The smell of apples and cinnamon hit Jim’s nose as in came in from the cold with some extra logs for the fire. After fighting with it for the good part of an hour, he was finally able to get a small fire going but knew that he better have extra logs on hand just in case it had a mind of it’s own and tried to ruin the ambiance he was trying to create.

A loud clatter in the kitchen caught his attention and Pam yelled “Shit!” as he set the logs down next to the fireplace. He brushed off his hands and removed his coat on the way to the kitchen to make sure everything was okay.

“Everything okay in here Beesly,” he asked, teasing her.

“Remind me again why we thought this was a good idea,” she said, scowling at him. She had a wooden spoon in one hand with the contents dripping down the handle and a pan of burnt rolls in the other hand. She tossed the rolls on the counter with an angry thrust and set the spoon on the stove, looking for something to wipe off the gravy that had gotten on to her hand. Jim came up beside her, holding a handful of paper towels. He took her wrist gently in his hand and wiped it off.

“What can I do?” He asked her, still holding her hand in his.

Pam looked at him disgusted. “Call for pizza?”

Jim rolled his eyes and pulled her close to him, kissing the top of her head. “A few burnt rolls and you’re going to toss all of this out the window? That’s a little dramatic, even for you.”

Pam pushed him away and glared at him. “What is that supposed to mean?” She snapped.

“I was just kidding,” Jim sighed. “Look, I’m sure that everything is going to be great. I wish you’d quit freaking out and just relax.”

He suddenly knew that he’d hit a nerve. “Are you kidding me?” Pam yelled. “You’re entire family is going to be here in less than 30 minutes. Everything I do is going to be compared to your mom. Not only have I taken up residence in her former home, I have now taken over the chore of Christmas Eve dinner. I was up sick all night from that damn Chinese food that we ate and barely got any sleep. And I really don’t know what’s going to happen if everything isn’t perfect….Or at least how she would have done it. So yeah, you’re just going to have to forgive me for freaking out.”

“Well, I did try to get you to take a nap earlier,” Jim said. But the look on her face told him that she wasn’t in the mood to joke. He took a step back, not wanting to piss her off any further. “Tell me what I can do to help,” he said, a little more quietly than he had expected.

“Get out of the kitchen,” Pam said, tossing the burnt rolls into the trash can.

As if on cue, the doorbell rang. Jim left Pam in the kitchen and went to go answer the door.

“Hey little brother,” his brother, Pete said with a smile. A small child rushed out from behind his dad and Jim caught him before he rushed past him too.

“Just where to do you think you’re going buddy?” Jim asked, scooping him up into his arms.

“Hi Uncle Jim,” the little boy said, struggling to get out from the strong grip.

Jim opened the door wider so that Pete could get by with a bag full of presents. His wife Carolyn and Jim’s niece followed. “Do you think you can go help your dad find the Christmas tree, Tyler?” Jim asked as he set the little boy down so he could hug his sister-in-law.

“Yesssss!” Tyler shrieked and ran down the hallway, certain that he knew where the tree was.

“Can you take these pies from me?” Carolyn asked, as Jim noticed for the first time that she was balancing three pies.

“Oh, yeah, sorry,” Jim said, taking two of them. “I think I’ll just set them in the dining room though. I’m not allowed in the kitchen.”

Carolyn rolled her eyes. “What’d you do?” She asked, glaring at him.

Jim shook his head. “I pissed off my future wife is what I did. She’s a little freaked out by this whole evening. Maybe you can go in there and…I don’t know…”

“Clean up your mess?” Carolyn finished, chuckling. “Get out of the way.” She passed him in the hall and he followed close behind with the pies.

“Merry Christmas!” Carolyn said to Pam as she entered the kitchen. She set the pie she was carrying on the counter and then took the other two from Jim and shooed him out of the kitchen. Carolyn could tell that Pam was on the verge of tears. “Not going so well?”

