The dishes could have waited. Nearly everyone who walked into the breakroom had told her that. It’s Friday evening Pam, go home. The dishes will still be here Monday. Don’t you want to get home before the storm hits?

Well, the storm had already hit and sure, the dishes would still have been there on Monday but the last thing Pam wanted to do at nine am Monday morning was try to scrub margarita residue off of the break room tables.

It didn’t go unnoticed either, as Pam plunged her hands back into the tepid water and glanced over her shoulder at her coworkers slipping out the door one by one, that no one had offered to stay and help; which would have gotten her out of there even faster.

Sure, some of them had reasons. Meredith could barely stand, so they’d gotten her into a taxi before the roads got any worse. Phyllis rode to work with Bob and had to leave when he did. Angela needed to get home to her cats.

Dwight was up on the roof waiting for a helicopter.

She bit the inside of her cheek, smiling as she remembered how for exactly eight minutes and thirteen seconds, the amount of time it took them to come up with a reason and the specifics of how to get Dwight up on the roof, it had seemed like old times between her and Jim.

Old times; it was such a stupid phrase. They were too young to have old times together, especially since they never should have stopped having any times in the first place. But that was her fault. Maybe if she hadn’t been such an idiot last spring, things wouldn’t be so fucked up now.

Pam sighed. This was why she tried not to drink vodka; it made her sad and whiny. She looked back into the bullpen to see if anyone else was still around, just in time to see Karen pulling Jim under the one doorway that still had mistletoe hanging from it.

She spun back around and stared at the wall. Well, that was new. She’d never seen the two of them kissing before. The way they normally acted in the office, it was easy to forget they were even dating, unless you were the kind of person who thought about the fact that they were dating for way more hours in a day than was considered healthy. And the more she thought about it now, the more Pam wondered if she’d ever seen Jim kiss anyone else like that in the entire time she’d known him. If this was what it was like for him every time he had seen her with Roy over the years, well, she felt like an even bigger asshole about the whole thing.

A quick glance behind her showed that they were still kissing and her embarrassment prickled into something that felt a lot like irritation. Why were they even still here anyways? Karen had made it pretty clear she’d been ready to leave the minute she’d seen Jim laughing over Pam’s shoulder as they’d texted Dwight about the top secret ice cream social.

Karen. Pam sighed and emptied the water out of the sink. She hadn’t woken up that morning determined to become friends with Karen but then Angela had acted like, well Angela and it wasn’t like Pam had much choice in the matter.

It hadn’t been the worst thing in the world, spending the day hanging out with the woman who was now dating the guy she probably maybe was in love with. And they’d worked really well together and everyone had had a great time at the party so in that aspect, it had been a good day. Things had only gone sour when she and Jim had been working out the finer details of Dwight’s CIA recruitment and Karen had stepped in, pulling Jim away with the claim that she needed his help getting some decorations down so that they could get on with their evening. The look she’d given Pam over her shoulder as they headed for the breakroom had been just cold enough that Pam had to wonder if she was wrong in assuming that Karen knew nothing about what had happened in May. If she didn’t know anything, she clearly suspected something.

“Hey.”

Pam jumped, almost dropping the stack of plates in her hands. Jim rushed forward to catch them and put them away in the open cabinet.

“Sorry about that.” He jerked his head toward the door. “So, are you about done here? We’re getting ready to leave, but I don’t want you to be stuck here alone.”

“Oh.” She shook her head. “I just have a few more things to do, but go ahead. I can lock up on my own. It’s no problem.”

“Yeah, see.” Jim ran his hand through his hair and looked behind him. Karen was far enough away that she couldn’t hear them. “The thing is, the weather is getting really bad out there and I’d like to at least make sure you get out of here okay.”

“That’s really not necessary. I’ve driven home in a snowstorm before, Jim. I’ll be okay.”

“Pam.” He sounded annoyed and she wondered what exactly he was annoyed with. “Would you just look outside? It’s time to go.”

Okay, so it had gotten a lot darker in the last twenty minutes and the snow was falling a lot harder than it had been. As much as she didn’t want to give Jim the satisfaction, she really didn’t want to get stuck in a snowbank either.

“Fine.” She wiped her hands on a dishtowel and turned the kitchen lights off before following Jim out to her desk. She was pulling her coat on, careful to avoid eye contact as Karen made a show of buttoning up Jim’s coat in what she probably thought was a great girlfriend move but reminded Pam more of a mom with a struggling toddler.

“Okay, everyone ready?” Jim asked, grabbing a box of Karen’s things off of the counter. He turned too quickly toward the door and one of the items slid off the top and fell to the floor.

Before she could think about it or stop herself, Pam took a step back, her left heel coming down hard on the slim plastic case with a satisfying crack, puncturing it before cracking the DVD in two.

“I’m so sorry,” she gasped, reaching down to grab the case. She turned it over in her hands. “I’m such a klutz.” She made a face at the cover; Hugh Grant’s face now had hole through it. “Karen, I’ll get you a new copy.”

Right, that’s why she didn’t drink vodka. It also made her mean.

“Don’t worry about it.” Karen’s voice was cool as she looked down at the DVD and then set it back in the box Jim still held. “It was just a silly little gift.” She tucked her hand through Jim’s arm and squeezed lightly. “We should get going. I’ve got big plans for us tonight.”

The elevator took forever to reach their floor, but as soon as they stepped inside, Pam wished she’d taken the stairs instead.

“Pam, do you have any plans for the weekend?” Karen’s voice was even louder in the steel prison they were trapped in.

Besides drinking wine and watching White Christmas six times in a row? Pam shook her head. “Not really, just going to hang around the house I think. Wait out the storm and all that. How about you guys?”

“You shouldn’t stay home all weekend,” Karen argued. “Hey you know what you should do? Call up that warehouse guy, see if you can get him to take you to dinner or something.”

Jim turned to face Pam completely. “Warehouse guy? What warehouse guy?”

“Oh.” Pam smiled thinly. “Karen saw Roy talking to me earlier and she thinks I should go out with him.” She had to turn away so she didn’t laugh at the look he was giving her.

“Right.” Jim coughed. “Now that sounds like a great time. Roy. You should do that.” He was trying hard not to laugh but failed miserably.

Karen looked between the two of them. “What? Am I missing something?”

Pam shook her head as the elevator doors finally opened. “It’s nothing, I didn’t say anything earlier because I didn’t want to get into it but Roy and I dated for like, ten years. We broke up over the summer.”

“They were engaged,” Jim corrected her. “What?” he asked as she reached out and punched his arm. “You were.”

“Thanks Jim.” She shrugged. “Yeah, it’s weird, sorry I didn’t say anything.” She stopped in front of her car. “Anyways, you guys have a great weekend. See you Monday.” Pam waved at the two of them and got into her car before any more could be said. She just wanted to go home.

She should have been more surprised when her car didn’t start. Each turn of the key resulted in nothing more than a clicking noise. Perfect. This was just great.

Jim tapped his knuckles on her window and she sighed, opening the door. “Everything okay?” he asked.

“It won’t start,” she said, turning the key to prove her point. Jim gestured for her to get out of the car and they exchanged spots. She rolled her eyes when he mimicked her actions, trying to start the car. “Oh, you turn the key,” she said sarcastically.” Is that what I was doing wrong?”

“I was just checking.” He tried it twice more but the car didn’t make a sound. “Your battery is dead. Stupid question but did you leave your lights on again this morning?”

“No.” Maybe. Even if she had, Pam wasn’t going to admit that to him. “Whatever, I’ll just call a cab. You guys go on.”

“No way, I’ll drive you home.” Both Pam and Karen protested at that.

“You don’t have to, I’ll be fine. I’ll wait inside and everything.”

“Jim, she said she’d be fine; come on, we still need to go to my hotel before going back to your place for the night.”

“It’s rush hour on a Friday night in the middle of a snowstorm. You won’t get a cab for at least an hour, if at all. I’m taking you home. Karen, your hotel is only a couple of blocks from here, why don’t you go get your things together while I drive Pam home. It’ll only take a couple of minutes and then I’ll swing by and pick you up.” Jim didn’t give either of them a chance to argue with him. He walked Karen back to her car and opened the door, waiting for her to get in. “Come on,” he said, and Pam could hear impatience creeping into his voice. She wondered if it was directed at Karen or if he was just cold, because she was absolutely freezing as they stood there in the parking lot. Karen got into the car but it was clear to anyone with eyes that she wasn’t happy about this turn of events.

She said something to Jim but Pam couldn’t hear what it was. She wrapped her scarf tighter around her neck and tried to block the wind from creeping down her collar.

“I’m not going to just leave her here.”

It was hard to pretend not to listen when other people were clearly talking about her but Pam did her best. She was beginning to think that maybe she should have left when everyone else had told her to. At least then, when her car hadn’t started, she could have gotten a ride with literally anyone else.

She snuck a peek at the other car just in time to see Jim bend down to kiss Karen before shutting her door and thumping the top of the car twice. He waited until she’d backed out of her parking spot before turning back toward Pam and his own car.

There was no misinterpreting the look Karen gave her as she drove past. Maybe vodka made Karen bitchy too.

“It’s freezing, let’s go.” Jim’s voice snapped her out of her thoughts and she realized he was standing next to her with the car door open, waiting for her to get inside. She just nodded; she was too tired and too ready to be home to argue with him. She watched as he scraped the ice from the windshield and cleared the snow from the hood of his car.

She didn’t realize until he was seated next to her that this was the first time the two of them had truly been alone together since that night back in May and while she knew it was too late to bolt out of the car and make a run for it, she still considered it.

She really wished she’d let those dishes wait until Monday.

Jim coughed and she turned toward him. “I’m sorry, did you say something?”

“I just realized that I don’t know where you live now.” He drummed his fingers against the steering wheel. “Do I turn left or right out of here?”

“Oh! Right. Um, go left.” Pam pointed as she told him what street she lived on. He nodded, seemingly familiar with the area and they were on their way. “It really is less than ten minutes away from work.” In good weather, she almost added. With the way the snow was drifting across the road, traffic had slowed considerably. “Hey thanks,” she said suddenly. “For driving me home. You really didn’t have to.”

“It’s no problem.”

She couldn’t let it go. “Karen seemed kind of mad.”

