She couldn’t take her eyes off her reflection – she was mesmerized, but not in a good way. When a girl dreams of this day, she hoped and prayed to look amazing in this white dress, to feel like a princess on this one special day. All she felt like doing right now was burning the dress.

She knew she looked like death warmed over – she hadn’t slept a wink last night and she knew it wasn’t because of excitement or anticipation of today. Roy had been out getting so drunk that he still reeked of beer this morning when they passed each other coming and going. She was leaving to get her hair done, he was coming to pass out of a few hours and take shower. The women at the salon had mooned over her and a couple of times, she contemplated strangling the hairdresser with the curling iron cord.

She had kicked everyone out about a half hour ago, not being able to stand the chit chat. She could see the tears building in her eyes again and she took a deep breath, doing her best to not ruin the makeup her mother had paid for. She didn’t even tear her eyes away from the mirror when she heard a knock on the door. “Come in” she said quietly.

Ryan poked his head in, smiling at her. “Hi.” She tried to smile, but after a moment, she just quit pretending. “Hey.”

“You look beautiful” he said, noticing that her expression was far from being one of an excited bride.

“What’s up?” she said, trying to pretend that they were at the office instead of standing in a back room at her family’s church.

“I… ummm… I was asked to deliver this.” He held out a small box to her, wrapped in white paper with a beautiful purple bow on top.

She took it from him and fingered the package. “Who…” She didn’t need to finish the question as she looked at him, looking down at his shoes. “Oh.”

“Yeah, he uhh… dropped off at my place last night since he was heading out real early this morning, so… he wanted to make sure that I gave it to you personally, though. That was his only instruction.”

She nodded and slowly unwrapped the bow and paper from around the box. She opened the box and found a beautiful sterling silver jewelry box inside with a small card. She pulled the card out and opened it.

Pam,
In spite of what you may think, I do wish only the best for you. I’m not coming back – got a promotion, so I’ll be in Stamford when I return. I hope you have all the love and happiness you ever wanted. Best wishes on your new life.
Love,
Jim

She pulled out the box and saw he had had it engraved – with her married name. She dropped the box on the floor and clamped her hands over her mouth.

Ryan took a step toward her. “Pam?”

“I’m going to be sick” she said as she turned on her heel and ran to the small bathroom.

+++

Ryan kept bouncing his leg up and down. He looked at his watch for the millionth time in the last five minutes. He had tried to calm Pam down as she lay on the floor in that small bathroom, but he doesn’t think she heard him. The only words she said to him were “get out” and that was about 20 minutes ago. The wedding should have started by now and people were starting to murmur.

“Do you think something’s wrong?” Kelly whispered to him.

“I don’t know, but…” With that, the music started. The bridesmaids made their way down the aisle and the music changed. The wedding march started and the back doors opened, reveling Pam and her dad. As she walked down the aisle, Ryan noticed that she looked scared beyond belief. As she came down the aisle, she locked eyes with him. That’s when she stopped. Her dad took a step forward and looked at her when she didn’t move with him. “Pam?” he said to her, but she stared at Ryan.

Ryan could see it in her eyes. He shook his head slightly, begging her silently, but it was too late. “I can’t do this” she said to him. She dropped her dad’s arm and her bouquet as she turned and ran out of the church.

“Oh my God” he said, dropping his head, as everyone around him started talking.

TBC…

He looked out the window, having stopped the pretend reading hours ago. He did his best to try to forget today, hoping that long flights and airport bars would help, but none of it did. His mind was preoccupied with one thought today – ‘she’s getting married to him’. He didn’t think he could get out of the country fast enough today. So, he found himself sitting in some random waiting area in Los Angeles, waiting for a flight that couldn’t get here fast enough.

He heard his cell phone chirp from inside his pocket. He didn’t know why he turned it on when he got off the flight from Pittsburgh – habit, he guessed. He was surprised it was ringing – anyone that would be calling him should be at her wedding right now. He sat straight up when he saw it was Ryan’s number.

“Ryan?”

“Oh my God, Jim.”

“Ryan, what are you doing? Shouldn’t you be sitting through mind-numbingly boring vows right about now?”

“Well, we should be, except we’re not.” Ryan looked around as everyone was milling outside the church, unsure of what to do. Michael was trying to talk him into Chili’s but Ryan was doing his best to ignore him. The only thing he knew for sure was that Pam was gone. As Pam ran out, her sister let out a loud whoop and followed her out. Kevin had said he saw Pam piling into her sister’s car and they drove away before Roy even got a chance to follow her.

“What do you mean your not?”

“She ran out.”

“Ran out?”

“Yeah. Look, I delivered your present and she… well, she seemed freaked out by the time I got there, but once she read whatever you wrote to her, she… lost it. She collapsed onto the floor of this bathroom at the church. I tried to talking to her, but she was out of it.”

“Oh my God” Jim said, leaning back against the chair, running his fingers through his hair.

“No kidding. So, the wedding started and she got halfway down the aisle when she stopped and announced to the whole church that she couldn’t do this and ran out. Kevin said he saw her and her sister leaving about 10 minutes ago.”

“She couldn’t do what?”

“Get married, since she ditched her wedding.”

He thought, for a moment, that his heart quit beating. ‘She ditched her wedding. She didn’t get married.’ Those few words replayed on a continuous loop in his mind.

“Jim? Jim, what are you going to do?”

“What? I’m… what are you taking about?”

“I’m asking you what you are going to do!”