Pam sighed and shook her head. “Not really. I’m a mess,” she said. “I think I got food poisoning last night because I was up sick all night and got about 2 hours of sleep. I got a late start on dinner after the third dose of Pepto Bismal finally kicked in but the smell of all this food still isn’t helping. I’m sorry….I know you didn’t want to hear that. I’m just freaking out a little.”

“Once,” she told her.

Pam looked at her confused. “What?” She asked.

“I’ve done Christmas Eve at my house one time. And that will be the last time,” she laughed. “Lizzie was 4 months old and I wasn’t back to work yet. I thought, ‘no problem’. But I was in tears by the end of the night.”

Pam smiled. “So, if I’ve already had the tears…..?”

“Oh, then we’re good to go,” Carolyn said. “You’re already signed up for next year.”

Jim came into the kitchen to get a couple of beers and Pam stopped him before he could open up the refrigerator. “Hey,” she said. She wanted to apologize and make sure things were okay between them. She was still a new addition to his family and if she was going to survive a whole evening with them, especially his brothers, Tom and Pete, then she was going to have to make sure he was on her side.

“Pam, I….” Jim started, but they were interrupted by another handful of people coming in the front door and a screaming baby.

“Well, Merry Christmas to you too,” Jim said, taking the baby out of his sister’s arms. He gave her a half hug and then bounced the baby down the hall, while everyone took note that the crying had stopped.

“Lucky you!” Jim’s sister, Julie, said as she hugged Pam and then Carolyn.

The house was soon filled with sounds of laughing, playful arguments, “do you remember whens”, and children asking when it was going to be time to open the presents. Pam had done about as much with the food as she could. They were either going to love it or hate it but she knew that there was nothing more that she could do. At least they had pies for dessert that she had no hand in making.

Carolyn announced that it was time to eat and Pam barely got out of the way before she was trampled. Jim grabbed her arm and pulled her aside. He wanted to apologize and make sure that everything was okay between them. He really hated it when they fought, not that it happened often, but he really didn’t want her to be mad at him, especially on Christmas.

Just when he was going to get his apology out, Jim’s mom interrupted and pulled Pam from his grip. “Everything looks wonderful honey,” Larissa said. “It smells just like Christmas.” That made Pam smile and feel a little bit better. She still hadn’t felt 100% after her night but thought that part of it might have to do with nerves.

After everyone had plates of food, Pam found a spot on the couch next to Jim. He smiled at her when she sat down and she smiled when he rested his hand on her knee while he talked to his dad about what they planned to do next with the house. Pam’s cheeked flushed with red every time someone complimented how good the food was and she accepted the compliment graciously. She nibbled on her food, but she really wasn’t that hungry. When she got up to take her plate to the kitchen, Jim followed her.

“Come upstairs with me,” he said, taking her hand. She only nodded and followed as he led the way. Soon all the voices in the living room were just background noise. Jim led her into their bedroom. As soon as the door was shut, he took her face in his hands and kissed her.

“I’m a jerk,” he said. “I’m sorry about earlier.” She wrapped her arms around this waist and buried her face in his chest.

“No, I’m just being sensitive,” she said. “I’m tired and I feel like crap and….well, I really had a lot of expectations to live up to today.”

“It looks like you did a great job,” Jim told her, squeezing her tight.

“I’m sorry that I took it out on you,” Pam sighed. “Will you forgive me?”

“Of course,” Jim said. “Will you forgive me?”

“For what?” Pam asked, confused.

“For being insensitive. And for giving you one of your Christmas presents early.”

Pam laughed. “Yes, definitely.”

Jim led her over to the bed. She sat down while he went to his nightstand and reached into the back of the drawer. He found the small box that he was looking for and handed it to her.

“What is this?” She asked.

Jim rolled his eyes. “You aren’t supposed to ask, Beesly. Just open it.”

Pam opened the small black box and inside was a silver locket with an “H” engraved on it. Pam felt tears well up in her eyes as she fingered the locket and gently removed its velvet pillow.

“Do you like it?” Jim asked, kneeling on the floor, in front of where she sat on the bed.

“It’s beautiful,” she said, putting on hand on his face and leaning down to kiss him. “I love it. Thank you. Will you help me put it on?”

