"I'm not going. I'll just...I'll hit the pavement...and get a job here. And...or I'll take the severance and just...((sigh)) jesus. Oh.my.god."
"Take a deep breath."
"I can't...I mean, seriously. Who did I piss off? Did I do something to deserve this? Is this like karma for something? A curse or voodoo doll or something?"
"Maybe it's just...fate?"
"Fate...is a bitch."
"True."
"Ughhh...I...can't go back there."
"Yeah, you can. You can do this. You can. You're stronger. And you've over it and you're-"
"Completely going to fall apart the moment I see her."
"Yeah. Or maybe not. Maybe you'll go back and not feel anything. I mean...you know there's life after Pam. You've been flirting with that Karen, maybe it'll turn to something good. Like...maybe you can see that someone like Karen who's into you means something more than someone like Pam who's..."
"Yeah, maybe."
"It'll be okay."
"It'll be alright."
"Yeah."
"Yeah."
"((sigh)) Yeah..."
"Hey...I'm on my way to meet Karen, because if anything....she deserves a drink after today."
"It was that bad?"
"Imagine, someone deshorting you in front of your whole gym class in high school. And then...take that feeling and mix it with that dream of being naked on the first day of school...and then....take that and multiply it times infinity. And you might just feel a faction of embarrassment that Michael made people feel today."
"My god! What-?"
"It's not the *what*, Jon. It's the *why*."
"And there is no explanation for the why. Because this Michael guy is obviously insane. So...um... you and Karen. For a drink? Is anything in Scranton even still open?"
"Um...yeah. Well you know...we went on that date right before we left Stamord and it was nice."
"It was, huh?"
"Yeah, she's really cool. She's well traveled. She speaks Italian and French."
"God...that sounds...wow."
"Yea, so...ya know. I'll leave that to your dirty imagination."
"I'm just waiting. I'm very patient."
"For what?"
"For you to say something."
"Jon."
"Jim."
"Okay, yeah I saw her. I mean, it's, ah, kind of hard not to, she sits at reception."
"And?"
"She said hi. I said hi. That's it. She...um...she looked great. She was happy to see me."
"How happy?"
"I don't know, didn't talk to her much. Day was kind of busy. Michael tried to incite a riot by flattening all of our tires. Half of the Stamford people quit. It was a busy day so I wasn't like...able to do the whole reunion thing, ya know? She...asked me to coffee but...I...said no."
"Wow. Big step."
"I think so. In the right direction. We're...friends. We'll *always* be friends."
"You sound so sure of that. That's a good thing."
"Definitely."
"Yeah. Well have fun with Karen."
"I'll try."
"She what?"
"She's moving down the street from me."
"What? Why?"
"Because...it's not a big deal. It's okay. I mean, it's not like she's moving in. My apartment. Really...I'm being ridiculous, it's like ten minutes away."
"That's kind of close. That's basically like moving in."
"I said that too, but...Pa- someone convinced me I was being stupid about the whole thing, so..."
"Wait. Back up. Pam. You said Pam. You talked to Pam about Karen. Moving down the street from you. You told this...to Pam."
"I told this to Pam. It's no big deal. She knows I'm dating Karen. Mostly everyone knows...unfortunately. But yeah, she saw I was stressed out and she helped me. That's what friends do."
"Right. Friends."
"Shut.Up."
"It's just weird. To have the girl you were like in love with, talk to you about the girl you're in like with now."
"Yeah. It's weird."
"It's really weird."
"I get it...you can...shutup. It's not as weird as Michael and Jan sleeping together in Sandals Jamaica."
"Jan? Your boss boss? Seriously? Why?"
"I have no idea."
"But...why?"
"Haha, I don't know. It's....so...that's why the Scranton Branch is never boring."
"That's why HR has you sign the love contracts."
"That is exactly why."
"You people are weird."
"Yeah...we are. We're Lazy Scranton."