Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

“I’m getting married today!” Pam squealed with delight as she walked briskly down the halls of the church and into a dressing room, her hands full of supplies. Her mother was following closely behind her, carrying her dress. The camera crew followed her into the room and watched her set her rollers and makeup case down gently on a vanity.

“It’s weird that this day is finally here.” she looked back up at the camera. “I mean, when I was engaged before, I was big on the countdown. Like, ‘three months until my wedding, eight months until my wedding, three months until my wedding… again.’ But this time, I tried my best not to do a countdown, and the day seemed to just sneak up on me!” She paused for a moment and glanced at her mother, who wore a gigantic smile that matched her own. “I liked this engagement much better.”

.........

Jim walked at a fast and deliberate place, with Dwight at his heels and the cameraman walking in front of them.

“Now you’re sure you know what you’re doing.”

“Of course. What do I look like?”

“And you know not to let anyone in to her room, not even me.”

“And risk bad luck on the matrimony? Not a chance. I am the impenetrable fortress.”

“And whatever she asks of you, you have to do for her.”

“I am at her disposal.”

“Good. Here’s her room.” They approached the door to Pam’s dressing room, Jim’s arm raised to knock, but he was immediately stopped by the tight grip of Dwight’s hand.

“Are you insane, man?” he whispered fiercely. “You’re forgetting your own rules!”

Jim looked at the camera with an expression as if to say, ‘this is what I have to put up with,’ and then turned back to Dwight. “Oh yeah, right,” he said in his most naïve voice, and then turned to walk away from the man now ferociously guarding the bride’s door.

.........

“So, we remembered what a good job Dwight did at Phyllis’ wedding with keeping unwanted guests out…” Jim paused as he remembered that the only unwanted guest at that reception was Michael, and then he continued, “So we decided to put him on bride guard duty. Basically, Pam was worried Michael would be trying to bother her more than usual today, which… is a legitimate fear, actually.”

.........

“I think I’m a perfect candidate for a guard,” Dwight stated proudly, trying to stand up as straight as he could. “In fact, I once applied to be a bodyguard for the president. They rejected my application though, on the basis of my mother’s maiden name, Manheim. Apparently fighting for the Germans in WWII gets you and your spawn blackballed.”

.........

Michael practically bounced up the steps to the church, a light in his eyes like that of a kid in a candy store. He stopped at the front doors to read the placard announcing the wedding:

Ceremony Today:

For the union of Pamela Beesly and James Halpert

Three o’clock

Reception in the main hall to follow

Michael gave the camera a big toothy grin and pointed at the sign, barely able to speak.

.........

“This day will go down in Dunder Mifflin history,” Michael began, in a voice that was unmistakably giddy. “As the day that the Scranton branch forms its first family. Jan and I don’t really count, cause she was corporate… and we’re not married yet.” Michael thought about this for a moment. “But in a way, we do count, because we are like the level above Jim and Pam. We are the corporate family, and they are like our kids. Which means when they have kids, I’ll be a grandfather.” He nodded in approval of his logic, a stupidly large grin still plastered on his face.

.........

Michael half-skipped down the corridors of the church until he managed to find Dwight, still faithfully guarding Pam’s dressing room door. Michael gave a look to the camera like he would be able to get into the room with no problem, and so his paced slowed to a cool, confident stride.

“Hey buddy,” Michael greeted Dwight with a friendly punch on the arm. Dwight didn’t budge.

“Hello.”

“Pam in there?” he asked innocently. The camera panned to Dwight, who glanced over at it slyly.

“Yes.”

“Can I see her? I want to wish her a happy wedding day.”

“No.”

“Wha—Come on, man!” Michael’s face turned to one of astonishment as Dwight continued to block the entrance.

.........

“You know, Phyllis asked me to co-give her away.” Michael stood, arms crossed in the hallway a short ways away from Dwight, who could be seen in the background of the camera’s shot. “And, I single-handedly get Pam and Jim together and they don’t even ask me to be an usher or anything! And I can’t even see the bride before the ceremony… If they hadn’t purposely saved their ten annual vacation days for a honeymoon, I would’ve given them nothin’.”

.........

“Dwight, how about I give you…” Michael reached into his pockets, “Five whole dollars?”

Dwight scoffed and continued staring straight ahead, “Please.”

“Then how does a…” Michael pondered what he could offer. “A two percent raise sound?”

“Jim said he’d be my servant for a week if I did this for him,” Dwight responded, matter-of-factly. “We have a notarized contract and everything.”

.........

“It reads: ‘The party of the first part is to be the party of the second part’s personal servant for a week, obeying every order given by the party of the second part to the best of the party of the first part’s abilities—‘“ Dwight looked up from the contract and nodded at the camera a impish look on his face. “Welcome to the Hotel Hell; Dwight K. Schrute is the bellboy on-duty.”

.........

Sensing Dwight wasn’t going to budge, Michael decided to go for Plan B. “Fine. Then I will go check on the groom!” he told Dwight, not yet defeated in his chance to be a part of the couple’s special day. He turned up his nose and started off down the hallway again to the groom’s quarters.

.........

Jim was just finishing tying his tie as he continued to talk to the camera, “So, that’s when we just thought, why not make the theme ‘jellybeans’?” He laughed at the thought that his wedding reception was themed like a child’s birthday party, and then he looked back at the camera, “Pam actually did some investigating, and it turns out the Jelly Belly website has lots of ideas for favors for guests and table arrangements… And we’re actually giving away a whole jar of jellybeans to the person who guesses how many are in the jar.” He gave the camera a sly smile and then said softly, “There’s 12,463. That was a fun day counting all of those out.”

Just then, there was a knock at the door. Jim looked at his watch, wondering if it may be one of his groomsmen, and then opened the door to find Michael on the other side. He shot a look to the camera and then greeted his visitor, “Michael… How are ya? I thought you were coming later with Jan…”

“Jim-bag…” Michael pushed his way through the door and stood in the center of the room, an annoyed expression on his face. “Why is it that I can’t see the bride?”

“Oh, because she doesn’t want you to.” Jim knew as the words were coming out of his mouth that that explanation might be a tad hurtful, and so he did the honorable thing and told a white lie. “See, she wants everyone to be surprised by… her dress and everything.”

“Why? Is it like red or something? Or stained—Like a joke dress?” Michael giggled at the thought as Jim gave another look to the camera.

“Nope, it’s, uh—“ They both heard a vibration coming from the small vanity. It was Jim’s phone, and so he rushed to pick it up. “Hello?... Hey man… What?... Slow down…” Michael watched as the expression on Jim’s face grew serious. After a short while, he finally managed to say, “Okay… Well obviously that’s—yeah. It starts at three, so… Yeah, keep me updated… Bye.” He closed the phone and looked up at Michael. “That was my brother, my best man. His daughter’s in the hospital with a really high fever… Man, I hope she’s okay.”

