Summary: A Christmas party, a blizzard, mistletoe, and five gallons of spiked egg nog.
Categories: Jim and Pam Characters: Ensemble
Genres: Drunk Pam/Jim, Fluff, Holiday, Humor
Warnings: None
Challenges: None
Series: None
Chapters: 6
Completed: No
Word count: 5923
Read: 19764
Published: December 14, 2007
Updated: January 30, 2008
Story Notes:
Just a little fluffy ensemble piece which is obviously a poor substitute for a real Christmas episode. Oh, Office, how I miss you!
1. You can't cancel Christmas by ExtremelyGruntled
2. Some of us have a party to get ready for by ExtremelyGruntled
3. No, because that would be kidnapping by ExtremelyGruntled
4. See, that's what a good office Christmas party is all about. by ExtremelyGruntled
5. Okay, who here among us has not been drinking? by ExtremelyGruntled
6. Well, the cat's out of the bag. by ExtremelyGruntled
You can't cancel Christmas by ExtremelyGruntled
Michael walks into the office, forty-five minutes late but in what can only be described as an overly cheerful mood. It is the Friday before Christmas, and there is a big snowstorm predicted for later in the day. He starts to ramble about how excited he is for this afternoon's Christmas party, when Pam interrupts him.
"Michael, they're predicting like more than a foot of snow this afternoon. I think maybe you should think about letting everyone leave before it hits."
He immediately shakes his head. "Noooo... Nah... it's going to turn out to be nothing. These weather guys are wrong all the time." He pauses, sucks in a breath. "Are you going to let Al Roker tell you what to do? Or Chet Montgomery? Ugh. He's the worst. Don't listen to him, Pam." He heads toward his office.
"No, Michael, seriously, it is going to - "
"Nope. Nooope. Don't want to hear it. It will be fine. Come on, Pam, it's our Christmas party! You can't cancel Christmas. That would be very Grinch-like of you."
Now Jim steps in. "Michael, have you actually watched the weather reports? This could be the biggest storm we've had in years..."
"It's only December!" Michael snaps. "Big storms don't happen in December. So don't... get your panties in a wad. We'll be fine."
~~
Michael: I don't know why these people put so much faith in these "weather men." [he uses air quotes] I mean, I could be a weather man. All you have to do is stand there and say, "It's going to snow" with authority, and people believe it. And then when it doesn't snow, no one holds it against you. Well, they should, because you are a liar.
~~
Jim stands at the reception desk, smiling down at Pam.
"So what should we do?" he asks, taking a mini-candy cane from the new holiday candy dish.
"He's not going to let us go," Pam replies, shaking her head.
"Maybe he'll change his mind - "
He is interrupted by Kevin, who had suddenly appeared next to him. "Hey, is Michael going to let us leave early if it snows?"
Jim opens his mouth to answer, but Angela starts yelling before he can get a word out.
"We are NOT canceling this party!" she proclaims. "I have worked hard for the past two weeks making sure this party goes off without a hitch after last year's fiasco with that Karen girl, and I am not going to have that all thrown out the window because of a little snow!"
Everyone stares as she flounces away to the kitchen.
~~
Angela: I am head of the Party Planning Committee, and the Christmas party is the event of the year. I will not stand for anyone trying to sabotage it, especially since this Christmas is my first without... Sprinkles.
~~
Andy is in the kitchen, putting something in the fridge. Angela comes in carrying a pan of her famous brownies.
"Hey there, princess, did you see the weather -"
She turns and glares at him, slamming the brownie pan onto the counter.
"What do you want, Andy? I suppose you're going to say it's going to snow ten feet and we should go home now at nine forty-five in the morning because we may just get a dusting of snow on the ground and God forbid anyone has to drive home in the snow."
"Um, I was just seeing if you wanted any help, with the party?" He looks at her expectantly. She frowns, rolls her eyes, and walks away, into the ladies room.
Andy shuffles back to his desk, unsure of what exactly he had done wrong, but he soon forgets about it as he sees Michael gesturing for him to come in the office.
"Did you get the stuff?" Michael asks him.
"Yes indeedy!" Andy replies. "Vodka, rum, Southern Comfort, and five gallons of egg nog. They'll never know what hit them."
"Excellent!" Michael says, in his best Mr. Burns voice.