“You have to look inside first,” Jim said, smiling.
Pam opened the locket and engraved on the left was Jim’s name. On the right side there was a picture of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

“What the….” Pam asked, laughing.

“Sorry,” Jim laughed. “I had to. Kevin said that we went together like PB and J. And then when he realized those were our initials, I thought he was going to explode. So I spent about two days at work last week looking for the perfect tiny picture of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. But your name is engraved on that side, underneath the picture.”

“Awesome,” Pam said, giggling. She pulled up her hair as Jim fastened the necklace. When it was secure he kissed her neck and let his hands trail down her arms. His kisses made a trail up her neck until he was just beneath her ear lobe.

“Jim,” Pam moaned. He always knew right where to kiss to drive her crazy. “We have a houseful of people downstairs.”

“Yeah, and they can find their way around. Half of them lived here at one point or another. So, make out with me for awhile.” Jim knocked her back onto the bed and Pam giggled. She tried to get out of his grip but he was too strong for her. She finally succumbed and ran her hands through his hair as he began kissing her.

She suddenly didn’t feel so well. She could feel a warm flush come over her cheeks. “Oh God,” she said, covering her mouth with her hand.

“What is it?” Jim asked, shifting to the side. Pam just squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head. Jim moved out of the way and helped her sit up. She leapt off the bed and made it to the bathroom just in time. Jim followed close behind her and ran a washcloth under cold water to put on her neck. She rested her arm on the toilet and her head on her arm.

“Oh. My. God,” she said slowly.

“Are you going to get sick again?” Jim asked, sitting down on the floor next to her, rubbing her back. But Pam just shook her head slowly.

“No,” she said, finally. “But I think I have an early Christmas present for you.”

“Uhhh,” Jim said. “Okay. Are we in third grade and does this have something to do with your vomit?”

Pam wanted to laugh but she just stared at Jim in disbelief. She couldn’t believe she hadn’t thought of this sooner. She decided that she would have figured it out sooner but with all the Christmas mayhem, she hadn’t even thought about it.

“Do I get this present now?” Jim asked, after Pam hadn’t said anything for a few minutes.

She shook her head. “It’s going to take awhile.”

“I thought you said it was an early Christmas present,” Jim said, adjusting the washcloth on her neck so it was cool again.

“Jim, I think I’m pregnant.”
They sat staring at each other for what felt like hours. “Say something,” Pam finally said.

“I… I don’t… I mean… This is… Are you sure?” He stuttered.

Pam shook her head again. “No, not 100%. But it makes sense. I’ve been moody, I’ve cried like 15 times today. I have been puking for the last 24 hours. And I’m like 10 days late. Which I should have realized before now, but I didn’t.”

“We’re gonna have a baby?” Jim asked.

Pam smiled and nodded. “We’re gonna have a baby!”

They made their way back downstairs after Pam was sure that she wasn’t going to throw up again. At least for the moment. They decided that they weren’t going to tell anyone until they were 100% sure but Pam was pretty certain it was true. Jim was going to run to the drugstore on the corner after his family had left for the night. They knew they wouldn’t be able to go longer than a couple hours without confirming the suspicions.

“Well, well,” Tom said, as the couple made their way back into the living room. “Where did you two run off to?” It looked like almost no one had realized their absence until Jim’s brother made it known.

Pam blushed and Jim pulled her close to his side. “We were exchanging early Christmas presents,” Jim told his brother matter of factly. Pam held up her locket that was on her neck as if to show the proof.

“And what did you get, Jimmy?” Tom asked.

Jim and Pam turned to each other with their mouths slightly agape. Jim smiled at her and then turned to his brother and said in a loud whisper. “I got…. Well, I can’t really talk about it with all these people in the room. But I’m sure it’s something that doesn’t happen to you everyday. If you know what I mean.” He winked at his brother and then turned back to Pam and winked at her too.

***
“How long does it take?” Jim asked. The second everyone had left, he made it to the drugstore and back in record time. They were both sitting on the bed and Jim’s knee was bouncing anxiously.