Michael looked solemn for only a moment before he asked, “So, the position of best man is open then?”

The camera panned around the bride’s dressing room to see three bridesmaids rushing around getting hair and makeup done, and finally it rested on Pam in her ivory wedding dress, rollers being taken out of her hair carefully by her mother. She adjusted one of the straps of her v-neck gown and looked at herself in the mirror. She couldn’t keep a smile off her face.

Then her phone began to play a twinkling tune, and so she picked it up and bit her lip as she answered, “I don’t know if it’s okay to even call the bride before you see her—“ Then all the ladies were startled by the tall bodyguard bursting through the door. He stomped over to Pam and immediately snatched up her phone.

“It’s not okay. Especially if you have one of those camera phones…” Dwight began to inspect the phone as he received shouts of protests from both sides of the call.

“Dwight! Give me my phone!” Pam shouted as she tried to reach her cell phone, now being held high above their heads. “What if it’s important?”

“It is important!” they heard Jim yell from the receiver. “Dwight!... Can I at least talk to her through you?” Dwight pondered this for a moment, knowing with these two he couldn’t take any chances. He finally agreed to it and put the phone to his ear to let Jim speak: “Okay. So my brother’s little girl is in the hospital with a high fever, and which means we have no best man.”

“You have no best man,” Dwight relayed the message to Pam, to which a look of confusion and worry appeared on her face.

“We what?”

“The best man’s daughter is sick in the hospital. High fever.”

“Oh my gosh…” Pam turned away at the thought of her soon-to-be niece in a hospital bed. “Is she going to be okay?”

“Is she going to be okay,” Dwight repeated into the phone in a much less concerned tone of voice. He listened for a moment and then told Pam, “His brother’s going to keep him updated. But the problem now is that there’s no best man. Specifically, the best man’s tux is different from the other two, and his other brother and Mark wouldn’t fit into it.”

xxx

On the other end of the phone conversation, Michael was already stripping himself down to his boxers and undershirt, ready to try on the best man’s tux. “Jim, how tall is your brother? Like, 5’ 11’? 5’ 12”…?” Jim glanced at Michael and immediately turned his head away from his practically nude boss, the phone still pressed to his ear.

He covered the receiver and told him, “He’s 6’ 1”. And put your pants back on!” He then said into the phone, “Look. I really would just like to speak to Pam directly. Okay?”

xxx

Dwight glanced in the direction of the obviously upset bride, and then whispered into the phone, “ You know the guidelines. I can only follow orders that Pam gives…” This comment perked her up quite a bit; she hadn’t known this rule, and would’ve taken advantage of it quite a while ago.

She gave the camera a pleased look and then instructed him, “Dwight. Give me the phone.” He stared at her for a moment, unsure of whether to trust her or not, and then she ordered again, “Dwight. Phone… Please.” Dwight’s sense of order and rules, after several moments of inner-struggle, broke him down, and so he sullenly handed the cell phone over to her. She put it to her ear and turned away from the group, “Who would fit into your brother’s tux?”

“Not a lot of people, really…” the camera managed to pick up Jim’s voice on the other end of the line. “Not a lot of people who I’d want—Michael, get out of my brother’s tux!”

xxx

“He’s not gonna use it!” Michael protested as he showed off the best man’s tux to the camera. Although he was only 5’ 10”, Michael filled out the suit surprisingly well. Only the pants needed to be shortened a bit, but the rest of the suit was passable. Jim sighed as he silently wished his brother had more torso than legs on him, and eventually accepted the inevitable.

“Actually, I may have found our replacement best man…” Jim said hesitantly into the phone as he examined the fit of the tux on Michael’s frame a little closer. He shook his head at the camera, wondering how this Cinderella had managed to virtually shrink the glass slipper.

xxx

“Michael??” Pam shrieked into the phone, a horrified expression on her face. “No. Anyone but him… He’ll ruin everything!” She sat down in a chair and placed a hand on her forehead, rubbing her right temple. Dwight, her mother, and her bridesmaids could only look on with dread as Pam continued to plead with her fiancée. “No. We know what he did at Phyllis’ wedding. He—Well what if he loses the rings or something?... Yeah… Do you think you could get him to agree to that?... Okay, I’ll send Dwight over.” Pam shut the phone, still somewhat stunned of what she had just approved. Michael Scott was going to be the best man at her wedding.

“What is it?” Dwight stepped forward, remembering his name being mentioned in conversation.

“You need to go see Jim and Michael,” she told him as she set the phone on the vanity. “You’re a notary, right?” Dwight nodded, and so Pam responded, “They’re drawing up a contract. They need your notarization. Jim says this takes priority.”

“On it!” And without much warning, Dwight was out the door in a flash, leaving the bride and her entourage in total shock.

xxx

“I really don’t feel good about this,” Pam admitted, now sitting in an armchair in the dressing room. “I mean, we made sure to take every precaution so Michael couldn’t get involved… And now he’s going to be in our wedding photos and everything! Like even the ones of just the two of us, he’ll probably be able to find his way into the background…” She paused to ponder this for a moment. “Maybe we can airbrush him out.”

xxx

“Does it look legit?” Michael asked anxiously as Dwight looked over a piece of paper, Jim standing close by.

“It appears so.”

Jim nodded, “Okay, read it back to us—“

xxx

“Oh yeah, I made contracts with everyone,” Jim told the camera as he held up a stack of papers. He flipped through them, “I made one with Kelly not to wear white. I made one with Meredith to only have a maximum of five drinks at the reception. And I was going to wait until today to make one with Michael so he wouldn’t have time to back out of it… but I guess this works too.”

xxx

Dwight cleared his throat and read: “’The party of the first part,’ that’s you, Michael, ‘is to be the best man to the party of the second part,’ which is Jim. Uh, ‘He will follow all directions given to him by the party of the second part, which are as follows: at the ceremony, the party of the first part will be silent at all times. He will remain on his mark to the left of the party of the second part. He will not touch the bride—‘“

“Wait, I can’t touch her under any circumstances?” Michael clarified.

Jim looked at him with skepticism, “What circumstances would require you to touch her?”

“Uhh… Maybe if she fainted…”

“How about,” Jim put his finger to his chin in thought, “You just trust me to catch her?”

“Okay…”

“Okay. Keep reading Dwight.”

“’He will keep the rings in his right front pocket and take them out when the party of the second part asks for them. When the ceremony has ended, the party of the first part will take the hand of the maid of honor and walk down the aisle with her, remaining silent and not making any detours on his route to the back of the church. At the reception—‘“

“There’s rules for the reception too?!” Michael protested.

“Michael, you got kicked out of Phyllis’ reception…” Jim pointed out.

Michael let out a groan and finally said, “Fine. Keep reading.”

