revealed yesterday, he had automatically assumed that there as no way Pam would be interested. The fact that she didn't reject the idea out of hand took him completely by surprise, and when they looked through the paper work Pam came home with - the release forms, the contract specifications, the 'Tips for a Great Photo Shoot' - he could tell that she really was weighing the possibility.

What was worse than the fear she would really go through with it was that he felt incredibly guilty about not wanting her to do it. One of the things he always felt confident about was his ability to be the kind of boyfriend Pam deserved. He swore he would always be there to support her, to encourage her to do anything she wanted to do. It never occurred to him that maybe one day she'd be interested in something like this.

He wasn't being prudish. Nudity wasn't something that offended him, especially not hers. So it wasn't as if he was morally opposed to her posing in Playboy. It was a selfish reason, pure and simple. He didn't want to share her with anyone, even if sharing translated into simply her image. In his mind there was already one man too many who had seen her naked. That was his reward, not anyone else's. He knew it was a Neanderthal reaction, but he just couldn't shake it. Which is why every time Pam turned to him for his opinion he found himself clamming up and brushing her off with the most inoffensive of answers. He didn't think he had the right to tell her not to do it, but it was the one thing he wanted most to say.

Jim was distracted from his misery by the arrival of Jan. Dressed in clingy knit capris and a t-shirt that probably fit before her enhancements, he heard Jan tell Pam she just got out of a yoga class and was hoping to talk to Michael. He wondered if Jan knew about the magazine offer, or more to the point, if she was going to be included. From Michael's reaction yesterday, he had a feeling Jan wasn't even aware of the news. When Jan disappeared into Michael's office, he walked up to Pam's desk.

“So did she say anything?”

Pam looked up from her solitaire game. “About what?”

Jim rolled his eyes comically. “About what?” He mocked. “About the nuclear weapons ban with North Korea. Does she know about the Playboy offer?”

“Oh!” Pam brought her hands to her mouth. “I hadn't even thought about that!”

“She is a cast member in the current show.”

“Did you just make air quotes around 'cast member'?” She grinned, mimicking his hand movement.

“Maybe.”

“You're such a dork,” she teased, “And no, she didn't say anything. But they didn't say anything about her yesterday, either. So who knows?”

“Think she'd agree to it?”

Pam smirked. “Is that a serious question? The woman has a great deal to share with the world these days.”

“True,” Jim said. “I can't imagine Michael will be pleased, though.”

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“Oh my God,” Kelly gushed. “I was on the phone all night with my girlfriends telling them the unbelievably awesome news about being in Playboy. Nobody could believe that I would really do that, but why wouldn't I? I'm mean, how cool is that? I could tell they were all totally jealous, but who could blame them?”

“I haven't told my parents, but they don't read Playboy anyway, so who cares, right? It's not like they'd ever find out. And besides, the photos I'll be in are going to look so good. I'm definitely not going to let them photograph me looking slutty or anything. It's going to be so classy and sophisticated. I hope we get to choose our own outfits, because I found the most adorable pink baby doll on the Victoria's Secret website. I really love how good I look in pink. I look really, really good in white too, but I think pink is better choice. But maybe they have the outfit in white. I should see if I can get both, just to be sure.”

“I wouldn't it put it past Ryan to have instigated this whole idea just so he could see me naked again. Or nearly naked, anyway. He knows what he's missing.”

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Jim was in the kitchen, pouring his third cup of coffee of the day, when Toby stepped in from the annex.

“Hey, Jim,” he greeted.

“Hey Toby,” Jim nodded, stirring his coffee.

Toby leaned back against the wall and stared at Jim for a moment. When Jim looked up and caught him staring, Toby cleared his throat. “So what do you make of yesterday's announcement?”

Jim couldn't help rolling his eyes a little. “Interesting.”

“Yeah,” Toby mused. “I have had to listen to Kelly calling up everyone she's ever met to talk about it.”

“That's got to be fun.”

“I'm thinking about investing in a pair of those noise protectors the guys out on the airline runways use. You know the ones I mean?”

Jim nodded and took a small sip of his hot coffee. “That might not be a bad idea. If you think they'll work.”

“If I could just tone it down to muffled roar I think it would be good enough.” They both laughed amicably, and stood in silence for another moment. Jim picked his mug back up off the counter and turned to the door.

“Hey, I was wondering,” Jim said slowly. “Are all the Dunder Mifflin women currently on the episodes that are airing going to be featured in Playboy?”

“That was my understanding. I mean, at least they would all get the offer.”

“Even Jan?”

“Ha,” Toby mused. “I hadn't thought about that. I suppose so.”

“You don't know?”

“Well, I didn't see a folder with her name on it in the stack Samantha gave us.” Toby shook his head. “But, as I recall they had been in Michael's hands before I got to them.”

“She's in his office right now, if you want to ask.”

Toby chuckled softly. “Yeah, I think that would go over really well, even if she knew. I'm going to call Samantha first. Make sure Jan's included.”

Jim nodded. “Well, good luck with that. Guess I better be getting back to work.”

“Yeah,” Toby said. He put his hand out toward Jim. “Hey, did Pam say what she's going to do about the offer?”

“I honestly don't know yet. I know she's thinking about doing it, but she's not decided anything definitely.”

“So do you mind if she does it?” Toby asked.

Jim raised an eyebrow at the question. If it was anyone other than Toby he might have given some non-committal response. But he considered Toby a friend, and figured if nothing else, he could always claim HR confidentiality. He looked down at his coffee and then back at his friend. “I hope she doesn't do it,” he said quietly.

Toby nodded. “I can understand that. Does she know how you feel?”

“Nah,” Jim shook his head slightly. “It's her decision. I want her to do what she wants.”

“You're better than I am then. If I had a girlfriend like Pam I don't think I'd be able not to ask her not to put her picture in a national men's magazine dressed in next to nothing. I'm pretty sure the pictures go on their website, too.”

“Wow, thanks,” Jim said dryly, “I hadn't even thought about that. Good to know.”

“I mean I haven't picked up one of those magazines in a while, but I think even if the women are dressed in the layouts, it's mostly in really revealing outfits. It would be quite something to see Pam doing that.”

“Thanks, Toby,” Jim cut in, tilting his head toward the door. “I really need to get back and make some phone calls.”

“Oh right, sure.” Toby flushed slightly. “And I mean it would be something to see in the fact that she doesn't seem to be the type that would do it. Not that I was implying I actually wanted to see her like that.”

“No, of course not,” Jim replied, suddenly a bit awkward at the whole exchange. “I knew what you meant.”

“Okay, good,” Toby said. “Well, let me know when Pam decides what she's going to do.”

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Andy walked into the kitchen just as Dwight closed the refrigerator. “Schrute,” Andy acknowledged.

“Bernard,” Dwight spit back.

Andy washed his mug in the sink, aware that Dwight was watching him. “So, tell me, what do you make of this whole Women of Dunder Mifflin thing?” Andy asked him. “I think it's the best idea this company has had in a long, long time.”