~~
Michael: Okay, so technically we're not allowed to serve alcohol. But we've done it under the radar the last two years, and the fun level just goes way up when there's booze flowing. So anyway, I had Andy go to the liquor store for me because I didn't want Jan to drink everything before we left the house.
~~
In Michael's office, he is talking to Jan on the speakerphone.
"What do you mean you're not coming?"
"Michael, we're going to get two feet of snow. I'm not going out in that. In fact, since I have the car I'll have to come get you soon - "
"No, no, no," he argues. "The snow is not going to amount to anything. The show must go on. We're not canceling Christmas."
"Michael, you're being unreasonable. And you're not canceling Christmas, you're canceling the Christmas party that no one likes anyway."
"How can you say that? I mean, last year Stanley did karaoke, Jan. Stanley."
She sighs. "Do you want me to come get you now, yes or no? Because once it starts snowing, you're on your own."
"It's not going to snow," he insists.
"Fine, I'll talk to you later," she replies. He hangs up and shakes his head with disgust.
Meanwhile, Jim and Pam are in the breakroom, enjoying their first mid-morning snack.
"So have you given any thought to what we talked about?" Jim asks, looking down at his carrot sticks.
Pam sighs. "It's not that I don't want to live with you," she says. "It's just that this has been the only time of my life that I've lived alone, and..."
"You don't want to give that up," he finished for her.
"Jim - "
"No, I get it. I understand." He makes a show of looking at his watch, and stands up. "We should get back to work."
She calls his name again as he walks out of the breakroom, but he keeps going.
~~
Pam: Jim thinks we should move in together. Which would be great, don't get me wrong, but... Okay, I lived with Roy for years and I always thought we would be married eventually, and... I don't know, I just can't explain.
~~
Jim: Yeah, I asked Pam to move in with me. We spend every night together anyway. I mean, well... And there are practical reasons why it's a good idea, like saving on rent. But I guess living with Roy all that time kind of took away her zeal for cohabitating. [he chuckles bitterly]
~~
Jim sits down back at his desk and watches Dwight type furiously on his computer. Dwight seems unusually quiet.
"So you got any big plans for the holiday? You and Mose going to do some beet sculpting - "
"I am not in the mood to be mocked, Jim. As a matter of fact, I will be spending the Christmas holiday here in the office, working as usual."
"How can you possibly sell paper if there are no customers working that day to sell it to?" Jim prods.
"Duh. Synagogues." He rolls his eyes and goes back to typing.
~~
Dwight: I call Rabbi Hellerman every year on Christmas Day. Except for the years where Christmas accidentally coincides with Hanukkah, in which case I wait until New Year's Day.
~~
End Notes:
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Some of us have a party to get ready for by ExtremelyGruntled
Phyllis, Stanley, Oscar, Kevin and Meredith are stationed around the conference room window, watching the snow starting to fall.
"Well, I don't care what Michael says. Bob says we're leaving at noon," Phyllis tells the rest of the group.
"If you're leaving, then so am I. I'll be damned if I get stuck here in a blizzard on a Friday night," says Stanley.
Suddenly, a voice from the doorway startles them.
"You all need to get out of this room. Some of us have a party to get ready for." Angela's icy glare sends them scurrying away.
She starts putting out plates and cutlery onto the conference room table, when Dwight walks in.
"Hello Angela."
"Hello, Dwight." She doesn't look at him.
"I just wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas," he says meekly.
She doesn't answer at first, then after a long moment: "Okay."
"And to say I'm sorry. About Sprinkles." He looks down at his shoes.
Angela is taken aback, not sure what to make of his uncharacteristic apology. Dwight waits for a few seconds and then leaves the room.
~~
Dwight: I am not a sentimental person. Sentiment is reserved for weak-willed do-gooders. I am not, however, above apologizing when it is warranted. Like that time I accidentally ran over Mose with the backhoe.
~~
Pam is in the breakroom again, perusing the selections in the vending machines. Jim walks in, holding a white envelope in his hand.
"Hey," he says.
"Hi." She studies his face for a second. "Are you mad at me?"
He lets out a labored sigh. "No, I'm not mad, Pam. I'm just, I don't know, a little hurt, maybe?"
She frowns. "Look, I'm not sure I can really explain it. I want to live with you, I do, but there's this little part of me that thought that maybe the next time I lived with someone, I'd be..." She can't finish.
"Married?"
"Um, yeah."
Jim swallows hard, and looks away.