Dwight continued: “’At the reception, the party of the first part willnot touch the bride, unless at her discretion. He will keep his best man’s speech to a five-minute maximum, and will only use a maximum of two introductions.” Michael’s jaw dropped, but he decided not to complain about the speech rules and listened to the rest of the regulations. “He will refrain from interfering with any staging of the reception, which includes: serving of food, cutting of cake, organizing of dancing, throwing of bouquets, choosing of music, making of announcements, or any other events herein occurring within the time frame of the reception. The party of the first part will be allowed to be in wedding photos—‘”

“Really Jim?” Michael’s eyes looked misty. Jim nodded reluctantly and Dwight kept reading.

“’But only those he is specified to be a part of. He will not follow the bride and party of the second part into their vehicle after the reception. He will not make any inappropriate jokes or comments. The party of the first part is to also follow any spontaneous rules given by the bride or the party of the second part, and if he does not follow any of these instructions, his best man’s-ship is considered null and void.’” Dwight nodded in approval and told them, “This looks valid.” He pulled out his official notary stamp and provided his seal to the contract.

xxx

“Well, I will admit that I sacrificed a bit in the contract…” Michael hung his head. “But it’s worth it to be a part of the most important day of my life.” He smiled slightly, a triumphant look in his eyes. Then he added, “I mean, until my own wedding.”

Guests slowly began to arrive at the church. The cameras watched as the couple’s coworkers found seats. Andy and Angela were some of the first to arrive. They signed the guestbook separately, Andy signing his as “The ‘Nard Dog,” but Andy refused to let go of Angela’s arm as they walked down the aisle to their seats.

“Think someday this’ll be us, Angie?” Andy asked innocently as he began to hum ‘The Wedding March.’

“That’s highly doubtful,” she replied under her breath as they sat down.

Andy stopped humming and leaned in, “What was that buttercup?”

“Nothing.” She gave him a phony smile as she pulled out the kneeler and began to pray.

xxx

Phyllis and Bob Vance stood outside the church, Bob’s arm around Phyllis. She told the camera, “We think it’s great that they found each other and finally got together. Now they can be as happy as we are.” The two smiled at each other appreciatively.

xxx

The cameras soon came upon Stanley and his wife, Terri, in the parking lot. They continued to walk briskly toward the church as Stanley commented, “Another wedding, another toaster.” Creed followed behind them with only a greeting card and roll of tape in his hands and a mischievous look in his eyes.

xxx

Ryan carefully scanned the crowds of people entering the rows of pews and decided on a spot closer to the back. The camera zoomed in on him as it caught his eye. He acknowledged the camera, and then his attention was immediately drawn to the back entrance.

“Girl, I just don’t understand why you wearin’ white. Jim told you not to,” Darryl commented as he and Kelly came into the church.

Kelly scoffed at him, “It’s not white, it’s crème. Totally different.” Then she spotted Ryan and grabbed on to Darryl’s arm, “Oh. Hello Ryan.”

“Hi Kelly. Hi Darryl,” Ryan sighed as the two passed him and sat a few rows in front of him. Kelly shot a look back at Ryan and then began playing with Darryl’s hair and stroking his sport coat, giggling up a storm.

xxx

Ryan shook his head and told the camera, “It’s been over a year. Is she really still trying to make me jealous?”

xxx

Toby situated himself between two couples, Oscar and Gil and Kevin and Stacy. Kevin looked over at him slyly and asked, “No date to this wedding?”

“Amy was busy,” Toby explained.

“Yeah. Right,” Kevin giggled. Then he leaned over to ask Oscar, “Hey, wanna bet stuff about the ceremony? Like in Wedding Crashers?”

Oscar gave him an incredulous look, “What?”

“You know,” Kevin clarified. “Like if Pam’s going to cry, or what Bible verse they’re going to read…”

“Kevin, can you name a verse from the Bible?”

Kevin thought for a moment. “To thine own self be true?” Oscar just shook his head and Gil looked disgustedly at Kevin.

xxx

An usher stopped Meredith on her way into the church. “We were warned about you, miss. We need to see inside your purse.” Meredith sighed and opened her purse up. The usher looked inside and began to take out several small bottles of alcohol.

xxx

Dwight casually took his seat, which gave him a very convenient view of the back of Angela’s head. He tapped her on the shoulder, “You know, I’m going to have a personal servant for a week. Perhaps he can arrange a romantic dinner for us—“

Angela turned around and hissed, “Dwight. Not here. Just because we are intimate again does not mean we can go about talking in public.” She turned back around just as Andy took his seat. Angela’s face became flushed.

“Man, what a line for the crapper!” he commented as he put his arm around Angela. “At least I won’t have to go during the ceremony.” Angela shrunk down in her seat as the camera caught her eye.

xxx

“Things are fine with Andy—“ Angela protested. “He doesn’t really understand my needs… but I don’t need my boyfriend to fulfill all my needs…” She bit her lip out of nervousness as the camera zoomed in on her face.

xxx

“You’re what?” Jan asked into her cell phone as she entered the church and took a seat near the front.

“I’m the best man!” Michael shouted through the phone. “I’m the understudy. Jim’s brother couldn’t make it.”

Jan rubbed her forehead, “Michael, why would they make you the best man?”

xxx

“Because,” Michael said into the phone as he was standing in the groom’s quarters with only the top half of the best man’s tux on, “I fit into the suit the best. Don’t you know anything about acting, Jan? Sometimes they cast parts based solely on who can fit into the costume.” The camera panned around the room to the other two groomsmen, Jim’s other brother and Jim’s old roommate, Mark, getting dressed, both glaring at Michael in annoyance. Finally, it panned over to Jim’s mother, who was diligently hemming the new best man’s pants.

xxx

“I just can’t believe they’re letting you do this without—What? Ohh, they made you sign a contract. Well, that makes more sense… Well from what I heard, you ruined Phyllis’ wedding, Michael,” Jan told him bluntly as she reached into her purse for a mirror to check her makeup. “I’m not going to discuss that with you now… Well I’m here, so I’ll be watching… Okay… Good luck. Bye.” She closed the phone and rolled her eyes. She then looked into the camera and told them, “I hope this won’t be a disaster… for everyone’s sake.”

xxx

“Okay Michael, so you remember the rules?” Jim asked as he and his groomsmen walked down the hall to enter the church and take their places at the altar.

“Abso-fruitly.”

“And you’re going to be silent, and stay exactly where I tell you to stand?”

“Jim, have a little faith in me. Please.” Michael stopped and gave Jim a serious look, causing him to exhale heavily.

“I’m sorry man. I’m just really nervous.”

Michael’s face expressed confusion, “What do you have to be nervous about? You got her here, didn’t you?”

