*Ring* Ring* * Ring* Ring*

“Agh…….” Jim groaned to himself as he rolled over in bed and clamped the pillow down over his face. There was no way that it was already time to wake up. He got so little sleep as it was that he didn’t need anymore distraction than his own thoughts already were to keep him from getting a few precious hours of sleep.

Then he wonders if it’s only his imagination and wishful hoping that causes him to see pain and sadness in her eyes as he slowly lets go of her hands and walks out of her life. These are the thoughts that have occupied almost every minute and hour of his life, waking and sleeping, since he left Scranton. He almost had succeeded in pushing those thoughts away completely until he received the news that he would be coming back to Scranton….to the memories….to her. He had found someone else. Someone beautiful and smart. Someone that could have any guy she wanted, but for some reason when he asked had said “Yes” instead of “I can’t”. However, it was still someone that no matter how hard he tried to let her, could not seem to fill the emptiness that was in his heart.

He buried his face deeper into his pillow hoping it would help to block out the memory of a blue dress, her beautiful smile, the perfect kiss.

Jim peeked out from under the pillow at the clock on his desk. 3:28...the bright green numbers glared at him from the darkness of his room. “Why the hell am I still awake?” he said out loud. He had 4 hours until he had to get up. Four hours until he had to spend another day acting as though the dark haired girl that was boldly smiling at him from across the room was the one he really wanted to be with. Another day of ignoring the fact that the girl with the bright smile, soft red curls and amazing green eyes was sending shy glances his way. Another day of pretending that his heart didn’t break a little every time he looked at her and was again reminded that he wasn’t with her.

*Ring* *Ring* *Ring* *Ring*

The noise continued. It took Jim a minute to realize that the cheerful ringing sound that he was finding terribly annoying at the moment was coming from the cell phone that was on the table by his bed.

“Why on earth would someone be calling me at this hour?”. Jim hurled the pillow off of his head and groaned as it hit the wall on the opposite side of the room. He leaned over to grab his phone just as the ringing stopped. Jim flipped open the phone and looked at a number that he didn’t recognize flash on the screen.

“Well, this is useless” he thought. Slowly Jim crawled out of bed. It was almost painful to think of getting up and having the prospect of another day at Dunder Mifflin and Dwight and stolen glances loom in front of him. Jim slowly made his way out of his room and down the stairs to the kitchen. The whole house was dark and made him feel even more alone. As he was reaching for a box of cereal from the top of the fridge he heard the faint beeping sound from his phone that signaled he had a voice mail. He flipped open the phone as he began to pour the cereal. He was surprised to hear Phyllis’s voice on the other end.

“Jim? It’s Phyllis. It’s about Pam. There’s been an accident. We are at Mercy Hospital…it’s on Jefferson Ave. Call me when you get this”. But Jim wasn’t going to call Phyllis. He threw on some shoes and a jacket and was already out the door and halfway to his car after the words Pam and accident registered in his head.

He slammed the car into reverse and was already speeding down the street when he realized how badly his hands were shaking. The thought passed through his head that it would have been much safer for him to wake Mark and have him drive to the hospital than for Jim to be driving at this moment. A million thoughts were racing through his head. “Pam…accident...what happened? Who was she with? Roy? Did he do something? Is she okay? Is she hurt? Why can’t I drive any faster? Is she hurt? Why in the HELL didn’t Phyllis give more details? Is it serious? Is she….?” No! He couldn’t even bear to think of the end of that sentence. She had to be okay. Everything had to be fine. Luckily for Jim the roads in Scranton at this hour were pretty much empty so he didn’t have to risk an accident. “Slow down…” he thought. “It’s not going to do any good for you to get into an accident also”. Up ahead Jim spied the sign for Mercy Hospital. He barreled into the parking lot and took the first spot he saw. He was running towards the entrance when he heard someone call out “Jim!!”. He stopped and turned to find the voice. He saw Phyllis and Bob Vance sitting on a bench outside the entrance to the hospital.

“Phyllis! What happened? I got your message. Is she okay? Tell me what happened!” Jim couldn’t remember a time when he had been more frantic. He had to stop and catch his breath. “It’s okay Jim.” Phyllis said calmly putting her arm around him. “Let’s go inside. I’ll explain on the way.” Phyllis, Bob and Jim entered the hospital and headed for the elevator. Once inside Phyllis pushed a button and then turned to look at Jim. “Pam was in a car accident.” Phyllis began. “I guess Roy was taking her home and they got into an argument. Roy wasn’t watching the road and he swerved off the road and hit a tree.” Jim felt like he had been punched in the gut. The image of Pam…sweet, beautiful Pam, in any sort of pain was killing him inside.

“The ambulance arrived not long after. She is pretty banged up.” He began to feel numb as Phyllis continued. “Roy is okay. He just has a few cuts and bruises”. The numb feeling in his gut was instantly replaced with boiling anger. He didn’t give a crap how Roy was doing. Roy did this to her. Roy had had something that Jim wanted more than anything in the world and this is how he treated it. How he always treated it. It had always just been a matter of time until his anger was going to hurt her physically as much has it had emotionally.

“Well I have to see her. I have to talk to her.” Jim said as the elevator stopped. As the door slid open he was stopped by Phyllis’ hand on his arm.

“Jim you can’t talk to her”. Jim froze. “She is in a coma”.

Jim felt like all the air had been sucked out of the room. It was hard to breathe and even harder to will his legs to keep standing. He was frozen to the ground unable to move, think or breathe.

“Jim?” Phyllis’s soft, concerned voice cut through the choking silence that was engulfing him. “I know that this comes a shock. But the doctor said that all of her tests are looking good and that a coma is just the brains way of healing. He said there is no reason to believe that she won’t come out of it in the next couple of days and be totally fine.”

Phyllis’s words were lost on him. The bounced off as if he was made of rubber. He couldn’t even comprehend what she was saying. Before this, somewhere in the back corner of his mind there had always been a thought that at the smallest moments taught him to hope. A thought that told him that they were meant to be together. That somehow, they would find their way through all of this and the end result would be them…Jim and Pam…and because of it all they would be stronger and able to love each other in the way that they were meant too. But now, as the word coma sunk into his head that thought was slowly melting away and was replaced with “It’s too late. Now I am too late”.

He felt Phyllis take a hold of his arm and he allowed himself to be led down the sterile, white and cream hallway. The rounded a corner and stopped at a small waiting room filled with uncomfortable couches and old magazines. On one of the couches sat a woman with short, red hair tucked neatly behind her ears. Even though her head was slightly bowed Jim could see the redness around her eyes. She had a small bunch of tissues balled into her hand and she was mindlessly thumbing through an old People magazine. Even before she looked up Jim recognized her. His mind raced back to a day when he was excited to meet this woman. A day when Pam had been has happy as a child on Christmas day. Her excitement was contagious and Jim had felt some of it rubbing off on him.

** “I’m excited to show her around. She really wants to meet everyone.” Pam had said eagerly while they sat in the break room together.

He didn’t know why he felt so nervous when he heard Pam squeal in excitement when her mom had walked into the office. He didn’t know why there were knots in his stomach as he shot a smile to the camera and slowly made his way over to the reception desk. He didn’t know why he was so terribly disappointed when Roy had walked in before he had had a chance to say hello. It wasn’t until after Roy left and he overheard Pam’s mom whisper softly “So, which one is Jim?” that he realized why he was able to feel so many emotions in the span of 30 seconds. Somewhere deep down inside of him existed that feeling that she somehow could feel even an ounce for him of what he felt for her. Hearing her mom whisper his name made his heart soar and helped him to believe, if only for awhile, that they had a chance.***

As Phyllis, Bob and Jim entered the small waiting room the woman lifted her head and then stood to greet them. “Any news Mrs. Beesly?” Phyllis asked quietly. “No, nothing new” she answered in a voice barely above a whisper. Then she turned to Jim.

“You must be Jim.” she said in the same soft voice, but he could hear a different tone than the one she had used when she spoke to Phyllis. It was a tone that someone uses when they talk to an old friend. Despite her haggard state her voice was filled with warmth and familiarity….just like Pam’s. She extended her small hand and Jim took it softly. “Yes, I am. It’s nice to finally meet you Mrs. Beesly.” What a dumb thing to say! How could he possibly say it was nice to meet her when the reason they were meeting was because her daughter was in a coma. Just as he was deciding where he could dig a hole to hide in she answered “Call me Jenn. And it’s nice to meet you too. It’s about time.”

The man that had been sitting on the couch next to Mrs. Beesly stood up next to her. He too was tall and thin with thick, curly hair. “Jim, this is my husband Richard”. The man extended his hand and with the same warm voice said, “It’s nice to meet you Jim. Finally. We are glad that you are here.”

For a minute Jim felt like he was watching a play of these interactions. He felt that he was the audience and this was going on in front of him. How could he feel so welcomed by these people after 5 seconds. How could he already feel that he knew these people and even more so, how they knew him. Jim didn’t know what to say. He wanted to ask all sorts of questions about Pam and the accident, but he was at a loss for words. Jenn Beesly seemed to sense this and she took the lead.

“Oh…sure. Yeah…that sounds good.” Jim stuttered feeling like an idiot.

Jim followed Jenn out of the waiting room and down the hall. The hall was quiet except for the faint beeping coming from the rooms that lined it. He tried not to be obvious as he craned his neck trying to look into the rooms for a glimpse of her. “We really are glad that you are here”. Jenn said, her soft voice breaking the silence. “Phyllis told us that she would try everything she could to reach you. She said that you would want to know.”

“Of course I would want to know.” Jim said softly. “She is my…..”. His voice trailed off. He didn’t even know what word would complete that sentence. Coworker? Best Friend? Soul Mate? Jenn stopped walking and turned to look at him.

He looked into her green eyes that were so identical to Pam’s and she smiled and simply said, “I know”.

Jim followed Jenn into the empty cafeteria. Jim got two cups of coffee from the machine and joined Jenn at a small, metal table. They drank in silence for a few minutes, when Jim came to the realization that if he didn’t know a couple of details about what had happened he would burst. He shifted in his chair and cleared his throat a couple of times. It was almost as if Jenn could read his mind. She put down her cup and started to talk.

“I guess you already know that Pam was in a car accident. Her and Roy were at some thing for his family. All we know is that he was on his way to take her home and they got into an argument about something….Roy wasn’t clear on the details. All he said was that they were arguing and he was looking at her and when he looked up he was headed straight for a tree”. Jenn’s voice caught in her throat and Jim could see the tears building up in her eyes. “He said he tried to swerve, but it was too late. I don’t really know what happened after that. Roy was okay because he got out of the truck and called 911. He was able to open the passenger door and unbuckle her. At least he had enough sense not to move her. The doctor said that if he had it could of snapped a vertebrae in her spine and she would have been paralyzed.