“Three minutes,” Pam told him, laying her hand on his leg, hoping to calm him down.

“Hasn’t it been like 10 already?” He asked, getting up from the bed, pacing the floor instead.

Pam glanced at the clock. “No, it’s been one,” she said and then continued. “Jim, are we ready for this?”

He looked at her worried face and sat down next to her on the bed again, taking her hand in his. He played with her engagement ring for a minute before he spoke. Pam thought it was going to say something profound and meaningful with the way he looked at her but instead he just said, “I don’t know.” It clearly didn’t easy her worry so he continued. “I do know that I want this more than anything Pam. To have a family with you. I’ve dreamed of it more times than you can imagine.”

She smiled at him and rested her head on his shoulder. “I thought only girls did that.”
He smiled too. “Well, you know me….” He said. “I’m a little bit of a romantic.”

Pam reached up and kissed his cheek. “It’s time,” she said, glancing at the clock again.

“Do you want to look together?” Jim asked, getting up with her.

Pam shook her head as she walked across the room. “If it’s okay, I want to tell you.”

Jim smiled and nodded. “Pam,” he said, stopping her right before she went into the bathroom. “Do you want this?

She didn’t say anything, just slipped into the bathroom. She emerged a few seconds later, tears streaming down her cheeks. “I want more than anything to have a family with you too,” she said. She slowing crossed the room until she was standing in front of Jim. “So I guess we can consider this a Christmas present for both of us.”

Jim’s arms were immediately around her and tears were falling down his cheeks. He pulled her onto the bed with him and kissed her passionately. He his hand up so it was resting on her cheek. “Thank you,” he said.

“Merry Christmas.”

The first light of morning seeped though the blinds as Jim sleepily rolled over to put his arms around Pam. His eyes darted open when he realized that she wasn’t there and her side of the bed was cold. He sat up and saw light streaming from underneath their closed bedroom door. He looked at the clock and saw that it was 4:45. It was Pam’s first official day of maternity leave but he didn’t have to get up for another 2 hours.

Throwing his legs over the side of the bed, he ran his hand through his hair. He searched the floor for the pajama bottoms that had been discarded before he went to bed the night before. After checking the baby’s room to see if Pam was in there, which turned up empty, he headed downstairs. As he rounded the corner to the living room, he saw her. She was on the couch, legs propped up on the coffee table, blanket over her bulging belly. Her head was back against the couch, but she had a hot cup of tea in her hands so he knew she was awake.

He said, “Hey” so quietly she wasn’t sure if she’d heard but he didn’t want to startle her.

She raised her head slowly and looked at him. “Hey,” she said back. “Did I wake you?”

Jim took a few long strides to couch and sat beside her. “Only when I realized that you weren’t in bed. How long you been up?”

Pam shrugged. “Awhile,” she said, quietly.

“You okay?” He asked when she didn’t offer anymore. He reached over and rested his hand on her belly.

“Yeah,” she said with a slight smile on her face. “I’m… um…. I’m in labor.”

“Seriously?” Jim asked, a little more loudly than he expected. “Don’t we need to get to the hospital?” He jumped up and ran both his hands through his hair and started pacing as if he was deep in thought. “Okay, I’m going to go and get your bag and then I’m going to go start the car and then I’m going to come back and get you and….” He was talking a mile a minute.

“Jim,” Pam said, just as quietly as before. “Relax. We have plenty of time. Just…. Please stay calm. Because if you don’t, then I won’t and then I’m really going to freak out.”

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry,” he said, sitting back down next to her. “Why didn’t you wake me up?”

“I just needed a few minutes to myself,” she answered, honestly.

He took her hand and she squeezed it a little as her head fell back again and her breathing quickened. “Contraction?” He asked and Pam nodded a little, her lips forming a tight line.

After a few seconds she took a deep breath and opened her eyes. “They are getting closer and closer together,” she said. “I guess we should go.” Jim nodded. “Can you help me up?”

Jim got up and then pulled Pam to her feet and into his arms. “I love you… so much,” he whispered into her hair as he kissed her cheek.