Jim shrugged, “Yeah…”

“I mean, she’s head over heels for you. I really don’t think she’s the run away bride type…” Michael put his hand on Jim’s shoulder and then thought for a moment, “Unless she has Roy waiting outside on a motorcycle for her—“

“Okay Michael.” Jim walked away abruptly, leaving Michael to finish his train of thought and then run to catch up.

xxx

“Okay, so you know the old poem about ‘something old, something new…’?” Pam asked the camera rhetorically as she waited for her cue to enter the church. “Well here’s mine: my something old is this bracelet my parents gave me for my sixteenth birthday.” She held up her wrist, which had a silver bracelet on it. “My something new is my dress…” The camera zoomed out to show her dress off. It was a floor length, ivory-colored, sheath-silhouette, satin gown, with a v-neck neckline and an empire waist embellished with beading. She did a small twirl for the camera, smiling demurely, and continued, “My something borrowed are these shoes that Kelly loaned me—“ She lifted up her dress slightly to show the camera a pair of strappy, ivory kitten-heels. “She swears by them. And my something blue is, well…” She grinned and held up a blue yogurt lid attached to a string of paper clips.

Suddenly the music began to play and the camera panned to her bridesmaids entering the church. It panned back to the bride as her father came up to her and took her arm. Pam bit her lip in anticipation.

The doors to the church flew open and everyone stood to greet the bride. She walked slowly down the aisle, her father at her side, beaming from ear to ear. The camera panned to the altar, where both Jim and Michael stood with astounded expressions on their faces. Jim sighed sharply as if he was just remembering to breathe, and then came down the small set of steps to meet his bride. He shook her father’s hand and Pam gave her dad a big hug. The couple exchanged a glance and went back up the steps to the altar to await the pastor’s opening remarks.

The pastor began, “James and Pamela, today you are surrounded by your friends and family, all of them gathered to witness your marriage and to share in the joy of this occasion, a day which will be one of the most memorable days of your life. Love is one of the highest experiences that we human beings can have, and it can add deep meaning to our lives. The sensual part of love is truly one of life’s greatest joys—” Pam took her eyes off of her groom for a split second to make sure Michael wasn’t holding back any traces of ‘that’s what she said,’ and was relieved when she found that he wasn’t.

The pastor continued, “When combined with friendship, both parts of love are infinitely enhanced. These sentiments are echoed in a book by Anne Morrow Lindbergh. She writes, ‘For marriage, which is often spoken of as a bond, becomes actually many bonds, many strands, of different textures and strengths, making up a web that is taut and firm. The web is fashioned by many kinds of love: romantic love at first, then a slow-growing devotion and, playing through these, a constantly rippling companionship…’”

xxx

The wedding scene faded out as the voice of the pastor continued with his opening remarks. Scenes of the couple’s early years faded in and out while he spoke: “It is made of loyalties, inter-dependencies, and shared experiences.” Moments of laughing at the reception desk glinted on and off.

“It is woven of memories of meeting and conflicts, of triumphs and disappointments.” The flashback showed times of conflict when the intent of the day was conflict resolution.

“It is a web of communication, a common language, and the acceptance of lack of language, too.” A scene with a silent yet carefully planned exchange of a cell phone unfolded.

“A knowledge of likes and dislikes, of habits and reactions, both physical and mental. It is a web of instincts, and intuitions, and known and unknown exchanges.” Instances of the couple communicating with only their facial expressions flashed one after another. “’The web of marriage is made of nearness, in the day-to-day living side by side, looking… in the same direction.’”

xxx

“Therefore,” the pastor concluded as the cameras returned to the scene of the ceremony, “if that web of connections is a marriage, then a wedding is the acknowledgement of this web, and James and Pamela are honored that all of you are choosing to acknowledge the bond that they share.”

The Scripture was read from and prayers were said, and then the pastor came to the questioning. He began with a preface: “During the wedding ceremony, it is apparent that one individual marries another individual. There is, of course, a way in which that is so. However, the truth is that we marry into one another’s families and into each other’s extended families.” The camera focused in on couple, smiling first at each other and then out at all their friends and family, and the camera followed their gaze. “We need people with us not only on days like this when a once-in-a-lifetime celebration is taking place, but also when tragedy and difficulty arise. We need friends who will not abandon us under any circumstances or in any way.”

The parents of the bride and groom stood as the pastor addressed them: “To the respective families of James and Pamela: this couple wishes to acknowledge the significance of your life-giving relationship to them. Will you grant them your blessing, and pledge them your love and acceptance?” The parents each gave the affirmative answer and sat back down, and then the pastor addressed the congregation: “To those friends of Pamela and James, will all of you witnessing these promises do all in your power to uphold these two persons in their marriage?”

“Hell yes!” Michael shouted enthusiastically, taking everyone by surprise. Jim’s eyes widened in embarrassment and Pam held back her laughter as the pastor tried to recover from the vulgar outburst. Michael darted his eyes around, trying to act nonchalant and ignore what he had just impulsively done.

The pastor cleared his throat, “Uh, we are here then, to celebrate the love James and Pamela have for each other, and to give recognition to their decision to accept one another totally and permanently. Into this state of marriage these two persons come now to be united, with sentiments and promises that they have written and will read aloud to each other.” He motioned to the bride to read hers first, and so she handed her bouquet and “bronze medal” yogurt lid to her maid of honor and carefully unfolded a sheet of paper.

Pam took a deep breath and began to read, “Jim, in my life, I’ve only had one vision of what I thought happiness could be. I was pretty close-minded in that way, and so when I met you, you essentially turned my world upside down. I didn’t know this whole other kind of happiness even existed,” she paused to smile up at him, “and I found myself doubting what I always thought had made me happy and wanting more of the happiness you gave to me. Now that—“ She stopped to wipe her eyes and swallow the lump forming in her throat, “Now that we’re getting married, I know I only want one kind of happiness again: I want your happiness. And so, I promise to always try to make you happy, even when the odds are against me, because…” Her voice cracked, “You mean more to me than anything else in the world. This is my vow to you.”

By this point, she couldn’t fight the tears back any longer, and so she laughed to herself, somewhat embarrassed, as she tried to wipe them from her cheeks. The camera then turned to Jim, who was pulling something out of his pocket. It was a handkerchief, and he handed it to her with a soft smile. She wiped her eyes carefully, and then the pastor motioned that it was Jim’s turn. He grabbed her free hand and spoke, “I didn’t, write anything. Typical guy, I know, but I hope this improvisation turns out alright.” He took a deep breath, trying to maintain his composure, “From the first day I met you, I knew that we clicked. There was something in your laugh and, and the way you smiled at me, or how we could joke around… There was a spark there… And I knew as soon as I noticed it, that I could never let it die. Through all the stuff we went through, I didn’t ever want to give up on us, no matter how hopeless I felt. And I want you to know that, even today, I don’t ever want to see that spark that we have die out. So, I am here. Always. Whether you like it or not—“ they both laughed. “And this… is my promise to you.”