"Jim, please talk to me."
He takes a breath and says, "So you don't want to marry me?"
That was not what she expected. "What?"
"I mean, you wanted to marry Roy, but you don't want to - "
"No!" she yelps. "That is not what I meant at all. I just didn't know if that... if it was something... that you wanted... to do." She gets flustered and wonders why this is so difficult.
"Of course that's what I want," he replies. "Did you really think any different?"
"I didn't know, Jim. We've never talked about it. I just wasn't sure, and I didn't want to assume, and... "
Suddenly, Jim starts laughing. "You're kidding, right?"
She looks up at him, puzzled. He responds by putting his arms around her and hugging her close.
"I would marry you, Jim," she says in a whisper.
"Good, because I already bought the ring," he whispers back.
She pulls away. "What? Are you serious?"
"Dead serious," he replies with a grin.
"When did you..."
"That... is not important. And if I told you, it may scare you off," he teases. She playfully swats him on the shoulder.
They smile and laugh for a moment, and then he says, "Look, I'm willing to wait for you to be ready for the moving in thing. I won't pressure you anymore. But in the meantime - " He holds up the white envelope in his hand, " - I wanted you to have this."
~~
Jim: Two years ago, I got Pam for Secret Santa, and I... well, I told her some things in the card I put in her gift. But I chickened out and stole the card back before she could read it. The only thing is that she knew that I took it back, and she has asked me a couple of times what it said. So... this is our first Christmas together, and I figured, why not.
~~
"Really?" she asks, holding it with both hands as if it's magical.
"The only thing is that you have to read it when I'm not in the room," he says before kissing her gently on the forehead and returning to his desk.
Pam stares down at the card, contemplating it.
Meanwhile, Bob Vance walks into the office and asks Phyllis if she's ready. Michael darts his head out of his office.
"What, are you guys going out for lunch or something?"
"We're going home, Scott. I let all my employees leave already. It's really coming down out there," says Bob Vance.
"No, no, no. Phyllis can't leave! Our Christmas party - "
"We're going. And if you were smart you'd let your folks go too."
Michael stares up at Bob Vance, momentarily thinking he could challenge him, but instead he backs off and says, "Okay, Phyllis can go. But no one else."
~~
Michael: I don't see what the big deal is. It's a little snow. We get snow all the time in Pennsylvania. And Bob Vance of all people should love to drive in the snow. You know, because of the refrigerator thing.
~~
End Notes:
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
No, because that would be kidnapping by ExtremelyGruntled
Pam emerges from the kitchen and walks back to her desk, avoiding making eye contact with Jim. He's a little worried, but he waits a few minutes to see if she is going to talk to him. Finally he can't stand it anymore and walks over to reception.
"So?" he asks hesitantly.
"So...?" She eyes him, her expression unreadable.
"Did you read it?"
"Yes, I read it."
He takes a deep breath, still trying to figure out what she is thinking. "Did it creep you out? I'm sorry, I should have known it would creep you out. You have to understand my mental state at the time, and I - "
"Jim, shut up. It didn't creep me out, so enough of that. You just have to indulge me for a minute, okay? I'll come get you when I'm ready." She gives him a warm smile, and he relaxes.
"Ready for what?"
"You'll see. Now, shoo." She dismissively waves him away. He goes back to his desk, smiling but still kind of confused.
~~
Pam: No, I'm not going to tell you what it said. But, yeah, I wish he had given it to me back then. Let's just say things would have been a lot different. [she smiles giddily]
~~
Michael walks out of his office and looks around. Suddenly, he makes a realization.
"Where is Stanley?"
Everyone kind of looks around sheepishly, until Andy finally offers, "Uh, he went home."
"WHAT? Why did you let him do that?"
Andy just blankly stares as Michael starts to get hysterical.
"I specifically said no one but Phyllis could leave! What is the matter with you people? I trusted you!"
"Michael," says Jim, "it's really snowing hard now. If we don't leave soon we'll all be stuck - "
"SHUT. IT. That's it. Do I have to lock the doors to keep you people here for our Christmas party? Is that what it's going to come down to?"
"No, because that would be kidnapping. Although, I guess you're not opposed to that since you did kidnap that pizza guy." He pauses briefly, and adds, "And me, as a matter of fact." Jim is testing him, but it backfires on him because Michael walks over and moves the couch near the reception desk so it blocks the way to the door, and then he sits down on it.
