Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

2010

It started in the sandbox.

Much to their parent's chagrin, somehow, someway, two year old Kurt Schrute wound up sharing a pail and shovel with Janie Halpert.

Her little cheeks were smeared with remnants of mixed berries yogurt, his fingers were stained pink from the roasted beets he'd had for lunch.

And the rest - as they say - is history.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

2013

"She's awful - Jim."  Pam grumbled as she slammed the oven door shut, wincing as she burnt her fingers on a tray of chocolate chip cookies. 

"Damnit."  She muttered as she threw the cookie sheet down, causing half of them to scatter onto the floor. 

Jim smiled as he walked over and grabbed her hand in his.  He led her to the sink and ran her fingers under cold water.  He leaned close and whispered in her ear. 

"OK.  Seriously Pam.  Breathe."

She pulled away and glared at him.  "You breathe.  I'm telling you if she tells me one more time that if I keep dressing Janie like that boys will get the wrong idea I'm going to punch her."  She brought her hand to her mouth and sucked on her knuckles.  "She is so self righteous and judgemental and a total…"

"Tightass?"  Jim offered.

"Among other things."  She blew her hair out of her eyes in a huff of breath. "She's ridiculous."  Pam was still fuming.

He knew there wasn't much he could say to diffuse the situation until she got this out of her system.  "OK."

"Janie is a sweet, lovely little girl.  She's not a heathen destined to burn in the fires of hell for wearing a green t-shirt under her overalls.  Angela's sick Jim.  The woman has some sort of mental illness.  And he sits by and takes it.  Oh my God.  Who knew Dwight would end up so completely whipped?"

"You couldn't have called that way back when?"  Jim asked in disbelief.  "Pam.  Please.  Calm down.  You're making too much of this.  C'mon.  They're kids.  They're only five.  They're buddies.  It's not like they're going to end up married…"

Pam paid no attention.  "She had the audacity to tell me I'm "not allowed" to make cookies.  Because she was and "We can't have too many in the same category."  It's a freaking BAKE SALE for god's sake.  And I'm telling you right now.  She can take her cookies and shove them right up her…"

"Up her what Mommy?"  Janie's sweet voice filled the room as she stood by the archway to the kitchen.

"Caboose."  Jim replied, biting back a laugh.  He was caught between chuckling at his red faced and furious wife and his sweet, adorable inquisitive child.  He walked over to Jane, scooping her up easily and holding her upside down.  Her braided pigtails hovered a foot off the floor.  She erupted in a fit of giggles.

When Jim flipped her upright she threw her tiny arms around his neck and rested her cheek on his shoulder. 

"Does Kurt's mom have her own train?"  Janie asked excitedly.

"No, sweetie."  Pam sighed, finally reigning in her temper. 

"Then how can she shove her cookies up her caboose?"  Her daughter's voice was full of innocence.

"It's a figure of speech honey."  Jim replied.

"What's that mean?"  Janie scrunched her little nose at him.

He pressed a kiss to her forehead.  "You'll find out, soon enough."

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

2025

It wasn't easy being someone like Kurt.  Beginning his teenaged years with an unflinchingly rigid mother and a father who had more quirks than a boatload of circus freaks.  Still he strived to be normal.  He hid Sports Illustrated under his bed like other teenagers snuck Playboy. 

When he was younger he secretly collected baseball cards instead of sci-fi action figures. 

And now, just like your typical teenager, his seventeen year old eyes were pinned on cutest girl in school.

Who happened to be none other than Janie Halpert.

They'd been in the same classes since kindergarten.  For all her popularity Janie wasn't like other girls.  She never laughed in his face or called him names. 

She would always save a seat for him in the cafeteria, even when she had been dating Doug Miller, the captain of the basketball team. 

She didn't laugh when he told her he'd never been allowed to try Jell-O. 

Although she did laugh when he told her his father called it "the instrument of the devil." 

She had sandy brown hair that curled in some sort of organized chaos over her shoulders, eyes that danced with mischief and a smile like no other.  She was perfection personified as far as he was concerned. 

He knew he didn't have much of a chance, but it didn't stop him from hoping.

And daydreaming.

The latest series consisted of him asking her to a very important dance - either homecoming or the prom.  He'd been saving for weeks, his allowance from working the beet farm over the summer, plus the extra money he earned selling the little things he'd made from scraps of wood he'd found around the barn.  He'd done a dozen picture frames last weekend and already sold half of them. 

He had quite the knack for carpentry he was finding.

The scent of raspberries suddenly overwhelmed him and he knew what he'd find when he looked up.

"Janie."  Kurt croaked.

"Hey."  She beamed at him.  "Are you coming by the office later?  We need to discuss strategy."

Janie was head of the yearbook committee, focusing on layout and art direction.  Kurt was in charge of selling the advertising.  Turned out Kurt was a born salesman.  This year they had raised more money than ever before.

They really made quite a team.

"Sure."  He nodded, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

"Cool.  I'll meet you at 3:30."  She shifted her bag on shoulder and blushed a bit as she walked away.

"Cool."  Kurt called after her, trying to keep his hands from shaking.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Once safely in the hallway she leaned against a row of lockers, willing her heart to stop pounding.

Janie was head over heels in love, and had no idea what to do about it.

She mentioned something about Kurt to one of her friends once.  She had laughed and made some sort of a joke, calling him a freak like most people did.  Janie didn't understand why they couldn't see what she did when she looked at him.

He wasn't conventionally handsome, his hair stuck up straight and his glasses were so old fashioned looking they were comical.  Somehow, in Janie's mind, Kurt made them seem ultra hip and retro. 

He was tall - just like her.  It was really hard for her to find a guy she didn't tower over. 

He was funny and sweet, kind and considerate.  He knew so much about so many subjects.  She was quite certain he'd be able to survive on a desert island for months. 

Not that that was very likely - but - it could happen.