He smiled at her, slightly shaking from expressing those words so openly in front of everyone, and so her grip on his hand tightened as the pastor spoke, “James and Pamela will now exchange rings as an emblem of their vows. The ring is an ancient symbol of love, as the circle never comes to an end and, just like love, is considered to be the most perfect form of all forms in nature. Over the years, your rings will gain in value, for they are the constant symbol at your lifetime together.” Michael handed Jim the rings right on cue as the pastor turned to Jim, “James, as you place this ring, a symbol of your commitment of marriage, on Pamela’s finger, please repeat after me, ‘with this ring I wed you and pledge my faithful love.’”

xxx

The camera panned around as the couple exchanged their rings. They focused in on Kelly, silently sobbing into Darryl’s shoulder, and then panned to Ryan, rolling his eyes at her from a few rows back. They focused in on Andy, also crying like a baby, and Angela next to him, her face remaining stern, but smiling. Dwight sat behind them, not caring about the couple at the altar, but the one sitting directly in front of him. The camera caught Bob Vance kissing Phyllis affectionately on the cheek, and then panned to Kevin and Stacy, smiling at each other, and Toby, who looked somewhat bored, but content. Oscar wiped away a single tear from his face as Gil took his hand, and Meredith, sitting a few rows in front of them, tried her best not to blow her nose too loudly. Terri rested her head on Stanley’s shoulder, and Creed sat in the back playing a Gameboy. Finally, the camera focused on Jan, who was staring into the eyes of her own man, the best man. Her smile was radiant, and the camera panned over to see he was mirroring her smile back to her.

xxx

The camera panned back to the couple as the pastor said the final prayers. The congregation then recited the Lord’s Prayer, and the pastor followed with the traditional blessing. He then told the couple, “When this ceremony began, you, James, were a groom, and you, Pamela, were a bride. Now, James, you are a husband and you, Pamela, are a wife. And so, as a physical symbol of the commitments you have made to each other and the transformation you have undergone here today, you may embrace each other in a kiss.” The couple enveloped themselves in each other, feeling the rapid pulse of their hearts as their lips came together softly. After a moment, they let go and exchanged a dazed, yet blissful glance. The pastor announced, “Ladies and gentlemen, it is my privilege to introduce to you, Mr. and Mrs. James Halpert,” and the couple turned to face a cheering congregation.

Guests crowded the back entrance to the church, forming a large line to congratulate the happy couple and then enter the reception hall. Jim and Pam were very gracious, and made sure to thank every guest they saw for being there. The cameras found them standing right outside the back doors, with Michael and the rest of their bridal party standing close by. As the cameras approached, the couple was being wished well by Andy and Angela.

“Mr. and Mrs. Big Tuna,” Andy grinned slyly. He wrapped his arms around both of them and engaged them in a three-person hug. They began to look slightly uncomfortable when the hug went on for longer than socially acceptable.

“Glad you could make it Andy,” Jim told him after he released them from his grasp. “And you too, Angela,” he added, acknowledging the small blonde woman lingering to Andy’s side who was closely watching Dwight stride into the reception hall.

“Thank you,” she turned back and responded politely before commenting, “Pam, I think you made a good decision picking ivory for your dress color. You could never pass in a pure white gown.”

Pam gave Angela an irritated glare before brushing off her remark and moving on, “Hi Phyllis, Bob. Glad you guys could come.”

“It was really beautiful,” Phyllis told her. “It reminded us of our wedding. Except, how did you get Michael to behave so well?”

Jim shrugged, “Never underestimate the power of the American legal system.”

xxx

The cameras went inside the reception hall to find Kevin and Stacy already sitting at a table with drinks in their hands. “This, is, awesome,” Kevin told the cameras as he ate some jellybeans off the table. The camera panned around the reception hall and found there were jellybeans everywhere. Instead of flowers, the centerpieces were vases of all different shapes and sizes, each filled with different color combinations of jellybeans. In addition, there were jellybeans sprinkled out on each table like confetti for guests to munch on. The cameras then panned over to Creed, who was at a table with small bags of jellybeans for guests to take home; he was stuffing three or four bags into his pockets. Then finally the camera rested on the table with the cake, which was decorated with bright, jellybean-inspired colors of frosting in a piped, swirling design. Next to it sat the large jar of jellybeans that guests were supposed to guess how many were in the jar. There were already several guests at the table, including Oscar and Gil, examining the jar and writing down their guesses on slips of paper.

xxx

Darryl and Kelly were some of the last to make it out of the church, Kelly still slightly crying and wiping her nose. She took one look at the newlyweds and began bawling, throwing her arms around Darryl. He held her up with one hand and shook Jim and Pam’s hands with the other. “Congrats, you guys. It was a real nice ceremony.”

“Thanks Darryl,” Jim said, silently motioning to Kelly.

“Aw, she’ll be alright. Watch: hey girl, you gonna mess up your makeup.”

Kelly immediately stood up and wiped away her tears frantically, “Oh no, is it all smeared?! I need a mirror—“ she then ran for the nearest bathroom, leaving Darryl to enter the reception hall by himself, unfazed by his girlfriend’s behaviors. The last in the line was Jan, who gave her best to the couple and then gave Michael a long embrace.

“What was that for?” he asked her, somewhat perplexed by her expressive affection.

She smiled at him, “Well you just did such a good job, and I was very impressed… And, I couldn’t help but think of you during the pastor’s lovely speeches.”

“Oh really?” he asked in a playful voice.

She blushed, “Yes…” and then she remembered the cameras and her expression turned austere, “But don’t get any ideas.” The bridal party was then approached by the photographer, who told them it was time for pictures, so Jan told Michael she’d see him inside the reception hall. They all filed back into the church and posed on the steps to the altar in several variations of groups. Michael looked very proud as he posed alongside Jim, and did obey when the photographer told him to get out of the picture.

xxx

“I am very pleased with myself,” Michael told the camera as he sat backwards in a pew, photos being taken at the altar in the background of the shot. “Even though they were reluctant, Jim and Pam let me be the best man, and now, I’m immortalized in their lives forever. I’ll be in the photos, and they’ll remember that I supplied them with their rings… and wait until they hear my speech! It is going to blow them away.” Michael failed miserably at hiding the coy smile on his face, and was then called back up to that altar for more pictures.

xxx

“Hello?” Jim answered his phone as he and Pam waited outside the reception hall to make their entrance. “Hey man, how’s my little niece doing?... Oh good!... Well I’m glad to hear it… Yeah the ceremony went really well.” He smiled at his bride and continued his conversation, “It sucks you couldn’t be here. You think you can make it to the reception at least?... Ah, well that’s understandable. Okay, well give her a hug for us. Okay, later.”

Pam looked at him with hopeful eyes, “How’s she doing?”