“Uh… get on my flight?”

“You can’t be serious. Jesus, Jim, she… SHE DIDN’T GET MARRIED!” Ryan realized he was screaming into his cell phone at this point, but he didn’t care.

“Why does that I mean I have to do something?”

“Are you kidding me?!? She… damn it, Jim! She read your note, then she said she couldn’t get married. Yeah, I think you need to do something!”

“I DID SOMETHING!” It was Jim’s turn to scream. Good thing no one seemed to care. “I told her I loved her. I kissed her. She ran from me. She’s the one who quit talking to me. Why do I have to do anything!?! I think she’s the one who should be calling me, not the other way around.”

“Well, God, Jim, it’s not like she had pockets on her wedding dress for a cell phone!”

“Ryan, look, I appreciate you letting me know and everything, but…”

“Don’t go to Sydney.”

“I’ve already paid for my ticket.”

“Tell them a family emergency came up and you have to come back. Eat the money! Just don’t get on the damn plane! You may feel like you don’t want to do anything now, but that might change tomorrow and by then, you’ll be half a world away. Don’t get on the plane.”

“United flight 1542 Los Angeles to Sydney is now beginning pre-boarding at Gate 45A. Anyone traveling with small children and first class passengers, please…” Jim scrubbed his hand over his eyes as he heard his flight being announced.

“Ryan, that’s my flight. I need to go!”

“Jim, don’t! Think about this.”

“Ryan, I have. She… just because she didn’t get married today doesn’t mean she won’t marry him tomorrow or next week or next month. As far as I can tell, nothing’s changed. Look, I’ve got to go. I’ll… I’ll try calling you once I get past the jet lag and everything.”

Jim snapped his phone shut and let out the breath he didn’t realize he had been holding.

“United flight 1542 Los Angeles to Sydney will now be boarding passengers in rows…” Jim stood up and grabbed his carry on bag. He stood next to the line for a moment, staring at the people filing on to the plane.

TBC…

She stretched her arms over her head and opened her eyes slowly. It took her a minute to remember that she wasn’t at home; she wasn’t on her honeymoon (if you can call Roy gambling for a week while she sat around bored in Atlantic City a honeymoon). She was in her sister’s guest bedroom.

She pushed herself up and looked around, noticing her wedding dress in a ball in the corner. At some point, her parents must have brought her suitcase over, because it was sitting near the door. She caught her reflection in the mirror and was horrified. She hadn’t even bothered to wash her face before she collapsed on the bed. She let out a sigh and recoiled in horror at the nastiness was her breath. That’s when she remembered the tequila shots with her sister. She pushed herself out of bed and dug through her suitcase for her toothbrush and shampoo, wanting to take a shower and wash the wedding funk off her body.

+++

She slid the screen to the side and walked outside, dropping into the chaise lounge chair next to her sister.

“Morning.”

“Afternoon” Jamie Beesley said, turning the page in her book, not looking at her sister.

“What?”

Jamie looked up. “I said afternoon.”

“What time is it?”

Jamie looked down at her watch. “About 1:30. I was beginning to wonder if I needed to perform CPR!”

“1:30! What the hell?!? I haven’t slept that late in… forever!”

Jamie dropped her book next to her chair and slipped her sunglasses up into her hair, staring her older sister down. “Question – when was the last time you really… and I mean really… got a good night’s sleep?”

Pam stared at her hands. Normally, she would have lied, but Jamie was the one person who could always see right through her. “Yeah, ok… so it’s been awhile.” Jamie just nodded and looked out over the backyard. They sat in silence for awhile. Pam always appreciated that about her sister – knowing when she needed to talk and when she needed quiet. They had always been like that – only separated by about 18 months.

“What time were Mom and Dad here?”

“About 10.” Jamie knew where this was headed.

“Are they…”

“No, they’re not. I think Dad is relieved and Mom… well, you know Mom, always giving everyone the benefit of the doubt.”

Pam turned and faced her sister. “Look, Jamie, I know you never really cared for Roy…”

Jamie gasped sarcastically and put her hand on her chest. “Who me?!?”

Pam laughed. “Yeah, you, but can we have a moratorium on the Roy bashing, just for today, at least.”

Jamie nodded. “Yeah, I can probably do that.” Pam sighed and looked back out over the yard. Pam had always been jealous of Jamie’s place. Pam kept trying to get Roy into a house, even if it was just a rental, but he refused, complaining about yard work and gutters and paying so much more than they were in the apartment. Jamie, on the other hand, was a paralegal in the biggest law firm in town and didn’t need to rely on anyone else for what she wanted or needed. She loved doing the yard work.

Jamie studied her sister for a moment. “Pam, can I just say… well, you seem… more relaxed. At least more relaxed than I’ve seen you in some time.”

“Strange, isn’t it? I am… I feel like I can breathe for the first time in…God, months!”

“So, what now?”

Pam just shook her head. “I don’t know. I didn’t even think yesterday, I just ran.”

“I noticed. Look, you know you can stay here as long as you want, right? I’m fine with you living here for awhile. I know it’s a drive to the office, but…”

“Thanks, Jamie. I just… yeah, I think that’s a good idea.”

“Ok, well now that you have a place to live, what else?” Pam just shrugged her shoulders. “Can I… I was just wondering… Pam, what about Jim?”

“Jim” Pam said quietly, closing her eyes and dropping her head back against the chair. “I think I may have really messed that up, sis.” Jamie could see the emotions coming over her.