He was odd, no question, but so were his parents.  And she knew that her own family wasn't exactly normal.    Her father liked to suspend office supplies in Jell-O and her parents would sometimes go days without talking to each other until usually she herself had to go out and buy a case of Coca-Cola.

With her head swirling with dreams she settled at her desk in US History and pulled out her notebook.  Tucking a stray curl behind her ear she started to doodle.  This time it was rose covered vines in the shape of a heart. 

Scrawled smack dab in the middle, in the most perfectly cursive script was the following.

Jane Schrute

Janie Schrute

Jane Anne Halpert Schrute

"Are we keeping you up Miss Halpert?"  Her teacher scolded from the front of the room.

"Sorry."  She replied and flipped the page.   She blinked furiously and tried desperately to concentrate.

Mrs. Jane Halpert-Schrute

Maybe.  Janie sighed as she began taking notes.  Someday.

"It is about time, young man.  Dwight Kurt Schrute the Fourth.  Where have you been!?"  Angela said accusingly.

"Hey Mom."  He sighed when he caught her disapproving gaze.  "Sorry.  I mean.  Hello Mother."

"My question hasn't been answered."  She replied, tapping her foot.

Kurt put his coat away and sidestepped Princess Fluffington, who meowed loudly as she wound her way around his ankles.   He brushed the hem of his khakis.  Their house was meticulously clean but his clothes were forever covered in cat hair.

"I stayed late at school.  Yearbook."  He picked up Mr. Whiskers and petted his head softly.

Angela made a sound of disgust.  "With Jane?"

He shrugged.  "Of course.  She is head of the yearbook committee."

"That's not all she is."  Angela grumbled.

Kurt knew better to talk back to his mother, though it took all he had to bite his tongue.  He knew she tended to take her opinion of Jane's mom out on Jane herself.  As far as he was concerned, it wasn't at all fair.

"Mom.  Question.  What did Mrs. Halpert ever do to you?"

Angela waved a hand at him and turned back to the stove.  "It's not just her mother.  Her parents are nothing but conniving troublemakers.  Pranksters.  They do nothing but waste time."

He'd asked her before - and always got the same answer.  Didn't sound all too bad to Kurt.  He knew there was probably much more to it but tonight he was too happy to try and find out.

He should have known better.  Time-wasting was high on the list of things his mother vehemently disapproved of.

Even she couldn't spoil Kurt's mood at the moment.  He'd spent two glorious hours in a room with Janie.  She'd sat next to him, so close their shoulders kept brushing.  He could still hear her laugh, soft and bell-like as it rang in his ears.  And he could still see her smile.  When he looked at her mouth all he could think of was what she must taste like.

He knew for a fact she always smelled of raspberries.  He'd spent hours wondering if her lip gloss was the same flavor.

He was roused by the clipped sound of his mother's voice.

"Dinner will be ready in an hour and your father will be home soon.  Why don't you start on your studying in the meantime?" 

Kurt knew it was an order thinly veiled as a suggestion.

"Sure."  He nodded and dropping the cat gently to the ground he made his way upstairs.

As he did he vowed to himself.  He couldn't live like this forever.  One day he was going to summon the courage to actually make some sort of move with Janie. 

And when he did - his parents were just going to have to deal with it.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

"Hmmmph.  What!"  Pam sat bolt upright on the couch.  Jim stood beside her and laughed.

"JIM!  You scared me."  She clutched a hand to her chest and tried to bring her breathing back to normal.

"I'm sorry."  He tried to reign in his laughter as he sank onto the couch beside her.  "I thought you might want to know I was home."

"I am - just…"  Pam finally smiled and smoothed back her hair as she leaned towards him for a kiss.  "I was so sound asleep."

"Welcome home."  She whispered as she held his gaze.  "I'm sorry.  I tried to wait up.  Are you hungry?"

"I'm OK.  I ate at the airport."  He replied as he kissed her again.  "What's new around here?"

"Jimmy lost his basketball game.  I "suck" as a stand-in coach apparently" She said with a frown.  "He told me you're never allowed to miss another one."

"Duly noted.  And I'm sure you didn't suck.  Their defense has been crappy lately.  I warned them at the last practice this would happen.  It's fine.  Keeps them from getting to cocky."  He brushed a stray curl off her cheek. 

"OK.  What's that look?"  He asked suspiciously.

"Huh?"  She feigned innocence.

"You have that look."

"What look?"

"The…"Jim's not going to like what I have to say" look."

"Well.  You're not."  She said matter-of-factly.

"Ohhhkay."  Jim braced himself for the worst.  "What is it?"

"Before I tell you - for the record - I don't like it much either except…"

"What?"

"Despite it all he's really a good kid."  Pam shrugged.

"Who?"

"The object of our daughter's affection."

Jim's heart began to beat a little faster.    He'd been dreading this day.  It's not like this was the first crush Janie had had but there was something in his wife's voice that gave him pause.

"Who?"

Pam's eyes sparkled and a grin tugged at her lips.  "Kurt."

"Kurt."  Jim repeated, as if it was the first time he'd ever heard the name.  "You mean Dwigt and Angela's Kurt?"

"The very same."  Pam replied.

He made a face.  "That's impossible."

"Oh no.  It's absolutely possible.  She's totally ga-ga."

"Don't ever say that again."  He really thought she was kidding, but now wasn't at all sure.  "Pam.  Stop it."

"I'm serious.  She's way gone."

"For Dwight's kid?"  Jim could barely speak.

She thought his reaction was hilarious.  She fought to keep from laughing.  "Yes."

He narrowed his eyes at her and his voice became soft and serious.  "OK.  Level with me.  Who else have you been sleeping with?"

Pam nearly choked.  "Excuse me?"

"She can't be my child."

Pam rolled her eyes.  "Jim."

He shook his head.  "Seriously.  Who else were you with?  Was it that guy from your art class?  I bet it was.  What was his name again?  Antonio something?"

Her mouth hung open.  She punched him none too gently.  "Oh my God.  I cannot even believe you.  That was almost eighteen years ago.  How many times do I have to tell you this?  Antonio was involved with someone else."