“Better. Her fever’s going down, but since she’s so small they’re keeping her overnight.”

“Probably for the best.”

“Yep.” He smiled lopsidedly at her, “Ready to make our grand entrance?”

She smirked back at him, “Absolutely I am.”

xxx

The bridal party took their seats at the head table in the reception hall and the lights dimmed for the couple’s grand entrance. The DJ flipped a switch and The Verve Pipe’s “Never Let You Down” blasted through the sound system. After the final lines of the opening chorus concluded with, “I'm getting to love the thought of having you around, and I will never let you down…” the DJ introduced the bride and groom and the newly-wedded couple made their entrance, somewhat embarrassed by all the attention.

xxx

“We were very careful picking out the songs for the reception,” Pam explained to the camera. “For our entrance music, we picked it because shortly after we started dating, we were driving in Jim’s car and this song came on the radio. We both hadn’t heard it in forever and we were both singing along and laughing… it’s a nice reminder of those early months in our relationship.”

xxx

The music faded out after the applause ended, and the DJ handed Jim a microphone. They took their seats at the head table facing their guests and he addressed them, “Okay, thank you all for being able to make it. I know it was a long way from the church—“ The guests chuckled and he continued, “We have a great meal waiting for us, full of our personal favorites, so let’s dig in, and we will catch up with you in a little bit.” Soon, waiters were bustling about serving the food to guests: the main dish consisted of smoked ham and gruyere cheese paninis served between two slices of ciabatta bread, and on the side one could find thin slices of potato seasoned with onion. The waiters also served small yogurt parfaits with an assortment of berries inside. Angela was served a panini without the smoked ham.

xxx

“Even at their wedding, they have ham and cheese sandwiches for dinner—“ Ryan jeered. “Those two really are creatures of habit… It’s a good thing they found each other.”

xxx

Throughout the meal, guests tapped on glasses to signal the couple to kiss, and after the first few times, Michael decided to take advantage of this tradition. He began banging on his glass at every opportunity he got, including while they were clearly in the middle of chewing.

“Come on, you know the drill! Let’s see it! Let’s see a kiss!” he teased as Jim swallowed the food in his mouth. He glared at Michael and then grabbed the knife from his hands.

“Glass tapping rights revoked,” he ordered sternly. Michael looked to Pam for understanding, but she simply shook her head in disappointment.

Michael sighed, “Alright. I went overboard a little with that. But I think you guys are going to enjoy my speech.” He snatched the microphone off the table and stood, “Hi everyone, I’m Michael Scott, the best man, and the happy couple’s boss, and I would like to take this opportunity to make a small toast…” The camera panned around to the guests, all of the Dunder Mifflin employees bracing themselves for a typical Michael Scott speech.

xxx

“With Michael as their best man, I’m surprised they’re not drinking more,” Meredith commented to the camera. “That’s how I was planning to get through the wedding… Stupid ushers.”

xxx

Stanley gave the camera an annoyed look, “If I knew I was going to be listening to some long-winded speech given by my boss, I would’ve brought my crossword puzzle.”

xxx

“I was planning on making a speech anyway,” Michael told the camera. “But after being promoted to best man—and having all those rules thrown at me—I had to tweak it a little. It works though, and I think it has a lot of humor and a lot of heart. Perfect combination, just like…” He thought for a moment, “Okay, what’s two things that go really well together?”

xxx

“So, when I first met little Pammy, I thought it would take me less than a week to sleep with her—“ Michael waited for laughter that never came as Pam buried her face in her napkin. “But I soon learned that she was meant for another—Roy. At least, at the time, that’s who she was supposed to…” He glanced down at the newlyweds, who were shooting daggers with their eyes at him, and so he decided to skip that part.

He flipped through his notecards, consciously trying to avoid anything that might be inappropriate, “Um, and then Jim told me he was in love with her, and so it became my mission to get these two crazy kids together. And believe me, it wasn’t easy! I had fiancées and transfers and new girlfriends to deal with, but in the end, I motivated them to go after what they wanted. And they did! And now they are happy, and I couldn’t be happier for them… And I’m very grateful that they had enough faith in me to make me their best man, because who would be better at managing the groom than a regional manager?” He looked back down at Jim and Pam, who were now smiling curiously up at him. “So here’s to the happy couple! May your love for each other be as everlasting as your love for your boss, which is me. Cheers!” Everyone clinked glasses and drank up.

xxx

Jim smiled at the camera thoughtfully, “Michael’s speech was very… Michael. You can tell he meant well… And I think we made a good choice for a replacement best man.”

After the dinner plates were cleared, the couple made their way over to the cake table. As they were approaching it, the camera caught Dwight running toward them; he stopped just in time not to crash into them and whispered something into Jim’s ear.

xxx

“Yes, I was in charge of going through all the guesses to see who would win the jellybean jar,” Dwight told the camera. “Jim said I was still on guard duty for the reception, and so, as per our contract, I obliged his wishes… I don’t know who would want that big jar though; there’s no black ones in it.”

xxx

“Okay, so we have the winner of the jellybean jar guessing game…” Jim called out to get everyone’s attention as Dwight handed him the winning slip. “There are a total of 12,463 jellybeans in the jar, and the person who guessed closest…” He unfolded the slip of paper, “Is Toby Flenderson, with a guess of 12,500! Alright! Nice guess, Toby!”

Toby ambled up to the table to take his prize, but first got a congratulatory handshake from Jim and a kiss on the cheek from Pam. He smiled slightly as he took his large jar of jellybeans off the table. “Enough. Enough now,” he said under his breath as the cameras watched him carry the jar outside to his car.

xxx

“I can already tell my daughter’s going to get sick off of these…” Toby shook his head and then looked up at the camera. “It’s worth it though.”

xxx

Dwight then stood guard as they cut the first slice of cake. Michael was fast approaching to get in on the action, but Dwight saw him coming and managed to stop him before he got too close. Jim divided the piece of cake in half and then gave a sly look to his bride.

“No…”

“No what?” he asked her innocently.

“You better not smash cake in my face…” He raised an eyebrow at her and so she warned him again, “Jim. I’m serious. You will not smash cake in my face.”

“Oh, why not?”