Dwight scoffed. “I do not see how printing the pictures of female members of the office staff in an adult magazine can possibly increase paper sales and revenues.”

“Oh, I think you're wrong there, my friend,” Andy replied, reaching for a paper towel to dry his cup. “I think you are missing the point of good business entirely.”

“I am not your friend,” Dwight corrected him. “But continue. Why would it be good for business?”

“Because the majority of people in a position to buy our product are men. And every man I know likes to take time out and smell the roses - or in this case have a look at some pretty ladies. Ladies who are wearing as little as possible. Who knows, the response might be so overwhelming we'll need to start printing annual Ladies of Dunder Mifflin calendars.”

“Unlikely,” Dwight snorted.

“Besides, who here doesn't want to see what's under those skirts out there?” Andy winked.

“That's disgusting. And inappropriate.”

“Oh, come on now,” Andy chided. “Pam has got to be hiding some primo goods under those sweaters. Kelly's already nice to look at, as long as you don't have to listen to her. Even Angela has got it going on, actually. Now there's an ice princess I'd like to see melt a bit.”

Dwight glared at him and stepped forward menacingly. “You will shut up immediately or I will be forced to pummel you.”

“Whoa, back off,” Andy replied, his hands raising defensively. “It's not like I'm saying anything bad about them. Quite the opposite, in fact. I'm just appreciating our assets.”

“Keep it to yourself, Bernard,” Dwight hissed as he walked out.

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“I talked to Samantha Weber briefly this afternoon, and it looks like yes, they did want Jan Levinson included in the Women of Dunder Mifflin article. Since there was no folder for her in the paper work I was given yesterday, this means that Michael must have it.”

“I haven't approached either Jan or Michael yet. You know this isn't going to end well.”

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Jim pushed open the break room door and walked over to Pam, who was standing next to the soda machine. “Okay, I'm here. So what's with the cryptic email you sent me?”

Pam pushed the fax sheet in her hand up to his nose. “Look. Your girlfriend just faxed me their official compensation letterr. She said they were making me a different offer to what the rest of the women in the office were getting.”

Jim took the paper out of her hand and began to read. Then he felt he really, really needed to sit down. He vaguely remembered pulling out the chair and falling into it. He read the short fax over again, confirming that he had indeed read it correctly. He handed it back to Pam without saying a word.

“Can you believe it?” Pam asked, her eyes wide. “I mean, that's a lot of money.”

“Yeah, it's a lot of money,” he agreed. “But they are asking a lot from you too, don't you think?”

Pam pulled up a chair next to him. “Oh, I'm not saying they aren't, but I mean - look at this.”

“I see it.”

“She told me on the phone that they are offering everyone else ten thousand dollars to pose, but they aren't asking for full nudity. And here they are offering me fifteen thousand just for posing, but they'll bump it up to twenty-five thousand if I'll agree to pose nude. That is unbelievable!”

“That's the word I'd use,” Jim murmured weakly.

Jim ran his hand along his jaw as he watched Pam studying the fax. He could feel a headache coming on. “Is that all you wanted to show me?” He asked, “because I really should get back to my desk.”

“You really should get back to your desk?” Pam's tone was incredulous. “Now there's a first.”

Jim shrugged as he stood up. “Yeah. I have some calls to make.”

Pam looked at him silently for a moment, a slight frown appearing. “So you have no opinion on this offer?”

Jim seemed to look everywhere but at her. “It's your decision,” he replied. He turned and walked out of the room before Pam could say anything more.

Pam sat quietly in the break room, lost in thought, until some shouting out in the main office area caught her attention. She went to see what was happening, and found the following tableau: Michael standing in front of the conference room, glaring at Toby, while Jan stood leaning in the doorway of Michael's office, arms crossed.

“You had no right,” Michael spit at Toby.

“I'm the liaison with Samantha Weber. Jan needed to know about the offer.”

“Well, she doesn't want to do it. So you can just forget about leering at her naked body. Pervert.”

Pam glanced over to Jim, who rolled his eyes at the confrontation. For a moment their conflict was forgotten, as they shared the humor of the current situation. Jan pushed off the door frame and came up behind Michael.

“I will be doing the layout, Toby.” She said pointedly.

“Jan!” Michael spun around. “You can't. I completely forbid it.”

“Don't be ridiculous, Michael. Of course I can.”

Michael opened his mouth to speak but no words came out. He glanced between Jan's coolly assured smile and Toby's uncomfortable fidgeting. “Toby, you're - you're fired,” he grumbled, walking past Jan and into his office, shutting the door loudly behind him.

“He can't fire me,” Toby said to no one in particular.

“Don't worry about him,” Jan replied, guiding him back toward the annex. “Let's get Ms. Weber on the phone so she can send over new paperwork. I'm willing to bet Michael's already had it destroyed.”

Pam was back at her desk for only a few moments when Michael rang her desk, asking her to come into his office. “What do you need, Michael?” She sighed.

“I just need you in here,” was his muffled reply.

Pam knew it was going to be a session of holding Michael's hand, and she automatically looked over at Jim as she stood up. She mouthed the words Save Me to him as she walked past, but he smiled and put his hands up helplessly. She successfully punched him in the arm just before opening Michael's door, the surprised “Hey!” from Jim giving her the first real smile of the afternoon. It disappeared, however, as soon as she saw Michael face down at his desk.

“What's the matter?” She asked, sitting down in the chair across from him. She knew what the matter was, but had long ago learned it was easier to play dumb. He was going to tell the whole story whether she admitted she already knew it or not.

“How could she do this to me?” He moaned, his voice slightly garbled as his head was still resting on his folded arms across the top of his desk.

“Do what, Michael?”

“Everything,” he wailed, finally lifting his head to look at Pam. “She's ruining my life.”

Pam bit back a sigh. She'd never met anyone so melodramatic in all her life, and had she not already been dealing with the tangible stress she was feeling from Jim, she might have been able to sit back and enjoy the show. As it was she just want to smack Michael, much like you do to stop a case of hysterics in its tracks.

“Okay,” she said, pulling her chair closer to the desk. She then grabbing the cube of post-it notes and a pen. “Give me all the ways she's ruining your life.”

Michael sniffed and sat up straighter, clearly pleased to be getting the attention he wanted. “Well, for starters she's been living with me for months now, and I can't find any of my stuff!”

“A fair complaint,” she encouraged, writing something down. “Lost stuff.”

“And the whole condo either smells like lavender or gingersnaps anymore.”

“And you don't like those smells?”

“No, actually they're pretty nice,” he replied.

“Then how is that ruining your life?”

“Well, maybe not everything she does is ruining it,” he snapped, “but it's certainly been changed.”

Pam put the pen down. “That's what happens when people start living together, Michael. It takes some time to get used to all the change.”

Michael stared down at his hands. “Yeah, maybe,” he mumbled. “But it's like she doesn't even listen to me.”

“About what? About living together?”

“No, about this damn Playboy thing. I really don't want her to pose nude for Playboy.”