“Ok, look, forget I asked about Jim, at least for now. Bigger fish to fry and what-not. Mom heard from Roy’s mom last night – he’s going to Atlantic City anyway – apparently he and his brother left last night. Why don’t we go over there and get your stuff and go get some food.”

“Oh, that should be fun” Pam groaned, pushing herself off the chair. Jamie smiled. “Well, it’s got to be done. Plus, this way, I get to mess with Roy’s stuff.” Pam just shook her head as they headed inside.

+++

They laughed as Pam pushed the door open. “Jamie, he’s going to be so pissed when he finds that!”

Jamie just shrugged. “Yeah, but it will be at least a week and by that time the place will smell so bad he may just move out instead!”

Pam glanced around the nearly empty restaurant and saw Ryan at the bar, drinking a beer with some friends. Suddenly, it was like tunnel vision. Pam stalked over to him. She tapped him on the shoulder and he glanced at her, swinging around in his chair.

“Hey.”

“Have you talked to him?”

Ryan sighed. “Pam, I…”

“Please, Ryan, I know you have. You talked to him.”

Ryan nodded. “Yeah, I called him after you ran out yesterday. I just… I thought he should know.”

“Where was he?”

“Waiting for his connecting flight in LA.”

“So, I guess he…”

Ryan shook his head. “I don’t know. Pam, I told him not to go, to come back, but he… well, he hung up on me before I got a chance to convince him not to go and I haven’t heard from him since.” Just then, Ryan’s cell phone started to ring. She held her breath as he checked the number.

“Jim?”

“Kelly.” Ryan hit the end button, sending her to voice mail for the third time since he’d met up with his friends. Pam nodded sadly, looking down at her shoes. “He said he’d call me when he got settled, so if you want, I can tell him to call you or…”

“Yeah. I mean, if he wants to. I just wish…”

Ryan just nodded and Pam turned on her heel. Jamie threw her arm over her sister’s shoulder, guiding her toward their table. “Well, looks like we’re going to have to drown in some margaritas aren’t we.” Pam turned and hugged her sister tightly.

“Jamie, I don’t know what I would do without you.”

“Well, then, it’s a good thing I’m here. We’ll get this figured out, Pammy, I promise. But I can’t think on an empty stomach, so we need food. Greasy, fattening, so not good for us food followed up by some double chocolate chip ice cream and girly movies!”

Pam wiped her tears and sat down, opening the menu, doing her best to not think about him and where he was.

TBC…

Jim sat down on the bench and pulled out his cell phone, looking at the time. He quickly calculated the time difference in his head and scrolled through the phone, finding Ryan’s number.

“It’s about fucking time!” Ryan yelled into the phone.

“Well, hello to you too, Ryan.”

“Damn, Jim, what the hell, it’s been three days!”

“I’m sorry Mom, did I miss curfew again?”

“Where in God’s name are you?”

Jim looked out at the ocean. “LA.”

“You didn’t go!”

“No, I didn’t go.”

“So, wait… why are you still in LA?”

“Because, I may have decided to trek across the world, but I still needed some distance. I managed to convince the airline to refund the LA to Sydney part of my ticket, so I’m bumming around LA for now.”

“When are you coming back?”

“Ryan, I’m not. I’ve got the job in Stamford!” Ryan sighed and shook his head, wishing he could bean Jim with his cell phone right now.

“How is she?” Jim asked, dropping his gaze to the ground.

“Well, she’s been better, but she doesn’t seem as… weighed down anymore. Oscar and I have been trying to keep an eye on her. The warehouse guys have been giving her a hard time the last few days, so we’ll wait for her to get there and walk her out. She’s living with her sister for now.”

“That’s good” he said, wanting nothing more than to blow up the warehouse right now.

“She’s been asking about you. Can I tell her you didn’t go to Sydney?”

“Yeah.”

“Can I tell her you are going to call her?”

“No.”

“Jim, c’mon. I think if she could just…”

“No, Ryan. Tell her where I am and that I’m fine, but don’t tell her I’m going to call or to call me. I still need some time.”

“Alright, man. If you’re sure.”

“I’m sure.”

“Will you at least let me know when you are coming back to this side of the country?”

“Yeah, I can do that.”

“Alright. Have a good time.”

“Thanks for keeping an eye on her, Ryan. If anything big happens, call me.”

“Yeah. Talk to you later.” Ryan snapped his phone shut and walked back into the office. Pam stared at him with wide eyes. He rested his elbows on her desk and sighed. “He’s in LA.”

“Oh… well, that’s good.”

“Yeah.”

“Did he say… anything else?”

“Just that he’d let me know when he’s on his way back to this side of the country.” He could see the hurt in her eyes. “Sorry, Pam.”

She shook her eyes, praying that the tears wouldn’t fall. “Not your fault, Ryan.” He pushed himself off her desk as she turned her eyes back to her computer screen, concentrating more on keeping the tears from falling than on her game of solitaire.

TBC…

She glanced up at the clock again, praying that it would move faster. This had been the longest week of her life and, now that it was Friday, it couldn’t be over fast enough. It wasn’t even 11:30 yet, but she needed some space, some air. She pushed herself out of her chair and walked into the break room. She felt like the walls were closing in her as she pulled her lunch out of the fridge. She knew if she didn’t get out of here, she was going to lose it. She turned on her heel and stalked through the office, out the door and down the steps. She got outside and collapsed on the top step, letting out the breath she had been holding. She dug into her bag, trying to ignore how bad her heart seemed to be hurting today.

