DISCLAIMER: I don't own The Office, or any of the characters. For entertainment only.

Do you ever get lonely, baby?
Don't you ever get tired of living that way?
Don't you ever wonder whether there's a better life out there?

-“Lonely”, Shannon Noll

“So Pam, a bunch of us are going to carpool tomorrow. Do you want to come, or are you and Roy just going to find your own way?” Pam briefly looked up from the game of solitaire she had open on her computer to see Phyllis standing at her desk.

“Why are you leaving tomorrow? The wedding's not until Saturday.”

“Bob Vance thought it might be fun to go early since we haven't seen Jim in so long. Then I asked Stanley if he wanted to come too, and Kelly overheard. You know how she is.” Pam nodded, thinking about this. Ever since they had all received invitations to Jim's wedding last month it had been a constant topic of discussion in the office. He'd left three years ago for Stamford and apparently met some girl there. Her name was Carrie or Karen or something like that. Pam had found it a little awkward that he had invited all of the people from Scranton, seeing has the only people he kept in contact with were Kevin, for fantasy football, and Michael, who he had seen at a few business conferences which Pam had heard all about. She honestly wasn't looking forward to going, but it's not as if she were jealous. Her third anniversary with Roy had just passed, and while things could be better between them, it certainly wasn't horrible. And she almost never thought about Jim anymore.

“Pam? What do you think?” Pam snapped out of her little trance quickly.

“Um, I don't know.” She lowered her voice considerably and leaned closer to Phyllis. “Is Michael going?”

Phyllis laughed a little at this. “He doesn't know about the carpool. Don't worry, Dwight doesn't either so hopefully they'll just get the hint when we all take tomorrow off, and go on their own.”

“OK,” Pam responded. “I'll ask Roy at lunch and then get back to you.”

“That sounds good.” Pam turned back to her computer screen, but Phyllis didn't leave. “I hope things aren't weird with you and Jim, you know because you guys had that thing before he left.” Phyllis raised her eyebrows and Pam felt her face turn red.

“Uh, no. I'm sure it will be...fine.” As if on cue, Roy walked in just then and Pam leapt out of her seat to meet her husband. “Roy, I need to talk to you,” She told him, and pulled him close for a quick kiss before dragging him into the hallway.

“Geez, if you wanted a quickie all you had to do was say so. We can run home if you want,” Roy smirked, but Pam just rolled her eyes.

“No, I just wanted to know when you wanted to leave for Jim's wedding. I guess some people are carpooling tomorrow.”

“Oh God,” Roy said, throwing his head back. “Do we really have to go to that? I mean come on Pammy, you haven't seen Halpert in what, two years?”

“Three years,” Pam corrected quietly.

“He probably won't even notice if no one from Scranton shows up. The guy was a douche.”

“He was my friend.” Pam shot back, getting defensive. “You don't have to go, I'll just ride with Phyllis and Bob.” By saying this, she was hoping that he would feel guilty and apologize before agreeing to go.

“Thank God. And I guess if no one's coming in tomorrow, I'll take a day off too. You can lie for me, right Pammy? Tell them I'm sick?” Pam rolled her eyes again, but nodded.

“I'll just tell everyone you caught one of those 24 hour viruses or something.” She replied, almost sarcastically.

“Great, that's perfect Pam.” He gave her a kiss on the cheek, but Pam turned away this time. “What's wrong? Are you mad at me over this?”

“I'm not mad.” Pam told him.

“Good. Then I'll see you at home, OK?” Pam nodded again as he squeezed her arm and walked away. She didn't blame him, really. Jim and Roy had never gotten along, and Roy didn't even know about the one kiss Jim and Pam had shared, right before he transferred to Stamford. She closed her eyes for a second and suddenly he was there with her, putting his hands on her waist, pulling her close, his lips on hers and she'd just given in, wanting it just as much as he had. When she opened her eyes again, it was all gone and she was just standing in the hallway alone. That was how it was supposed to be. She shouldn't be thinking about kisses she'd had with other men when she was happily married. At least, that's what she told herself as she walked back to her desk.

- - - - - - - - - -

“So I really can't see the dress?”