He winced and rubbed his arm but was undeterred.  "So what?  I remember it like it was yesterday.  You used to go on and on about how dreamy he was.  And you two would go out for "coffee" after class all the time."  He looked at her pointedly.

"All true.  But you're conveniently forgetting that his someone else's name was Larry."  Pam smiled back at him.  "Hate to break it to you but you're stuck with her Jim.  Someone's DNA made her nearly six feet tall and it sure as hell wasn't mine."

"Agreed."  He laughed as he pulled her closer.  "Dwight's kid?"  He asked, still disbelieving.

Pam nodded.  "She hasn't come right out and said it but it's in what she doesn't say.  I speak from experience."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."  She giggled as she tilted her face up to his.  "They spent some time together today after school and she came home walking on air.  She's trying to be so casual about it it's painful." 

She kissed him softly and sweetly as she added.  "I can see right through her.  It's exactly the same way I used to talk to my mother about you."

Janie slid into the car, a little breathlessly.  It's November and her cheeks could be stained pink by the cold air.

But there's another reason entirely.

"Hey Dad."  She smiled as she fastened her seatbelt.  "Thanks for picking me up."

"No problem."  Jim replied.  Janie's car had stalled the other day and he didn't like the idea of her getting stuck out on the road all alone.  He had to talk to Pam about going to look into buying her a new one.  Something used, probably, but more reliable.

"How was your day?"

How was my day?  Janie's head was still spinning.  It was simply amazing, stupendous nothing short of spectacular.  There weren't enough adjectives in the world to describe the type of day it has been.  It was the single most perfect day of her life.

Kurt asked her to Homecoming.

Really, truly asked her.  And not as "just friends".  He asked her, bumbling and stumbling a bit over the words but he'd done it.

And she couldn't be happier about it.

She just wasn't quite sure her father was ready to hear it though.

"It was alright."  she said as she nibbled nervously on her nails and shifted in her seat to change the radio station.  For the next two traffic lights they sat in silence.  Janie could feel his eyes on her, could see clearly the smirk he wore out of the corner of her eye.

She turned and looked at him quizzically.  "What?"

"I didn't say anything."  Jim shrugged.

"You didn't have to.   Go ahead."  She nodded her hear towards him and looked so much like Pam at that moment it made Jim grin widely.   "You're obviously dying to say something to me."

"Nope.  Not really." He shrugged again.

And this was what was so infuriating about her father.  Janie thought with a sigh.  He was endearing without even trying.

She narrowed her eyes at him.  "What did Mom say to you?"

"What makes you think she's said anything?  Guilty conscience Jane?"

Janie's expression clearly said "Are you serious?"  She sighed.  "No.  You two are always off chatting and giggling like idiots."

"Hey."  He gave her a scolding look, which didn't quite have the desired effect because of the smile he'd paired with it.  "I happen to really like talking to your mother."

"Or not talking to her."  Janie rolled her eyes.

"That's her game - not mine."

"You two do realize that you both are pushing fifty."  She gave him a look.

"Don't let her hear you say that.  She's very sensitive."

"Oh yeah sure, old man."  Janie giggled as she ran a hand over the top of his head, mussing up his already unruly hair.

He tried to smooth it down again as he glared over at her.  "You know I was questioning my paternity the other day and now I'm sure you're not actually mine…"

Janie's giggle morphed into a hearty laugh.  "Ha!  As if after all you two went through Mom would ever…"

"I don't know - she told me something kinda…disturbing."  Jim began his voice tentative.   He loved both his children with equal affection but there had always been something special about Janie.  She was his first and from the moment she wrapped her tiny fist around his finger he'd been lost.

Janie gnawed on her bottom lip, suddenly worried.  The one thing she's always been sure of was her parents staying together till the next millennium.  They were perfect for each other.  Was he saying he was actually doubting that she'd been faithful to him?  The idea was preposterous.

Janie did have reason to worry - but that wasn't it.

"What's that?"

Jim tried to sound as casual as he could.  "Something about you and…Kurt spending time together…"

Janie's heart skipped a beat at the sound of Kurt's name.  She fought to keep her voice light.  "Well.  We both work on yearbook…"

Jim could tell by the tone of her voice there was more to it.  "And?"

"And he's…just…really…nice."

"You…sound…just…like…your…mother."  He replied, mimicking her tone as he gave her a look.  "Jane Anne.  You're evading the question."

She shook back her hair and sighed a little.  "I don't know - I just really like him.  He's ummm…a good friend."

Friends?  Oh God.  The little alarm in Jim's head started to ding.  He fought to keep his voice steady.  "Would you call him your best friend by any chance?"

Janie waited a few moments before she spoke again.  "Maybe."

Jim exhaled a bit.  She'd said "Maybe".  Maybe was good.  Maybe wasn't, 'Yes of course'.  There was still some sort of hope.

At least that's what he thought until he glanced at Jane sideways.  It was then when his heart stopped beating.

Oh my God.  Pam was right.

The dreamy look in Jane's yes and the impish grin on her face spoke volumes.

His "baby" had officially grown up.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Kurt couldn't believe the words had actually come out of his mouth.  Sitting at his desk in his room he thought back to how it had all finally happened.

"If you keep doing such a good job selling ads - we'll have no room for senior pictures."  She nudged his arm gently.

Kurt shrugged.  "It's the Schrute blood. We used to peddle our wares in horse drawn buggies all over the sylvan woods…"

"Oh my God.  That sounds like something my dad would say - when he's - you know - making fun of your dad."

"That's because it is something my dad has said."

Janie put down her pencil and stopped sketching a cartoon of a cheerleader for the football page for a second.  "Do you ever think it's weird?"

"What's weird?"

"You know.  How in a weird way we're…like connected.  How our parents used to work together?"

"No."  He smiled shyly. "I think it's weird our parents had their lives documented on national television."