“What else is new?” Judging by the look on his face, Jim didn’t realize he’d spoken out loud until it was too late. “She’ll be fine,” he added, looking sheepish as he reached over to turn the volume up on the radio.

Last Christmas I gave you my heart but the very next day you gave it away. Pam pretended not to notice how he practically punched the radio as he tried to change the station.

Christmas is the time to say I love— He pushed another button immediately. Must not be a fan, she thought to herself. That was fine with her; she’d never been a big fan of that song.

Two more button pushes landed on an easy listening station; the kind you’d hear at the dentist’s office.

Damn, I wish I was your lover. Nope. No way. Pam beat him to the buttons this time, surprising herself at how vehemently she switched the station.

Grandma got run over by a reindeer, walking home from our house Christmas Eve.

For the first time, Pam slid her eyes sideways to Jim’s and they looked at each other for a minute before they both shrugged, silently agreeing to leave the worst Christmas song ever written on because it seemed safest in the grand scheme of things.

They didn’t talk much, other than Pam quietly directing him toward her place. The roads were definitely icing up and the way Jim was gripping the steering wheel made her feel like she shouldn’t distract him with mindless chitchat.

Finally, he was pulling up to the curb in front of her house and not a moment too soon, as far as Pam was concerned. Once she’d realized that she couldn’t even come up with any mindless chitchat for the two of them, the silence in the car had stretched well into the awkward territory she’d been fighting to avoid since he’d come back from Stamford.

He frowned as he looked up at her house. “No one’s shoveled the walkway.”

“Not yet,” she said with a laugh. “We don’t have a grounds person here, we’re not that fancy. I do have a brand new shovel though, so I’ll get that done once it stops snowing. Why waste time now if I’ll just have to shovel again in the morning.” She raised an eyebrow at the look he was giving her. “What?”

“Can you even lift a snow shovel?” He tried to keep his voice serious but the corners of his mouth were twitching.

“No,” she deadpanned. “I just push the snow out of my driveway and into the street. Then it’s someone else’s problem.” She laughed at the look he gave her. “You better get going before it gets any worse.” She opened the car door before he could respond. “Thanks again for the ride home. Have a good weekend, Jim.” She gave him a small smile and then stepped out of the car.

His goodbye was eclipsed by her oh shit as her right heel slipped on a patch of ice. She was flat on her back before she could stop herself from falling. Awesome. She reached up to try and brush a strand of hair out of her face but only succeeded in dropping snow down her neck. Even more awesome.

“Shit, Pam!” She heard the car door slam and Jim’s heavy footsteps as he came around her side of the car. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” She managed to sit up, flashing him a small smirk. “Way to park directly on the ice.”

“The whole street is iced over; didn’t have much choice.” He grabbed her by both arms and helped her stand. “Are you okay? You went down hard.”

“That’s what she said.”

“Pam.” The look he shot her both annoyed her and made her a little dizzy. “Did you hurt yourself?”

“No,” she said after taking a few seconds to make sure that was true. “No, I’m okay,” she said again with a nod.

“Good. Okay, let’s get you inside.” He tucked her arm through his.

“Jim, I’m fine.” She tried to remove her arm but he held tight.

“You just fell getting out of the car. There’s ice and snow and I’m not going to watch you fall down the steps to your house. Come on.” He carefully led her up the unplowed walkway, shuffling his feet as he walked to clear a small path for her. It was such a Jim thing to do that she felt a little dizzy again. Maybe she’d hit her head harder than she thought. Maybe not.

He stood just inside of the doorway as she turned on the lights and dropped her purse on the floor. She glanced over his shoulder at the storm outside. “I’d ask if you wanted a cup of coffee, but you should probably get going before it gets any worse.” She smiled slightly. “Karen’s waiting.”

“Yeah, no I… I’ll get going here but are you set in case you get snowed in?”

He was stalling. Why was he stalling? “I’m good,” she said, giving him a tiny grin. “I’ve got candles and flashlights and—oh my god!” Her eyes widened as she brought her hand to cover her mouth.

“What?” He took another step into the room.

“Jim, Dwight’s still up on the roof.”

Jim shook his head. “No. No, he wouldn’t be. He has to have gone home by now.”

“No, a normal person would have gone home by now but this is Dwight and you know as well as I do that he’s still waiting for that helicopter.”

“Damn it, you’re right. What do we do?” He stepped out of the hallway and into living room. “We can’t just leave him there.”

“You have to text him and tell him something came up.” She leaned against the counter that separated the living room and kitchen as Jim pulled his cell phone out of his pocket. “Tell him—“

“He’s been compromised and the mission is canceled.” Jim finished for her as he typed out the message. “Oh, and obviously he’ll need to destroy his phone.”

“Brilliant.” Pam grinned as he sent the text. Her smile only fell when she realized there wasn’t a reason for him to stay any longer than he had.

They stared at each other for an awkward moment before he pointed at the door behind him. “Okay, I should go now.”

“Yeah.” She followed him back to the door. “Thanks. Again. Be really careful on your way ho—“They opened the door just in time to watch as a snowplow drove past her house and buried half of Jim’s car under heavy slush and salt.

“Oh.” She pressed her hand to her mouth and cringed as Jim’s swore, his fist hitting the doorframe.

He sighed. “You said you had a shovel?”

Pam stood at her front window and watched as Jim tried to dig his car out. He’d been out there for twenty minutes, but she honestly couldn’t see any progress being made. She bit down on her lower lip, her eyes tracing the smooth lines of his wool-covered shoulders and back as he alternated between pushing and lifting the shovel through the snow. She let her eyes drift a little lower before she shook herself out of it and stepped away from the window.

She could blame vodka for a lot of things, but she couldn’t blame it for the thoughts running through her head in that moment. Plus she hadn’t had anything to drink in hours.

Pam made herself busy. First she changed out of her work clothes and into jeans and a sweater. Then she built a fire in the fireplace and then made some coffee. When there wasn’t anything left to do, she threw her coat over her shoulders and stepped out onto the front porch.

“Jim.” She waited for him to turn around. “Please come back inside,” she called out to him. “It’s freezing and I’m afraid you’re going to get hit by the next plow that comes through.” He looked back at his car with three tires still buried under the snow and then at the shovel in his hands.  “Please,” she asked again. He nodded, his shoulders sagging slightly as he trudged back up to her door. He left the shovel on the porch and she shut the door behind them again.

She immediately began rambling. “You’re probably cold. Obviously. I um, well; I don’t think I have anything that will fit you, but here. Just leave your coat in the hallway and I’ll get you some coffee and you can at least sit by the fire. That should help.”

“Fireplace, huh? You didn’t tell me you had a fireplace.”

She laughed. “Well, they were all out of places with terraces but you know what? A fireplace is much more compatible with Pennsylvania weather.” She handed him a cup and frowned as her fingers slid over his. “Your hands are frozen.”

“They’ll thaw.”

“Are you sure? Do you want to take a hot shower?” Do not think about Jim in your shower. “I know I said I don’t have any clothes that you could wear but I could at least throw yours in the dryer and warm those up while you—“ While you’re naked. Why don’t you just get naked in my house? It’s fine because I love you.

Calm down. She had to remind herself again that Jim didn’t see her that way anymore. He could barely talk to her, let alone look at her. If he had his way, he’d still be outside shoveling his car out of a snowbank.

“Pam, I’m okay, I promise.” He wrapped his hands around the coffee mug and raised it to his lips. “It’s really festive in here,” he commented, gesturing at all of the decorations she’d set out. “I didn’t realize you were such a fan of Christmas.”

“I didn’t know either,” she confessed. “But this is my first Christmas living alone, well, ever, and I didn’t have to fight with anyone about what I could and couldn’t put up and I ended up putting out everything.” She laughed. “I really like it though.”

“It looks good.” Jim nodded toward her kitchen. “That’s a lot of bread, Top Chef,” he said with a lift of his eyebrow, pointing at the half dozen loaves scattered across one of the countertops.

She nodded, deciding against telling him about the dough rising in the fridge or the mini loaves and rolls she’d already wrapped in cellophane and given away. “Turns out I like to bake almost as much as decorating.”

“You’re full of new surprises lately, aren’t you?” He shivered. “I’m going to go roast my feet in front of that fire if that’s okay with you?”

Pam frowned as Jim flexed the fingers of one hand, trying to warm them. “I wish I hadn’t given my robe to Toby.”

Jim laughed. “Mine’s in the car but the doors are probably frozen shut by this point.” He gestured at a throw blanket draped over her couch. “Can I?”

“Yeah, of course.” She watched as he spread the quilt out in front of the couch. They both jumped when his phone rang but only Jim flinched as he looked at the display before bringing it up to his ear.

“Karen, I’m so sorry. I meant to call you.”

Pam took a step backward then turned toward her bedroom with the intention of getting more blankets. Jim was still on the phone when she came back.

“What do you want me to do? The car is stuck. No cabs are running.” She didn’t recall him trying to call a cab. “No, I’m not going to walk home, its ten degrees out there. Yeah, I am going to hang out here until the storm lets up. I don’t exactly have a choice.”

Ouch. Pam couldn’t help but deflate at that but she still understood. Hanging out with her hadn’t exactly been at the top of the list of things he wanted to do lately. She set the blankets on the couch and then went back into the kitchen.

“No,” she heard him say sharply. “Stay at the hotel, there’s now reason you should risk driving to get me. I don’t know what to tell you, if you can’t trust me to be alone for a few hours than—“ he sighed. “Yeah. Yeah, I’ll call you as soon as I can leave. Bye.”

Pam felt Jim’s eyes on her but she kept hers lowered, busily stacking cookies onto a plate.

“Sorry about that,” he apologized. “She’s… not thrilled with this.”

Pam finally brought her eyes to his. “Are any of us?” Her tone was harder than she meant for it to be. She relented when his cheeks reddened. “I’m sorry. It’s just that things have been weird, you know?”

“I know.”

Pam sighed and held up her plate of cookies. “Want to watch a movie?” she asked finally. That way we don’t have to talk, she added silently.

The crease disappeared from between Jim’s eyes and he crossed his arms over his chest. “That depends.” The dip in his voice made it able for her to relax slightly; he sounded so much like pre-Stamford Jim. “By any chance, do you have a Christmas movie we can watch?”