Pam nodded. “And when she got the offer, you told her you didn't want her to do it?”

“Of course I did. I would have given her the contract if I'd wanted her to do it.”

“Wait,” Pam paused. “So did she know about it before you told her you didn't want her to do it?”

“Well, she certainly found out when big-mouthed Toby came walking in here and spilled it to her!”

“Michael,” Pam shook her head slightly. “You can't make that decision for her.”

“Yeah, that's clear enough.” He leaned back in his chair and swiveled side to side petulantly.

Pam sat quietly, unable to ignore the parallels she was seeing between this and her suspicions about Jim. “Why don't you want her to do it?” She finally asked.

“Oh, I don't know, Pam. Why would I want hundreds, maybe thousands of other guys looking at her all naked and stuff?”

“She's not going to be completely naked, Michael.”

Michael waved his hand dismissively at her. “What they will make her wear will leave next to nothing to the imagination, I'm sure,” he replied. “So what's the difference?”

“Do you think she's not attractive enough to be in the magazine?” Again Pam felt like she was directing these questions to the wrong person, but maybe it was good practice.

“Oh, she's more than beautiful enough,” he immediately said. “Have you seen some of the women they feature? I mean, especially now - I have no doubts Jan could certainly hold her own. And they probably would want her to,” he added, amused at his own joke.

Pam cringed inwardly at his comment, but she was working toward her point. “So you've got nothing to be ashamed of to have Jan as your girlfriend, looking really good in those pictures? I mean, isn't it kind of a reflection on you?”

Michael's brow furrowed, as if he were considering what she said. Then suddenly his fact lit up in a bright smile. “You know, Pam,” he said, leaning across the desk toward her, “You are absolutely right. This lets everyone know what a hot girlfriend I've got.”

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Meredith was gently smudging eye liner under her left eye when Angela walked into the bathroom.

“What are you doing?” Angela asked, a note of disdain evident.

Meredith was used to Angela's demeanor and chose to ignore it. “I picked up some new eye shadows at lunch today. I figure if we are going to be professionally photographed I should at least make an effort to find some colors that suit me.”

Angela stood next to the sink and watched Meredith. “So I take it you've already made up your mind about that.”

“Of course - aren't you going to do it?”

Angela clicked her tongue against her teeth in a sound of disapproval. “Of course I'm not. The whole idea is repulsive and unprofessional.”

Meredith couldn't help but smile. “The whole idea puts ten thousand extra dollars in my pocket, and I don't find that offensive in the slightest.”

“Well, no, I didn't expect you would turn the offer down.”

Meredith turned from the mirror to face Angela. “And what does that mean?” Sometimes that petite blonde really did get on her nerves.

Angela stood a little straighter, aware that this conversation was quickly turning into a confrontation. “It means that nobody is going to be surprised to see you naked.”

Meredith let out a loud laugh, a reaction Angela was certainly not expecting. “No, maybe they wouldn't be,” Meredith agreed. “But you do know that we aren't going to be naked, right? And we have final say so on how provocatively dressed we are willing to be. So I'm totally going for provocative, not naked. It says that in the contract if you'd bothered to read it.”

“Still,” Angela huffed, a bit taken aback with this news. Of course she hadn't read the contract. She'd made quite an effort to announce to everyone that she didn't want anything to do with the whole idea. She didn't want to think about why she hadn't just thrown it all away right after the meeting, like she knew she should have. The fact that the paperwork was still hidden in the bottom drawer of her desk gnawed at her a little. Maybe she should read the contract.

“Besides, I suspect your, um, personality is well known by the people who watch our show,” Meredith continued, her voice drawing Angela out of her momentary reverie. “They would not expect you to do it. That's why it would be such a hoot if you did.”

“There is no way I'd do such a thing,” Angela replied, aware that her tone didn't have quite the bark it usually did.

“I'm just saying you should consider it. They'd probably be so thrilled to have you take part that you could be as prim and proper as you'd like. Maybe they'd even let you be photographed with your cats.”

Meredith zipped up the make-up bag in front of her and headed toward the door. “Just think about it, Angela,” she called over her shoulder.

Angela turned on the faucet and started scrubbing her hands. Meredith was crazy, of course. There was no amount of money worth degrading oneself like that. But she had to admit she didn't hear the part about nudity not being a requirement. Not that it made it much better, she told herself as she grabbed a paper towel to dry her hands. Those pictures would still be published in a magazine she could have no part of. She was still lost in thought when she walked out of the bathroom and nearly ran right into Dwight standing in the kitchen.

“Are you okay, Monkey?” He whispered, even though they were the only two in the kitchen.

“Of course I'm fine,” she snapped. “And I've told you not to call me that at work.”

“Sorry, Mon-” Dwight stopped. “I mean, Angela.”

Angela nodded her acceptance of the apology and headed toward the door. Suddenly she stopped and looked back at Dwight. “Do you think they really would photograph me with my cats?” She asked.

“What?” Dwight was completely confused.

Angela just shook her head sharply. “Oh, never mind,” she said, and headed back to her desk.

~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+

Kevin shifted in his chair, his eyes already dancing with merriment.

“What do I think of Playboy spread?” He barely got the last word out before he broke down in giggles. “Man, do you really have to ask?”

He took a deep breath and wiped his eyes. “Okay, seriously,” he said, though his face looked anything but. “I think it's more than a little weird that the day before we found out about this I received an email offering to renew my Playboy subscription for two more years at only nineteen ninety-five per year. That's a savings of seventy-eight percent off the cover price. That is a lot of money to save. A lot. So now they can publish the pictures at any time over the next two years and five months and I will have a copy coming right to my mailbox.” He smiled broadly. “And that is sweet.”

“I don't see why they wouldn't do it. I hear the money is pretty good for just standing there getting your photo taken.” Kevin paused. “I take that back. I'm pretty sure Angela won't do it. I mean, I really hope Angela won't do it. That's an image that would haunt me for the rest of my life.”

“I think it's safe to say that I'm most looking forward to seeing Pam naked. I mean, I was a little bummed out to hear that Karen wasn't going to be posing, because she's totally hot, but I think Pam will do the best job, if you know what I mean.” Kevin giggled again, but pressed his hand against his mouth and took another deep breath. “I figure Jim will be able to tell us which parts were airbrushed and which parts were real.” The giggles returned, this time unstoppable.

"That is going to be SO awesome."

~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+

The last hours of the work day passed slowly for Pam, and she was very aware of the reason why. Ever since she showed Jim the compensation fax, he'd been studiously ignoring her. They hadn't been this silent to each other in months, and it brought back all the unpleasant memories of how life was before they finally started being honest with each other. That's what was happening now, she knew. They were falling back into their old bad habits of building walls instead of trusting each other. Jim had been distant and distracted ever since they got the Playboy offer, and it didn't take a genius to know why. What she didn't understand was why he wouldn't tell her if this was bothering him.