"I KNOW!"  Janie's eyes nearly popped from her head.  "Every time I watch that and see my mother."  She sighed heavily. "It drives me crazy.  How could she not see how my dad was right there, the whole time?"

"Maybe it's hereditary." Kurt replied softly.  His face blanched and his mind started to spin. 

Janie was having trouble catching her breath. "Huh?"

"How long have we known each other, Janie?"

She blinked at him.  "Forever…I…guess."

Too late now, Kurt - just go for it.  You know you want to.  "I've been right here, the whole time."

Janie's pencil dropped to the floor with a dull thud, rolled slowly across the ground and slid under the radiator.  It was the only sound in the room at the moment.

"I know that."  She whispered as she stared into his eyes.

He was lost, simply…lost as he gazed back at her.  "OK." 

"I j-just…"  Janie stammered. "I didn't think you noticed me…I mean…like that."

Drunk on the sound of her voice saying the words similar to the ones he'd always hoped for Kurt was suddenly emboldened.  "You were wrong."

"OK."  She replied.

He took a deep breath and forged ahead. "Janie, would you  - I mean do you - have a date for Homecoming?"

"No."  She shook her head her curls swaying back and forth as she did.

"Do you want one?" He asked, getting nervous again as he pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

She smiled then and it lit up her whole face.  "That'd be nice."

He was roused from reminiscing when his father's shadow darkened his doorway.

"Your mother told me everything and we need to approach this strategically."  He began.  "Like the Empire…plotting revenge on the rebel forces.  I'll be Darth Vader…"

It was always interesting to see what inane reference his father would pick.  "Which would make me Luke Skywalker and have us on opposite sides…kind of a bad example Dad..."

Dwight was undeterred.  "No.  It's a brilliant example.  You're Luke.  She's…Leia."

Kurt shook his head.  "Still bad.  That would make her my sister..."

He decided to approach this whole thing differently.  "I am an expert on this subject.  You must listen to me, and listen well.  These…rebel forces are going to try and trick you and take you to the true dark side.  Trust me.  There's something else to this.  I know them and I am also sure that he has been plotting this for years."

"Dad.  Mr. Halpert did not plan anything…"

Dwight stood and moved to the hallway lifting up an enormous file box.  "This is 2005-2006.  Grievances include but are not limited to…"

Kurt sighed.  He should have seen this coming.  "Dad."

"What?"

"This thing.  Me and Janie?  Listen to me.  It is not an elaborate plot to get to you."

"You do not know what you are talking about.  The Halperts, they are incredibly devious.  You need to know how to fight them."

He had always known this wouldn't be easy.  "This isn't a war Dad…"

"I have something you should read."  Dwight replied as he handed a book to Kurt with a smile.

Kurt regarded the paperback he held in his hand.  "Outwitting Critters: a Sure-Fire Manual for Confronting Devious Animals and Winning"

"Those Halperts are like the rodents.  They're insinious."

His father was forever mangling words.  "It's insidious."

"That's what I said.  They are conniving and cunning but Kurt, we're even more cunning that they are cunning."  His voice lowered dramatically as he finished.  "We're cunning..inger"

And knowing no one could argue with that type of logic, Kurt decided to give in. 

"You're right Dad.  I better be careful."

Pride filled Dwight's features and radiated in his voice. "Exactly."

"I should do my part and infiltrate enemy territory."  Kurt added.  "It's my duty as a Schrute to get as close to Janie Halpert as I possibly can."

Kurt could have been imagining it, but he was pretty sure he saw a glimmer of a tear in his father's eye.  "I'm so glad you've seen the light, my son."  He said as he hefted the box and made his way towards the hallway.

"I have.  I'll keep you posted on what I'm able to find out - you know - as soon as I'm close enough."

"Excellent."  Dwight called over his shoulder.

Kurt smiled and turned back to his studying.  Wasn't that just the worst?  He had just been told he'd practically be disowned if he didn't try to get as close to Janie as possible.

It was a tough assignment, but who was he to disobey?

"Have you calmed down yet?"  Jim asked her, treading softly.   They had just come from a pre-party at the Schrutes.

To say it did not go well was an understatement.

Pam glared at him.  "Not by a long shot.  She is awful.  S-s-she – I mean did you hear her?  She practically called our daughter a whore - Jim."

Jim sighed.  "I know.  I heard her."

"To her face.  For what?  Wearing a green dress?  Janie loves that dress.  It looks so pretty on her.  Angela is just evil.  What is wrong with her?  And here she is being all 'do unto others' when you and I and the rest of America knows for a fact that she likes to drive down to Philly and impersonate prostitutes…"

Jim rolled his eyes.  "OK - Pam.  I don't think one time constitutes…"

"Jane Doe my ass.  And are you seriously defending her?"

He shook his head and tried to reason with her.  "No.  Hold on…"

She gave him a look that could shatter glass.  "Because if you are you can just drop me off at home and then keep on driving."

"Pam…"  He tried again as he carefully pulled into the driveway.  He watched with dismay as she flung the seatbelt off and slammed the door behind her.

She fumbled with her keys, still furious.  He rested his hands on her shoulders, turned her to face him and whispered, "Breathe" as he took the keys from her hands. 

She inhaled and exhaled quickly and then snatched the keys back.  "Aren't you the least bit upset about this?"   She stormed into the house, the heels of her boots clicking against the hardwood floor.

He followed, still trying to get her to calm down.  "Hey.  OK - seriously.  This is insane.  Who are you and what did you do with my wife?  You know - the woman who told me that Kurt was a good kid and that it was cute that our daughter was 'ga-ga' over him."

She glared at him.  "I thought we agreed not to use that term."

Jim had had enough.  This was crazy.  There was no reason for the two of them to be fighting over this.  "You know what I mean.  Pam - c'mon.  Make up your mind."

"You're fine with this?"  She looked at him incredulously.

He shrugged back at her.  "I'm trying to be - yeah."

She squinted her eyes at him.  "You're fine with the fact that sooner or later we could share a grandchild with Dwight and…Angela of all people."