“You name it, I have it.”

“Santa Claus Conquers the Martians.”

“I have it,” she nodded.

“Not the Mystery Science Theater version.”

“Crap, okay. I don’t have it then.” She wandered over to the TV stand and sifted through the dvd cases scattered in front of it. “How about a true classic?”

“Miracle on 34th Street?”

“Close.” She presented him with her choice. “Christmas Vacation.”

“God yes. Fire it up, Beesly.”

Pam nearly froze at the nickname but managed to put in the movie with only slightly shaky hands. Jim was already stretched out on the floor in front of the fire, his back against the couch. She settled herself on the middle cushion of the couch, tucked her legs under her, and pressed play.

They were quiet as the movie played, and Pam felt the tension she’d been holding onto all day slowly slip away. Things were fine as long as they didn’t have to speak to each other.

Still, her eyes kept dropping from the screen to the back of his head. She clenched her hands at her sides, remembering how it felt to slide her fingers through his hair.

Her attention snapped back to the TV as one of her favorite scenes came on. “Hey Griswold,” she murmured along with the movie. “Where do you think you’re gonna put a tree that big?”

Jim answered from near her feet. “Bend over and I’ll show you.” He turned to look at her and they grinned at each other. He grabbed a cookie off of the table. “These are good, why didn’t you bring them to work?”

“Because they weren’t Nutcracker themed.” It was ridiculous answer but he nodded because it made sense to him. Attention soon turned back to the movie. An hour in, Pam recited another line before she could stop herself.

“And why is the carpet all wet, Todd?”

Jim was ready. “I don’t know, Margo!”

They were both laughing hard enough that neither heard the tree branch cracking outside her window until it fell onto the power line and threw them into darkness.

“Do we need any more candles?” Pam called from where she stood in front of the linen closet. After waiting three minutes to see if the power would come back on, Jim had looked outside and realized a power line was lying across the street. He built up the fire the best he could while Pam went off to gather other supplies.

“No, I think anymore and we’ll just increase our chances of accidentally burning the place down. Neither of these flashlights have any batteries in them though.”

Oh. Right. Pam was grateful he couldn’t see her blush as she slipped into the bedroom to locate the stash of batteries she kept on hand. Jim did raise an eyebrow at her as she wordlessly handed them to him, but wisely didn’t say anything.

“It’s not letting up out there, is it?” she asked as she looked out the window. She rubbed her hands up and down her arms and looked over her shoulder at him. “Did you at least get a little warmed up before the heat went off?”

“I’m good,” he assured her. “That fire will keep it warm enough in here, you’ll see.”

“I just hate the quiet.” She said it more to herself than to him as she kept staring out the window. She hadn’t even seen a plow go through in the last thirty minutes.

“Why?”

She jumped, not realizing he was standing right behind her. “Why do I hate the quiet?” she repeated. He nodded and she shrugged. “I’ve never liked it. It makes me anxious. When it’s quiet like this, it’s too easy to start overthinking things.” She chuckled. “I always keep my tv on, even if I’m not watching it,” she admitted. “I need the background noise to keep from going crazy here by myself.”

“Well. Do you want to see how far we can get in reciting the rest of the movie?”

She laughed. “No, but thanks.”

“Do you have any games we could play?” It was his turn to shrug when she looked at him. “There has to be something we can do.”

Pam stared at him for a moment. She didn’t want to sit around and play Jenga with Jim, but what else could they do? Then it hit her. “I do have a game actually,” she said, nodding slowly. “Go sit down again, I’ll be right back.”

“Okay,” she said a few minutes later. She set two shot glasses and a bottle of tequila down on the coffee table and sat down next to Jim on the floor, careful to keep a few feet of space between them.

Jim eyed the table and then her warily. “What is this?”

“You wanted to play a game,” she said easily.

“Tequila shots aren’t exactly a game.”

“No,” she agreed. “They’re not.” She leveled her eyes against his. “Twenty Questions, on the other hand, now that’s a great game.”

He leaned back against the couch. “I don’t know that I know this one.”

“It’s easy,” she promised. “So we each get to ask the other person ten questions. Anything goes. And if you don’t want to answer a question, you take a shot.”

“That’s it?”

“No, that would be too easy. The only other rules are that we can’t repeat a question that’s already been asked and there are no follow-up questions once we’ve answered.”

“Hmm.” Jim’s brow furrowed. “Can I propose an amendment to the rules?”

“Such as?”

“We can ask one repeat question each, but it has to be asked immediately.”

Pam nodded. “I’ll allow it.”

“In that case, I’d like to propose a second amendment.” Jim waited for her nod again. “One follow-up question each.”

“That seems fair. Okay, any more changes?” Jim shook his head and she leaned over to uncap the bottle. “Should we kick this off with a shot just to get that first one out of the way?”

“Your game, your rules.” Jim smirked. “Except for the ones I added to make it better.”

“Uh huh.” She filled both glasses and handed one to him. “Let’s learn a few things about each other, yeah?” She flicked her wrist, swallowing quickly before she could talk herself out of what was potentially a very dangerous idea.

Jim winced, setting his own glass down. “What? No chasers?”

“Oh. Hang on.” She went to the fridge for some sodas. “You can ask the first question,” she called over her shoulder.

“Hm, let’s see. What’s your favorite Christmas movie?” he asked as she sat back down.

“That’s it? You’re really going to waste a question on that?” she asked.

“You can always drink if you think it’s too lame of a question to answer.”

“No, that’s okay. It’s Home Alone 2: Lost in New York. Fascinating, right?”

“I’ll be the judge of what I find fascinating or not. Was that your question?”

“No.” She thought for a minute. “Excluding Dwight, who at work would you most like to hit in the face with a snowball?”

“Excluding Dwight?” Jim shook his head. “Damn. Let’s see. I’m going to go with Kelly.”

“Really? Kelly.” Pam leaned back and crossed her arms in front of her. “I would love to know the story behind that, but not enough to waste my follow-up. Kelly. Huh.” She shook her head. “Okay then. Your turn again. Better make it a really good one. Why don’t you ask me what my favorite color is?”

“Are you seriously trash-talking a game of twenty questions after the first round?”

“Only because I didn’t expect you to ask such childish questions,” she fired back.

“I was just warming up,” he said defensively. “Besides, I didn’t know how serious you wanted to make this game.”

“I mean, do you need to do another shot and loosen up some?” She grabbed the bottle off the table. “We can just sit here and drink if you want, but I thought this could be fun.”

“It’s my turn to ask the questions.” He waited for her to put the bottle down. “Are you doing okay with everything?”

Now they were getting somewhere. That was a better question, even in its vagueness. “With everything?” she repeated. “No, not with everything. With a lot of things, yes, but some things I just don’t think I’ll ever be okay with.” She looked down, picking at the blanket they were sitting on. He didn’t force a follow-up so she took a deep breath.

“What all does Karen know?”

Jim took so long to answer that she looked up at him to see if he had heard her. “I don’t know,” he said finally. “I haven’t really told her anything but she’s smart. I’m sure she’s picked up on a couple of things.” He met her eyes, almost apologetically. “But I haven’t said anything specific to her.” She nodded, waiting for his next question. “Pam, why didn’t you get married?”

Fuck. She wasn’t nearly drunk enough to be that honest with him. What was she supposed to say? Jim, I called my wedding off because of you and look how that worked out? Yeah, that wasn’t happening. Not yet. She sighed and poured herself a shot without looking at him.

Pam waited until the tequila was burning its way into her stomach before she looked up at him, and when she did, she couldn’t read his expression at all.

“Why did you move to Stamford?” The question was out of her mouth before she could stop it and she wasn’t surprised as she watched Jim pour his own shot. Disappointed, yes. But not surprised.

So they weren’t ready for the truth yet. That was fine. It was still early. There was a lot of tequila left and neither of them had anything else to do as long as the power stayed off.

Jim cleared his throat. “Okay I’ve got a good one. What do you think Dwight does with all of that goose grease?”

Pam laughed. As much as she wanted them to sort things out between them, she appreciated his attempt at diffusing the growing tension. “Oh my god, what is it even supposed to be used for?” she asked. “He probably doesn’t use it for anything,” she said after giving it a little thought. “I bet he just keeps it to say that he has more of it than anyone else he knows. I’m sure there’s a group of people that are really jealous of his grease hoard.”

“I mean, I wish I had even a quarter of his goose grease,” Jim agreed. His eyes lit up. “Maybe I should look into that for the new year? Invest in a lot of goose grease to drive Dwight crazy.”

“God that would be so great.” Pam chewed on her lower lip as she considered her next question. She had to figure out her game plan, as they were almost halfway through their questions. She didn’t want to risk losing the answer to a great question but she also didn’t care who his favorite teacher in high school was. She grinned slowly, as she realized what she needed to do. She was going to ask him a throwaway question that she knew he’d never answer, not because she didn’t care what the answer was but because she needed him to take another shot.

Plus, she wanted to make him squirm a little bit.

“Fuck, marry, kill,” she drawled slowly, grinning as he sat up a little straighter against the couch. “Karen, Angela, and…” She hesitated just long enough to make it interesting. “Me.”

“Beesly!”

She smirked. “I know right? It’s a good one.”

“It’s… no, that’s not a good one.” He shook his head. “That’s so unfair. You can’t possibly expect me to answer that.”

“I wouldn’t have asked it if I didn’t want to know.” Pam laughed. “Come on Halpert, you can tell me. Don’t you want to fuck Angela?”

“No!” He practically shouted and she had to cover her mouth to keep from outright laughing at the look of panic on his face. She needed to keep telling herself that this was funny because otherwise she was going to spend way too much time considering which categories he would put her and Karen in, if he was willing to kill Angela.

Unless of course, she was the one he would kill. That was also a definite possibility.

“You’re evil,” he said, pouring another shot. His third one in half an hour. He was about to set the empty glass back down but then changed his mind and pointed it at her. “I’m using my repeat question,” he declared.

“You want me to tell you if I want to fuck, marry, or kill Karen, Angela or myself?” she asked, unable to contain her giggles this time.

“No.” He shook his head. “I want you to tell me if you’re going to fuck, marry, or kill Roy.” It was his turn to smirk as she stopped giggling. “Michael, or me.”