She picked up one of the halves, “Because I’m going to get you first!” And with that, the cameras zoomed in as Pam shoved cake onto her husband’s face. It wasn’t long before he retaliated with his own half of cake, and the two giggled as they wiped pieces of frosting off each other and licked their fingers. The cameras panned around to the applauding guests, who all looked very entertained.

xxx

“I can’t wait until I get cake shoved in my face…” Kelly said dreamily to the camera. She glanced at Darryl, and when the camera panned over to him, he was lifting a bite of cake to his mouth and was shaking his head ‘no.’

xxx

“Now, it’s time for the bride and groom’s first dance as a married couple,” the DJ announced. The newlyweds, now with their faces clean, made their way onto the dance floor, where they began to dance slowly to the melodic chords of Ben Folds’ “The Luckiest”:

I don't get many things right the first time,
In fact, I am told that a lot.
Now I know all the wrong turns, the stumbles and falls
Brought me here.
And where was I before the day
That I first saw your lovely face?
Now I see it everyday,
And I know
That I am, I am, I am
The luckiest.

xxx

“For this one…” Jim thought for a moment and then chuckled to himself. “To be honest, this has been my song for her ever since I met her. And so, I already had it picked out for our first dance before she even said anything about it…” He stared off into space and added, “Before she even knew about it, really…”

xxx

They danced slowly, their bodies only slightly swaying in time with the music, Pam’s head resting on Jim’s shoulder. The cameras zoomed in on their faces as her arms wrapped tighter around the back of his neck:

I love you more than I have ever found a way to say to you…

Suddenly, Jim whispered something into Pam’s ear, and the cameras quickly zoomed out just in time to see him spin her out and back into him, which took her and everyone else by surprise. She landed back in his arms full of giggles.

xxx

Pam blushed, “He told me… swaying isn’t dancing.”

xxx

They resumed their slow pace for the rest of the dance, and after the song ended, everyone was allowed onto the dance floor. The DJ was playing “Crazy Little Thing Called Love,” by Queen, and the cameras panned around as they caught Andy busting a move, Kelly and Darryl grinding on each other, Oscar and Gil dancing an appropriate amount away from each other for Michael not to comment on it, and finally they rested on Stanley, who was getting down with his wife. Everyone looked like they were having lots of fun.

xxx

The cameras zoomed in a great distance to see Dwight meandering over to a far table. “Hello Angela,” Dwight greeted her as he sat down next to her. “Did you enjoy your cake?”

“It was too moist for me,” she replied as she stared at him intensely. “But… I could go for some, cookie.”

Dwight glanced at the dance floor at Andy making a fool of himself, and then turned back to his blonde beauty, “I think there are some cookies in the groom’s quarters down the hall…”

“Maybe I will go there in two minutes,” she raised her eyebrow at him, a smile upon her lips, and with that, Dwight stood and immediately made his way out of the reception hall.

xxx

“Michael, would you like to dance?” Pam asked as she approached her boss, who was sitting at his seat finishing off his second piece of cake.

“Really?” he mumbled with his mouth full. Pam nodded her head, looking over at the dance floor and smiling; the camera panned quickly to find Jim dancing with Phyllis. She waved at them and Michael swallowed his food, “Okay.” He got out of his seat and they both walked over to the dance floor just as an acoustic cover of “Time After Time” started. “Is it okay if I touch you?” he asked apprehensively.

“First of all, that’s what she said.” They both chuckled, embarrassed at the joke. “And second, yes you may, but I will smack you if you place your hands anywhere I don’t approve of.”

“Fair enough.” Michael carefully placed his hands on the small of her back and then inquired, “So, is this everything you ever wanted in a wedding?”

“It’s perfect,” she told him. “I mean, even with your outburst in the church and your best man’s speech, it was still great, and Jim and I still ended up married, so...”

He smiled at her, “Well good.”

“Michael—“ Pam added, he face growing more serious, “I did just want to let you know… you were right, about what you said in your speech. You did help inspire me to go after what I wanted… so, thank you.” He stared at her with sincerity in his eyes and then drew her in for a friendly hug. A smile grew on her face as she patted his back.

xxx

“Okay single ladies!” the DJ announced. “Get out on that dance floor, cause it’s time for the bouquet toss!” Kelly, Meredith, Jan, and several other ladies clamored together in a huddle, ready to fight vigorously over the bouquet. Pam stood in front of them, her back turned, and the DJ led the countdown, “Three, two, one, go!” She tossed her bouquet behind her and accidentally a little to her left as the ladies scrambled to catch it. The cameras then zoomed in to see Angela, who was just returning to the reception hall with mussed up hair and a wrinkled dress, being hit right in the face by the bouquet. She looked at the camera, completely stunned, as the guests cheered for her and Andy came running to the scene.

“Look at that! Guess this will be us someday…” he nudged her side, causing her to recoil.

“You’d have to catch the garter,” she corrected him before walking away in a huff. The cameras zoomed in on Andy’s face as he realized his mission, and then panned to Dwight, who had just reentered the hall as well and had a similar expression on his face.

xxx

“I’m SO mad I didn’t catch the bouquet!” Kelly pouted to the camera. “Those things are stupid anyway. Darryl will probably ask me to marry him before Angela ever gets proposed to.”

xxx

“Why was I out there…?” Jan repeated the interviewer’s question. She thought for a moment, “Just participating in the fun… It wouldn’t have been so bad if I had caught it…”

xxx

Michael was standing in the middle of the dance floor, his face barely maintaining composure. He whispered to the camera, “I think you should follow Jim up… up—“ he then had to turn away and burst out laughing. The camera then panned to Jim, who was directly next to him setting up a chair.

“Did that count as an inappropriate comment…?” he wondered out loud as a signal to Michael to stop. Michael took the hint and regained a sense of calm, but then snickered again as soon as Jim walked out of earshot.

xxx

Pam’s face was beet-red as she bit her lip out of embarrassment. The cameras zoomed out to show her sitting in the chair on the dance floor, staring attentively at her husband as he slowly reached his hand up her dress to get the garter. “No detours,” she told him harshly as she tried her best not to giggle.

“I will be like Indiana Jones,” he assured her. “Just getting the gold and getting out.”

“Yeah right…” she snickered, hitting his hand through the satin of her dress. “What did I say!” she cried as Jim stifled a laugh and pulled the garter from her leg. The camera panned to all the single men, hollering and cheering, and then back to the couple. “I hate you,” she told him sarcastically as he leaned in for a kiss, to which she happily obliged.

“Let it fly!” Darryl shouted, and so Jim shot the garter into the crowd of single men like a slingshot. After much grappling, the garter ended up being pulled in two directions: in one way by Andy and in the other way by Dwight.

“Come on Dwight! You don’t even have a girlfriend!” Andy shouted at him as he struggled with all his might to hold on to the band of lace and elastic.

Dwight pulled on the garter and retorted, “I still won it! It’s mine, Bernard!” Then, to everyone’s surprise, Angela came marching over and tickled Andy in the ribs, causing him to let go of the garter and both men to go stumbling backwards.

Dwight held it up triumphantly as Andy regained his footing and shouted, “What did you do that for, woman? I was winning it for you!”