The words flew like a bullet straight to his heart.  "OK.  Pam.  Are you trying to kill me?"

"I'm trying to get you to take this seriously."  She replied.

"Oh trust me - I am.  But there are things I don't like to contemplate.  The idea of my daughter - doing anything that could result in giving me a grandchild - could quite possibly top that list."  He shivered.

"Jim.  Relax.  They're not having sex…"

Jim tried to shake the image from his head.  "I know that…"

"…yet - that is."  Pam cut him off sharply.

His hand moved to rest over his heart and his breathing was becoming labored.  "Cardiac arrest.  Seriously.  I'm having palpitations.  Do you know CPR?"

"I'm just saying that if this keeps going the way I think it will we're going to be RELATED to that sanctimonious hypocrite and I can't even…"

"PAM."  He stood before her and rested his forehead on hers, pleading softly.  "Can we please just cross that bridge when we come to it?"

She looked into his eyes and as always felt a sense of calm wash over her.  "OK."

Taking a deep breath he hoped she meant it.  "OK."

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

It was more difficult than Janie thought, showing up with Kurt.  Her friends, or the girls she'd come to think of as friends, barely hid their giggles.  It was odd the way they reacted, almost as if she had the plague.

He'd noticed, and it worried him, because the last thing he wanted to do is make Janie uncomfortable.  But he also knew he couldn't back down - or walk away - just because some people didn't get it.

It wasn't as if this evening hadn't been tough enough.  Kurt sighed; thinking how much more complicated this thing with Janie was getting by the minute.

He stood straight and tall beside her, his hand brushing against hers until she threaded her fingers with his and squeezed tightly.

"Do you want to stay?"  He leaned close and whispered in her ear.

"Huh?"  Janie turned and looked straight into his eyes.  She loved that she could do that, even when wearing heels.

"We could go if you want."  Kurt suggested.

It sounded like an excellent idea to her.  "Where?"

"I don't know."  He looked around the gymnasium, suddenly wondering what had possessed him to ever want their first date to be at an event like this.  Pathetic crepe paper decorations and balloons were covering every surface.    "Somewhere not here."

Suddenly inspired, Janie gave him a mischievous grin.  "Let's go."

With much less difficulty than they thought they located their coats from the pile that had been thrown over the bleachers.

Janie led Kurt to the hallway, down near the cafeteria.   She stopped in front of the vending machine and dug into her purse.  She chose two sodas and an assortment of snacks before turning to him and smiling widely. 

Balancing them in the crook of her arm she reached for Kurt's hand and they made their way outside to a small picnic area on the outskirts of the football field.

She stopped and placed their paltry provisions down on the table and shrugged her coat over her shoulders.  Her coat now covered the emerald green dress she wore, one that she'd picked because her Mom said it matched her eyes.   Kurt pulled on his parka and dragged a knit cap down over his ears.

Janie giggled at the sight of him.

"What?"  He gave her a look.

"Nothing."  She smiled and blushed a bit.  "Just…you're cute."

He'd meant to laugh her comment off but the words came out before he could stop them.  "Yeah – well.  You're beautiful."  He replied, holding her gaze.

Her cheeks deepened two more shades of pink.  "No I'm not…not really."

"You are to me."  He insisted.

She settled down on the bench and he climbed beside her. She handed him a bag of chips and a soda and he smiled.

This is all he’d ever wanted, ever needed.  He didn't need anything fancy.  Just Janie - all to himself.

"Sorry it's such a lame dance."  Kurt began.

She shrugged and smiled at him.  "Not your fault.  Dances are intended to be lame.  Usually just an excuse for people to drink and make out."

She blushed again, embarrassed that she'd brought up the topic of kissing.  Now he'd think she meant them…and not that she wasn't curious - she just would rather not be that obvious about it.

"I m-m-mean…"  She stammered.

He laughed.  "I know what you mean."

Janie looked at him thoughtfully.  "You do - don't you?"

Kurt nodded.  "I do.  I think we understand each other pretty well."

"We do."  She sighed.  "Even though your mom totally hates me…"

Kurt shrugged.  "Don't worry.  It's not you.  She pretty much hates everyone.  Talk to her about cats - you'll start to score points.  I think I should tell you - my dad thinks that us going out has something to do with a prank your dad set up."

Janie laughed loudly.  "That would be something.  Not that I wouldn’t put it past him.  My dad loves to tell stories about what it was like.  I mean you know – we saw all those pranks for ourselves.  Your father was really pretty gullible and my parents were pretty creative.”  She added wistfully. “I think my dad actually misses working with your dad.  I think he cares about him more than he wants to admit."

She smiled and crunched on a corn chip before she continued.  “My mom on the other hand – might just scratch your mother’s eyes out.”

“I have a sneaking suspicion that feeling is entirely mutual.”  Kurt reached out and brushed away a strand of her hair that was clinging to her cheek.  “Maybe we can be the ones to end this lifelong feud.”

“Two houses both alike in dignity...”  She chuckled under her breath as she ducked her head.

She’d mumbled and he didn’t quite catch what she’d said.  “What?”

She sucked in a breath, shook back her hair and smiled as she met his eyes.  “Maybe we can be.”

“Janie.”  Kurt whispered.  He didn’t know what was making him so confident.  Maybe it was just being with her.  She seemed to bring out the best in him.

“Yeah?”  She replied breathlessly.

He swallowed audibly and held her gaze.  “What would you do if I…um…if I tried to kiss you right now?”

“I’d…”  She smiled as she shifted closer until her face was right next to his.  “I’d totally let you.”

And so - with her complete cooperation - that's exactly what he did. 

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

“Make a right at the light.”  Angela ordered as she scanned the road for any sign of her son.

“Angela…”  Dwight sighed.  “I don’t know why we are out here…”

Her voice was full of complete and utter repugnance.  “Because our son is about to be corrupted by that – that – absolute harlot.”