She wasn’t really hungry but Jamie had forced her to bring the sandwich with her today. She took two bites and threw it down, feeling nauseous. She buried her face in her hands. “Get a hold of yourself Beesley” she said.

“Had to resort to talking to yourself now?” She froze as she heard his voice. She hadn’t seen him in a week and she knew that it was just a matter of time before they ran into each other, before they had to have it out, but she didn’t know if she could deal with him today.

She pulled her head out of her hands and looked up at him. “Hi Roy.”

“Hmm, that’s interesting. Glad to see you still remember who I am?” He was a lot madder than she thought he was going to be.

“That’s not fair, Roy.”

“I mean, really, nothing like being completely humiliated in front of everyone I know, but hey, as long as you got what you wanted, that’s all that really matters, right?”

“I’m sorry.”

“Well, that makes it all better.”

“Roy, it would have been a mistake. You can’t honestly stand there and tell me that you would have been happy getting married, living this life…”

“Well, I happen to like my life, Pam. Sorry it wasn’t good enough for you, but I’m happy with who I am and where I am.”

“Well, I’m not, and that’s the problem.”

He laughed at her. “Right! No offense, Pam, but what… you think you can find something better?”

She looked over his shoulder to the empty parking spot next to her car where he usually parked. “There might be.”

“Then you should have said something before I was standing up in front of God and the whole damn town watching you run away from me!” He noticed that she was staring over his shoulder. He glanced over and noticed the empty parking spot. He thought for a moment about who usually parks there and he started to laugh. He turned back to her and laughed harder.

“Jesus, Pam… what, too lazy to get out and meet someone that you’ll just jump from guy to guy in the office till you think you found the right one?” Her eyes got wide as she looked at him.

“Roy, that’s a little uncalled for, don’t you think?”

“No, not really. Come on, Pam… he ran from you like you ran from me. Regardless of what you think, I’m not stupid. I know that you and Halpert had something else going on.”

“Roy, I never cheated on you.”

“Oh, I know that. You aren’t that brave, now are you?” She was willing the tears not to fall. The last thing she wanted was for Roy to see her crying on the front steps of the office.

Roy shrugged his shoulders at her. “Face it, Pam. Halpert gets girls like Katy… Lord knows why, but he does. He’s not going to want you, why would he? Guys want a girl who knows what she wants, not someone who’s going to make a fool out of them the first chance she gets.” She looked down at her hands as the tears fell. “Well, I guess I’ll see you around Pam.” She heard him walk away and let out a sob when she couldn’t hear his footsteps anymore.

+++

She walked back into the office and looked around, watching everyone work. She could hear the phone ringing, but she didn’t move to get it.

Dwight looked over at her. “Pam, you need to get the phone.” She looked at the blinking lights on the main phone on her desk, but she still didn’t move. Ryan looked up and saw her, standing there frozen. He pushed himself up and looked over at Oscar, who had already noticed her.

She didn’t see them staring at her. She was barely conscious at this point, realizing that she was looking at the rest of her life if she didn’t do something. She saw someone put some papers in front of her face. She looked over at Michael. “Pam, I need you to fax these to corporate a sap!” She just stared at him. She looked over her shoulder as Michael turned toward the door. A man walked in.

“Hello, I’m looking for Michael Scott. I’m Adam Reynolds… I’m your new sales man.” She watched Michael shake his hand and lead him over to Jim’s desk. As he sat down in the chair and pulled some pictures out of his briefcase, she wanted to beat on him, telling him he couldn’t have that desk, that it was Jim’s.

Michael shook her shoulder. “Pam, the phone’s ringing.”

She looked at him and glared, breaking out of her trance, realizing what she needed to do. “I quit” she said. She turned on her heel and grabbed her purse off the desk and was out the door before anyone had a chance to respond.

TBC…

Ryan looked up as the carousel beeped to life. He watched as the first bags came through the wall and sighed, wondering what would happen now.

“Thanks for picking me up.” Ryan turned as he heard Jim behind him.

“No problem. I better have a good present.” Jim just smiled and shook his head. They stood their in an awkward silence, not talking about the gigantic purple elephant that was standing with them. Jim grabbed his bag and they headed to the parking garage. Jim dropped his bag into Ryan’s trunk and got in the front seat. Ryan turned the ignition and looked over at Jim.

“Look, Jim, I need to tell you that…”

Jim held up his hand. “No, not yet. I’m starving, so I need food and at least 2 beers before you can ask me about anything other than LA.”

“But Jim, I really need to tell you that…”

“Not interested in anything but where to eat right now!” Ryan just shook his head and backed out of the parking spot. “Fine, where would you like to eat?”

+++

It had been two hours and Ryan was over it. He had been trying to tell Jim about Pam since they sat down, but it was like Michael had a tracker on his car or something. They hadn’t been there 15 minutes before the whole damn office strolled in on this Saturday night. Ryan had tried, Oscar had tried, even Angela had tried, but Jim was having none of it. “I just want to have a good time and drink some beers with some friends. I’m still on vacation. I’ll deal with everything else tomorrow!” After the sixth time he said it, people quit trying. “Let him find out for his damn self” Oscar said to him, and Ryan couldn’t help but agree.