With less than an hour left of the work day, and Michael having left with Jan sometime after three, Pam finally gave in and opened a chat screen.

pbeesly: You've been silent today.

jhalpert: Well, sometimes I really do work around here.

pbeesly: Really? What's that like?

jhalpert: Unbelievable. You should try it.

pbeesly: :-P

jhalpert: :-)

Pam sighed. They were both entirely too skilled at acting like nothing was wrong. She decided to take a more direct approach.

pbeesly: Did you notice that I managed to talk Michael into actually liking the Playboy idea?

jhalpert: How could I have missed it? When he told Phyllis that she should 'shake her maracas' in front of the camera I thought I was going to have a seizure.

pbeesly: LOL - it looked like she was feeling the same way.

jhalpert: So why did you do it, Beesly?

pbeesly: Do what, Halpert?

jhalpert: Turn Michael to the Dark Side.

pbeesly: The Dark Side? You've been hanging around Dwight too much.

jhalpert: Seriously. What could you have possibly said to change his mind?

pbeesly: I just asked him if he was embarrassed of Jan or if he thought she was pretty enough to be in the magazine.

jhalpert: Ah.

pbeesly: Yeah, he said he hadn't thought of it like that, and that he wasn't ashamed of her.

Pam glanced up as she hit enter, and she watched Jim's eyes scan her comment, then meet her gaze. She could tell he was well aware of what she was trying to do.

jhalpert: I don't think it's an issue of being ashamed of someone doing that.

pbeesly: No? Then what is it?

jhalpert: Some people are just more private than others. I got the impression that Michael just didn't want anyone in his 'bidness'.

pbeesly: His 'bidness', huh?

jhalpert: Yep.

pbeesly: And you agree with him?

He didn't immediate reply, and when Pam looked over, he was staring at her in an odd way.

jhalpert: I can see his point. It's not something everyone would be comfortable with.

Pam took a deep breath and typed with shaking fingers what she really wanted to say.

pbeesly: And what about you?

jhalpert: I've already told you more than once.

pbeesly: So why do I get the feeling you aren't happy for me? If I want to do it, I mean.

jhalpert: Who says I'm not?

pbeesly: You've looked happier. Trust me on that one.

jhalpert: I'm fine. I don't think it really concerns me.

pbeesly: Oh, it doesn't?

jhalpert: I've told you before that it's your decision.

pbeesly: I know. That's about all you seem willing to say lately.

jhalpert: Can we please talk about this later? In private?

pbeesly: Fine.

jhalpert: We can talk about it tonight.

pbeesly: I don't know.

jhalpert: I thought you said you were going to come over tonight.

pbeesly: Actually I think I have a bit of laundry I need to do.

jhalpert: I could come over to your place then. I have excellent laundry skills.

pbeesly: I don't know. Maybe tomorrow.

Jim frowned at his monitor, but didn't have the courage to look up over at Pam. She was angry, and maybe it was just better to stay out of her way for a while.

jhalpert: Okay, fine.

Pam felt her eyes starting to sting. He wasn't even going to try any harder to see her tonight?

pbeesly: Yeah, well great. Well I'm going to leave early. Goodbye.

Jim watched as Pam wasted no time in standing up, grabbing her purse and her jacket, and heading out the door. She didn't stop to look at him even once.

“I'm not quite sure what there is to talk about at eight-fifteen in the morning,” Jim complained as the assistant director prompted him to start his segment. “I'm not even sure what day it is yet.”

“No, everything's fine. Just another day here at Dunder Mifflin. Let's see,” he paused, looking down at the floor. “I have three phone calls to return regarding paper orders, and a sales call at the administrative offices of Moses Taylor hospital at three. That's about as exciting as it's going to get, I'm afraid.”

“Pam?” Jim frowned slightly, and ran his hand self-consciously through his hair. “She's fine. We're fine. Nothing exciting on that front either. Sorry guys.”

“No, we didn't do anything last night. We don't usually go out during the week.” Jim bit his lip, and his foot tapped impatiently. “I'm not sure what you want me to say.” He looked over his shoulder to see who was walking past the conference room.

“Are we done now?”

~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+

It was four minutes past nine when Pam finally walked in the door. Jim knew this because he'd been anxiously watching the clock tick away, and he'd been eleven minutes away from giving in and calling her. He cocked his eyebrow at her, his look asking her the obvious question.

Pam glanced at Jim as she walked in, and could tell from his expression that her absence had been noticed. She smiled weakly in his direction, but she was feeling a little too nervous to acknowledge him. She had spent last night feeling badly for how she'd left things, and how she'd made it so painfully clear she didn't want to see him that night. In the end she felt like she'd only punished herself, because the night seemed to drag on and she found herself many times a step away from calling him. But pride won out, and in the end she went to bed early, even though sleep eluded her. This morning she was tired, both physically and mentally. She didn't want to fight anymore. Or more accurately, she didn't want to do this little dance they were doing to avoid fighting. As she walked behind the reception desk she gave Jim a look that she hoped expressed her regret.

He couldn't resist getting up out of his chair and walking over to her desk. “Car trouble?” He asked nonchalantly, looking for any excuse to start a conversation.

“No,” she said slowly, a bit confused by this statement.

“Oh. I just trying to guess why you were late.”

“I had a hard time getting moving this morning. I didn't sleep too well,” she said, putting her purse in her desk and sitting down.

“Funny, he mused casually, even as he felt his insides shaking, “I didn't either. Maybe there's something going around.” Their eyes met briefly, each wearing an expression that wavered between hopeful and guarded.

Pam looked down at her hands. “Hey, I'm really sorry about yesterday,” she finally said.

“Not a big deal,” he shrugged, his focus centered on picking out the red jelly beans from the container.

“Yes it was. I shouldn't have ended things like that,” she replied. Jim just shrugged again.

“I missed you last night.” She added, barely loud enough for him to hear.

That got his attention. His eyebrows rose as he met her steady gaze. “I missed you, too,” he replied, his voice a bit gravelly. He smiled slightly and jerked his head back toward the kitchen. “You want to get some tea?”

“Please,” she smiled, standing up to follow him. The day was already looking a bit brighter to Pam.

~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+

“So I had a talk with the little lady last night,” Michael smiled, “and I told her all the reasons it was a good idea to appear in Playboy. She was a little hesitant, but I told her how proud I was of her and, uh, all her assets, and that I wanted everyone to know what I knew. To be able to say that they saw what I see in her. She finally agreed to the idea.”

“I really want the men of America to look at those photos of Jan and say 'Wow, that Michael Scott is really doing a great job in the women department. I wish I was getting what he's getting.”

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Pam stood in silence as her tea brewed, the only interaction between her and Jim being brief glances that were met with small encouraging smiles. She picked up her mug after it was ready, and sighed.

“So do you want to talk about it now or later?” She asked.

“Well, I'd rather not talk in the middle of the office where someone might overhear us and think we're fighting.”

“You mean we aren't fighting?” She replied dubiously.

“You know what I mean,” he replied.

“Well, the email Phyllis sent me last night made it pretty clear she was worried we were breaking up or something.”

“Really?” Jim looked genuinely surprised. “Why would she think that?”