“No!” Karen said for what was probably the hundredth time. “It's bad luck Halpert, how many times do I have to tell you that?” She was smiling though, as she scolded the man who in two days she would be marrying.

“See, I always thought the bad luck was seeing the bride in the dress. Not just seeing the dress.”

“Why do you want to see it so bad anyway?”

“Because what if it's hideous? What if it's so ugly that everyone is making fun of you all day? I'm just trying to save you some embarrassment, that's all.” Karen's mouth dropped open and she playfully slapped her fiancée.

“So have you talked to any of your old friends from Scranton? They're all coming right?” Karen asked, changing the subject. Jim got quiet here, then cleared his throat.

“Yeah. Yeah, they all RSVP'd, so I think so.”

“Good. I can't wait to meet these people from the famous Scranton branch. Anyone who I should be prepared for? I mean, besides Dwight and Michael, obviously.”

“That's it,” Jim replied, as Dwight's face popped into his mind. He really couldn't imagine how much he had changed- or not changed- in three years. Then the faces of his former coworkers kept scrolling through his head, one by one. Oscar, Stanley, Angela, and even Ryan, who had since been promoted to the big time job in New York.

“What about the girls? Do I need to be jealous?” Karen asked this as a joke, but she really didn't know the half of it. Jim tried not to think about Pam anymore, but there were still points when he wished that he could talk to her, just because no one got his humor quite like she did. There was actually a guy at Stamford who she would have loved to prank with him. This guy named Andy who had a strange love for singing in a sometimes high falsetto voice, the exact kind that she couldn't stand.

“No, I don't think so,” Jim laughed off her comment and then kissed her, wrapping his arms around her trying to shake the image of Pam from his mind. He hesitated sending her an invitation because of the way things had ended between them, but he couldn't send one to everyone from Scranton except her and Roy could he?

“Relax Halpert,” Karen pulled away, laughing. “Save it for the honeymoon.”

I look at the phone and pick it up,
For the millionth time I put it down again,
I know I let you go,
And I've got no right to know.

Pam sat at her kitchen table and stared at Jim's wedding invitation. Roy was out with some of the guys from the warehouse, just “grabbing a beer”, which Pam knew could easily turn into three or four. She picked up the thick piece of paper and studied it closer. When she had received it last month, she'd set it aside right away, not really looking at it, then RSVP'd over e-mail, so she wouldn't actually have to talk to him, but his phone number was listed too. Pam bit her bottom lip and glanced at the cordless phone sitting on the counter a few feet away.

She grabbed it on impulse, but didn't dial. What would she even say? It would be awkward enough meeting him in person tomorrow, she didn't need to make it worse by calling ahead of time and saying something stupid. The truth was, with all the talk about Jim lately, her head had been a little bit of a mess. She didn't still love him- actually, she wasn't sure that she ever loved him- but things hadn't been great with Roy, and she couldn't help thinking about the office casino night over three years ago. Jim had flat out given her a choice then, and she'd picked Roy. Pam wondered, just for a second, how her life would be different if she'd just told Jim that she loved him too that night. Would this be their wedding everyone was getting excited for? That was crazy. Sticking with Roy was the right move, they were supposed to get married, and they'd been together for so long it would just be weird being with anyone else. She was about to put the phone down and go to bed, when for some reason she found her fingers dialing the number on the sheet in front of her.

I'll just call and say hi, she thought, break the ice a little bit for tomorrow. The phone rang once, twice, three times, and no one answered. Pam was about to hang up, it was better this way after all, when the machine picked up.

“It's Jim Halpert, I can't answer the phone right now but leave a message and I'll call you back.” The familiar voice filled her ears, and Pam was suddenly positive she was going to cry, but she wasn't sure why. The beep followed the message, reminding Pam that she was supposed to talk now.

“Um, Hey Jim, it's Pam. I know it's been a while since we've talked so I just wanted to say 'Hi' and make sure things weren't still weird with us or whatever. Just because Phyllis thought they might be. OK. So you don't have to call me back, I guess... well I'll see you tomorrow OK? Bye.” Pam hung up the phone, all too aware of how stupid she'd sounded on the phone. The first thing Jim hears from her in three years would be a voice mail in which she sounded shaky and unsure of herself, almost like she was talking to an ex-boyfriend or something.