***
Four hours later, Jim understood why Pam had wanted to take a few minutes to herself that morning. Things became very intense, very quickly once the got to the hospital. He didn’t realize that seeing Pam in so much pain was going to rip him to shreds. He stayed right be her side though and never let on that he was about to lose it.

When she turned to him with tears in her eyes and said, “I can’t do this anymore”, he wanted to scoop her up in his arms and tell the doctors to just stop everything and make it go away. Of course, the reasonable side of him knew that that wasn’t possible so he smoothed her hair back, placed a cold cloth on her forehead to wipe away the sweat and looked in her eyes.

“Yes, you can. I know you can,” he told her with more strength than he knew he had. “We’re almost....” he stopped himself and started over. “You’re almost there,” he said. He was not about to pretend that he was doing any of the work. “And it will be so worth it when it’s over.”

He kissed her forehead and Pam started to cry. “What is it?” He asked, looking at one of the monitors to see if another contraction has started. It hadn’t.

“What if the baby doesn’t like me?” she said through sobs. He knew that she was exhausted but that was just ridiculous.

“What are you talking about?” He asked her as gently as he could. He’d made it this far without pissing her off. He had seen the movies… the guy always seemed to piss off the woman in labor. He didn’t want to start now.

“I… I’ve just never been good with kids and… I just thought that my own baby would be the exception, but what if it’s not?”

Jim took her face in both of his hands and wiped her tears with him thumbs. “Well then she’ll be grounded,” he said. “And she won’t come out of her room until she decides that you are her most favorite person in the world.”

Pam looked at him and smiled. He sighed, glad that humor wasn’t such a bad idea. “She?” Pam asked.

“Well, yeah,” Jim said. “I mean, I know that we don’t know for sure but I think it’s a girl.”

Pam managed to squeeze in, “I’m gonna take you all in… cause I think it’s a boy” before her next contraction silenced her. “I think I need to start pushing.”

Just then the nurse walked in. “You need to start pushing?” She asked and Pam nodded. “Okay, then let’s do it, on your next contraction start pushing.” The nurse called the doctor and suddenly the room was full of activity.

It all happed so fast yet Jim felt like he was moving in slow motion. The nurse yelled at Pam to push one more time and Pam’s screamed turned into a baby screaming. They were both crying as the nurse laid the baby on Pam’s chest. “It’s a boy!” She said.


***
Jim held his son tightly in his arms as Pam drifted to sleep a few feet away from them. His gaze drifted between the baby and Pam in awe. He loved Pam more than anything in the world but he had no idea that when he held their baby in his arms that his heart would suddenly expand in a whole new way.

“I don’t know if you realize how happy you’ve made me,” he whispered to the baby. He freed the baby’s hand from the tightly wrapped blanket and gently rubbed his tiny little fingers. “I never thought I’d love anyone as much as I love your mom but here you are. And I love you so much. We have to take care of mom, you and me. We have to make her feel like she is the most important person in the world. Because she is. She’s proof that you should never, ever settle. You’re soulmate could be being born right now, in this very hospital. Maybe we’ll take a walk later and see if anyone catches your eye.”

“What are you talking about over there?” Pam asked, making Jim jump slightly and the baby grunt and stretch a little.

Jim smiled. “I was just telling him the rules of basketball,” he said, innocently.

“For some reason I don’t believe you,” Pam laughed.
Jim got up and walked towards the bed. “Do you want to hold your baby?” He asked and she nodded.

He gently set the baby in her arms and sat on the bed next to her. She scooted over a little to give him more to sit with him. He put his arm around her and kissed her head.

“Can you believe this?” Pam asked, stroking the baby’s cheek.

Jim shook his head. “I keep wondering when I am going to wake up.”

“I think we’ll be spending plenty of time awake in the next few months,” Pam laughed.

“We?” Jim asked, keeping a straight face.
Pam elbowed him gently and giggled. “Seriously though,” she said. “I am so glad that you are my baby’s daddy. I love you.”

“I love you so much,” he replied. Jim kissed her temple and then she turned her head so she could kiss him the right way.