A huge lump formed in Jim’s throat. He didn’t want to picture any of this. The fact that she wasn’t paralyzed caused the tiniest bit of hope to arise within him. He also found himself being slightly grateful for Roy and that he had actually thought enough not to damage her further. He could sense that Jenn was going to continue.

“The ambulance came quickly and on the way here Roy called us. He was alright. Just a few cuts and bruises and a cracked rib. Nothing too serious. As they were putting Pam into the ambulance Phyllis and Bob Vance just happened to be driving by and saw what happened. They followed the ambulance here and have been here ever since. They have been really helpful. They called us and we left right away. I am sure Richard broke about 10 traffic laws trying to get us here faster. We got here about 1:30 this morning. Luckily she didn’t have to have any surgery. She has 2 broken ribs, a broken leg and some major cuts and bruises. The doctor said that she must of hit her head on the dashboard when they crashed and that is the reason for the coma.”

Jim felt like he should finally try and say something constructive. “Phyllis said something about the doctor thinking she will come out alright.” Geez, that sounded lame. She had just been in a car wreck. Of course she wasn’t alright. His comment didn’t seem to faze Jenn at all because she smiled, “Yes, he did say that. They did an MRI and he said that everything looks really good. It’s just a matter of waiting. He said she was really lucky.” Jenn paused, “I think there is a reason that she is supposed to stay here”. Jim looked at her curiously, but he didn’t have to even ask to know the answer.

Jenn gently laid her hand over the top of Jim’s larger one. “I know Jim. I know about you and her. I know about what you told her.” Jim was less surprised then he thought he would have been. He thought back to one of the countless IM conversations they had while pretending to work. .

.

Jenn‘s voice brought him back to the present. “Jim the thing that you need to know….the thing that Pam hasn’t been able to tell you yet is that she always knew. Somewhere deep inside of her she always knew how you felt, because she felt it too.” Jim felt his heart flutter, but he kept quiet. “Pam has never been known for her courageous nature, “ Jenn said with a smile. “But I could see it in her…when she talked about you…and all that you shared. I could see that there was more to it than “just friends”. That night…when you told her….she called me. I asked her flat out if she felt the same way for you. I could tell that it took every ounce of courage in her body to tell me that yes, she did feel the same way.” Jim could feel the tears start to form in his eyes. He couldn’t let himself cry in front of Pam’s mom, a woman he had only know for 15 minutes and yet he knew that if he did, she wouldn’t think anything of it. Jenn leaned in closer to him. “Then you were gone and her heart was broken. Just like I suspect yours was when she told you that she was going to marry Roy. She actually came by to see you once”. Jim’s head shot up. “What? When?” he asked. “Right after she broke up with Roy. We were out driving and talking and I told Pam that she should consider calling you and at least telling you that she had called off the wedding. I thought maybe it would be your chance. We drove past your house and saw you loading boxes into a moving van. I think it broke her heart all over again.”

Jim couldn’t control himself anymore and he unashamedly let a small tear roll down his face. He could tell that Jenn immediately wondered if she had said too much. “Jim…I am so sorry. I am not telling you this to upset you. I don’t want to do that. I am telling you this so you know. So you know that it wasn’t over for her. Not then….and I am sure not now. I am sure you both have lots of questions and lots of things need to be answered. But that is something that the two of you need to work out…together.”

Jim quickly wiped his eyes and ran his finger through his already disheveled hair. “Thank you.” he said. “It means……everything.” he finished with a whisper. Then feeling more calm and confident then he had in a long time he looked at Jenn and said, “It’s not over”.

She smiled at him and stood up. “We should get back.” she said. “I want to be there if anything changes”. They started walking back down the quiet hallway to the waiting room. Jenn stopped in front of room 308. “You should go see her.” she said pointing to the room. Jim stopped and stared at the door. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?” he asked. “Of course it is. She is probably hoping you’ll come.” Jenn patted him on the arm and then continued down the hallway leaving him staring at the closed door.

Jim took a deep breath and started to move towards the door. He didn’t know why he was so nervous. He didn’t know what he would do once he opened the door. He wished for a moment that Pam‘s mom had stayed with him. He almost turned around to call after her, but he couldn’t bring himself to look away from the door. “One step at a time.” he thought to himself. He carefully place his hand on the door handle and pushed. The door opened quietly and he stepped into the dark room. He didn’t know exactly what he was expecting, but his breath immediately caught in his throat and tears filled his eyes the moment he saw her.

She was laying in the hospital bed with her left leg up a harness. There was a small table next to the bed with a vase of flowers and one of those Mylar balloons that said ‘Get Well Soon’. The curtains over the window were opened so that the moon shone through and made soft patterns on the floor. He took a tentative step closer to the bed. She had a large bandage on her forehead over her right eye. There were a couple small cuts around her mouth and a long gash across her left cheek. Her small hands were lying still on the gray hospital blanket. There were several dark bruises on her arms. He wondered how on earth, that even with the bruises and cuts and bandages and IV’s, she could still look beautiful. Her soft red curls were spread out over the pillow and through the cuts on her face he saw Pam….the Pam that he had watched so closely for so many years. This was the Pam that he knew secrets about and that knew ways to make him laugh when no one else could. He knew her favorite color, her favorite childhood memory and the way she liked her tea. He knew the face that she made after Michael said something stupid to her. He knew the mischievous look in her eye when she was helping him plot something to do to Dwight. He knew every roll of her eyes and what every change in her posture meant.

There was a small, black armchair next to the bed. Jim quietly moved towards it and sat down. As he looked at her lying there he ached to touch her. He wanted nothing more than to take her in his arms and make the bruises and cuts go away. He wanted to see her smile at him and most of all he wanted to tell her that he loved her. Right now, he couldn’t do any of that. All he could do was be here. He slowly took her hand in his and lightly brushed his thumb over the back of her hand. “Hi Pam”. He whispered. He had always heard that people in coma’s could hear what was going on around them even if they weren’t conscious. He didn’t know if that was true or not, but if it was….he wanted her to know that he was there. He didn’t know what to say. His heart was bursting with 1000 words and feelings, but he knew that there would be time for that later. It was then…in the quiet of the room….alone with Pam that he let his tears fall. They were tears of sadness, regret, pain, worry and surprisingly they were tears of hope. There would be time for everything else.

He must have dozed off because he awoke with a start to his cell phone ringing. He gently squeezed Pam’s hand and whispered “I’ll be right back”, then he quickly moved out of the room. He glanced at the clock on the wall. It was 7:45 am. He looked at the phone to see who was calling. The name ’Karen’ flashed on the screen. “Oh crap.” he thought. He had been so caught up in the emotion of the last few hours that he had forgotten about Karen. He flipped the phone open.

“Good Morning Halpert!!” Karen’s bright cheerful voice filled his ears. “Do you want to ride to work together today?”. He couldn’t think of what to say. She must of sensed a meaning behind his long pause because she asked, “Is everything okay?”.

He knew he had to answer her. “Actually, no…..everything isn’t okay”.

“Jim?”

“Oh Jim…I‘m sorry….”, there was a long pause on her end and he knew what was coming next. “Are you there?”.

He cleared his throat. He really wasn’t in the mood for the conversation that would inevitably follow his answer. Maybe she would wait for awhile, but sooner or later the subject would be brought up for the 100th time and he would have to try to push his feelings aside to spare hers.

Another long pause…..“So…..are you coming to work?”

He was starting to feel angry. That was the thing about Karen. She just didn’t understand. Whether or not him and Pam ever got together didn’t matter at this moment. For this moment Pam was his friend and he needed to be here for her.

For Jim to say that he was staying at the hospital with a girl that he had once had a “crush” on was an immediate red flag for Karen. She always knew deep down that he wasn’t with her 100%. If she was really honest with herself she would be able to say that she knew that Jim wasn’t in love with her. She knew that part of his heart belonged to someone else and there was little to no chance of him ever giving it to her. Still she had to try. She wanted to fight for him. To show him that there was someone that wanted him back. Pam had never done that. She had said no. She lost her chance.

Jim could almost hear the conversation that Karen was having in her head. He knew she was desperately trying to hang on. He knew she was trying to make him love her. For a long time he had wanted to love her. He was in love with the idea of being in love with her. She was great. Fun and smart and beautiful. She was sophisticated and could show him things about life that he hadn’t known before. But she wasn’t Pam. He always felt so guilty because in his subconscious he was always comparing the two. He didn’t mean too, it just happened. He had wanted to move on from Pam and he had really tried, but he could never shake the feeling that told him that he was still in love with her.

“Jim??” Karen’s voice broke through his memory.

“Yeah…I’m here…sorry. I probably won’t stay too long….I just want to be here in case….someone needs something. You know?”

“Yeah….I guess. What hospital are you at?” Karen sounded defeated, but as per usual she kept holding on.

“I’ll call you around lunch. Maybe we can meet up?” She asked and he could hear the hopefulness returning to her voice.

“Okay! Talk to you later!!” There was a click and then she was gone. Jim let out a sigh. He knew that it was over and he knew that he had to tell her…today. He cared for her and knew that she didn’t deserve to be hurt by him anymore than she already had.

Jim started to turn around to head back to Pam’s room when he nearly bumped into Jenn and Richard. “Hey Jim. Glad to see that your still here.” Richard said. “Yeah…I actually fell asleep in Pam’s room for a while. Great watchman I am.” Jim made a feeble attempt at a joke. Jenn and Richard both smiled.

“Do you feel like some breakfast?” Jenn asked.

Richard and Jenn headed towards her room. Jim turned to go back to the waiting room thinking that they would want their time with her. He was stopped by Jenn’s voice.

“Oh…um….” Jim stumbled.

“Come on….she needs all the support she can get right now.” Jenn held the door open for him and he followed Richard into the room. Jenn took the seat by her daughters bed with Jim and Richard standing close by. She gingerly picked up her hand and gave it a little squeeze.

“Hey honey. It’s Mom. Dad is here too….and Jim. I’m starting to believe all those nice things you said about him!” Richard cast a sideways smile at Jim and it felt good for Jim to smile back.

Jim was touched by the softness of Jenn’s voice and the obvious love for her daughter.

Richard walked over and carefully kissed his daughter on the head. “Love you.” he mumbled quietly.

Jenn stood up and her and Richard headed towards the door. Jim looked at Pam one more time and whispered, “I’ll be back.”

Jim was sitting with Richard and Jenn at a table in the cafeteria mindlessly picking at what was described on the menu as an egg and cheese biscuit, but looked and tasted more like white rubber sandwiched between two hard pancakes. None of them had really touched their food.

“Mom! Dad!” a voice called from across the cafeteria.

Jim looked up to see a tall, thin man that looked about 30 walking quickly across the room to their table.

Jenn stood up. “Rick!” she called out as she quickly wrapped her arms around him. Richard also stood to hug the man.

“I came as soon as I could. I had to wait forever for a flight.” Rick said. “How is she doing?”

“No change really. I am really glad you are here.” Jenn said softly. Then she turned back to the table. “Oh Rick….this is Jim…Pam’s friend.”