Well damn. She had forgotten he could turn this around on her. Okay, she could do this. Start easy. “I’d kill Michael,” she said immediately. “And I’d marry—“ Shit. Who would she marry? Obviously, she hadn’t married Roy but she didn’t want to tell Jim she’d rather fuck her ex-fiance instead of him. And Jim probably didn’t want to hear her say she’d marry Roy after everything and she really did not want to say she’d fuck him. Pam wasn’t even sure she could say those words out loud.

She sighed and grabbed the bottle out of his hands. “You suck,” she muttered. As she swallowed her third shot of the night she couldn’t believe how quickly her game had turned on her.

“I don’t even feel bad about that,” Jim said, taking a swig from his soda. “I’d even go as far as to say you had it coming.”

“Uh huh.” She broke a chocolate chip cookie into pieces between her fingers. It was hard not to compare their game to the games Jim had corralled everyone into playing the day the smoke alarms had gone off at the office over a year ago. The way she was kind of teasing him right now and the way he was feeding into it; it was hard not to remember what it was like when they were always that way around each other.

She’d known she’d missed it, but she hadn’t really realized just how much until right now.

“Why do you ignore me?” she asked suddenly. She didn’t look away when he looked over at her. “At work, ever since you came back… you don’t… we don’t….” she sighed, frustrated. It was possible that the alcohol was starting to work its way through her system, making it more difficult to think straight. “Tonight shouldn’t have been weird,” she said finally. “You driving me home from work; that should have been a totally normal thing that we do because that’s what we’ve done for years. But it was weird. This,” she paused to gesture between the two of them. “It’s weird, and I don’t know why it would be except that we don’t talk anymore. Why don’t you talk to me anymore, Jim?”

Okay, that was a lot all at once. Strangely enough, she didn’t regret saying any of it.

At least, she didn’t regret it until she saw the look on his face. Jim looked upset; conflicted and uneasy, as he looked between her and the bottle of tequila and weighed his options. The silence stretched on for what seemed like forever and she frowned when his shoulders slumped and he reached for the bottle.

“No,” she said sharply.

“No?” he repeated.

“No. Don’t do that. God Jim, please just tell me.”

“Tell you what? What exactly do you want me to tell you? Do you think I like that it’s easier to just ignore you? I don’t know, okay? I don’t know why.”

“I don’t believe you,” she snapped. “I think you know exactly why and you’re just afraid to say it to my face.”

“And why would I be afraid to say it to your face, Pam? Hmm? Why is it, do you think, that I wouldn’t want to tell you anything? What reason could I possibly have for not wanting to spill my guts to you? Again.”

Pam blinked fast, trying to stop the tears she could feel threatening at the corners of her eyes. “Just tell me,” she pleaded through gritted teeth. “Jim, you know why.”

“You know why too,” he shot back at her.

“No, I don’t.” She sounded weak even to her own ears.

“Yeah Pam, you do.” He leaned forward and poured tap half shots. “I don’t need to tell you because you know damn well why I ignore you. So unless you can’t say it out loud either, maybe you should drink too.”

Pam stared at him for a long moment but he wasn’t relenting. She sighed and raised the glass to her lips. She wanted to vomit, but she knew it wasn’t because of the tequila. Jim was back to staring at her with an unreadable but expectant expression on his face. She sighed and set the glass back down, unsteady enough that some spilled over the sides. “I know why,” she admitted quietly.

Jim set his glass down too. When he spoke, his voice was calmer than before. “I don’t like that this is the way things are between us. Pam, I don’t want it to be like this.”

“I know,” she whispered. She clenched and released her fists in her lap a few times and took a deep breath. She looked up suddenly. “I’m sorry,” she said, surprising herself.

He gave her a small nod. “I’m sorry too.”

She closed her eyes and leaned her head against the back of the couch so she didn’t have to look at him when she asked, “Should we keep playing?”

“We’ve made it this far.” She could feel Jim’s shrug more than anything else. “Hey.” He waited until she opened her eyes and looked at him again. “Why did you text me?” She frowned, confused until he kept going. “When I was in Stamford, one night I got a text message from you. All it said was ‘you won’t believe what’s happening right now’.”

“Oh right.” She nodded. ‘Diwali. Michael had just proposed to a woman he’d been on four dates with.”

“But why were you telling me that?”

Pam shrugged. “We’d just talked to each other for the first time in months a week before that,” she started. “And it had felt so good to talk to you again, to laugh with you again; that when it happened, when I was watching Michael derail his own relationship in front of hundreds of people…” she laughed slightly and shook her head. “I couldn’t think of anyone else I wanted to tell more than you.”

“I’m sorry I never texted you back.”

“Why didn’t you?”

Jim blinked. “Are you using your follow-up question?”

Pam nodded. “I am. Why didn’t you text me back that night? It kind of sucked that you didn’t,” she added.

“There isn’t any big reason why,” he said with a shrug. “We had to say late to work that night and when Andy works late, he brings a bottle of Jagermeister with him to share.” He laughed at the look she gave him. “Not everyone’s a pro-shot taker like you, Tequila Sunrise,” he teased her. “I had seven shots that night, on an empty stomach no less, and was so drunk that I had to get a ride home. I didn’t text you back because I didn’t see it until the next day and I was too busy dying from a hangover. And by the time I felt human again, it just seemed too late to say anything.”

“Huh.” She leaned her head on her hand. “So you mean to tell me I could have spent that night texting a drunk Jim instead of fending off Michael’s attempts at kissing me? That’s really too bad.”

“Wait, he tried to kiss you? Why haven’t I heard that story yet?” Her smile slipped a little and he frowned. “Oh right. Listen, for what it’s worth Pam, I chickened out. I know I should have texted you back, even if it was a day later. I wish I would have.”

Pam nodded. The fact that he was giving her this much was more than she’d expected after the last round of questions and she was happy to take it.

Still, she couldn’t help herself.

“Who’s better in bed, Katy or Karen?”

She was either brilliant or she was an idiot.

“What? No, come on.”

“No, you come on. I’m curious.” She shifted sideways and nudged the tequila bottle toward him. “Seems silly to risk a shot on this, doesn’t it?” She snickered at the look he gave her. “I just really want to know.”

“Why?”

“Why not? We’re learning things tonight Jim; and I want to learn this.” She paused. “Would it help if I first told you how terrible Roy is in bed?” Oh yeah, she was tipsy.

“Yes,” he said immediately. “Yes that would help me not feel so weird about your question. Tell me all about it.”

“Oh geeze.” She rolled her eyes, but then she remembered that she was the one who’d offered this slight detour. Plus, she’d spent enough time wondering about either of his girlfriends; it would be worth sacrificing her pride to know the truth.

“Roy was terrible in bed,” she admitted. “He wasn’t so great out of bed either, sex-wise or other but I’m pretty confident in saying that he was the worst. Sex-wise,” she clarified.

“Or other.” Jim held up his hands. “Sorry. I’ll be quiet. Continue.”

“There isn’t much to say, really.” She wouldn’t admit it to herself but she was enjoying this. She wanted to push Jim even further out of his comfort zone than she already had. “He was so not interested in doing even the slightest amount of anything to get me off that I could say with one hundred percent certainty that even after ten years of step by step instructions and a helping hand; he still wouldn’t be able to find my clit if there was an arrow pointing to it.”

Sure enough, Jim almost choked on the soda he’d just taken a drink of. “Pam Beesly!”

“What?” She grinned at him lazily. “It’s true.”

“Still.” He shook his head at her, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand. “I just didn’t think I’d ever hear you so casually talk about sex like this. You’re so different outside of work now that you’re not with him.”

“Am I?” She tilted her head to the side, thinking back on years of margarita soaked nights out with Isobel where she’d not only explicitly bitched about Roy and all of his shortcomings, and on more recent nights out where she’d openly fantasized about the man sitting two feet away from her. She wondered what Jim would think if he knew any of that.

Right. This is why she didn’t drink tequila. It made her lose whatever filter she had to keep her from saying things that would get her into trouble.

“Yeah, I guess I am,” she said simply.

“Okay so go back.” Jim pulled himself up higher against the couch, his foot brushing against hers as he settled in. “Are you actually telling me that in ten years, you never had an orgasm with Roy?”

“Oh god no, I didn’t say that.” She laughed again. “Let’s just say that I learned really early on how to take things into my own hands.” Pam would have been straight up lying if she said she didn’t absolutely love the current look on Jim’s face.

He recovered quickly. “Guess that explains why you keep your batteries in the bedroom.”

It was her turn to choke but she played it off with a cough and enjoyed a silent victory as he realized she wasn’t going to say anything to correct him.

“Right, so then—“

“Hey, aren’t you supposed to be answering my question?” she asked.

“And I will, but I have so many more questions about this.”

Pam shook her head, but was unable to keep from grinning at him. “We’re so far off the rules right now.”

“Let’s be rule-breakers. You said you wanted to learn things and I am learning so much right now.”

“Mmhmm.” She rolled her eyes. “Fine. You get one more question.”

“I think you mean two more questions. Maybe three. Don’t quantify this; let’s just see how it plays out.”

“Yes, let’s.” She grabbed the tequila and took a pull straight from the bottle without flinching. “Just so we’re clear though, I reserve the right to question you to my heart’s content later if I so choose.”

“Fine with me.” Jim didn’t even blink at her declaration. “But back to all of this. Are you telling me that you got yourself off every time you had sex with Roy?”

“No.” She shook her head. “Wouldn’t that be exhausting? Usually I just faked it. Towards the end there, it wasn’t like we were going at it like animals or anything.”

“Shut up, you faked it?” Jim’s eyes were wider than they’d been all night. “And he just went along with it? He didn’t try to, I don’t know, up his game or something?”

She laughed again. It was cute that he assumed Roy cared either way. “When I needed to, yeah. Got good enough at it over the years that I doubt he ever knew the difference.”

“So he never caught on?”

“No idea.” She propped her head on a hand on the couch cushion and kicked him lightly. “Jim, he didn’t care. That’s the whole point.”

“He’s such an ass,” Jim muttered under his breath. She could only agree. Suddenly, she was very aware of the silence in the room so she jumped up and headed for the kitchen to grab them each another soda.

They both pretended not to notice that when she sat back down, she was closer to him than before.