- - - - - - - - - -

Jim came home late that night. He and Karen were scheduled to have their bachelor/bachelorette parties, and he could only imagine what Karen was doing for hers. He hadn't felt much like partying, so he'd gone to the house of one of his friends from the office, who made quite the effort even bringing in strippers, making Jim all too uncomfortable. He grabbed a can of grape soda out of the refrigerator, then pulled out his cell phone to check his messages. One from his mother, asking again what time the rehearsal dinner was tomorrow night. Another from Kevin, letting him know that people from Scranton were also coming in tomorrow. The last was from a number Jim didn't recognize. The voice he did know.

“Um hey Jim, it's Pam...” Jim's heart stopped for a second. He listened to the rest of the message, but he didn't really understand the words that she was saying. All he wanted was to listen to her voice. God, he hadn't realized how much he missed her voice. He played the message again. Then again. “I'll see you tomorrow OK? Bye.” Her last words finally hit him. She was coming. Tomorrow. How the hell was he supposed to get married when she was sitting right, staring at him. Maybe it would be different, maybe he wouldn't feel anything for her anymore. She was married, Roy was coming to the wedding too, so it wasn't like she was going to hit on him or anything. Their little thing was over now, if something had ever existed between them. It was just one night where Jim had had a few drinks and told her that he loved her. That was all, it didn't mean anything. Right? There was one little kiss too, but clearly she didn't think about that stuff anymore. Neither did he, really. He had Karen now.

The phone rang just then, making Jim jump. He glanced at the screen, half hoping it would be Pam calling again, for whatever reason. Of course it wasn't. Karen's number flashed on the screen, and Jim flipped open his phone.

“Halpert, it's me. Can you come get me?”

“Yeah,” Jim said, looking at the clock. It was almost midnight. “What's going on?”

“The party kinda broke up and Bella's off with some guy and she was my ride home. I'm at that new bar, Dixon's?”

“OK, I'll be there in ten minutes.” Jim closed his phone, and he was glad that Karen's night out wasn't as wild as he thought. Strangely, there was a small part of him that wished that her night had been a little too wild, so he would have an excuse not to marry her. A very small part of him.

“Thanks,” Karen said as she slid into the car next to him and planted a kiss on his cheek. “I swear, all my bridesmaids are total sluts. Why am I friends with such slutty girls?”

“I don't know,” Jim replied awkwardly. The guilt of his recent thoughts was creeping into his mind.

“So how was your night?”

“I have to tell you something.” Karen looked over at him, clearly worried.

“What did you do?”

“Nothing. It's just...” Jim wasn't even sure why he was about to tell her about Pam. It was stupid because nothing was going on with them anymore, and he didn't still have feelings for her or anything. “There was this girl, in Scranton. She's kinda the reason I left, actually.”

“OK...” Karen said uneasily, urging him to go on.

“Well anyway,” He paused to clear his throat. “I had a crush on her, and I told her I loved her and she turned me down.” He kept his eyes on the road, while Karen's eyes were solely focused on him.

“Why are you telling me this?” There was a little anger in her voice. “Do you still love her?”

“No,” Jim answered too quickly. “She's coming to the wedding though, so I thought you should know. Her name's Pam.”

“Alright then, I will be on the lookout for Pam at the wedding.” This was probably supposed to be a joke, but Jim didn't laugh.

“She's married, so you don't have anything to worry about.” Karen frowned.

“Good, I'm glad you decided to stay away from married women.” She spat. “Come on Jim, what's wrong with you? I don't want to hear about all your exes two days before our wedding.”

“She's not even my ex,” Jim offered, but Karen had already thrown open the door and was storming toward her apartment building. Jim took a deep breath then drove back to his own building, Pam's message playing over and over in his mind the entire way.

Do you ever think about what we had?
And how you'd give anything to get it back?
Do you ever think you'll never love that way again?