Rick turned to Jim and Jim stood to shake his hand. “Hey man…it’s nice to meet you. I‘m Rick…Pam‘s brother.” Rick said. “Jim…it’s nice to meet you too.”

The four of them sat back down at the table. Jim picked at his breakfast a bit more and then said, “I hope you’ll excuse me, but I have to go make some phone calls.”

“Of course.” Richard said. “We’re heading back up to Pam’s room, so meet us up there when your done…if your up for it.”

“I will….definitely. I’ll just be a minute or two.” Jim said.

He appreciated the way that her family seemed to include him as if they hadn‘t just met a few short hours earlier. They made him feel like they wanted him to be there. It reminded him of Pam. Even though she was shy she always tried to make people feel included.

Jim made his way outside to the parking lot. It actually felt good to be out in the morning light. The cool air was just what he needed to wake-up a little and feel refreshed. He dialed the number for Dunder Mifflin. He didn’t think that anyone would answer, so he was surprised to hear Michaels voice on the other end of the line.

“Dunder Mifflin….this is the king…of paper…” Michael started off on a random conversation…with himself…that would undoubtedly twist into something dirty and end with ‘That’s what she said’.

Jim wasn’t in the mood for this. “Michael,” he cut in, “It’s Jim.”

“Oh hey slim Jim. What’s up? I heard about Pamela. Is she okay? Phyllis told me what happened. What on earth? Is Roy there? Have you punched him?” Leave it to Michael to worry about the important things. Jim rolled his eyes and took a deep breath. “She is in a coma Michael. The doctor says she should come out of it in a day or two. I’m going to stay here at the hospital for awhile. I just wanted to let you know that I wouldn’t be coming in today.”

Then with the flip of a switch Michael turned from annoying and exasperating to calm and actually sensible. Jim wasn’t sure how he could do that, but he always seemed to at the oddest moments…when jokes just REALLY weren’t going to cut it.

“Of course, Jim. Phyllis told me you were there. I already had Toby start on paid emergency leave paperwork for you. Take as long as you need.” Jim was surprised by the genuine thoughtfulness in Michaels voice.

“Please do. We’re all worrying about her here. You know…she’s part of the Dunder Mifflin family!!” Then quick has he had turned into “normal” Michael he turned back to the Michael that Jim was most used too. “Do you think Karen minds that your at the hospital for another woman? Is she mad? Is there going to be a fight? What if Karen hooks up with Roy to get back at you…”

“Good bye Michael…” Jim cut him off and hung up the phone.

It was then that a thought struck him. Michael had asked if Roy was there. Jenn had said that Roy was fine…just a few bruises…so why wasn’t he here? Jim didn’t know why he cared really, but it seemed to him that if you were the cause of the woman you “loved” being in a coma you would at least try to stick around to see what happened. Jim looked around the parking lot. It was mostly empty. He couldn’t see the Vance Refrigeration truck anywhere so he assumed that Phyllis and Bob had gone home. He turned around to sit on the bench that was by the front door. He wasn’t quite ready to go back inside yet. He flipped open his phone and quickly dialed another number.

“Dude…what the hell? What are you calling me so freakin’ early?” The voice on the other end made Jim smile.

Jim really looked up to Jon. He couldn’t have asked for a better big brother. Jon was his friend, confidant and partner in crime. Whenever they were together one would get a glimpse of what their poor mother must have had to deal with their whole childhood. Whenever they were together they were back to being boys. There was wrestling, teasing and sarcastic remarks constantly.

“I have the day off…..and I was planning on spending it sleeping. Although apparently that is not going to be an option anymore.” Jon grumbled.

“Sorry man….didn’t realize that you were so unbelievably lazy.” Jim answered as he stretched his legs out in front of him. He was struck with the realization that he must look like a complete wreck. He was still wearing his gray plaid pajama bottoms and a faded University of Pennsylvania t-shirt. He looked down at his feet and snickered to himself. He had been in such a rush to get to the hospital that he had put on two different shoes.

“Naw…it’s alright.” Jon said. “What’s up with you anyways? Aren’t you busy selling paper or something equally exciting?”

“Yeah, yeah….you just remember that when you find your shoes glued to the floor again.” Jon laughed. “So…slow morning?”

Jim cleared his throat. “No….actually I am at the hospital.”

“Yeah…I’m fine. It’s Pam…” Jim knew that he didn’t even have to explain who Pam was. Jon had been his go-to guy with everything Pam related. He was the one Jim called on the nights when Jim couldn’t sleep because he was so mad at the world. The world that let a guy like Roy have a girl like Pam. Jon was the one that picked Jim up from Casino night when Jim was so brokenhearted that he knew driving himself home would end disastrously. Jon was the one who tried everything to stop Jim from moving to Stamford, but then finally just gave him a hug, said, “It will work out.” and let him go. Jon had never met Pam before, but he knew that she had to be something really special to have that kind of hold on his brother.

“What happened?” Jim could hear Jon opening and shutting drawers and he knew that Jon was trying to get dressed so that he could come and help Jim in whatever way he could.

“She got in a car accident. She is in a coma.” Jim muttered. Just that phrase “she is in a coma” made him want to cry and scream and punch a hole in the wall all the same time. He still couldn’t believe that she was lying in a hospital bed unconscious.

“Where are you at?” Jon said.

“I’m on my way…” and with that the phone line went dead.

Jim looked up at the neon numbers at the elevator stopped. Third floor. For a minute he seemed more nervous to get off the elevator now than he had this morning when he first arrived. The doors slid open and Jim shuffled out. He was now strangely aware of his appearance. While clothes and hair weren’t normally things he put a lot of energy into, there was just something about mismatched shoes, faded pajamas and really bad bed head that made him self-conscious. He walked slowly down the hallway towards Pam’s room. As he rounded the corner he stopped short.

Pam’s parents and brother were all standing with their backs towards him talking to a man whose face Jim couldn’t see clearly. As he approached, Rick shifted to the side and Jim had a plain view of the man.

It was Roy. He had one hand shoved in his pocket and the other was hanging loosely by his side. Jim could see a couple of cuts on his face, but they didn’t look half as bad as the cuts that Pam had received from the accident. Richard was talking quietly. Roy had his eyes glued to the floor. Even though he couldn’t hear it Jim could tell that the conversation was not a pleasant one. Jenn had her arms wrapped around her sides and he could hear her sniffling. Rick had his hands in his pockets and he looked very tense.

Jim didn’t know if he should approach them or turn around and go back to the elevator. While he was trying to make up his mind Rick turned around and saw him. “Hey Jim.” Rick said softly. Roy’s eyes darted upwards to make contact with Jim’s. Normally Jim avoided Roy. There was something about his muscular build and the look of constant edginess on his face that made him the last person Jim would want to seek out. Jim could see immediately that Roy had a problem with him being there. His hand had come out of his pocket and he kept balling it into a fist. “Is he seriously going to try and fight me now? Here? While she’s in there like this?” Jim thought has he walked forward. Somehow though, now, he didn’t care about Roy. He didn’t care that Roy could probably pummel him into the ground. He didn’t care about the look of anger that flashed across Roy’s face. He just didn’t care about any of it anymore.

“Hey.” he said to Rick as he came to a stop beside Pam’s mom. Jenn looked at her and he was concerned at the tears that were slowly falling from her eyes. “Is everything okay?”

“No change.” Richard whispered. “She’s the same”.

“Halpert….” The low sound of Roy growling his name made Jim look up at him.

“Roy….” he said looking Roy square in the eyes.

Jim could see his muscles tensing up. “What the hell are you doing here?” Roy asked.

Before Jim could answer, Jenn stepped in. “Jim is here because he cares about Pam. He is here because that is what Pam needs.”

“Always have to be the hero…don’t you Halpert?” Roy said taking a step towards him.

“Lay off Roy…” Rick interjected.

Jim felt a surge of anger deep inside of him. Pam was in the hospital…in a coma…because of an accident she was in…with Roy and all Roy seemed to care about was the fact that Jim was here and how that in some way diminished his manhood.

“It’s your fault.” Roy continued. “It’s your fault this happened….that she’s in there. It’s all your fault.”

“Oh really?” Jim asked. “How is this my fault?” He wanted to add “I wasn’t driving the car”, but he stopped himself. He didn’t want add anymore to the situation.

“You just had to tell her. You just had to tell her about your stupid crush. You just couldn’t go and find someone else. You had to have her. I always knew it was something. Even though she tried to tell me it wasn‘t. She always tried to play it off, but I knew there was something there.” Jim thought that Roy was giving himself too much credit. He didn’t know anything about Pam. She was a thing to him…not a person and Jim couldn’t believe that Roy actually paid enough attention to her to know about any of her feelings. He could see the anger rising in Roy. He balled his fist together more furiously and his face was turning red.

Jim knew that this was going too far. He watched Roy move closer and closer to him, raising his arm and began to brace himself for a punch. When Roy was about a foot from Jim, Richard suddenly stepped between them.

“Get out of here Roy.” he said calmly. His words made Roy stop dead in his tracks.

“What?” Roy asked.

“Get out of here. Leave…go home. She doesn’t need you here…doing this. She doesn‘t need you doing this to her anymore.” Jim was surprised at how calm and even Richard’s tone was despite the fact that Roy was twice his size. Roy looked crestfallen. He dropped his arm weekly to his side and took a step back. “Richard….Jenn….” he faltered.

“Go Roy. She will be fine.” Jenn looked at Jim. “Now, she will be just fine.”

Roy’s shoulders slumped and Jim couldn’t help but feel a little sorry for him. 10 years of his life was gone just like that. Roy cast one more pitiful glance at the Beesly’s, but didn’t dare to look at Jim.

“Tell her I’m sorry. I am so sorry.” he muttered and with that he turned and walked away without looking back.

Jim let out a sigh of relief and was a little embarrassed by the knowing smile that Rick cast his way. Richard and Jenn turned and walked into Pam’s room. “You coming?” Rick asked. “Yeah…of course.” Jim said and followed him in.

The sun was shining through the window and creating a soft glow on Pam’s face. “She looks like she has some color.” Jenn said sitting in the chair by the bed. Richard and Rick both slumped onto the matching couch that was in the room. Jim took the other arm chair. “You must be exhausted Jim.” Richard said turning to look at him. “I’m sure we all are.” Jim said. “Jenn…maybe we should go to Pam’s…shower…maybe take a quick nap…eat some real food.” Richard whispered softly to his wife. “We can’t leave her here by herself.” Jenn responded. “I’ll stay mom.“ Rick said standing up and putting his hand gently on Jenn’s shoulder. “You guys go over to the apartment. Change…eat…and then come back. I’ll call you immediately if anything changes.”

Jenn seemed unsure about the thought of leaving Pam, but she finally agreed.

“What about you Jim? You want to take a little break?” Richard asked, standing and taking his wife’s hand.