“I didn’t want you to win it for me.” She took a deep breath and confessed to him, “The truth is, I have been seeing Dwight secretly for the past few months now, and I have come to the decision that I don’t want to see you anymore, I want to see him.” The camera panned around the reception hall and showed all the Dunder Mifflin employees wearing stunned faces.

xxx

“I’ve always suspected it,” Creed nodded to the camera. “Wait, Andrea’s the one that gives out the money, right?”

xxx

Phyllis and Pam exchanged a judgmental glance, then Pam turned to the camera: “We’ll see if she wears white to her wedding…”

xxx

Andy stood there, slack-jawed at Angela’s confession, as she and Dwight walked out of the reception hall together, hand-in-hand. He then came out of his shocked trance and looked around at his coworkers with a humiliated expression that was only matched by the expression he wore when he had punched a hole in a wall. “Well,” he said as he tried to save his dignity, “That was weird… But don’t you worry about ol’ Andy Bernard! There are other fish in the sea… look at the two tunas!” He gestured to the newlyweds, who looked mortified for him.

xxx

“I’ll be fine,” Andy reassured the cameras. “A Bernard always bounces back. When I was at Cornell, I got dumped by my girlfriend of three years, and that night I was at a party getting it on with some other chick…” He nodded to himself and then remembered, “Of course, in that situation I was cheating on her…”

xxx

The cameras found Dwight and Angela in the parking lot, who were walking to their cars. The cameras hid and zoomed in on the couple as Dwight turned to her, “So Monkey, you caught the bouquet, I caught the garter… Do you think we really will be the next to marry?”

She looked up at him thoughtfully and they stared at each other for a moment. Then she smiled, “It’s hard to say, D, but I’m hopeful.”

“Alright,” the DJ announced, trying to return the reception to normal after Angela’s confession, “This is the last dance, so grab that special someone and get out on the dance floor!” Several couples got up and began to dance as “Fly Me To The Moon” by Frank Sinatra came over the speakers. The camera panned around as they saw some couples dancing slowly, while others tried to swing dance a bit by spinning their partners. But then the camera rested on Phyllis and Bob, who danced like they obviously knew what they were doing. Before long, a small circle formed around them and cheered them on.

xxx

“Bobby and I took swing dancing lessons together,” Phyllis smiled at the camera. “I don’t want to boast, but we’re very good.”

xxx

The song ended and the DJ gave the notice that it was time to see the happy couple off, so everyone began to crowd the doors to wave their goodbyes. The newlyweds pushed their way through the crowd, stopping to hug friends and family along the way, and then finally made it to a black limousine waiting outside. They got in carefully, and then heard the shouts of Michael’s voice just as Jim was about to close the door:

“Wait! Woah, woah, wait a second!” he caught up to the limo and leaned on it, huffing and puffing from having to run.

“What is it Michael?” Jim asked.

“I just wanted to be the last one to say goodbye,” he panted. “So, let me just get in here…” He then proceeded to lean into the car to give out hugs, much to Jim and Pam’s objection:

“Stop! You’re going to fall in!”

“Michael! What did the contract say about following us into the car!?”

Michael squeezed each of them tightly and sighed, “Don’t worry about it. The wedding’s over anyway, so don’t get your panties in a twist. Oh! That reminds me—“ The camera zoomed in on him as he fished into one of his pockets and pulled out a handful of small, flat packages. “I know you guys are married now, so a little baby wouldn’t be such a bad thing, but ya know? Sometimes, you gots to get it on without any worries…” He dumped them into Jim’s hands and pointed to a black package in the handful, “That one is Jan’s favorite.”

“Michael!” they heard Jan shout from behind him as the camera zoomed back out to see her standing there. “You’ve tortured them enough for one day, now leave them be.”

“Fine,” he mumbled and stepped back from the vehicle, joining Jan and the rest of the guests. They all waved goodbye and the limo sped off, leaving the guests to slowly disperse. As Jan and Michael walked to their car, she unexpectedly stopped in her tracks and pulled him in for a long, passionate kiss. The cameras zoomed in a great distance on them, and as they pulled away Michael questioned, “What was that for?”

“No reason,” she replied as she started to walk away and then turned back. “Didn’t you enjoy it?”

Michael stammered, “Well, of course I did—“

She raised an eyebrow at him, “Then let’s go home and I can give you a lot more of that. We can have a little honeymoon of our own…”

“Last one there is a rotten egg!” Michael shouted as he took off for the car, a gigantic smile on his face.

xxx

Inside the limo, Jim had popped a bottle of champagne, and both were holding their glasses carefully as the limo drove down the highway. He toasted, “Hawaii, here we come!” and they clinked glasses.

“So where are we staying?” Pam inquired with a tone that implied that she hadn’t been involved in any planning.

“It’s called the Lae Nani resort, and it’s on one of the smaller islands, Kauai,” he told her as they sipped slowly. “It’s right on the beach, so you can spend the whole time building sandcastles if you want.”

“You know I’m a sandcastle-building master, don’t you?”

“Oh really?”

She smiled coyly at him, “Yep! So watch what you promise, Halpert, cause I just might spend our entire honeymoon on the beach…”

“Don’t worry, Halpert,” he retorted back to her, causing a fit of giggles. “If you’re on the beach building sandcastles, then I’ll be right there with you protecting the castle from waves.”

“My hero,” she laughed as she put her arms around him.

“Oh!” he exclaimed as he reached into his pocket. “I forgot something—“

“What is it? Someone you forgot to say goodbye to?”

“Kind of…” He got out his cell phone and began to dial.

xxx

The cameras focused on a window of a nine-bedroom farmhouse where a light had just been turned on. They could hear a male voice answer hesitantly, “Jim?”

xxx

“Hey, Dwight,” Jim said into the phone as he gave a look to the camera. “I just wanted to let you know that the week I’m picking to be your personal servant is this week, but I’ll be out of town on my honeymoon for the whole week, so I guess that contract is void…”

xxx

“That’s not how the contract works!” the camera could hear Dwight talking boisterously from his room as a female voice complained to him about being on the phone while he had company. He whispered loudly, “Monkey, not now. This is important—Jim, you can’t pick the week you’re my servant. I do that—“

xxx

Jim tilted his head to the side with skepticism as he looked down at a piece of paper now in his hands, “I’d look over that contract again, buddy, cause I’m looking at my copy, and it says, ‘the party of the first part will pick the week to be the servant to the party of the second part, and if he is unavailable at this time, then the contract is considered voi—‘“

“Yes but I’m the party of the first part!” the camera picked up Dwight’s voice from Jim’s phone as he shook his head.

“Are you sure about that?”

xxx

The cameras could now see a silhouette of Dwight in the window as he looked over his contract. He found the passage Jim was referring to and then, full of rage, he crumpled the paper up and threw it on the ground. “Dammit, Jim! You have done some pretty underhanded things in your time, but this has to be the most—“

xxx

“Whoops,” Jim murmured as he ‘accidentally’ closed the cell phone. “Oh well.” He put his phone away and picked up his champagne glass, clinking it with his wife and snuggling into her embrace as the limo approached the airport.