Jim stared out of the window of his apartment. Most of the people from the office had already come and gone, Kevin, Oscar, Kelly, Toby, Stanley, Creed and Meredith. There was one group missing. Kelly had made sure to let him know that Phyllis, Bob, and Pam had left late and were stuck in bad traffic. Oh, and Roy wasn't coming. For some reason Jim had smiled when he heard this news. It didn't have anything to do with Pam, of course. He and Roy had never been friends, and knowing him he just would have gotten drunk and caused trouble. Jim closed his eyes for a moment, knowing that any minute now he would be seeing Pam again. It was harder to picture her face now, but he remembered exactly how she looked the last time he'd seen her, from her hair to that blue dress she was wearing. Karen was off doing some stuff with her bridesmaids, getting manicures or whatever it was that girls did before one of them got married. Jim was glad he got this little bit of time to see his old friends by himself, because ever since his little confession last night, Karen wasn't exactly thrilled with him and would probably get the wrong idea by seeing him talking to Pam. Or any girl from the office for that matter. When he finally opened his eyes again, he saw a car pulling into the lot. He recognized who was behind the wheel right away, Bob Vance of Vance Refrigeration. That could only mean one thing...

And suddenly, there she was. Her hair was different, he noticed that right off. It was still curly, but the curls where bigger now, looser, and just tucked behind her ears instead of always clipped back the way he had always known her. She stepped out of the car and said something to Phyllis, then laughed. God, how he had missed that laugh. A few minutes later they were all at his door. He hugged Phyllis and Bob, then there was only one person left. They locked eyes for a minute, both unsure of what to do next. Then Pam smiled and decided for them. She stepped forward, closing the distance between them and pulled him in for a hug.

“Hi Jim,” She said. That was all. One hug and two words was all it took for him to remember everything he used to love about her. Really love too, not just liked as he tried to pretend now that it was over. He held her close for just a minute longer, that was all he got seeing as he was going to be a married man by tomorrow.

“Hi Pam.” He pulled away first, and they just smiled at each other before Bob interrupted their little moment.

“So Jim, where's the Mrs.?”

“Oh, Karen, she's out with some friends. She's really excited to meet you all though.”

“So are you going to see her before tomorrow?” Phyllis asked, clearly getting excited for the wedding which Jim was suddenly dreading more and more.

“Yeah, well, there's the rehearsal dinner tonight.” He was speaking to Phyllis, but his eyes kept wandering back to Pam. “So what are you guys up to tonight?”

“I don't know, we'll probably just stay at the hotel. Maybe go out for dinner,” Phyllis replied.

“Actually, we should go check in to the hotel now,” Bob Vance told his wife, who nodded.

“OK, well it was good seeing you again. I'll talk to you at the wedding tomorrow?” Jim waved as Bob and Phyllis left, then he turned around to see Pam still standing there.

“Yeah, I should get going too,” She said, digging through her purse. “I'm staying at a different hotel, so I just need to call a cab or something.”

“Don't waste your money, I'll drive you.”

“Seriously?” Pam asked, finally looking up to meet his eyes.

“Sure. Do you need to go back right now or can we stop and grab a coffee first?”

“We can get a coffee.” As Pam followed Jim out of his apartment though, she began to feel slightly guilty. Could this be considered a date? Obviously it wasn't, just two old friends catching up. Roy would see it as a date, he would be furious if he knew Pam was going out for coffee, alone, with Jim. She wondered if Jim's fiancé, who's name she now knew was Karen, would mind if she knew that he was with her.

“So how've you been?” He asked once they got into his car.

“Pretty good. I'm thinking about taking another art class this summer.”

“Oh, cool. So where's Roy?” Jim's question caught Pam off guard a little bit. She knew where he really was, on the couch, probably already drunk, but she told everyone else that he was sick.

“He doesn't really do weddings,” She told him. She was never a good liar, period, but Jim was always especially good at seeing through her lies.

“Oh.” A slightly awkward silence followed as Jim pulled into the parking lot of a little coffee shop.

“So. Your fiancé. What's she like?” Pam asked, after they had settled into a table and placed their orders.

“Karen? She's... well you'll meet her tomorrow. She's... great.” How could he describe Karen? Anything that would come to mind didn't work. Pam was funnier, Pam was prettier, Pam was everything that he wanted. How had he forgotten that? How was he supposed to get married tomorrow when he was so clearly in love with someone else? Three years, he was realizing, didn't make him get over her, it just made him forget. “Pam-” he started, but was cut off by a loud burst of laughter by the door. Over Pam's shoulder he could see a group of women walking in. One of them kind of looked like Karen's sister.