Jim looked down at his rumpled clothes. “Well despite how nicely I dressed up…I am sure you all would appreciate it if I took a shower.”

Jenn and Richard both laughed. “Well now that you mention it…..”

Jim grinned at them. “Can you please call me if anything changes?” Jim asked Rick.

“Of course….what yours number?” Rick quickly programmed Jim’s number into his phone.

“I’ll be back soon.” he said. “Thanks Jim,” Jenn said stepping forward to give him a hug. “It really means a lot that you’re here.”

“Do you need me to get anything?” Jim asked.

“Naw…we should be okay. Thanks. We’ll see you back here in a couple of hours.” Jenn gave Rick a hug and then followed Richard from the room.

“I’ll see you later.” Jim said to Rick as he headed towards the door.

“Yeah….definitely. Hey Jim?” Jim stopped and turned around. “She’s going to be okay. I just know it.” Rick smiled at Jim and then sat down in the chair next to his sister’s bed.

“Yeah…she will.” Jim said and walked out of the room.

As Jim was walking down the hall to the elevator he heard someone call out his name. He turned to find Jon rushing towards him. “Hey!” Jon called out. “Any news?”

“No…nothing new.” Jim said giving his brother a quick hug. “her brother is with her now. Her parents left to go change and I was thinking I should go do the same.”

Jon looked at his brothers scruffy face and wrinkled clothes. “Probably a good idea. You don’t want her to see you like this! Come on…I’ll drive you home.”

Jim followed Jon out to the parking lot. He half expected Roy to be out there waiting for him, but he wasn’t. Jim climbed into Jon’s car and closed his eyes as he rested his head back against the seat.

Jim was dead asleep by the time Jon pulled into his driveway. His eyes opened slowly as Jon turned off the car.

“Hey…we’re here.” Jon said getting out of the car.

Jim opened the passenger door and climbed out. He was surprised how refreshed a 15 minute power nap helped him feel. He stretched his arms up over his head and walked towards the house.

“Want me to make you something to eat?” Jon asked as Jim unlocked the front door.

“Oh…yeah…sure.” Jim said throwing his keys onto the table by the door. “I’m going to go grab a shower.”

Jon nodded and headed into the kitchen as Jim went upstairs. Once in the privacy of his room he sat down on the bed to collect his thoughts. He tried to think of what he was going to say to Karen. Would she understand? In his heart of hearts he knew that he had never wanted to hurt her. She had been good to him….good for him in a lot of ways. But, she needed someone that could give her all she deserved and he knew that he wasn’t that person.

Jim peeled off his t-shirt and threw it into the hamper. When he walked into the bathroom he stared at himself in the mirror. He looked exhausted. There was dark stubble covering his face and his hair was sticking out in more directions than he thought was possible. Pam’s parents must of thought he was a total disaster. He got into the shower and let the steaming water run over him. “She has to come back.” he thought. “She needs to know that I still love her….that I never stopped loving her.”

Memories of the past few months were racing through his mind.

As he turned off the water and climbed out of the shower he thought for the first time, in a long time, that maybe now….finally, they would get their chance. Jim quickly pulled on a clean pair of jeans and a blue long sleeved t-shirt. He rummaged through his closet for matching shoes. As he was tying the lace on his shoe his cell phone began to ring again.

“Hello?” he answered as he quickly ran a small bit of mousse through his hair. He wanted to give a better impression to Pam’s parents this time around.

“Hey,” Karen’s voice came through the phone. “How is everything?”

“Nothing’s changed.” Jim said. “I came home to shower and now I am heading back over there.”

“Thanks…..sounds good. Bye.” Jim hung up and stuck the phone in his pocket. As he headed out of his room a flash of gold caught his eye. It was a gold medal carefully crafted out of a yogurt lid and some paper clips. He had hung it over his desk lamp that night after the Office Olympics. He smiled every time he saw it because it helped him to think of great times with her. That little token reminded him of cokes, pencil cups in vending machines, air high fives, grilled cheese sandwiches on the roof and her excitement over paper doves. It reminded him of teapots and hot sauce packets, Desert Island movies, jellybeans and her head softly resting on his shoulder. He carefully picked up the medal from around his lamp and put it into his pocket. Maybe it would help to remind her of all those things too.

“Dude…you are going to be so impressed.” Jon said as Jim entered the kitchen.

“Why? Because you didn’t burn my house down?” Jim joked as he sat down on a bar stool.

“If you want one of my world famous omelets I suggest you take that remark and shove it….” Jon laughed placing a plate down in front of Jim.

“Thanks man…” Jim hadn’t realized how hungry he was until the scent of warm ham, eggs and cheese reached him. He ate the omelet in about 4 bites and followed it with a big gulp of OJ.

“Well I think I should get back to the hospital.” he said standing up and taking his dishes to the sink.

“Yeah, of course.” Jon set his plate in the sink on top of Jim’s and they headed for the door.

“I feel like I should stop and get her something…you know…like flowers…or something.” Jim said as he opened the door to the car.

“That’d be cool. Let’s stop at the store on our way.” Jon started the car and backed out of the driveway.

Jim was amazed as he stared into a refrigerated case of flowers at Scott’s Grocery Store.

“There are so many flowers.” Jim muttered. “Out of all the things that I know about her you would think that I would remember her favorite flower.”

“Man you really dropped the ball on this one. Flowers always have a meaning. Get her the wrong ones and you could be telling her that she smells like rotten cheese.” Jon said.

“Oh…my…gosh, Jon. That is by far the most useless thing that you have ever said….well at least in the last 5 minutes.” Jim laughed.

“And not that she smells like rotting dairy….I got it.” Jim looked around for someone that could help him.

A small, white haired woman was walking towards him carrying a vase. She looked like just the person that would know something about the deeper meaning of flowers that Jon was talking about.

“Excuse me?” Jim said quietly as the woman approached. “I am trying to buy flowers for a very special person. My brother told me that all these flowers have different meanings and I want to get her some that mean something nice…not like the flower of anger or whatever.”

“Of course!” the woman smiled brightly. “Let’s see what the choices are.” She studied each bouquet of flowers closely. “Is this your girlfriend? Wife? Friend? Mother?” she inquired to Jim. “Oh geez,” Jim thought. “If I don’t even know…how can I explain it to her. Does she have a few hours for a story?”

Luckily Jon saved him by saying, “Girlfriend….and best friend.”

“Ah…here’s just the thing.” she said picking up a large bouquet of what looked to Jim to just be a bunch of pink flowers.

“Okay,” the woman said, handing the bouquet to Jim. “These are lilies. They mean friendship and devotion. These are germinis…the actually mean doing something foolish, but a lot of times that is what love is right?” Jim was surprised at how precisely flowers could describe his and Pam’s relationship. “And these…” she continued, “are tulips and they mean perfect love.” Perfect love? That is what a second chance was going to give them. A chance at love. Jim smiled at her.

“This is absolutely perfect.” he said. “Thank you…so much.”

“Of course dear! She’ll love them!” and with that she walked away.

“Alright, I‘m ready.” Jim told Jon as he grabbed a small card to go with the flowers.

Once they were in the car Jim tried to focus on what to say in the card. He had plenty to say, but it needed to come from him personally…not written in a card. ‘I love you’…too much? ‘You’re the only one for me’….too cheesy. Finally he scribbled something down on the card. Just before sliding it into the envelope he read it once more…just to make sure.

Pam,

It‘s our turn.

Love,

Jim

“Do you want me to come hang out for awhile?” Jon asked as he pulled up in front of the hospital.

“No…that’s okay. I’ll just be sitting around. You’ve done enough already. Thanks for coming man.” Jim said as he started to get out of the car.

“Thanks….I will. See ya.” Jim shut the door and waved as Jon drove off. He checked to see that the card was stuck inside the flowers and made his way into the hospital. He took the elevator up to the third floor and started down the corridor to Pam’s room. He didn’t see Jenn or Richard, so he quietly knocked on the door. Richard opened it.

Jim walked into the room and saw Rick sleeping on the couch and Jenn reading a magazine in the chair beside Pam’s bed.

“Any change?” Jim asked.

“Not really,” Richard replied. “But, the doctor says that her vitals are a bit stronger so that’s a good sign.”

“Jim! Those flowers are beautiful!” Jenn said rising to give Jim a hug.

“Thanks…hope she‘ll like them.” Jim set the vase of flowers down on the table by Pam’s bed. Then he reached into his pocket and pulled out the gold medal. He carefully placed it around the vase. He couldn’t tell if Richard or Jenn noticed, but if they did they didn’t say anything. They just seemed to know that it was something that was important.

Rick sat up and rubbed his eyes. “Hey Jim. When did you get back?”

“Well we had our turn to rest.” Jenn said going to sit by Rick on the couch. She motioned for Jim to take the seat next to Pam’s bed. “Why don’t you run over to Pam’s and take a nap. Your probably jetlagged after your flight.”

“Yeah…maybe I will. Call me with anything though.” Rick stood up and stretched.

Jim waved as Rick walked out of the room. Then he turned his attention to Pam. In the daylight he could see the cuts and bruises on her face more clearly. He reached out and gently touched her cheek. “Hey…” he whispered softly.

Jenn watched Jim intently. It was amazing to her that even though they had just made Jim earlier that day she could already tell that he was more suited for her daughter than Roy had ever been. She leaned close to Richard and whispered, “Let’s give them a while.” Richard nodded. “Hey Jim, do you mind staying here while we run down and grab some coffee?”

Jenn patted Jim on the shoulder and then followed Richard out of the room.

When he heard the door close he moved the chair a little bit closer to Pam. He took her hand in his and held it gently. “I brought you something.” he said. “I know the card is a little corny, but romantic lines have never been a strong point of mine.” Tears began to well up in his eyes and he looked down at her beautiful face. He lifted her hand to his lips and pressed a soft kiss against it. “Come on Pam….you have to come back. I need you. I am so sorry. I am sorry for everything.” He moved the chair even closer so that he could touch her hair. He began to stroke it softly. He couldn’t cry right now. He just wanted to talk to her. “Did I ever tell you about sending Dwight faxes from future Dwight? Or about the time that I put Andy’s stapler in Jell-O. Man…that guy can not take a joke. He flipped out!! Just like he did when he went all Rocky during Oscar’s welcome back party…which by the way had to be one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen.” Jim was so engrossed in talking to Pam that he didn’t hear the door open. He stopped talking when he heard a light tapping. He turned around to find Karen standing in the doorway.

“Hey…” she said softly.

“Hey…” Jim carefully let go of Pam’s hand and stood up. “What are you….”, but before he could finish Karen held up a hand to stop him. “I just came to see if you were okay.” She cast a glance over his shoulder at Pam. “Jim….I understand now. I understand why you have to be here. I understand why there was always a part of you that you couldn’t share with me. It’s her. It’s always been her.

“Karen…I am so sorry.”