“I think you should show me.”

“Show you what?”

Jim smirked. “How good you are at faking it.”

“Oh shut up.” She reached over to punch his shoulder but the alcohol, or maybe it was the way he was looking at her, whatever it was, threw her off balance just enough that she missed and her fist landed on his upper thigh. She let her fingers uncurl slightly over his leg before moving her hand back into her own lap. She was spinning out and needed to get back on track. “I’m sure it’s no different than when Karen fakes it,” she said innocently, looking off over his shoulder.

“Cute.” He reached for the bottle of tequila and taking her earlier cue, gulped straight from the bottle. “I promise you, Karen doesn’t have to fake anything.”

She fixed her gaze on his. “I wonder how many times Roy’s said the same thing.” She watched as he opened and shut his mouth a few times but failed to come up with a retort. She giggled and nudged her shoulder into his. “Are you drunk, Halpert? You walked right into that one.”

“Not going to lie, you’re throwing me off my game a little tonight.”

“Sorry.” She knew she didn’t sound sorry in the slightest. “Let’s get back to you now though, and my original question. Katy or Karen?”

“I just want you to know that I really hate this question.”

“That’s fine.”

Jim refused to meet her eyes with his. “Neither of them is bad; I also want you to know that.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Katy,” he said so quickly that she wasn’t sure she heard him.

“Katy?” He nodded. She sure as hell hadn’t expected that answer. “Oh, I so need to know why Katy.”

“Okay, so Karen… she’s fine, right? She’s more than fine. She’s great, honestly. And willing, and—“ he shook his head. “You don’t want to know all of the details.” She kind of did, though. “She’s just—“ he shook his head again and started over. Flustered Jim was adorable. “Katy, on the other hand, she was so much more eager. And up for anything. Constantly surprising me. It never got boring.”

“So you’re saying Karen’s boring in bed?” It was too good not to repeat it.

“No.” He glared at her. “Not boring, exactly. She’s…methodical.”

“Right.” Karen was boring in bed. Karen was boring in bed.

“And she knows what she likes and what she doesn’t and its fine if she doesn’t want to try new things.”

“I don’t know Jim, sounds pretty boring to me.” God, she felt great having this new information. She thought he was going to get mad at her but then his face relaxed into a smirk that she’d seen more that night than she had in a long time.

“What would you even know about it?” he shot back. “At least I don’t have to fake anything with her.”

“Wouldn’t have to with me either.”

What.

The.

Actual.

Fuck.

Pam’s mind was reeling. Sure, she had said a lot of things in the last two hours that she either hadn’t meant to or new she was almost certain she was going to regret when her scales were tipped more toward sober than drunk but that? She hadn’t ever dreamed she’d say something so boldly stupid to him.

He wasn’t saying anything. Why wasn’t he saying anything? She blindly grabbed for the bottle of tequila. She needed another drink before she could look at him again.

Still, she didn’t look at him until he took the tequila from her hands. It was probably her imagination, but it sure as hell felt like he’d let his fingers run over hers with more intention than necessary.

But what did she know? She was probably drunk.

She held her breath and watched as he took a long pull from the bottle. Finally, he spoke.

“Just so we’re clear. Neither would you.”

She held his gaze for a second longer. “Okay, so Katy over Karen,” she breathed out. “Good to know.” She nudged his knee with hers. “Your question.”

He raised an eyebrow at her. “Not using your right to ask me a million questions?”

“Nope.”

“Alright then.” His hands flexed against his legs and she watched as he moved to grab the bottle again before setting it down and pushing it further across the table.

“Can I kiss you?”

“Can I kiss you?”

There was no way she had heard him right. She was drunk. The cold was making her delusional. He had asked her something entirely different and she was only hearing what she wanted to. But he did look like he maybe wanted to kiss her, and it really wasn’t that cold in her apartment, and fine, she was tipping the scales more toward drunk than sober, but that hadn’t ever affected her hearing before.

“Pam?”

She snapped her eyes back to his. “Hmm?”

The corners of his mouth twitched. “Can I kiss you?”

Yep. She definitely heard him that time. She nodded, not trusting herself to speak but Jim was already shaking his head.

“You have to say it.”

“Okay. Yes,” she added in case ‘okay’ wasn’t good enough for him but it must have been because his hands were tangling into her hair and his mouth was pressing against hers and that was his tongue and this game was no doubt the best worst idea she’d ever had but she couldn’t bring herself to care because he was kissing her. He was kissing her. And then she was turning into him and bracing herself against his forearms as he caught her lower lip between his teeth. She could feel the muscles tightening under his sleeves and his fingers twisted a little too tightly at the back of her head and instinctively she knew he was trying to keep his hands away from other parts of her. She felt her own nails digging into his skin for similar reasons.

Too soon, she could feel him pulling away. His lips slowed against hers, lingering and then separating, again and again until he loosened his hold on her, kissed the corner of her mouth, and leaned back, exhaling slowly.

Pam wasn’t finished. Her body had clearly ceased all communication with her brain because the next thing she knew, she was throwing one leg over him, kneeling on either side of his lap. “Same question,” she said breathlessly, her hands cradling both sides of his face. “Can I kiss you?”

“Yes.” His response was immediate but she didn’t kiss him. To his credit, he counted to five before faltering under her intense stare. “Well?” he asked, clearing his throat.

“Shut up,” she whispered. Her thumbs stroked lightly against his jaw as her gaze moved from his eyes, down to his lips when she ran one thumb over the lower one, and then back up to his eyes again. She nodded, more to herself than to him, and then she leaned forward and pressed her mouth back to his, sighing at how simple it was.

She was slow and tentative at first; reveling in how right it felt all the while knowing how wrong it was. She teased at him; light, fluttery brushes of her lips against his before he surprised her, his tongue sweeping into her mouth in the midst of a sigh.

Pam was faintly aware of his hands stealing up her back but her sole focus was committing this moment, and the actual physical act of kissing Jim, to memory. He tasted warm and like tequila and she knew she’d never again be able to drink a margarita and not think of him. He felt solid when her hands slid over his shoulders and around his back and strong when he gave in and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her against him. The scent of his aftershave intoxicated her more than any bottle of Don Julio Blanco ever would. And the strangled gasp she heard deep in his throat when this time she was the one to pull on his hair a little too roughly? It only made her wonder what he would sound like if her lips were elsewhere on him.

So yeah, her senses were already good and overloaded by the time she pulled away from him, but when she did, it was the sight of him that would be forever burned into her memory. His eyes were dark with want, and his mouth was practically begging to be covered by hers again, but she could see by the expression on his face that he was completely wrecked. She imagined she looked the same.

She eased herself off of his lap and back onto the floor next to him. It occurred to her that maybe they had definitely crossed all of the lines but honestly, she couldn’t bring herself to care. The only thing she was worried about was the way that Jim continued to look at her and that he wasn’t saying anything.

She watched as he closed his eyes and took a few staggering breaths. At least he could breathe, she felt like she’d forgotten how.

“Follow-up question.” His eyes were still closed and she was almost tempted into leaning forward and kissing him again.

“Shoot.”

He opened his eyes and stared at her. “Why?”

That was an easy one. “Because at least once, I wanted to be the one to kiss you,” she said softly.

His head dropped and she had to sit on her hands to keep herself from reaching over to brush the hair out of his eyes. “Are we going to talk about this?” he asked.

“We can,” she said. “But we don’t have to.” Pam smiled weakly when he looked up at her again. “We’re both out of follow-up questions.”

“Pam.”

“Jim.” She reached for the bottle and tilted it to her lips before handing it to him to with pleading eyes. “Ask the next question.” I’m giving you an out. Please don’t ruin this. She breathed a sigh of relief when he took his own drink.

“Okay,” he said simply. His eyes said more. We can keep playing, but it’s your funeral. “Is Roy the only guy you’ve ever slept with?”

Her eyes widened slightly and her cheeks burned as she remembered the past summer. Without a ring on her finger, she’d felt untethered and more than a little lost and in those first few weeks after calling off the wedding she had spiraled out of control. She would lose herself in long islands or martinis and then find herself with a high school English teacher with green eyes and brown hair. And when that didn’t help; a blonde and blue eyed engineer. She turned her gaze to the bottle he still held in his hands and remembered that she had only recently started drinking Don Julio because she didn’t like to think about the last person she’d done shots of Cuervo with. Better start pacing yourself, Beesly, or you’re going to have to give up tequila for good.

With her eyes fixed firmly on the carpet, she gave an imperceptible shake of her head.

“Oh.” Jim let out a long breath. “Not going to lie, that was not the answer I thought I was going to get to that one.”

She raised an eyebrow at him. “Regretting asking so many questions earlier, therefore losing any chance of me giving you a freebie here?” she asked dryly.

“A little bit, yeah.” He shrugged sheepishly and she couldn’t help but crack a grin at him.

“Can we take a five minute break? That’s not my next question,” she added quickly, not putting it past him to say it was. “I need to move a bit,” she explained. “And maybe use the bathroom. And get some water. And maybe some pillows because leaning against this couch is uncomfort-“

“I get it, you need a break.” He laughed at her. “Yeah, we can do that, but on one condition.”

“What’s that?”

“I get to use the bathroom first.” He was up and sprinting toward the room at the end of the hallway before she could answer him.

Pam laughed, calling after him that he was a jerk. She stood and stretched, pleasantly surprised that she was still steady on her feet. Others might call that a problem, but she preferred to think that the last fifteen minutes had sobered her up instead of admitting she’d spent the summer building up a high tolerance to mid-shelf tequila. She did grab a few throw pillows from the chair in the corner and tossed them on the quilt they’d been sitting on.

In the kitchen, she ran the water as cold as she could before filling a glass and gulping it down before filling it again. Jim reappeared as she was filling the glass a third time.

“Keep that up, and you’re going to be interrupting the game all night long to keep running to the bathroom.”

She smiled sweetly and shoved the glass at him. “This one’s for you.” Her hands lingered a second to long against his and she nearly knocked him down as she moved past him to lock herself in the bathroom.

She welcomed the closed door between them. As much as she hated silence, she needed a minute or two of it to process everything that had just happened, and what was possibly still happening.

Not that she actually knew what was happening anymore.

She told herself that the only reason she was sliding a lip gloss wand over her lips was because alcohol dried them out.