“Apparently she saw the death glare I gave you before I left yesterday.”

Jim had to laugh. “Did you assure her we are fine?”

“I don't know if we are fine,” she replied, her eyes questioning. “That's kind of why I think we need to talk.”

“Pam,” he said, his brow furrowing. “We're fine. I mean, we're fine from where I'm at.”

“That's why you avoid talking about the one thing I keep asking you about?”

Jim stared down at the floor, as if he had never noticed the linoleum there before. “I don't know what you want me to say.”

It was then that Phyllis opened the kitchen door. She noticed how startled both Jim and Pam had looked at the sound of her arrival and she stopped mid-stride in the doorway.

“Oh, dear,” she said apologetically, “I'm sorry to interrupt. I'll come back later.” She disappeared back into the main office area before either one could protest or stop her.

“See what I mean?” Pam said. “Listen, I know Michael has a call with Ryan at around ten-thirty, so as soon as I patch that through I'll meet you on the roof. That should give us enough time.”

“Enough time for what?”

“Enough time for you to either talk to me, or have me kick your ass,” she grinned challenging. “Your choice.”

“Wow. Nice choices.” Jim muttered, causing Pam to giggle delightedly as she walked back to her desk.

~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+

“I think it's a great idea, I really do,” Creed nodded. “I don't know why we haven't done this sort of thing before. Celebration of the body is a glorious thing.”

“I have, of course, done my share of nude work. Photography, mostly, but I've dabbled in other mediums. All tastefully done, some with women, some with men, some with as many people as we could fit in the frame. There's no shame in showing one's body, and like a fine wine it ages beautifully with time.”

“Of course back then all of that was done for free, just one more example of self-expression. How much did you say we are getting paid? Maybe Alice knows.”

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The hour passed far too quickly for Jim's liking, and when the phone rang at exactly ten-thirty he seriously contemplated asking Michael if he needed him to take part in a conference call. The realization that he would even considered such an idea made him finally admit to himself that he needed to come clean to Pam. His discomfort and guilt was literally pushing him to the edge of sanity.

He stood up when he heard Pam telling Ryan to wait a minute while she connected him, and took the stairs two at a time on his way to the roof to try and burn some nervous energy. He knew the right thing to do was to tell her the truth, to tell her how he felt, even if it was the opposite of what she wanted. But part of him still wasn't one hundred percent certain that their relationship wouldn't just fall apart over the most trivial of matters, and it seemed easier to hide the truth than face an unpleasant alternative. They just hadn't been together long enough for him to totally accept it was all real. He had set out the lawn chairs and was pacing behind them when Pam finally joined him.

“Hey,” she greeted him.

“Hey,” he replied, indicating she should sit.

“Wow, these chairs are really starting to look like hell,” she commented. “We should buy some new ones.”

“Oh, I don't know,” Jim said, sinking into the lawn chair next to her. “These have a lot of history.”

“True,” she nodded. “But we could always get chaise lounges this time.”

“Chaise lounges? And what exactly would we need those for, Miss Beesly?”

“You could stretch out for a nap on one,” she offered.

“Yeah, naps,” Jim mocks. “That's exactly what you had in mind.”

“Why, what else would you use them for?” She grinned. “Admit it – you wouldn't turn down the offer of sneaking away for a nap in the middle of the workday sometime.”

“It depends who's sneaking up to nap with me. I mean, I can't have any snorers around ruining a good nap.” He raised his eyebrow accusingly.

“I have no idea what you're talking about.”

“Yeah, of course you don't. You don't snore. At all.”

“I think you're confusing me with Kevin.”

“Maybe,” he grinned. “You'd be surprised how often I do that.”

Pam giggled. “That would explain a lot of things.”

“Shut up,” Jim laughed.

“You started it.”

“Whatever, Beesly.”

“So when did you start sleeping with Kevin?” Pam teased.

“I'm not sure that's any of your business.”

“Really?”

“Really. A man's allowed to have his secrets.”

Pam giggled. “Fine. I just wanted to know if I should be thanking Kevin or not.”

“Thanking him?”

“Yeah, clearly you've picked up your skills somewhere.”

“I suspect you're no longer talking about naps.”

“Maybe I just think you are a very skilled nap-taker.”

“Now you are trying to flatter me.”

“Obviously.” They gazed at each other for a moment, then Pam reached for his hand, hoping not to lose the rapport they'd fallen back into so easily. Jim interweaved his fingers through hers, and Pam squeezed his hand before speaking again. “So you want to tell me what's really been going on with you since Tuesday's announcement?”

Jim stared down at their joined hands, then out into the glare of the morning sun. “I don't think you are going to much like what I think about that.”

“I kinda figured that out already,” she replied evenly. “But what I like even less is feeling like you don't trust me enough to tell me what you're really thinking.”

He glanced over at her. “I do trust you.”

“Then talk to me, Jim.”

Jim sighed. “I'm not very proud of how I feel about it,” he began. “I mean, I want to be there to support you, but if you want my honest reaction, then I'd have to say that I wish you wouldn't do it.”

“Why?” She asked, not sounding surprised or angry or upset. She was simply curious.

“I guess I'm being selfish.”

“Selfish can be okay,” Pam replied. “But in what way?”

“In the obvious, completely illogical way,” Jim said. “I don't want everyone to see you like that.” Jim shook his head, as if he were fighting with himself to say the right thing. “I want to tell you not to do it, and I know that's stupid. I know that. It's just that – well, you're mine. Finally mine.”

There, it was now out there, the feelings he'd been trying to suppress and rationalize away. He felt his face flushing with the embarrassment of feeling so unreasonable about the whole thing. But she had asked – she'd practically pushed him into confession. He heard the sound of Pam's chair dragging against the gravel as she scooted closer to him. He turned to look at her when he felt her hand brush against his cheek.

“It's okay,” she said.

“It's not okay,” he grimaced. “And I already know I don't have the right to tell you what to do and what not to do. I'm not Roy.”

“Oh my god,” Pam replied, followed by a chuckle. “So what you're really saying is that your problem really lies in your need to prove to me that you aren't Roy?”

“Well, maybe partly,” Jim admitted, which only made Pam laugh louder. “I'm glad you find that so amusing.”

Pam shook her head. “No, you don't understand. I have no doubt that Roy would be completely for me posing in Playboy. That's why I think it's funny.”

Jim was confused. “He'd want you to do it?”

Pam nodded. “A few years back one of his buddies was bragging how he had taken photos of his girlfriend and they'd been published in some magazine's readers' section. Roy begged me for months to do it too, but I refused.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah.”

“So you refused then, but you're thinking about it now?”

“The magazine he was interested in was not exactly professional or dignified, as I'm sure you can imagine. And I wouldn't have been paid for it.”

“The money is really that important to you?”

“Jim, just the basic fee is more than I make in six months here. You can't tell me you don't understand that.”

Jim shrugged. “I guess not.”

“But no, it's not the only reason.” She squeezed his hand again. “The old me would never consider doing such a thing. I've been trying to decide if the new me would.”