Everyone stares. Michael feels the eyes on him, and finally says, "How about we start this party early?"
A few minutes later everyone except for Michael is in the conference room, grazing on treats and dipping into Andy's egg nog. Michael sits tight on the couch, pouting.
"Hey, Angela," Andy says, "this is the best Christmas party ever, if I do say so myself."
Angela, distracted, says nothing. She stares off into space, and then says, "The egg nog is good." Andy beams happily.
~~
Andy: I've learned one thing about egg nog through the years. The more booze you put in it, the more people will drink it. And the more they drink, the better the chances of getting past second base. [he lifts his eyebrows and smiles knowingly]
~~
Kelly sits sulking on a chair in the conference room. Kevin walks by and says, "Hey, where's Darryl?" Kelly glares at him.
~~
Kelly: Darryl decided that he would rather go pick up his daughter at daycare because of the snow than come to the party with me. Ryan would have never done that.
~~
Pam walks up to Jim with a piece of paper in her hand. She takes him by the hand and leads him back through the kitchen into the annex.
"You're not going to take advantage of me, are you, Beesly?" Jim teases.
She just shakes her head and grins, leading him over to Toby's desk.
"Hey Toby," Pam says. "Why are you still working? The party has started."
Toby glances over toward the kitchen and mumbles, "Oh, no one told me."
"Oh, well, anyway, I wanted to give you this. It's a change of address form for me." She hands him the paper.
"Oh you moved?" Toby asks, looking down at the form.
"Yep. I'm living with Jim now," Pam says, and flashes a smile in Jim's direction. Jim, meanwhile, is beside himself with joy.
"Are you sure? Really?" He can't control the wide smile on his face.
"Yes, I'm sure. I think we wasted enough time, don't you?" He starts to tear up a little, knowing she's talking about the card. He scoops her up and hugs her so hard he lifts her off her feet.
Toby, watching the romantic moment unfolding before him, lets out a small sigh followed by a cough. They both turn their attention back to him.
"Are you sure you wanna do that?" he asks. "I mean, it's not like Jim has the best track record with women..."
They both stare at him, not comprehending, for a second before Pam bursts into laughter. "Oh, Toby, you're funny," she says. Jim, on the other hand, eyes Toby suspiciously.
~~
Jim: Sometimes I think Toby... Nah, it's almost too unbelievable to be true. I shouldn't even say it out loud. [he pauses, puzzled] Okay, I'll just say it. I think Toby might have a thing for Pam.
~~
End Notes:
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
See, that's what a good office Christmas party is all about. by ExtremelyGruntled
Author's Notes:
I was hoping to have this finished before Christmas, but my real life has gotten in the way. I will try anyway though. There should be two more chapters after this one.
Creed shoves another brownie in his mouth. He turns to Angela, who is standing nearby. "Hey, what kind of pot you put in these things?" Angela, disgusted, walks away.
"Okay, guys, the karaoke machine is all set!" Kevin announces. "I get first dibs."
Kevin launches into a stirring rendition of Air Supply's Making Love Out Of Nothing At All. Dwight stares at Angela from across the room, but she avoids his gaze as Andy starts telling a story of this one time at Cornell when his a cappella group got busted for taking the bulbs out of the lights in the student center. ("It was totally wild," he says.)
Dwight sighs and wanders into the conference room for some more egg nog. Jim and Pam are in there, watching the snow fall as they giggle over some inside joke.
"Do you remember the time I got drunk at the Dundies?" Pam asks with a laugh.
"Do I remember? How could I ever forget our first kiss?"
She laughs at the memory, and then says with mock confusion, "Wait, that really happened? I thought I dreamed the whole thing!"
"Oh yeah, it happened! What you dreamed was..." He bends down and whispers something in her ear, at which she bursts into a full-blown giggle fit.
"Jim! You're being naughty. Santa might not bring you anything," she says with a snort. Jim reaches over, encircles his arms around her waist, and pulls her hips close to his, whispering something else to her as she blushes and pretends to swat him. Then she turns and pours them both another drink.
~
Kelly: Oh my God, Jim and Pam are like, so horny. Who does that in front of their co-workers?
~
Michael is still sitting on the couch, watching the karaoke, which is getting progressively worse the more people drink. He hasn't moved from his spot, for fear someone may sneak by him. Dwight sits down next to him, dejected.