“Ah ha.  That's where you are wrong, my precious monkey.  Things aren’t the way they appear.  He’s spending time with her because I asked him to.”  Dwight replied.

Steam, quite possibly, might have been seen spilling from Angela's ears.  “WHAT?”

“I know what’s going on here.  Jim’s messing with me and Kurt and I are working together to outsmart him.”

She blinked, unable to believe her husband’s incredible naiveté. “Is that what he told you?” 

“He didn’t have to.  I surmised it myself.”  Dwight said proudly.

Angela bowed her head and began to mutter a prayer under her breath.  “Lord, help my poor misguided, oblivious husband and please, please PLEASE give me the patience not to have him stop this car this instant so I can sufficiently kick his sorry behind.”

Dwight couldn’t believe his ears.  “Excuse me?”

Her voice was clipped, her annoyance apparent as she scolded him.  “Are you blind?  It is clear he has been deceiving you Dwight.”  Angela sat straight in her seat and sighed before she continued primly and properly.  “That seductress has blinded him with her vulgar charms and it’s up to us to stop it now - before it’s too late.”  She gazed at her husband and gave him a look of warning, a look that Dwight knew meant he’d not have first hand knowledge of his wife’s “charms” for a long time if he didn’t fall in line and obey.

She stared directly ahead, her goal obvious and unwavering as she added.   “We are going to that hell hole they call a school and I am going to put an end to this once and for all.”

"Piece of cake.”  He shrugged.  “Trust me.  I've become an expert in outwitting my parents."

"Well.  I'm glad you're so good at it.  Because that?"  Janie sighed and tried to make her breathing even.  "Could have been really embarrassing."

"We wouldn't want that."  He grinned over at her.

"No.  We wouldn't want that."  She shifted in her seat so that she could get a better look at him. 

"If we had gotten caught - it'd be worth it though."  He smiled slyly.  "You know this isn't the first time something like this has happened." 

"Oh really?"

"The way my father tells it, when the Schrutes first settled here, there was a milkmaid from a neighboring farm…"

She gave him a look.  "You are not seriously equating me to a milkmaid…"

"OK.  That is not the worst thing I could equate you to.  If my father ever mentions 'thirsty babies'…"

"Oh my God.  KURT!"  Janie's mouth widened in shock.  She pulled her coat tighter across her chest suddenly incredibly self conscious.

He chuckled back at her.  "I'm just saying.  You might want to rethink what you're getting into here."

"C’mon.  We've only been on one date."  She laughed.

His face fell and his voice lost its mirth.  "Oh.  I know."

The change in his mood was apparent.   Janie nibbled nervously on her lip.  “Kurt.”

“I know.”  He repeated as he pulled the car to a stop in front of her house.  He shifted to park and kept his hands firmly on the steering wheel.

“No.  I don’t think you do.”  Janie insisted.

Kurt hung his head and stared at the dashboard.  “It’s OK, Janie.  It was nice but…”

“Don’t do that.  Please, Kurt.  Look at me.”

He sat still and didn’t move an inch.

Janie took his chin in her hand and made him meet her eyes.  “No.  Look at me.”  She took a steadying breath.   “Do you know how long I’ve wished for this?  How long I wondered what it would be like to be someplace alone with you?”

Kurt fought to find his voice as he shook his head.  ‘No.”

“Let me tell you – it’s been a long time – a really long time.  And it sort of snuck up on me, actually.  I mean you were just this kid who I had a lot in common with and then one day all of the sudden you were this guy I couldn’t stop thinking about.”

He finally smiled and she smiled right back.

“My parents…” Janie began her eyes flitting from his to linger on his lips.  “They were friends for a long time but they ignored all the signs and by not talking made things much more difficult than they ever needed to be.  I don’t want to do that.  I don’t want to waste that much time.”

It was going to take some getting used to, actually having her here with him instead of just pining away.  He was going to have to work on that.  He began to laugh then, as he stared into her eyes. 

“Wait a second Janie.  Are you proposing?  There are a few problems with that.  Fact.  We are not old enough to legally marry in the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania.  Fact.  My meagre earnings would not be able to sufficiently support us.  Fact…”

He didn’t get a chance to finish his sentence.  It wound up muffled by Janie’s lips.

She giggled and smiled widely as she eased away and whispered.  “Fact.  You talk too much.”

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

They searched every place they could think of. 

“The farm?”  Dwight offered.

“No.  Not the farm.  She’s the product of slackers.  She wouldn’t know a hard day’s work if it came up and bit her.”  Angela snapped back at him.  “We should head for the interstate.  I’d expect her to lure him to a seedy motel or the like.”

Silence filled the space between them and suddenly Angela had an epiphany.  All at once a sense of calm washed over her.

“I don’t know why I am so worried.  This will never work out.”  She turned and gave Dwight her signature tight lipped smile.  “I should have faith that it’ll end before it actually begins.  Our son is nothing but sensible and level headed.  In the end I am confident he’ll see the light.”

“Do you still want me to call an APB in?”  Dwight asked as he watched his wife deliberately switch off the police scanner that had been squawking in the background.

“I don’t think it will be at all necessary.”  Angela murmured as she took his hand in hers.  She placed it purposely on the top of her thigh as she continued.  “Let’s go home, D.  I've got a new recipe for....cookies I'd like you to sample.”

Per usual, it was all the encouragement he needed.  Pushing the accelerator to the floor, Dwight switched on the flashing red light he’d kept from his volunteer sheriff days and sped straight towards home.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Pam turned over and caught sight of him and sighed. 

“Jim.” 

“What?”  He whispered back.

She moved to sit up and sighed again.  “Step away from the window and come to bed.”

He kept his back to her as he peered through the blinds.  “They’ve been out there for a long time.”

“And?”  Pam yawned.

“And I don’t think all they’re doing is talking.”  He said bitterly.

“OK – Look.  We’ve got to get on the same page with this.  Either we live and let live or we put a stop to it now – before it’s too late.”