Jim was back sitting where they had been when she opened the door and stepped out. He looked up when she sat down and held out his phone. “Three missed calls,” he said before powering the phone off and setting it face down on the table.

“You can call her back,” she said. “I can go hang out in my room and—“

“Nah.” He shook his head. “We’re in the middle of a game.”

“Indeed,” she murmured under her breath. He cocked an eyebrow at her and she just shook her head. “My question, right?”

“Yes and that’s the second time I’ve let you off with asking a question that doesn’t count. Surely, I should get some sort of prize for that.”

“Maybe later.” She had to stop saying things without thinking them through. Thankfully he just laughed and looked at her expectantly, waiting for her next question. She was glad she had thought of one while she was hiding from him in the bathroom.

“Jim, are you in love with Karen?” She prayed he wouldn’t reach for the tequila again.

He didn’t. “No.” He shook his head. “Sometimes, maybe, I wish that I was. And I’m sure she wishes I was. But no, I’m not.”

Are you still in love with me? She tasted blood as she bit the inside of her cheek but she managed to keep her mouth shut this time and ducked her head so he couldn’t see the grin that was threatening to split her face in two.

“Hey.” His hand was warm and heavy on her knee and she looked up at him with a start. His eyes had darkened again, but she saw distress more than she saw lust and she realized she was holding her breath as she braced herself for his next question.

“Why couldn’t you just leave with me after casino night?”

She sighed. “I wanted to. You have to know that I wanted to.”

“Um no, actually. I don’t know that.”

“I wanted to,” she repeated firmly. “I know what I said, and what I did, but you need to understand the situation I was in. God, Jim. With five words you turned everything upside down and you were standing there with all of this hope and all of these expectations and yeah, I panicked. I know that sounds lame and awful, but it’s true. I panicked. I couldn’t see past that moment we were frozen in. You’re so impulsive, you always have been and it’s one of my favorite things about you but you know me. You know that I’m not. I never have been. I’m a planner. I overthink things. And god, you were just standing there and it felt like you were asking me to leave everything I knew behind and in the moment, it just felt impossible.” Her voice was starting to shake so she paused and steeled herself to say the rest. Jim didn’t say a word and she knew that he was afraid that she’d stop talking if he interrupted her.

“I needed time,” she said slowly. “You asked me if I was really going to marry him and I wanted to say no, but all I could think about was how trapped I was. Ten years of my life, my house, my car, my bank account – every single thing I had was somehow tied to him and you were standing there looking at me and I was trying to figure out how I could possibly untangle and separate my life from his and just tell you that no, I wasn’t going to marry him but I was overwhelmed and caught off guard and I started to panic and—“ she sighed and shrugged helplessly. “I got scared and I said I couldn’t. And you walked away.”

She took a few more deep breaths. She’d told him this much, she was damn well going to tell him everything. “So I went home. And I didn’t sleep. I locked myself in the guest bedroom with a notebook and a pen and I started making plans. It took me two days, but I figured it out. I knew how to separate my life from his and I started to let myself see how I could attach mine to yours. It sounds so stupid now, I don’t know how I hadn’t seen it before that, I was probably too afraid to let myself see it until then, but all of a sudden it wasn’t complicated at all.”

She stared at the fire behind him as her eyes filled with tears. “But then you left. You were just gone.” She didn’t move as he inched closer to her and she didn’t resist when his arms went around her. “You didn’t give me any time,” she mumbled into his shoulder.

They were quiet for a few minutes. Pam tried not to cry, but she was unable to stop a few tears from dripping onto his sweater. Jim just held her, occasionally he rubbed circles into the small of her back, but that was all.

His voice was low and rough when he finally did speak. “In hindsight, it’s possible that my leaving town immediately was an overreaction.” He moved his hand around to softly  tickle her ribcage, trying to get her to smile. “You called me impulsive, but really, that’s just a nice way of saying I’m impatient.”

She barked out a laugh, smirking at him through glassy eyes. “Impatient works too.” She extracted herself from his embrace and settled back against the couch again but she didn’t object when he leaned over and covered her hand with his.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “You’re right. I wasn’t thinking about any of that.”

“It wasn’t your baggage to worry about.”

“But I still should have.” He squeezed her hand lightly and she sighed, letting her head fall to rest on his shoulder. “You’ve got one last question, Beesly.”

Do you still love me? Pam almost laughed to herself. Even now, after everything, she wasn’t nearly so brave that she could just outright ask him if he was still in love with her. There was no way.

Possibilities tumbled around in her head as she tried to decide the best way to skate around the question as delicately as she could while still managing to get the answer she wanted. What came out of her mouth wasn’t at all what she expected to.

“I lied to you earlier.”

“I lied to you earlier.”

Pam held her breath as waited for Jim to process and react to the words she’d just said. She felt his body tense under their hands, still clasped over his left knee.

“I knew it. You have only slept with Roy.”

She smiled thinly. “No, not that.” She ignored the look on his face, knowing that was a story she’d have to share on another day. “I lied about my favorite Christmas movie.”

“Wait, the very first question I asked you?” She nodded. “The one you mocked me about even asking? You lied right from the start?” She nodded again. “What are the rules for lying in this game? Do you have to drink the whole bottle now? I think you have to finish it.”

“Jim—“

He was on a roll and she was losing the battle to keep a serious face as he turned to her in his fake outrage. “I mean, if you’re going to lie about your favorite Christmas movie, what else are you willing to lie about? Is this even your apartment?”

“Okay stop!”

“Pam, come on.” He was laughing now too. “After everything else, I don’t think I really care about your favorite Christmas movie.”

“You might,” she pointed out. “Can I tell you why I lied? That’s my question.”

He gave her another long look and then shrugged his shoulders. “Sure. Let’s hear why you’re a big fat liar.”

“Thanks.” She sighed. “So it was my favorite Christmas movie up until this year. I couldn’t tell you why, I just have always loved it, and I probably watch it once a week between Thanksgiving and Christmas.” She stood up and walked over to her Christmas tree. She carefully pulled down one of the ornaments and brought it back to Jim. “Do you remember this?”

He turned the glass bird over in his hands and grinned up at her. “It’s a turtledove. You gave me one of these the first Christmas we worked together.”

“Do you still have it?”

“Of course I do.”

She realized she hadn’t known how he was going to answer that and was pleased when he’d said yes. “I didn’t tell you at the time, but I gave you that because of a scene from that movie.” She tilted her head to the side. “Have you ever seen it?”

“When I was a kid, sure. Can’t say I’ve seen it since then.”

“Mmm. Well, a toy store owner is telling Kevin that he can have any ornament off the tree in the store and suggests he takes the turtledoves, because then he gets two instead of one, because they come as a pair.”

“Well sure. Its two turtledoves. I know that from the song.”

“He then goes on to tell him that what you’re supposed to do is keep one for yourself,” she pointed at the ornament he still held. “And then you give the other one to a special person, because turtledoves are a symbol of friendship and love. So as long as each of us has one, we’re supposed to be friends forever.”

“I don’t think you told me that when you gave me the ornament.”

“Well no.” She smiled guiltily. “I was just lucky that we did an ornament exchange that year and I picked your name. You just thought it was a silly bird.”

“I never said it was silly. But now that you mention it—“

“I’m glad you still have it.” She took the ornament from his hands and hung it back on the tree. “It’s the first ornament that goes on my tree every year. After Santa and Mrs. Claus of course,” she said, pointing at the ornaments at the top of the tree.

“How many of these have you given out?” His question sounded more curious than accusatory.

“Just one.” She settled back in next to him. “So anyways, yeah, I stole that from my favorite Christmas movie.”

“But you said it’s not your favorite anymore?”

Pam shook her head. “I only watched it once this year. The Friday after Thanksgiving. I was trying to force myself into the holiday spirit and thought what better way?” She could hear a trace of bitterness when she tried to laugh. “It was bad enough when I got to the turtledoves part; I could barely sit through that without thinking about everything going on between you and me, and I’m not blaming you; that’s not what this is, I’m just telling you that I haven’t been happy with how we are around each other. And so remembering that I had stupidly given you this silly gift years ago and now we weren’t even friends?” She shrugged. “It wasn’t my favorite moment.”

“Okay but, I still have the ornament. And it’s on my tree. So even if we haven’t been acting like best friends anymore, Pam, I –“

She cut him off. “But then there’s another scene toward the end of the movie. Kevin is talking with the creepy bird lady? Only she’s not creepy, she’s just lonely and sad and—“ she shook her head, trying to focus before she went even further off the rails. Jim probably already thought she was insane for rambling on and on about a mediocre kid’s movie from the nineties. “And Kevin asks her why she’s sad. Do you know what she says?”

“Pam, I told you. I haven’t seen the movie in like, twenty years.”

“She says ‘the man I loved fell out of love with me and it broke my heart.’ And damn it Jim, it broke my heart.” She tipped her head back against the couch and closed her eyes. “I threw my remote at the tv,” she confessed. “And then I got up and actually turned it off, but not before she said something else about how you can trust a person but then when things are down, they can forget about you. I shut it off and I haven’t been able to watch it again this month.” She rolled her head to the side and looked at him. “I’m not mad at you,” she said softly. “I was before and I’m sure you were just as mad at me. You had every right to be. But I hate that movie so much right now. Almost as much as I hate that you forgot about me.”

“Wait.” Jim looked at her incredulously. “You really think that? You think I forgot about you?”

“Didn’t you?” she challenged.

“No, believe me. I never forgot about you, no matter how hard I tried.” His laugh should have been laced with bitterness but if she listened close enough, it sounded more like begrudging fondness.

“But you wanted to.”

“Yeah, at first, of course I did. I wanted to forget everything about that night. But it’s all still there. No matter what. You are still there.”

“I’m sorry.” She started to apologize but he shook his head at her.

“No, don’t, that’s not what—“ Jim shook his head. “I’m not mad about it anymore. Yeah, if we were having this conversation say, back in June or maybe even July, there’d be a lot more yelling and need for apologies but I’m just telling you. Pam, I never forgot you.”

“Oh.” She took a deep breath and looked up at him cautiously. “Does that mean you didn’t fall out of love with me either?”