“Jim?” They saw each other at the same time. Karen walked over to his table, looking confused. “What are you doing here? I thought-” She stopped as Pam turned around and smiled at her.

“Hi!” She said warmly, offering her hand. “I'm Pam. I used to work with Jim back in Scranton. He was about to drive me to my hotel, but I was starving so he offered to take me here first.” Jim watched the color drain from Karen's face.

“You're Pam?” Pam nodded, and Karen forced a smile before extending her own hand. “I'm Karen. Jim's fiancé. He's not the best with introductions.” She then looked over Pam to shoot Jim a look. “Well I've got to get back to my friends, but it was nice meeting you.” Without saying another word, she turned and walked back to her friends, leading them outside.

“What was that?” Pam asked Jim, “She seemed like she knew about me.”

“I told her I used to have feelings for you. She freaked out a little. No big deal, that's just how she is.”

“But that was a long time ago, right? I mean your crush. That was like three years ago.” Pam chuckled a little, like it was a joke, but neither of them really found it funny.

“It wasn't that long ago. Actually,” he paused here to clear his throat. “I think I still might...”

“Jim.” Pam cut him off. “Don't do this. Please.”

“Pam, come on. That night in the office. You said you wanted it too. Don't tell me you just forgot that.”

“I didn't forget,” She fired back defensively. “I'm married. You're going to be by tomorrow. I shouldn't have even come here.” Pam stood up and grabbed her bag.

“Pam, wait.” Jim stood up too, but she was already heading for the door and pulling out her cell phone.

“I'll call a cab, don't worry about me.” The door fell shut behind her, and Jim was left to watch her walk away.

Do you ever miss me?
Wishing you could kiss me?
If only you could hold me,
Do you ever get lonely like me?

Jim arrived to pick Karen up for the rehearsal dinner a half an hour early. He'd tried calling her, but obviously when she saw it was him she didn't pick up, so he'd had to settle for leaving a few apologetic messages. Armed with Herr's salt and vinegar potato chips, her favorite, he knocked on the door. When she answered, she wasn't fully dressed as Jim expected, she was in a pair of sweat pants and an old t-shirt. She wasn't wearing any makeup which was rare for her, and her eyes were red and puffy, like she'd been crying.

“Can I... come in?” Jim asked cautiously. Karen shrugged and stepped to the side, leaving him just enough room to get through. “So what's going on?”

“I don't know Jim. You tell me.” Jim just looked at her. “Don't play dumb. I don't get you. One day you're in love with me, the next day you're off on a date with some old girlfriend of yours and I-”

“Pam was never my girlfriend,” Jim interrupted. “We were just really good friends.”

“I don't care. I don't. But you told me you had a thing for her.” Karen crossed her arms over her chest and waited for his response.

“Karen, that thing with Pam, it's over, it's all in the past.”

“Is it though? Look Jim, I don't want to be played. If you would rather be with somebody else then just go. It's really not worth my time.” Jim hesitated. He could deny it all he wanted, but it was more obvious now then ever that his feelings for Pam were not gone, and they might never be. She was married though, and she'd made it pretty clear that she only wanted to be friends. “You take your time. Think about it however long you want,” Karen spat, her voice dripping with sarcasm. She walked over to the couch and threw herself down on it. Jim sighed and followed her, dropping the chips on the kitchen counter as he passed.

“It's you Karen. I swear.”

“Don't say that if you don't mean it. What if some other ghost from your past wanders up. What are you gonna do then? Will you still love me?”

“I want to marry you tomorrow. I love you, and I always will.” The words Jim were saying didn't make a lot of sense in his head. It was almost like he meant them for someone else. Karen didn't even crack a smile.

“I saw the way you looked at her,” Karen's voice broke on the last word, but she wasn't about to cry. Not in front of him. “Do you still have feelings for her?” At this point, with his fiancé about to break down in tears right in front of him, he couldn't lie anymore. Not to her, and not to himself.