Jim reluctantly turned around.  He looked like a little boy who’d lost his puppy.   “We can’t forbid her to date him.”

“You’re right.”  She smiled and held a hand out to him.

He walked back to the bed, took her hand and brushed his lips over her knuckles.  “It won’t stop her.  It’ll make it worse.  She’s stubborn.  Just like her mother.”

Pam agreed completely.  The best way to get Janie to do something is to tell her not to.  She tugged on his hand until he gave in and lay down beside her.  “You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

“No.  Not bad at all.”  He replied.  “I was certainly grateful when I came back and realized you weren’t going to let me go without a fight.”

“Janie’s stubborn – but she’s much wiser than I was.”  She added, her eyes twinkling.

He laughed and ran a hand across her cheek.  “She’s dating Dwight’s kid.  She’s not all that wise.”

“Jim.”  Pam scolded.

“I’m kidding.”   He smiled as he leaned close to kiss her.

At that precise moment they heard the sound of keys jingling and the front door snapping shut.

“See?  We can trust her.  She wasn’t out there for that long.”  Pam chuckled at him.  “We’ll see what happens with their second date.”

His first impulse was to rush out into the hallway and inspect his daughter for signs of…well.  He wasn’t sure he wanted to know. 

“Second date?  Please Pam.  Take it easy on me.  I’m begging you.  I’m trying desperately to be OK with this.”  He said as he leaned his forehead against hers.

“I know.”  She laughed as she pulled him closer.  “Too bad you suck at it.”

2035

"Well.  It's finally over."  Jim sighed as he walked into the room and sat down in a chair beside his wife.

She was hunched over a sketch pad, drawing furiously.  "Huh?" She asked absentmindedly.

"The longest running prank in history has come to an end.  It's a sad day actually - nearly thirty-five years in the making.  And to think – twenty-seven years ago when we were snowed in all day that it would come to this."

Pam looked up and wiped at her nose, leaving a smudge of charcoal across her cheek.  "What are you babbling about?"

Jim blew out a breath and rubbed a hand over his heart.  "Kurt just asked me…"

She put down her pad.  "No."

"Yes."  He chuckled back at her.

Pam's eyes were wide and her cheeks flushed.  Jim gazed at her, noticing not nearly for the first time how beautiful she looked when she was really excited about something.

"NO."

"Yes."  He nodded.

"Oh my God."  Pam squealed.

"I know."  Jim sighed heavily again. 

Her heart broke a little bit even as she was filled with joy.  Pam knew exactly what her daughter must be feeling right now.  "Jim.  This is so exciting.  Janie must be thrilled."

"Pam.  Seriously.  Calm yourself down - he only asked me - he didn't ask her yet."

"Oh c'mon.”  She dismissed the thought. “She knows its coming."

"And what makes you think I said yes anyway?"

She gave him a look.  "Because I know you."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah.  And I know your main goal in life is to do things that you think will make me happy."  Pam bent down and gave him a smacking kiss on the lips.

"I think you have a very high opinion of yourself."  He muttered.  “You’re way off base, Beesly.  This is all about me.  I’ve been setting Dwight up all along.”

Pam ignored his sarcasm and settled onto his lap.  "Actually - it extends to the kids - especially Janie.   So I know that you wouldn't deny Janie something that would make her this ecstatic."

"You're so onto me."

Her only response was a huge grin.  Her eyes sparkled as she reached up and ran her hands through his hair.   It was still pretty thick - but was now threaded with gray.    She thought it made him look very distinguished.

"So are you excited?  Now you get to plan another wedding…with Angela no less."

Pam's face fell.  "UGH - wedding planning.  I forgot that part."  She shuddered.  "This is why we eloped."

"No.  We eloped because you realized Michael became an ordained minister online specifically so he could officiate the ceremony."

"No.  We eloped because you told me one night that you couldn't wait another minute to marry me and why should you?"  Her eyes welled up a bit at the memory.

"Oh that's right.  I did say that didn't I?" Jim pulled her close and pressed a soft kiss to her lips.  "God.  I'm so good at that "sweeping you off your feet" stuff."

"And it's so refreshing.  You're not the least bit cocky about it."  She laughed. 

His voice and his gaze turned serious as he reached out and ran his hand gently through her curls.  "Hey.  Pam.  Do you ever wish…"

Her heart skipped a beat.   It thrilled her that he could still make that happen, after so much time.   "No.  Never."  She promised.  "Please - don't get me wrong - I'm not complaining.  If I'd wanted something different I'd have told you." 

He knew he was crazy for even bringing it up and the look in her eye confirmed it.  "OK."

"Good."  She smiled as he kissed her again.   "Oh and Jim?  Just one more thing."  He looked at her curiously before she added.   "You'd better check our credit line.  I'm warning you now - Jane's going to want a spectacle."  

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

"I don't think I'm ever going to get used to this."  Janie sighed.

"I don't blame you."  Kurt laughed as he knocked on the door.

Having dinner with Kurt's parents was not something Jane ever looked forward to - even after all this time.  After being together through four years of college and then grad school you would think she’d be an old pro by now. 

But something about the disapproving glare Kurt’s mother always gave her kept Jane perpetually off balance.

Kurt’s father, however, was proving to be a piece of cake.

Before Kurt could knock again the door flew open.  “Kurt.  Jane.  It’s about time.  I’ve been waiting.”

“Hey Dad.”  Kurt replied with a shake of his head as he watched Dwight grab Jane’s hand.    She quickly thrust the serving dish she’d been holding at Kurt and chuckled.

Dwight ignored his son’s greeting as he dragged Janie down the hall.  “I’ve set everything up to your specifications.”

“That’s great, Mr. Schrute.”  Jane smiled back at Kurt over her shoulder.

“Now.  I know that you said it doesn’t always work.”  Dwight began as he stopped in front of a display of small household items.

“That’s right.  It’s not something I can really control…”

“You need to fine tune your powers.”

“I know.  And trust me, sir.  I’ve been trying.”