Karen smiled weakly, “It’s okay Jim. Really. I couldn’t understand it before…but now…seeing you with her…like this. I understand and it’s okay. I‘m okay.”

Karen stepped closer to him and wrapped her arms around his neck. “I hope she’ll be good to you.”

She took a step back and smiled at him again. “Good bye Halpert.”

“Goodbye Karen.” And just like that she was gone. Jim knew at that moment that he would always be grateful to Karen. He would always appreciate the things that she taught him, but most of all he would appreciate the fact that she let him go. He couldn’t quite put into words what he felt for Karen right then. He just knew he was grateful.

Jim quietly shut the door and returned to the seat by Pam. He took her hand in his and leaned over and softly kissed her head. “I love you Pam.” He started talking to her about all the memories they shared together. He talked about pranks on Dwight and yearbook photos. He talked about Flonkerton and alliances and how funny the frustrated look on her face was when she had tried to help him move Dwight‘s desk into the men‘s room. He laughed out loud at some of the memories, remembering how her whole face would light up when she laughed. Then he just sat with her in silence. He just held onto her hand never wanting to let go.

It was a good hour or so before Jenn and Richard returned. The time passed by slowly as they kept watch by Pam’s bedside. They talked and laughed as they shared stories of Pam. Jim told them about putting Dwight’s resume on Monster.com and about how Pam had done a Darth Vader impression over the intercom at the grocery store. Jim listened intently as Jenn and Richard told stories from Pam’s childhood, feeling as though he was able to finally catch a glimpse of what made her into the girl he fell in love with. Jenn couldn’t help, but stare at Jim while they were talking. She noticed the smile that was in his eyes when he spoke of Pam. She loved the way that Jim tenderly held her daughter’s hand and hoped that perhaps in some way Pam could feel that he was there.

It was about 4:00 when Rick returned to the hospital.

“I brought food!” he said setting down a box of pizza and a 6-pack of coke on the table. As Richard opened the pizza box Jim’s cell phone began to ring.

“Excuse me for a minute.” he said as he quickly stepped out of the room.

“Hello?” he answered as he walked down the hall. At the end of the hall
was a set of double doors. Through the doors was a small rooftop garden. Jim walked to the closest bench and sat down.

“Jim…it’s Phyllis.” the voice on the other end of the phone began.

“Hey Phyllis. How are you?”

“Good….just calling to check on Pam.”

“Oh yeah…well nothing’s really changed. They did say that her vitals were a little better so that was reassuring I guess.” Jim said dryly, a lump catching in his throat.

“Think positively Jim. She’ll come out. She’ll be okay.”

Jim wished that he could have Phyllis’s optimism. “Yeah….I hope so. I’ll call you if anything changes.”

“Please do. We wanted to stop by with some flowers. Do you think that would be okay?”

“I’m sure it would be fine. Let me check with Pam’s parents and I will call you back.”

“That’d be great. Thanks. Oh and Jim….it will be okay.”

“Thanks Phyllis. I’ll call you back in a few minutes.” Jim hung up the phone and looked around the garden. It was beautiful. There were trees and flowers everywhere. There was even a little stream that ran beside the pathway that crossed back and forth across the garden. Out in the distance he could see the tops of buildings dotting the horizon. Pam would love this, the thought to himself. As much as he tried to push them away, tears began to fill his eyes. He rested his forearms on his knees and dropped his head down. Running his fingers through his hair he was struck with the sudden realization of what it would mean if she didn’t wake up. He couldn’t bear the thought of what he would do without her. He felt the tears begin to stream down his cheeks. His heart was throbbing in his chest and he felt as if the wind had been knocked out of him. “I can’t think like this….this isn’t helping.” he tried to tell himself. “This is ridiculous….she’s going to be fine.”

“Jim?” a voice jolted him out of his thoughts.

He quickly wiped his eyes with the back of his hand and looked up to find Rick standing in front of him.

“Hey…sorry I was just….” Jim faltered when he noticed the paled look on Rick’s face. He quickly rose to his feet. “What’s wrong? Did something happen?”

“No Jim…it’s fine.” Rick said with a smile. “It’s just….she’s awake.”

Jim felt as if his heart was going to leap right out of his chest. Did he hear Rick right?

“What?” he asked slowly.

“Come on! She’s awake.” Rick said and motioned for Jim to follow him. They raced through the doors towards Pam’s room.

Jim slowed as they neared the room. “What’s wrong?” Rick asked. Jim thought for about 2 seconds that maybe her family should have these first moments with her. Rick must have sensed the reason for Jim’s hesitation. “Get in here….she’s going to want to see you.” A thousand different emotions flooded through Jim’s body as Rick pushed open the door. He tentatively followed Rick into the room. He saw Pam’s parents and a couple of doctors standing around her bed.

“Hey!” Rick said softly. Jenn and Richard turned around. “I brought someone to see you.”

The doctor that was blocking Pam from Jim’s view took a step to the side and suddenly there she was. She was sitting up a bit, propped up by the hospital bed and a couple of pillows. She turned her head towards him as he approached the bed and instantly her face broke into a smile.

“Hi….” Jim said breathlessly taking another step towards her bed.

“Hey…” she said slowly. He smiled as he watched her hold out her hand to him. It was almost as if time stood still when he grasped her small hand in his. His hands had been shaking, but the minute their fingers touched they stopped.

“Welcome back Beesly. We’ve missed you!” His eyes locked with hers and he knew that this was it. Now they were going to get their chance. “How are you feeling?” he asked sitting down in the chair next to her bed.

“Okay…a little thirsty.” she said drowsily. Her eyes closed for a minute, but she still held tightly to his hand.

“I think it’s best if we let her rest.” the doctor said. “She should be more alert tomorrow.” Jim didn’t want to leave her, but he figured that the sooner she got rest the sooner she would be back to her old self. He reached over and gently brushed a curl away from her forehead. “I’ll be back first thing in the morning.” he whispered. A small smile crept over her face. “Promise?” she asked opening her eyes again to look at him. “Absolutely I do.” he kissed the back of her hand and then gradually let it go. He watched as her eyes fluttered closed again, but the smile never left her lips.

Jim followed the Beesly’s out into the hallway. There were hugs and tears all around as they celebrated the good news. They were all standing in the hallway unsure of what to do next. None of them wanted to leave, but they weren‘t of any help staying at the hospital then either.

“Maybe we should go get some dinner.” Rick suggested.

“Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.” Jenn said. “Jim? You going to join us?”

“Sure!” Jim said excitedly. He hadn’t meant to sound so exuberant, but he couldn’t contain all the feelings he was having. He felt like running and screaming and crying and laughing all at once.

“Know of any good places Jim?” Richard asked.

Jim named a few choices and they finally decided on Cooper’s. Jim offered to drive since he knew his way around Scranton. As they drove to the restaurant they talked excitedly about what the next few days would bring.

“The doctors say she is going to have to stay in the hospital for a few days.” Jenn said. “Probably about a week. They want to check that she has regained all of her motor skills to make sure that she doesn’t need physical therapy or anything, but he said that there is no reason to expect that she won‘t recover as good as new.”

They all enjoyed a pleasant dinner at Cooper’s. The stress and tension that had built up from the previous couple of days had evaporated. Conversation between the Beesly’s and Jim was easy and flowed effortlessly. He felt like he had been apart of their family for years. After they had finished their meal Rick and Richard headed over to the bar to check out the score of the 76ers game. Jim let out a contended sigh. He couldn’t remember the last time he had felt this happy.

“Good ending to the day.” Jenn said from across the table.

“Absolutely…I am so glad that she is okay.” Jim said taking a sip of his soda. Suddenly a thought crossed his mind. “Can I ask you a question?”

Jim thought back to that first lunch at Cuginos. He had never met anyone like her and was as nervous as a teenage boy getting up the courage to ask his dream girl out for the first time. Lunch had been easy. They talked and laughed like they were old friends. Then he saw the ring. The sparkle of it on her left hand made the excitement deflate out of him. Of course she would be taken. Why had he thought that a girl like this would be available. He tried to keep his distance for awhile after that. Hoping that it would kill the crush he had developed, but it didn’t last long. A few days after that lunch they played their first prank on Dwight and it all took off from there.

“Every so often…” Jenn continued, “she would tell us of something funny that you said or something that you guys had done that made her laugh. Finally I asked her if this was getting to be more than just a friendship. She said no, but I could tell in her eyes that wasn’t the whole story. You see Jim, Roy was the first boy Pam loved…but they were both so young when they met that when people grow up they can also grow apart. About 5 years ago I could tell that things weren’t the same with them. When I’d call and ask how he was doing it was always the same answer..‘Oh, you know…he‘s okay.’ She expressed to me her frustrations about his drinking and late night poker games.”

Jim took another sip of his soda and waited for her to continue.

Jim was surprised. He saw that she had been talking to someone on the phone when he walked into the dark office that night, but he was couldn’t stop moving towards her, for fear that he would lose the courage to do what he had been wanting to do for years.

“I should of given her a chance….” he said quietly. “I piled all that onto her at once and the minute she didn’t respond the way I wanted her too I was gone. I don‘t know what I was expecting her to do.”

“Thank you Jim. Thank you for being her friend and loving her so much…for her.” Jenn leaned across the table and squeezed Jim’s hand. “That’s one thing every mother wants for her children. For someone special to see the best in them and love them for it.”

Not long after Richard and Rick came back to the table talking about the highlights of the game. Jim and the Beesly’s stayed at the restaurant for almost another hour just talking and getting to know each other better. Finally, sensing some impatience from their waiter they stood up to leave.

“Guess we’ll go sleep at Pam’s tonight.” Richard said putting on his coat. “Then head back over the hospital first thing in the morning?”

“I really can’t leave her here alone.” Jenn said. “What if she wakes up and needs something? How about you and Rick sleep at Pam’s and I will sleep at the hospital. No sense in us all trying to sleep crammed in that room.”

The all piled into Jim’s car and drove back to the hospital. Once they arrived they stood in the parking lot to say goodbye. Richard and Rick both shook Jim’s hand and then left for Pam’s.

“So I’ll come back first thing in the morning.” Jim said to Jenn. “Will you please tell Pam that?” Jim had wanted to say that he would stay. He wanted all the time he could with Pam. They had a lot of lost moments to make up for, but he knew that would happen in time. He felt that her mom needed time with her too. She too had just gotten Pam back.

“Of course. She’ll be happy to hear it. Thanks for everything.” Jenn reached up and gave Jim a hug and then wrapping her coat around her headed towards the entrance.

Jim waved and then got back into his car. He flipped open his phone and quickly dialed Phyllis’s number to tell her the good news. He said that he would call the office tomorrow so that he could tell everyone. After he hung up with Phyllis he called Jon.

“Hey man! How‘s Pam?” Jon asked as Jim got back into his car.

“She’s awake.” Jim said unable to contain the happiness in his voice. “She woke up about 4:00 this afternoon.”