Jim raised an eyebrow at her but she saw him grin before he turned away from her. “The fire is getting low,” he said, standing up.

She watched wordlessly as he got the fire going again. It had been one thing when she’d been watching him earlier in the evening when he’d been trying to shovel out his car, but now he was less than three feet away from her and she couldn’t tear her eyes away from him and all he was doing was adding kindling to the fire.

“There we go.” He blew out two of the candles that had burned down to the wicks and then sat back down, his thigh pressed solidly against hers. “Now where were we?”

“You tell me.”

“Hm. I think I was about to tell you that there has to be consequences for lying during your own game.” He shook his head. “Seriously Beesly, the very first question? I expected better from you.”

“I know; I’m a big disappointment.” She sighed dramatically. “But you’re right, we can’t let this slide. I’ll accept whatever consequence you see fit.” She eyed the forgotten bottle of tequila on her coffee table. “Fair warning though, if you make me drink the rest of that, you will see me throw up.”

“Well lucky for you, that’s not something I think I need to see. No, I think I should get to ask a bonus question.”

Pam sucked in a quick breath. There were so many ways that this could go that even just thinking about the questions he could ask her made her head spin more than the alcohol coursing through her body. “I don’t suppose I get a choice between that and another option?”

He laughed easily. “No, I think this has to be it. I mean, unless you want to throw up in front of me?”

No, she didn’t want that. “Okay. You can ask a bonus question,” she agreed. She steeled herself, preparing for the worst.

Ten seconds later he still hadn’t asked her anything and she peeked cautiously up at him. He was just staring at her. “Jim?”

“Shut up.” They grinned at each other and he reached up to tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear, the back of his fingers trailing down her neck. “I want you.”

She swallowed as his hand continued down her arm, stopping at her elbow. “That’s not a question.”

“No.” He shook his head. “It never has been.”

Her mouth opened in a silent oh at the same time he leaned forward, stealing the rest of her words away from her as his lips crashed into hers. It wasn’t long before they were undressing each other. Her sweater hit the floor first, followed quickly by his white button down shirt.

Jim undid her bra with the kind of ease that only came with practice. He slid the straps down slowly, one at a time before pulling it from her body and tossing it on the couch behind them. Laying her down carefully, he knelt over her with his hands splayed over her ribcage and stared.

She was warm under his gaze but grew anxious when he didn’t move or say anything. “What?” She raised a hand to cover herself but he caught it and her other, lacing their fingers together above her head.

“This is the first time I’ve ever seen you naked.” He bent down and pressed his face to her breasts, kissing his way around them before capturing a nipple between his teeth.

Pam untangled one of her hands and ran it through his hair, holding his head to her body. She gasped when his teeth pulled a little harder, but it wasn’t out of pain.

He spent long minutes paying attention to her breasts and as turned on as she was, she was beginning to get impatient. “Jim.”

“Hmm?”

She wriggled her hips beneath him. “I’m not completely naked yet,” she reminded him.

“Let's fix that.” He tore himself away from her chest and moved down toward her feet, blatantly running his hands over her before pulling her jeans down and off of her.

His hands moved back up until his thumbs slid under the last bit of lace she wore. She watched as he put his mouth on her. “These are soaked,” he whispered, wide-eyed and pressing his tongue against her.

“Take them off,” she pleaded. She lifted off the floor as he slid them down to her knees and she shimmied them off the rest of the way, kicking them to the floor. He ran his tongue over her folds again, his nose bumping against her clit.

Pam pulled away and raised herself onto her knees to kiss him. She tugged at his pants, pushing them down past his hips and waited for him to take them the rest of the way off. If she was going to be naked, he was too. “Lay down,” she whispered. She lay on her side next to him and traced the ridges and planes she’d spent so much time thinking about. She bent to kiss him, nipping at the V that went from his hip to just below his stomach. Her hand brushed against him and she kissed just the tip.

“Come here.” He waited for her to turn her face to his and kissed her. Finally, for the first time, they were laying together completely undressed.

They explored each other, kissing and touching and tasting and teasing every inch of skin.

“Pam?” He rolled her over so she was beneath him.

“Yeah?”

His shifted his weight until he was pressed up against her. “Can I have you now?” He pushed his hips into her. “Please?”

“Yes.” She felt him pushing into her and God, was he taking his time. He sank into her slowly, withdrawing completely every few strokes and then sliding in deeper.

His head hung to her neck. “So tight,” he muttered. Finally, he was all the way inside of her. She gripped his hips and held him there, because fucking finally.

“You feel so good.” Her nails dug into his shoulder as he pushed into her steadily with long even strokes.

“So do you.” They kissed again and she moved her hips against his, trying to speed him up a little. He couldn’t help but laugh at her. “You’re so impatient.”

“Aren't you?” It took a little bit of work but she managed to flip them over so that she was on top. She rose up and eased herself all the way down onto him. She braced herself against his chest and rocked her hips against his, enjoying the new angles.

Pam moved slowly at first, not wanting this to end quickly for either of them. Her hands were still braced against his arms and she winced, hoping he wouldn’t be marked in the morning. She would have felt worse, but then she felt his fingers digging into her hips and knew they both were walking away from this with bruises. They moved together, establishing a rhythm that though still painstakingly slow, was creating the most delicious friction, giving her exactly what she had been craving that she hadn’t been able to find with teachers or engineers or business school students before.

They were both surprised by the broken cry that fell from her lips as he tilted her hips sharply against his and she had to adjust to how huge he felt inside of her. Her eyes popped open the second he hesitated and she shook her head and wrapped an arm around his neck, kissing him frantically as she coaxed him into moving. "Don't you dare fucking stop now," she threatened into his mouth, biting at his lips as he began thrusting into her again.

"Oh God." Her head fell forward into the crook of his neck and before she could stop herself, she was biting and sucking the soft skin into her mouth. Anything to stifle the scream that was building deep within her.

Pam was close. She was so close to coming and she had no idea where Jim was at and this was brand new territory to her because she couldn’t remember a time in which she felt she needed to hold off and let someone else come first. She’d never been the one to be coming first. She tried to talk her body of it, she really did. "Jim, I-" His hand slipped between them and then his fingers were...oh fuck it. She came within seconds, her walls tightening impossibly around him before she came undone in a blur of trembling limbs and shaky breaths and at least one high pitched scream sure to wake Mrs. Henderson upstairs.

She collapsed into him, pressing soft kisses to his chin, his neck, anywhere she could reach without having to move far. The room was silent, save for their breathing and it wasn't until she felt him twitch beneath her that she realized he was still hard inside of her. She smiled, cupping his face again and giving him a kiss that was as sweet as it was sexy. "Your turn,” she whispered, feeling him smile against her. And then he was laying her back down and towering over her.

His stare was unwavering and she fought the urge to flinch under his gaze. He reached down to smooth the hair out of her face before he kissed her and then he was pushing into her once more and god damnit, he was still reaching places inside her she hadn’t known existed. Her eyes fell shut as he lifted one of her legs over his shoulder and suddenly she didn't care how quiet he was going to be, she was pretty sure the whole neighborhood  was going to hear her scream this time around.

"Pam." Her name was the only word he could think of, the only sound that felt right coming from his throat. He bent down again, needing to feel her lips under his, and she was more than happy to oblige. His pace quickened and he was relentless in his thrusting. He paused for a second, afraid he was hurting her but she was quick to quell his fears, rising up to match him thrust for thrust. A few minutes more and he knew she was close again. His head dropped to her shoulder as the full weight of his body fell against her and it was one, two, three long and even thrusts and this time, when she came he was right there with her.

They collapsed into each other and he wrapped his arms around her, tucking her into his chest. She kissed his chest at the same time he kissed her forehead.

“That was…” she shook her head, pressing her face into his chest. “You know what that was.”

“So good,” he agreed. “Why did we wait so long to do that?” Neither of them felt like answering that particular question so they lay there quietly, still running their hands over each other lazily. “We’re going to do that again, right?” And then she laughed because she’d been thinking the same thing and then his mouth was pressing against hers again and she suddenly forgot what had been funny in the first place.

“Cold?” His breath was warm against her ear as he kissed down one side of her neck and across her collarbone. He rolled onto his side and raised himself up on one elbow to look down at her.

She nearly laughed again. It was impossible to feel anything other than his mouth and his hands as he set himself to the task of tasting and exploring as much of her as he could reach.

“No.” She turned her head to the side to catch his mouth in a kiss that was all lips and tongue as she ran her hands over his bare shoulders and around his neck until her fingers finally wound into his hair. She shivered but she truly wasn’t cold. She felt dizzy, still floating in her post-orgasmic haze as his fingertips blazed trails across her body. She gasped, arching sharply against his hand when his thumb brushed against her. He did it again and laughed into her kiss as she steepled one leg, trying to momentarily divert his touch.

She closed her eyes as he slid two fingers into her, his thumb stroking steadily. “Show-off,” she mumbled, grinning into his neck.

“Roy’s a fucking idiot.” Her eyes snapped open and she could tell by the look on his face that he hadn’t meant to say that out loud. But he did and it was out there and she couldn’t stop herself from asking him why.

“You’re so pretty. You know that, right?” His voice was quiet as he leaned in and kissed her throat. “I’ve always thought so. Since we met.” His hand moved, sweeping the broad expanse of his palm back up her thigh, over her stomach, skimming past her breasts, to splay his fingers over her neck before reversing his path, this time with decidedly more emphasis on her breasts. “So pretty,” he repeated, this time a whisper against her lips. “Sometimes I can’t stand it.” His hand was back on her knee and he gently pushed her leg back down. “Like when you wear that red sweater you wore today. You shouldn’t wear that sweater to work, it’s impossible not to stare at you in it. I love that sweater.” His fingers trailed back up the inside of her thigh and she felt her breath catch again. “But now that I’ve seen you like this?” His touch was everywhere but where she wanted it to be. “I see how you look if I—“ He stroked her so lightly she wondered if she was imagining it. “Or when—“ She felt the tip of his middle finger pushing into her. “God,” he muttered as he pulled back just far enough to watch her as slid his fingers into her again. “Fuck, Pam.”

She opened her eyes to see him staring down at her with a hint of a smile and dark eyes. She opened her mouth but he shook his head slightly at her.