“Well, as far as I'm concerned you have nothing to prove by doing this. We both know how much you've changed, and you are already the bravest person I know.” Jim still found it hard to look her in the eye, so he kept his gaze focused on the Scranton skyline. “But again, the decision really is up to you.”

“You keep saying that you don't have a right to tell me what to do.”

“I don't.”

“Maybe,” she nodded. “Maybe you don't have the right to tell me what I can and can't do. But you do have the right – have an obligation, really – to tell me how you feel about what I'm doing, or what I'm thinking of doing. You've earned that right at least, don't you think? I would certainly tell you how I felt if the situation was reversed.”

He finally looked at her again. “And would you want me posing in Playgirl?”

“Seriously?” She thought a moment. “If I could come along to the photo session, I don't think I'd mind it.”

“Yeah, right. You're just saying that - “

“No, I'm not,” Pam interrupted. “I guess I just don't think it's a big deal, and if you thought there was something to gain from it, I'd say go for it.” She leaned her head against his shoulder. “Having said that, it does matter to me that you'll be unhappy if I decide to do it.”

“I know,” Jim replied. “And the truth is that I'd probably get over it.”

“You probably would. Would it help if I gave you complete creative control?”

Jim laughed. “What does that mean?”

“I mean you tell me what you'd be willing to compromise on. I assume you'd prefer clothed to nude, right?”

“If I had to choose,” he nodded. “I think that would be a given.”

“Okay,” she grinned. “Then it is. You can now help me pick out what clothes I should wear.”

“I'm not sure what they'll want you to wear can even be called clothes.”

“Lingerie then. But will you help me?”

Jim was quiet for a moment. “Will this involve you just pointing things out in a catalog, or will there be live demonstrations of the choices?”

Pam tried to hid her smirk. “Oh, I don't think catalogs would do at all, do you?”

“No, you're right,” he nodded. “I'd definitely need to see you in the lingerie. Probably multiple times. This could take hours to determine. Maybe days.”

“So is that a yes or no?” Pam smiled up at him, knowing that things were going to be okay.

Jim cleared his throat. “I guess I'll have to clear my calendar.”

And so it was Friday. The day of the big decision. Samantha Weber had arranged to return to the office that afternoon at one, to collect the signed paperwork and set up scheduling for the photo shoot. There was a tangible feeling of excitement as people arrived for work, and a quiet whispering as to whether Pam or Phyllis or even Angela was going to agree to do it.

Jim was in a surprisingly good mood, considering that he knew Pam had decided to go ahead and agree to it. They'd continued their discussion about it the night before, with Pam eager to assure him that nothing but good could come of it. They'd paged their way through a Victoria's Secret catalog, looking for outfits that would fit their compromise, but after a while the magazine was discarded in favor of a more hands-on approach. The fact that Pam had ended up wearing nothing at all was more a sign of what Jim wanted to see personally and not what he wanted splashed across the magazine. He was pretty sure Pam was aware of that distinction. All the same, when he saw Pam walk in, he gave her a barely perceptible head nod, and sauntered into the kitchen to wait for her.

"You summoned?" She teased as she joined him.

"Hey," he smiled. "You got into work quicker than expected."

"I can shower and change in a flash when I have to," she smiled. "Though I agree that perhaps I should start leaving a change of clothes at your place."

"Speaking of," Jim mused. "I don't believe we actually finalized your, um, wardrobe selections last night."

"No? I got the distinct impression you felt less was more."

Jim took a sip of the freshly pour coffee he held. "Yes, I was afraid of that. I should have been clearer when professional opinion stopped and personal opinion began."

Pam removed the tea bag from her mug and dropped it in the trash. "You did seem to slide into a bit of an incomprehensible mess as the evening progressed."

"Shut up," he laughed. "I'm only human, after all."

Pam's grinned wickedly. "So you keep telling me, but I'm not convinced."

Kevin stepped into the small room before Jim could respond. "Hey guys," Kevin said, his lack of complete awakeness obvious. "Is that coffee fresh?"

"Made just for you, Kev," Jim replied, stepping back from the counter to give the larger man room.

"Awesome." Kevin poured a mug's worth then turned to look at Pam, the corners of his mouth turning up in cross between a smile and a leer. "So, you ready for today?"

"I guess," Pam replied. "It's just the meeting today anyway. They won't start taking pictures until next week at the earliest."

"I know," Kevin nodded. "But I'm sure you'll be talking about those pictures today."

"Okay, well I've got to get back to my desk," Jim interjected, "but Pam, I'll send you my schedule of availability for the next round of meetings we were just discussing."

Pam nodded as seriously as she could. "Thanks. I better go get started on that." They both left Kevin standing in the kitchen, his mind still imagining the kind of photos that were sure to be appearing in Playboy soon.

==

"I don't know how the payment is going to work, but I really hope we get paid before we actually pose," Meredith reflected. "I mean, the transmission of my van is sounding worse and worse, and sometimes it needs to be coaxed into reverse. With that money I think I'll finally be able to trade that thing in for a nice two-door something. Nobody dreams of driving a mini-van."

==

jhalpert: Have you decided how you are going to sign Kevin's copy?

pbeesly: shut up :-P

jhalpert: come on - you know he's going to ask you.

pbeesly: I know, I know. Trust me - it's the one reason I was tempted to decline the offer.

jhalpert: how much do you want to bet he asks you to sign it with a red Sharpie marker?

pbeesly: eh, I'm not so sure on the color, but I know he's going to ask me to sign right across my boobs.

jhalpert: Or ass - depends on the pose I guess.

pbeesly: Again, shut up! It's not funny. Stop grinning over there!!

jhalpert: Hey, such is the price of fame! :-D

pbeesly: You didn't find this so amusing a few days ago.

jhalpert: I'm learning to see the bright side of things, Pam.

pbeesly: And this is one of them??

jhalpert: In a twisted way, yes.

pbeesly: So are you going to ask me to autograph your copy?

jhalpert: Copy?

pbeesly: You aren't going to buy an issue?

jhalpert: You sound like you are assuming I'm only going to be buying one. I plan on making numerous purchases of said copy.

pbeesly: Oh right. ;-P

jhalpert: I am! I've got to send copies out to my mom and grandmother, your mother and both your sisters....oh, and I'm sure your first grade teacher would love one, too.

jhalpert: You know your face will freeze that way if you don't stop it. I'm serious!

pbeesly: No you aren't.

jhalpert: You're right. I'm going to buy as many as I can get my hands on repaper my bedroom walls with them. You'll be everywhere I look.

pbeesly: Then what will you need me for?

jhalpert: Good point. I guess I won't.

pbeesly: So when the issue hits the stand, we'll be over?

jhalpert: Nah - why wait that long? Once you've got the contract signed, we're toast.

pbeesly: Oh, well it was nice while it lasted.

jhalpert: Yeah, good luck with everything.

pbeesly: Dork.

jhalpert: ;-)

==

"Jan's planning on being here around eleven so we can go to lunch before the big meeting," Michael said, trying to stifle a yawn. "She's really quite excited about the opportunity. Really excited." Michael glanced down at his desk. "I can honestly say that I've never really seen her this enthusiastic about anything. Anything. She could barely sleep last night, and as a result she took it out on me."

