“I can't take it anymore.”

Pam looks up. “Andy?”

His green eyes flash with annoyance. “Who else?”

“Not Dwight?”

“Dwight is many twisted things, but not a pervert.”

“What did he say now?”

“She's got to be more than a handful even given the size of your hands, Tuna.”

Pam's eyes narrow. “He's going down.”

At the soda machine, Pam giggles, tickled by both his idea and the way his breath falls warm across her neck.

“Jim, you are evil.”

“It will keep him too busy to bother us.”

“True.”

With no cameras around, he pulls her into his arms. “So more time for this.”

“I'll go talk to Kelly.”

“No. I am never going to date anyone from the office again.”

“Kelly, don't rule out Andy because Ryan was a jerk.”

“What does Andy think of me?”

Pam pauses. “That you're unique. And friendly.”

“And I'm pretty?”

“Naturally.”

Finally Kelly smiles. “Hey, a double date would be fun!”

Whoops, Pam thinks. Wasn't expecting that.

“So why Kelly, Big Tuna?”

Jim shrugs. “She's cute.”

“But high maintenance, right?”

“Sometimes a little effort pays off.”

Andy grins. “So she's hot in bed.”

“That I don't know.”

“But she's exotic. I bet she is.”

“Again, no idea.”

“She knows I went to Cornell?”

“I'm sure she'd love to hear all about it.”

They're walking out holding hands. Pam smiles at the thought of another quiet evening together.

“So, is she interested?”

“Is he?”

“I think so,” Jim nods.

“Kelly too, but there's one tiny little problem.”

He opens the car door as she relates the bad news.

“Beesly!” Jim practically shouts. “Are you out of your mind??”

“I am so disappointed in you,” he grumbles, not for the first time.

“I was afraid she'd say no otherwise.”

“But a double date??”

“Sorry!”

“What am I going to do with you?”

Pam snuggles closer. “A little more of what you were up to earlier sounds good.”

“You're shameless.”

“And you're complaining?”

“Absolutely not.”

Andy leans against Jim's desk. “Double date? Excellent.”

“Yeah.”

“It makes it friendly, like I'm not expecting too much.”

“Good. Because you aren't.”

“We'll see, Tuna. Ladies have a hard time resisting this.”

“O-kay.”

“Should we all ride together?”

“No.”

“Okay. I guess I don't need to ask about using your guest room then.”

“So which of these should I wear?”

“Kelly, there's like six different shirts here!”

“I couldn't decide which best projected my feelings.”

“Which are....?”

“'Love and appreciate me for who I am.”

“One shirt's going to convey all that?”

“Not really. Just as long as it highlights my best features.”

Pam rolls her eyes. “Great.”

Jim requests a table.

Andy wants a booth.

Pam slides in beside Jim.

Kelly complains. “Andy should be across from me.”

Appetizers?

Kelly's allergic to crab. Andy nearly died from a bee sting. They're bonding over anaphylactic shock.

Pam brushes her foot against Jim's calf. Their eyes meet.

Yeah, it's gonna be a long night.

“...and he was so impressed he promised me a drink the next time I was at the New York Yacht Club.”

Kelly squeals. “Are you serious? Nicholas Cage?!?”

“As a heart attack. Life's all about meeting the right people.”

“Who else do you know? Tell me, tell me!”

“More wine, Jim?” Pam asks sweetly.

“Please.”

Jim groans. “You so owe me.”

“It was your idea.”

“Not to witness the madness!”

“They really were kind of cute together.”

“You mean annoying.”

“Hey, if it works out Andy will quit asking about your sex life.”

“How is that going, anyway?”

“Your sex life?”

“Yeah.”

Pam pulls off his tie. “Pretty damn good.”

“Oh my God, I had such a great weekend!”

“That's good, Kelly.”

“Andy and I spent it completely together.”

“Completely?”

“I'm not a slut.”

“I didn't think that.”

“Pam, I've known him for, like, months.”

“But you'd never said a word to him before Friday.”

“Maybe. But we always made a lot of eye contact.”

“Tuna.”

“Andy.”

“Big, Big Tuna.”

Jim looks up from paperwork. “Need something?”

Andy grins. “I need to thank you for the hook up.”

“Glad it worked out.”

“Worked in and out, if you get me.”

“I'd rather not.”

“The things she can -”

“Stop.”

“Gotcha. Details tonight over brews.”

“Oh. Um, I -”

“Good. I'll drive.”

Fuck.

“Make him stop.” Jim pleads. “He keeps IM'ing me. With details I don't need to know.”

Pam snorts. “You? Kelly's killing me.”

“How?”

“In a line up of guys masked but naked from the waist down, I could pick out Andy.”

“Ewww. I'm not sure I'm comfortable with that.”

“How do you think I feel??”

“They've been going out how long now?”

“Six weeks Friday.”

“Holy Mother of God.”

“I know! You created a monster.”

“If only that monster didn't think we were its best friends.”

“It's just a movie and dinner, Jim.”

“But every Friday?”

“We could be sick tomorrow....”

“Get on that, Beesly. Something contagious.”

“Kandidium Exhaustivitis?”

“Nice.”

Weeks turn into months.

Kelly still spills too many personal details.

Andy now calls Jim his “best bud.”

“How did we not predict this, Pam?”

“They're happy, Jim.”

“Happy, sure. But they take it out on us.”

Pam laughs. “Yeah, good prank there, Halpert.”

“Dwight would love the irony. If he knew what irony was.”

“An anniversary present? Really?”

“Yes, Jim. They've been dating a whole year.”

“Quit encouraging them.”

“Face it. You finally used your powers for good, not evil.”

“Maybe.”

“Think of all the people you saved.”

“Saved?”

“They can't inflict themselves on innocent people when they've got each other.”

“Good point. Can I sign that card, too?”

“So how about it, Tuna?”

“You really don't have a brother or a cousin.....or a best friend....?”

“Hey, you are directly responsible for this - who else would I ask?”

Jim closes his eyes. So this is the payback for every prank I've ever pulled.

“Sure, Andy. I'd be honored to be your best man.”

Kelly looks radiant in white.

Andy wears a morning suit and his blue rope bracelet.

The seven bridesmaids are dressed completely in pink.

Unfortunately so are all the groomsmen.

No one objects when the minister asks.

Only Pam notices Ryan Howard sitting alone in the back row.

He quietly slips out before the ceremony ends.

“I thought that bridesmaids aren't supposed to outshine the bride.”

“Please. I look like a hydrangea bush.”

Jim grins. “Not everyone can pull that look off.”

“Shut up. Oh, you owe me ten bucks.”

“Why?”

“The wedding program lists the best man as Jim Halpert.”

“Damn. I was sure he didn't know my real name.”

Jim and Pam dance all night.

“They do look happy,” he admits.

“And all because of you.”

“No, there's only one marriage I want credit for.”

Pam tilts her head. “Whose?”

Jim's fingers brush lightly over the platinum rings on Pam's hand. “Ours, of course.”

Pam smiles. “Yes, you get full credit for that one.”