“Yes.” Karen nodded, and slid her engagement ring off of her finger. She placed it in Jim's palm and took a deep breath.

“What the hell happened to us Halpert?”

I know that this world has changed us,
Now we're nothing more than strangers,
But do you think about me ever?
Do you think we belong together?

Pam knew she looked horrible. She didn't think to put on waterproof mascara that day, so it inevitably had run down her cheeks. Not to mention her hair, which must have been a disaster. Still, he looked at her like she was the most beautiful girl in the world. It was funny how she'd never seen that look in her own husbands eyes.

“Hey, Pam.” He smiled a little bit, and in that moment he knew that it was the right choice not to marry Karen. Even at her worst, Pam was still gorgeous to him.

“So what...what happened? With the wedding?”

“Oh, it didn't really work out.” Pam nodded, but didn't meet his eyes.

“I'm getting a divorce.” Those words sounded weird coming out of her mouth. She never thought she'd be saying them.

“What?” Pam looked up.

“There's... Roy has this other girl.” Saying it out loud made fresh tears well up in her eyes.

“I'm sorry.” They locked eyes for a minute.

“Look, Jim, what you said before... about you still having feelings for me?” Jim didn't wait any longer before stepping forward to close the space between them and kissed her.

- - - - - - - - - -

Pam rolled over the next morning, sunlight streaming in all around her. The room she was in was unfamiliar still, but it felt comfortable. Right. She could smell something coming from the kitchen. It smelled like waffles, maybe pancakes.

“You awake yet Beesly?” Jim poked his head in the room and Pam smiled. They hadn't slept together, but Pam was homeless at the moment and Jim said it made no sense for her to get a hotel. He had generously given her his bed while he slept on the couch. Pam had to admit, it did feel a little weird for her to be sleeping in his bed, but she didn't object. She liked being surrounded by his scent. As she was falling asleep, she couldn't help remembering that time before she and Roy had moved in together when she needed some place to stay but didn't want to sleep with him, and he'd made her sleep in his recliner. “I made breakfast.” Jim told her. “Or does Fancy New Beesly not eat waffles?”

“No, she does,” Pam stood up, feeling strangely exposed in her tank top and shorts. She made a mental note to go clothes shopping as soon as possible. That or somehow get back into her apartment when Roy wasn't there.

“Good because I made a lot.” He led her into the brightly lit kitchen, where the table was set for two, piled high with waffles, milk, juice, fruit, and syrup.

“Wow, you really went all out.”

Jim just shrugged. “I didn't remember what you liked.”

“This is all good,” She sat down and put a waffle on her plate. They ate in silence for a few minutes before she spoke again. “Hey. I forgot to thank you last night. For letting me stay here.”

“Don't mention it.” Jim replied. He looked like he wanted to say something else, but Pam interrupted.

“It's just... Jim, I'm getting a divorce and you just broke up with your fiancée. Don't you feel like this is a little fast?” The words hurt Pam as she said them, but it almost seemed wrong to move on so quickly. Even if it was Jim, someone who was quite possibly the love of her life. Surprisingly, there was no hurt in Jim's eyes as he responded.

“The way I see it, is I've been in love with you for roughly six years. Just because there was another woman in that time doesn't mean I fell out of love with you. If you need to take it slow, I get that. But just know that I'm going to wait for you.” Pam wanted to cry. She'd actually been doing that a lot lately.

“What's going to happen? I mean, because you live here and I still work in Scranton.” It was her subtle way of saying that she felt the same way about him, she was just worse with words.

“I could see about a transfer. Maybe. If you think it's a good idea. I mean, it would be a little awkward with me and Karen working together anyway right?”

“It's going to be just as awkward working with Roy.”

“Oh God. You're right. Why is it that we choose to be involved with people that we work with?”

“I have no idea.” Pam laughed, for the first time in what felt like years, though she knew it wasn't nearly that long.

“Well, whatever happens, it's gonna be okay.” Jim put a hand over hers. It felt like a gesture of protection, more than affection. “Because we're together now. Right?” He asked this a little uncertainly, like he was afraid she would say no. Three years ago, she might have, but not this time.

“Yes,” She said reassuringly. “We're together now.”