“Oh man that is so great!” Jon said. “Did you get to talk to her?”

“Yeah…it is….it’s….great!” Jim couldn’t even think of a word describe the happiness and relief he felt when he saw her and heard her voice.

“Want me to come over? Keep you company?” Jon asked.

“Well I do lead an exciting life of intrigue and mystery and hanging out with you would just get in the way of that.” Jon laughed.

“Alright…thanks Jon…for today. Talk to you later.” Jim hung up the phone. As he drove his thoughts drifted back to seeing Pam awake today and all of the possibilities that meant. A huge smile crossed his face as he remembered the touch of her hand and the look in her eyes when she first saw him.

When Jim walked into his front door he saw his roommate Mark lying on the couch watching ESPN. “Jim! What the hell man? Where have you been all day? I called your work to ask you if you wanted to play ball tonight and they said something about you being the hospital with Pam? What happened?”

Jim sat down and proceeded to tell Mark the events of the day. “Wow…that really blows. That Roy guy is a moron.“ Mark’s ability to be so eloquent made Jim laugh.

“Yeah…everything will be fine.” Jim said with a big yawn. “Man, I didn’t realize how tired I was. I think I am going to hit the sack.”

“Alright,” Mark said turning his attention back to the TV. “Next time something major happens in your life maybe you could answer my calls so I don’t think your dead or something.”

“Ok….will do. Night.” Jim turned and headed up to his room. As soon as his head hit the pillow he was out and for the first time in months he was able to really sleep. It was all going to be okay.

Jim awoke to the sound of rain hitting his window. Jim loved when it rained and he found the sound soothing. He rolled over and looked at his clock. It was 6:00 am. For the past few months he would always wake up tired and hurting and dreading the thought of another day. Today was different. Today he was here and Pam was ready and they could finally be together. Excitedly he jumped out of bed and took a quick shower. He put on some jeans and a green sweater with small white stripes. He grabbed his iPod and ran downstairs. After grabbing a quick drink of juice and leaving Mark a note on the message board that hung next to their fridge, Jim grabbed his coat and umbrella and headed to his car. He decided to stop by Dunkin Donuts to grab some donuts and coffee for the Beesly’s.

He arrived at the hospital shortly before 7:00. Carefully balancing the donuts, coffee and his umbrella he made his way inside. He was so excited to see Pam. He felt like a little kid on his way to see Santa for the first time! He took the elevator up to her floor and made his way down the hall. He stopped just in front of her door when he heard Pam and Jenn’s voices. He turned around to go wait in the waiting room, but then paused as he heard his name. At first he wasn’t sure if they had known he was there and were calling him to come in or if they were talking about him, but then he heard Jenn’s voice continue.

“Really?” he head Pam say.

“Pam….are you really that surprised?” Jenn said with a laugh

Jim felt a pang of sadness at all the time they had missed. All the moments that had passed them by.

“Well, I don’t think he has a girlfriend now.” Jenn said.

Jim felt guilty about eavesdropping on their conversation, but as he was making his way to the waiting room, Richard and Rick rounded the corner.

“Jim! Hey! You’re here early.” Rick said taking the box of donuts from Jim’s full hands.

Jim followed Pam’s dad and brother back towards her room. Jim saw the smile that immediately lit up Pam’s face when he walked into the room and it made his heart leap. She was sitting upright in bed propped up by several pillows. She was wearing a soft blue sweater over the hospital gown. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail, but a few curls had escaped and were partially covering the bandage that was still on her forehead.

“Jim!” Jenn said happily, standing to give him a quick hug.

“Jim brought us breakfast.” Richard said opening the box of donuts that Rick had laid on the table.

“Thanks! That was so sweet!” Jenn took the coffee that Jim handed her.

He set the rest of the coffee next to the donuts and moved to stand closer to Pam.

“Hi!” she said brightly.

“How are you doing?” he asked. The look of pure kindness and caring that was in his eyes made Pam’s stomach flutter.

“Ok. I feel a lot better today. Hungry though so someone better hand me one of those donuts!”

Jim laughed and reached into the box for sprinkled donut for Pam and a cream filled for himself.

“Theses are my favorites!” Pam said has Jim handed her the donut and a napkin.

“I know…” Jim thought to himself with a smile.

“You can sit down.” Pam said motioning to a spot next to her on the bed.

Jim sat down cautiously on the edge of her bed. It was as if this new chapter in their lives was a glass box and one wrong move would send it shattering into a million pieces.

Pam shot him a look that clearly said, “What are you doing??”

Gradually he relaxed more and more as he sat on Pam’s bed and talked and laughed with the Beeslys. He loved seeing how Pam interacted with her family. She was so relaxed around them and he could really see her full personality shine through. The Pam that he had seen glimpses of, but because of all that was usually going on around them, got pushed to the side. He knew Pam. He knew better than most anyone, except her family. Her family knew her in every aspect of her life. He noticed that she mostly listened to her parents and brother talk, but he couldn’t help but stare when her beautiful smile would spread across her face. A couple of times she caught him staring at her and that would made her smile grow ever wider. In spite of the cheerful atmosphere in the room he also couldn’t help but notice when she looked at him, a remnant of the pain and confusion from the last few months. When he had returned to Scranton he had been determined not to read into any signal or sign that she might have been sending him. He was convinced he had to move on. That was the only way. But despite his determination to put her behind him whenever his eyes would catch hers, it was almost as if she was sending him a message. Telling him to just approach her, to just give her a glimpse of what he had confessed to feeling before and she could say yes this time…she would say yes. He could also see the disappointment and regret that clouded over her face when he wouldn’t acknowledge it. He wondered if the questions were building up in her the way they were in him. He knew that if they didn’t get to talk soon he would burst. He just wanted it all out there…so that he could finally hug her…hold her…kiss her. Tell her how much he loved her.

Around ten the conversation seemed to die down. Rick had dozed off on the couch and Richard seemed to be getting a little restless of just sitting in the small hospital room. Pam must of sensed her dad’s restlessness because she said, “Hey Mom…do you think that maybe you and dad could run over to my apartment and get me a few things?”

Jim stifled a laugh as her dad perked up at the idea of getting out for awhile.

“Well I’d like my toothbrush and some socks. Also, maybe you could bring some books or games or something so that we have things to do other than sit here and stare at each other.” Pam slowly tried to shift in bed, but it was difficult with her leg still up in the harness. “When did they say I could get out of bed….or at least get my leg out of this thing.”

“Soon,” her mom said helping her adjust the pillows behind her back. “They just don’t want you to over do it too fast.”

“Well hopefully Jim can do something to entertain you while we’re gone.” Jenn said giving Pam a quick kiss on the head.

“I don’t know mom….he’s kind of dull.” Pam said grinning up at Jim.

“If that’s the way your going to be then I am leaving.” Jim said indignantly as he stood up.

“Oh sit down! You know I was kidding.” Pam said with a laugh.

“We’ll be back in a little while.” Jenn said. Richard shook Rick awake, gave Pam a quick kiss and then he and Rick followed Jenn out of the room.

For a brief moment Jim was nervous. This was the first real alone time that he and Pam had spent together in a long time. He knew that he wanted to get everything out in the open, but how to start? There was so much to say…so much time to cover that he didn’t even know how to start. He could sense that Pam must have been having similar thoughts because she kept shifting slightly in her bed and was absently playing with her fingers, a habit she did only when she was nervous.

“So….” Jim said scooting a little bit closer to her on the bed. “I don’t know exactly how to entertain you. I could try to juggle…or do sock puppets. I know a great mime routine. Or I could sing for you.”

Pam laughed. “Oh really? Is Andy giving you voice lessons?”

“I would only learn from the best.” Jim said. He looked down at Pam and their eyes locked. It was almost déjà vu from the Booze Cruise. He was hoping that all that he thought and felt and wanted to say to be conveyed in just a look.

***They had wandered out onto the deck of the boat to escape the drunken madness that was taking place inside.

This time it was different than that night on the Booze Cruise because this time she broke the silence. She sat up a little in bed and tentatively reached over and took his hand.

“Jim…” she began in a soft voice. “There is just so much…so much that I need to say to you.” He could see tears start to glisten in her eyes, but he didn’t say anything. He knew that it was taking most of her courage to do this and he didn’t want to hinder that in anyway.

**Ring Ring** Ring Ring**

The sound of his phone ringing startled him. He went to turn it off, but then he saw it was the office. “I…I’m sorry…it’s the office. Please…just hold that thought for one second…please.”

“It’s okay…just get it.” Pam said softly squeezing his hand. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Jim stood up and flipped open his phone. “Yeah?” he said, sounding more irritated than he had meant too.

“Jim? It’s Phyllis.” the voice on the other end said. “I am sorry to bother you…I know your at the hospital with Pam, but we have a problem over here.”

“What the hell?” Jim thought. “Why now? Seriously.”

“Wow…I just…wow.” Jim didn’t even want to think of the madness that was taking place at the office right now. “Well…I guess…I can, but only for a little bit.”

“Ok…see you soon.” Phyllis hung up and Jim turned back to Pam.

“Pam…” he began.

“You have to leave?” she asked.

“It’s fine Jim! Go…fix this and then come back. We’ll talk…I promise.” she smiled. “I could use a little nap anyways…although now I am plagued by thoughts of Dwight and the women’s bathroom so I might have nightmares!”

Jim walked over and gently took her hand. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

Jim was pissed. He was frustrated and he was disappointed. Leave it to Dwight to put a damper on what was probably going to be one of the biggest moments in his life. He stomped out of the hospital and slammed the door of his car so hard that he was surprised it didn’t shatter the window. This was it. Pam was ready. They were going to have that talk and then everything had to stop. He realized that this situation was typical to their entire relationship. Everything would build and build until they were almost to that moment and then something would happen to end it. He thought seriously about turning around and going back to the hospital. What were they going to do if he didn’t come? Fire him? Good…let them fire him. Jim sighed. He knew why he was going. It was the same reason why he was always there for Pam when Roy had said something stupid despite how much it killed him to help her in her relationship with another guy. It was the reason why he would get out of bed at 2 in the morning to go pick up his buddies from a party when they were too drunk to drive. It was the same reason why he stayed up with Karen until all hours of the night trying to make their relationship into something it wasn’t…something it couldn’t be. He was Jim….good, nice, reliable Jim. He didn’t mind being that guy. In fact he liked being that guy…except for right now. At this movement he wished he was a jerk that could just say no and let people deal with their own problems. But he wasn’t and so he drove onward towards Dunder Mifflin.

He pulled into the parking lot and parked in Michael’s spot. His anger had subsided a little bit, but he still was in no mood to be here. He saw that Jan’s car was already there. “This better not take too long.” he thought as he took the elevator up to the office. When he walked in he could see Jan, Toby and Dwight inside Michael’s office. The door was closed.

“Well if it isn’t Big Tuna.” he heard Andy call. “Hey” he muttered as he hurried into Michael’s office.