"She's going to do great, she really is. She's certainly got everything Playboy is looking for. It's all just a bit crazy, though. Lots of practice in posing, trying to get the right look, you know? I tell her that she's going to look a lot different when she does it, but what can I do? I'll be kind of a glad when this is over."

==

Angela stood silently by Dwight's desk, hoping the plant was sufficiently blocking Jim's view of her. "What did you want to talk to me about?" she whispered. "You know I prefer we keep our daytime interactions to emails."

Dwight rolled his chair closer to her. "I know, but this is important, Mon-" he caught himself mid-word as her glare reminded him of her rule. "Did you make a decision about the cat photographs?" Dwight raised his eyebrows comically at the last two words.

"I did," she hissed. "And I told you I'd explain it later."

"Well, I thought I should know now."

"Why?"

"Because I need to be prepared to defend your honor if anyone speaks ill of your decision."

Angela's expression softened briefly as she considered what he said. "I appreciate your gallantry, but that won't be necessary. I can assure you my intentions are easily the purest of all the women involved."

"I know that. Others, however, may not...."

"It will be fine. I need to get back to work." With that Angela turned and stepped quickly and lightly to the safety of her desk. Dwight turned his head slightly so he could watch her walk back, a secret, tiny smile of approval crossing his face.

==

"Fact: despite their reputation for piousness, generations of Schrute women have not been ashamed of their bodies and under the sanctity of marriage had a reputation for unbridled sensuality. It was considered an honor in the village for a man to win a Schrute woman, typically." Dwight took a deep breath, and paused as if he was debating his next choice of words. "I say 'typically' because of a rare genetic disposition that afflicted several Schrute women in the past with excessive hair growth on their faces and chests. The family thought it prudent for those women to be generally kept hidden in the basement or attic until well into their old age. It wasn't very pretty."

"I think there are some women in this office who would do the Schrute family name justice, but I am not at liberty to say any more than that. Except that it's not Meredith. Or Kelly. Or Phyllis."

==

"Hey, what's for lunch today?"

Pam looked up from her monitor. "I don't know, what did you bring?"

Jim shrugged. "I didn't. Someone made me forget to pack one."

"Someone, huh?" Pam grinned. "Must have been quite a someone to make you forget about your beloved ham and cheese sandwiches."

"Oh, it was," he grinned back, leaning further over her desk. "What's that you're playing? It's definitely not Free Cell."

Pam tilted her screen towards him. "It's Mah Jong. I thought it was time to play something different."

"Wow. I just never know what you're going to do next, do I, Beesly?"

"Nope. Hope you can keep up with me."

Jim grabbed a few jelly beans and popped them in his mouth. "Seriously," he said, moments after he'd finished chewing, "I'm starving. Where do you want to go?"

"Oh, I was just going to run out and do a quick errand," she said apologetically. "I wanted to make sure I was here when Samantha Weber arrived."

"I can take you and pick up some drive-thru when we're done," Jim offered. "Where do you need to go?"

Pam smirked a bit. "Well, there were a few things I liked in that catalog, so I thought I'd run out to Victoria's Secret and see if they had my size in stock."

"Oh really?" Jim replied, his eyebrows raised appreciatively. "Any reason you'd need to get them right now?"

Pam pulled her purse out of her bottom desk drawer and stood up. "I'm hoping the hot date I'm trying to set up for tonight pulls through."

Jim quickly grabbed his keys from his desk, then started walking toward the door. "What a coincidence," he marveled, holding open the door as Pam walked through. "I was planning on setting up a little something with this cute girl I've had my eye on all day."

"Maybe we could double date," Pam suggested as they waited for the elevator.

The bell announced the car's arrival and the duo walked in. "Maybe we could," Jim nodded. "I think I'd be open for a little partner swapping as well."

Pam's laughter could be heard in the lobby well before the elevator doors even opened.

=

Jim and Pam returned to the office with plenty of time to spare before the big meeting. Dwight shot them a disapproving look as they entered the office, laughing at a joke that had clearly started long before they walked in the door.

"This is a place of work, in case you've forgotten," Dwight said sternly.

"Thanks for the reminder, Dwight," Jim replied, slipping into his chair. "I wondered what I was doing here."

"Trust me," Dwight scoffed, "I ask myself that every day."

Jim grinned up at Pam, who hid a giggle behind her hand as she worked on getting through the voice mails that were waiting for her. Even Dwight's condescending tone couldn't ruin her good mood. One o'clock soon arrived, but there was no sign of Samantha Weber. At one-thirty Toby came out from the annex and asked Pam if Samantha had called.

"No, sorry, Toby," Pam said. "No calls from her at all."

Toby nodded, looking confused. "I'll see what's keeping her."

At two o'clock Toby walked into Michael's office, and told him he had an announcement to make.

"You don't need to make any sort of announcement," Michael said dismissively. "You can just give me your resignation letter and go. Nobody's going to miss you."

Toby shook his head. "No, that's not what this is about, Michael. There's been a change in plans from corporate."

"Change in what plans?"

"Is this why Ms. Weber isn't here yet?" Jan asked shrewdly. Toby hadn't even noticed Jan was in the room when he'd walked in.

Toby nodded. "I should probably just tell everyone at once and get it over with."

Jan agreed and stood up, immediately overriding Michael's objection to Toby being the one to deliver the news. Not that Michael even knew what the news was - whatever it was it would certainly be better coming from him. Michael sighed dramatically and stood up, following them out of the office.

"Okay, everyone," Michael bellowed. "It would appear that Toby has managed to screw things up again." Once he was satisfied that all eyes were on him, Michael turned to Toby. "Well, go on," he said. "Ruin everyone else's day."

"Michael, you don't even know what I'm going to say," Toby began. Then he remembered who he was talking to and just shook his head, turning his attention to the rest of the office. "I know we expecting the associate from Playboy Magazine to meet with us today - "

"She has a name," Michael interrupted. "Sandra something."

Jim raised his hand. "Actually, I think it's Samantha."

"Samantha Weber," Toby agreed. "Yes, I know her name, Michael. The point is that I spoke to her just a little while ago, and she won't be joining us today."

"Why not?" Kelly asked, frowning. She'd already spent a few hundred dollars on possible outfits for the photos.

"She said that she was contacted by corporate this morning. They canceled the contract for the promotional article with Playboy."

"What the hell?" Meredith practically shouted, her voice raising screech-like at the end. "Can they even do that?"

"Yeah, they can," Toby replied. "I mean, they own the Dunder Mifflin name."

"What made them change their minds now?" Jan demanded.

"I'm not really at liberty to discuss those facts," Toby hedged. This was the part of the conversation he really was dreading most.

"Liar," Michael declared. "You're just siding with corporate, as usual. You don't care about crushing these women's dreams."