"What is the matter with you?" Michael asks with not a trace of compassion.
"Nothing. I have never been better. In fact, I have never - "
"Oh shut up. Hey can you do me a favor and grab me a cup of that egg nog?" He nods toward Kevin, who is obviously enjoying his - he is licking the sides of the cup.
Dwight nods and heads back into the conference room. Jim and Pam are kissing up against the wall near the window. Dwight clears his throat.
Jim and Pam break apart and look at him. "Um, mistletoe," Jim says. Dwight looks around, then replies, "No, the mistletoe was in the kitchen. I know because - "
Pam quickly looks up at Jim and they both say, "Kitchen!" simultaneously as she grabs his arm and leads him out of the room, adding quickly, "Jinx!" Jim stumbles a bit and almost falls, but recovers in time to share another long laugh with Pam as they head off toward the kitchen.
Dwight stands there disgusted for a minute before going back to Michael with his egg nog.
"Michael," he says as he hands it to him, "I think the nog may be a little, um, strong. My cousin Heindl used to make it that way and he and my cousin Freisa would act just the way Jim and Pam are..."
"Ugh. Can you just.... shut. it. I'm trying to enjoy my egg nog here and I don't need to be hearing about your incestuous cousins."
Andy is now singing at the karaoke machine. He is doing a mean rendition of Even The Nights Are Better, also by Air Supply. He is directing it toward Angela, but she isn't even looking at him. Instead her eyes wander over to Dwight sitting moping on the couch with Michael. She takes another gulp from her cup.
Kelly is sitting next to Toby, on Phyllis' desk, crying about how last year Ryan made her this awesome mix tape, only it wasn't really a tape because it was a CD, and who uses tapes these days anymore anyway, and how it's not fair that Jim and Pam get to make out all over the place and be happy when the rest of us aren't. Toby just nods, silently agreeing while looking around for a reasonable way to escape.
A little while later, Meredith has to pee, so she makes her way back to the ladies room, and is surprised when the door won't open. Checking herself to make sure she pushed it instead of pulled (because she had been drinking the vodka straight-up - no middleman for her), she stands there perplexed for a minute, and then presses her ear up against the door.
Oscar comes into the kitchen soon after. Meredith sways a bit and says, "Hey! Is this door locked or is it just not unlocked?" Oscar stares at her, then shakes his head ever so slightly while attempting to open the door. Sure enough, it's locked.
"I think someone's in there," Meredith whispers.
"Oh, you think?" He rolls his eyes and heads into the men's room.
Creed comes in a few seconds later and sees Meredith listening at the door.
"Is it occupied?" Creed asks. "I kind of need to take a load off, if you know what I mean."
Meredith blinks, slowly, and says, "I think they're doing it."
"Who's 'they'? And what are they doing?"
~
Meredith: Well, there is a couch in there and it does have good support.
~
Oscar comes out of the bathroom. Meredith sighs and runs into the men's room.
"So what's going on?" Oscar asks, standing next to Creed, who is still examining the ladies' room door.
"Oh, just the normal, run-of-the-mill office sex." He lowers his voice, looks around shiftily, and adds, "Don't tell anyone, but I think Tim and the receptionist may be having an affair."
~
Creed: Oh, I've had many an affair with many a secretary. Not this one though, as far as I know.
~
Toby now enters the kitchen, having somehow managed to get Kelly to direct her crying at Angela. He goes to open the men's room door and finds it locked.
"Meredith is in there," Oscar says.
"Oh. Wait, why is Meredith - "
"Because the ladies room door is locked," Oscar answers.
"Okay. Um, why is the ladies room door locked?"
Oscar sighs and walks out of the kitchen, mumbling, "You don't want to know."
Creed, however, stays put, as Meredith comes out of the bathroom. "They still going at it?" she asks.
"Who is going at it?" Toby's interest is piqued.
"Jim and Pam, duh." She snorts. "Those two probably hump like bunnies every second they get. I know I would totally get on that all the time if I were her."
"Who's humping like bunnies?" Michael has entered the room, having convinced Dwight to stand guard at the door.
"Jim and Pam," Meredith answers for the second time, rolling her eyes. "They're locked in the bathroom."
"Oooooh!" Michael squeals, putting his ear to the door. "That's juicy."
~
Michael: See, that's what a good office Christmas party is all about. Getting drunk and screwing in the bathroom. It doesn't get any better than that, and if that's what people are doing at my party, then I will have done my job.