“Jim…thanks for coming. How is Pam?” Jan asked.

“She’s okay. I really need to get back. Why exactly do you need me here?” Jim said sitting down in a chair.

“Well Michael is out sick and as ranking number two in this office we need you here to sign some paperwork.” Jan said taking some papers off of Michael’s desk.

Jim rolled his eyes. Leave it to Michael to actually take a sick day when he was sick. He had come into work when he had the flu, which both he and Pam had caught. He had come in with pink eye and the day he thought he was having menstrual cramps. He also had made Dwight go pick him up when he had cooked his foot on his George Foreman grill. Jim wondered what had made him so sick that he couldn’t possibly come in to work and of course it was today…of all days.

Jim looked over at Dwight who was sitting hunched over with his head in his hands moaning softly. “So…what happened?” Jim asked.

“Well apparently Dwight thought that it would be a good idea to check the structural stability of all the restroom stalls today and he walked in on Phyllis and Kelly.” Toby said. “Phyllis called Jan and so we had to write up a report.”

“You wouldn’t be writing up a report if I had found something wrong with the toilet stall and had saved Phyllis from crashing through the floor from sitting on a an unstable toilet.” Dwight said defensively through his hands.

“That’s not the point Dwight.” Jan said exasperatedly. “The point is that you shouldn’t really be doing safety inspections, but if you do…you need to make a public announcement to the entire office so that people are expecting it. You can’t just go wherever you want whenever you want to do it.”

Dwight continued to protest, but Jim wasn’t listening. This was ridiculous. It’s just Dwight. He looked out the window that separated Michael’s office from the rest of the office. Ryan was sitting at reception focused intently on his computer and he could see Andy watching them intently from his desk. It looked just like any other day at Dunder Mifflin. Creed was munching on the weird, smelly beans that he kept in his desk. Kevin, Oscar and Angela were all typing away at their computers. Phyllis and Stanley were on the phone and Karen….he was surprised to catch Karen’s eye as she stood at the copier. She gave him a small smile and then quickly looked back down at the papers in her hand.

“Dwight…just sign it. You’re not getting fired and your not getting demoted and no this will not effect you having chance of becoming Regional Manager when Michael retires.” Toby said tiredly rubbing his eyes with his hand.

Jim turned his attention back to the situation at hand. “Dwight!” he said loudly standing up. “Just sign the stupid paper! We really don’t have time for this.”

"Uh, Jim, I will not listen to you even if Michael is sick. You are not my boss and as Assistant Regional Manager…” Dwight yelled back his eyes wide open.

“Dwight!” Jan interrupted. “You are not the Assistant Regional Manager. We’ve been over this. Jim is the Assistant Regional Manager. That is why we called him in here.”

Dwight looked like a wounded bird as he hastily signed the paper and tossed it back at Jan.

“Alright…glad we got this little matter taken care of.” Jan said packing the papers into her briefcase. “Thank you for coming in Jim. Tell Pam we are all hoping for her to have a speedy recovery.”

“I will…thanks.” Jim opened the door to Michael’s office. He watched as Dwight stormed back to his desk muttering something about how the office was going to the dogs without the careful leadership of Michael.

“Come on Dwight,” Jim said approaching his desk. “Just think…this will help you in your tae kwon do. Get some of your aggression out.”

“Just because you are supposedly number two in this office does not put you above the law Jim. You don’t have to come in for a week, but I try to do something necessary and beneficial to our employees and I get….reprimanded.” For a minute Jim thought that Dwight was going to cry and he began to feel sort of bad for him.

“Whatever, “ Dwight said as he picked up his phone and began punching in numbers.

Jim picked up his phone and punched in his voice mail code to check his messages. As he was hanging up the phone he heard Jan call his name again.

“Can you come back in here for a minute?” she called from inside Michael’s office.

“Sorry. I know your trying to leave, but I need to ask a huge favor of you.” Jan asked as Jim walked in and closed the door..

“Yeah?” he asked.

“Ok…here’s the thing Jim. Michael is not really sick. I coordinated a "management seminar" for him under the guise that it was a magic camp for DM managers and he's there right now.” Jan said hurriedly.

“Wow…” Jim said under his breath. He thought about how much Pam would appreciate this and felt a quick burst of excitement that he could share these things with her again.

“Ok. That would be great.” Jan said standing up and picking up her briefcase.

“Yeah. Have a safe trip back to New York.” Jim gave a small wave as Jan walked out of the office.

“Well Dwight….this has been great.” Jim said has he came back out of Michael’s office.

“Maybe for you….” Dwight muttered angrily from his desk.

“ Because I had to sign a document that I did not agree with and apparently today you are my superior…” Dwight said, still starting at his computer screen.

“Not just today.” Jim said making sure he had his keys and cell phone.

“Uh, Jim, you may be my superior in name but not in my heart. I am the embodiment of the perfect Assistant Regional Manager.” Dwight said rising from his desk.

“Wow Dwight….that should go on your resume.”

“Already there.” Dwight turned and stomped towards the break room.

“Of course it is.” Jim smiled as he waved to Kevin and Phyllis and headed out of the office.

It was almost 11:30 by the time Jim pulled out of the Dunder Mifflin parking lot. He was anxious to get back to the hospital. Just as he was reaching to turn up his radio his cell phone rang. He flipped it open to look at the caller. Rick’s name flashed across the screen.

“Hello?” Jim asked trying to suppress the nervous feeling that crossed over him. He didn’t know why, but his immediate thought was that something was wrong.

“Sure…what’s up?” Jim asked as he pulled up to a stoplight.

Jim appreciated the level of comfort that Pam felt with him. It seemed to make up for the uneasiness of the past months.

“Sounds good! Do you want me to pick up some lunch while I‘m there?” Jim asked.

“Well I hate to ask you to do that. We can just eat in the cafeteria.” Rick said.

“Yeah no problem. I’ll be there in a bit.” Jim said as he pulled into the parking lot at Scott’s.

He walked inside and made his way to the shampoo isle. This was going to be interesting. He had no idea what kind of shampoo to buy a girl. There was shampoo for straight hair, dry hair, oily hair. He glanced over the bottles and stopped on a section that read ‘For Curly Hair’. “Great….” he thought, ‘that narrows it down to like 50 choices.”

He pulled a bottle off the shelf and opened the top. He was surprised at how quickly the scent brought back the memory.

*** Every guy in the office had checked her out at least once in the first 5 minutes of her being there. He could see the looks on their faces when she had walked in. He could hear the painful conversation that was taking place as Michael tried to ask her out. She was pretty, but as usual she was only compared to one woman…Pam.

He closed the lid to the bottle and made his way down the isle towards the deli. After grabbing some sandwiches, chips and bottled water he headed up to the check out. He happened to glance over as he passed the dairy department. Without even thinking he grabbed a container of mixed-berry yogurt off the shelf and kept walking.

Jim pulled into the parking lot at the hospital a few minutes later. He knocked lightly on the door to Pam’s room.

“Hey..” he said softly when Jenn opened the door.

“Hi! Come on in. Pam just woke up. Thanks so much for bringing lunch.”

Jim walked into the room and set the bags down on the table. “Hi.” he said smiling at Pam.

“When is it ever?” he asked with a laugh.

“True…” she smiled warmly as Jim sat down on the edge of her bed. “So you brought lunch? I am starving!”

“Yup…sandwiches.” he opened up the bag and began getting out the food. “Here you go.” he said handing Pam the yogurt. He was so busy handing out the food to everyone else that he didn’t immediately notice Pam staring at him.

“What?” he asked quizzically when he finally caught her eye.

“Oh…it’s nothing…it’s just…thanks.” she said softly holding up the yogurt container.

Jim just smiled and then bit into his ham and cheese. After lunch Rick went back to Pam's to check in with his work. As he was leaving Pam’s doctor came in.

“How are you feeling?” he asked.

“Okay…a little uncomfortable with my leg still up in this thing.” Pam said.

“That’d be great!” Pam said.

“Alright, well this will just be quick.” the doctor said as he reached up to the harness. “Now you can get out of bed, but don’t over do it. Just a little bit at a time. I am leaving a wheelchair by the door to help you get around. I don’t want you fully vertical yet, so don’t try to walk out of here.”

“Ok!” Pam smiled. “Thanks!”

A few minutes later the doctor was gone and Pam seemed thrilled that she could finally turn on her side.

“Do you want to try and take a shower now?” Jenn asked.

“Yes!” Pam said. Jenn wheeled the chair over to the bedside. Pam slowly pulled the blankets back.

“Ouch…“ she said gingerly touching her ribs. “This is going to be harder than I thought. Jim? Do you think you help me?” she asked tentatively.

“Sure…” Jim went over and carefully placed one hand on the small of her back and took her hand in his other. Slowly he helped her to a sitting position and then he gently lifted her into the wheelchair. His heart skipped a beat as her hand lingered in his and she gave it a small squeeze.

He just smiled like a huge dork. He couldn’t even speak. This was so natural. This is how it was supposed to be.

“Well Jim…” Richard said picking up the TV remote. “Let’s turn this thing on and see if we can find a game or something.”

Pam gave his hand one last squeeze as her mom wheeled her into the bathroom. Jim sunk down into the armchair by her bed. Jim and Richard sat in silence while Richard flipped through channels. Suddenly he turned to Jim and asked, “You really love her don’t you?”

Jim was stunned for a minute like maybe he should talk to Pam about this first, but the happiness he was feeling overpowered him and he simply answered, “Yes sir. I do.”

Richard smiled and looked back at the TV. “Good.” he said softly.

Jim and Richard spent the next hour talking about their favorite sports teams and watching game highlights on ESPN. Jim was happy to learn that her dad was almost as big of a Phillies fan as he was. They were right in the middle of talking about which player they would trade when the bathroom door opened. Pam’s mom wheeled her out of the bathroom and parked the wheelchair next to Jim. He thought that Pam looked beautiful. She was wearing a dark blue sweater and gray yoga pants. Her hair was extra curly and pulled back in a loose ponytail. He could smell her shampoo as she shifted in her chair to lean a little closer to him.

“It’s so nice to be out of that bed.” Pam said. “Except for this cast itches like crazy!”

“Do you guys feel like playing a game or anything?” Jenn asked. “We brought a few over from when we went to your house Pam.”

“Sure…a game sounds fun. Jim?” Pam asked turning to Jim.

“Oh please…in case you forgot I kicked your butt in poker.” The smile that was on Pam’s face quickly faded as the mention of ‘poker’ brought back the memory of that night. Jim immediately noticed her expression change and he quickly caught her eye.

“That was just a fluke. Plus…I just happen to be an Uno professional. One of my lesser known, but highly useful attributes.” he said with a smile that he hoped sent the message, “it’s okay now”.

Jim was still amazed about how much was conveyed between them by just a look. In every look there was a thousand words. They seemed to have whole conversations just by making eye contact. Pam took his cue and retorted back, “Highly useful? Like a super power?”