“I’m just glad that you’ve been able to trust me with this.  Your father really never gave his abilities the respect they deserved.”

Jane sighed exaggeratedly.  “I know.  And it’s always brought a degree of shame to the good Halpert name.”

“When you’re a Schrute you’ll be able to rid yourself of that stigma for good.”  Dwight replied, matter-of-factly.

Jane was torn in that moment – between sticking up for her father, and dancing with glee.  She knew it was coming, he thought he was being sly, but she knew without question that Kurt had stopped by her parent’s house earlier in the week.  She knew, finally, her dreams were becoming a reality.

Mrs. Jane Halpert-Schrute

It was about time, was all she could think.

The sound of her future father-in-law’s voice broke through her daydream.  “Now.  Concentrate.  Try to move the toaster.”  He commanded.

Janie made a face.  “Hmmm.  The toaster is kinda tricky.”

Dwight shook his head.  “No excuses, missy.  I once saw your father move a coat rack with the slightest of effort.”

Jane bit back a laugh.  Yeah well.  Hmph.  She thought.  Slightest effort, my ass.  Her father had always had a secret weapon.  It’d be a piece of cake for her to move any of the items on the table too if her mother were sitting next to it, ready to assist.

Fortunately, or maybe unfortunately she was saved by the appearance of Kurt’s mother. 

“Jane.”  She said wearily.   Angela always sounded surprised that Jane actually showed her face in the house again.

“Mrs. Schrute.”  Jane replied with a smile.  Every time she was near Angela, she tried to remember that there must be something pleasant or kind about her.  After all, she’d been partially responsible for creating the love of her life.

And suddenly, he was standing right beside her, curling his arm around her waist and pulling her close.

“Hello, Mother.”  Kurt smiled.

“Hello, Kurt.”

His voice filled with pride as he handed the serving dish to his mother.  “Janie made some Lemon Garlic Roasted Beets for dinner.”  He smiled as he pressed a kiss to Jane’s temple.

Lemon Garlic Roasted Beets.  Always had to be so fancy.  Angela lifted the tin foil and made a face.  “Did you purchase these beets yourself Jane?”

She was sure that she was walking into something, but she also knew fighting it was futile.  Her spine stiffened as she met Angela’s disapproving gaze.  “Y-y-yes.”

“From a supermarket or farm stand?”

“Umm..supermarket?”

“Is that a question or an answer?”

Jane took a deep steadying breath, only able to reign in her temper due to Kurt’s soothing touch as he ran a hand over her back.

“It’s an answer.  I bought them at the supermarket.”

Angela shook her head.  “It’s because of people like you that there are people starving in Pennsylvania.  You have no respect for your local merchants.”

“Actually, Mom.  Our supermarket gets their produce from local farmers.  And it’s mostly grown organically.  Jane is nothing if not socially conscious.”

Without a good comeback to that, Angela turned on her heel and brought the dish to the kitchen.  “Hmph.”

As they watched her go Jane turned to Kurt and smiled widely.  “Can I just tell you how much I love you?”

“Trust me.  I know.  There is no way anyone would put up with this otherwise.”  He laughed as he kissed her softly.

“So.  Now you tell me something.  Is this some sort of milestone?  Your father is fascinated with me and we’ve rendered your mother speechless.”

Kurt pondered for a second and then readily agreed.  “Yeah. I think you’ve finally arrived.”

“Good.”  She smiled widely as she settled in his arms.  “So you agree I’ve passed the test?”

“With flying colors.”  He laughed kissing her again.

Jane’s eyes shone brightly as she gazed into his.  “So where’s my prize?”

“Huh?”

“My prize.”

Kurt stared at her, completely confused.

Janie blew her unruly curls off her face with a huff of breath.  “Seriously, Kurt.  Do I have to do everything in this relationship?”

Her tone of voice made him nervous.  “I d-d-don’t…”

She cut him off quickly.  “Question.  When are you finally going to ask me to marry you?”

“I-I-I…”

Jane waited a beat, then two, just staring at him and grinning widely.

Kurt calmed down considerably as he focused on her smile.  He took both of her hands in his and pressed a soft kiss to her knuckles.  “Right now.”

Jane’s heart beat frantically, but her voice was calm and sure.  “So.  Go.”

“OK.  Fact.  Janie, you’re amazing.”

“I am.”  She agreed.

“Fact.  You’ve put up with more than anyone should ever have to…”

Jane laughed again and blinked back tears.  “I’m just glad your father didn’t try to teach me sales tactics – because there’s no way I’d ever get in a coffin.  Not even for you.”

“So.  Even though it means you’ll have to eat beets at every family meal.”

“I can handle that.”  She promised with a nod.

“Even though it means you’ll never be able to wear green again without being called a harlot…”

Jane sighed.  “I’d actually be called a whore, Kurt – but it’s OK.   I can deal.”

“Even though my father is convinced our children will possess super-powers capable of saving the world as we know it…”

Jane gazed at him incredulously.  “What are you saying?  You mean – they won’t???”

And there it was.  The reason they were made for each other, because who else would be able to really understand and appreciate their twisted family history. 

Kurt’s voice got soft and serious.  “Fact.  I’ve loved you for almost my entire life.  And I don’t want to live the rest of it with anyone else.”

And with that Jane sniffled, gave his hands a reassuring squeeze and whispered.  “Me either.”

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

2036 

On a sunny day in July, (because her mother was diametrically opposed to June weddings of any kind), in an ivory colored dress (because his mother told her that she wouldn’t be fooling anyone by wearing pure white) with an array of bridesmaids wearing the palest green gowns (because her mother had insisted that there’s no way in hell that lunatic would dictate what color dresses they would wear) by her side, Jane Anne Halpert married Dwight K. Schrute, IV.

And though her new father-in-law had an extremely difficult time locating his car keys after the reception (due to the fact that they mysteriously wound up suspended in red Jell-O as part of the elaborate dessert buffet) they ultimately, most certainly, lived happily ever after.

The End.  :)