~
End Notes:
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Okay, who here among us has not been drinking? by ExtremelyGruntled
Jim opens the door to the ladies' room to find half the office standing there. His hair is slightly disheveled and his shirt is partially untucked.
"Oh, um... we were just..."
~
Jim: Okay, yes, Pam and I had a little too much to drink last night. But no, we did not do... what everyone thinks we did.
Pam: Yeah, I mean, we just went into the ladies room because there's a comfy couch and we wanted to play Uno.
Jim: Exactly. I mean, it made sense at the time.
~
Michael slaps Jim on the back and yells, "Busted!"
Andy, who had entered the kitchen upon noticing the audience for his Air Supply tribute had disappeared, says, "Tuna! That's even better than that time you got drunk at work in Stamford and banged Karen!"
Pam, who is now standing next to Jim in the bathroom doorway holding a deck of Uno cards, looks at him questioningly.
"Whoa! That is NOT what happened," Jim says to Andy, then turns to Pam. "That is not what happened at all." She lowers her eyebrows and folds her arms, but then starts to sway and has to steady herself against the door.
"Um, I think we're just going to... er, take off." Jim reaches for Pam's hand, but misses the first time, and when he finally gets a hold of it she is still glaring at him.
"Oh no you don't!" yells Michael, putting his arm out to block them from passing.
"Michael, come on, it's snowing and people want to go home and - "
"No, that's not why you can't leave. You, my friend, are totally snockered. Both of you. You can't drive." Everyone else nods in agreement, even the drunkest among them.
"I'm fine," Jim insists, as he pats down his pants looking for his keys.
"Looking for these?" Dwight is standing in the doorway, holding Jim's keys up.
"Where did you - "
"It is my duty to make sure none of you leave without passing a field sobriety test, and you, Jim Halpert, have failed."
~
Dwight: Whenever we have these parties, I take everyone's keys. They usually leave them in their desk, or their coats, or sometimes their pants pockets. That one's a little trickier.
~
Pam, who has been silent the whole time, grabs Jim's arm and says, "They're right, Jim, we can't drive."
Jim sighs and nods slightly. "Then can someone drive us home?"
"Okay, who here among us has not been drinking?" Everyone looks around at each other. Toby raises his hand.
"I'm okay to drive," he says.
"Ugh, no. Didn't you lose your license like eight times or something? We want Jim and Pam to make it home alive," Michael retorts with disgust.
Angela, who is within earshot of the open doorway, offers, "Well, I don't drink so I guess I can take the two fornicators home."
Andy looks around, sheepishly, aware that Angela has been chugging his special 'nog all night. But before he can decide whether to say anything, Dwight intervenes.
"No, Angela, you've clearly been drinking the egg nog," he says sternly.
"What? The egg nog doesn't have alcohol..." She looks down at the cup and then at Andy. "You told me it didn't have booze in it!"
"Well, to be fair, the stuff that's still in the fridge doesn't have booze in it, so technically you just were drinking the wrong one...."
She gives him the evil eye of epic proportions then spins around and walks purposefully toward the front door, enraged.
Dwight stares at Andy for a few seconds before overly nonchalantly heading in the direction in which Angela went. He practically steps over Kelly, who is lying on the floor near Jim's desk, crying.
After a long while Andy says, "So. Should I go after her?"
Dwight finds Angela in the building lobby, staring at the snow on the other side of the glass door, which has piled up to nearly half her height. There is no way to open the door, as the weight of the snow is holding it shut. The parking lot is totally unplowed, and all of the cars are completely buried.
"Monkey?" Dwight calls softly.
She doesn't look up or say anything. He just stands there for a moment, until he realizes she's not going to answer to her pet name anymore, so he turns back toward the stairs.
"D?" she whispers.
He walks back. "Yeah?"
Suddenly she runs up and flings her arms around his neck, kissing him full on the mouth. Dwight is stunned for a second, and then kisses her back. And that's exactly when Andy exits the stairwell.
"WHAT THE - "
Dwight and Angela break apart, as Andy stands there, his mouth opened in shock.
End Notes:
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Well, the cat's out of the bag. by ExtremelyGruntled
Author's Notes:
Yes, I realize Christmas has long since passed, and I apologize for the delay. I actually wrote this back then and forgot to post it. My bad. There should be one more short chapter after this.