“You’re so fucking gorgeous like this.” She watched as what she would only describe as pure satisfaction spread over his face when his fingers crooked just so and she shuddered against him. “He’s an idiot,” he repeated and for a second, Pam couldn’t remember who he was. “I almost feel bad for him.” His words and his smirk told two entirely different stories. “He never got to see you like this.” She didn’t bother to quiet her whimpers when his pace quickened, his fingers gliding in and out of her in a more deliberate pace. “He never made you look like this.”

“Jim.” One hand wrapped around his wrist and the other shot up to grab his shoulder, pulling him down over her so she could bury her head in his chest. “Now would be a good time to stop talking about him.”

“Got it.” He smirked again and nudged her face towards his so he could kiss her hard on the mouth before easing her down onto her back again. She reached for him and frowned when he shook his head and twisted away from her.

“So fucking gorgeous,” he repeated. “Just let me watch you.”

She was too close to protest or remember to feel embarrassed under his stare when her teeth cut into her lower lip and her hips snapped against his hand as she tried to keep up with him. He was whispering into her ear but she didn’t understand what he was saying, didn’t realize she didn’t have to do anything, before he was pulsing his fingers into that spot and she was coming hard and fast around him for the third time that night.

“Jesus, Pam.” He kissed her again before rolling onto his back and bringing her with him. “How the hell am I supposed to look at you every day and pretend I don’t know what you look like during that?”

“You?” She laughed shakily and tucked her head under his chin. “How am I supposed to sit across from you and pretend I don’t know you can do that to me?” She sighed. “I don’t want to pretend.”

“Then don’t.” His voice sounded far more relaxed than his body felt against her. “Shoot me those eyes every couple of hours. Maybe let me see you bite down on your lower lip when you know I’m having a bad day. I’ll make sure to rub my fingers across my mouth now and then so you can know I’m remembering how you feel under them.”

“Jim.” They were both laughing now but she was also holding back a sudden wave of panicked tears.

“I know.” His arms tightened around her. “We’ll figure it out. I promise.”

“Okay.” She lifted her head to kiss him again and it felt more desperate than she cared for. She felt the events of the entire day, that night, catching up to her and taking its toll but she kept kissing him until exhaustion finally won out.

Still; as she faded out of consciousness, she felt his arms wrap solidly around her and his mouth murmured something against her hair that felt a lot like I love you.

She wasn’t sure how much later it was when she’d woken up but she knew it was the middle of the night still as she slid her hands down Jim’s body; whispering in his ear for him to wake up as she stroked him hard and climbed into his lap.

She watched him this time; staring down at him as they rocked slowly together. She kept her eyes on his, felt his hands at her hips, pushing and pulling her against him. He moved to sit up without her having to tell him she was tiring and wrapped an arm around her back to brace her. They both gasped, stilling against each other when the movement drove him deeper, fully into her. He waited for her to give the okay, a slight nod of her head as her nails dug into his shoulders, and then they were moving again; faster than before but still as though they had all the time in the world.

It was later still, or very early maybe, when her eyes opened to feel him rolling on top of her, already heavy against her thigh as he pressed his knee between her legs and buried his face to her chest. He lifted his head to look at her and she knew this time was going to be different. It was frantic and desperate and needy and she felt a little bit like they were racing against daylight. She was quick to find her release and he wasn’t far behind but she nearly broke at the look on his face as he spilled into her.

Pam could see it clearly. Though she knew he hadn’t been so drunk as to not know what they were doing, Jim had fallen out of their alcoholic safety net and his eyes were wide with panic as the impact of what they’d done, of what he’d done, began to hit him. She knew as she cradled his head and wrapped her arms around him that his promises that they would figure everything out weren’t as solid as he’d wanted them to both believe.

She tried not to think that the way they clung to each other as sleep overcame them yet again was because they were both struggling with how to say goodbye in the morning.

“Okay but, you knew where I was and why. I didn’t think I needed to check in with you every hour.”

Pam’s eyes blinked open slowly but she didn’t know if it was from the harsh winter sun streaming through the front window or if it was from Jim’s hushed ‘I’m trying to be quiet but I’m getting pissed off’ voice that was usually reserved for Dwight.

“I don’t know what you want me to say, Karen.” Karen. Pam’s eyes slid back shut as she pretended to sleep so he wouldn’t stop talking and she could keep eavesdropping. She couldn’t hear what Karen was saying but she could hear the clipped, shrill tone of voice she was using and it was obvious that she was angry.

Of course; Pam reasoned, as she allowed herself a quick stretch of pleasantly sore muscles, whether she knew it or not, Karen had every right to be angry.

“Look, this isn’t something we should talk about on the phone.” Jim was still talking. “We can have lunch and I’ll—“

Pam frowned, realizing that she didn’t actually know what Jim’s next move was going to be.

“No, I don’t think—but—“ his voice changed into something she couldn’t entirely recognize but sounded a lot like resignation and guilt and resolve all rolled into one. “Look, I—fine. Yes, okay? Yes. We did.”

Well that sounded interesting. Pam rose to her feet, pulling his discarded work shirt over her shoulders before toeing her way into the kitchen.

Jim looked about as good as she felt and she really hoped there was Advil somewhere in her house. He was leaning against her kitchen counter with his head buried in one hand, wearing just his dress pants and sporting a serious case of bedhead that her fingers itched to comb through.

“Okay but you asked. I wasn’t going to lie. I told you we should do this in person.” He winced and held the phone away as Karen carried on. Pam coughed slightly, alerting him to her presence and his eyes snapped to hers. He brought the phone back to his ear.

“Yeah,” he said softly, his eyes still on Pam’s.

She didn’t realize she was holding her breath until he spoke again and when he did; her heart soared over words nearly identical to ones she’d said last spring.

“Yeah, I think I am.”

There was more yelling, and this time she could hear a distinct fuck you before the call disconnected. They both looked at the phone in his hand and she tried not to smile when he shrugged imperceptibly and set the phone down.

“Morning,” she ventured, making her way around the corner of the counter to stand in the kitchen with him.

“Good morning.” She didn’t miss the way his eyes traveled down her bare legs before he dragged them back to her face. A lazy grin spread across his face. “The good news is that the power came on a couple of hours ago and I made coffee.” He turned to pour her a cup.

“My hero. What’s the bad news?”

“I couldn’t find any Tylenol.” He raised his hands defensively. “I didn’t feel right going through your medicine cabinet; or any other cabinet other than to look for coffee cups, for that matter. Who knows what I would have found?”

She grinned and took a huge sip of coffee before brushing past him to open her junk drawer, finding at least three half-empty pill bottles. “What, did you have too much to drink last night or something?” she asked lightly, shaking a few tablets into his upturned hand.

His fingertips were warm against hers. “Something like that.” He watched as she leaned against the counter across from him. Their postures were mirrored as they stared at each other over the brims of her snowflake patterned coffee mugs. “How are you feeling?”

“Tired,” she said truthfully. According to the clock, it was just past eight. “How long have you been awake?”

“Long enough to make coffee and then a few phone calls. Sorry if I woke you, I was trying to be quiet.” He pointed out the window. “The plows have been through so that’s good. I called Mark and he’s going to be here in about an hour. I figure he and I will head back to the office to get your car and then come back here to dig mine out.”

“You don’t have to get mine. I’ll call—“ He was already shaking his head at her.

“It’s already a done deal. The tow companies are going to have their hands full all day and besides, we can jump your car easy enough and for way cheaper than they would.”

“Yeah?” She took another sip of her coffee. “What’s your going rate?”

“I’ll let you know.” His eyes dipped back down to where his shirt fell open on her since she’d failed to close the top two buttons. “I’m going to need that back though.”

It was on the tip of her tongue to say come and get it but again, in the cold morning sun and without the help of her good friend tequila, she just blushed instead and murmured that she would be right back as she ducked into her bedroom to find her own clothes.

“All yours,” she said, handing him the shirt a few minutes later. “So once your car is free, what are you plans the rest of the day?” Smooth, Pam.

“Pretty busy day actually,” he said, finishing his coffee and setting the cup in the sink. “Once my car’s dug out, I’m going to go home and take a long hot shower.” You could do that here. “And I can already tell that I’m going to need a nap this afternoon.” Perfect, I have a bed we could share for that. “But it all depends.” He grimaced slightly. “She made it pretty clear she doesn’t want to talk to me but I feel like I need to go see Karen and end things in person.”

“Oh?” All of her breath slipped out of her body in that one syllable.

“Yeah. And then I need to go shopping.”

“Shopping?” she echoed. Hungover or not, she really needed to get better at that whole talking thing.

Jim nodded, taking a step closer to her. “Yeah, I need to stock up on a few things before the next storm hits. You know, like bread and milk.” The fingers of his left hand threaded with hers. “Tequila.” He tugged her closer. “I’m going to need to get you a new stock of batteries since we used yours for the flashlights all night.”

“I might be okay without those for a few days,” she said as her free hand slid up his arm to his shoulder.

“Then maybe I want to get you a Christmas present.”

“Presents are nice,” she agreed. His mouth was so close to hers. “Do you know what I want?”

“Tell me.”

“You,” she whispered before rising on her toes to press her lips to his. His mouth instantly opened against hers and she felt a rush of emotion breaking over her as she realized kissing him sober was even better than the night before.

“I don’t know,” he said lightly, his hands following hers as he redid the buttons she kept trying to undo on his shirt. “A real life Jim Halpert action figure? Not only are those insanely expensive, but I hear they can be a lot of work; are you sure you’re ready for that kind of responsibility?”

“Hmm, I think I am.” She nodded as seriously as she could, still fighting with his hands against his chest. “I promise to feed him, and play with him, and dress him. Oh.” She lifted one shoulder in a slight shrug as she batted his hands away and undid the last button and pushed his shirt open. “Or undress him, if the situation calls for it.”

“That all sounds very promising,” Jim agreed, catching her hands and holding them pressed to his chest. “But tell me, Beesly.” He tried to look down at her sternly but she could hear the slight tremor in his voice and see the hopeful look in his eyes. “Do you think you can love him?”

Pam pulled one of her hands free and cupped the side of his face, kissing him sweetly. “That’s the easiest question you’ve asked me yet,” she said, rocking back onto her heels to look him directly in the eye so there was no misinterpreting her next words.

“I already do.”