She noticed the large group as soon as they had walked in. She immediately spotted him and couldn’t help but stare. She knew who he was immediately, even though she had only seen pictures of him. She couldn’t help herself – she got madder and madder standing there, watching him drinking beers and laughing while she could barely get her sister out of the house. She had tried and begged and pleaded for her to come out tonight, but Pam had refused. “They are your friends and I’ll be a downer. Go have a good time. I’m going to eat ice cream and watch Lifetime till I fall asleep.”

Jamie wanted to beat the crap out of him as he stood their flirting with some barely legal waitress. She watched as she sat down at his table. She watched as he talked to his friends. She watched him until he was alone and she could see something wash over his face – a look that she would have sworn was sadness. He glanced around like he was looking for someone when she caught his eye.

He glanced over his shoulder to see if she was looking at someone behind him. He turned back around and smiled at her. She knew that, normally, a smile from a good looking guy would have had her smiling and waving back, but he was different and he needed to know.

“I’ll be back” she whispered to her friend. She moved around the tables and people and dropped into a chair directly across from him.

“Hi” Jim said. His smile quickly disappeared as she continued to scowl at him. “I’m sorry, but… do I know you? You’re looking at me like I kicked your puppy.”

“Something like that” she spit out at him. His eyes got wide and he put his beer down, crossing his arms over his chest. “Oh, I’m sorry, how rude of me! I should have introduced myself.” She stuck her hand out across the table. “Jamie Beesley.”

He leaned over and shook her hand. “Nice to meet you Jamie Bee…” He froze, realizing who she was.

She pulled her hand back and leaned back against the chair. “There it is.”

“Beesley? You wouldn’t happen to be…”

“Pam’s sister? Yeah, I am. You and I need to have a chat, Mr. Halpert.”

TBC…

Jim took a long, slow sip of his beer, gathering his thoughts as Jamie Beesley continued to stare him down. He slowly sat the bottle on the table and stared at her.

“How’s Pam doing?”

Jamie laughed loudly, scoffing at him. “Oh, that’s rich, Jim. How big of you to ask!?!” He just stared at her, not sure of what he should say. So, he just waited.

“Pam... how’s Pam doing? Well, let’s see… she feels like she the laughing stock of the town, Roy’s been nothing but a gigantic ass to her, she barely smiles and laughs anymore and… oh yeah, she’s unemployed, so I would say that she’s…”

Jim leaned forward. “Wait, wait, wait. What do you mean unemployed?”

Jamie shrugged at him. “She quit her job.”

Jim looked over his shoulder. “RYAN!!” he screamed. Ryan came over and stood next to the table, looking at Jamie. “Hey Jamie.”

“Hey Ryan.”

“You two know each other?” Jim asked, looking back and forth between the two of them. Jamie glared at him. “Yeah considering Ryan is one of the few people Pam will talk to these days” she said, putting the emphasis on Ryan’s name.

Jim looked up at Ryan. “Why didn’t you tell me Pam quit?”

“Well, Jim, as you put it so eloquently ‘I’m still on vacation. I’ll deal with the other stuff tomorrrow’.” Ryan sighed disgustedly and stalked back to the bar.

“You seem to be real popular these days” Jamie said, smirking at him.

“OK, Jamie, I get that your mad at me and everything, but will you please just tell me what happened, why Pam quit?”

“She was miserable, she had been for a long time, before… well, before that casino night, anyway. She hadn’t seen Roy since the non-wedding until Thursday. He said some nasty things to her about her and you and not being good enough. Apparently, she went back upstairs and… well, I guess she couldn’t take it anymore. I guess the proverbial straw was your replacement showing up and sitting down at your old desk. She just up and left and hasn’t been back.”

Jim dropped his hand down. “What did Roy say to her?”

“Why? All of a sudden you give a shit? Kiss my ass, Jim. My sister is…”

“Wonderful!” he screamed at her. “Pam is so much better than Roy ever gave her credit for. She deserves the life she wants. She shouldn’t ever have to settle for anything – not a job, not a husband, not a life, nothing! I mean, I could just…” Jamie watched as his face flushed and he wrung his hands together. ‘Well, well, well’ she thought to herself. “I could just kill that son of a bitch for making her feel bad about herself, for ever making her feel that way. Pam is… spectacular, more than… well, more than I deserve, at least, and definitely more than Roy deserves.”

“Huh” Jamie said, the anger washing off her face.

“What?”

Jamie smiled at him. “Let me let you in on a little Beesley family secret – no one liked Roy. My mother tolerated him because… well, that’s just how she is. Dad would hide and avoid Roy like the plague and well… let’s just say that Roy and I fought in high school and nothing has changed in 10 years. He had no use for me, I made sure that everyone saw him for the waste of space that he was and still is. No real love lost there.”

He just shook his head. “Why are you telling me this?”

“My sister, God love her, as always had this thing for, what I like to call, the ‘pricks’. Guys at school, in movies, guys we see out – she, for some reason, always has a soft spot for the cute guys who are completely self involved. I guess I just figured that you were going to be like that and… well, you’re not. I’m surprised.”

Jim sighed. “Pam deserves better than that type of guy.”

Jamie got up and moved around the table, dropping into the chair next to him. She leaned forward and rested her elbows on her knees. “I’m worried about her, Jim. She’s reverting into herself. She’s not our Pam, not anymore. She seems lost, like she doesn’t know which way to turn now. She needs someone.”

“And you think I’m that someone?”

“I do” Jamie said, grabbing her purse from across the table. She pulled out a pen and grabbed a napkin off the table and started scribbling on it. Jim watched as she pulled her keys out of her purse and quickly removed one of them, wrapping the napkin around it. She turned back to him and grabbed his hand, putting the napkin and key in his palm. She folded his fingers around it and squeezed his hand.