"Dreams, hell," Meredith sneered. "What about the money? We were going to get paid nicely for that."

Toby nodded. "Yeah, I know. It's too soon to promise anything, but I can say that corporate is aware of that."

"You know, we don't have to go through corporate," Jan said. "We could approach the magazine and do it on our own."

"Walmart didn't approve of the idea and Playboy did it anyway," Pam offered. "So it's been done."

"Oh, I like that idea," Meredith replied, moving closer to Jan. "Can you make that work?"

"People, please," Toby pleaded. "How about those affected by this go sit in the conference room and I'll answer any questions I can."

"I think we are all affected here, Toby," Michael said, pacing between his office's door and Pam's desk. "In fact, I think the only person here who's not affected is you, because you just don't care about us. So why don't we all go sit in the conference room, and you just go back to where ever it is you came from."

"Michael, just stop it," Jan muttered. "I want to know why corporate stopped this."

"I can't really say, Jan," Toby shrugged. "You don't even work here anymore."

"Oh hell, Toby, just tell us," Jan grumbled. "Which CEO got caught with his pants down?"

Dwight suddenly took an interest in the conversation. "Is there a Dunder Mifflin scandal we need to know about? Protect ourselves from?"

"Guys, listen," Toby sighed. "I shouldn't have said this much. God help me. I can get into trouble for saying anything."

"Tell us," Jan entreated. "If it's that big a deal we're going to find out anyway, aren't we?"

Toby nodded slowly. "I - I guess." Toby looked clearly conflicted, and he took in the anxious faces in the room. Unlike Michael's claims, these people (well, most of these people) really were his friends. "You're probably right," he finally said. "This morning the corporate offices were made aware of potential litigation against an employee at Dunder Mifflin. A sexual harassment suit, to be exact, and from what I understand more than one plaintiff has come forward."

The room immediately quieted at the news, and Jim couldn't resist looking over to Pam, giving her a nod. She looked confused at his expression, but he just smiled slightly and turned his attention back to Toby.

"So I guess you can see why they were eager to end an association with Playboy," Toby finished.

"That's not fair," Kelly moaned. "That's just not fair."

==

Toby soon escaped the chaos and went back to his desk, but only after many promises to follow up on corporate's plan for paying the women something for the missed opportunity. To be honest he wasn't sure it would really happen, but he could see Jan's point that the women could approach Playboy directly if they so wished. He'd certainly mention it, he thought as he picked the phone up. As he dialed he gazed with more than just a little longing at the post card of Costa Rica pinned to his bulletin board.

==

jhalpert: Unbelievable.

pbeesly: I know!

jhalpert: Or not. :-)

pbeesly: What do you mean?

jhalpert: C'mon now, Beesly - it's obvious.

pbeesly: That's why you made that face earlier - what do you know??

jhalpert: I don't know anything for sure. But face it - there's only ONE person Toby could have been talking about.

pbeesly: Who?

jhalpert: Think, Pam. Think!

jhalpert: (hint: who's got two thumbs.....)

pbeesly: Oh My God!

jhalpert: Yes! :-D

pbeesly: It couldn't be!

jhalpert: How could it not?? You know what he's like!

pbeesly: True. But a sexual harassment lawsuit??

jhalpert: Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy. :-)

==

By the end of the day, Toby had managed to assure the women who would have taken part in the magazine article that they would be getting some compensation from corporate, though the amount was still left purposely unclear. Meredith spent the rest of the day quietly cranky, which is to say no one really noticed any difference. Jan left shortly after Toby's announcement, saying she was in need of a cigarette, and wasn't seen back in the office for the rest of the day. Michael was clearly relieved - about a lot of things.

Pam was sending out the usual end-of-day faxes when she felt Jim standing behind her. She didn't have to turn around to know it was him, and in fact she hadn't even heard him approach. All the same, she knew he was there.

"I guess you must be feeling pretty good right now," she mused, still faced away from him.

"Why would you think that?" He moved to lean against the filing cabinets, trying to read her expression.

"Oh, let's see - I lose the chance to display my assets in an international magazine, and the guy you hate most in the world might actually have to face up to some of the shitty things he's done over the years. I can't see how you could NOT be delirious with joy right now."

Jim gave her that special smile that told her he was working very hard to maintain his distance. The smile that said that had it only been the two of them left in the office, things might be taking a very different turn. Instead he tapped the top of the cabinets.

"Oh, I'm sorry," he said. "You are completely correct on the last point, but not the first. That's going to cost you."

"Cost me what?" she replied with a short laugh.

"I'm afraid you're going to have to share with me the contents of the bright pink shopping bag you insisted on stuffing sight unseen into the trunk of my car."

"I'm reasonably certain none of it will fit you," she said, picking up the fax report sheet as it finished printing out. "And I don't buy for one minute you aren't happy the Playboy thing isn't going to happen."

"Well, happy isn't exactly the word I'd choose." He regarded her with look of sincerity that surprised her. "I mean, I'm not unhappy. Maybe a bit relieved, if you want to know the truth. But I know that you kinda wanted to do it. And you know Dunder Mifflin isn't going to pay you a fraction of what Playboy was offering."

Pam sighed. "Yeah, that's the bit that really sucks. I had plans for that money."

Jim smiled again. "Oh? Like what?"

"Oh, the usual. Pay some bills, buy some treats. Maybe open up my own chain of karaoke bars that serve nothing but grilled cheese sandwiches."

"Nice," he nodded. "Any chance you'd want a partner for that last investment idea?"

"Well, I'd need a partner willing to offer one hundred per cent financial backing at this point." She put the files she was holding on her desk and turned off her computer. "Don't suppose you know anyone that gullible?"

"I might," Jim said, picking up his messenger bag. "Depends on what's in that pink shopping bag."

==

Toby stayed at his desk until he was reasonably sure everyone in the office had left. Meredith had given him looks all day like he was personally responsible, and he'd apologized several times throughout the afternoon even though none of it was even his fault. Everyone else seemed to be taking it in stride, thankfully. The real reason he was avoiding the rest of the office was that he was afraid he'd spill the news he'd discovered about the lawsuit. As a corporate HR representative, he needed to be impartial and discreet, but what he'd been told made him want to be anything but.

It couldn't have happened to a nicer guy, he smiled to himself.

Toby switched off the lights in the annex and headed into the main room. He was startled to find Angela standing at the reception desk.

"Leaving soon, Angela?" he asked as he approached her.

"Yes," she replied crisply. "I was waiting for you actually."

"Me? What did you need?"

Angela picked up a folder that was sitting on the top of the reception counter. "You said that if we'd already signed the Playboy contracts we'd be eligible for the bonus from corporate."

"Yes, I have to fax them over tomorrow."

"Here," she said, pushing the folder to his chest. "I would appreciate you not letting anyone else in the office know about this." As soon as he took the folder she spun on her heels and headed quickly out the door. Toby stared at the red folder for a moment, then glanced inside.

"Well, I'll be damned."