Angela runs past Andy and up the stairs, while Dwight stays put for a moment.
"What the hell just happened?" Andy demands, angrily.
Dwight shakes his head. "Not now, Andy." He makes a motion to follow Angela up the stairs but Andy blocks his path.
"Um, yes. Now," he says, staring Dwight in the eye.
Dwight pushes past him and heads up the stairs anyway.
When Angela enters the office everyone is back in the conference room, looking out the window.
"Attention, everyone," Angela says. They all look around at her. "The parking lot is impassable, so I don't think any of us are going anywhere tonight."
"Yeah, we figured as much," says Toby.
Dwight appears behind Angela, looking at her expectantly. She says nothing, but a few seconds later Andy comes roaring in, and gets up in Dwight's face, yelling, "What the hell? I thought you were my friend, and here you are making the moves on my girl right in front of me!"
Simultaneously, everyone's jaws drop as they stare at Angela, Dwight and Andy, who then turns to Angela and says, "And you! Why did you kiss him?"
Dwight, usually not at a loss for words, can't seem to think of the right reply at the moment. Angela just looks petrified.
Suddenly Pam speaks up. "Andy, Angela is obviously drunk," she offers. "I'm sure it was an accident." Jim nods, and adds, "It happens all the time." Jim and Pam nod at each other encouragingly, but everyone else just looks confused and/or disgusted.
But Andy isn't listening and his anger is starting to bubble over. "Say something!" he yelps out.
Angela takes a deep breath and replies, "It wasn't an accident." She looks up at Dwight. "Dwight and I... we've been... involved. For two years now. Or at least until he killed my cat a few months ago."
A collective gasp escapes from the lungs of the onlookers. Even Michael is speechless. Jim and Pam exchange an "oops!" look with one another. Andy is stricken. His expression alternates between utter shock and pure rage. He balls his fist up and for a second looks like he's going to punch Dwight, or the wall. Or something.
~
Kevin: That is so... weird. Angela and Dwight are the last two people I would expect to be hooking up. Angela and Oscar would have made more sense. Or Dwight and Oscar.
~
Oscar: I guess it makes sense in some kind of bizarro universe way, in the same way that Michael and Jan are now living together.
~
Michael: That's just gross. Blech. Yuck.
~
Jim: Well, the cat's out of the bag.
Pam: Probably literally.
Jim: Wow.
~
Instead, Andy turns and literally runs from the conference room, to the kitchen, and into the men's room. Meanwhile, Dwight and Angela are gazing into each other's eyes.
"You didn't have to - "
She cuts him off with a sharp, "Not. Here." and beckons him to follow her. She leads him out of the office and toward the hallway, leaving their co-workers murmuring amongst themselves about the scene they had just witnessed.
Pam looks up at Jim and whispers, "You should go talk to Andy."
"What? Are you insane? You saw that guy punch a hole in the wall. Do you want him to do the same thing to my chest? My reflexes aren't exactly stellar at the moment, and I'm not sure where Dwight keeps his pepper spray anymore."
She stares, thoughtfully, off toward the kitchen, and mumbles, "Yeah, you're probably right..." She then quickly turns to Michael. "Michael, you're his boss. You should go make sure Andy's okay."
Michael looks like a deer caught in headlights. "Um, okay." He swallows hard, and starts toward the kitchen, but falters.
~
Michael: Here's the thing. I have this unexplained phobia. About being punched in the throat.
~
Jim sighs and heads to the men's room. When he walks in Andy is standing over the sink, his head down. He sees Jim and quickly stands upright, wiping his eyes.
"Were you... crying?" Jim asks.
"What? No," Andy replies, attempting nonchalance.
"So you okay, man?"
Andy doesn't answer right away, but then his face screws up and he bursts into tears, reaching to Jim for a hug. Jim reluctantly and uncomfortably accepts.
"I thought she was the one!" Andy wails.
Jim doesn't know how to respond, so he doesn't.
"How could she do this to me?" More sobs.
Sighing heavily, Jim says, "Dude, you were a rebound. It happens. It sucks, but it happens." Andy pulls away and stares at him. Jim shifts uncomfortably.
Meanwhile, Angela and Dwight are in the hallway, embracing. Dwight smiles into her hair and whispers, "I missed you, Monkey."
"Me too," Angela replies, and they hold each other close.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.