“My sister needs to be fixed, quickly. That’s your job.” Jim unfolded the napkin and saw an address written on it. “That’s my address and the key to my front door.” Jim looked up at her and he knew, in that moment, what he needed to do. He nodded at her and jumped up from his chair. He scurried around the tables and people and grabbed one of the hostesses. “I need you to call me a cab.”

TBC…

He had been standing there for 10 minutes, at least, staring at the front door, playing with the key in his hand, replaying that night over and over again.

He meant to tell her about Stamford, about the transfer and the promotion, but she kept going on and on about taking his money and smiling and looking so beautiful that it was out of his mouth before he could stop himself.

“I’m in love with you.” He could tell she was shocked, frozen in her spot. “What?”

“I’m sorry if that’s weird for you to hear, but I needed you to know that. It’s probably not good timing, I know that…”

“What are you doing? What do you expect me to say to that?” Her words cut through him, right to his heart, and it hurt a little more than he thought it would.

“I just needed you to know… once.” He knew that was the truth – that if he was leaving and she was going to go through with that marriage that she should know how he really felt. He felt his heart break little by little as she stuttered around her ‘I can’t’ and how she talked about how much she needed him as a friend, but he was tired of settling. He wanted more than that, deserved more than that, and he let her know. She tried to take the blame, but he didn’t want her to do anything that might make her feel better, not right now.

“I’m sorry that I misinterpreted our friendship.” And for the first time ever, he walked away from her without saying another word or giving her a smile. He went back inside and drained a couple more beers, hoping the alcohol would make the pain go away, but it didn’t. He went upstairs to get his keys so that he could leave, but there she was, talking on his phone. He didn’t mean to eavesdrop on her conversation, but he couldn’t take his eyes off of her.

“About 10 minutes ago.” He closed his eyes, wondering who she was telling the story to.

“No, I didn’t know what to say… Yes, I know… I don’t know, Mom, he’s my best friend…Yeah, he’s great… Yeah, I think I am.” He opened his eyes and pushed himself off the wall, wondering what those last four words meant.

He shoved his hands in his pockets and walked in. She stiffened and whipped around. “I have to go… I will.” She turned back to him and he could her eyes glistening with unshed tears. He hated that he did that to her, but she needed to know and he needed her to know. He also needed, just once… “Jim, listen…”

He wasn’t interested in words, not anymore. Actions spoke so much louder. He could learn so much more through one simple action, so he ripped his hands from his pockets and pulled her into him, pressing his lips to hers. For a moment, he thought that he had been wrong, until she ran her hands into his hair. He knew, then, that he was right, that he hadn’t misinterpreted anything.

She pushed against his chest and he stepped back, looking down at her. “Jim, listen…”

“You kissed me back.” She stared at him. “What?”

“You kissed me back. I knew I wasn’t wrong.”

“Jim, I told you, I can’t.”

“Yeah, but you kissed me back.”

“That was a mistake.”

“No, it wasn’t.”

“Jim, it really was. I shouldn’t have…”

“But you did. That’s got to mean something.”

She pushed hard against his chest, forcing him away from her. She glared at him. “It didn’t mean anything. It was a mistake, one that will not happen again.” She grabbed her purse off his desk and stormed out of the office.

He brooded all weekend and by Monday morning, he was pissed. He didn’t even look at her when he walked in. She transferred his calls without saying a word. He ate his lunch with Ryan and Kevin and she barely talked to anyone at all. By the end of the week, he was glad that his trip was in two weeks. He needed to get out, to have a break, to not be there anymore. He put in his notice with Michael and didn’t even glance over at her when Michael told everyone he was leaving. She called in his last day before his trip and he was actually glad she wasn’t around.

He looked at the door one last time before putting one foot in front of the other. He quietly put the key in the lock and turned it, opening the door. He shut it and made his way through the house. He was about to turn down the hallway, thinking that she might be asleep, when he saw her sitting outside. She had turned the chaise lounge so that he could see the side of her face. He walked into the kitchen and stopped. He could only watch as she sipped a glass of wine and wiped the tears from her face. It broke his heart to see her cry, it always had. The day that Roy had talked her out of the internship was the day Ryan had to talk him out of trying to beat the crap out of Roy in the parking lot.

He watched as she dropped her head. He took a step and saw the tears falling freely down her face and onto her shirt. He couldn’t stand it anymore. He slid the back door open.

Pam heard the door and her head shot up. She wiped her face as best she could with her hand. “Wow, Jamie, I didn’t think you would be back so…” she froze as she looked over her shoulder. She looked him up and down.

“You’re not Jamie.”

“No, I’m not” Jim said, shoving his hands in his pockets.

“What are you doing here?”

TBC…

She pushed herself out of the chair, staring at him. “I asked you what you are doing here.” He just looked at her. He could see the sadness on her face and he hated that she felt that way. He just wanted her to smile.

“Thought we could check out the Scrantonicity tape again.” He ducked as she threw her wine glass at him, causing it to shatter against the wall.

“NO WAY!! You don’t get to… to do what you did and then show up here, cracking jokes like nothing is wrong. It’s all wrong and it’s your fault!” She knew her face was bright red and that she was probably waking up the neighbors, but she didn’t care at this point.

Jim squared his shoulders and glared at her. “Excuse me, my fault?”