Jim stood up and grabbed the handles of her wheelchair. “Oh yeah…I often use my Uno skills to fight crime.”

“Crap…you‘re on to me. Now I have to move…change identities…” Jim laughed as he wheeled Pam’s chair up to the table.

Jenn and Richard smiled as they watched the interaction between their daughter and Jim. It had been so long since they had seen her like this. This was the Pam they knew. The Pam that was never around when she was with Roy. “Finally…she’s back.” Jenn thought as she sat down at the table. Richard dealt out the cards and the game began.

“Out!!” Jim shouted as he laid down his last card.

“No!” Pam groaned. “I had one card left! I swear your cheating!”

“Your just mad because I’ve beaten you three games in a row.” Jim said.

“Guess you really do have card-playing super powers.” Pam said with a fake pout.

Pam stifled a yawn. “Wow…that took a lot out of me! Who would of thought that card playing could be so intense?”

“Oh please…just wait until I am back to full form. Then you’ll see my real skills come out.” Pam said. Then she faltered. “I mean…not that you’ll be waiting until I am better or anything…I mean you do have a life…” she trailed off. A look of sadness washed over her face. “I’m really tired. I think I need to take a nap.”

Richard walked over and helped his daughter back into bed.

“We’ll let you get some rest.” Jenn said. She quickly motioned to Richard and they left the room.

“You don’t have to sta…” Pam began.

“Karen and I broke up.” Jim blurted out. He knew that wondering about that was the reason for her hesitation. He saw the mixed look of concern, questioning and happiness on her face.

“Oh…I’m sorry Jim.” he knew that she was genuine in her apology, but he could also hear relief in her tone.

“No…don’t be. It wasn’t…she wasn’t…” he couldn’t even think of what to say. “It would never have worked out.”

He smiled has her nose scrunched up as she tried to hide another yawn. “I’m sorry!” she said. “I really want to say…I mean…I know we need to talk, but I am worn out. But you don’t have to stay Jim…I mean I want you too….but if you need to go…”

Jim didn’t answer. He just sat down in the chair by her bed and took her hand.

“Go to sleep.” he said gently. “I’ll be right here.”

Jim slowly opened his eyes and glanced at the clock on the wall. 5:45. He looked over at the bed. Pam was sitting up against the pillows sketching something in a notebook.

“What are you drawing?” he asked making Pam jump.

“Hey! I didn’t even notice you wake up!” she said blushing. She glanced down at the book in her hands and then looked back at Jim.

“How long have I been asleep?” Jim stood up and stretched his arms over his head.

“Too long!” she said as she set down the pencil and started to close the notebook.

“What were you drawing?” Jim asked again.

“Can I see it?” Jim asked softly.

“I guess…it’s not…it’s just a sketch.” she muttered handing him the notebook.

“Wow….” he said looking down at the picture. It was a detailed drawing of flowers…with a yogurt lid medal around the vase. “This is great Pam.”

‘Thank you for the flowers Jim. They are beautiful.” she smiled up at him as he handed her back the sketch book.

“I am glad you like them.” he sat back down in the chair. “So where are your parents?”

“I couldn’t take the humiliation!” Pam said with a laugh. “Actually…I was thinking...I mean if you wouldn’t mind…maybe we could go for a walk. Or at least you could walk and push me with you!! I really could use some time out of this room!”

“Yeah…” Jim said as an idea dawned on him. “That is a great idea. I actually have somewhere I’d like to show you.”

Pam looked at him quizzically. “Where?”

“It’s a surprise.” Jim smiled mischievously. Jim pulled the wheelchair over to the side of the bed. Then he bent over and gently helped Pam into the chair. He took another sweater out of the bag that her mom had brought and grabbed the blanket off the bed and covered her lap with it. Tears sprang to Pam’s eyes at his thoughtfulness. He didn’t even need to be asked. He just did it.

“Ready?” he asked.

“Great Pam. Why did you have to ruin the surprise.” Jim pretended to pout as he carefully wheeled Pam out of the room and down the hall. As they neared the double doors at the end of the hall he bent down close and softly whispered in her ear, “Close your eyes.”

Pam’s stomach fluttered at the feel of his breath on her here, but she did as he asked. She pulled the sweater tightly around her chest as she felt the cold air hit her.

“Are you busting me out of here?” she asked.

Suddenly her chair stopped and she again felt the warmth of his body lean closer to her as he said “Ok…you can open them.”

As Pam opened her eyes her breath caught in her throat. She was in the middle of a beautiful garden. There were flowers everywhere and she heard the faint sound of trickling water. “Oh wow…” she breathed softly. “This is amazing Jim.”

“I knew you’d like it. Look…you can see out over the city.” Jim sat down on the bench that was next to her chair. He loved the way that the setting sun made her hair seem to glow. The light hit her face perfectly and Jim knew that he would never forget this image. They sat in silence for a few minutes looking out over the skyline of Scranton. He heard Pam take a deep breath as she turned to look at him. “Jim…” she began. He knew this was it. He saw her twisting her ring finger in her other hand and slowly reached over and took her hand in his.

“Wow…I don’t even know where to start.” she said. “There is just so much I want to say to you.” He could see that she was mustering up all the courage she had. Finally she met his gaze. “I told Roy. I told him that I kissed you at Casino Night. That’s why we got in the accident. He was so mad. He was yelling…and then…I guess that was it. When it happened.” Jim felt a small surge of anger deep in his gut, but he let her continue. “I wanted to be honest with him…but I guess it was just another way of not being honest with myself. I don’t know why I left the wedding with him. I knew from the beginning that it was a mistake. But I saw you with her and I was so…lonely. It’s stupid I know, but I thought that if I was back with him it would help take my mind off you. Didn’t work though!” she laughed weakly.

Jim waited for her to continue. “I am so sorry Jim. I am so sorry about everything. I am sorry about that night. I wanted to say yes. So badly. I’d felt that way for so long…but I couldn’t let myself admit it. I felt that by you admitting it, I was finally going to have to face the reality of it all and I wasn‘t ready to do that.” A small tear escaped her eyes and she quickly looked down at her hands. “Then you kissed me…and everything changed, but for some stupid reason…I still couldn’t admit it. I wanted too, but then you were gone.” Her tears were falling faster now and Jim felt wetness in his own eyes, but still he sat quietly, afraid that if he spoke it would ruin it. She sniffled, “I wanted to call you a million times after you left, but I didn’t know what I’d say. I must of started a hundred e-mails…I wanted to tell you that I had called off the wedding…and maybe…we could try again, but I could never find the right way to say it. I knew I had to change some things. I had been living my life in a way that wasn’t me for so long and I had to fix that. Then I found out that you were coming back and I was hoping…wishing for a new start. But…it wasn’t what I…you were with someone…which was…well that’s not the point. I mean, I don’t know what I was expecting. But, I just missed you. I missed you so much.” She wiped her eyes with her free hand. She raised her eyes once more to look at him. “Jim, I am so sorry…for all of it.”

The look in her eyes was so expressive…so heartbreaking that Jim couldn’t take it anymore. He reached out and softly touched her cheek. Wiping a tear away with his thumb, he tenderly pulled her face towards his, leaned in and kissed her. It was a soft, light kiss, but he could immediately feel the electricity flood through his body. He could feel wetness on his cheek and he didn’t know if they were from her tears…or his. This was the kiss…the kind of kiss that people write all those songs about. He used to mock those songs, but as he felt her fingers in his hair he suddenly knew what they meant. He pulled back slowly, but his hand never left her face.

“I love you.” she whispered as she looked into his eyes. “I love you so much.”

It was all he had ever wanted. Those words. All he had ever needed to hear.

“Oh…Pam…you have no idea. I love you too.” he leaned in and kissed her again.

Because he could. Because this time it was different.

“Okay…I have an announcement.” Michael said loudly walking into the break room.

“You pushed Darryl out the window?” Oscar asked not looking up from his yogurt.

“You shot Dwight?” Phyllis asked with a smirk.

“No…that’s not funny. I love my employees….even though I hit one of you with my car.” Michael said casting a glance at the camera. “I just want to take everyone’s mind off this tragedy and on to more positive things. So I thought we could plant a tree in remembran…”

“Ok!” Pam said interrupting Michael. “We’re leaving for the hospital at 1:00. I can take three people.”

************************************************************************

Jim gave the camera a knowing look while Michael tried in vain to get Meredith to publicly forgive him in her hospital room. He was so amused with Michael attempts that he didn’t notice Pam slip quietly out of the room. When he turned to whisper something to her he saw she was gone. He looked around at his colleagues and saw that they were all as absorbed in the awkwardness of Michael/Meredith as he had been so he silently turned and walked out.

The months since Pam’s accident had been the best of his life. They were practically inseparable. They had so many lost moments to make up for. Even now after thousands of kisses and “I love you’s” he still couldn’t believe that he was with her. Sometimes he would wake up in the middle of the night searching…just to make sure that she was laying next to him…that it hadn’t all just been a dream. He loved the fact that they could spend a Saturday night doing absolutely nothing and he was convinced that he’d never had so much fun. He loved finding one of her shirts mixed in with his laundry. He loved the way she smiled at him when he would find her sketching on his patio in the early morning.

They had their moments. They were learning each others quirks and weaknesses. They had arguments over wet towels on the bed and about what movie to watch, but he realized that he would rather fight with her forever than be without her for one more second. They didn’t talk about the past anymore. Everything had been forgiven in a kiss and an ’I love you’ in a rooftop garden. They focused on the present…and of course their future. As he made his way down a familiar hallway in the hospital, pictures of the past few months played in his head like a slideshow. Both of them laughing as he helped her up the stairs to her apartment when she was released from the hospital. Sunday visits with her family. The first time she met his parents and how she fit right in…as he had always known she would. The first time she met Jon and how he had fallen in love with her almost immediately. The feel of her hand in his as they took long walks at night. A smile or wink over the top of her desk. A drawing of a vase of flowers with a yogurt lid medal that she had framed and given to him. If these were only a handful of the memories he had with her from the past few months he couldn’t wait to see what the future brought.

He smiled as he pushed open the doors and saw her standing with her back to him, looking out over the city.

“You missed a pretty good show back there.” he said as he approached her. “Michael was really on a roll.”

She sighed happily as he wrapped his arms around her. “The city looks beautiful from up here.” she whispered.

“Yeah…” he said leaning his chin on the top of her head.

She turned in his arms to look up at him. They didn’t even need words to express how they both were feeling. He felt her fingers softly graze his cheek as they moved up to his hair. He saw the same happiness that he felt shining in her green eyes.

“I love you Jim.” she said as she stood on her tiptoes and softly kissed him. He wrapped his arms tighter around her and pressed his lips more firmly against hers. Finally pulling away he smoothed a curl away from her face. His eyes locked with hers. This was his life. He had everything he needed right here. “I love you too.” he whispered and kissed her again.