She nodded. “Yes, your fault. I had to cancel the wedding and that’s your fault.”

Jim laughed. “Yeah, Pam, last time I checked, you were a big girl.”

She could feel the anger coming to a boil. “So, what… you just get to… do what you did but you don’t think you should have to take any of the responsibility for the aftermath?”

Jim took a step toward her. “You can say the word Pam. We kissed… we being the important word there. I wasn’t alone in that kiss. You responded in kind, so don’t try to lay all this on me!”

She took a step toward him, poking him in the chest. “Why the hell shouldn’t I? You screw things up and then run away to Stamford without even…”

“Good God, Pam, what the hell did you expect me to do? Stick around and play Uncle Jim to your kids?”

“I NEEDED YOU TO FIGHT FOR ME!” she screamed at the top of her lungs. Jim froze, eyes wide, staring at her. Pam continued to advance on him, poking him with her fingers, screaming at him. “HOW DARE YOU! You just up and leave me after kissing me like that, after making me think that…” He could see the tears building in her eyes. “You weren’t here when I needed you! You can’t just… you can’t just make me feel like that then disappear from my life. How dare you show me what its like to be loved, to able to breathe freely and then leave me alone!”

His back hit the wall and he was itching to touch her. “Pam…”

Hearing him say her name broke something inside of her. The tears streamed down her face and she started breathing heavily. “You… you can’t… you can’t just leave me like that. You don’t… you can’t… you don’t just up and leave someone you claim to love because it’s not fair when they love you back and your not there!” He can’t do anything but watch her sob and struggle for breathe as he processes her words. When he finally realizes what she is saying, he grabs her face in his hands, forcing her eyes to his. “You love me?” he asked quietly.

She tried to pull away from him, but he wouldn’t let her. “Pam…”

Her eyes met his and he could see anger and sadness in her eyes. “I… I don’t know, Jim. You were gone and I’ve been here, lost, broken hearted, hurt and sad. These feelings, how I’ve been feeling the last week… it’s why… why I didn’t want to love you. I knew that if I gave in to those feelings that you would have the power to destroy me!”

He shook his head, wiping her tears off her face with his thumbs. “Pam, I would never…”

“But you did!” She ripped her face from his hands and covered her face with her own hands, sobbing uncontrollably into her palms. He watched her shake and cry. He needed to do something. He needed to show her that she wasn’t alone, that he only wanted her to be happy. Every sob she made cracked his heart a little more and he needed to make her stop, to make her see that…

“You’re not alone, Pam” he said as he pulled her hands off of her face and dragged her to him, assaulting her lips with his own.

TBC…

His back crashed against the wall of the house as she threw herself at him, wrapping her arms around his neck. Their tongues dueled with each other as he leaned back, pulling her flush to his body. He ripped his lips from hers and trailed his tongue lightly down her throat until he reached her collarbone.

“Jim” she purred as he kissed placed hot open-mouthed kisses along her collarbone and at the base of her neck. He felt moisture on his face and he realized that she was crying. He pulled back and looked at her as tears fell down her face.

He cupped her cheeks in his hands. “Pam, what’s…” She quickly covered his mouth with her hand. “I’m in love with you” she said quietly, locking eyes with him. “I’m sorry if that’s weird for you to hear, but I needed you to know… once.” She smiled brightly at him as she trailed her hand down his throat and chest till it came to rest on his hip.

He laughed and closed his eyes, leaning his forehead against hers. “Say it again” he whispered.

“I’m in love with you” she whispered back. He opened his eyes and leaned in to kiss her, but she had pulled out of his grip before he had a chance. She slid the door open and motioned for him to go inside. He walked in and grabbed her around the waist as she closed the door. He walked them backwards and lifted her up, sitting her on the counter.

She was thankful that she was sitting as he kissed her again. This kiss was different than the last two – not as frantic and desperate. He slowly kissed her, this time, taking his time, learning about her. She shuddered as he ran his hands slowly up her legs to the hem of her shorts. She pulled him closer, running her hands down his chest to the hem of his shirt. As she ran her hands along his waist under his shirt, he growled and pulled her closer, wrapping her legs around his waist, splaying his hand on the small of her back under her shirt.

They were lost to each other at that point. They devoured each other. Pam quickly undid the buttons on his shirt and ran her hands over his chest, relishing in how the muscles contracted under her touch. Jim groaned as she dug her nails in lightly into the muscles and he tore his lips from her, pulling her shirt over her head. Pam sighed loudly as their first skin on skin contact occurred. Her nerves were on fire. She had never felt like this before and she knew that she needed him.

“First door on the right” she whispered in his ear. He paused for a moment, looking at her as she smiled. He finally caught on and returned her smile. “Hold on” he whispered back, picking her up off the counter. She kissed his neck as they walked down the hallway. She giggled as they fell back onto the bed, but the laughter soon turned into moans and cries of passion.

She surrounded him, he discovered quickly. It was as if she had permeated his sense, his brain, and he was fine with that. As they moved as a fluid unit, he watched her. He watched her skin flush as he kissed her stomach, her chest, her neck. He took pleasure in her touch – loving that she needed to hold on to him as if she would fall off the world if he wasn’t there with her. He smiled as she groaned his name as he kissed her breasts, as he touched her, as he moved on top of her. He held on as long as he could, wanting to keep her in this state of passion and love, to hear his name come off her lips for as long as possible, but as she begged for him and locked eyes with him, saying that she loved him over and over again, he lost himself completely to her.

They held each other until their breathing had come back to normal. They talked and laughed until they fell asleep, wrapped around each other and in a tangle in the blankets.

TBC…

He rolled over and slowly opened his eyes, a smile breaking out on his face. Seeing Pam sleeping next to him was possibly the best thing he had ever seen in his life. He looked over at the clock – 9:30. He pressed a kiss to her temple and rolled out of bed. He grabbed his boxers off the floor and headed to the bathroom.

He looked at himself in the mirror, smiling. Good thing he didn’t mind brushing his teeth with his finger and some toothpaste – Lord knows he didn’t want to greet Pam with horrendous morning breath. He opened the door and took a step out into the hallway.

“You need this?”

“SHIT!” He yelled, falling back into the wall. Jamie just smiled. “Morning sunshine.”

“You just scared the crap out of me.”

“Well, then, don’t sneak around the damn place like my parents are going to catch you. We’re all adults here.” He looked at her feet, noticing the black suitcase.

“Is that mine?”

“Yeah, I grabbed it from Ryan’s car last night. Thought you might need it this morning.” Jim reached over and grabbed the handle.

Jamie looked toward the closed door. “So, are things…”

Jim just smiled. “Things are fine. We fought, we talked, we…”

Jamie’s hands flew up and over her ears. “I don’t need to know!” she shouted. Jim just laughed. He leaned in and gave her a light kiss on the cheek. “Thanks for making me come here.”

“Well, if you brought my sister back, no thanks is needed. If not, I’ll kick your ass.”

“I’ve got like a foot on you!”

“Is that a challenge, Jim?”

He shook his head. “Not at all. Nope, not a challenge in the slightest.”

Jamie nodded. “Good! Now, I think someone is waiting for you! See you later.” Jamie patted him on the shoulder and shut the bathroom door.

Jim slipped back into Pam’s room and shut the door.

“Were you and Jamie fighting?” Jim smiled as she opened one sleepy eye.

“Nah, she was just threatening to kick my ass.”

“OK, so it’s a normal morning. Good to know.” Jim slipped into bed and Pam turned over, curling up next to him, head resting on his shoulder.

“So, you and my sister have an interesting conversation?”

“Well, she brought me my bag from Ryan’s car…”

Pam slapped her forehead. “THAT’s how you got in the house last night! You ran into Jamie out.” Jim just nodded. “We’ll have to thank her later” she whispered, kissing her way up his neck.

“Well, if you plan on thanking her this way, mind if I watch?” Pam giggled and crawled on top of Jim. “Depends on how good you are this morning.”

Jim pushed himself up into a sitting position, pulling Pam flush to his chest. “Well, let’s just see if I can meet your standards.”

+++

They finally got out of bed when Jamie pounded on the door at 1 that afternoon. The three of them hung out at the house for the rest of day, drinking and eating and laughing.

As the sun was setting, Pam walked back outside with beers for the three of them as Jamie pulled back out of a hug with Jim. Pam watched as she wiped her eyes and looked over at her. Jamie walked toward her and pulled her in for a fierce hug. “I love you Pammy, you know that right?”

Pam just smiled. “I love you too, James! What’s up with you?”

Jamie took a step back and wiped her eyes again. “Nothing. I’m just… I guess I’m just glad your back.” Pam just nodded. “Me too.” Jamie started to laugh. “OK, enough of the mush. I’ve got to pee.”

Pam just shook her head and handed Jim his beer, dropping into the lounge chair with him. They sat in silence for a few minutes, drinking their beer. Jim noticed that Pam’s face had changed, that her expression was different.

“Spit it out, Pam” he said, placing his beer on the ground.

“How did you know…”

“I spent years watching you. I know your expressions and this one… well, I know means you are thinking about something. So, spit it out!”

Pam turned toward him. “I want to go with you.” It wasn’t much more than a whisper and if Jim hadn’t been paying attention, he wouldn’t have heard her.

“Go with me? Where?”

“To Stamford. I’m assuming you start your new job on Monday, right?”

“Well, yeah, but…” He just looked at her. “Wait, you want to come with me, as in…” Pam just nodded. “Yeah. I haven’t felt like myself in a really long time, until last night, when you showed up here and made me scream and yell and cry and give in to how I felt. I don’t… I can’t lose that again.”

“Pam, I’m not going anywhere.”

“Yes, you are and I don’t want to be two hours away from you, not now, not ever. Please – I’ll get my own place, or something, but I just…”

He silenced her with a scorching kiss. She moaned as his tongue dueled with hers. She threw her leg over his lap and straddled him, kissing him for all she was worth.

“GET A ROOM!” They broke apart and Pam looked up at her sister, who was smiling at them for the doorway. “Jamie, I’m moving to Stamford.”

Jamie walked onto the patio. “Well, duh Pam! I figured as much.”

“No, I mean now.”

Jamie just shrugged. “Yeah, and?”

Pam just laughed. “Leave it to you to take all the fun out of this for me.”

“Oh sis, I’d imagine you’ll be having plenty of fun later on.”

“JAMIE!!”

“What, we’re all adults here.” Jim was laughing hysterically. Pam frowned at him. “Stop encouraging her.”

“Come on, you two. I’m craving Mexican. Let’s go eat.” Jim dropped a kiss on Pam’s nose and lifted her off his lap. He laced his fingers through Pam and threw his other arm over Jamie’s shoulder. “My treat.”

“No kidding” Jamie shot back at him, smiling.

THE END